Lifestyle Brain: When Swinger Instincts Follow You Home

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All right, y'all.

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Before we dive in, a quick heads-up This
show is raw, real, and definitely not

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rated PG We're talking about adult themes,
sexual content, and the kinda stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through
your speakers at work or around your

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kids So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice, and get comfy Oh, and

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just so we're clear, we are not licensed
therapists, counselors, or sex couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches Not sex couches We're
just a couple of people sharing

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our lives, experiences, and sexy
adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a chair and
enjoy the show Hello, and welcome to

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another episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today we're talking about
something that happens to me

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more than I'd like to admit.

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I'm out running errands, okay?

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Just regular vanilla life.

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All right.

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And a woman smiles at me.

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She makes eye contact,

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maybe says something playful, and
my lifestyle brain lights right up.

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Like, I get all excited
like a little puppy dog.

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Yeah.

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My first instinct is to flirt
back the way I would at the club.

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And I have to catch myself and go,
"Hold on, Adam. This is a grocery

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store, not a takeover." Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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The grocery store is not
a meet and greet, babe.

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No.

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No.

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No, you can't do that
at the grocery store.

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You- So today we're digging into
what we're calling lifestyle brain.

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What happens when your swinger
instincts follow you into the real

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world, why it happens, and how easy
it is to misread those signals, and

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how we each flip the script back.

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Yeah.

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And before we get into it, if you
love the show, do us a huge favor.

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Hit like, subscribe, or follow wherever
you're listening, share this episode

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with that one lifestyle friend who
absolutely flirts with the barista.

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Yeah.

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You know who you are.

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And if you have 30
seconds, leave us a review.

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It's the single best thing that you can
do to help new people find our show.

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All right, let's get into it.

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So the reason why I was thinking about
this was for a very specific situation.

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Actually, I've had this
come up a few times.

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I have not had this come up at work.

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Okay.

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Because I don't shit where I
eat- Okay … for one thing.

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But I, I, I've had this come
up a few times when we've

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gone out to vanilla settings.

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I've had this happen at the grocery store.

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There's certain places that you and I go
to where some people know us- Yeah … for

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our show- Yeah … and for content.

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And, uh, you know, there's been some
attractive women, and I'm just like,

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my first thought if it's like the vibe
is kind of flirty a little bit- Yeah

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be like, "Hey, so how's
it going?" You know?

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I mean, I think flirting is fine,
but it's, you know, you do have

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to stop yourself and- Well, so you
think- You're- … flirting is fine.

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You're a woman.

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But in a vanilla world where a man is
walking hand-in-hand- Yeah … with

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his wife- No … flirting with
another woman- No … in the

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vanilla world is not necessarily- No

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the best of things.

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No.

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It's accepted in our community.

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Yeah.

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It's accepted at the- I mean,
I- … places that we go to.

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Yeah.

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It, overly friendly could be
looked as overly friendly.

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But yeah, if you're, if you're
holding my hand and flirting like mad.

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Yeah.

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You know, it's, it's really tough.

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Like I said, there, a couple of
these spots that we've gone to- Yeah

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they know who we are, and they
know- Yeah … what we do.

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Right.

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Um, now whether or not they're
in that world, I don't know.

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Mm-hmm.

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But they certainly do know.

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Yeah.

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And I don't know, that just, some
reason, uh, y- they call it code

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switching is what it's called.

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Okay.

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Where you're constantly having to go back
and forth between the two mental status.

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So- From, from swinging to regular?

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Code?

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Code what?

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Code switching.

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Just imagine everybody in
the lifestyle does that.

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Like, think about it 'cause you
have- I mean, not everybody if

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they're- Because you have to go to
work- … not discreet … and stuff.

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Yeah.

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But, like, if you have to go to work…
Well, I mean, still, you're kinda

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discreet, so you do that every day.

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I mean, I have to for the job.

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Because of your job.

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Y- you know, I, I'm not really, for
j- for my work, I'm not discreet,

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but I'm also not revealing either.

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You know what I'm saying?

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Okay.

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Okay.

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So these people are
not on my social media.

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Yeah.

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These people are not in my personal
life because I'm a big believer

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in this place particularly- Yeah
What I do on my personal time- Yeah

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is none of their business.

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Nobody needs, nobody needs to know.

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No, no.

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So I mean that, that's code switching.

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That is code switching.

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I didn't even know there's
a freaking word for that.

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It's a thing, man.

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But, and it's only for the lifestyle?

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Like the back and forth, like
it's not for anything else?

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I have no idea.

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I just know it's called code switching.

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I mean, shit, guys.

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I mean, what other lifestyle
would you need to do that at?

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No, I felt like, I felt like if you're
saying, say you're, I don't know, a

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a juggler or some shit and you don't
want your boss to know or something.

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I- Is that code switching?

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So I don't think that you'd lose your
job for being a juggler- No, but you know

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on your personal time.

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I, I'm pretty certain that being
a juggler on your personal time is

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not gonna- Do you know what I mean?

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Like- Like, custody judges aren't
gonna look at that and go- Or, or

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say- … "You're a juggler"- Or say,
like- "… you dirty bastard" … say

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like you're, you're working, like,
undercover or something, right, and

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you can't, like, reveal it to somebody.

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Yeah.

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Is that, like, code-
That's code switching.

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There you go.

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I was saying, like- That would be code
switching, yeah … it's not only, it's

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just when you're, when you're not living
your regular life all the time, I guess.

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Right.

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That would be called code switching.

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But you're kind of flipping
the switch back and forth.

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So see, I could still be a
juggler and not wanna tell nobody.

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Well, j- I mean, I have never
seen jugglers, uh, handle-

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Wow … discrimination before.

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So I mean, that's pretty awesome
because you literally have to

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not… Like, you have to be very
mindful of what you're doing.

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I'm pretty sure.

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And what you're saying and
how you're- I'm pretty sure.

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You know, d- to, to give a shout-out
to, uh, to our kinky bros friends,

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you know, Griff loves to wear
rubber under his regular clothes.

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Right.

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He calls it stealthing.

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But I, I don't believe he can
openly talk about it at where-

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wherever he works, you know?

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Right.

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So obviously stealthing is,
is gonna be a part of that.

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Um, but yeah, there's, th- there's
definitely code switching going on.

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Yeah.

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I mean, I, I get like that with women.

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Do you?

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Like, I wanna get really flirty with
them, but I really don't know how to

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flirt with women outside of the lifestyle.

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In the vanilla world?

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Yeah.

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Really?

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Like, in the vanilla world, I have
no idea how to flirt with women.

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I'm just an overly friendly person.

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I used to know, but I'm, of course,
that's when I used to drink and I used to

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just be like, "Eh, whatever." Well, you
know, there was a very, very extremely

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philosophical conversation I once had with
somebody about what exactly is flirting.

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And, and, and you know, the, the, the
thing about it is, is what is flirting?

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Yeah.

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Flirting is normally just being
friendly but with an intention.

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Okay.

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Being overly friendly but
with an actual intention.

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Okay.

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What's that intention?

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Well, maybe it's to make out later.

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Maybe it's- Or maybe just go out.

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Like- M- maybe.

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I mean- Whatever intention it is.

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Whatever- Like, name your
intention … whatever that… Yeah,

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as long as you have that intention.

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That's, that's essentially
what flirting is.

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So I don't know.

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I think flirting, I've always been
a big believer in flirting is okay,

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even when we were not in non-monogamy.

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Yeah.

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I was always told that I was a big
flirt even though I didn't think so.

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I was just- You're very charming.

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You're a charmer.

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Well, I don't know what that means.

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You're very, you're friendly.

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You're, it's just another way
of saying- Right, I'm just

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friendly … you're just friendly.

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Now, you can be a little flirty.

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Sometimes you, you…
Sometimes it depends.

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So, like, we can be at HEB and you're
like, "Oh, man, that, that, that's a

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badass shirt," or something, or, "I
like your shoes," and it's not flirty.

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Then sometimes- I always feel
like, ooh, is he gonna be,

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be like that kind of flirty?

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If he's that kind of flirty, women
are gonna be creeped out- Well-

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at a vanilla place … and so
I- And you're not … and that's

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really- You're not … why I, I
try to keep it on a back burner.

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You're, you're not- I try to keep
things respectful … yeah, you're

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not a creepy- No … creepy flirter.

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No, I really try not to be.

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You know, whenever I flirt, I, it,
it all depends on, on comfort levels.

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So if you're… You can kinda tell
people's comfort levels- Yeah … and

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what they're open to or what they're
not open to just off of body language.

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Yeah.

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Uh, so most of the time, depending on how
they, uh, you know, conduct themselves,

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if they're a little bit looser, if
they're aiming towards you a little

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bit more, there's more eye contact,
there's more smile, you can kinda gauge,

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you know, just how flirty you can be.

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Yeah.

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And even then, I kinda dial it back just a
little bit because I don't wanna embarrass

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myself any more than I normally do.

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Uh, so, and you know, I, I don't feel
like I'm a good flirt, but 2025 was

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the, uh, start of confident Adam.

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Yes.

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And I had to fake it.

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We are all aware.

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I had to fake it- Yes

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in order to make it.

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Yes.

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And am I better at, at flirting now?

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I think it's about the same, but
now I am more in tune with it.

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I will tell you, I like flirting with
women more than I like flirting with men.

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Really?

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Is that because it's more difficult?

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I guess I don't have to… You
don't… For men, I just think

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I don't have to work so hard.

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Shooting fish in a barrel.

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Shooting fish in a barrel.

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Yeah.

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It's easy.

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See.

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If I just- See … smile, it's
like, mm, that's, that's, you know.

240
00:09:28,732 --> 00:09:31,213
Now, I'm not… I'm just saying,
like, every woman, not like-

241
00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:31,545
it's easy.

242
00:09:31,564 --> 00:09:32,708
Especially if you're a woman.

243
00:09:32,759 --> 00:09:33,147
Yeah.

244
00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:33,515
Yeah.

245
00:09:33,596 --> 00:09:34,450
It's just easy.

246
00:09:34,921 --> 00:09:35,276
You know?

247
00:09:35,297 --> 00:09:36,820
But I don't know.

248
00:09:37,065 --> 00:09:40,008
Women are, women are hard
to figure out sometimes.

249
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:44,738
So it's hard to… Because we can either
find you creepy- Yeah … or you're

250
00:09:44,738 --> 00:09:48,136
gonna say something that's gonna…
Maybe you caught us in a, in a really

251
00:09:48,137 --> 00:09:49,254
bad mood, and we're like- Mm-hmm

252
00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:53,584
"Yeah, we don't, I don't need you to,
you know, do this and that." Yeah.

253
00:09:53,584 --> 00:09:56,367
So it, I mean, it does,
it's, it is very hard.

254
00:09:57,218 --> 00:09:58,280
It- It's hard for you guys.

255
00:09:58,313 --> 00:09:58,843
It is.

256
00:09:58,853 --> 00:09:59,215
It is.

257
00:09:59,237 --> 00:10:02,385
But, you know- We don't make it easy
… it's, it's hard, and sometimes it's easy.

258
00:10:02,658 --> 00:10:03,231
It depends on the person.

259
00:10:03,231 --> 00:10:05,288
Now, a- and so, like,
I'll give you an example.

260
00:10:05,437 --> 00:10:09,080
Last weekend, we went to a, a, a spot.

261
00:10:09,228 --> 00:10:10,522
It is like a flea market.

262
00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:10,759
Mm-hmm.

263
00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:11,778
But it is not a flea market.

264
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:11,884
Mm-hmm.

265
00:10:11,980 --> 00:10:12,988
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

266
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,897
And we were there, and there
was some attractive women.

267
00:10:16,008 --> 00:10:20,782
And, uh, you know, I found myself kind
of being flirty with a couple of them.

268
00:10:20,959 --> 00:10:23,726
Like, I, there was, there was one I
was being flirty with, and then when

269
00:10:23,727 --> 00:10:28,278
we were leaving, this one girl made eye
contact, and I made eye contact with her.

270
00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:31,689
And I remember just turning around
and going, "Hey, how you doing?" And

271
00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:33,410
it just kinda spurned from there.

272
00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:33,834
Yeah.

273
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:34,761
And we were on the way out.

274
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:35,114
Yeah.

275
00:10:35,237 --> 00:10:36,331
I was like, "Yeah, he
doesn't wanna buy anything."

276
00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:39,909
But we, uh- And so- … you
know, it's one of those things

277
00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:44,471
where it's like I initially was
going… Like, any other time- Yeah

278
00:10:44,719 --> 00:10:48,823
when we're in our- Yeah … lifestyle
environment- Right … I would've

279
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:52,151
immediately been bee-lined right over
there- Yeah … and talking to her.

280
00:10:52,159 --> 00:10:52,459
Yeah.

281
00:10:52,677 --> 00:10:56,026
But I had to remind
myself, this is not that.

282
00:10:56,376 --> 00:10:56,616
Yeah.

283
00:10:56,618 --> 00:10:57,060
You know?

284
00:10:57,327 --> 00:11:02,276
And I catch myself having to put myself
in check before I act a certain way.

285
00:11:03,154 --> 00:11:03,514
Yeah.

286
00:11:04,292 --> 00:11:06,066
I mean- You've never had to do that?

287
00:11:06,674 --> 00:11:07,409
No.

288
00:11:08,096 --> 00:11:08,188
Wow.

289
00:11:08,192 --> 00:11:10,202
I'm not- I don't think
you're very flirty, actually.

290
00:11:10,266 --> 00:11:11,761
I'm not very flirty.

291
00:11:11,762 --> 00:11:13,709
I'm not- You're not a flirty
person … I mean, I used to be.

292
00:11:13,845 --> 00:11:16,000
Yeah, you were when we got together-
I just- … you were flirty … I

293
00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:22,119
think I always, I have so much on my
mind all the time that to get in that

294
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,914
mode takes a lot for me right now.

295
00:11:24,981 --> 00:11:25,285
Yeah.

296
00:11:25,403 --> 00:11:27,826
Like, for me now, it just takes a lot.

297
00:11:27,836 --> 00:11:31,937
Like, I have to remind myself
that I can loosen up and be,

298
00:11:31,948 --> 00:11:33,460
you know, just be myself.

299
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:38,982
That's so funny that- It's hard … it's,
it's hard for you to enjoy the off

300
00:11:39,012 --> 00:11:42,026
time or the lifestyle time because
you have so much on your mind.

301
00:11:42,028 --> 00:11:42,636
Yes.

302
00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:48,449
And for me, the lifestyle is what gets
me out of having so much on my mind.

303
00:11:48,449 --> 00:11:48,805
Yeah.

304
00:11:48,824 --> 00:11:52,743
I can actually enjoy myself- Yeah … not
think about what- Well, that's ADHD brain.

305
00:11:52,892 --> 00:11:54,724
So, like, I'm constantly on.

306
00:11:54,726 --> 00:11:56,670
I'm constantly thinking of something.

307
00:11:56,671 --> 00:12:02,625
So- I c- I, if, if I flirt, it's
very rare and it's intentional.

308
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:03,243
Yeah.

309
00:12:03,386 --> 00:12:03,851
Yeah.

310
00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:07,939
Like- Hmm … I try to flirt sometimes
when- Yeah … we're out and about.

311
00:12:08,165 --> 00:12:09,980
It doesn't come naturally to me.

312
00:12:10,309 --> 00:12:16,656
You know what's funny is it seems
like You get flirted with more in

313
00:12:16,657 --> 00:12:19,976
the vanilla world- Yeah … than
you do in the lifestyle world.

314
00:12:19,976 --> 00:12:20,708
Yeah, for sure.

315
00:12:21,085 --> 00:12:23,752
Which I think is so- For
sure … fucking weird.

316
00:12:23,781 --> 00:12:24,902
I, I get… Yeah.

317
00:12:25,059 --> 00:12:25,683
Why is that?

318
00:12:25,683 --> 00:12:27,289
That, that happens a lot.

319
00:12:27,308 --> 00:12:29,895
And I- People in the lifestyle
are afraid to flirt with you.

320
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,730
People in the vanilla world are
like, "Hey, how's it going?"

321
00:12:32,730 --> 00:12:34,070
It's like, motherfucker.

322
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,220
What?

323
00:12:35,281 --> 00:12:35,504
Yeah.

324
00:12:35,871 --> 00:12:36,804
You know we're married.

