Shibari & Rope Bondage for Couples with Travis of Shibari Sessions

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All right, y'all.

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Before we dive in, a quick
heads-up This show is raw, real,

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and definitely not rated PG.

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We're talking about adult themes,
sexual content, and the kinda stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kids.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice, and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear,
we are not licensed therapists,

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counselors, or sex couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches.

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Not sex couches.

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We're just a couple of people sharing
our lives, experiences, and sexy

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adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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Hello and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today we're getting tied up in
one of those most beautiful, most

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understood corners of the kink world.

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We're talking Shibari, Japanese
inspired rope bondage, and we brought

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in someone who actually knows what
he's doing with a rope in his hands.

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Joining us is Travis of Shibari Sessions.

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Travis teaches rope, builds community
around it, and treats it as an art form,

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a connection tool, and let's be honest,
a really hot way to spend an evening.

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Yeah, it is pretty hot.

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We're gonna get into how he found rope,
what makes Shibari different from just

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tying someone to the bedpost, how consent
and safety actually work when someone is

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suspended off the ground, and how couples
in the lifestyle can bring rope into

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their play without ending up in the ER.

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Yes.

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And trust me, Travis has stories.

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You don't wanna miss this one.

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That's right.

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Quick favor though, before we
untangle any of this No pun intended.

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free and it genuinely helps the show grow.

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Follow the show and leave us
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know you frigging love us, guys.

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It takes 10 seconds, and it's how
new curious couples will find us.

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Yes.

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And if this episode gets you thinking,
head on to beyond-monogamy.com

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and drop us a message in the
100% anonymous confessional.

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We read every single one.

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That's right.

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All right, Travis, you're up to bat.

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Welcome to Beyond Monogamy.

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Yeah, welcome.

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Thank you, guys.

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I appreciate it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, yeah.

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We're so glad you're here.

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You know, we are excited.

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You came actually, uh, highly
recommended through our buddies, uh,

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at the, the Kinky Bros. Kinky Bros.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah.

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I've known Griff for, uh,
five going on six years now.

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Okay.

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And then of course
through him, his brother.

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Yeah.

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W- and Griff and I are in the same, uh,
kink family, so the Houston kink family.

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Awesome.

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That's so cool.

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That's so cool.

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We are super excited.

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Like, uh, we, we met them and then they
just, they were raving about you, and I

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was like, "We gotta have him on the show."

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Well, she's, she's always been
fascinated by, uh, Shibari, and we

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didn't… Honestly, it took us several
years before we even knew the word.

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Yeah.

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We had actually seen rope
play and stuff like that, and

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she thought it was very sexy.

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I personally, I don't
know if I could do it.

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I would look like one of those
honey baked hams that are in-

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like the mesh, you know?

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Just pop out, you know?

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But, uh- You know, I normally
hear it the other way around.

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Normally people are like, "I don't
know if I can tie the ropes." And,

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and I… Everybody can learn it.

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It looks complicated at first, and
it's one of those things that you

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do it two or three times, and when
you get it, you absolutely get it.

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Like, it, it, it looks like
magic, and then it's so easy.

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Yeah.

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Well, you know, I gotta say,
I was a Cub Scout, so I know

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a thing or two about knots.

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So how did you get into this?

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You know, I, I started the way a
lot of people do, is I was at a kink

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conference, and they always, almost
every single one of them have a ropes

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101 class over and over and over.

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And I don't even remember
who taught the class.

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It's been about seven years now.

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Seven years, I think, in November.

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Claw in LA.

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I think it's Leather Getaway
is what they call it in LA.

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And so I took a 101 class, and normally
people are like, "Oh, and did you just,

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like, fall in love with it?" And, like,
truth is, like, no, you, you don't

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learn enough in a 101 class to be like,
"Oh my God, I wanna do this forever."

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Yeah.

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You know?

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You know.

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But I did think it was interesting,
and interesting enough that, you

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know, I, I took the next step that
most people have to take, is, like, I

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went online, and they have, you know,
different online resources out there

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that some are better than others.

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But, you know, you learn bits and pieces.

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And then I was fortunate enough that
I met some really, really amazing

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riggers in Seattle and New York.

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Rope, Sweat, and Tears in Seattle is, is
one of them who helped me quite a bit.

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And, and he's been doing it,
gosh, I don't know, 15, 20 years.

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And, and so I, you know, got a lot
of one-on-one attention that it…

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a lot of people don't get.

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Which kinda led me to, to what I do now,
where I want to be able to- people to

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actually be able to take classes and have
a, a more structured, uh, way to learn

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and not have to go online and just, you
know, try to learn one, one tie at a time.

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Now that you know we started
with asking you how you got

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into it, what is Shibari anyway?

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Yeah, I mean- Well- Really … so
that, that, that's kind of a,

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a, a long story and a short one.

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So, you know, Shibari has both
been around for a g- over 500

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years, and it's kinda brand new.

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It, it started off as a martial arts
in, in Japan and- Oh, wow … you

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know, j- right next door to the, the
samurai, and so the way they would tie

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prisoners, and that was, uh, denotated,
like, if they were of a certain rank or

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what crime they did, things like that.

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Um, and then, you know, as samurai
went away, feudal lords went away,

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it became kinbaku, um, which was the
w- which was more the artistic side.

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Um, as well, as well as the sexy
side, but more the artistic side.

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And then, um, Japan got very conservative
in the, the 80s, uh, ish, got very

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conservative and started shutting
down a lot of pu- publications, uh,

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that were, that were featuring this.

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And so they started shipping all
those publications to the US.

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And so whenever it came to the US,
people here don't read Japanese, and

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so they- Uh-huh … saw, you know,
kinbaku quite a bit, but then they saw

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Shibari, Shibari, Shibari, Shibari.

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And I guess because it sounds a little
bit better, but they saw it just as much,

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they thought that that's what it was
called, and Shibari just means to tie.

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And so that's what we
adopted here in the US.

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Some of Japan has adopted it as
well because Japanese, uh, adopt

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a lot of Western culture back.

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And so, you know, some, uh, uh,
people in Japan call it as well.

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So that's how it kind of
got here to where we are.

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Uh, in the US, most of what you see is
kind of a mix between, uh, traditional

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kinbaku and, and kind of Western ropes
is what, you know, Western-style ropes.

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Wow.

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Now, i- is there… And I don't know,
i- is there a difference between Shibari

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and, and rope bondage, or is that- Uh, so
Shibari would be a subset of rope bondage.

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Okay.

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So rope bondage can mean
a lot of different things.

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So, you know, rope bondage, there's
Western ropes, you know, w- Western-style

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ropes, and so that's kind of, you know,
what a, a lot of people are familiar

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with in, like, CNC and stuff like that.

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It's kind of Western, uh, style
ropes or consensual, non-consenting.

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Um, that's kinda Western-style ropes.

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And then Shibari, you
know, is more specific.

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But really, it's, it's all become
kind of, uh- Kind of amalgamized.

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It, it's become very, very mixed, where,
you know, I, I don't think anybody I

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know is, like, super, super traditional.

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Of course, those lines still exist.

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Mm-hmm.

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There's actually re- uh, some really
cool, uh, resources out there where you

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can follow those almost heritages of rope
teachers, uh, you know, over, over the

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years and the more traditional lines.

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But that's not what's super,
super common out there.

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I, I found out about, I guess,
rope play just out of just

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someone, like, talking about it.

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Now, I've seen it.

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I've seen pictures, and I think
that would be the, the kib-

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what did you say it was called?

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Kib- Kimbaku.

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Kimbaku.

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But, you know, but, but Shibari.

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That's a- Yeah … that's a- So I, I
enjoy watching or enjoy seeing when

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it's artistic, when- Mm-hmm … like,
one of my things is I wanna get

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that done in, like, rainbow rope
and just take pictures with that.

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Okay.

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But I've also seen it where it's like
people are Just off of like hooks on

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the, on like the ceiling and just kinda
dangling Well, that, that can be- And

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kind of- That can be artistic as well.

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You know- Okay … I don't know
if you checked out my stuff.

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A lot of my stuff is suspension
and, and it's, and it's art.

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Uh, you know, I did one of the first like
real shoots that I did, I- Okay … I was

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just kind of getting to where I was kinda
putting my stuff out there as, as art.

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My photography kinda sucked, and
a, a photographer reached out to

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me, and his name's Robert Presser.

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He's in Austin.

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Uh, reached out and he said,
"Hey, I really love your work.

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I'd love to shoot it." And I was
like, "That would be so cool." And

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so he was like, "I'm in Austin.

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Is there any way you could come up this
way?" And I said, "Sure." You know,

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it's a two-hour drive from Hou- two
and a half hour drive from Houston.

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Um, and we talked, and he was like, "Yeah,
I have a place set up. I've got models."

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And I show up, and it's
this renovated barn.

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It's huge.

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It's renovated for like
weddings and stuff.

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Oh.

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Huge barn.

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There's two photographers.

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There's a videographer.

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There's five models.

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There's multiple setups.

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Like, he'd gone like all out
for this, for this photo shoot.

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So I really kinda started off you know,
started off really, really strong with

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that side, but that was mostly suspension.

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I had somebody, a good friend of mine,
Rob, suspended from these 20-foot

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rafters, uh, down, and he was in cowboy
gear- … with cowboy boots- Wow … and,

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and hats and a, and a- Wow … a
bit that I had turned into a gag.

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So like it, you know, even the
suspension is very artistic, and all,

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most of my stuff's very art forward.

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I, I do rope bondage in my play,
but I kinda tell people, I'm

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like, "It can either be pretty or
it can be sexy." Because like if

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I'm gonna make it pretty, I'm not
gonna pay attention to you as much.

