Where Do You Find Swingers? Apps, Clubs & Meet-and-Greets That Work

0:07 All right, y'all. Before we dive in, a quick heads up This show is raw, real, and definitely not rated PG We're talking about adult themes, sexual content, and the kinda stuff you probably don't want blasting through your speakers at work or around your kids So grab some headphones, pour your drink of choice, and get comfy Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not licensed therapists, counselors, or sex couches. Sex coaches. Sex coaches. Not sex couches We're just a couple of people sharing our lives, experiences, and sexy adventures in ethical non-monogamy. So with that, pull up a chair and enjoy the show Hello and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy.

0:53 I'm Adam. And I'm Pris, and on today's quickie, we're talking about the number one question that lands in our inbox, our DMs, and our confessional. Where do you actually find other swingers? On the swing. Just kidding. It's the question that everybody asks right after, "How did you two get started in this lifestyle?" And honestly, it always makes sense. Nobody wears a pineapple name tag to the grocery store. Well, I mean, there's… I don't know. I've seen some suspects. Yeah. Yeah. So today we're breaking down where the lifestyle actually lives, online, in person, and in some places you might not expect, and what's worked for us over the last 15 years.

1:35 Yeah. Da, da, na, da, na, da. Oh my God. All right. Yeah, so anyhow. I mean- a lot of people feel like it's im- like, when you tell them, you know, "This is where we start," they're like, "Where do you even start? Where did you go?" S- You know- I was in it before you. You were … and I kind of told you, like, websites and stuff. So I knew that we had like Adult FriendFinders, and I knew there was like a swinger- Swing lifestyle … lifestyle. And so those were the two places that you and, uh, I think they're the two places that you and I started, and then you started noticing- Yeah … more places. It took a while. Um- Social media, social media hadn't caught up with that part yet.

2:17 No. There was no r- there was really no apps for it. Yeah. They were only websites. Um, and I wanna say you, you told me about Swing Lifestyle- Yes … SLS- Mm-hmm … and Adult FriendFinder- Mm-hmm … AFF. And we started, uh, accounts on both of them. Right. And we did the free account. Yes. You know? And the free account was actually okay because- Yeah you could send a few messages before it stops for the day, and, you know, you can, you have so many likes that you can go through and like certain pictures- Mm-hmm … or whatever. Like, it was pretty cool, and that was for both of them. Um, and then as time passed, things changed, and they made it really difficult to, um, operate as a free account.

3:05 Mm-hmm. Like, they would always have notifications in your inbox saying that you have messages. But you couldn't check them until you paid. You couldn't check them until you paid- Yeah … for a month. Yeah. You know, stuff like that. And then sometimes, like, I would pay for a month just to check them, and there would be nothing but, like, junk. You know what I mean? So, like, they were screwing with you. Yeah. You know? Um, and so those, uh, I've noticed that there was a lot of bots, a lot of fake accounts, a lot of suspects, you know, that were just kinda like, "Mm, I don't know." Yeah, they're like, "Mm, are you really, like-" Is this, are you real? Yeah. So it, it, there wasn't any, like, Facebook groups.

3:45 No. There wasn't anything like that. Well, so there, there was a couple, but they weren't the best. No. Like- Oh, we always had chats in, like, this thing called Kik. Yeah, so we had a, we, we eventually had a Kik app when- Yeah … we moved out here. Yeah. Um, and they, they would have different, like, chat groups and things- Right like that. Mm-hmm. Funny thing was I would get weirded out when I would be asked to verify. Yeah. Like, send a video of yourself or send a picture of yourself. Right. I don't know why, but it would freak me out, and I would be like, "No, I'm good. I, I don't need to be in here." Yeah. And I guess maybe because I was going through such an introverted time. Probably. And I really didn't wanna show myself.