325
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,249
I mean, we're
non-monogamous, but fuck off.

326
00:12:39,251 --> 00:12:39,841
You don't know that.

327
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:40,394
Do you know that?

328
00:12:40,394 --> 00:12:43,570
You know, I think, and hon- honestly
now that you say that, it's probably

329
00:12:43,579 --> 00:12:47,302
also my monogamous brain clicks on.

330
00:12:47,938 --> 00:12:47,951
Mm-hmm.

331
00:12:47,951 --> 00:12:50,743
And it's like, stay in your lane.

332
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:50,992
Like- Yeah

333
00:12:50,992 --> 00:12:53,828
don't cause… And that's
because you don't even care.

334
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:54,507
No, I really don't.

335
00:12:54,519 --> 00:12:55,777
You're not that person.

336
00:12:55,837 --> 00:12:56,329
No, no.

337
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:57,662
I am more that person.

338
00:12:57,662 --> 00:13:00,152
I am like, "Catch me in a good mood-
Oh, man. Yeah … when you bust out

339
00:13:00,152 --> 00:13:02,143
your little charminess." Oh my God.

340
00:13:02,223 --> 00:13:04,215
Like- I can't, I can't do that.

341
00:13:04,237 --> 00:13:08,078
Like, I mean, I know how to wrangle
you back in, 'cause I'll just, I'll…

342
00:13:08,227 --> 00:13:10,049
I mean, we went to that bop bar-
You literally pulled me away … and

343
00:13:10,049 --> 00:13:12,015
I'm like, "Yeah, no, he doesn't want
anything. Thanks." And we walked out.

344
00:13:12,217 --> 00:13:14,481
Like, time and- I didn't
get a chance to talk to her.

345
00:13:14,719 --> 00:13:15,248
Time and place.

346
00:13:15,732 --> 00:13:17,183
For me, it's really time and place.

347
00:13:17,204 --> 00:13:20,792
Like, if you're… Like, I know how
you are, so I really don't care.

348
00:13:20,792 --> 00:13:21,254
You flirt.

349
00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,558
You just, you're just a friendly person.

350
00:13:23,935 --> 00:13:27,340
Sometimes it can be a little too
friendly, but I'm not insecure.

351
00:13:28,185 --> 00:13:28,290
Yeah.

352
00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:28,381
You know?

353
00:13:28,385 --> 00:13:28,643
Yeah.

354
00:13:28,647 --> 00:13:32,543
So like if it's a hot woman and you're
flirting with her, I'm like, "Cool." Cool.

355
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:33,070
You know?

356
00:13:33,071 --> 00:13:36,999
It's like, "Mm, great." That didn't
sound like an actual cool or great.

357
00:13:36,999 --> 00:13:39,082
Well, if it's in the vanilla world,
you're not gonna go home with her.

358
00:13:39,204 --> 00:13:39,626
Yeah.

359
00:13:39,628 --> 00:13:41,862
Well, I mean- Like, you're not
gonna dump me there and be like,

360
00:13:41,877 --> 00:13:43,038
"Oh, I'm taking this one." No.

361
00:13:43,054 --> 00:13:43,231
No.

362
00:13:43,232 --> 00:13:45,284
I wouldn't do that in
the, in the lifestyle.

363
00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:45,314
In the lifestyle.

364
00:13:45,314 --> 00:13:45,883
But you know what I mean?

365
00:13:45,883 --> 00:13:47,474
Like, I'm not insecure about that.

366
00:13:47,475 --> 00:13:49,334
So I let you… Sorry, guys.

367
00:13:49,592 --> 00:13:51,334
I, I let you just be yourself.

368
00:13:51,344 --> 00:13:57,454
You're, you're just a fun, you're a fun,
bubbly person, and you're just charming.

369
00:13:58,157 --> 00:14:01,645
You know, I, I am, I am one of
those that I'm smiling all the time.

370
00:14:01,653 --> 00:14:01,874
Yeah.

371
00:14:01,886 --> 00:14:03,832
I make eye contact with-
Yeah … everybody.

372
00:14:04,151 --> 00:14:06,507
I try to treat- I do the
same … everybody the same way.

373
00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:07,754
Yeah, yeah.

374
00:14:07,932 --> 00:14:11,706
You do too, but- I'm pretty sociably-
But when you're, when you're annoyed,

375
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:14,817
it's obvious When I'm annoyed,
and which is a lot of the time.

376
00:14:14,817 --> 00:14:18,209
But when- Which is a lot of the time
… when I go into the store, it's so funny.

377
00:14:18,752 --> 00:14:23,441
And I will tell you this, when I'm by
myself, I am resting bitch face, do not

378
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,903
talk to me, don't fuck with me person.

379
00:14:25,919 --> 00:14:26,388
That's true.

380
00:14:26,536 --> 00:14:29,795
Because as a woman, I'm always
looking at my surroundings.

381
00:14:29,808 --> 00:14:30,177
Yeah.

382
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:30,771
So it changes.

383
00:14:30,771 --> 00:14:32,470
So you gotta give off that
don't fuck with me look.

384
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:36,627
I, I always give that don't fuck with
me face, and I always have to remember

385
00:14:36,629 --> 00:14:40,907
and remind myself, "You can calm down.
You're inside of the grocery store." Yeah.

386
00:14:40,907 --> 00:14:43,117
And trust me, ain't nobody
trying to steal your ass.

387
00:14:43,117 --> 00:14:44,138
Nobody's trying to steal me.

388
00:14:44,155 --> 00:14:44,564
No.

389
00:14:44,564 --> 00:14:44,574
No.

390
00:14:44,737 --> 00:14:48,045
Because even when you're smiling, you
look like you could knock somebody out.

391
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:52,435
And so when I, when I'm with you, I
do get a little more flirty because

392
00:14:52,435 --> 00:14:54,919
I know you're there, and it's hot.

393
00:14:55,076 --> 00:14:55,548
Yeah.

394
00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:57,552
But not excessively.

395
00:14:57,587 --> 00:14:59,397
Not an, not an excessive way.

396
00:15:00,004 --> 00:15:04,272
You know, I, I will, um- I'll talk to
just about anybody wherever we're at.

397
00:15:04,272 --> 00:15:04,765
Yeah.

398
00:15:04,823 --> 00:15:08,888
And I'll make little jokes and I'll, I'll,
you know, try and, try and bring people in

399
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:10,466
even if they're just passing in like- Yes

400
00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:11,262
a grocery aisle.

401
00:15:11,273 --> 00:15:12,003
Yes, you do.

402
00:15:12,015 --> 00:15:13,311
It's, it's fun.

403
00:15:13,736 --> 00:15:17,007
It, it kind of calms down the tension.

404
00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:19,764
'Cause I always have anxiety when we
go to places that are real packed,

405
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:22,121
like- And so your thing is- … like
HEB … I'm gonna talk to everybody.

406
00:15:22,784 --> 00:15:23,198
Yeah.

407
00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:25,203
Because it, it chills me out.

408
00:15:25,296 --> 00:15:26,197
It chills me out.

409
00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:30,240
If I feel more comfortable if it,
these aren't strangers that are- Yeah

410
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:33,978
around me, and occasionally we'll see
each other down the aisle and we'll laugh

411
00:15:33,978 --> 00:15:39,089
about something- Yeah … then it's easier
for me to not be so anxious at the store.

412
00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:39,935
I mean, I get that.

413
00:15:39,945 --> 00:15:40,128
Yeah.

414
00:15:40,152 --> 00:15:43,883
Because it's, I already have anxiety,
A, because there's a lot of people

415
00:15:43,884 --> 00:15:47,620
there, and B, because everything's
expensive and we don't have money.

416
00:15:47,651 --> 00:15:50,057
So there's a lot of anxiety there.

417
00:15:50,057 --> 00:15:50,067
Yeah.

418
00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:55,820
So I feel like if I can just kind of break
that any way that I can, it's, it's nice.

419
00:15:55,842 --> 00:16:00,975
Now, I have, at the store, I've
gotten some googly eyes before.

420
00:16:01,010 --> 00:16:01,562
Oh, yeah.

421
00:16:01,687 --> 00:16:05,501
And I, I always have to sit back
and go, "Is there somebody behind

422
00:16:05,501 --> 00:16:06,689
me that they're looking at?" Yeah.

423
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:06,719
Who was that?

424
00:16:07,055 --> 00:16:09,367
Oh, I've seen them give you googly
eyes and I'm like, "Yeah, no.

425
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:09,378
What?

426
00:16:09,378 --> 00:16:10,056
Time and place.

427
00:16:10,306 --> 00:16:13,581
Sorry." What? You see, that's so rough-
… 'cause you tell me time and place,

428
00:16:13,584 --> 00:16:15,137
and I'm like, "I didn't do anything.

429
00:16:15,603 --> 00:16:17,722
I'm just sitting here." With a dimple.

430
00:16:18,014 --> 00:16:19,698
I can't help who I am, honey.

431
00:16:19,698 --> 00:16:20,194
Put it away.

432
00:16:21,204 --> 00:16:21,709
There you go.

433
00:16:21,758 --> 00:16:22,335
I have it.

434
00:16:22,391 --> 00:16:23,047
It's here.

435
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:23,663
Yeah.

436
00:16:23,665 --> 00:16:25,037
And it's here for the world.

437
00:16:25,531 --> 00:16:26,029
That's right.

438
00:16:26,369 --> 00:16:27,703
Hey, what about your dimple?

439
00:16:27,703 --> 00:16:30,666
You're frigging hot and then you show
the dimple, and what does everybody say?

440
00:16:30,674 --> 00:16:33,702
"Oh, you know, you have such a great
dimple." And then they message me

441
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:36,404
and they're like, "You got a fucking
hot wife." I'm like, "Yeah, I know.

442
00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:39,480
Thank you for telling
me." But I don't flirt.

443
00:16:39,768 --> 00:16:40,678
That's just a dimple.

444
00:16:40,928 --> 00:16:41,323
Yeah.

445
00:16:41,324 --> 00:16:44,175
You don't flirt, but you know how-
It's just- You know how to flash that.

446
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:45,533
You know how to flash that.

447
00:16:45,533 --> 00:16:45,801
Yeah.

448
00:16:46,116 --> 00:16:46,375
See?

449
00:16:46,493 --> 00:16:46,788
See?

450
00:16:46,801 --> 00:16:48,247
And you're flirting with me right now.

451
00:16:48,705 --> 00:16:49,956
I like flirting with you.

452
00:16:49,973 --> 00:16:50,621
Yeah.

453
00:16:50,703 --> 00:16:54,721
Well, you know, I, I, I was curious
if this was something that we shared

454
00:16:54,721 --> 00:16:59,267
or not because- Yeah … I have found
myself on a few occasions having to sit

455
00:16:59,270 --> 00:17:03,482
back and go, "Okay, calm yourself, man,
'cause this is not, this is not that.

456
00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:05,467
This is not that kind
of setting." Yeah, yeah.

457
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:09,327
You know, we, we go to the club so often
and we go to e- events all the time.

458
00:17:09,327 --> 00:17:12,859
And because of this podcast and
the things that we do, we're

459
00:17:12,954 --> 00:17:15,054
in the community quite a bit.

460
00:17:15,091 --> 00:17:15,521
Yeah.

461
00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:20,342
And when you're used to this sort
of- Of course … fluidity, this,

462
00:17:20,385 --> 00:17:24,701
this kind of laid back flirting
with everybody kind of feel- Mm-hmm

463
00:17:24,701 --> 00:17:27,027
it's a very comfortable feel.

464
00:17:27,057 --> 00:17:28,208
And it just comes naturally.

465
00:17:28,222 --> 00:17:28,954
It comes naturally.

466
00:17:28,957 --> 00:17:29,304
Yeah.

467
00:17:29,576 --> 00:17:31,815
And you feel like, "I can
do it anywhere." Yeah.

468
00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:35,745
And then as, as a guy, I have to remind
myself, well, I shouldn't do it anywhere.

469
00:17:35,746 --> 00:17:38,344
I mean, I think you're, I
think when you do it, you, you

470
00:17:38,344 --> 00:17:39,673
don't do it in a creepy way.

471
00:17:39,675 --> 00:17:42,530
And if you were excessive about
it, I would tell you, "Hey,

472
00:17:42,531 --> 00:17:43,723
that was a little excessive."

473
00:17:43,787 --> 00:17:44,185
Yeah.

474
00:17:44,251 --> 00:17:44,718
Yeah.

475
00:17:44,718 --> 00:17:44,728
Yeah.

476
00:17:44,737 --> 00:17:47,214
Well, thankfully I haven't
reached that point at all.

477
00:17:47,214 --> 00:17:50,298
But you bring up an interesting
fact because I know that there's,

478
00:17:50,975 --> 00:17:53,520
I know that there's plenty of guys
that are listening to this right now

479
00:17:53,529 --> 00:17:57,319
going What is, what is a creepy way?

480
00:17:57,373 --> 00:17:58,646
Well, how would you define that?

481
00:17:58,649 --> 00:18:06,475
So, if I go to the store, and if, if a guy
is just staring at me, like, just turns

482
00:18:06,475 --> 00:18:10,217
around, he's in his basket or, you know,
pushing his basket, and he just turns

483
00:18:10,217 --> 00:18:12,720
around, and he's just staring at me- Yeah

484
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:16,520
watching me for a while,
like, you know, a few seconds.

485
00:18:16,552 --> 00:18:16,828
Yeah.

486
00:18:16,910 --> 00:18:19,983
And then I get up, or I'm, like,
walking towards him, and he's still

487
00:18:19,983 --> 00:18:22,331
staring at me, and then he says hi.

488
00:18:22,381 --> 00:18:23,053
That's creepy.

489
00:18:23,165 --> 00:18:23,597
Okay.

490
00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:24,251
Okay.

491
00:18:24,290 --> 00:18:25,153
Don't stare too long.

492
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:26,009
That's creepy.

493
00:18:26,291 --> 00:18:29,536
And giving a good compliment
is always nice, but you gotta

494
00:18:29,536 --> 00:18:30,954
know what you're complimenting.

495
00:18:31,546 --> 00:18:32,237
So- What do you mean?

496
00:18:32,252 --> 00:18:34,119
… I've gotten compliments on my hair, right?

497
00:18:34,171 --> 00:18:34,435
Okay.

498
00:18:34,478 --> 00:18:37,375
You know, it's like, "Hey, you
have really cool hair." Tattoos,

499
00:18:37,378 --> 00:18:38,427
I hear- Yeah … all the time.

500
00:18:38,427 --> 00:18:39,425
Um, tattoos.

501
00:18:39,431 --> 00:18:39,587
Yeah.

502
00:18:39,606 --> 00:18:43,660
"You have really cool tattoos."
That's, those are nice and friendly.

503
00:18:43,661 --> 00:18:46,096
Now, if somebody were to say, "Hey,
I like your shirt," well, I know

504
00:18:46,097 --> 00:18:47,577
you're just looking at my boobs.

505
00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:48,226
Like, give me a break.

506
00:18:48,268 --> 00:18:50,702
My shirt's all stained, you know?

507
00:18:50,717 --> 00:18:54,084
Or, "I like your shoes." I'm
wearing Crocs or something.

508
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:54,882
Nah, dude.

509
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:57,015
Like, it has to be meaningful.

510
00:18:57,447 --> 00:18:58,599
So that makes sense.

511
00:18:58,922 --> 00:19:04,932
Uh, I find whenever I flirt with
somebody, I try to make it as safe of a

512
00:19:04,973 --> 00:19:07,679
compliment or safe of a flirt as possible.

513
00:19:07,706 --> 00:19:08,051
Yeah, yeah.

514
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,347
Uh, so when I compliment a woman- I ha-

515
00:19:10,347 --> 00:19:11,739
I, I, I, I try to keep it safe.

516
00:19:11,798 --> 00:19:12,868
I have a question now.

517
00:19:13,051 --> 00:19:13,645
Ask away.

518
00:19:13,668 --> 00:19:18,204
When you compliment or when you flirt-
Mm … and you compliment people- Mm,

519
00:19:18,204 --> 00:19:19,787
mm-hmm … you do it to a lot of people.

520
00:19:19,928 --> 00:19:20,407
Yeah.

521
00:19:20,502 --> 00:19:23,622
S- how do you know they're
not taking it a different way?

522
00:19:24,101 --> 00:19:24,832
Like, say- What do you mean?

