Pregnancy in the Lifestyle: Fetishes, Scares & the Conversations You Need to Have

0:07 Alright y'all, before we dive in, a quick heads up. This show is raw, real, and definitely not rated pg. We're talking about adult themes, sexual content, and the kind of stuff you probably don't want blasting through your speakers at work or around your kits. So grab some headphones, pour your drink of choice and get comfy. Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not licensed therapists, counselors, or sex. Couches. Sex coaches. Sex coaches, not sex couches or just a couple of people sharing our lives, experiences and sexy adventures. An ethical non-monogamy.

0:47 So with that, pull up a chair and enjoy the show. And. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And today on our Wednesday quickie, we are gonna be discussing pregnancy in the lifestyle. Oh, oh, hello? Yeah. Wait, I was trying to do, ladies not sound like Lucy. Yeah, no, that, that's exactly how you sounded. Oh my goodness. Yeah. That was horrible. Um, yeah, no, I actually, uh, this is inspired, uh, through a friend of mine. She had reached out and we were talking, uh, it's just a random question that came out. I guess her and her husband, they're gonna be, uh, meeting up with a, a couple. Mm-hmm. And they've been talking.

1:29 Via Messenger, and, uh, it was revealed the, one of the woman said that she was pregnant. Oh didn't, I don't think she said how far along, but she was, that she was pregnant. I'm getting seven months pregnant in case you don't notice now this and the situation. You know, she was just kind of, asking about, you know, has this come up before and this and that, and so it just brought up a really good point and a discussion that's not really discussed. Very often when it comes to pregnancy and the lifestyle. And there's two different aspects to this. Uh, the first one is, we're gonna start with is the actual premise of what we were just talking about and we're talking about fetishizing pregnancy. Uh, you know, because, and that, that was something that I was talking about before was, uh, you know, pregnant women are fetishized, uh, and, and, and, you know, that's.

2:19 People find it hot. Not everybody subscribes to this, but it is a kink, uh, that people do subscribe to, um hmm. And so I first noticed this when I was younger back in our hometown. I was a, it was a young book, uh, and, and I used to go to a, a certain strip club, Uhhuh, uh, and I remember that there was a girl there who was like eight months pregnant. She was on the pole, you know? Okay. Yeah. Mama's gotta get money from somewhere. She was dancing. Hey, in all respect, that's fine. Yeah. You know, like I, everybody's got a thing, but what the reason why it always stayed with me throughout these years was that woman made four times the amount of money that any other dancer made that night.

3:07 And yeah. I remember I was friends with a waitress who worked there, and her and I were talking about it and she was like, oh yeah, this woman, she, she bounces from club to club and she'll clean up every single time. Wow. Because men really wanna help her out. Like maybe wanna help her out. I mean, I mean, I don't know. Poor lady already has to dance. I mean, I don't, ladies, we already have to give birth and hold a baby. I don't. And then we gotta be on pole. I mean, come on. I don't think that that's, oh, the way they're looking at it, I don't think that they're going, oh man, I need to give this, this poor girl a 20 mean that she can do. I think it's more sexually fetishized. Oh my bad guys. Sorry.

3:47 And I've, I've asked friends about this before, who I know who dig, that sort of thing. I know that the, there's a lot of fetish that revolves around the boobs and how they become, you know, big and that sort of thing. I mean, I think, Hey, we don't yuck anyone's, no, what I'm saying is like, I think every woman is fetishized in some way just because that's true. It's. Let's just not get into that part. But it is what it's, well, it's what it's, you know, But misogyny at his best. But realistically it, it's, it's something that I have seen in different, I mean, I have two, I I've, I, you know, on, on the apps, you know, on the apps. On the apps. Like three fun, you know, we're on three fun Uhhuh, uh, you know, when you.

4:29 Swipe through it to see who's, there's some people that are very clear that, they're pregnant, they're expecting, and really, hopefully that's your thing, you know? Ah. Now it's my understanding, I guess, I mean, I know this from third party, but when women are pregnant, they're hormones are off the chain. Yeah. But you also can have oral sex. Yeah. Really? Really? Yeah. Women, you should they, that's like the, I don't know if that's still a major thing, but when you're pregnant, you, you cannot have it done on you. I was not aware. Yeah. Because an air bubble can travel up Oh, wow. Into your area. I'm not really sure the whole thing. I mean, I was pregnant. I, I didn't have sex with anybody.