4:26 I didn't really wanna talk- Yeah … to people, that sort of thing. Uh, but I remember early on, uh, we, we started with those websites. Mm-hmm. Uh, and from those websites we met a couple of people locally- Yes … who turned us on to the Facebook group locally. Mm-hmm. Um, and that's where we would, uh, we met the local group, uh, who would throw parties on occasion and, and then you meet people through them because they bring in more people. Yeah. Um, w- that, that wasn't the, the best- No, but I mean, it was a start. It was where we first started our, our journey. Yeah, yeah.

5:06 And, you know, we, we gained friends from them. Yeah. You know- You know? … people that ask, where do you, you know, how do you meet swingers, that sort of thing. It's easier now. It's a lot easier now- Now … than it was then. Um, we had Craigslist, dude. Like- I mean, we have a friend who says that he used to do, like, Polaroids and send them in the mail and, and- Oh, yeah it, you know, get, like, put a ad in in the back of a- Yeah, well, so that's how they used to do it, was in the back of the swinger magazines, they would have swinger ads. Right. Mm-hmm. And then you'd, you'd have to write to them- Yeah … you know, to their little mailbox, and then they'd write back, and you'd send pictures.

5:47 Um, as things became digitized and the internet became a thing, it, it became a lot easier. Luckily, we didn't have to explore it that way. Yeah. Um, it is a lot easier now because I think- Mm … a lot more people are open about being okay with non-monogamy and accepting swinging as a form of non-monogamy. For sure. Uh, a lot of the younger ju- uh, a lot of the younger people don't really care for the word swinger or swinging- Mm-hmm … uh, because it, it's just seems very old. Yeah. Uh, I think a lot of them refer to themselves as open. But, uh, yeah, I, I think it's, it's considered more normative now- Yes … than when we were exploring.

6:35 A- and so that, because it's like that, you can find way more places to f- to find people in the lifestyle. Um- Y- and you have to be able to have those conversations with people. So when you meet them, you have to be like, "So hey, you a swinger?" Yeah. Well, you know, and, and really you, you have to ask yourself, what do you want experience-wise? Mm-hmm. Because if you're looking for a one-night stand, well, you might struggle finding that. There's a lot of people that say that they're not looking for a one-night stand, but there are also a lot of people who are. People that are. You know? So I mean, y- you can't… You have to start somewhere, so gr- I would for sure say some kind of, like, app.

7:24 Yeah, you know, that's the tough part because you want to recommend something that is cheaper, a- a- as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. Because apps cost. Right. And it can be expensive being a s- a, a swinger sometimes. It can. Uh, but- It can … you can also do it without spending money. You can do SDC for free. Uh, you can do a, a free account on SDC. A free account on SDC. Yeah. You can do 3Fun. You can do a free c- free account on 3Fun. Yeah, on 3Fun. Um- Um, so there are some, some sites that you can find people that maybe you can connect with. If you're into BDSM, there's… What?

8:05 There's one for that. Is it FitLife, FetLife? Oh, FetLife. FetLife, right? Yeah, yeah. Um, so there are… Is there a poly one? So OkCupid was, uh- Mm. Mm … was kind of fit for that sort of- Mm … uh, s- status. Yeah … relationship status. A lot of people say go to clubs. What is your opinion on that? It depends on what kind of experience you're looking for. Yes. A single guy going into a club I don't think has a lot of… Actually, single women and single men that go into a club by themselves, I don't see them have… It's very rare that they have- that they even have an experience.

8:48 Well, see, and that's the thing about it is when we first started as swingers- Mm-hmm … I wanted a sexual experience. I didn't care with who. If we never spoke to them again after sex, I'd be totally- Right okay with that. Right. Um, and I didn't have good experiences- Mm-hmm … because of that. And eventually, I remember telling you, "You know what? I'm, I'm done trying to pursue sex. I'm just gonna pursue friendships-" Right "… and see where it goes." Which should've been the s- the way we started. Which should've been the way we started. Right. Uh, then I realized th- what I was looking for was more community than- Correct … anything else. Yeah. So I wanted a group of people, I wanted a community of people- Mm-hmm … that we could spend time with and hang out with and enjoy, and maybe we'll have sex, or- Maybe not … maybe we won't.