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Like, I just can't.

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Yeah.

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I can't, I can't drive two trains at once.

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So, uh, so it can either, either
be pretty or it can be sexy.

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Uh, it's hard for me to do both.

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Mm-hmm.

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But, uh, but yeah.

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I mean, it, it's very art forward for me.

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I would probably say like 95% of,
uh, of the rope I do is for artistic.

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Uh, you know, I tie a ton
of people, over 100 a year.

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Wow.

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And, and, you know, of those, you know, I,
I maybe, maybe I'm like sexual with a few.

227
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:56,309
Less with- Yeah.

228
00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:56,818
Yeah.

229
00:09:56,844 --> 00:09:57,195
Yeah.

230
00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:58,089
Oh, wow.

231
00:09:58,109 --> 00:09:59,139
Less than fi- Okay.

232
00:09:59,357 --> 00:09:59,611
Yeah.

233
00:09:59,672 --> 00:10:00,565
That's, that's pretty cool.

234
00:10:00,789 --> 00:10:04,302
That's pretty- Now, you know, I've,
I've heard in the rope scene a, a

235
00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:06,299
term that I was kinda curious about.

236
00:10:06,582 --> 00:10:07,531
Rope drunk.

237
00:10:08,168 --> 00:10:08,873
What, what is that?

238
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:12,344
I've n- I don't know that
I've heard rope drunk.

239
00:10:12,371 --> 00:10:16,515
I mean, so for like rope bottoms or
bunnies- Uh-huh … you know, there's

240
00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:19,553
definitely like a meditative state
and things like that, you know.

241
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:19,565
Yeah.

242
00:10:19,596 --> 00:10:22,206
Similar to, for a lot of
bondage, you know, actually.

243
00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:23,422
A lot of bondage is like that.

244
00:10:23,464 --> 00:10:26,607
And then like edging has that
kind of facet to it as well.

245
00:10:26,907 --> 00:10:29,601
So you know, there, there
is kind of that as well.

246
00:10:29,603 --> 00:10:33,615
And also, you know, rope, uh, well
any, any pressure like that, uh, has an

247
00:10:33,615 --> 00:10:38,900
impact on your parasympathetic nerves,
so you do get kind of a, a nice feeling

248
00:10:38,903 --> 00:10:42,755
from being tied, or a lot of people
do get a nice feeling from being tied.

249
00:10:42,756 --> 00:10:47,053
It's, it's, you know, I actually have
a, I actually have a client that I tie

250
00:10:47,054 --> 00:10:51,114
regularly who they're going through,
you know, kind of something tough, and

251
00:10:51,115 --> 00:10:54,833
you know, it's, it's, you know, it's
not therapy, but for them it, it's,

252
00:10:54,842 --> 00:10:58,109
it's something that's calming and it,
and it, and it is, uh, therapeutic.

253
00:10:58,217 --> 00:11:01,657
Yeah, I, I kinda can see that,
kind of like a compression.

254
00:11:01,669 --> 00:11:01,746
Mm-hmm.

255
00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:04,808
Like when you have a compression blanket
on you or something- Oh, yeah … and

256
00:11:04,808 --> 00:11:06,715
you kinda feel that like tightness.

257
00:11:06,992 --> 00:11:07,173
Yeah.

258
00:11:07,196 --> 00:11:12,042
So you really have to know how
to tie somebody because of those

259
00:11:12,126 --> 00:11:13,589
nerves and stuff like that.

260
00:11:14,421 --> 00:11:15,827
Well, both the good and bad, yeah.

261
00:11:15,964 --> 00:11:19,132
Yeah So- I've seen it to where
it's sexual and women are, like,

262
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:20,870
super tied up and their- Yeah

263
00:11:20,873 --> 00:11:22,809
breasts are almost purple.

264
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:24,474
Oh, yeah, I've seen that before.

265
00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:24,484
Yeah.

266
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:28,334
Like, does it… I mean, wouldn't it cut
off, like, circulation, and like- So,

267
00:11:28,385 --> 00:11:30,668
yeah … or is, I mean, can you untie
them or- There are, there are circulation

268
00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:34,383
issues, and so, you know, there, or
there can be circulation issues, and not

269
00:11:34,384 --> 00:11:36,433
all of it's very intuitive on- Mm-hmm

270
00:11:36,433 --> 00:11:38,682
on what to look for because a
lot of people see, like, color

271
00:11:38,682 --> 00:11:41,025
change, and they're all, they're
like, "Oh, that's, that's bad."

272
00:11:41,082 --> 00:11:42,822
And, and that's not always true.

273
00:11:43,125 --> 00:11:45,930
You know, it's just like, you know, there
are some people who walk out in the sun

274
00:11:45,937 --> 00:11:49,556
for five minutes, and then they're br-
bright red, and it doesn't mean that

275
00:11:49,557 --> 00:11:51,633
they are, you know, super, super burnt.

276
00:11:51,708 --> 00:11:53,139
They just- Mm-hmm … that's
their complexion.

277
00:11:53,494 --> 00:11:56,275
And then there's some people that, you
know, can be out in the sun all day,

278
00:11:56,275 --> 00:11:58,915
and they're, they're not red at all,
and the same kind of applies here.

279
00:11:58,916 --> 00:12:01,325
You know, some people color
change a lot more than others.

280
00:12:01,604 --> 00:12:05,690
You know, some things you can look for is,
you know, i- if there is, like, a dramatic

281
00:12:05,697 --> 00:12:08,799
color change somewhere, especially,
like, white where it's, you know, it's

282
00:12:08,804 --> 00:12:12,983
very, very pale and, and you press it,
and the color doesn't come back, that

283
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,398
means there's not a lot of flow there.

284
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:14,580
Uh-huh.

285
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:19,267
So you, you kinda look for that over
specifically just col- color changes.

286
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,965
And then the same with,
like, numbness and tingling.

287
00:12:21,978 --> 00:12:24,387
You know, numbness and tingling,
you know, people… For one,

288
00:12:24,387 --> 00:12:26,885
it's, it's, it's hard to have body
awareness when you're fully tied.

289
00:12:26,959 --> 00:12:30,035
You know, it, it- Yeah … it, it's, you
know, you're in a position that you're

290
00:12:30,035 --> 00:12:33,623
not normally in, so it's difficult
to have that body awareness anyway.

291
00:12:33,643 --> 00:12:37,664
It, and it's, it's on the rope top or
the, the rigger's responsibility to

292
00:12:37,666 --> 00:12:39,096
kinda be checking for those things.

293
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:41,301
Uh, but, but, you know, whenever
it comes to tingling and numbness,

294
00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:44,493
you know, tingling can be a warning
sign, um, but it doesn't mean that

295
00:12:44,493 --> 00:12:46,876
something is, uh, is wrong right then.

296
00:12:46,994 --> 00:12:48,820
Um, numbness, it, you
know, is more severe.

297
00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:51,054
That means, you know, that it could
mean that they're not getting any blood

298
00:12:51,054 --> 00:12:52,626
flow or there's nor- nerve compression.

299
00:12:52,627 --> 00:12:54,305
But you can always check
those kind of things.

300
00:12:54,746 --> 00:12:59,057
Like, uh, one, one that I do very,
very frequently i- uh, you know, most

301
00:12:59,057 --> 00:13:00,825
of the time arms are always tied.

302
00:13:00,827 --> 00:13:02,822
You know, that's, that's,
that's kind of a, a constant.

303
00:13:03,238 --> 00:13:05,346
And so I have s- people squeeze my finger.

304
00:13:05,763 --> 00:13:05,773
Mm-hmm.

305
00:13:05,773 --> 00:13:07,308
Uh, that's a really, really good test.

306
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:10,488
You know, if they can squeeze their,
your finger tightly, they're okay.

307
00:13:10,889 --> 00:13:13,061
Uh, if they can't, you know, there
might, there might be an issue.

308
00:13:13,061 --> 00:13:15,887
And you wanna do that at the beginning
to kind of a baseline of how tight

309
00:13:15,888 --> 00:13:18,347
they can squeeze in the first place,
and then, you know, that, that's

310
00:13:18,348 --> 00:13:19,385
a really good check throughout.

311
00:13:19,505 --> 00:13:20,277
That's kinda neat.

312
00:13:20,317 --> 00:13:20,636
Yeah.

313
00:13:20,798 --> 00:13:21,703
That, no, that really is neat.

314
00:13:21,703 --> 00:13:25,010
I mean, that's just- You know, I,
I like the idea of the suspension.

315
00:13:25,675 --> 00:13:28,769
I, I'm, I'm a little afraid of heights,
so just- Yeah … kind of the kind

316
00:13:28,770 --> 00:13:32,941
of pushing the boundaries, it, it, it
sounds kind of appealing, but at the

317
00:13:32,941 --> 00:13:36,867
same time, too, I'm ve- 270 pounds.

318
00:13:36,877 --> 00:13:41,060
So I would be kind of
afraid to be suspended.

319
00:13:41,101 --> 00:13:43,997
I mean, well- Is that something that
you, that you deal with a lot, like

320
00:13:44,017 --> 00:13:46,750
people who- I think it's- … are maybe
a little bit afraid to be suspended?

321
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:50,617
Uh, m- most people their first
time are at least apprehensive.

322
00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:50,806
Yeah.

323
00:13:50,807 --> 00:13:51,203
You know?

324
00:13:51,218 --> 00:13:54,122
Even if they're, you know, gung ho
and they really, really, really wanna

325
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:57,338
do it, um, you know, it's something
new, and so they're apprehensive.