523
00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:28,438
… are you flirting just to flirt, or
are you flirting with an intention?

524
00:19:28,517 --> 00:19:32,735
Well, so that's the, that's the
part of it, is that… I feel like

525
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:34,098
you're flirting with an intention.

526
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,750
If I'm flirting with a woman, I'm
always flirting with an intention.

527
00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:37,147
Yeah.

528
00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:39,778
But what if you're flirting
with the person that you're

529
00:19:39,781 --> 00:19:41,218
really not interested in?

530
00:19:41,587 --> 00:19:44,738
You have to, like- Well, so- … be aware
… that's the thing, is that's wh- that's

531
00:19:44,743 --> 00:19:48,722
why I say I try to compliment safely.

532
00:19:49,317 --> 00:19:49,908
Safely.

533
00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:55,297
Because I can compliment a person,
and if they take it as a flirt, but

534
00:19:55,326 --> 00:19:59,602
I'm not flirting with intention, I'm
just being friendly and complimentary.

535
00:19:59,614 --> 00:19:59,748
Mm-hmm.

536
00:19:59,748 --> 00:20:04,171
Mm. You know, it's a safe flirt
to where it's kinda questionable.

537
00:20:04,332 --> 00:20:04,994
And I- You know what I mean?

538
00:20:05,054 --> 00:20:06,323
Yeah, yeah.

539
00:20:06,541 --> 00:20:07,127
That makes sense.

540
00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:07,408
Yeah.

541
00:20:07,429 --> 00:20:12,226
I think a lot of guys also think when
women are nice that they're flirting.

542
00:20:12,357 --> 00:20:13,211
All the time.

543
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,500
'Cause I've heard you say- All the
time … "Was she flirting?" And I'm like,

544
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,055
"No, I think she was just nice." Yeah.

545
00:20:17,093 --> 00:20:19,399
Yeah, so I, I- Yeah, well,
I mean, like, strippers.

546
00:20:19,727 --> 00:20:23,425
Like, l- there's not a moment
where a single guy has ever had

547
00:20:23,446 --> 00:20:27,630
at least one moment where he was
like, "That stripper liked me." No.

548
00:20:27,869 --> 00:20:28,255
No.

549
00:20:28,285 --> 00:20:28,694
She didn't.

550
00:20:28,783 --> 00:20:29,418
She did not.

551
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,442
She liked your money.

552
00:20:30,461 --> 00:20:31,431
She liked your money.

553
00:20:32,015 --> 00:20:32,539
She liked your money.

554
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:33,723
I mean, they're there for a goal.

555
00:20:33,723 --> 00:20:34,124
It's a reason.

556
00:20:34,125 --> 00:20:34,723
Yeah, it is.

557
00:20:34,723 --> 00:20:34,938
It's a job.

558
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,076
It's a sales job.

559
00:20:36,076 --> 00:20:36,106
It's a job.

560
00:20:36,106 --> 00:20:36,974
Yeah, it is what it is.

561
00:20:36,988 --> 00:20:40,277
But, uh, yeah, that's,
that's kind of a thing.

562
00:20:40,311 --> 00:20:42,397
Every now and then I will question that.

563
00:20:42,424 --> 00:20:42,864
Yeah.

564
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,479
It's like, "Oh." Yeah.

565
00:20:44,769 --> 00:20:48,413
And I think a lot of men feel
like women are flirting with

566
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,821
them when they're not at all.

567
00:20:49,887 --> 00:20:50,234
Yeah?

568
00:20:50,427 --> 00:20:55,921
Like- I can smile at somebody and they
can probably think it's a flirt, and it's

569
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,037
like, "No, I just like to smile." Uh-huh.

570
00:20:58,115 --> 00:20:58,469
You know?

571
00:20:58,473 --> 00:20:59,738
Or I'm just relaxing my face.

572
00:21:00,284 --> 00:21:03,560
Or- Well, so I come off flirty,
but what I've realized is now as

573
00:21:03,561 --> 00:21:05,985
an adult, is that this is my…

574
00:21:06,006 --> 00:21:07,573
This has always been my personality.

575
00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:07,595
Mm-hmm.

576
00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:08,124
This is me.

577
00:21:08,124 --> 00:21:08,972
This is who I am.

578
00:21:08,979 --> 00:21:14,996
Mm. For years, I have spent, because
of self-confident issues- Right … or

579
00:21:14,996 --> 00:21:19,093
lack thereof- Right … I've spent
all of these years hiding that.

580
00:21:19,458 --> 00:21:19,808
Right.

581
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:20,233
Okay.

582
00:21:20,306 --> 00:21:24,935
I, I spent years not making eye contact-
Mm … not looking at, in people's

583
00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:29,222
directions when I would talk to them,
uh, not speaking very clearly, you know,

584
00:21:29,223 --> 00:21:31,318
holding my posture in a way, you know?

585
00:21:31,462 --> 00:21:35,522
This, a- all of these things that,
because I had low self-esteem.

586
00:21:35,589 --> 00:21:36,124
Yeah.

587
00:21:36,124 --> 00:21:36,134
Yeah.

588
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:41,031
Uh, and so when I kind of brought that
up- Mm-hmm … and I started feeling

589
00:21:41,038 --> 00:21:46,387
better about myself, it became a little
bit easier to be the person that I feel

590
00:21:46,422 --> 00:21:51,001
I am naturally, which is just a very
friendly- Yeah … semi-flirty person.

591
00:21:51,008 --> 00:21:51,281
Yeah.

592
00:21:51,281 --> 00:21:51,480
You know?

593
00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:55,220
Um- When I'm relaxed, I'm pretty
friendly and flirty, but- Yeah … yeah.

594
00:21:55,419 --> 00:21:56,556
You really have to be in the mood for it.

595
00:21:56,557 --> 00:21:58,158
I totally have to be in the mood.

596
00:21:58,390 --> 00:21:58,400
Yeah.

597
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,698
Like, it's just not my- It's not a
part of your personality anymore, huh?

598
00:22:01,067 --> 00:22:02,318
'Cause it used to be when we were dating.

599
00:22:02,318 --> 00:22:02,751
It used to be.

600
00:22:02,751 --> 00:22:03,289
Boy.

601
00:22:03,507 --> 00:22:05,474
I didn't have a lot of stress, I guess.

602
00:22:05,474 --> 00:22:06,101
Girl.

603
00:22:06,163 --> 00:22:10,576
Shoot, I saw you walk around that bar
back when we were dating- Yeah, I was

604
00:22:10,577 --> 00:22:13,319
stressed … and I was like- I was
not stressed about anything … "Is

605
00:22:13,319 --> 00:22:16,352
this what I want?" "This what I want?

606
00:22:16,508 --> 00:22:19,666
Little bee pollinator, hitting
up all these different flowers?

607
00:22:20,485 --> 00:22:22,508
This is what I want?"
Yes, it, it- Yes, it is.

608
00:22:22,533 --> 00:22:22,986
… it is what I want.

609
00:22:22,986 --> 00:22:24,634
It's, it's what I still want, apparently.

610
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:25,410
It's what I want.

611
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:25,933
I didn't get, apparently.

612
00:22:27,116 --> 00:22:32,476
I, I mean, I think a lot of things- I
think a lot of things change in women-

613
00:22:32,573 --> 00:22:36,292
Mm … as they get older, and it's just,
you know, I don't have time for nonsense.

614
00:22:36,302 --> 00:22:39,156
I don't have time for… I don't have
a lot of time for, for the fun parts.

615
00:22:39,205 --> 00:22:42,014
It's, I'll get it when I get
it, and I'll do it when I do it.

616
00:22:42,141 --> 00:22:42,444
Yeah.

617
00:22:42,539 --> 00:22:46,460
But for me, it's probably a
lot of just hormone issues.

618
00:22:46,463 --> 00:22:48,554
I'm just not… I get that.

619
00:22:48,554 --> 00:22:48,692
You know?

620
00:22:48,711 --> 00:22:51,345
All right, real quick, hold
up your hand for a second.

621
00:22:52,143 --> 00:22:52,540
Why?

622
00:22:52,623 --> 00:22:53,154
What are we doing?

623
00:22:54,156 --> 00:22:55,535
We're doing the SwingTap plug.

624
00:22:56,058 --> 00:22:58,075
This is the wedding ring on my hand.

625
00:22:58,317 --> 00:23:01,010
And this is the bracelet on my
wrist, which I haven't taken

626
00:23:01,011 --> 00:23:01,869
off since we've gotten it.

627
00:23:01,987 --> 00:23:04,068
Yeah, you really should- … 'cause
you gotta clean yourself.

628
00:23:04,097 --> 00:23:04,308
Yeah.

629
00:23:04,889 --> 00:23:10,002
But before we even get into the wearables,
SwingTap is actually a whole platform.

630
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,639
You sign up, one-time fee, no
subscription, and you build

631
00:23:13,639 --> 00:23:15,143
yourself a lifestyle profile.

632
00:23:15,604 --> 00:23:17,837
Photos, preferences, all of it.

633
00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:21,109
And once it's built, you get your
own custom link and a QR code.

634
00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:24,902
So instead of trying to remember your
SDC username or spelling out your kick

635
00:23:24,902 --> 00:23:30,023
across a loud bar- You just share the
link or flash the code, and then it's done

636
00:23:30,513 --> 00:23:33,512
and that is where the wearable
comes in, because instead of even

637
00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:37,947
pulling out your phone, you can just
show them the QR code once they tap

638
00:23:37,948 --> 00:23:39,479
your little wearable thing here.

639
00:23:39,692 --> 00:23:41,489
Yeah, I mean, it really is that simple.

640
00:23:41,489 --> 00:23:42,311
You just tap.

641
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,466
You tap the rings, the bracelets.

642
00:23:44,637 --> 00:23:46,168
They even do NFC cards.

643
00:23:46,168 --> 00:23:46,270
Oh, that's right.

644
00:23:46,270 --> 00:23:46,961
It's really cool.

645
00:23:46,976 --> 00:23:47,358
Yeah.

646
00:23:47,362 --> 00:23:50,973
Someone taps their phone to
mine, my whole profile pops up.

647
00:23:51,424 --> 00:23:54,488
Mine just looks like a wedding ring
from across the room, so nobody's

648
00:23:54,489 --> 00:23:56,527
the wiser until you want them to be.

649
00:23:56,998 --> 00:23:58,027
Same with my bracelet.

650
00:23:58,183 --> 00:24:01,035
It's genuinely the smoothest
setup we've found for events,

651
00:24:01,157 --> 00:24:02,485
meetups, the boat, wherever.

652
00:24:02,926 --> 00:24:05,506
Build your profile once, then
just tap wherever you go.

653
00:24:05,973 --> 00:24:06,447
That's right.

654
00:24:06,614 --> 00:24:10,543
Go check out the platform and
the wearables, swingtap.fun.

655
00:24:10,716 --> 00:24:11,951
Link's in the show notes.

656
00:24:12,185 --> 00:24:17,361
Use our link, swingtap.fun/share/beyomono.

657
00:24:18,277 --> 00:24:19,366
It supports the show, too.

658
00:24:19,924 --> 00:24:21,271
Tap in, literally.

659
00:24:21,689 --> 00:24:23,292
All right, back to the episode.

660
00:24:23,517 --> 00:24:25,909
You know, that leads me into- You
know, I can get sexiness, but, but

661
00:24:25,916 --> 00:24:29,654
flirtiness … you know, that leads me
into, to, to something, and this is a

662
00:24:29,654 --> 00:24:35,351
little bit off topic, but, you know, I
saw a content creator today do a, a, a

663
00:24:35,369 --> 00:24:40,381
TikTok, and she was talking about how she
is officially going through a divorce.

664
00:24:40,430 --> 00:24:47,052
And she said, "I was a hot wife.
I was a hot wife for 20 years," or

665
00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:48,498
whatever, whatever the amount was.

666
00:24:48,531 --> 00:24:53,556
And she says, "I am now going, getting a
divorce, and I'm here to clear the air.

667
00:24:53,848 --> 00:24:58,174
People keep assuming that hot wife-ing
is the reason why I'm getting a

668
00:24:58,177 --> 00:25:03,912
divorce." And initially, I said, "No,
it's not." But then she said, "In

669
00:25:03,912 --> 00:25:07,879
actuality, it kinda is, but not for
the reasons that you're thinking."

670
00:25:07,934 --> 00:25:09,485
And so she starts getting into it.

671
00:25:09,486 --> 00:25:13,580
She said, you know, "He wasn't
devastated with me having sex

672
00:25:13,582 --> 00:25:16,781
with other men. He, that was his
kink. He was into it." Mm-hmm.

673
00:25:16,785 --> 00:25:19,803
"And I didn't have a problem
going out and, you know, we, we

674
00:25:19,803 --> 00:25:21,608
enjoyed this portion of it." Right.

675
00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:28,014
The reason why they're getting
divorced is because she didn't

676
00:25:28,014 --> 00:25:29,446
always wanna be the hot wife.

677
00:25:29,503 --> 00:25:30,051
Yeah.

678
00:25:30,130 --> 00:25:35,087
She was like, "I don't always wanna
do this. I, I don't wanna constantly

679
00:25:35,088 --> 00:25:38,469
be on. I don't wanna constantly
be flirting with other people and

680
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:42,109
constantly trying to have sex with
other men." I mean- And, and they would

681
00:25:42,110 --> 00:25:43,642
fight about it- Yeah … quite a bit.

682
00:25:43,676 --> 00:25:44,108
Yeah.

683
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:47,123
To where it became, you know,
a, a reason for divorce.

684
00:25:47,123 --> 00:25:54,140
Like, it's, it's, it's hard to always
be on, be sweet, be nice, especially

685
00:25:54,159 --> 00:25:56,368
in the kind of lifestyle that we're in.

686
00:25:56,423 --> 00:25:56,723
Yeah.

687
00:25:56,773 --> 00:25:58,481
And we do content.

688
00:25:58,488 --> 00:25:58,501
Yeah.

689
00:25:58,572 --> 00:26:01,537
And we're on social media,
and we have the podcast.

690
00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:02,462
It's hard.

691
00:26:02,476 --> 00:26:08,187
It's hard to be the
cutesy, funny, sweet woman.

692
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:08,918
Damn sure.

693
00:26:08,939 --> 00:26:12,965
I'm… That's not, that's not…
I'm not, I'm not a cutesy.

694
00:26:12,968 --> 00:26:14,262
I'm more of the goofy.

695
00:26:14,314 --> 00:26:14,654
Right.

696
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:17,624
When I'm relaxed, I'm very chill.

697
00:26:17,981 --> 00:26:19,005
I'm funny.

698
00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:24,957
But I don't bring all that to the
table because that's It's exhausting

699
00:26:24,981 --> 00:26:28,293
Well, what I found interesting,
though, was th- this is the hot wife

700
00:26:28,404 --> 00:26:30,146
lifestyle specifically Hot wife.

701
00:26:30,146 --> 00:26:32,254
That's the second time I've heard that
today And, and you know what's funny

702
00:26:32,254 --> 00:26:34,851
is with, with this particular creator.

703
00:26:34,913 --> 00:26:37,708
Mm-hmm … she said something
that kind of echoed in my head.

704
00:26:38,268 --> 00:26:44,203
She said, "What I realized was, was
I was not a wife to him. I was just-

705
00:26:44,203 --> 00:26:48,354
I was an object … I, I was just
his fantasy. Yeah I, I was just this,

706
00:26:48,423 --> 00:26:50,203
this fantasy kink that he had." Yeah.

707
00:26:50,203 --> 00:26:52,162
I remember feeling like that
when we first got- Yeah?

708
00:26:52,248 --> 00:26:53,853
… into the lifestyle because it was…

709
00:26:53,872 --> 00:26:54,657
You were pushing.

710
00:26:54,926 --> 00:26:55,155
Yes, yes.

711
00:26:55,171 --> 00:26:57,232
You know, you used to push-
'Cause I hadn't had, uh, the

712
00:26:57,244 --> 00:26:57,902
experiences … experiences.

713
00:26:57,902 --> 00:26:58,297
Yes.

714
00:26:58,297 --> 00:26:58,660
And, yeah, I was.

715
00:26:58,672 --> 00:26:59,607
So you would… It would push.

716
00:26:59,632 --> 00:27:03,492
And we had talked about that, and
I was like, "Yeah, it makes me feel

717
00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:08,385
like I'm just, I'm just here for
whatever you need me to be," right?