9:37 Yeah. But we have that ability. Um, and that's what I really, uh, found was the best part of this whole thing, and that's why I say it, it really depends on what you're looking to get out of this. Mm-hmm. Are you looking for community? Because if so, then you wanna go to community-type apps- Yeah … like SDC. Like SDC and things like that. SDC is a community-type app. Um- And then you, it starts growing. Then you find meet, and you s- you go to things and you meet people, and- Yeah, you go to meet and greets … they will, and start inviting you to other things. And other, you know, there maybe there's a Facebook group or whatever, and then you start making friends. I will tell you the scammy sites or the, the weird fake profiles.

10:23 Yeah. ' Cause you get those. And you know what, man? AI, yo, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell you guys something right quick, okay? Tell us, baby Y'all gotta, y'all gotta slow down with those AI pictures, okay? I have been seeing people create AI pictures of themselves, pass it off as if they're actual pictures of themselves, and actually take compliments on them. It's like, it's not, it's not you. It's a form of you, but it's not you. I mean, y'all got me stopping and I'm like, "Look, we haven't seen her. Look at her."

11:06 Yeah, and it's like, " No." And he's like, "No, baby." It says right there, " AI." "That's, that's AI." And I'm like, "Oh, shit." Yeah. Yeah. Um- Um, so I mean, just be careful with that. Be careful with… 'Cause now it can be done in videos. Yeah. Well, well, yeah, it can. That's very true. I mean, you can have an OnlyFans and have an AI person do it all for you. Yeah. So I, yeah. Um, what I do, you could do what I do. I verify everybody. Everybody. I verify. If I'm gonna talk to you and I have not met you, you have no mutual friends, they've never met you in person, I will verify who you are. So, um, you can always do that, and if they don't like it- I mean, you can choose- … it's okay … to say no.

11:48 Yeah. You know? That's- Remember that. You can always choose to say no. You can always choose to say no. And you can chat with anybody whenever you want. Yeah. And you know what? H- here's something that I used to deal with that I don't know if e- everybody necessarily knows, but I felt pressure to talk to everybody. Yes. I felt pressure to talk to everybody. You're the only one who does that. Oh. Okay. Yeah. I did not. I don't even have pressure saying goodbye or hello to people. I do it at our club because we're, that's our community, but sometimes we just walk out and don't say bye to nobody.

12:28 So it's not like we're being rude, just everybody's in their thing. Yeah. But yeah, you used to have to say hi to every single person. I don't know. We're not doing that. I'm just saying. We don't do that no more. Well, you know, I, I feel like the best way to find swingers- Mm-hmm … is to find the Facebook groups. That's- That's hard, though. It can be. But- 'Cause they're private. Well, they are, they are. The good ones are private, but let me tell you how we did it this last time. Mm-hmm. Because we didn't start in private ones. No. I don't even remember. No. I'll tell you exactly what we did. Tell me. I know how, I know how we got into the big group because I got invited to there.

13:10 Yeah, right. And then I got you. But how did we even… So this is how we started it. Okay. I found swinger Facebook groups, uh, that were public in Texas. Oh, okay. So I found statewide groups. Okay. And s- there's several, there's usually several statewide groups that were just like, you know, they'd start them and you could go in, and people are all in there. Oh, I got you, yeah. They all message, and other people are going, "Oh, well, I just started up this group. It's a private group if anybody wants to go in." Yeah. And so then before you know it, I'm hopping into different groups. People are inviting me to this group and to that group, and then I- I'm taking you.