326
00:13:57,764 --> 00:14:00,575
Normally for somebody's first suspension,
'cause there's different ways you can do

327
00:14:00,575 --> 00:14:04,442
it, and, and if somebody's fully tied,
yeah, you, you have to pull them up.

328
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,184
But there's different ways
you can do it as well.

329
00:14:06,485 --> 00:14:09,452
And so for somebody's first suspension,
I actually do it from standing.

330
00:14:09,506 --> 00:14:14,537
And so I tie their upper body up
first, and then, and then I, I go ahead

331
00:14:14,537 --> 00:14:15,892
and get them hooked up to up lines.

332
00:14:15,901 --> 00:14:17,273
And you're talking about weight.

333
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,747
I use, uh, spun polyester up lines.

334
00:14:20,103 --> 00:14:23,435
They're made for rope sails, uh, and
so they have, they, they have a tensile

335
00:14:23,435 --> 00:14:27,093
strength of like, depending on which
one I use, because I have Posh and I

336
00:14:27,094 --> 00:14:30,115
have one from New England, uh, some
from New England Ropes, from like

337
00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:32,307
1,500 to 2,000 pounds tensile strength.

338
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,178
So they'll, they'll
hold just about anybody.

339
00:14:34,217 --> 00:14:34,283
Wow.

340
00:14:34,314 --> 00:14:35,149
And so- There you go.

341
00:14:35,647 --> 00:14:38,412
And the biggest I've done is 245, and
so, like, you know, you're not- Wow

342
00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:39,834
… you're, you're not far off, is my point.

343
00:14:39,898 --> 00:14:44,247
And so, like, you know, and so I get that
up line on, and then I can tie one of

344
00:14:44,248 --> 00:14:47,389
their legs, get that on, and then I can
take their other leg out from under them.

345
00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:48,478
So I'm not pulling them up.

346
00:14:48,832 --> 00:14:51,733
It's not as harsh on them, you
know, they don't, you know, you're

347
00:14:51,735 --> 00:14:52,881
not having to, like, drag them up.

348
00:14:52,884 --> 00:14:55,639
They don't get as much pressure
there, and they get to experience

349
00:14:55,639 --> 00:14:57,140
and kind of, like, ease into it.

350
00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:57,262
Okay.

351
00:14:57,262 --> 00:15:00,180
'Cause the, the worst thing is if
somebody has a bad experience their

352
00:15:00,181 --> 00:15:01,990
first time, with anything really.

353
00:15:02,019 --> 00:15:02,181
Yeah.

354
00:15:02,189 --> 00:15:05,105
With anything, and so, you know,
I try to avoid that at all costs.

355
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:08,112
You know, so once somebody is,
you know, more experienced, we

356
00:15:08,114 --> 00:15:09,626
can do more experienced things.

357
00:15:10,053 --> 00:15:12,587
Like I do gravity boots, is one
of my favorite things to do, and

358
00:15:12,587 --> 00:15:14,952
they're, they're actually by their
ankle, or their foot and ankle.

359
00:15:14,954 --> 00:15:16,998
And so that, that one looks really cool.

360
00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:20,842
And, you know, I, I like doing
those things, but I also like for

361
00:15:20,843 --> 00:15:24,336
people not to, you know, say, "Oh,
I had a terrible experience," or,

362
00:15:24,337 --> 00:15:26,783
"This was-" Right … horribly
frightening or anything like that.

363
00:15:26,798 --> 00:15:31,355
And there are ways to do that, a- and,
and make sure that somebody has a good

364
00:15:31,355 --> 00:15:35,769
first experience, so that way that they
are more willing to have more experiences,

365
00:15:35,792 --> 00:15:37,191
and then they can work up to it.

366
00:15:37,232 --> 00:15:41,454
So I, you know, I'm, maybe I, you
know, I'm probably more cautious

367
00:15:41,454 --> 00:15:42,869
than some, some people are about it.

368
00:15:42,934 --> 00:15:46,129
And, you know, but I, I think
it's because I work with a lot

369
00:15:46,129 --> 00:15:47,375
of students and things like that.

370
00:15:47,603 --> 00:15:47,664
Oh.

371
00:15:47,664 --> 00:15:50,326
I think it's important that,
uh, that, that people have

372
00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:51,668
that good first experience.

373
00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:56,349
And then if they have a couple good ones,
and then maybe one is not, you know, as

374
00:15:56,354 --> 00:16:00,275
comfortable or, you know, or they're,
they, they're still willing to go forward.

375
00:16:00,282 --> 00:16:00,300
Yeah.

376
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:03,655
Because, you know, you know, they say,
"Oh, you know, this, this happened, but

377
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,921
I've had these other experiences that
were okay." And then they can kind of

378
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:10,427
moderate themselves, but they have that
one bad one that, uh, the first one's

379
00:16:10,429 --> 00:16:13,209
bad, you know, good luck having a second.

380
00:16:13,470 --> 00:16:14,664
Yeah, that's for sure.

381
00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:21,992
You know, I, a lot of our listeners are,
are swingers, and the, I'm, I'm really

382
00:16:21,995 --> 00:16:24,206
curious about the sexual aspect of it.

383
00:16:24,471 --> 00:16:27,294
I, I know that she, she had mentioned
the artistic aspect- Mm-hmm … of

384
00:16:27,294 --> 00:16:28,412
it, and I think it's beautiful.

385
00:16:28,412 --> 00:16:29,079
It really is.

386
00:16:29,485 --> 00:16:34,794
But from a sexual aspect, like How
do you even bring it into play?

387
00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:35,469
Yeah.

388
00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:35,760
Yeah.

389
00:16:35,845 --> 00:16:39,441
'Cause I, I, um, a- and I, I, I hate
to be so ignorant about it, but- No.

390
00:16:39,443 --> 00:16:40,911
Yeah, yeah, yeah … I've
never really been around it.

391
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:43,273
I mean, all I can think of is
tied to the bed, you know, like

392
00:16:43,275 --> 00:16:44,946
the simple, just tied to the bed.

393
00:16:44,946 --> 00:16:46,872
Oh, there's all sorts of,
there's all sorts of things.

394
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:50,702
And so I actually, you know, so I do
private lessons pretty frequently.

395
00:16:50,892 --> 00:16:50,924
Okay.

396
00:16:50,924 --> 00:16:53,911
Um, and they're, they're kinda split
50/50, you know, between people

397
00:16:53,911 --> 00:16:57,146
who wanna learn, like, Shibari more
artistically, and they wanna learn…

398
00:16:57,426 --> 00:17:01,253
And then I get couples who are like,
"Hey, we want to, you know, do some

399
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,893
role play in the bedroom, but we
wanna do it safely, and, you know,

400
00:17:03,895 --> 00:17:05,095
we don't really know where to start."

401
00:17:05,142 --> 00:17:08,093
And so, you know, we start with
some of the s- the safety things.

402
00:17:08,148 --> 00:17:10,071
Um, and the most common things
are, like, tying people to

403
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,224
the bed and things like that.

404
00:17:11,570 --> 00:17:13,889
Um, but you also have to, uh,
know how to do that safely.

405
00:17:13,889 --> 00:17:13,899
Uh-huh.

406
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:17,653
You know, you don't want knots to slip
o- onto each other and things like that.

407
00:17:17,928 --> 00:17:20,565
So we kinda start there, that way
they kinda get a comfort level

408
00:17:20,596 --> 00:17:23,436
of, you know, of how to tie.

409
00:17:23,645 --> 00:17:25,425
We can do some simple things like that.

410
00:17:25,493 --> 00:17:27,329
But then there's all sorts of
other things, you know, 'cause

411
00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:30,463
they're, it, Shibari in itself
is, is about positioning.

412
00:17:30,463 --> 00:17:30,521
Oh.

413
00:17:30,534 --> 00:17:34,126
And so, you know, learning how to tie
somebody in those positions that you

414
00:17:34,126 --> 00:17:38,419
want them, you know, is, is, is the
biggest way to, uh, bring it into play.

415
00:17:38,419 --> 00:17:41,583
And so, you know, I start
off with s- different cuffs.

416
00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:43,751
I start off with, or I
do, you know, ankle ties.

417
00:17:43,999 --> 00:17:45,811
But then we do a really cool leg tie.

418
00:17:45,892 --> 00:17:48,869
Um, I do kind of the artistic one first,
and then I show them, like, a much

419
00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:50,748
easier and faster way to do it as well.

420
00:17:50,749 --> 00:17:50,771
Yeah.

421
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:54,112
Um, it's not as artistic,
but, but it is very effective.

422
00:17:54,216 --> 00:17:57,605
And so, you know, learning those
positionings where, okay, if I, if, you

423
00:17:57,606 --> 00:18:02,354
know, this is how I can get, have their
leg bent and up and, and connected to

424
00:18:02,354 --> 00:18:05,851
their side or connected to their, you
know, wrist, and we learn those things.

425
00:18:06,057 --> 00:18:09,520
The other thing that's really cool
is learning, you know, leveraging.

426
00:18:09,586 --> 00:18:12,497
Uh, 'cause, you know, the other part
of Shibari is physics, you know?

427
00:18:12,498 --> 00:18:14,002
A big part of it's physics, actually.

428
00:18:14,002 --> 00:18:14,463
Yeah.

429
00:18:15,253 --> 00:18:19,493
And so, and I think a lot of people
may know these things unconsciously,

430
00:18:19,493 --> 00:18:21,930
or if they've really thought about it,
then they could, like, work it out.

431
00:18:22,421 --> 00:18:27,389
But, um, but, you know, we… I go through
how, you know, pulling the rope through a

432
00:18:27,392 --> 00:18:30,078
loop reduces the amount of force you need.