718
00:27:08,385 --> 00:27:08,734
This object.

719
00:27:08,746 --> 00:27:08,757
Yeah.

720
00:27:08,776 --> 00:27:13,650
And then, of course, as time has
passed, I feel women are more empowered.

721
00:27:13,866 --> 00:27:16,800
I am more empowered, so
I know how to say no.

722
00:27:16,826 --> 00:27:19,990
I know how to tell you, "I'm not in
the mood. I'm not in the mood." Yeah.

723
00:27:20,024 --> 00:27:21,362
Is it gonna get you upset?

724
00:27:21,550 --> 00:27:22,135
It might.

725
00:27:22,155 --> 00:27:26,420
It might upset you internally,
but you never have told me, you

726
00:27:26,420 --> 00:27:29,658
know, "Because you're not in the
mood, we're still going." Right.

727
00:27:29,658 --> 00:27:29,725
Right.

728
00:27:29,725 --> 00:27:30,150
You know?

729
00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:32,614
Like- And well, see, and that's
why it resonated with me, 'cause

730
00:27:32,615 --> 00:27:37,085
I was like, holy shit, I hope that
I never make you feel that way.

731
00:27:37,098 --> 00:27:37,549
No, no.

732
00:27:37,577 --> 00:27:42,987
Because, yeah, I love the hot wife
lifestyle, and I love this whole thing

733
00:27:42,987 --> 00:27:47,531
that we do, but- Yeah … I never
want to push you into doing something-

734
00:27:47,531 --> 00:27:49,309
No … that you don't wanna do.

735
00:27:49,362 --> 00:27:49,377
Mm-hmm.

736
00:27:49,377 --> 00:27:54,660
And then, also, obviously, if I'm
doing it all the fucking time, yeah,

737
00:27:54,682 --> 00:27:56,511
I'm not gonna see you as my wife.

738
00:27:56,511 --> 00:27:56,529
Yeah.

739
00:27:56,529 --> 00:27:59,839
I'm gonna see you as this chick I'm
basically trying to fucking trick out.

740
00:27:59,862 --> 00:28:00,149
Yeah.

741
00:28:00,149 --> 00:28:00,438
You know?

742
00:28:00,457 --> 00:28:00,878
Yeah.

743
00:28:00,878 --> 00:28:01,262
Minus the money.

744
00:28:01,366 --> 00:28:01,743
Yeah.

745
00:28:01,773 --> 00:28:06,432
So I g- I get the, the look at,
at that view of, well, I, this

746
00:28:06,443 --> 00:28:08,503
is how it ruined my relationship.

747
00:28:08,508 --> 00:28:08,746
Right.

748
00:28:08,816 --> 00:28:10,097
I, I understand that.

749
00:28:10,116 --> 00:28:10,299
Mm-hmm.

750
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,280
But I, I found that fascinating, and
I was like, "You know, I wanna, I

751
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:14,716
wanna talk to her about that." Yeah.

752
00:28:14,717 --> 00:28:16,399
No, I've never felt like that.

753
00:28:16,989 --> 00:28:20,683
Also, I mean, I feel bad for her, and
I'm sorry that she's going through that.

754
00:28:20,683 --> 00:28:25,775
But it's good for her for speaking up her,
speaking up and, you know, telling him,

755
00:28:25,775 --> 00:28:28,931
"Hey." You know, I f- "It's not the way
it is." I feel like no matter what our

756
00:28:28,931 --> 00:28:36,392
kinks are, no matter what our lifestyle
may be internally- If you value your

757
00:28:36,393 --> 00:28:40,169
relationship, your relationship's gonna be
your priority It's a relationship first.

758
00:28:40,169 --> 00:28:43,973
Yeah And so he may have had this hot-wife
kink and loved it and that sort of

759
00:28:43,974 --> 00:28:50,531
thing, but understand that if she voiced,
"Okay, this is too much," and you kept

760
00:28:50,535 --> 00:28:52,411
on with it, I mean, that's a problem.

761
00:28:52,463 --> 00:28:52,798
Exactly.

762
00:28:52,798 --> 00:28:53,051
Yeah You know?

763
00:28:53,056 --> 00:28:57,582
Obviously she and this relationship
are not your priority, and that's

764
00:28:57,612 --> 00:28:59,249
the tough part about all this.

765
00:28:59,249 --> 00:29:02,457
Mm-hmm Is, and I'm not trying to preach
to anybody by all means, but if your

766
00:29:02,458 --> 00:29:07,253
relationship is really your priority,
it doesn't matter what you wanna do.

767
00:29:07,636 --> 00:29:11,145
You will put anything- Yeah … in
front… You'll put anything-

768
00:29:11,145 --> 00:29:13,549
Yeah … behind that and your
relationship in front of that.

769
00:29:13,549 --> 00:29:13,569
For sure.

770
00:29:13,569 --> 00:29:13,589
For sure.

771
00:29:13,589 --> 00:29:13,942
You know?

772
00:29:13,966 --> 00:29:16,196
Because that's the, that's
the part that's important.

773
00:29:16,238 --> 00:29:16,409
Yeah.

774
00:29:16,946 --> 00:29:20,984
I love non-monogamy and I love what we
do and I love everything about it, but

775
00:29:20,984 --> 00:29:25,168
if you said tomorrow, "I don't wanna
do this anymore," and it was gonna be

776
00:29:25,758 --> 00:29:29,884
problematic for our relationship, well,
you know, I would walk away from it.

777
00:29:30,112 --> 00:29:34,351
I would hope that you and I would be
able to work something out to where- Yeah

778
00:29:34,559 --> 00:29:38,933
it's, it's maybe a, I don't know, a
give and take- Yeah … between the

779
00:29:38,934 --> 00:29:41,742
both of us where I sacrifice something,
you sacrifice something, you know.

780
00:29:41,742 --> 00:29:42,347
Yeah That sort of thing.

781
00:29:42,399 --> 00:29:46,319
Uh, but if it has to be all or
nothing at all- Yeah … well,

782
00:29:46,542 --> 00:29:47,859
the priority is the relationship.

783
00:29:48,020 --> 00:29:49,493
Of course, and it should be.

784
00:29:49,674 --> 00:29:51,718
You know, if you're gonna be in
a relationship, it should be.

785
00:29:51,774 --> 00:29:52,196
It should be.

786
00:29:52,196 --> 00:29:55,202
If you're not gonna be in a relationship-
… well, then go ahead and end it and

787
00:29:55,202 --> 00:29:56,932
say, "Okay, well, I'm gonna pursue
this one." Do whatever you want.

788
00:29:57,080 --> 00:30:00,848
Of course, it's gotta be hard to
be in a relationship w- where you

789
00:30:00,851 --> 00:30:02,905
like the hot wife and they don't.

790
00:30:02,905 --> 00:30:04,041
And not have a hot wife.

791
00:30:04,051 --> 00:30:05,282
And, and not have a hot wife.

792
00:30:05,291 --> 00:30:05,811
Yeah.

793
00:30:05,811 --> 00:30:05,821
Yeah.

794
00:30:05,945 --> 00:30:09,390
And I've, I've seen a lot of people,
uh, I've seen a lot of women-

795
00:30:09,473 --> 00:30:13,559
Uh-huh … mention this before
about how their husband really

796
00:30:13,563 --> 00:30:15,676
wants her to explore the hot wife.

797
00:30:15,676 --> 00:30:16,690
Oh, so many.

798
00:30:16,695 --> 00:30:20,708
Um, but they are not interested
in having sex with other men.

799
00:30:20,834 --> 00:30:21,074
Yeah.

800
00:30:21,126 --> 00:30:24,694
And they feel really weirded
out by it and they don't- Yeah

801
00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:26,166
they don't know how to go about it.

802
00:30:26,174 --> 00:30:29,822
So if somebody like that was messaging
us or somebody sent us something like

803
00:30:29,825 --> 00:30:31,512
that, what would you advise them?

804
00:30:31,622 --> 00:30:34,716
I would tell them to talk to
their husband and their hu- I

805
00:30:34,717 --> 00:30:36,159
would… This is for their husband.

806
00:30:36,159 --> 00:30:38,073
Like, listen to your wife.

807
00:30:38,124 --> 00:30:38,244
Yeah.

808
00:30:38,434 --> 00:30:41,763
If she doesn't wanna do it,
she doesn't have to do it.

809
00:30:41,988 --> 00:30:42,319
Yeah.

810
00:30:42,446 --> 00:30:42,938
You know?

811
00:30:42,938 --> 00:30:46,672
Like, it's, it's… It doesn't
have to be all or nothing.

812
00:30:46,676 --> 00:30:51,072
There's so many aspects of the
lifestyle that you can enjoy.

813
00:30:51,854 --> 00:30:54,936
Like, just flirting with other people.

814
00:30:55,266 --> 00:30:55,473
Yeah.

815
00:30:55,474 --> 00:30:56,449
It's that simple.

816
00:30:56,452 --> 00:30:56,600
It's that simple.

817
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,797
It doesn't have to be anything too heavy.

818
00:31:00,255 --> 00:31:04,517
And I've heard of… I've heard women
say, "You know, I don't, I don't, I

819
00:31:04,517 --> 00:31:06,298
don't think I'm into that hot wife part.

820
00:31:06,313 --> 00:31:08,517
Like, it's not, it's just
not for me." I get it.

821
00:31:08,565 --> 00:31:13,262
I don't… I, I… As much as we both
like it, I don't do it very often.

822
00:31:13,419 --> 00:31:13,790
No.

823
00:31:13,818 --> 00:31:14,434
And you know what?

824
00:31:14,452 --> 00:31:18,604
Honestly- It's very rare … our
compromise or, or where I'm satisfied-

825
00:31:18,607 --> 00:31:21,231
Yeah … with where we're at is
you do it every now and then.

826
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:21,673
Yes.

827
00:31:21,933 --> 00:31:23,291
But we talk about it a lot.

828
00:31:23,323 --> 00:31:23,632
Yes.

829
00:31:23,657 --> 00:31:25,988
And, and that's really
where it's satisfying to me.

830
00:31:25,988 --> 00:31:26,246
Yeah.

831
00:31:26,254 --> 00:31:27,221
And it's gratifying.

832
00:31:27,221 --> 00:31:27,275
Yes.

833
00:31:27,287 --> 00:31:30,984
So it fulfills that fantasy still
without having to send you out.

834
00:31:30,984 --> 00:31:31,979
Because there's still possibilities.

835
00:31:31,992 --> 00:31:32,435
There is.

836
00:31:32,466 --> 00:31:32,803
You know?

837
00:31:32,804 --> 00:31:33,663
And it's, and it's always open.

838
00:31:33,676 --> 00:31:33,883
Yeah.

839
00:31:33,883 --> 00:31:37,243
You know, we go to the club or
whatever, like, that is always

840
00:31:37,278 --> 00:31:39,391
out there, and it's available.

841
00:31:39,774 --> 00:31:42,325
But am I pushing you to go sleep- No

842
00:31:42,325 --> 00:31:43,214
with someone every weekend?

843
00:31:43,214 --> 00:31:43,424
No.

844
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:43,784
Mm-mm.

845
00:31:43,784 --> 00:31:47,593
Like, I mean, I… It's, it's always hot
at the thought, and we talk about it.

846
00:31:47,593 --> 00:31:48,021
Yeah.

847
00:31:48,034 --> 00:31:52,883
And it's, it, it really- Yeah … the
talk in and of itself is very satisfying.

848
00:31:52,883 --> 00:31:53,127
Mm-hmm.

849
00:31:53,787 --> 00:31:53,960
Agree.

850
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,997
And, and having that, knowing
that it's, it's, it's there.

851
00:31:57,050 --> 00:31:57,303
Mm-hmm.

852
00:31:57,306 --> 00:31:58,032
It could happen.

853
00:31:58,052 --> 00:31:58,297
Mm-hmm.

854
00:31:58,297 --> 00:31:58,647
You know?

855
00:31:58,848 --> 00:32:03,109
Because you've surprised me before,
and it's happened without any kind

856
00:32:03,111 --> 00:32:04,887
of planning on my part- Yeah, yeah

857
00:32:04,942 --> 00:32:06,060
uh, which was really cool.

858
00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:06,334
Yeah.

859
00:32:06,334 --> 00:32:06,732
You know?

860
00:32:06,737 --> 00:32:08,286
So I found that kind of interesting.

861
00:32:08,286 --> 00:32:09,778
I wanted to explore that a little bit.

862
00:32:09,826 --> 00:32:11,701
I know that was a little bit off topic.

863
00:32:11,701 --> 00:32:12,756
That was off the topic.

864
00:32:12,763 --> 00:32:13,870
Sorry, guys.

865
00:32:13,911 --> 00:32:13,959
That's okay.

866
00:32:13,959 --> 00:32:15,496
But I found it very interesting.

867
00:32:15,501 --> 00:32:16,365
That is very interesting.

868
00:32:16,366 --> 00:32:16,610
Yeah.

869
00:32:16,612 --> 00:32:19,138
Well, you know, I mean, 'cause
there's a lot of fellas out there

870
00:32:19,138 --> 00:32:22,913
who love the hot wife dynamic, and
there's so many women who aren't

871
00:32:23,104 --> 00:32:25,357
really turned on by that thought.

872
00:32:25,408 --> 00:32:28,324
So, for me- Yeah … I like women.

873
00:32:28,635 --> 00:32:28,967
Yeah.

874
00:32:29,135 --> 00:32:31,679
So I am, I l- I love women.

875
00:32:31,682 --> 00:32:34,195
Like, I love to be intimate with women.

876
00:32:34,510 --> 00:32:36,693
Now, it doesn't mean I
don't like to be with men.

877
00:32:36,704 --> 00:32:38,650
But that's not, that's not something
that we can always share together.

878
00:32:38,661 --> 00:32:39,200
No.

879
00:32:39,227 --> 00:32:40,207
It, and it's not.

880
00:32:40,214 --> 00:32:40,368
Yeah.

881
00:32:40,476 --> 00:32:42,833
And I mean, I don't play
with a lot of women.

882
00:32:42,903 --> 00:32:43,197
Yeah.

883
00:32:43,255 --> 00:32:46,569
So that's just my… I,
that's what I prefer.

884
00:32:46,571 --> 00:32:46,934
Right.

885
00:32:46,990 --> 00:32:50,538
But that doesn't mean that there's no
men that I wouldn't want to play with.

886
00:32:50,638 --> 00:32:51,443
There are.

887
00:32:52,147 --> 00:32:53,783
Do they jump out at me all the time?

888
00:32:53,887 --> 00:32:54,828
No, the women do.

889
00:32:54,914 --> 00:32:54,954
Yeah.

890
00:32:54,954 --> 00:32:58,334
Like, that's just my, you know…
And so the hot wifing thing,

891
00:32:58,417 --> 00:33:03,975
it happens very rare, but I do
sprinkle it in every now and then.

892
00:33:04,079 --> 00:33:05,019
Yeah, yeah.

893
00:33:05,019 --> 00:33:05,388
You know?

894
00:33:05,687 --> 00:33:08,939
I, I wonder, you know, the
hot wifing thing doesn't

895
00:33:08,939 --> 00:33:09,974
always have to be with a guy.

896
00:33:11,257 --> 00:33:12,675
No, it could be with a, a woman.

897
00:33:12,724 --> 00:33:12,903
Yeah.

898
00:33:12,903 --> 00:33:13,139
Yeah.

899
00:33:13,377 --> 00:33:13,653
Yeah.

900
00:33:13,653 --> 00:33:14,505
So I mean, I'm just saying.

901
00:33:14,617 --> 00:33:16,140
You know, I'm just saying.

902
00:33:16,319 --> 00:33:16,692
Anyways.

903
00:33:18,422 --> 00:33:19,534
Oh, he doesn't push at all.

904
00:33:19,922 --> 00:33:19,942
I know.

905
00:33:19,942 --> 00:33:20,979
I'm just, I'm just saying.

906
00:33:21,041 --> 00:33:21,635
Don't twist my arm.

907
00:33:21,635 --> 00:33:22,476
I'm just having a conversation.

908
00:33:22,476 --> 00:33:23,709
This is a podcast, you know?

909
00:33:23,709 --> 00:33:23,979
Yeah.

910
00:33:24,140 --> 00:33:24,855
You gotta be happy.

911
00:33:24,936 --> 00:33:26,796
But, but sorry about that, guys.