13:52 Because most of these groups that are private expect you to have- If you're a couple, you have to have the couple. Yeah … yeah, either a, a couple's profile- Yeah … or you have to bring in your spouse. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of these groups I'd have to bring you in. Um, so then we ended up in private groups. Mm-hmm. And it just took one person going here or saying this, and, "Oh, you guys are," you know, "Oh, I've seen you guys before. Let me- Yeah … let me bring you in here," you know? Yeah. Um, so that's what ended up happening for us. Um, it's still a thing. Okay. So there you go. It's still a thing. You can Google it. You can Google it. Um- You can go into your Facebook and, and look up your state, and then… You can also you can also go to www.beyond-monogamy.com, and at the very, very top of our webpage there, there's this little, um, I think it's in blue letters, it says, "Join our community." And that's our- 'Cause we have one too … our own Beyond Monogamy group.

14:53 Um- I forgot. Yeah. Yeah. And- So there you go, guys … and from there, you know, you're in a group where you can ask straight up to the community that we've created Where can I find other swingers in my community? In my area You know, what are the resources? Yeah. It's all a networking thing, honestly. It really is, guys. Like, it's- And when people know you, it's a lot easier to network. Mm-hmm. But when you don't know anybody, it's difficult, and it's, it's like deer in the headlights. Oh my gosh, I gotta talk to people in order to network. Mm-hmm. I've gotta navigate different personalities in order to get my name out there. Mm-hmm. And it almost feels a little advertisey sometimes.

15:34 You know? You're, you're having to go from person to person. You're having to shake hands and, you start getting used to saying the same things over and over again. She's Pris, I'm Adam, and we are, uh, originally from Texas, south Texas. Uh, we are same room,, full swap." Mm-hmm. " But sometimes we like to play separately with people that we're comfortable with," that sort of thing. Now, you get used to saying the same thing over and over again. And you just say, you know, Adam is straight, Pris is bi. Yeah. Like, you throw it all out there. Um, you just, you do. It's, it's, it's details that people wanna know when they're talking to you. Um, it's really hard though, especially with the, with… We were talking about fake profiles earlier.

16:14 When y'all put, like, a little smiley face over your face, and then you post something like Looking to have, looking to make some friends. We don't know what you look like. Not that it matters, but it might matter Yeah. You might be related. So yeah. Um, so verify all your people. Find out where they're coming from. Yeah. You know, in, in situations like that, I would definitely, like, message that person and be like, "Well, can I see you first before I decide?" I wanna be your friend. Yeah. I do that. Of course, that, that would be rough because then they send a friend request. I do that. But you, you, you friend everybody. I do. I do. I'm a friendly guy.

16:54 You are very friendly. Uh, y- you know, I have this hard and fast rule that if I'm friended by somebody very quickly and they message me right away- They're fake they're fake. Yeah. And I- it's, I- You and I have gone through that … I've seen it so many times. You and I have talked to people, and then we're like, they wanna talk to us on WhatsApp, and we're talking, and then I text you on the side and I'm like, "They're fake." And you're like, "Give it a chance." I'm like- Yeah "They're fake." Seen it so many times. Yeah. Seen it so many times. And I don't really know what's the point. I think there's pic collectors out there. There's some people that just get off to talking to others. Yeah. Uh, but they don't wanna do so in their, in their regularity of the- their- Yeah … their self, you know?

17:36 Um- Catfishing. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, there's, there's all different reasons, I guess. It's so easy now, guys. So easy. Yeah. Like, it's not even, it's not even funny how freaking scary and easy it is to, to be a different person. Yeah. Yeah, really. I mean, that's the hard part is everything is online now. Mm-hmm. But it doesn't have to be. I mean, yeah, e- everything is online. If you go to SDC. Mm-hmm. That's the big one where they've got profiles, verifications, they do party listings, they do travel. And- Oh, yeah … all you have to do is find the people in your local area, and they post local events.