433
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:33,729
And so even, especially, and this is
great, yeah, I, I teach, you know,

434
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:38,181
femdoms who, you know, who have larger
men as their, as their subs, and I said,

435
00:18:38,182 --> 00:18:41,994
"You know, it doesn't matter how big,
much bigger is than you, because using a

436
00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:45,625
pulley system like this reduces the force
you need by half," and things like that.

437
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,229
And so that's the other part
that, that, uh, comes into play

438
00:18:48,232 --> 00:18:50,374
whenever you kind of bring it into
the bedroom, or not necessarily

439
00:18:50,391 --> 00:18:51,702
the bedroom, the bedroom dungeon.

440
00:18:51,966 --> 00:18:52,105
Yeah.

441
00:18:52,105 --> 00:18:53,619
You know, wherever, wherever
you happen to be playing.

442
00:18:54,690 --> 00:18:57,823
You know, I'm, I'm big into…
Because we're, we're still

443
00:18:57,830 --> 00:18:59,727
new to the whole kink thing.

444
00:18:59,893 --> 00:19:00,129
Yeah.

445
00:19:00,129 --> 00:19:01,373
And we're learning a lot.

446
00:19:01,422 --> 00:19:06,050
And but one thing that I'm big on is, is,
is etiquette, 'cause I never wanna be-

447
00:19:06,099 --> 00:19:10,651
Mm … uh, offensive with my reactions
or if I'm, if I shouldn't be talking.

448
00:19:10,651 --> 00:19:12,521
Like, I know, I never
know how this thing works.

449
00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:17,990
S- What, you know, as far as rope at
swing clubs and kink events, what's good

450
00:19:18,043 --> 00:19:20,005
etiquette for watching and participating?

451
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:24,284
Um- Hmm … you know, for, uh,
I, it's perfectly fine to watch.

452
00:19:24,299 --> 00:19:27,356
You know, the big- Yeah … the biggest
complaint I have and, and I, or, or

453
00:19:27,357 --> 00:19:30,434
I do hear from, from other people is,
you know, you don't, you, you wanna

454
00:19:30,434 --> 00:19:31,566
make sure that you keep a distance.

455
00:19:31,566 --> 00:19:34,693
Because not only are they, they
tying, and, you know, the tying

456
00:19:34,694 --> 00:19:38,332
may be, uh, you know, in your eyes
taking place in this, like, one foot

457
00:19:38,332 --> 00:19:41,535
by one foot square where they're
standing, but that's not always true.

458
00:19:41,535 --> 00:19:44,343
You know, if I'm pulling a rope
through, the rope can, you know,

459
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,504
go three, four, five feet, 'cause
I'm not super careful about it.

460
00:19:47,572 --> 00:19:50,936
Mm. You know, go three, four, five feet,
and you, you don't wanna be in somebody's

461
00:19:50,937 --> 00:19:53,410
way while they're trying to tie, while
they're trying to adjust somebody,

462
00:19:53,419 --> 00:19:54,862
especially if they're doing suspension.

463
00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:57,615
You know, you wanna give the rigger
plenty of room to move around the

464
00:19:57,622 --> 00:19:59,092
person because the person is tied.

465
00:19:59,142 --> 00:20:03,680
And so I, I don't know any riggers
who have a problem or, or, or

466
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,255
people being tied who have a
problem with people watching.

467
00:20:07,055 --> 00:20:09,758
But you definitely wanna kinda
stay out, out, out of the way.

468
00:20:10,099 --> 00:20:13,755
And I personally don't mind
people asking questions after.

469
00:20:14,222 --> 00:20:18,451
Uh, you know, I, I have had people where
I've been tying and they're, like, asking

470
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,855
me what I'm doing and things like that.

471
00:20:20,163 --> 00:20:24,906
And a lot of times in those spaces,
I'm tying, like- And in a dungeon or

472
00:20:24,925 --> 00:20:28,096
in a club- Oh, uh-huh … where it's
dark and, like, there's n- it's loud.

473
00:20:28,438 --> 00:20:33,020
Like, i- if I'm in a quiet private
space, then I can tie and I can

474
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:34,074
talk, and yeah, that's fine.

475
00:20:34,074 --> 00:20:36,709
But if I'm really trying to focus
because I can barely see or I can't

476
00:20:36,710 --> 00:20:39,840
see as, as well as normal, then,
you know, y- you wanna give that

477
00:20:39,843 --> 00:20:41,766
person, you know, their focus.

478
00:20:41,883 --> 00:20:41,907
Sure.

479
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,770
Afterwards, like, well, and I can
only speak for myself with this.

480
00:20:44,783 --> 00:20:46,792
Afterwards, ask me all
the questions you want.

481
00:20:46,811 --> 00:20:49,535
Like, I- Yeah … I'll talk
about ropes for hours if you-

482
00:20:49,547 --> 00:20:50,702
if you give me the opportunity.

483
00:20:50,713 --> 00:20:53,945
Like, I don't think I've had anybody
ask me about Shibari or ropes and

484
00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:56,950
me be like, "Oh, I don't wanna
talk about that right now." So.

485
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,335
Get away from me.

486
00:20:58,417 --> 00:20:58,477
Yeah.

487
00:20:58,477 --> 00:20:59,734
I'm not talking about this.

488
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:00,180
No.

489
00:21:00,186 --> 00:21:00,454
Yeah.

490
00:21:00,455 --> 00:21:01,971
You w- I, I talk about it a lot, so.

491
00:21:02,379 --> 00:21:06,393
So there's gotta be a lot of trust
that's built up between- Yeah

492
00:21:06,428 --> 00:21:09,927
the per- the rigger and, and the
person who's being tied, yeah?

493
00:21:10,179 --> 00:21:10,828
Yeah.

494
00:21:10,884 --> 00:21:12,945
Uh, so yes and no.

495
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,267
Well, I mean, y- there should be.

496
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:16,692
Uh, let me, let me put it that way.

497
00:21:16,696 --> 00:21:19,902
There's a lot of people who,
who let j- anybody tie them up,

498
00:21:19,931 --> 00:21:20,978
which like, that's their choice.

499
00:21:20,982 --> 00:21:23,936
You know, it's their, like- Right … you
know, whate- whatever they like to do.

500
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,701
My rule of thumb is, like, at least
see what they've done in the past.

501
00:21:26,706 --> 00:21:29,768
Like, at least, you know, see pictures
of what they've done in the past

502
00:21:29,768 --> 00:21:32,203
or they're, you know, maybe have
a referral or something like that

503
00:21:32,618 --> 00:21:34,611
'cause there are some safety concerns.

504
00:21:34,991 --> 00:21:37,808
You know, not only like the general
safety concerns of, hey, you're tied

505
00:21:37,817 --> 00:21:41,553
up and now you're incapacitated, and
you can't do anything about it now.

506
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:45,292
But also, you know, there's some nerve,
uh, uh, problems that can happen.

507
00:21:45,487 --> 00:21:48,522
Uh, a- and I, you know, I
see Shibari as like a low…

508
00:21:48,618 --> 00:21:49,975
It's high risk in suspension.

509
00:21:49,978 --> 00:21:52,884
Other than suspension, it's low
to medium risk, uh, as it is.

510
00:21:52,898 --> 00:21:55,403
You know, you're not gonna have any
major issues as long as you follow,

511
00:21:55,479 --> 00:21:57,065
uh, some, you know, basic safety.

512
00:21:57,531 --> 00:22:00,550
But you, you have to know that that
person's gonna follow that basic

513
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,171
safety for one, and you know, that
they actually know what they're doing.

514
00:22:03,231 --> 00:22:05,759
You know, you can't really ask, oh,
where they learn, where did they learn?

515
00:22:05,767 --> 00:22:08,849
'Cause most people learned online and,
like- Uh-huh … it's not a great judge,

516
00:22:08,852 --> 00:22:10,117
but at least see what they've done.

517
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:13,411
Um, that's one of the things
that I do in my, uh, 101 class.

518
00:22:13,451 --> 00:22:14,249
Everybody ties.

519
00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:16,915
Yeah, it doesn't matter if, like,
you normally just get tied up

520
00:22:16,915 --> 00:22:18,020
or just wanna be a rope bottom.

521
00:22:18,078 --> 00:22:21,381
Everybody ties because you, you need
to learn the basics, and you need

522
00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:23,243
to learn what's safe and what's not.

523
00:22:23,807 --> 00:22:27,295
Uh, so that way, when you're being tied,
you can judge for yourself, and you can

524
00:22:27,295 --> 00:22:28,586
be aware for your own safety as well.

525
00:22:29,757 --> 00:22:31,772
Okay … is this a one-person job?

526
00:22:31,772 --> 00:22:37,915
So is it like just, say it be just me
and you, and you're tying me up, or is

527
00:22:37,916 --> 00:22:40,283
it multiple people have to help you?

528
00:22:41,094 --> 00:22:44,154
I've never, I've n- I don't think
I've ever worked with a rigger-

529
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:45,508
Uh-huh … uh, to tie somebody up.

530
00:22:45,539 --> 00:22:48,373
I've, I've worked with riggers to
do, like, a whole scene where there's

531
00:22:48,375 --> 00:22:49,803
multiple models and things like that.

532
00:22:49,858 --> 00:22:52,892
Um, but it's a one-person job to
tie and suspend somebody, yeah.

533
00:22:53,056 --> 00:22:56,733
Yeah, it, it, it's, it… And, and
I, you kinda want it to be that way.

534
00:22:56,736 --> 00:22:56,748
Okay.

535
00:22:56,773 --> 00:23:00,398
Like, I, you know, if, if I had
somebody, if I had somebody else

536
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,765
tie, I'd feel, I'd feel like I'd
have to check up behind them.