912
00:33:26,796 --> 00:33:30,645
Yeah, going back to the, the whole,
uh, the, the lifestyle brain.

913
00:33:30,786 --> 00:33:30,796
Yeah.

914
00:33:30,799 --> 00:33:36,589
Because you had mentioned earlier
that you struggle to flirt with women-

915
00:33:36,739 --> 00:33:38,633
Yes … in, in the vanilla world.

916
00:33:38,633 --> 00:33:38,643
Yeah.

917
00:33:39,155 --> 00:33:43,326
Would you say that you've had
the thoughts of wanting to flirt?

918
00:33:43,357 --> 00:33:44,521
Oh, most definitely.

919
00:33:44,524 --> 00:33:45,605
Do you have that often?

920
00:33:46,632 --> 00:33:47,262
Yes.

921
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:47,791
Really?

922
00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:49,552
Every time I go somewhere Really?

923
00:33:49,559 --> 00:33:52,137
There's always a hot woman,
and I'm like… Yeah.

924
00:33:52,216 --> 00:33:52,471
Yeah.

925
00:33:52,472 --> 00:33:53,498
And then you just freeze up.

926
00:33:53,521 --> 00:33:56,658
I just freeze up, because
I don't fuck with vanilla.

927
00:33:57,653 --> 00:33:58,116
Yeah.

928
00:33:58,150 --> 00:33:59,231
I don't fuck with vanilla.

929
00:33:59,271 --> 00:34:01,954
I- Yeah … we do not fuck with vanilla.

930
00:34:01,970 --> 00:34:02,166
Right.

931
00:34:02,168 --> 00:34:02,178
Right.

932
00:34:02,178 --> 00:34:03,180
Like, we're not doing Yeah.

933
00:34:03,441 --> 00:34:03,803
Forgot.

934
00:34:04,017 --> 00:34:04,813
We're not doing that.

935
00:34:04,838 --> 00:34:05,216
Forgot.

936
00:34:05,238 --> 00:34:06,990
That's one of our boundaries.

937
00:34:07,002 --> 00:34:07,641
That's right.

938
00:34:07,772 --> 00:34:08,235
We don't fuck with vanilla.

939
00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:09,363
We don't fuck with vanilla.

940
00:34:09,386 --> 00:34:10,684
And so, no.

941
00:34:10,687 --> 00:34:10,697
Yeah.

942
00:34:11,304 --> 00:34:14,198
But you know, I don't really flirt with
a lot of people, a lot of women in the

943
00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:15,830
lifestyle, 'cause I don't know how.

944
00:34:16,319 --> 00:34:16,600
Yeah.

945
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,302
Like, it's very easy, like,
you're hot or you're cute.

946
00:34:20,359 --> 00:34:21,554
So explain that to me.

947
00:34:21,577 --> 00:34:26,044
I mean- Because you flirt with
men like you're Michelangelo, you

948
00:34:26,045 --> 00:34:27,282
know, with a set of paintbrushes.

949
00:34:27,298 --> 00:34:29,899
Like, it's, it's something that
comes very naturally to you.

950
00:34:29,916 --> 00:34:31,566
Yeah, because I've been
doing it for so long.

951
00:34:31,581 --> 00:34:33,245
So why is it so different with women?

952
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:34,836
It, because I don't, I don't know.

953
00:34:34,946 --> 00:34:35,779
It just is.

954
00:34:35,837 --> 00:34:36,384
How is it?

955
00:34:36,656 --> 00:34:37,233
Like- How is it different?

956
00:34:37,233 --> 00:34:39,267
… men, like I told you, men are easy.

957
00:34:40,047 --> 00:34:41,162
I don't have to do much.

958
00:34:41,162 --> 00:34:43,242
How, but I've met some
women that are pretty easy.

959
00:34:43,333 --> 00:34:44,673
I mean- To flirt with.

960
00:34:44,766 --> 00:34:45,517
Well, also just easy.

961
00:34:45,517 --> 00:34:51,628
I mean, we flirt, but, like, it's not
Actually, no, maybe I take it back.

962
00:34:51,632 --> 00:34:53,561
I'm a pretty good flirt with women now.

963
00:34:53,822 --> 00:34:54,219
Yeah?

964
00:34:54,261 --> 00:34:54,748
Yeah.

965
00:34:55,540 --> 00:34:55,992
Yeah.

966
00:34:56,053 --> 00:34:57,039
I'm a pretty good flirt.

967
00:34:58,125 --> 00:35:00,393
Like, I can- Just went from one extreme
to the other … well, because I was

968
00:35:00,394 --> 00:35:03,379
like, man, I don't flirt- Non-confident
to- I was like, man, I don't f- I

969
00:35:03,379 --> 00:35:05,075
don't really flirt with a lot of women.

970
00:35:05,626 --> 00:35:08,299
But then I'm thinking about it
and I'm like, damn, I really do

971
00:35:08,300 --> 00:35:11,474
flirt with a lot of women, but I
don't flirt in the vanilla world.

972
00:35:12,113 --> 00:35:13,425
You don't flirt in the vanilla world?

973
00:35:13,425 --> 00:35:13,435
No.

974
00:35:13,450 --> 00:35:15,575
Like, I've, I've kind of, sort of.

975
00:35:15,591 --> 00:35:18,024
Like- But you flirt with
men in the vanilla world.

976
00:35:18,496 --> 00:35:19,102
No.

977
00:35:19,146 --> 00:35:19,617
Yeah.

978
00:35:19,875 --> 00:35:20,216
You have.

979
00:35:20,230 --> 00:35:20,490
Man.

980
00:35:20,513 --> 00:35:21,038
I've seen.

981
00:35:21,290 --> 00:35:22,551
You think that's flirting?

982
00:35:22,914 --> 00:35:25,994
Oh, no, I've specifically seen you
flirt with men in the vanilla world.

983
00:35:25,994 --> 00:35:26,007
Really?

984
00:35:26,076 --> 00:35:28,577
And we've walked by and you've,
you've given me that smile.

985
00:35:29,421 --> 00:35:29,802
See?

986
00:35:30,234 --> 00:35:30,431
Yeah.

987
00:35:31,094 --> 00:35:35,726
That's how un- … Like, I, when it comes
to men, I just don't think about that.

988
00:35:35,891 --> 00:35:36,200
Yeah.

989
00:35:36,245 --> 00:35:37,280
Like, it's just me talking.

990
00:35:37,836 --> 00:35:38,179
Wow.

991
00:35:38,959 --> 00:35:39,326
Yeah.

992
00:35:39,545 --> 00:35:42,957
That's funny because when you talk
to most men, you're not flirting.

993
00:35:43,568 --> 00:35:46,714
As a matter of fact, when you talk to
most men, you're not really friendly.

994
00:35:46,796 --> 00:35:48,206
So, I don't know.

995
00:35:48,206 --> 00:35:50,199
He's just lying, guys.

996
00:35:50,254 --> 00:35:51,468
I don't know.

997
00:35:52,185 --> 00:35:52,933
I don't know.

998
00:35:53,063 --> 00:35:53,563
I don't know.

999
00:35:53,734 --> 00:35:54,064
I don't know.

1000
00:35:54,066 --> 00:35:55,737
I guess it really- I mean- … depends
on how you're feeling, like

1001
00:35:55,737 --> 00:35:56,763
if you're in a good mood.

1002
00:35:56,777 --> 00:36:00,481
So in the club, I'm g- I go
in there with confidence.

1003
00:36:00,634 --> 00:36:01,027
Yeah?

1004
00:36:01,698 --> 00:36:03,409
Yes, because it's the club.

1005
00:36:03,418 --> 00:36:05,743
I'm a r- I, it, it gives you this energy.

1006
00:36:05,785 --> 00:36:06,073
Yeah.

1007
00:36:06,447 --> 00:36:07,837
So I can flirt there.

1008
00:36:08,095 --> 00:36:13,238
Outside, I try flirting with vanillas just
to kind of flirt, just to be cutesies.

1009
00:36:13,645 --> 00:36:14,235
I can't.

1010
00:36:15,177 --> 00:36:16,258
I don't know what to say.

1011
00:36:16,448 --> 00:36:19,054
But you just got done saying
that you're a really good flirt.

1012
00:36:19,074 --> 00:36:20,766
I'm a good flirt with lifestyle women.

1013
00:36:20,772 --> 00:36:20,782
Okay.

1014
00:36:20,828 --> 00:36:22,730
I'm not a good flirt with
regular vanilla people.

1015
00:36:22,730 --> 00:36:23,330
With, with regular vanilla people.

1016
00:36:23,330 --> 00:36:24,349
I don't know how to do it.

1017
00:36:24,978 --> 00:36:25,210
Huh.

1018
00:36:25,581 --> 00:36:28,474
Like, I'd be like, "Oh, that's a
pretty dress," or, "Can I take it off?"

1019
00:36:28,588 --> 00:36:29,776
Well, so.

1020
00:36:29,847 --> 00:36:30,945
I'm too fast.

1021
00:36:30,951 --> 00:36:34,752
So yeah, that's, that escalates the
flirting into- Yes … just saying,

1022
00:36:34,765 --> 00:36:36,323
"You wanna, you wanna go to bed?"
See if I could do it to a guy.

1023
00:36:36,323 --> 00:36:40,135
I'd be like, "I like your pants.
Can you take 'em off?" See,

1024
00:36:40,154 --> 00:36:41,117
first of all, that was hot.

1025
00:36:41,143 --> 00:36:44,545
But y- uh, but stop it for
one thing, because you don't

1026
00:36:44,814 --> 00:36:46,160
ever say that to anybody.

1027
00:36:46,226 --> 00:36:47,257
You only say that to me.

1028
00:36:48,015 --> 00:36:48,293
Yeah.

1029
00:36:48,733 --> 00:36:49,365
I do.

1030
00:36:49,383 --> 00:36:49,681
Yeah.

1031
00:36:49,902 --> 00:36:55,242
But, you know, the, the thing about
it is, is have you caught yourself

1032
00:36:55,243 --> 00:36:59,110
with that lifestyle brain out in
public- Yes … with other people?

1033
00:36:59,124 --> 00:36:59,654
Yes.

1034
00:36:59,679 --> 00:36:59,993
Yeah?

1035
00:37:00,034 --> 00:37:01,620
Mainly with men.

1036
00:37:01,964 --> 00:37:02,546
Really?

1037
00:37:02,579 --> 00:37:02,993
Yes.

1038
00:37:03,016 --> 00:37:03,798
I did not see that one coming.

1039
00:37:03,798 --> 00:37:04,379
I don't know why.

1040
00:37:04,591 --> 00:37:05,220
With men?

1041
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:06,492
Yeah.

1042
00:37:06,492 --> 00:37:07,613
With, with… Really?

1043
00:37:07,696 --> 00:37:08,646
I mean, I'll tell women.

1044
00:37:08,653 --> 00:37:11,465
I'll most likely tell women, like if
I'm like there and be like, "Oh, yeah.

1045
00:37:11,466 --> 00:37:13,275
Well, me and my husband are
l- are swingers." And they'll

1046
00:37:13,278 --> 00:37:15,374
be like, "Oh, okay." Yeah.

1047
00:37:15,574 --> 00:37:16,629
Um, then it scares them.

1048
00:37:16,699 --> 00:37:21,240
Now, do you feel like women are
more inclined to judge than men when

1049
00:37:21,241 --> 00:37:22,390
they find out that we're swingers?

1050
00:37:22,450 --> 00:37:22,847
No.

1051
00:37:22,878 --> 00:37:24,559
Men are more to judge.

1052
00:37:24,615 --> 00:37:25,603
Get lost.

1053
00:37:25,786 --> 00:37:26,219
Really?

1054
00:37:26,245 --> 00:37:26,567
Yeah.

1055
00:37:26,926 --> 00:37:27,309
Oh, really?

1056
00:37:27,309 --> 00:37:28,590
Your husband lets you fuck other men?

1057
00:37:28,651 --> 00:37:28,869
Yeah.

1058
00:37:28,869 --> 00:37:29,819
Oh, I've heard that one before.

1059
00:37:29,850 --> 00:37:32,155
And he gets hard too-
Uh-huh … watching me.

1060
00:37:32,455 --> 00:37:34,173
And then they go, "Is he gay?" Yeah.

1061
00:37:34,387 --> 00:37:34,900
Yeah, no.

1062
00:37:35,043 --> 00:37:35,947
I don't even do that with men.

1063
00:37:36,791 --> 00:37:37,448
That's interesting.

1064
00:37:37,448 --> 00:37:37,749
Yeah.

1065
00:37:37,941 --> 00:37:39,200
But women- Women love it.

1066
00:37:39,407 --> 00:37:39,966
Really?

1067
00:37:39,979 --> 00:37:42,182
Women are like, "Really?" Like, yeah.

1068
00:37:42,475 --> 00:37:44,216
Confident women love it.

1069
00:37:44,331 --> 00:37:45,139
Confident women.

1070
00:37:45,205 --> 00:37:47,426
And, and- Yeah … a certain age.

1071
00:37:47,595 --> 00:37:48,854
You know, more mature.

1072
00:37:48,865 --> 00:37:50,016
Mature women love it.

1073
00:37:50,016 --> 00:37:50,026
Oh.

1074
00:37:50,471 --> 00:37:53,197
So you can be 22, 23 and like that.

1075
00:37:53,197 --> 00:37:56,182
I'm just saying, like, a
mature mental person is like-

1076
00:37:56,657 --> 00:37:58,584
Mm-hmm … "Tell me about it." Yeah.

1077
00:37:58,585 --> 00:38:01,554
You know, I noticed that most people w-
if they're not in the lifestyle and they

1078
00:38:01,559 --> 00:38:05,868
find out that we're in the lifestyle,
there's one of two ways that they react.

1079
00:38:05,868 --> 00:38:08,130
It's either their, their
interest is piqued.

1080
00:38:08,185 --> 00:38:08,481
Yeah.

1081
00:38:08,483 --> 00:38:10,122
And it's like, "Ooh, tell me more." Yeah.

1082
00:38:10,170 --> 00:38:12,799
Or they're just completely
disgusted by it.

1083
00:38:12,799 --> 00:38:12,809
Yeah.

1084
00:38:12,951 --> 00:38:15,107
And it's like, "Oh my God." Yeah.

1085
00:38:15,155 --> 00:38:16,024
"Really?" Yeah.

1086
00:38:16,271 --> 00:38:17,498
It's like- I wanted to b- … you do that?

1087
00:38:17,543 --> 00:38:18,915
I wanted to bring up something.

1088
00:38:19,204 --> 00:38:21,548
You and I flirt with
each other all the time.

1089
00:38:21,809 --> 00:38:22,797
Very openly, yeah.

1090
00:38:22,797 --> 00:38:26,690
Like, no matter what we're
doing, we are texting.

1091
00:38:26,842 --> 00:38:27,114
Yeah.

1092
00:38:27,161 --> 00:38:30,076
Whatever, we are flirting with each other.

1093
00:38:30,089 --> 00:38:30,370
Yeah.

1094
00:38:31,493 --> 00:38:35,338
A lot of people do not flirt with
their… Like, I send you pictures.

1095
00:38:35,369 --> 00:38:36,852
Even if it's just a regular picture.

1096
00:38:36,860 --> 00:38:37,054
Right.

1097
00:38:37,054 --> 00:38:39,915
Like, I am always doing
something for you, right?

1098
00:38:39,945 --> 00:38:40,254
Yeah.

1099
00:38:41,950 --> 00:38:44,906
There's a lot of people
that don't do that.

1100
00:38:44,964 --> 00:38:46,178
They don't flirt with
their, their partners.

1101
00:38:46,178 --> 00:38:46,910
They don't flirt.

1102
00:38:46,910 --> 00:38:47,847
Yeah, like, they don't
flirt with their partners.

1103
00:38:47,855 --> 00:38:47,923
Yeah.

1104
00:38:47,949 --> 00:38:50,811
I was talking to somebody in the
lifestyle, and I was like, "Yeah, you

1105
00:38:50,811 --> 00:38:53,382
don't ever send your, your husband,
like, a picture?" And she's like, "No.

1106
00:38:53,418 --> 00:38:56,398
I just don't like the way the pictures
come out." I'm like, "He sees you naked."

1107
00:38:56,808 --> 00:38:56,971
Yeah, yeah.