5:09 So it's an accident and it's gonna stay that way. Um, yeah. So I know that's dangerous. That's why I'm like, wow. And so I, you know, like I said, there's there and, and there's a lot of, in porn culture. And I see it a lot in porn Uhhuh. I mean, there's, it exists and, you know, there's, there's pregnant women that are very visibly showing that are doing porn uhhuh. Um, you know, so there's, there's a fetishizing that's there. And like I said, I've, I've seen it in couples before. And like I said, I. That's their thing. That's Oh yeah. Nobody's jacking your yum. No, you do your thing. I'm not talking shit about it at all. It is, yeah. It, it's a thing. Uh, but it is definitely, like I said it's a thing, and how prominent is it in the lifestyle?

5:54 Well, I've seen, postings, but I think really from there, that's pretty much as far as it's gone. Yeah. I don't think we've ever met anybody who's been. Visibly no pregnant in our area. Would you play with somebody who's pregnant? Well, so I was thinking about that, that really brought up a big plus. I mean, I don't, I don't think you would care. Uh, you know, at, at some point I would probably be like, nah, you know, I'll sit this one out. Coach. Yeah. And it's not so much. I don't know. It becomes a maternal thing. Yes. And I don't know if I don't, yeah. Know if it's an Oedipus rec, I don't know how deep this shit goes.

6:36 So I'd just rather stay the fuck away from it, you know what I'm saying? And so. I can probably look past it at, at a certain point, but then after a while I'm just gonna mind fuck myself to the 10th degree. And I would just rather not, you know, let's just, just, let's just not do that're just smart man. Let's just not do that. Let's not go down that route because therapy's taught me anything. It's, you don't open the door. You don't even open if you really don't wanna walk through, don't box. Yeah. Forget it. I'm not gonna go there. Don't ask what's in the box. Yeah. So I think a lot of it has to do with, you know how much I know. Yeah, I mean, I know that it's so if, if I know that she's pregnant, even if she's not showing, I don't know.

7:18 It might be tough if she's not showing and I don't know that she's pregnant. Well, obviously I didn't know. So how could I be discerning about that? Right. If she's slightly showing, like it looks like a, maybe a beer belly. Yeah. I'm cool with that. I think I could see past that. I'd be like, ha, she'd just been drinking a little bit a beer belly. You know what I'm saying? I mean, us women look past the beer belly. So my husband, I do, I don't have a problem with it. I, I love the curves on my ladies man. Just that little pudge it, you know, it's just kind of like, you know what I mean? Yes. And so I, it's like I could look past that. I could be like, well, maybe she's had a couple tacos. I'm, I dig it, you know, but.

7:58 Once it reaches a certain point, it's like, I know she very clearly has a child. Yeah. Uh, then I'm kind of like, eh, it's off kicking you. Maybe, probably not. Yeah. You know, I'll just stay here. That's not my thing. No, no, no. Not my, I would figure not. I would figure not. No. But yeah, it's, I mean, I get it. Been there and see that your answer was much shorter than mine. Yeah. Um. I know a lot of men find it sexy. Yeah. Yeah. I find it. I think the maternal in me just comes out and be like she's a mama. Leave her alone. I just know I'm too fucked up to really explore that. I'm just like, no, I'm good. I already got, I'm already fucked up so much in the head. I'd rather not open that door. This is so true.

8:39 Just keep away from that one. Uh, so yeah, that I think it's. It's something that I've always seen though. I mean all the way back to like the Craigslist days. You know what, you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. You guys that have been in a while know about the Craigslist days. That's when everybody would go searching on Craigslist because they didn't wanna pay for God for sites like s Ls and a fff. Uh, you know, I was one of those guys, what can I say? But we didn't get anybody off of Craigslist, but I used to always look through it to see what was out there. And I don't know what it was about searching through Craigslist. It just made you feel dirty, yeah. Just made you feel dirty. I didn't care for it. Yeah. But I remember I used to see a lot of ads that would basically say, you know, my wife is pregnant and I'm looking for somebody to come Yeah.