537
00:23:03,166 --> 00:23:03,500
Yeah.

538
00:23:03,504 --> 00:23:06,577
Which, like which, you know, they have
their own skillsets and things like

539
00:23:06,577 --> 00:23:08,851
that, but, like, that's just how I
am, a little bit of a control freak.

540
00:23:08,851 --> 00:23:11,813
And so, like, uh, you know, it,
it definitely, I don't think I've

541
00:23:11,813 --> 00:23:15,276
ever seen, you know, maybe couples
and things like that where they'll-

542
00:23:15,276 --> 00:23:16,596
Mm-hmm … they'll both be tying.

543
00:23:16,597 --> 00:23:18,605
But, but not in, that's,
that's not, like, the norm.

544
00:23:19,105 --> 00:23:19,537
Okay.

545
00:23:19,711 --> 00:23:22,393
I was just thinking, like, you're tying
them, and then someone is there, like,

546
00:23:22,890 --> 00:23:24,713
gonna catch or, or be able- No, no, not-

547
00:23:24,717 --> 00:23:25,443
to cut it or something.

548
00:23:25,443 --> 00:23:25,873
Yeah You know?

549
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:26,115
Yeah.

550
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:27,028
No, no, not at all.

551
00:23:27,050 --> 00:23:30,875
I mean, I'm just, I'm just thinking,
like- Like, like cheerleaders, you

552
00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:33,052
know, when they flip them and it's
like someone's there to catch them

553
00:23:33,053 --> 00:23:36,414
and just be like, "Just in case."
Just in case, I'll be your safety net.

554
00:23:36,490 --> 00:23:39,237
There, there are just in case
things though, so like- Yeah

555
00:23:39,302 --> 00:23:43,178
so especially, you know, with, with
spun polyester you don't have to

556
00:23:43,178 --> 00:23:47,131
worry about it, uh, as much, but
some people sp- still suspend with

557
00:23:47,132 --> 00:23:48,710
jute, which is more traditional.

558
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:51,916
And, you know, but jute's a natural
fiber, it has a much lo- uh, lower

559
00:23:51,958 --> 00:23:55,843
tensile strength, and so normally
they'll have extra safety lines

560
00:23:55,933 --> 00:23:57,300
for up lines, things like that.

561
00:23:57,300 --> 00:23:57,310
Okay.

562
00:23:57,350 --> 00:24:01,525
Or if I'm changing somebody's position,
then before I change their position

563
00:24:01,526 --> 00:24:04,590
I'll put in another up line that's
holding them as well before I move,

564
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,316
move them or something like that.

565
00:24:06,533 --> 00:24:09,486
So there are, there are safety
things and there are, uh, just in

566
00:24:09,487 --> 00:24:11,866
case things, but not, not a person.

567
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:12,328
Okay.

568
00:24:12,353 --> 00:24:15,814
And yeah, I've put mat- or like
mattresses and mats down just

569
00:24:15,816 --> 00:24:16,768
for like- I've seen that, okay

570
00:24:16,768 --> 00:24:19,517
other people's, for the,
so they'll feel better.

571
00:24:19,533 --> 00:24:19,887
Yeah.

572
00:24:19,979 --> 00:24:24,526
And, and, you know, and normally,
like I have like, um, like a, like

573
00:24:24,527 --> 00:24:27,410
a futon mat that I, I put under or
a futon mattress that I put under.

574
00:24:27,426 --> 00:24:27,717
Uh-huh.

575
00:24:27,763 --> 00:24:29,866
That might give you a little cushion,
but a lot of times you'll see people

576
00:24:29,866 --> 00:24:33,262
put like, like athletic mats and
stuff like that, and that's not

577
00:24:33,262 --> 00:24:34,488
really gonna cushion your fall.

578
00:24:34,488 --> 00:24:35,439
Yeah, no.

579
00:24:36,111 --> 00:24:39,018
But so that's more of just like- Face
first … ooh, I feel better about it.

580
00:24:39,112 --> 00:24:43,469
Uh, but yeah, like, you know, there,
there are ways to stay safe and

581
00:24:43,469 --> 00:24:47,457
there are ways to, uh, to, to set
those up, like using those extra

582
00:24:47,457 --> 00:24:49,087
up lines and, and stuff like that.

583
00:24:49,505 --> 00:24:52,465
And then you also, you always
wanna have safety shears with you.

584
00:24:52,842 --> 00:24:53,241
Okay.

585
00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:55,943
Um, and, and so they're, they're
like seven bucks, so there's like

586
00:24:55,944 --> 00:24:57,314
never an excuse not to have them.

587
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:57,696
Yeah.

588
00:24:57,696 --> 00:24:58,975
And they're like the EMT shears.

589
00:24:59,450 --> 00:24:59,845
Okay.

590
00:24:59,875 --> 00:25:02,228
So that way they won't like
cut in- into anybody's skin.

591
00:25:02,277 --> 00:25:04,872
Um, but they will cut rope very,
very quickly and very, very well.

592
00:25:04,882 --> 00:25:07,325
There's some other tools out
there that, that I've used.

593
00:25:07,336 --> 00:25:10,625
Some look like kind of hooks that,
that'll cut through and things like that.

594
00:25:10,649 --> 00:25:11,467
I've used those.

595
00:25:11,884 --> 00:25:15,088
The safety shears work the best
for me, uh, personally, and like

596
00:25:15,089 --> 00:25:17,552
I, I think they… That those
are what I recommend the most.

597
00:25:17,745 --> 00:25:21,121
I've only had to use them one time,
uh, and it wasn't 'cause I couldn't

598
00:25:21,122 --> 00:25:24,391
get something untied, it was, you
know, I had somebody up and I was

599
00:25:24,393 --> 00:25:27,893
going to let them down and I noticed
like, uh, one of, part of, uh, my rope

600
00:25:28,373 --> 00:25:30,166
kind of was untwisting in one part.

601
00:25:30,574 --> 00:25:34,675
And I probably could have come down with
it anyway, um, but I didn't want to not

602
00:25:34,684 --> 00:25:38,448
have control over the, that situation and
be… You know, and having to be watched

603
00:25:38,488 --> 00:25:40,036
that while- Uh-huh … I'm laying down.

604
00:25:40,041 --> 00:25:42,870
So instead I held them with one
arm and I cut that a- and let

605
00:25:42,871 --> 00:25:44,247
them down th- that way instead.

606
00:25:44,567 --> 00:25:47,340
It's the only time I've had to,
had to use, uh, my safety shears.

607
00:25:47,827 --> 00:25:51,538
Uh, and most people I know
haven't had to use theirs either,

608
00:25:51,555 --> 00:25:53,227
like it's not super common.

609
00:25:53,227 --> 00:25:55,614
It's not like it happens all the time.

610
00:25:56,073 --> 00:25:58,812
You know, I'm trying to think of another
situation where it's happened, but I've

611
00:25:58,812 --> 00:26:02,078
never seen like an emergency situation
where, you know, somebody's like,

612
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,274
"Oh, I need this off me right now."

613
00:26:03,282 --> 00:26:08,311
Normally, most riggers who are
consciou- conscientious enough to

614
00:26:08,311 --> 00:26:11,699
have safety shears- Are conscientious
enough that they know what they're

615
00:26:11,701 --> 00:26:12,924
doing when- Yeah … they're tying.

616
00:26:12,940 --> 00:26:13,240
Yeah.

617
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,024
So- Right, right … that's
kind of a catch-22 there.

618
00:26:15,024 --> 00:26:16,607
The goal is to not use
them- Yeah … right?

619
00:26:16,635 --> 00:26:18,919
So it's kind of, you know, if
somebody doesn't have the shears,

620
00:26:18,921 --> 00:26:21,397
then maybe that's, maybe that's a good
indicator that you shouldn't be tying.

621
00:26:21,776 --> 00:26:23,871
Baby, can we talk about lube for a second?

622
00:26:24,698 --> 00:26:25,648
Like, really talk about it.

623
00:26:26,227 --> 00:26:29,073
She's been waiting all week-
I have … to say this line.

624
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:29,483
I have.

625
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:33,601
It's because in the lifestyle,
lube isn't just a nice-to-have,

626
00:26:33,602 --> 00:26:35,022
it's basically part of the packing.

627
00:26:35,247 --> 00:26:37,356
Yeah, right up there with
the good sheets and the

628
00:26:37,356 --> 00:26:39,159
don't-forget-it-at-the-hotel toy bag.

629
00:26:39,964 --> 00:26:40,647
Exactly.

630
00:26:40,663 --> 00:26:42,226
And that's why we like Sliquid.

631
00:26:42,505 --> 00:26:45,974
Made in the US, clean ingredients,
nothing weird going on in that

632
00:26:45,974 --> 00:26:49,485
bottle, which matters when you're
using it with more than one partner

633
00:26:49,486 --> 00:26:52,138
more than once over a long weekend.

634
00:26:52,294 --> 00:26:54,922
They've got water-based,
silicone, organic.

635
00:26:55,018 --> 00:26:57,901
So whether it's a quiet night
in or a full takeover weekend,

636
00:26:57,901 --> 00:26:58,993
there's a formula that keeps up.

637
00:26:59,525 --> 00:26:59,831
Yeah.

638
00:26:59,881 --> 00:27:05,912
And the water-based line's toy safe,
which if you ever had a toy night get

639
00:27:05,945 --> 00:27:08,021
complicated, you know that that matters.

640
00:27:08,099 --> 00:27:08,367
Yeah.

641
00:27:08,487 --> 00:27:09,120
It's smooth.

642
00:27:09,148 --> 00:27:12,584
It lasts through however
long the night decides to go.