18:16 Mm-hmm. In-person events. Mm-hmm. Meet and greets uh, sexy bingo or whatever. You know, there's, there's all sorts of different events that are done in your area. And sometimes you can become a part of a group that maybe they'd want you to, uh, put, put something together. Yeah. We've had to put together a couple of events ourselves. And you can find a good community. There's also, if you just, if you just want something quicker and just something casual, none of that, you know, making friends, whatever, 3Fun. Yeah. 3Fun is good. Swipe left or right on that. I mean, we've made friends from there, but- That's true … that's very, um… there's couples and there's singles on there, and you can find something that you want. It's just a little quicker, I think. Yeah. You know, what's, what's really cool is that you can pair your profile with your spouse's profile.

19:00 Yes. Um, I know some people do couples profiles, but those are a little bit tough because you don't know who the hell you're talking to. Yeah. So when there's a couples profile, sometimes they'll put, oh, well, the wife mans this profile, or the husband mans this profile. Mm-hmm. So you're messaging, that's who you're talking to. Yeah. But a lot of people have couple profiles, and you have no idea who the fuck you're talking to. Yeah. Um, and I've had messages come at me and I'm like, "Is this the guy hitting on me or is this the girl hitting on me?" Yeah. I don't know. Um, so it's really nice to have the option of having two separate, uh- Yeah solo- Mm-hmm … profiles that you can attach- Mm-hmm … to each other as a couple, uh, and go from there.

19:41 I always liked that. Of course, there's the new one that we have, you know, which is uh, with Swing Tap. That's right. Swing Tap, that's right. Where is your little Swing Tap? No, I got my ring right here. There you go. Uh, if you haven't heard our, uh, Swing Tap plug that we do, uh, occasionally. It, it really is a, a… It's a brand-new community that's, that's started up. And essentially, you know, it's a matter of tapping your smartphone to a wearable or even scanning a QR code. Mm-hmm. And it brings up all of your, your built-in profile as well as all of your apps. It, it attaches your SDC and your- Everything. Yeah. It, it- Yeah … everything. Yeah. So that people can find you and communicate with you.

20:23 It's, it's r- it's like a… It's really kind of like a walking Rolodex. It's, it's cool. It really is. Yeah. It's really cool. Uh, and so yeah, that's, that's definitely the new one out there. And, uh, we'll be actually doing a show one of these days, uh, strictly on that because I'm really wanting to get into the details of it all. Good. And just kinda show it off- Yeah, we should … a little bit. Okay, wait. Before we go any further, FirmTech. We have to talk about FirmTech. Yes. Okay, so FirmTech makes the Tech Ring. Yeah, and here's the thing. It's not what you might think. Well, it kind of is, but it's so much more than that. Yeah. It's a wearable ring that helps with firmness and blood flow, and it actually connects to an app that tracks data.

21:07 Real data. Like, it tells you exactly what's going on. And there's actual clinical research behind it. This isn't some random gimmick. And then there's the Ring Mate. I saw this thing. It's an attachment that goes on the Tech Ring specifically for your partner's pleasure. Looks just like a tongue. Hey, so everybody wins. Everybody wins. It really is a whole situation. A good situation. A very good situation. Use code BEYOMONO at firmtech.co. That's B-E-Y-O-M-O-N-O and get 15% off. Okay, now where were we? Now, people, don't do what I do. Don't go on these apps, you find somebody, and then you say hi, and then that's the end of it.

21:50 I do that all the time. I swipe- Yeah … forever. That's just me and my brain. It's… Do I really wanna talk to somebody? No, I want him to do all the talking. Does somebody wanna jump in? Yeah. Um, so don't do that. Yeah. Like, have one of your, you know… Like Adam is really good at starting a conversation. Um, kind of feeling if I even am interested, and then it kinda goes on from there. So he answers every notification that we get. I think it's difficult for couples to h- to be able to both be actively in a conversation with another couple. Yeah. I have seen us do it so many times.