9:23 Have sex with her. Uh, and I remember thinking, wow, why? Yeah. It, I. Like even with my, my hot wife I love the whole hot wife thing, but I, I think if you were pregnant, I think I'd want us to just take a step back Yeah. Until after the frailness. The, yeah. You just think you, you go into mommy mode or, or I, I go into mommy mode and you'd go into dad mode. It's just, yeah. It's kind of, it's just like, it's, it's hard to separate it. Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. You know, I mean, that's just from a parental st uh, state, you know, we got. Five kids. And so we've both been through the grinder when it comes to, we've, we've had to raise these kids, for so long, and it's just, I, it's even then, like sometimes we'll meet somebody really young or they act really young.

10:06 Yeah. They make us totally feel like parents. Yeah. No. And then I'm like, ah, you know, and that's not even, that's without pregnancy. Yeah. That's just exactly us. We start turning into parents and it's like, no, thank you. You know what they start saying? They start telling us stories, and I'm like are you serious? Yeah. That's very dangerous. Yeah. You know? And if I have to say that to somebody at a party, then I just feel like an, I feel like the old guy. Mm-hmm. And then. Just take me to the back and shoot you, shoot me. Yeah, no, I, I agree with you. Yeah. It's not it's not something I would go for and if I didn't know and found out later, that would be different. But if I can visibly see that the woman is pregnant, no. I would have to be like, oh yeah.

10:49 Not my thing. Yeah. Yeah. Now, if she wasn't showing, but you knew I still Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd still be steadfast with it. Yeah. She was delicate for me. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. 'cause the maternal will click in and I'm like, no. Yeah, that's a, that's a tricky line to, uh, kind follow. You can, I mean, I don't know all the rules. I, you know, I know as a woman, you know a lot more about this than I do. When you're pregnant, you can't have oral sex. Like, you should not have oral sex done on you. Um, you can't eat sushi, so yeah. What the fuck? You can't eat sushi. Oh my god. Lunch meat is off the table, so there won't be no pussy eating either.

11:31 So you go, there you go. I mean, don't make sense. Connect the dots. Connect the dots. I don't know, I. I would feel, I mean, I've seen people fuck at the clubs and at, and it's a lot of roughness and I mean, I know you like it, like that and whatever, but no, I would, I it would fuck me up too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not showing, not, it's not like it would be unsafe for the baby, obviously. Of course not. I, I would assume most people are are very careful Yeah. With what they're doing, but no, um. I think outside of that, if we have that opportunity, I think that was something that we talked about the other day. Yeah. If we had that opportunity, we would most likely say no. Yeah. And not for any other reason, except for the fact that we're just man, that it.

12:15 Last thing I want is to have a hard on and then have that parental switch turned on. Nope. And then be like, oh, nope, that's not a, that's a very weird place to go. I don't even want to go there. You know what I mean? Uh, so that's just. I would stay away from it, yeah. Me personally. I mean, same. I wouldn't, I'm so glad and that's why we're married. I wouldn't, I mean, I, 'cause I, I would be like, oh, put your feet up and let me massage your feet. Relax mama. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be like, lemme go get you lemonade. Yes. What do you need now? That's so old time. Get you lemonade, lemonade. And sit in a rock and sit in my rocking chair on my deck. Yeah. No, I started going into nesting mode and she's like, this is not your kid.

12:57 Oh my bad. Have you done the laundry? I would be mom mode. No. Yeah. I just can't. 'cause then I wanna talk about the baby and Nah. Yeah, dude. Don't do that. Oh my gosh. No. Stay away from that. Totally turn it off. Yeah, that would be, that would be rough for us. Yeah, that would be rough for us. Now I could be friends like that, that Oh, of course we not friends with now we're, we're strictly talking sexual here, obviously. Uh, that wouldn't stop us from like, hanging out with them, you know, not, it would be a gentle, it would be a gentle No. But we can still hang out and, you know, if you wanna watch us, you're welcome to. Yeah. You know, we can parallel Blake. Yeah, that would be, that could be my, but if he's rough with you, I'm gonna tell your man to stop. Be like, stop it. You can't do that. Hey. Take it easy. Yes. You can't go down on Earth.