1108
00:38:57,011 --> 00:38:59,809
The man knows what you- Y'all sleep in
bed together … I mean, there's parts

1109
00:38:59,810 --> 00:39:03,211
of me that I don't like, but- Nah,
there's not a single part on you I don't

1110
00:39:03,221 --> 00:39:05,187
like … you love 'em Every bit of it
… and I'm gonna send a picture, you know?

1111
00:39:05,247 --> 00:39:06,757
Is every picture flattering?

1112
00:39:06,788 --> 00:39:08,669
No, probably not.

1113
00:39:09,104 --> 00:39:09,800
But you love 'em.

1114
00:39:09,915 --> 00:39:10,250
Yeah, yeah.

1115
00:39:10,518 --> 00:39:12,367
So I, I was wondering, like…

1116
00:39:13,105 --> 00:39:18,545
Or not wondering, I was just thinking
about how you have to flirt with the

1117
00:39:18,545 --> 00:39:20,875
people that are most important to you.

1118
00:39:20,922 --> 00:39:21,783
Absolutely.

1119
00:39:21,794 --> 00:39:24,738
Like, I flirt with people that
I, at the club a lot, that I

1120
00:39:24,738 --> 00:39:27,373
know I want to, like, bang.

1121
00:39:27,649 --> 00:39:28,195
Of course.

1122
00:39:28,344 --> 00:39:28,916
You know?

1123
00:39:29,087 --> 00:39:30,306
I would think so, yeah.

1124
00:39:30,347 --> 00:39:32,458
Well, I mean, sometimes you just
don't talk to them, it's busy.

1125
00:39:32,589 --> 00:39:32,777
Yeah.

1126
00:39:32,777 --> 00:39:34,720
But I always find them, and
I always flirt a little bit.

1127
00:39:34,773 --> 00:39:35,489
Oh, I gotcha, I gotcha.

1128
00:39:35,492 --> 00:39:36,092
You know what I mean?

1129
00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:36,254
Yeah.

1130
00:39:36,254 --> 00:39:39,308
Like, it's, it's, you have
to keep that intention up.

1131
00:39:39,805 --> 00:39:42,790
You know, I think that if you're gonna
be flirty with other people and you're

1132
00:39:42,790 --> 00:39:47,186
a part of a couple, you should be
putting just as much flirting- Attention

1133
00:39:47,186 --> 00:39:48,089
into your partner.

1134
00:39:48,089 --> 00:39:48,953
Yes.

1135
00:39:49,508 --> 00:39:50,210
It's important.

1136
00:39:50,372 --> 00:39:54,655
It's very- Like- It's, I think it's very
healthy- Yeah … and it's very romantic.

1137
00:39:54,919 --> 00:39:59,151
If you don't buy her flowers- Oh,
fuck … at least send her, "I love

1138
00:39:59,151 --> 00:40:00,880
you. I'm thinking about you." Okay.

1139
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,084
We've had this conversation.

1140
00:40:02,086 --> 00:40:02,592
Yes, we have.

1141
00:40:02,861 --> 00:40:05,877
We, we… I mean, we're
not perfect, right?

1142
00:40:05,879 --> 00:40:10,012
So we've had conversations where I've
been like, "You need to tell me that

1143
00:40:10,012 --> 00:40:14,071
you love me or you're thinking about
me," because you don't via text.

1144
00:40:14,135 --> 00:40:14,513
Yeah.

1145
00:40:14,529 --> 00:40:15,554
Because you were working.

1146
00:40:15,566 --> 00:40:15,781
Yeah, yeah.

1147
00:40:15,781 --> 00:40:15,791
Right?

1148
00:40:15,791 --> 00:40:17,665
Yeah, I was, I was- Or you were… No,
you were working on the podcast, right?

1149
00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:18,950
Yeah, there was a lot going on.

1150
00:40:18,950 --> 00:40:22,477
So I'd be like, "You don't, you don't
ever tell me you miss me," or, you know,

1151
00:40:22,687 --> 00:40:25,173
I- Is it alwa- Are you always missing me?

1152
00:40:25,281 --> 00:40:28,715
Probably fucking not, but let me know
you're thinking about me, you know?

1153
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:29,151
Yeah.

1154
00:40:29,530 --> 00:40:32,807
So, you know, you sometimes
you just need a little nudge.

1155
00:40:32,846 --> 00:40:33,101
Yeah.

1156
00:40:33,103 --> 00:40:37,669
You know, it, it is, it is important
to, uh, to prioritize your partner.

1157
00:40:37,754 --> 00:40:38,816
I like flirting with you.

1158
00:40:39,167 --> 00:40:39,517
Yeah?

1159
00:40:39,573 --> 00:40:41,250
Oh, I love flirting with you.

1160
00:40:41,251 --> 00:40:43,522
Like, I can get you beet red.

1161
00:40:43,962 --> 00:40:44,343
Yeah.

1162
00:40:44,456 --> 00:40:44,729
Yeah.

1163
00:40:44,842 --> 00:40:45,971
I love flirting with you.

1164
00:40:46,125 --> 00:40:46,406
Yeah.

1165
00:40:46,430 --> 00:40:49,734
And you've taught me how to make…
how to accept a compliment, and when

1166
00:40:49,735 --> 00:40:51,331
you flirt with me I'm like, "Okay."

1167
00:40:51,394 --> 00:40:51,748
Yeah.

1168
00:40:51,748 --> 00:40:54,244
You know, you've really come a long
way with accepting compliments-

1169
00:40:54,247 --> 00:40:55,875
Yeah … because you used to get
real goofy- You gotta bring me

1170
00:40:55,878 --> 00:40:56,580
down now … about that shit.

1171
00:40:56,582 --> 00:40:56,953
Yeah.

1172
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:57,883
Got a big old head.

1173
00:40:58,496 --> 00:41:01,407
People are like, "Oh, you look so good,"
and you're like, "I know." And I'm like,

1174
00:41:01,409 --> 00:41:06,704
"Girl, take it easy." I mean, honestly,
ladies, when someone, or a man, when

1175
00:41:06,707 --> 00:41:11,040
someone tells you you look good and you
know you look good, tell them, "I agree."

1176
00:41:11,248 --> 00:41:11,852
And you know what?

1177
00:41:11,853 --> 00:41:13,606
There's nothing wrong with
a little bit of confidence.

1178
00:41:13,606 --> 00:41:13,616
No.

1179
00:41:14,010 --> 00:41:14,543
That's, that's hot.

1180
00:41:14,543 --> 00:41:15,663
Confidence is sexy.

1181
00:41:15,682 --> 00:41:15,998
Yeah.

1182
00:41:15,998 --> 00:41:16,544
It's hot.

1183
00:41:16,665 --> 00:41:17,231
You know?

1184
00:41:17,376 --> 00:41:17,979
It's good stuff.

1185
00:41:17,997 --> 00:41:18,703
Yeah.

1186
00:41:19,050 --> 00:41:20,825
And I… and it doesn't matter body shape.

1187
00:41:20,834 --> 00:41:25,352
Confidence comes in all shapes
and sizes, and it is fucking sexy.

1188
00:41:25,590 --> 00:41:26,340
Agree.

1189
00:41:26,357 --> 00:41:26,583
Yeah.

1190
00:41:26,584 --> 00:41:27,239
It's good.

1191
00:41:27,606 --> 00:41:28,407
It's good.

1192
00:41:28,407 --> 00:41:29,021
You're, you're hot.

1193
00:41:29,137 --> 00:41:29,557
Take it easy.

1194
00:41:30,301 --> 00:41:31,163
You better take it easy.

1195
00:41:31,169 --> 00:41:34,868
See, that's her flirting, and right now I
don't know if I'm misreading the signal.

1196
00:41:34,994 --> 00:41:35,467
You are.

1197
00:41:35,903 --> 00:41:36,163
Am I?

1198
00:41:36,205 --> 00:41:36,528
Not.

1199
00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:39,920
But, you know, I mean,
so misreading the signal.

1200
00:41:40,085 --> 00:41:42,223
We, you know, we, we've
talked about this before.

1201
00:41:42,226 --> 00:41:43,477
I feel like you misread that signal a lot.

1202
00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:43,990
Do you think?

1203
00:41:44,045 --> 00:41:45,111
You like women.

1204
00:41:45,113 --> 00:41:46,553
You love women so much.

1205
00:41:46,569 --> 00:41:46,966
I do.

1206
00:41:47,072 --> 00:41:47,790
Um- I'm girl crazy.

1207
00:41:48,260 --> 00:41:49,789
You're, you're very girl crazy.

1208
00:41:49,789 --> 00:41:50,368
I've always been girl crazy.

1209
00:41:50,368 --> 00:41:54,159
So a little, a little look
or just a little smile.

1210
00:41:54,258 --> 00:41:54,781
Oh, dude.

1211
00:41:54,874 --> 00:41:57,940
Forget it You show me- What's,
what, what- You show me.

1212
00:41:58,431 --> 00:41:58,954
That's it.

1213
00:41:58,991 --> 00:41:59,618
Oh, shit.

1214
00:41:59,624 --> 00:42:01,421
And he doesn't lack
attention in this house.

1215
00:42:01,474 --> 00:42:02,006
I don't.

1216
00:42:02,017 --> 00:42:02,494
But holy shit.

1217
00:42:02,494 --> 00:42:04,113
But I sure do love attention.

1218
00:42:04,113 --> 00:42:04,272
Yeah.

1219
00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:04,746
I ain't gonna lie.

1220
00:42:04,746 --> 00:42:05,494
I like attention a whole lot.

1221
00:42:05,494 --> 00:42:08,028
And I think I, I … You, you don't-
And also a regular 4 … you, you

1222
00:42:08,028 --> 00:42:12,712
don't take it too far, but- Hmm … I
feel like misleading, misreading is

1223
00:42:12,712 --> 00:42:17,536
a common mistake for many people in
certain- Yeah … like bartenders, guys.

1224
00:42:17,925 --> 00:42:17,952
Well.

1225
00:42:17,955 --> 00:42:21,323
I'm sure that you guys think
bartenders are flirting, you know?

1226
00:42:21,323 --> 00:42:22,398
And sometimes they are.

1227
00:42:22,414 --> 00:42:23,775
Sometimes they really are.

1228
00:42:23,818 --> 00:42:28,413
I've had … We've had many, many friends,
but we're also … It's also a business.

1229
00:42:28,706 --> 00:42:28,733
Yeah.

1230
00:42:28,733 --> 00:42:33,559
So you have to know and
understand and not go too far.

1231
00:42:33,626 --> 00:42:34,016
Yeah.

1232
00:42:34,016 --> 00:42:34,026
Yeah.

1233
00:42:34,061 --> 00:42:35,845
There's a, there's always an excessive.

1234
00:42:35,859 --> 00:42:40,393
Like, when I was a bartender
and men would flirt with me, I

1235
00:42:40,393 --> 00:42:41,533
would just deal with it, right?

1236
00:42:41,567 --> 00:42:43,448
I didn't like men, but I
would just deal with it.

1237
00:42:43,537 --> 00:42:45,857
And they would be, you know, they
would say something and be like,

1238
00:42:45,858 --> 00:42:50,127
"Dude, I, we, I was just talking to
you because you're gonna tip me," like.

1239
00:42:51,113 --> 00:42:51,552
Yeah.

1240
00:42:51,654 --> 00:42:55,079
I mean, that's the- This is a transaction
… that's the cold, hard truth about it.

1241
00:42:55,079 --> 00:42:58,040
But you know what's funny is,
and that goes into the whole

1242
00:42:58,042 --> 00:43:00,027
OnlyFans thing, is the same thing.

1243
00:43:00,081 --> 00:43:00,285
Oh.

1244
00:43:00,289 --> 00:43:06,526
Because, you know, oftentimes these guys
who are, who are paying, they want this

1245
00:43:06,552 --> 00:43:11,162
attention- Yes … from, from the person
that they're- Yes … paying, you know?

1246
00:43:11,162 --> 00:43:11,172
Yes.

1247
00:43:11,448 --> 00:43:14,734
They want to be able to feel like
they're the, they're the one that

1248
00:43:14,736 --> 00:43:17,330
matters to her even though- Yeah … she
talks to all these different guys.

1249
00:43:17,332 --> 00:43:17,526
Yes.

1250
00:43:17,526 --> 00:43:17,828
You know?

1251
00:43:18,156 --> 00:43:19,003
Stuff like that.

1252
00:43:19,356 --> 00:43:21,745
And that's the way it was when you
were a bartender, that's the way it

1253
00:43:21,746 --> 00:43:23,456
was when she was a stripper, yeah.

1254
00:43:23,733 --> 00:43:24,070
You know?

1255
00:43:24,070 --> 00:43:25,865
But- It's, it's- … it's
always been like that.

1256
00:43:25,868 --> 00:43:26,487
Yes.

1257
00:43:26,590 --> 00:43:30,069
Where- I mean, I've
worked at dental offices.

1258
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:31,999
I've worked at so many different places.

1259
00:43:32,076 --> 00:43:33,731
It never fails.

1260
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:38,721
There's always this one guy who just
thinks, I'm just, I'm infatuated

1261
00:43:38,721 --> 00:43:42,650
with him," or something, and then
the, the excessive flirtiness comes.

1262
00:43:42,796 --> 00:43:46,870
Yeah. And then I'm like, "Mm, dude,
I was just being really nice to you.

1263
00:43:46,877 --> 00:43:48,694
Like, that's it." Yeah.

1264
00:43:48,694 --> 00:43:50,330
"It's my job." It's my job.

1265
00:43:50,540 --> 00:43:51,288
It's my job.

1266
00:43:51,304 --> 00:43:51,906
It's my job.

1267
00:43:51,908 --> 00:43:56,828
So I think, yeah, a lot of, of, of
the miscommunication, the misreading.

1268
00:43:56,883 --> 00:43:57,261
Yeah.

1269
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:58,090
Misreading, right?

1270
00:43:58,100 --> 00:43:58,608
That's what it would be.

1271
00:43:58,608 --> 00:43:58,924
Yeah.

1272
00:43:58,926 --> 00:44:03,052
I mean, mis- misreading the
friendly or polite- Yeah … type

1273
00:44:03,053 --> 00:44:04,734
of attitude, you know.

1274
00:44:05,102 --> 00:44:05,551
I don't know.

1275
00:44:05,552 --> 00:44:06,782
I, I, it happens.

1276
00:44:06,809 --> 00:44:07,367
It happens.

1277
00:44:07,367 --> 00:44:12,128
I know it happens to, like you said,
bartenders to- Yeah … to servers.

1278
00:44:12,128 --> 00:44:13,339
I mean- But salespeople.

1279
00:44:13,340 --> 00:44:16,990
I mean, it … I, but I hear … I,
I'm just … I've heard this.

1280
00:44:17,018 --> 00:44:21,934
I don't know, so don't have at me
in the comments, but I've heard

1281
00:44:22,549 --> 00:44:27,654
that salespeople, like, there's
a lot of sex happening there.

1282
00:44:29,006 --> 00:44:31,820
I've always heard that since I was a kid.

1283
00:44:32,767 --> 00:44:36,095
Everybody knows- I'm sure … that,
you know, if, if, if somebody's

1284
00:44:36,095 --> 00:44:39,407
a salesperson, they're always
out on these trips, you know?

1285
00:44:39,407 --> 00:44:39,417
Yeah.

1286
00:44:39,417 --> 00:44:42,844
And they're always in hotels and
things like that, and they ha-

1287
00:44:42,853 --> 00:44:44,322
it's their job to be friendly.

1288
00:44:44,395 --> 00:44:44,938
It is.

1289
00:44:45,017 --> 00:44:47,556
And so, you know, one
thing leads to another.

1290
00:44:47,598 --> 00:44:49,040
It can go, it can, it
can go- Yeah … yeah.

1291
00:44:49,316 --> 00:44:49,784
Gotta watch it.

1292
00:44:49,784 --> 00:44:50,039
I don't know.

1293
00:44:50,039 --> 00:44:51,138
That's- You gotta calm yourself.

1294
00:44:51,201 --> 00:44:51,797
I don't know.

1295
00:44:51,809 --> 00:44:53,024
Don't… I'm, I'm sorry, guys.

1296
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:55,225
I'm, if you're a salesperson,
I'm not outing you here.

1297
00:44:55,226 --> 00:44:58,193
I'm just saying that's the
thing from what I was told.