643
00:27:12,842 --> 00:27:14,839
Seriously, no need to, like, reapply it.

644
00:27:15,248 --> 00:27:15,819
It's awesome.

645
00:27:16,005 --> 00:27:19,541
And it's genuinely earned a
permanent spot in our bag.

646
00:27:19,556 --> 00:27:21,148
Yeah, like our actual travel bag.

647
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:21,370
Yes.

648
00:27:21,370 --> 00:27:22,142
Not a euphemism.

649
00:27:22,371 --> 00:27:22,488
Yes.

650
00:27:22,790 --> 00:27:24,624
15% off Sliquid.

651
00:27:24,857 --> 00:27:26,538
Link's in the show notes.

652
00:27:26,546 --> 00:27:29,778
So pack it in, use it, and
you can thank us later.

653
00:27:29,954 --> 00:27:30,458
That's right.

654
00:27:30,927 --> 00:27:32,970
Travis, you said you've suspended people.

655
00:27:32,979 --> 00:27:36,743
What's the, what's the h- like
the tallest height, like that

656
00:27:36,743 --> 00:27:38,223
you've ever suspended somebody?

657
00:27:38,655 --> 00:27:42,632
Uh, I think the highest I've e- I've ever
had somebody is probably like six feet.

658
00:27:43,023 --> 00:27:43,644
Okay.

659
00:27:43,721 --> 00:27:46,676
Yeah, 'cause I have a, I have a- That
sounds fun … I have a nine-foot

660
00:27:46,676 --> 00:27:48,836
rig in my, in my living room.

661
00:27:49,083 --> 00:27:49,594
Okay.

662
00:27:50,254 --> 00:27:54,412
That it's… And so, like I probably
could, I could get somebody higher,

663
00:27:54,471 --> 00:27:58,399
but you have to remember, so like nine
foot is there, and then below that I

664
00:27:58,405 --> 00:28:02,900
have the Shibari ring, which is about
nine inches, and it's attached by a

665
00:28:03,172 --> 00:28:04,778
carabiner, which is another three inches.

666
00:28:04,787 --> 00:28:06,519
So that's another foot,
so that's down to eight.

667
00:28:06,808 --> 00:28:08,968
So that's probably the highest
I could get some- somebody up-

668
00:28:08,985 --> 00:28:09,851
Okay … like seven and a half.

669
00:28:10,176 --> 00:28:12,987
But I've, I've gotten people up to like
six, where I could walk underneath them.

670
00:28:12,987 --> 00:28:13,923
I'm 5'9" so.

671
00:28:14,784 --> 00:28:18,873
I, I, I have this question that keeps
just popping up internally, and I, I

672
00:28:19,416 --> 00:28:23,059
really don't wanna say it on account of
m- I'm, I'm gonna sound like an idiot.

673
00:28:23,136 --> 00:28:24,796
But I'm used to that.

674
00:28:24,835 --> 00:28:30,651
So when you tie somebody up,
and say they're suspended, I, I

675
00:28:30,655 --> 00:28:33,838
take it, it, it takes a while,
right, to- Yeah … to do that?

676
00:28:33,838 --> 00:28:34,733
Well, it can, yeah.

677
00:28:35,025 --> 00:28:35,403
It can.

678
00:28:35,446 --> 00:28:40,600
A- a- after, after which, once
it's complete- Do you just kinda

679
00:28:40,601 --> 00:28:45,179
like go, "Okay, now- I'll be
back. … can I untie you now?" Yeah.

680
00:28:45,179 --> 00:28:47,544
Or, or, or do you let them
sit there for a while?

681
00:28:47,544 --> 00:28:48,979
Like how, how- I ask them.

682
00:28:48,979 --> 00:28:49,799
What's… Okay.

683
00:28:49,836 --> 00:28:50,901
Yeah, I ask them.

684
00:28:50,985 --> 00:28:54,899
So, you know, whenever I'm tying,
you know, I, you know, 'cause

685
00:28:54,907 --> 00:28:55,928
people, people want to do it.

686
00:28:55,946 --> 00:28:58,695
Some people like being tied,
some people like the process.

687
00:28:58,743 --> 00:29:01,273
And so, and I get hired for
different things, not always

688
00:29:01,276 --> 00:29:02,799
just like for photography.

689
00:29:02,799 --> 00:29:05,669
You know, like I said, I have the, I
have people that I just, they, they

690
00:29:05,669 --> 00:29:08,592
hire me just to come over and tie
them, which is, uh, which is great,

691
00:29:08,592 --> 00:29:09,728
and it's very, like, fulfilling.

692
00:29:09,729 --> 00:29:13,719
And so I always ask them, I said, you
know, "Do you want me to tie you and…"

693
00:29:13,728 --> 00:29:16,684
You know, if I have ti- like extra time,
I say, "Do you want me to tie you and

694
00:29:16,685 --> 00:29:20,033
I can do a different tie, or, or would
you like to just be tied for a while?"

695
00:29:20,104 --> 00:29:21,555
Um, and so it's kind of up to them.

696
00:29:21,618 --> 00:29:23,929
And for me, um, it's kinda up to them.

697
00:29:23,972 --> 00:29:28,692
I know there are some bunnies, robotims,
uh, you know, one of my friends, Carson,

698
00:29:28,692 --> 00:29:31,130
who, who works with, uh, Bound HTX.

699
00:29:31,173 --> 00:29:33,679
He loves being in any type
of bondage really, and so

700
00:29:33,681 --> 00:29:35,314
he, like, would just be tied.

701
00:29:35,357 --> 00:29:37,291
So it just kinda depends
on the individual.

702
00:29:38,018 --> 00:29:38,512
Okay.

703
00:29:38,561 --> 00:29:39,125
That's cool.

704
00:29:39,419 --> 00:29:39,680
Yeah.

705
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,706
No, I, you know, I was, I was trying
to picture that, and, you know, if

706
00:29:43,709 --> 00:29:46,600
it were me, I, I would tie him up,
and then I'd be like, "Okay, take a

707
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,031
picture 'cause I'm about to untie you."

708
00:29:48,518 --> 00:29:51,597
Well, well, and then like if you're doing
it for play as well, I mean, there's

709
00:29:51,597 --> 00:29:52,696
all- … sorts of things you can do.

710
00:29:52,709 --> 00:29:54,062
Like, there's edging- Yeah … for sex.

711
00:29:54,062 --> 00:29:56,968
There's all sorts of like different
things that, that go into it as well.

712
00:29:56,977 --> 00:29:58,426
Sex while tied up.

713
00:29:58,641 --> 00:29:59,248
Yeah.

714
00:29:59,775 --> 00:29:59,877
Yeah.

715
00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:01,086
I mean- … I, well, I'm tied up.

716
00:30:04,129 --> 00:30:07,460
I, I can't, I can't remember the last
time I've been tied up, to be honest.

717
00:30:07,900 --> 00:30:08,011
Really?

718
00:30:08,011 --> 00:30:10,831
But- I have never… I have this
anxiety- I very rarely get tied.

719
00:30:11,277 --> 00:30:11,534
Yeah.

720
00:30:11,958 --> 00:30:14,008
So and, and why is that?

721
00:30:14,015 --> 00:30:16,464
You know, I would think that someone
would be like, "I'd like to tie

722
00:30:16,464 --> 00:30:19,007
you." I, you know, I don't mind it.

723
00:30:19,023 --> 00:30:22,145
It doesn't like… I don't think
I get the same like good feels

724
00:30:22,146 --> 00:30:23,159
that everybody, that, that-

725
00:30:23,219 --> 00:30:26,129
not everybody, that other
people who enjoy being tied get.

726
00:30:26,221 --> 00:30:27,579
So I don't like really mind it.

727
00:30:27,673 --> 00:30:28,586
It doesn't bother me.

728
00:30:29,109 --> 00:30:33,136
But at the same time, it's not
like, "Ooh, yay, tie me up." Yeah.

729
00:30:33,762 --> 00:30:37,839
But, and then also like I'd also
critique as they went along, so.

730
00:30:40,844 --> 00:30:45,175
You know, with, with my luck,
I'd be like, "Uh, I gotta pee." I

731
00:30:45,175 --> 00:30:46,710
always ask that at the beginning.

732
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,350
Uh- It's like you just did it and I
was like, "No, I don't need to," and

733
00:30:49,350 --> 00:30:52,749
then- Well, that's the hard thing too
is- … you trap if I need to pee That's

734
00:30:52,749 --> 00:30:55,874
the hard thing too, is I always, you know,
it's important to be hydrated to going

735
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:57,724
into it as well so you don't get cramps.

736
00:30:57,930 --> 00:30:58,294
Okay.

737
00:30:58,294 --> 00:31:00,392
At the same time, not too hy-
You don't wanna be too hydrated.

738
00:31:00,409 --> 00:31:00,581
Yeah.

739
00:31:00,591 --> 00:31:01,262
Yeah.

740
00:31:01,327 --> 00:31:01,907
Yeah, no kidding.

741
00:31:01,912 --> 00:31:06,714
That sounds, I mean, it all sounds
amazing and, and I am super, super

742
00:31:06,715 --> 00:31:08,604
interested to see your, your show.

743
00:31:08,606 --> 00:31:12,275
Like, that's gonna be the first
time we've ever… Yeah, we

744
00:31:12,275 --> 00:31:13,617
really haven't been around it.

745
00:31:13,634 --> 00:31:16,847
We've heard a lot from people
who are involved with it.

746
00:31:16,847 --> 00:31:17,260
Yeah.