13:37 Stop it. Yeah, Yeah. It's a thing guys. It is a thing. Probably just blew your mind there. Well, I thought when you were mentioning the pregnancy, SC Pregnancy Show, I was like, oh my God, did someone accidentally get pregnant? Well, that's where we're going. Ooh. Part two. Part two. Not, not recently. Don't, don't get me wrong. Not recently, but you know, I have heard. On occasion, a story from a person or two, this or that where there is a pregnancy scare? Yeah. And it it's come up. Yeah. Now, obviously there's a lot of people out there who are, um, steadfast on condoms only rule. Uh, there are others who have different ways of playing that they still play safe on the norm, but, uh, you know, things happen.

14:22 Happen. We had a semi, I actually ha, I was asked about a very specific situation, Uhhuh, which was, even if we use a condom if they, say the condom breaks or something happens and they still, there's, has this ever come up where they say, oh well I might be pregnant or whatever. Like, what do you do? So this was funny. We had a situation, us, where we played with a couple, and I wanna say the condom broke. Yeah. When you used it. Yeah. And you pulled off, pulled it off, and you're like, shit. The condom broke. And they were just like, all cool now. But two weeks later she says, oh, I'm pregnant.

15:03 And I looked at Adam and I was like, yeah, if that's yours, it's not yours. I went, yeah. It wasn't, it it, we didn't even have to cross that bridge. It was her husband's, but. I remember thinking, yeah, no, we're not doing that. That would be a sorry. And believe me, we've had these conversations in the very beginning where he was like, well, I'm, I have to be a dad. Nah, you didn't have any kids with me. We're not having kids with anybody. Like, sorry, I get we'll sign what you need. We will just not disown. But you have all the parental rights. We are, we're not doing that. No. Yeah. So that's the only scare I think we've had. But I, we do know of people who have had like True, I know a lot. I, a lot of people, yeah. Know of people who have actually got their par play partner pregnant and it ended in divorce.

15:50 Yeah. Yeah. Which is sad 'cause he's old as fuck. Hey, she was young. Mean. But, but those, I mean that these are things, I mean, it happens. These are things that, I mean, you're playing it, it, if you're worried about STDs and all that good stuff you should be worried about, about things like that, like condoms breaking and what ifs like that. You should have those open conversations. Before they happen. Yeah. I mean, obviously, um, you can see where our conversations go. The easiest way would be to just condoms all the time. Yeah. Yeah, if you, you know, there are people who work something out with people that they play regularly with. Uh, you know, when it comes to testing and stuff, and maybe there's vasectomies involved and you know, things like that.

16:33 Oh yeah, yeah. And, you know, that's, Hey. Consenting adults will consent an adult. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Uh, so that's cool. That's cool that you can do it. But if you are not in a position to have a child, if you know that you are at risk at maybe, there's a, they could be a slip or something like that. Tread lightly. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Can a, a condom break. Yeah. Obviously. Yeah. These things happen. Yeah. Uh, and in that situation, uh, it could have escalated, it didn't, thank goodness. But, you know, these things they can happen. Mm-hmm. Uh, because. They can happen in the vanilla world. Mm-hmm. So they're just gonna happen just the same out here.

17:13 They can happen anywhere. Yeah. You know, uh, but the key is to definitely be safe. And you cross that bridge when it gets there. If it gets there. Yes. Uh, be very careful. Just be safe. Yeah. Like he said. Yeah. You know? Now, uh, in a situation, in a hypothetical situation, let's build this for a second now, hypothetical situation where. It's me, ya, Mario. And it's me and you. And we play with another couple Uhhuh and, you know, condoms are involved, but like I said, something happens. Mm-hmm. A condom breaks or Yeah. Whatever the situation may be. And it comes back like that and it's like, hey, you know, i'm late or whatever.

17:56 Mm-hmm. Uh, what's the move? What are, what are we doing? What, first off, we just got the message. Okay. And you look at me and you go, so and so said this. And what I would be, I would be very honest with her and be like, I'm so sorry that you're late, but if you are pregnant, we do not want, like, we'll sign whatever you need. We do not want any part of this. Yeah. Period. I would discuss it with you, and I would think that you'd be on the same, the same. Level mindset as me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. If you weren't, that would be a totally different situation. That would be a totally different s would situation.