22:30 Yeah. And either I'm checked out or you're checked out. Yeah. If I'm checked out, then you're the one who's primarily talking. And it's very rare that you find us both having a conversation. Like- Yeah, it really is … I think the only ones we really, like, have conversations with back and forth, back and forth is the besties, if that. Yeah. Like, it's always, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's… Or, or you're talking to the wife, I'm talking to the husband, and then I talk to the wife later- Yeah from different conversations. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's… That's always the difficulty, you know? Yeah. Um, definitely know that a profile is not their personality. Yeah. So you, you're gonna see things that will interest you, but it's also an advertisement.

23:13 Yeah. Right? It, it's, it's something that's supposed to make them seem enticing to you. Yeah. That's not gonna be 100% what you're gonna find. They're gonna be real people, you know? Uh, so you just use that as a way to kinda see, "Okay. Well, maybe that's someone I'm interested in." Uh, I use profiles as a way to see who I'm not interested in, and what I mean by that is Certain, if they, if they even took the time to do a profile. Like, some, some people don't even fill anything out. Right. Some people are like, DM me to ask." Nah. You know? It's like, if, if you're gonna be lazy about it, I got no interest. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean?

23:54 Mm-hmm. Put something in there. I at least have a bio, guys. That's true. So look for red flags. Yeah. What are some red flags? If you are trying to be into a community and somebody's being really pushy, and that's not what you're looking for. You're not looking for, like, you know, a smash it, pass it. No. And you really want something, something like pushiness and, and single-word openers like, "Hello." I do that a lot. Those are red flags. Yeah, you do. Those are red flags, guys. Like- Those are totally red flags … you know, and you can look at it two different ways. Um, I have a lot of people that are always, always rushing to meet up with me. They're like, "Hey, can I take you out tonight?" Mm, no. Yeah. So things like that, that's a lot of, um- Very red flaggy things if you're, if you're looking to be really successful in the lifestyle, those are- Those are good to avoid those are Pris' red flags.

24:44 Those are good to avoid. I gotta do better. Yeah. I gotta do better. That's okay. That's okay. I'm sorry, people. Uh, you know, the, the pushiness, I, I used to… We used to deal with that from people, and I used to feel like, "Oh, okay, we have to go meet up with these people- Yeah … 'cause they're dying to go out and…" I finally learned, it's like, no, like, not everybody is entitled to your time. I think you just finally learned. It took me a while. Yeah. It's like, no- But it's like you're not entitled- … we're gonna be here … to my time. Yeah. We're gonna be here. We're gonna be there. Like, they can just come see us there. Yeah. Like, I, I, I need to really- Yeah … mental health is everything, man. Yes. Uh, and so it's one of those things where I had to learn how to say, "Okay, yeah, no, I'm sorry." You have to get used to telling people no.

25:29 Yes. Uh- I'm great at that. Yeah. He is not. I am not. But that's why I'm married to her. And if you have a partner, that's okay. Yeah, like- Yeah … I will be the no person. It's okay. Yeah. It's a give and take kinda thing. Uh, like I said, in, in messages, I'm usually the one who's more talkative than she is. Mm-hmm. Um, you find out what your balances are, your strengths and your weaknesses, and you go with it. Yeah. Uh, definitely look for clear couple photos. Uh, it drives me nuts when it's a couple's profile and they only show the woman. Same. No pictures of the man. I don't like that. Um, or vice versa. Yeah. Like, if you're a couple, there should be equal amounts of pictures- Yes … of both of you.

26:10 Mm-hmm. Um, I know that, uh, there's a lot of guys who are like, "Well, I don't need to show myself. Nobody cares what the guy looks like." Au contraire, mon frère. Uh, there's been a lot of, uh, times that we have swiped past somebody because, yeah, she's hot, but what does he look like? Yeah. You know? I wanna see both. Yeah. So, um, if you have local clubs, that is an easy way to find a community, but you have to be okay with approaching people. Yeah. And it's hard to have conversations- It is hard … in the club. It is. But, I mean, at least if you're gonna make an introduction, you can at least say, "Hi, I'm so and so," or, "Hi, we are so and so." Um- So you can find people there.