747
00:31:17,288 --> 00:31:21,265
Now, I, you know, I am curious, when
you're rigging someone, do you get

748
00:31:21,276 --> 00:31:26,741
something out of it sexually, like,
or, or just an internal pleasure of,

749
00:31:26,757 --> 00:31:28,559
like, I'm- Or is it just all business?

750
00:31:28,559 --> 00:31:30,040
… I'm pleasuring somebody else in a way, or?

751
00:31:30,446 --> 00:31:34,594
So I, so that's kind of, that's
probably one of the reason why I don't

752
00:31:34,595 --> 00:31:36,194
do it sexually with a lot of people.

753
00:31:36,209 --> 00:31:38,067
You know, it's, it's
a big part of my life.

754
00:31:38,067 --> 00:31:38,086
Uh-huh.

755
00:31:38,345 --> 00:31:43,492
And so I only really do it sexually
with people that I'm actually, like,

756
00:31:43,657 --> 00:31:47,478
connected with and, you know, like,
I, I, I tie up a lot of people and a

757
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,542
lot of people that I barely know and
things like that, and then, like, that's

758
00:31:50,546 --> 00:31:52,695
for art, it's fun, it's interesting.

759
00:31:53,123 --> 00:31:56,551
But the only time I've been really, like,
sexually interested in it is so whenever,

760
00:31:56,554 --> 00:31:59,578
like, I really have a connection with
that person and I really, like, enjoy

761
00:31:59,581 --> 00:32:01,975
that person in, in other ways as well.

762
00:32:02,198 --> 00:32:05,599
And then, like, then it can be very
sexual for me, and I do enjoy that

763
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,237
process because there, you know, there's
a something called, like, Shibari flow,

764
00:32:09,262 --> 00:32:13,083
where, you know, the, it's kind of, it's
very intimate and, and connected with.

765
00:32:13,401 --> 00:32:16,095
And I don't, I don't get
connected to everybody.

766
00:32:16,097 --> 00:32:19,015
You know, a lot of people can kind of have
that where, like, you know, they can kind

767
00:32:19,016 --> 00:32:23,145
of, and not fake it, but, like, they can,
like, go into it with, like, a connection.

768
00:32:23,226 --> 00:32:24,428
Um, and I don't really have that.

769
00:32:24,477 --> 00:32:27,344
I can have sex with anybody really, but,
like- Yeah … just, like, I don't have

770
00:32:27,344 --> 00:32:28,731
that connected feeling with everybody.

771
00:32:28,740 --> 00:32:31,784
And so unless I have that feeling,
then it's not really sexual for me.

772
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:32,256
I got you.

773
00:32:32,449 --> 00:32:33,569
That's- I'm a people pleaser.

774
00:32:33,569 --> 00:32:33,926
Yeah.

775
00:32:33,926 --> 00:32:40,356
So even removing the sexual aspect of it,
I would probably be very excited about

776
00:32:40,357 --> 00:32:42,221
the fact that they're, they're liking it.

777
00:32:42,415 --> 00:32:42,729
Yeah.

778
00:32:42,747 --> 00:32:46,361
Well, yeah, I, you know, I tell people,
I'm like, "It, it can be artistic

779
00:32:46,361 --> 00:32:48,146
or sexy," like I can't do both.

780
00:32:48,146 --> 00:32:48,499
Yeah.

781
00:32:48,499 --> 00:32:48,509
So.

782
00:32:49,326 --> 00:32:50,008
For sure.

783
00:32:50,074 --> 00:32:56,434
Well, uh, you know, I, I think the
word ShibARTi is incredibly smart,

784
00:32:56,466 --> 00:32:57,729
and I think that's really cool.

785
00:32:57,995 --> 00:32:58,029
Yes.

786
00:32:58,029 --> 00:32:59,111
November 14th.

787
00:32:59,139 --> 00:33:01,837
Can, can you, can you get us into this?

788
00:33:01,857 --> 00:33:03,435
Can you explain what ShibARTi is?

789
00:33:03,435 --> 00:33:03,445
Yeah.

790
00:33:03,445 --> 00:33:03,465
Yeah, yeah.

791
00:33:03,465 --> 00:33:06,809
So it, that was actually supposed to
be a working title, and so whenever

792
00:33:06,810 --> 00:33:10,831
I presented it to the Mantra Center
who's, uh, who's our beneficiary, or

793
00:33:10,833 --> 00:33:14,860
one of our beneficiaries, as well as
hosting us, it was a working title that

794
00:33:14,860 --> 00:33:17,760
I just put on there, and it actually
said, like, working title, and then

795
00:33:17,762 --> 00:33:20,211
it just kind of, they put it on their
calendar that way and everything.

796
00:33:20,212 --> 00:33:22,320
So that became the title, uh, itself.

797
00:33:22,648 --> 00:33:27,348
But yeah, November 14th, we're gonna, uh,
it's gonna be Shibari exhibited as, and

798
00:33:27,350 --> 00:33:31,809
so, you know, we're, we're gonna have 40
different Shibari artists or 40 spots.

799
00:33:32,053 --> 00:33:35,929
Some have multiple artists, but
40, 40 spots where it'll be art

800
00:33:35,953 --> 00:33:39,632
exhibition style, and so, like,
walking through an art exhibit, it'll

801
00:33:39,632 --> 00:33:41,556
all be backdropped in, in black.

802
00:33:41,577 --> 00:33:43,837
Everybody will have their
different section, like, you

803
00:33:43,839 --> 00:33:45,167
know, walking through a gallery.

804
00:33:45,345 --> 00:33:45,821
Almost.

805
00:33:45,821 --> 00:33:49,228
And each person- Oh, wow … um, there's
gonna be two sessions, one 4:00 to 6:00.

806
00:33:49,228 --> 00:33:51,277
The, uh, there'll be an
hour break in between.

807
00:33:51,576 --> 00:33:54,797
And then for a separate ticket,
separate attendees, 7:00 to 9:00.

808
00:33:55,234 --> 00:33:58,870
Um, and then, uh, the separate, the
second one is also, we're gonna have

809
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:01,670
some judges there, and I'll, I'll
tell you about the judges in a minute.

810
00:34:01,676 --> 00:34:05,023
But so we'll have some judges, and then
there'll be a, an awards at the end.

811
00:34:05,053 --> 00:34:08,079
But yeah, so you'll walk through,
there'll be two-hour sessions.

812
00:34:08,143 --> 00:34:12,076
Uh, during that two hours, all
the, the riggers and, and models

813
00:34:12,078 --> 00:34:13,206
will start at the same time.

814
00:34:13,224 --> 00:34:17,720
That first hour, hour and 15 will be them
rigging, them setting up their scene.

815
00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:19,355
The scene will already be
decorated, but they'll be them

816
00:34:19,355 --> 00:34:20,642
rigging, them doing the tying.

817
00:34:21,172 --> 00:34:24,829
Uh, after that, yeah, it'll be
20 to 30 minutes of, you know, y-

818
00:34:25,088 --> 00:34:29,341
seeing it as a complete design,
the person tied, everything set up.

819
00:34:29,425 --> 00:34:31,419
Um, you know, 'cause people
will be doing it differently.

820
00:34:31,426 --> 00:34:32,682
Some people will be more abstract.

821
00:34:32,694 --> 00:34:36,138
Some people will be like, you know,
scenes de- depicting, you know,

822
00:34:36,156 --> 00:34:38,798
their, their part in kink, you
know, whatever they would like.

823
00:34:38,808 --> 00:34:39,660
You know, it's their art.

824
00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:42,554
And so there'll be like 30
minutes of, of it, you know, set.

825
00:34:42,853 --> 00:34:46,228
And then you'll also, at the very end,
you'll get that last 15 minutes will

826
00:34:46,229 --> 00:34:48,418
be them in the process of untying.

827
00:34:48,433 --> 00:34:52,034
So that way people who haven't really seen
Shibari, been experienced with Shibari

828
00:34:52,043 --> 00:34:54,311
will see, you know, the, the full process.

829
00:34:54,618 --> 00:34:56,318
They'll get to see, you
know, the very beginning.

830
00:34:56,318 --> 00:34:57,342
They'll get to see the tying.

831
00:34:57,369 --> 00:35:00,105
Then, you know, in the middle they'll,
you know, they'll get to see like art-

832
00:35:00,270 --> 00:35:04,338
the, the artistic view each of these
artists have, um, that they've put, been

833
00:35:04,339 --> 00:35:08,234
working hard on, and then they'll get to
see the untying, the aftercare that goes

834
00:35:08,234 --> 00:35:10,776
into it a- a- and those parts as well.

835
00:35:10,793 --> 00:35:13,593
Um, and then like I said, the
second part's gonna have judging.

836
00:35:13,647 --> 00:35:16,507
Uh, and like I've been like
really lucky with my judges.

837
00:35:16,557 --> 00:35:20,174
And so, you know, uh, you know, Shibartie,
the art's in there for a reason.

838
00:35:20,224 --> 00:35:23,512
And so, you know, some of, some of the
arti- or some of the judges that we have,

839
00:35:23,579 --> 00:35:28,258
uh, Mario Castillo, he's a, uh, LGBT
Houston City councilman here in Houston.

840
00:35:28,328 --> 00:35:29,151
Uh, he's Latino.

841
00:35:29,151 --> 00:35:30,606
I've known Mario for a long time.

842
00:35:30,669 --> 00:35:32,023
Uh, he's Latino and he's gay.

843
00:35:32,024 --> 00:35:33,990
He's, uh, District 8 here in Houston.

844
00:35:34,228 --> 00:35:35,958
He's gonna be- Awesome … our
cultural impact judge.

845
00:35:36,316 --> 00:35:38,871
Um, you know, I thought he was
a really great fit for Houston,

846
00:35:38,871 --> 00:35:40,532
which has a huge Latino community.