18:37 Adam is now single and he's gonna be raising an infant. Honestly, I don't want any part of that. Like, if that ever happened, I'd be like that. I'm sorry. I guess you and your partner are gonna have a baby because we're not Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta be able to draw the line somewhere. Yeah. And I, I mean, I, I am a hundred percent sure that you're on the same. Yeah. I never disagreed with that. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that would. That would just be where it would end. It'd be like, sorry, but yeah, no, you know, unless you wanna go comping because you weren't Texas and you know, you know, I hate to make your rod go soft. But these are conversations that need to be had. Sometimes these are, um, because ' cause they come up, they come up like it's, it can happen.

19:18 Where you can think that. It cannot happen. It can happen. Yeah. Like you, you always have to talk through these situations because if you don't have a plan already in place, then we're fucked. Now I am curious about one thing. So that's, that's the, I cannot get pregnant, So we ain't worried about that. And you can hear all about that on Sunday's show. Uh, but when it co So that was the, the situation with a co, a couple uhhuh, right? Uh, say. Say it's a single woman Who's a friend of ours. Mm-hmm. What if it happens there? What? Same? Yeah. Same. Yeah. Same. I, uh, you and I decided not to have any children. Yeah. There's no way in hell I would be like, okay.

20:00 Yeah. Cool. The only way it would be in our favor is she said, I don't want this baby, but I don't wanna terminate it. Yeah. I would, I want this baby and I'm gonna give it up for adoption. Then I would be like, I guess we're adopting a freaking kid. Yeah. Because she's gonna sign her rights over. Right, right. But like to co-parent with somebody that we just play with, that they're okay, maybe they're friends, whatever. No. We lost some friends. I don't know. It sounds like a great sitcom. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't, I I, I don't, would never wanna go through that. I'm 48. Yeah. And No, no. I'm ready to be a grandma, but not really.

20:42 Yeah. But yeah, no, I, we have, it's, I am definitely in line with you on that. Yeah. I just, I, I like to hear your point of view on that because it. It really is. There's, there's a lot of people who would sit back and just go along with whatever is said. Yeah. No. Now we've had our discussions. Yeah. And I've explained my beliefs yeah. But I've also felt that you felt a lot stronger about the matter than I did. Yeah. And because of that, I absolutely back you up. And I'm 100% on the same level as you. He ain't gonna be a single daddy. I don't wanna be single and I'm a little tired of being dead. Lemme tell you. Are you though? It's financially taxing.

21:23 Are you though? Yeah, that's right. It's exhausting man. It's just t hiring. Um, yeah, no, we're like living our lives right now. Yeah. We are living our best lives and we're, and really we're not, uh, we're not looking to raise any more kids, you know, like you were saying, this is a very real conversation that you should be having with your partner because. There's a lot of younger people that are coming into this lifestyle, and I'm not saying that they're younger and don't understand because they do, they probably understand sex probably better than a 40 year olds. Yeah. Because of the technology and shit that's out there. Yeah. They've been having sex with AI way before we even knew how to work ai. So Yeah, true. Those Gen Zs, they, they got it down guys.

22:05 Um, and so you, you really should have that conversation with your partner along with all the other hard conversations, like Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this, obviously we're talking about it now. Very easily. Yeah. Because we've already had this discussion Yeah. Behind closed doors before. And that was an uncomfortable conversation. Yeah. And it is just one of the many uncomfortable conversations that if you're in a relationship and you're doing this with your partner, you gotta have that conversation. Yeah. Uh, because it is a thing. It is something that, that has come up and it's worth talking about. It is, it is worth, worth talking about, even if it's a far off hypothetical.

22:46 Yeah. It's very worth talking about because you should be prepared. You should absolutely be prepared. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but that is. Probably the best advice I could give for anybody is just, just be safe, feel, go with your gut, go with your gut. It's, you know, this is, that, this is our scenario and what would happen, what we would say, but go with your gut. Like if, if you wanna play with somebody who's pregnant, just be safe about it. Yeah. Doesn't matter that they can't get pregnant, use protection either way. Now if you're, if you're polyamorous and the people that you get involved with.