26:56 It's, but it, like Adam said, it is loud, so. I mean, what's good about it is most clubs have a host couple. Yes. And that host couple is there to take on new people- Mm-hmm … and show them around, and maybe introduce them to others. Mm-hmm. But it, like I said, it depends on what experience you have. Yeah. If you're going into a club, do you wanna have community or do you wanna have sex? Because if you wanna have sex, well, it's easy to meet a, uh, another couple and briefly talk to them and then go, "Hey, do you guys wanna play in the back?" Mm-hmm. Sure. Uh, but if you're looking to have long, fun conversations, and laugh, and all of this stuff, and get to know them, and s- w- the club's not the best place for this. Yeah, no. Because it's loud.

27:37 Yeah. And busy. It is. It is. It is. You're right. Um, e- even like our, our club, yeah, it is, it's a loud club. So you, the hostess couple does take you around to meet people- Yeah if you're interested in that. Yeah, for sure. Um, they do have newbie nights- Yeah … at some of the clubs, so. Which are normally on, on, like, a Wednesday. Sometimes, like, I, I don't know when, when Eden does it, but, like, I, I wanna say, uh, there's another club that does it, like, on a Thursday. Okay. They do, like, a newbie night. Yeah. Well, kink night at Eden was a newbie night too, wasn't it? Was it? I thought so. Oh, that would make sense. Yeah, I thought so. That would make sense. Yeah.

28:18 Obviously on a newbie night, uh, it's gonna be very thin. There's not gonna be a whole lot of people there. Right. The music will be less loud. Mm-hmm. So it would be easier to talk to people. You just need more people to talk to. Yeah. Uh, so the pickings might be a little bit slimmer. Um- But it's there … some places do have, um, some groups do sh- do, like, different socials and meet and greets. Yeah. Um, it's usually at a vanilla bar, so there's not, like, any type of naughtiness. Um, it's usually very low pressure, you know, nobody's taking their clothes off. It's great for you to meet people and connect with them. Yeah, yeah. It, it really is.

28:58 Build some kind of friendship. Um, it, it's… The good thing about meet and greets is, especially if, if they, if nobody knows you, nobody knows you. Yeah. So if you show up and you decide, "Oh, this is not my vibe," you turn around and you walk away. Nobody has an idea that you were even there. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't know how many times… We, we did that a few times. Like, we would show- Oh … up to a meet and greet, and we would see the people showing up, and we're like, "Ooh, this doesn't look like our crowd." And we would turn around and we'd walk away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, uh… But, you know, we also met some really awesome people at meet and greets. Yes. We have met so many people. Um, and a lot of times there's a lot of drinking going on at these meet and greets. Mm-hmm. But you can have conversations.

29:39 You can go do all sorts of stuff. You can- It's just usually a vanilla setting. Yeah, and you can follow it up with whatever. I've seen people go home with each other after a meet and greet. Yeah. Um- You can exchange phone numbers, get each other's information. Yeah. If you have a little swing top ringer wallet or watch, just tap it and get all their information immediately. Immediately. Yeah. Now, people always ask how we did it. Well, like, like I said, if you wanted to go the route that I went, then you're gonna go into your state, uh, your local state Facebook group. You're gonna look up Facebook group, uh, swinger groups for that state. And if, if they pop up, then that means they're public and you can join.

30:23 Then join. Mm-hmm. And then from there, see who's posting, maybe make a post yourself, and see who contacts you. Mm-hmm. And see who invites you into more private groups, more local private groups. And then from there, you know, you can start talking into whatever private groups that you have, start posting in there, start talking more, get to know the community that's online. Um, and then you'll find out where there's meet and greets and other opportunities to- Yeah … meet people. And you go out and you meet these people. And before you know it, you're seeing them often. You know, that's how it worked for us. That's how you get them. That's right. Hook, line and sinker. That's right.