1298
00:44:58,252 --> 00:45:03,994
I mean You gotta live Yeah You got to.

1299
00:45:04,019 --> 00:45:04,509
Yeah.

1300
00:45:04,693 --> 00:45:05,289
I guess.

1301
00:45:05,314 --> 00:45:06,068
I guess so.

1302
00:45:06,458 --> 00:45:08,829
Now, has there ever been a
time that I've been flirted

1303
00:45:08,829 --> 00:45:10,120
with in front- Yes … of you?

1304
00:45:10,382 --> 00:45:10,704
Yes.

1305
00:45:10,704 --> 00:45:13,148
And, and just like, like
you were like, "Hello.

1306
00:45:13,302 --> 00:45:14,021
Like, I'm here.

1307
00:45:14,273 --> 00:45:14,873
I'm right here.

1308
00:45:14,933 --> 00:45:16,004
Hello." Yeah, I'm sure.

1309
00:45:16,789 --> 00:45:17,272
I'm sure?

1310
00:45:17,295 --> 00:45:18,178
I'm sure you have.

1311
00:45:18,252 --> 00:45:18,564
Yeah?

1312
00:45:18,649 --> 00:45:19,010
Yeah.

1313
00:45:19,444 --> 00:45:19,845
Yeah.

1314
00:45:20,303 --> 00:45:21,283
That's just your thing, though.

1315
00:45:21,305 --> 00:45:25,481
I, I used to get really insecure and
jealous about it, but- That's my thing?

1316
00:45:25,727 --> 00:45:26,195
That's your thing.

1317
00:45:26,195 --> 00:45:27,612
If somebody's flirted with me?

1318
00:45:27,723 --> 00:45:28,962
Yeah, you're flirty.

1319
00:45:29,294 --> 00:45:29,946
You're flirty.

1320
00:45:29,946 --> 00:45:32,197
But if… I'm, I'm asking- If
someone flirts with you … if

1321
00:45:32,197 --> 00:45:32,423
somebody flirted with me.

1322
00:45:32,423 --> 00:45:34,482
I'm not talking about me
flirting with somebody else.

1323
00:45:34,483 --> 00:45:37,908
I'm talking about- You- … is there a, a,
was there a time where somebody has been

1324
00:45:37,954 --> 00:45:42,435
openly flirting with me and you noticed
it and been like, "What the fuck, bro?"

1325
00:45:42,443 --> 00:45:42,943
Yes.

1326
00:45:43,343 --> 00:45:45,209
When we first started,
remember we went to the club?

1327
00:45:45,697 --> 00:45:46,968
And- I'm talking about
in the vanilla world.

1328
00:45:47,003 --> 00:45:47,339
Oh.

1329
00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:47,751
Yeah.

1330
00:45:48,258 --> 00:45:48,589
Really?

1331
00:45:48,589 --> 00:45:49,043
I'm sure.

1332
00:45:49,098 --> 00:45:49,988
Waitresses.

1333
00:45:50,269 --> 00:45:50,679
Yeah.

1334
00:45:50,710 --> 00:45:53,098
You're… I'm telling you, you are
fucking- But it, that's not flirting.

1335
00:45:53,098 --> 00:45:54,648
We just said that's polite.

1336
00:45:54,714 --> 00:45:55,935
That is politeness.

1337
00:45:57,251 --> 00:45:57,750
No.

1338
00:45:58,576 --> 00:45:59,100
All right.

1339
00:45:59,515 --> 00:45:59,933
There you go.

1340
00:45:59,945 --> 00:46:00,147
See?

1341
00:46:00,152 --> 00:46:01,068
Nobody flirts with me.

1342
00:46:01,308 --> 00:46:06,006
I don't think I've ever noticed
somebody flirting with you in front

1343
00:46:06,007 --> 00:46:08,029
of me and me being ignored, no.

1344
00:46:08,158 --> 00:46:08,529
Hmm.

1345
00:46:08,781 --> 00:46:09,205
Mm-mm.

1346
00:46:09,452 --> 00:46:09,621
Hmm.

1347
00:46:10,338 --> 00:46:11,477
Has it ever happened to me?

1348
00:46:11,507 --> 00:46:11,953
No.

1349
00:46:11,967 --> 00:46:14,515
Dude, you've been flirted with,
like I wasn't there before.

1350
00:46:15,548 --> 00:46:16,155
Really?

1351
00:46:16,168 --> 00:46:16,707
Fuck yeah.

1352
00:46:16,726 --> 00:46:20,203
You know, women are more, when they see
you with a woman, they're very respectful.

1353
00:46:20,271 --> 00:46:20,911
Yeah, that's true.

1354
00:46:20,911 --> 00:46:22,613
Women are very respectful.

1355
00:46:22,635 --> 00:46:23,908
Not all guys are the same, right.

1356
00:46:23,908 --> 00:46:24,935
All guys are not, no.

1357
00:46:24,935 --> 00:46:25,013
No, no.

1358
00:46:25,013 --> 00:46:30,792
But I've seen people, like, give you,
like, the look, and you just be oblivious.

1359
00:46:30,878 --> 00:46:33,870
Or I'll be like, "That chick was flirting
with you." And you'll be like, "Was

1360
00:46:33,870 --> 00:46:38,521
she?" I'm like, "Yes." You gotta tell me
that during, so I know how to respond.

1361
00:46:39,229 --> 00:46:40,458
How are you gonna respond?

1362
00:46:41,396 --> 00:46:45,011
"My wife said you were flirting with
me." You weren't flirting with me.

1363
00:46:45,673 --> 00:46:50,158
"No sir, here's your receipt." Whatever.

1364
00:46:50,171 --> 00:46:50,862
Is your number on it?

1365
00:46:51,311 --> 00:46:51,726
Just kidding.

1366
00:46:51,845 --> 00:46:53,310
Uh, 'cause we don't fucks with vanillas.

1367
00:46:53,589 --> 00:46:54,365
Baby.

1368
00:46:54,401 --> 00:46:55,060
I'm just saying.

1369
00:46:55,119 --> 00:46:56,813
I'm saying we don't… I, I'm telling her.

1370
00:46:56,815 --> 00:46:57,435
Don't get mad at me.

1371
00:46:57,435 --> 00:46:58,923
I'm telling her, the imaginary her.

1372
00:46:59,221 --> 00:47:00,679
We don't fucks with vanilla girl.

1373
00:47:00,759 --> 00:47:01,578
Exactly.

1374
00:47:01,701 --> 00:47:04,091
So just strike out your
number 'cause I ain't calling.

1375
00:47:04,777 --> 00:47:05,424
You know what I'm saying?

1376
00:47:07,204 --> 00:47:09,266
I was just curious about that-
Yeah … because, uh, you know, I,

1377
00:47:09,324 --> 00:47:12,981
I, am pretty oblivious when people
in the vanilla world are flirty.

1378
00:47:13,112 --> 00:47:13,690
Yeah.

1379
00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,953
But- I mean, I think everybody is, right?

1380
00:47:16,123 --> 00:47:16,697
You think so?

1381
00:47:16,697 --> 00:47:16,995
No.

1382
00:47:16,996 --> 00:47:18,815
Actually, I just vanilla
people like vanilla people.

1383
00:47:19,973 --> 00:47:20,413
You think?

1384
00:47:20,433 --> 00:47:20,910
Yes.

1385
00:47:20,958 --> 00:47:27,082
I've had a lot of vanilla people who will
find out that we are non-monogamous and

1386
00:47:27,084 --> 00:47:30,659
go, "I think I wanna try that." Yeah.

1387
00:47:31,528 --> 00:47:35,123
Now, this is where you think that's
a sign that they wanna sleep with

1388
00:47:35,123 --> 00:47:36,983
you, that they wanna try it with us.

1389
00:47:36,984 --> 00:47:37,684
Do you think that?

1390
00:47:37,759 --> 00:47:38,889
No, I've never thought that.

1391
00:47:38,914 --> 00:47:39,233
No?

1392
00:47:39,279 --> 00:47:39,756
No.

1393
00:47:39,824 --> 00:47:40,919
I think- But now I might.

1394
00:47:40,949 --> 00:47:41,356
I don't know.

1395
00:47:41,469 --> 00:47:42,378
Is that a flirt?

1396
00:47:42,409 --> 00:47:44,205
I always thought that you thought that.

1397
00:47:44,452 --> 00:47:44,915
No.

1398
00:47:45,122 --> 00:47:45,629
Yeah.

1399
00:47:45,769 --> 00:47:46,106
No.

1400
00:47:46,106 --> 00:47:51,137
I, I genuinely think that when, when
people talk about it openly a- and they

1401
00:47:51,139 --> 00:47:54,756
s- they, they're interested, like they're
legit- Right … interested in that.

1402
00:47:54,756 --> 00:47:54,766
Yeah.

1403
00:47:54,766 --> 00:47:56,442
Like, tell me more, you know?

1404
00:47:56,442 --> 00:47:56,536
Yeah.

1405
00:47:56,536 --> 00:47:57,246
And that sort of thing.

1406
00:47:57,620 --> 00:48:00,945
I've never really thought of it as
this person wants to sleep with me,

1407
00:48:01,626 --> 00:48:08,782
unless they specifically ask about
my- Oh … personal experiences and-

1408
00:48:08,782 --> 00:48:10,475
Okay … like details and stuff.

1409
00:48:10,509 --> 00:48:10,615
Yeah.

1410
00:48:10,615 --> 00:48:13,367
You know, and then I'm like,
"Why you wanna know?" You

1411
00:48:13,367 --> 00:48:14,578
wanna know, uh, I don't know.

1412
00:48:14,578 --> 00:48:16,006
They're still in vanilla world.

1413
00:48:16,121 --> 00:48:16,587
Right.

1414
00:48:16,625 --> 00:48:18,249
No, and that's what I would say.

1415
00:48:18,253 --> 00:48:21,147
And what happens in- I'd be like,
"Well, you wanna know? Sorry, I

1416
00:48:21,149 --> 00:48:23,809
can't tell you 'cause we don't fucks
with the vanilla." That's right.

1417
00:48:23,812 --> 00:48:24,939
You know what I'm saying?

1418
00:48:24,939 --> 00:48:24,949
Yeah.

1419
00:48:24,949 --> 00:48:25,843
We don't fuck, we don't do that.

1420
00:48:25,857 --> 00:48:26,586
No.

1421
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:27,735
We, uh, we don't like to blend.

1422
00:48:27,735 --> 00:48:27,755
Sorry, girl.

1423
00:48:27,755 --> 00:48:28,350
Turn around.

1424
00:48:28,388 --> 00:48:28,901
That's right.

1425
00:48:28,902 --> 00:48:29,167
Or walk away.

1426
00:48:29,411 --> 00:48:33,207
But then again, and this is the, this
is the issue that I've always had,

1427
00:48:33,229 --> 00:48:34,272
'cause we always say that, right?

1428
00:48:34,283 --> 00:48:35,094
What's the issue, baby?

1429
00:48:35,094 --> 00:48:35,964
I can fix it right now.

1430
00:48:35,964 --> 00:48:36,226
No, no, no.

1431
00:48:36,226 --> 00:48:38,883
Well, I, maybe issue's
not a great word to use.

1432
00:48:39,415 --> 00:48:40,635
Calmate por favor.

1433
00:48:40,723 --> 00:48:45,436
But this is the part that always has
been a, a little thing in, in my head.

1434
00:48:45,436 --> 00:48:45,456
Okay.

1435
00:48:45,456 --> 00:48:48,892
Because yeah, we, we say, "Well,
I'm sorry." If somebody from the

1436
00:48:48,893 --> 00:48:52,166
vanilla world is showing interest
and we're like, "Sorry, yo, but

1437
00:48:52,166 --> 00:48:53,465
we don't do that." We don't.

1438
00:48:53,478 --> 00:48:55,782
"No, turn around. Walk away."
'Cause we don't fuck with- 'Cause

1439
00:48:55,784 --> 00:48:57,117
we don't fucks with vanilla, right?

1440
00:48:57,172 --> 00:48:57,446
Right.

1441
00:48:57,486 --> 00:49:02,304
But, but how is somebody from the
vanilla world supposed to cross over

1442
00:49:02,304 --> 00:49:06,232
into the new world if they don't have
somebody there to maybe mentor them

1443
00:49:06,233 --> 00:49:10,158
a little bit and go, "Hey, you should
establish rules and boundaries first"?

1444
00:49:10,217 --> 00:49:10,685
Yes.

1445
00:49:12,125 --> 00:49:12,542
Yes what?

1446
00:49:12,714 --> 00:49:14,263
Yes, just like that.

1447
00:49:14,639 --> 00:49:14,926
Yeah?

1448
00:49:14,993 --> 00:49:16,086
Yeah, just like that.

1449
00:49:16,144 --> 00:49:18,581
But then, but then- You still don't
have… You still don't … you know, you

1450
00:49:18,583 --> 00:49:22,744
become like a mentor of them, and then all
of a sudden it's, it's kind of unethical

1451
00:49:22,745 --> 00:49:24,877
if you were to go, "Hey, so, uh"- Don't.

1452
00:49:24,927 --> 00:49:25,506
You don't.

1453
00:49:25,583 --> 00:49:31,121
No "You want your first experience"-
No … "to be with a semi-tall fa- guy?

1454
00:49:31,158 --> 00:49:33,698
I got you." No, because we
don't fuck with vanilla.

1455
00:49:34,072 --> 00:49:36,944
Right, but in that moment, would they-
They're still vanilla … be vanilla?

1456
00:49:36,953 --> 00:49:37,570
I think so.

1457
00:49:37,594 --> 00:49:41,090
What makes a person go from
vanilla to, to lifestyle?

1458
00:49:41,158 --> 00:49:44,902
Like, do they gotta cross a bridge and
get an arrow of light like the scouts?

1459
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:45,548
Yes.

1460
00:49:45,552 --> 00:49:46,204
Stop it.

1461
00:49:46,778 --> 00:49:49,039
I mean, I think- Do they cross
the stage and get a diploma?

1462
00:49:49,061 --> 00:49:54,757
I think being in the lifestyle a little
longer won't make you vanilla anymore.

1463
00:49:54,942 --> 00:49:55,370
Really?

1464
00:49:55,373 --> 00:49:56,997
So you're putting a, a timeline on that?

1465
00:49:56,997 --> 00:49:57,017
I am.

1466
00:49:57,051 --> 00:49:57,829
What, what, what is the timeline?

1467
00:49:57,831 --> 00:49:59,035
Because, like, I, I don't, I don't know.

1468
00:49:59,036 --> 00:50:02,741
So, like, I know some people that
are, like, lifestyle, and then

1469
00:50:02,741 --> 00:50:05,028
they find a monogamous person,
and then they're monogamous.

1470
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,177
And then they break up, and
then now they're lifestyle.

1471
00:50:08,082 --> 00:50:09,635
That's just kind of a turn-off.

1472
00:50:10,062 --> 00:50:10,490
Is it?

1473
00:50:10,619 --> 00:50:11,158
It is.

1474
00:50:11,234 --> 00:50:11,594
Why?

1475
00:50:11,919 --> 00:50:12,905
Because it's like, pick.

1476
00:50:13,685 --> 00:50:13,994
Pick?

1477
00:50:13,999 --> 00:50:15,014
Pick and choose, dude.

1478
00:50:15,550 --> 00:50:18,760
Well, you know, some, some people,
you know, are, are just… They'll

1479
00:50:18,763 --> 00:50:20,134
go with whatever they're feeling.

1480
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:21,325
Yeah.

1481
00:50:21,649 --> 00:50:22,022
I don't know.

1482
00:50:22,095 --> 00:50:23,724
You're still lifestyle inside your head.

1483
00:50:24,885 --> 00:50:27,729
So, a- and that, that's
an ethical issue, right?

1484
00:50:28,029 --> 00:50:28,194
You're lifestyle.

1485
00:50:28,194 --> 00:50:31,037
I feel- So if you're in a monogamous
relationship, but internally- You

1486
00:50:31,152 --> 00:50:33,880
are … and mentally, you're lifestyle.

1487
00:50:33,904 --> 00:50:38,105
You are spanking it to whoever you
were flirting with in the lifestyle.

1488
00:50:38,115 --> 00:50:39,038
And what is that, cheating?

1489
00:50:39,536 --> 00:50:40,161
Yes.

1490
00:50:40,220 --> 00:50:40,821
What?