23:27 Are also polyamorous. Well, hell start up a relationship and you probably got a good thing going there, you know? And that's the thing. Yeah, that's the thing, man. You know, um, I, I know Swingers that have gotten involved with polyamorous couples and ended up getting pregnant and they ended up raising kids together. Mm-hmm. And you know what? So it works. How can I write, bro? Go ahead. Works for some. Do you? That's awesome. I, you know, and I boo. I think that's it. Yeah. It takes a village. Yeah. Become a village. Yeah. Do your thing. There you go. But for us, obviously it's not it's not our, we're done, we're meeting our village. I'm already tired and I'm just having to take care of myself. Uh, so that's just a bit much for me. But, uh, I, I really appreciate the, uh.

24:07 Questions. The questions. Yeah. I thought it was, uh, very, very masterful in thinking. Uh, and I appreciate it. You guys gotta keep it coming, man. Yeah, that's question. Keep it coming. I love hearing what you gotta say. And we've, we've had a lot of interaction lately and I think it's really, really cool. Keep it coming. Yes. So with that, thanks for hanging with us this week, hanging. If you loved it, make sure to like, subscribe, share, and leave us a review because it seriously helps us grow and it keeps that conversation going. Yes. And you can find everything beyond monogamy at www.beyond-monogamy.com, including our Beyond Monogamy Confessional. Our blog posts are merge and all the juicy extras.

24:49 Yeah, don't forget to check out our events tab on our website for details on upcoming Beyond Monogamy events, or even just a few events. Pause, because we just had a badass event. We did. It was my birthday guys. Y'all get to hear that next Sunday? Yes. Um, yeah, pretty much. Uh, we had, we had an event. It was her birthday. And Sunday's show is gonna break it all down for you. Trust me. It gets juicy. And that one, if you're not feeling. I like hearing some spicy stuff. You may want to go past that one 'cause this one gets a little rough around there just a little bit.

25:29 Yeah, it's been a while since we visited something like that. Uh, so yeah, definitely. Uh, we've got a few events to mark your calendars with. This Sunday, March 22nd, we will have our monthly webinar on SDC. One of our favorites. Uh, where we'll be discussing the red flags and the green flags of the lifestyle. It's a live webinar where we take questions in real time. It's an absolute blast. You definitely gotta check it out. Find us on SDC. Uh, if you already are on it, look up beyond monogamy. Or if you don't have beyond, uh, if you don't have SDC check out our website. At the very bottom, you'll see SDCs logo.

26:10 Click it. And we're all about it. You can, you can join us on the 22nd Nice. And also the next following Sunday, March 28th, and it will be our in-person workshop at Forbidden Fruit here in Austin, Texas. If you wanna join us for that, you can. You can find all the information that you need on our website also@www.forbiddenfruit.com. Slash workshops. That's right. Actually I think that's, is that March 29th or March 28th? It's March 28th. You had said 29th on the last one, but that's okay. Oh, it's alright man. That's alright. Well, hot damn. Are we sure about that? Yeah. Okay. Well either way, if it's, if it says Sunday, March 29th, then it's March 29th.

26:51 If it says Sunday, March 28th, then it's 28th. There you go. There you go. Just go with it. It's the last Sunday of March. That's right. But if you go to that, that, uh, website. You got it all. And of course, the upcoming Texas Desires Hotel takeover. The weekend of April 11th, we will be hanging there for the weekend. Mm-hmm. Just hanging out with everybody and we're even doing a live in person show from the festivities. I believe they only have a few rooms left. So if you're interested, check out the events tab for more information. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out on the channels that we provide and we can put you in touch with the right people. There you go. And we're also streaming every Thursday on full swap radio.com at two and 7:00 PM Central.

27:34 So tune in for a show there and of course, show us some love. There are plenty of other shows you can listen to on that. Full swap radio.com. So go and check 'em all out. They're amazing. Yeah. Yeah, they really are. Uh, as always, thank you so much for listening and we will see you guys next week. Bye.