31:04 And don't forget about, uh, takeovers, you know, uh- Event … stuff like that … travel. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Travel. There's a lot of traveling places. Hey, you know, there's a good place that, uh, people can meet swingers is- Hmm … Krazy Winter Nights in- We're gonna be there … Kansas City. We are gonna be there. We're gonna be there. Uh, that's three whole days. Mm-hmm. Lots of swingers. Like I said, we're gonna be there. Plenty of ways to dip your toes in. Yeah. Uh, y- you know. Ooh It's something to think about … there's a huge one that we're going to in July. Oh, yeah. That's Naughty N'Awlins. Naughty N'Awlins. We'll be there. That's definitely a place to be as well. Mm-hmm. And, and, you know, in places like that, you go over there, you're guaranteed to meet other swingers, 'cause there are literally takeovers- They have lots of meet- … for swingers … meet and greets.

31:46 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really is a lot of fun. Mm-hmm. Now, something that we haven't really done are cruises, but those are a great way to network and to meet others who are in the lifestyle. Mm-hmm. Uh, same thing with kink too. I believe there's kink cruises. Yeah. I think there is. And then of course you've got your education and community spaces, different workshops. A good example is the, uh, one we're doing at Forbidden Fruit on November 15th. Mm-hmm. Our Swinger 101 workshop. $20 a person. That's right. That's right. Light refreshments. You get to meet others, uh, while you're there. You know, I mean. What is light refreshments? You know? I don't know. Okay. Yeah. And then of course, uh, like I said, your online communities, Facebook groups, Reddit, uh, e- exists.

32:32 Eh. I wouldn't, I wouldn't. Maybe. I mean, yeah, no. I wouldn't. You might- I did … be able to get some questions answered there, but I would not- Yeah … join swinger groups there. Yeah. Yeah. There's also Discords, by the way. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There is. But like I said, all you gotta do is just go tap the Facebook communities on our website. There you go. And that's how you join ours. That's how you do it. That's right. Now, there are vanilla places you can meet people. True. I would, I would do that very lightly. Um, you just never know. Somebody accidentally threw their pineapple inside of the grocery basket, and it turned upside down. Doesn't mean they're swingers. Yeah. Somebody wearing pineapples all the time does not mean they're swingers.

33:14 They just may like pineapples. Yeah, yeah. So, um, tread lightly. Tread lightly. Yeah, yeah. So there you go, guys. There's apps, there's clubs, there's socials, there's events, there's workshops, and sometimes the yoga studio. Bendy. The lifestyle is closer than you think. You just have to know where to look. Yeah, and if you're starting with the apps, do it the smart way. Grab a profile on SDC with our code 38236, or try 3Fun with code TK11932 if you want something quicker or on the go. All of the links are in our show notes, as always. Yes. And if you wanna meet people in real life, come hang out with us.

33:56 Like my honey said, we're gonna be at Forbidden Fruit doing our Swinger 101 workshop on November 15th, and that's in Austin. And we're also going to be in Kansas City for Krazy Winter Nights, February 19th through the 21st. Use code BEYOMONO, B-E-Y-O-M-O-N-O, at krazykasbh.com. That's right. It'll get you a good little discount on those tickets. You can also catch us streaming on the radio on Full Swap Radio every Thursday at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central. And head over to our website, beyond-monogamy.com, for merch, every episode, our blogs, and our 100% anonymous confessional. If you don't know about it, you need to find out about it.

34:38 Join our community and tell us where you found your people or ask us anything about the lifestyle, ethical non-monogamy, kink, the show, and talk to our friends. We have a good community. And with that, we thank you all for joining us for another episode, and we will see you guys next week. Bye.