1491
00:50:41,351 --> 00:50:42,036
Is that cheating?

1492
00:50:42,036 --> 00:50:43,857
If you talk about it, yeah.

1493
00:50:44,024 --> 00:50:47,668
Well, I mean, to- If you're in a mon-
if you're in a monogamous relationship-

1494
00:50:47,691 --> 00:50:51,004
And you're jacking it … and you're
jacking it to thoughts of another woman.

1495
00:50:51,094 --> 00:50:52,202
Yes, that's cheating.

1496
00:50:52,271 --> 00:50:53,169
That's cheating?

1497
00:50:53,169 --> 00:50:53,402
Yes.

1498
00:50:53,946 --> 00:50:55,185
Holy shit.

1499
00:50:55,211 --> 00:50:55,565
Yes.

1500
00:50:55,660 --> 00:50:57,071
I'm a serial cheater.

1501
00:50:57,107 --> 00:51:01,226
Yes I'm so glad I'm non-monogamous
now so that I'm not cheating.

1502
00:51:01,398 --> 00:51:01,761
Yeah.

1503
00:51:01,958 --> 00:51:03,906
Not cheating and and
my wife watches, right?

1504
00:51:03,954 --> 00:51:04,789
That's right.

1505
00:51:04,832 --> 00:51:05,745
Imagine- I like watching.

1506
00:51:05,776 --> 00:51:06,400
I know.

1507
00:51:06,414 --> 00:51:07,359
You're crazy, girl.

1508
00:51:08,014 --> 00:51:08,969
No, but you know what?

1509
00:51:09,004 --> 00:51:12,340
I, I don't know if I agree with you.

1510
00:51:12,341 --> 00:51:15,699
Actually, I can tell you for sure I
don't agree with you on that, and I'm

1511
00:51:15,702 --> 00:51:18,980
sure the, uh, half the people who are
listening are gonna agree with you, half

1512
00:51:18,981 --> 00:51:20,543
the people are gonna r- agree with me.

1513
00:51:20,593 --> 00:51:21,033
I hope.

1514
00:51:21,033 --> 00:51:21,490
With what part?

1515
00:51:21,782 --> 00:51:26,029
I, I, I don't think that masturbating to
the thought of somebody else is cheating.

1516
00:51:26,232 --> 00:51:26,726
I'm sorry.

1517
00:51:26,726 --> 00:51:27,588
I mean, it is.

1518
00:51:27,614 --> 00:51:28,441
It's a lust.

1519
00:51:28,739 --> 00:51:29,057
It's a want.

1520
00:51:29,057 --> 00:51:29,494
It's a lust.

1521
00:51:29,710 --> 00:51:33,194
It's… I- if that's the case, almost
every single person in a monogamous

1522
00:51:33,199 --> 00:51:36,410
relationship- Has cheated … has
cheated- Yes … in one way or another.

1523
00:51:36,434 --> 00:51:37,109
Yes, they have.

1524
00:51:37,249 --> 00:51:39,783
Well, then what the hell are
we even doing with monogamy?

1525
00:51:39,783 --> 00:51:40,843
It depends on your relationship.

1526
00:51:40,882 --> 00:51:43,608
I mean, men don't go around
saying, "I jack it off." Men

1527
00:51:43,609 --> 00:51:44,794
are very private about that.

1528
00:51:45,939 --> 00:51:46,815
I used to be real private like that.

1529
00:51:46,815 --> 00:51:47,365
Yeah.

1530
00:51:48,283 --> 00:51:48,615
Yeah.

1531
00:51:48,672 --> 00:51:49,399
There you go.

1532
00:51:50,050 --> 00:51:51,076
That was my special time.

1533
00:51:51,149 --> 00:51:51,677
Yes.

1534
00:51:51,700 --> 00:51:55,110
You know, you're not gonna go
to your, to your, to your last,

1535
00:51:55,132 --> 00:51:58,312
to your last relationship and be
like, "Ace and jacket to Pris."

1536
00:51:58,538 --> 00:51:59,165
No.

1537
00:51:59,458 --> 00:52:04,156
So, so, like, getting off to
porn is considered cheating?

1538
00:52:04,166 --> 00:52:05,468
Yes, to some people.

1539
00:52:05,468 --> 00:52:06,699
Get the fuck out of here.

1540
00:52:06,702 --> 00:52:07,246
Yes.

1541
00:52:07,246 --> 00:52:07,256
Really?

1542
00:52:07,271 --> 00:52:07,886
Yes.

1543
00:52:08,083 --> 00:52:08,325
Girl.

1544
00:52:09,109 --> 00:52:10,358
Not to me, but yes.

1545
00:52:10,392 --> 00:52:11,586
Oh my gosh.

1546
00:52:12,607 --> 00:52:14,974
That is just- Sad … horrible.

1547
00:52:14,974 --> 00:52:15,310
I know.

1548
00:52:15,326 --> 00:52:17,692
I can't even- I mean- … with that, no.

1549
00:52:18,010 --> 00:52:19,341
Yeah, I don't, I don't agree with that.

1550
00:52:19,982 --> 00:52:20,473
I don't agree.

1551
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:25,258
Sorry, but I am a chronic masturbator,
and I don't agree with that.

1552
00:52:25,353 --> 00:52:28,232
I mean, it's, for a monogamous
person, I feel like they

1553
00:52:28,232 --> 00:52:30,029
would really find it… Yes.

1554
00:52:30,126 --> 00:52:30,854
I used to.

1555
00:52:31,828 --> 00:52:31,863
Right.

1556
00:52:31,863 --> 00:52:34,924
But then I never had sex, so, like,
they wouldn't have sex with me.

1557
00:52:35,007 --> 00:52:35,765
Uh, well, see, that's different.

1558
00:52:35,784 --> 00:52:37,636
That's different, but I would
still think it's cheating.

1559
00:52:37,661 --> 00:52:38,511
It's still cheating.

1560
00:52:39,205 --> 00:52:41,352
I w- I, I guess it really- Especially
if you keep it and I find out

1561
00:52:41,352 --> 00:52:43,959
it really depends on the
agreement that- Yeah … you

1562
00:52:43,962 --> 00:52:45,279
guys have on your relationship.

1563
00:52:45,279 --> 00:52:45,623
Yeah.

1564
00:52:45,684 --> 00:52:49,163
You know, because I, I can see that,
like, if it's openly said ahead of

1565
00:52:49,163 --> 00:52:52,232
time, like- Yeah … we're getting
together and you straight-up tell me,

1566
00:52:52,254 --> 00:52:57,363
"Yeah, so this is my opinion on this."
I don't like when you masturbate.

1567
00:52:57,666 --> 00:53:00,573
I don't like when you masturbate
Unless you're masturbating to my porn.

1568
00:53:00,580 --> 00:53:01,307
While eating candies.

1569
00:53:01,529 --> 00:53:06,466
Yeah, you know, like, would it, it'd
be okay to masturbate to you, my wife.

1570
00:53:06,466 --> 00:53:06,495
Yes.

1571
00:53:06,519 --> 00:53:11,755
But it wouldn't be okay to masturbate
to other women, even if, if they're,

1572
00:53:12,073 --> 00:53:14,408
there's not a chance I could ever meet
them because there- Correct … may be a

1573
00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,302
celebrity crush or a porn or something.

1574
00:53:16,310 --> 00:53:16,481
Yeah.

1575
00:53:16,481 --> 00:53:16,790
Yeah, no.

1576
00:53:17,166 --> 00:53:19,723
It's the thought of you sleeping
with somebody else that's the cheat.

1577
00:53:19,723 --> 00:53:20,763
Lusting after some- I know.

1578
00:53:21,032 --> 00:53:22,697
You bunch of fucking cheaters.

1579
00:53:22,736 --> 00:53:23,092
Man.

1580
00:53:23,589 --> 00:53:24,954
How many times y'all cheated?

1581
00:53:24,970 --> 00:53:26,705
Oh, my God.

1582
00:53:26,969 --> 00:53:28,631
You bunch of cheaters.

1583
00:53:28,672 --> 00:53:30,352
Monogamous cheaters.

1584
00:53:30,621 --> 00:53:31,541
Sorry, I'm just kidding.

1585
00:53:31,627 --> 00:53:33,361
I mean, not really, but kinda.

1586
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,767
You know, I think that's
a, an interesting point.

1587
00:53:36,826 --> 00:53:40,662
Like I said, I, I don't agree with
it, but you are right in the fact

1588
00:53:40,663 --> 00:53:42,732
that everybody has their own dynamics.

1589
00:53:42,737 --> 00:53:42,747
Mm-hmm.

1590
00:53:42,747 --> 00:53:44,612
They have their own relationship rules.

1591
00:53:44,650 --> 00:53:44,660
Mm-hmm.

1592
00:53:44,660 --> 00:53:49,365
And, uh, you know, people are very, very
stringent about stuff like that sometimes

1593
00:53:49,366 --> 00:53:51,406
in the- Yeah … in the monogamy world.

1594
00:53:51,478 --> 00:53:52,392
In the vanilla world.

1595
00:53:52,404 --> 00:53:53,261
In the vanilla world.

1596
00:53:54,114 --> 00:53:58,830
But yeah, I guess when it comes down
to it, lifestyle brain's a thing.

1597
00:53:58,959 --> 00:53:59,605
Of course.

1598
00:53:59,752 --> 00:54:00,003
Yeah.

1599
00:54:00,602 --> 00:54:00,933
Of course.

1600
00:54:00,936 --> 00:54:01,031
Lifestyle brain's a thing.

1601
00:54:01,031 --> 00:54:04,096
I mean, when you tell… So what
about when you tell somebody

1602
00:54:04,097 --> 00:54:05,555
that you're a lifestyler?

1603
00:54:06,455 --> 00:54:07,266
Does it- Who's vanilla?

1604
00:54:07,296 --> 00:54:07,908
Does… Yeah.

1605
00:54:07,909 --> 00:54:08,956
Does it get flirty?

1606
00:54:09,004 --> 00:54:10,636
I have had that happen before.

1607
00:54:10,718 --> 00:54:10,738
Same.

1608
00:54:10,738 --> 00:54:11,753
I've had that happen, yeah.

1609
00:54:11,753 --> 00:54:13,227
I've had that happen before.

1610
00:54:14,185 --> 00:54:19,770
Oftentim- I've had it happen one way or
the other, where a woman will find out

1611
00:54:19,770 --> 00:54:26,020
that I'm a swinger, and they'll either get
flirty or they'll, like, get really cold.

1612
00:54:26,318 --> 00:54:27,660
And you see… And are they vanilla?

1613
00:54:27,933 --> 00:54:28,184
Yeah.

1614
00:54:28,507 --> 00:54:33,402
So the vanilla person that gets
flirty, do you think she thinks cheaty?

1615
00:54:33,481 --> 00:54:36,848
I think that she thinks, "Oh,
it's okay if he fucks me." Yeah.

1616
00:54:37,238 --> 00:54:38,295
There's not gonna be any drama.

1617
00:54:38,548 --> 00:54:38,644
Ha.

1618
00:54:38,644 --> 00:54:41,203
I mean, I mean, that- Yeah … that's,
that's the thing that's gone through my

1619
00:54:41,204 --> 00:54:43,191
mind 'cause I've overthought this before.

1620
00:54:43,328 --> 00:54:43,357
Yeah.

1621
00:54:43,357 --> 00:54:44,854
And that's, and that's- It's
like, what's the thought there?

1622
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:46,197
So that's a thought I thought.

1623
00:54:46,340 --> 00:54:46,566
Yeah.

1624
00:54:46,610 --> 00:54:49,568
And I think that's w- that's
the one reason it's like, "Nah,"

1625
00:54:49,586 --> 00:54:53,139
because you don't understand ethical
non-monogamy, 'cause you're vanilla.

1626
00:54:53,450 --> 00:54:53,713
Yeah.

1627
00:54:53,805 --> 00:54:54,924
You can't have this dick.

1628
00:54:55,109 --> 00:54:55,829
That's a good point.

1629
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:57,627
Whatever.

1630
00:54:57,913 --> 00:54:59,006
So that's lifestyle brain.

1631
00:54:59,428 --> 00:54:59,714
Yeah.

1632
00:54:59,761 --> 00:55:03,702
If you've ever caught yourself mid-flirt
at a bank, the gym, or the kids' soccer

1633
00:55:03,705 --> 00:55:06,265
game, we wanna hear about it, okay?

1634
00:55:07,210 --> 00:55:10,342
Do you wanna hear about his
mid-flirt at the, at the gym ? Don't,

1635
00:55:10,452 --> 00:55:11,594
yeah, no . All right, guys.

1636
00:55:11,629 --> 00:55:16,691
Well, head on over to
www.beyond-monogamy.com and drop it

1637
00:55:16,703 --> 00:55:19,094
in our 100% anonymous confessional.

1638
00:55:19,105 --> 00:55:23,262
Lifestyle stories, ENM questions,
kink thoughts, anything you wanna

1639
00:55:23,262 --> 00:55:25,087
talk about the show, anything at all.

1640
00:55:25,130 --> 00:55:26,182
Nobody will know it's you.

1641
00:55:26,324 --> 00:55:26,620
Yeah.

1642
00:55:26,785 --> 00:55:28,638
And we might read yours
on a future quickie.

1643
00:55:28,692 --> 00:55:29,232
Totally.

1644
00:55:29,234 --> 00:55:31,427
And while you're on the
site, check out our merch.

1645
00:55:31,846 --> 00:55:34,068
This lady has come up with
all sorts of cool stuff.

1646
00:55:34,630 --> 00:55:38,785
All of our episodes are on that
website, even the audio ones.

1647
00:55:38,785 --> 00:55:41,547
That's right, we used to have
audio ones, and our blog.

1648
00:55:41,587 --> 00:55:44,335
Plus, you can catch us every
Thursday at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM

1649
00:55:44,338 --> 00:55:46,544
Central on fullswapradio.com.

1650
00:55:46,702 --> 00:55:47,077
Yeah.

1651
00:55:47,129 --> 00:55:50,495
And if you're local to Austin,
come hang out with us in person.

1652
00:55:50,495 --> 00:55:54,289
We're hosting a Swinger 101 workshop
on November 15th at Forbidden Fruit.

1653
00:55:54,625 --> 00:55:58,791
It's 20 bucks a person with the light
refreshments, and it's perfect if

1654
00:55:58,848 --> 00:56:01,225
you're curious or just getting started.

1655
00:56:01,242 --> 00:56:02,692
Ooh, that sounds shucksha.

1656
00:56:02,769 --> 00:56:03,433
Shucksha.

1657
00:56:03,532 --> 00:56:04,242
Shucksha.

1658
00:56:04,580 --> 00:56:07,578
And looking ahead, Krazy Winter
Nights in Kansas City, Missouri, is

1659
00:56:07,578 --> 00:56:11,089
February 19th through the 21st of 2027.

1660
00:56:11,142 --> 00:56:12,396
We will be there.

1661
00:56:12,699 --> 00:56:14,140
We will be doing a live show out there.

1662
00:56:14,140 --> 00:56:18,204
You can come out, hang out with us,
and, uh, you know, do that whole

1663
00:56:18,472 --> 00:56:19,833
hanging out with Pris and Adam thing.

1664
00:56:19,841 --> 00:56:22,245
Grab your tickets at krazykasbh.com.

1665
00:56:22,247 --> 00:56:25,214
That should be showing right here, and
you can catch it in our show notes.

1666
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:29,781
Use the discount code Beyomono,
B-E-Y-O-M-O-N-O, for a discount.

1667
00:56:29,843 --> 00:56:30,803
There you go.

1668
00:56:30,834 --> 00:56:33,682
And speaking of finding your
people, if your lifestyle brain

1669
00:56:33,688 --> 00:56:37,151
needs somewhere to go, SDC is
where we tell everyone to start.

1670
00:56:37,450 --> 00:56:40,413
Use code 38236 when you sign up.

1671
00:56:40,504 --> 00:56:43,747
Yeah, and all our sponsor links
and codes are in the show notes.

1672
00:56:43,773 --> 00:56:47,481
Every one of them helps keep the show
going, so go show them some love too.

1673
00:56:48,095 --> 00:56:51,199
And with that, we thank you all
for joining us for another episode,

1674
00:56:51,222 --> 00:56:52,752
and we will see you guys next week.

1675
00:56:52,835 --> 00:56:53,516
Bye.