847
00:35:40,564 --> 00:35:43,695
And, uh, and Mario ar- also
sits on the Arts and Culture

848
00:35:43,695 --> 00:35:45,342
Committee for the City of Houston.

849
00:35:45,448 --> 00:35:50,848
And then, uh, we'll have Allison Retina,
who's a, a well-known photographer.

850
00:35:51,171 --> 00:35:53,024
Uh, she was a photographer for the NBA.

851
00:35:53,087 --> 00:35:56,123
She actually just left her…
She was at a creative position.

852
00:35:56,411 --> 00:35:58,970
She actually just left that,
and she's managing artists now.

853
00:35:59,286 --> 00:36:02,933
Uh, I was just at one of her art shows
for one of her artists on Friday.

854
00:36:03,231 --> 00:36:04,529
It was really, really cool.

855
00:36:04,772 --> 00:36:08,806
She works, uh, a lot with, uh, Black
artists in, in Houston and, and getting

856
00:36:08,806 --> 00:36:13,367
them connected to resources as well as
getting them, getting them known and, and,

857
00:36:13,367 --> 00:36:14,963
and they're getting paid for their art.

858
00:36:15,030 --> 00:36:18,891
Um, and she, she's amazing, like going to
look at her work is, is really cool too.

859
00:36:18,941 --> 00:36:22,973
And then I have coming in from Las
Vegas, James Mansfield of RuPaul's

860
00:36:22,985 --> 00:36:25,619
Drag Race, uh, as our creativity judge.

861
00:36:25,654 --> 00:36:29,620
Sh- uh, James and I have
talked for several months now.

862
00:36:29,933 --> 00:36:32,662
Reached out to me, uh, you know,
talking about Shibari, how he was

863
00:36:32,662 --> 00:36:34,604
interested in it and things like that.

864
00:36:35,003 --> 00:36:38,126
I've done some, uh, video
con- video sessions, you know,

865
00:36:38,127 --> 00:36:39,206
showing him different things.

866
00:36:39,209 --> 00:36:41,049
He actually does his
own photography as well.

867
00:36:41,368 --> 00:36:44,251
Uh, so coming in to judge
our creativity as well.

868
00:36:44,929 --> 00:36:47,439
That is a lineup I know.

869
00:36:47,453 --> 00:36:48,943
I really lucked out this year.

870
00:36:48,943 --> 00:36:51,892
So yeah, I, it, it really,
really came together.

871
00:36:51,896 --> 00:36:54,432
I mean, people well above my
station whenever it comes to art.

872
00:36:54,447 --> 00:36:56,577
Like, I mean, this is a… It's
really, really cool to have them.

873
00:36:57,141 --> 00:36:58,158
That is so cool.

874
00:36:58,174 --> 00:36:58,632
I know.

875
00:36:58,632 --> 00:36:59,501
I can't wait.

876
00:36:59,552 --> 00:37:03,740
Now, you know, we are e- uh, very excited,
uh, for our listeners who are out there.

877
00:37:03,742 --> 00:37:06,531
You know, we've maybe mentioned
it before, but yes, we will be

878
00:37:06,531 --> 00:37:08,107
there- Yes … at this event.

879
00:37:08,154 --> 00:37:13,900
We're looking forward to it Worth
asking, is it beginner friendly?

880
00:37:13,901 --> 00:37:16,447
Like, can a curious couple come
just to watch and, and look at it?

881
00:37:16,447 --> 00:37:17,337
Absolutely, yeah.

882
00:37:17,449 --> 00:37:18,834
So there's gonna be- 'Cause
it's art, essentially.

883
00:37:18,889 --> 00:37:19,209
Yeah.

884
00:37:19,272 --> 00:37:21,211
Yeah, this is presented as art.

885
00:37:21,245 --> 00:37:24,979
You know, one of my driving reasons
for doing this was, you know, for one,

886
00:37:24,984 --> 00:37:27,971
you know, fundraising, uh, for the
Montrose Center, which I've been a fan

887
00:37:27,972 --> 00:37:29,562
of the Montrose Center for a long time.

888
00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:32,107
You know, they do… They're
our LGBT center here.

889
00:37:32,408 --> 00:37:36,195
They do counseling, they
have a at-risk youth program.

890
00:37:36,226 --> 00:37:40,326
There, there's, you know, it's really
great to have a active center like that

891
00:37:40,336 --> 00:37:43,967
here in Houston, where I know a lot
of even major cities like Atlanta have

892
00:37:43,967 --> 00:37:46,026
no LGBT center, which is wild to me.

893
00:37:46,142 --> 00:37:50,599
And so, you know, so yeah, supporting
them, supporting Bound HTX, which

894
00:37:50,601 --> 00:37:54,126
is a nonprofit that I started,
uh, with my friend Gabe, that we

895
00:37:54,126 --> 00:37:57,907
teach really, really cheap classes,
Shibari classes every month, where

896
00:37:57,940 --> 00:37:59,503
anybody can come and be exposed.

897
00:37:59,914 --> 00:38:03,974
Um, but then, you know, my other force
behind it was that so many people, uh,

898
00:38:03,974 --> 00:38:07,100
you know, you know, and, and social
media and, and things like that,

899
00:38:07,576 --> 00:38:10,725
uh, just, you know, think of rope
bondage and they're like, "Oh, sex."

900
00:38:10,777 --> 00:38:15,209
And so I was posting some art, and me and
Instagram constantly fight about it, where

901
00:38:15,210 --> 00:38:18,876
they wanna take down- … things that
are, that are very overtly not sexual.

902
00:38:18,876 --> 00:38:22,157
You know, the person has- Yeah … you
know, has clothes on, and, you

903
00:38:22,157 --> 00:38:24,424
know, just because it's bondage
or, and something like that.

904
00:38:24,787 --> 00:38:28,844
Where, you know, there would be, like,
almost fully nude, uh, women, you know,

905
00:38:28,853 --> 00:38:30,260
being posted, pictures being posted.

906
00:38:30,277 --> 00:38:30,634
Yeah.

907
00:38:30,710 --> 00:38:32,454
Yeah, no, I fol- I follow them all.

908
00:38:32,516 --> 00:38:33,104
Yeah, yeah.

909
00:38:33,333 --> 00:38:37,040
A- and, and, and, you know, and
it's, yeah, and it's no big deal.

910
00:38:37,087 --> 00:38:40,155
And so, like, so that was, you know,
my other driving force was like,

911
00:38:40,156 --> 00:38:45,020
you know, there, there, it's been an
art form for, you know, 500 years.

912
00:38:45,055 --> 00:38:49,544
Why, why is it, it being forced
to be done in, in bars and dark

913
00:38:49,566 --> 00:38:51,112
corners and things like that- Yeah

914
00:38:51,112 --> 00:38:53,045
instead of respected as
an art form that it is?

915
00:38:53,519 --> 00:38:54,098
Right.

916
00:38:54,135 --> 00:38:54,462
Right.

917
00:38:54,473 --> 00:38:56,726
It definitely has a lot
of censorship around it.

918
00:38:56,726 --> 00:38:56,982
Yeah.

919
00:38:56,984 --> 00:38:57,228
Yeah.

920
00:38:57,233 --> 00:38:58,571
So, like, everybody's welcome.

921
00:38:58,572 --> 00:39:00,157
We, you know, we want
everybody to be welcome.

922
00:39:00,177 --> 00:39:03,265
That was kind of the purpose of
this and, you know, kind of the

923
00:39:03,265 --> 00:39:05,843
purpose of partnering with the
Montrose Center, which, you know, ha-

924
00:39:05,896 --> 00:39:07,524
appeals to a wide variety of people.

925
00:39:07,525 --> 00:39:10,543
You know, there's, uh, we're on their
calendar, and actually that's where I

926
00:39:10,544 --> 00:39:12,776
get the most calls for Shibari sessions.

927
00:39:12,955 --> 00:39:14,747
Th- there's, "Hey, we see you-" Is
through them … "on Montrose Center

928
00:39:14,748 --> 00:39:17,848
calendar." And, you know, so, you
know, it's a wide variety of people

929
00:39:17,849 --> 00:39:19,883
that, that, uh, that will see it there.

930
00:39:19,906 --> 00:39:23,799
I've reached out, you know, my
judges are a wide variety of people.

931
00:39:24,054 --> 00:39:24,487
Yeah.

932
00:39:24,527 --> 00:39:27,992
You know, none of them are, you
know, in, in the, the Shibari world.

933
00:39:27,992 --> 00:39:31,210
There will be one, uh, technical
judge as well to be announced.

934
00:39:31,277 --> 00:39:33,709
And so none of them, or the, the
other ones are in the Shibari world

935
00:39:33,709 --> 00:39:35,369
because it n- it is presented as art.

936
00:39:35,700 --> 00:39:39,806
So we want people, especially people
who haven't seen it, who wanna, who

937
00:39:39,809 --> 00:39:42,652
want to see it, who are interested in
it, to be able to see that artistic

938
00:39:42,652 --> 00:39:47,776
value and how much more it is than
just sexy time in the bedroom.

939
00:39:48,872 --> 00:39:50,074
That's awesome, man.

940
00:39:50,086 --> 00:39:50,831
I can't wait.

941
00:39:50,870 --> 00:39:51,483
I'm, yeah.

942
00:39:51,561 --> 00:39:52,476
I, I am very excited.

943
00:39:52,481 --> 00:39:52,850
I cannot wait.

944
00:39:52,857 --> 00:39:53,136
Yeah.

945
00:39:53,136 --> 00:39:54,876
Well- I can't wait to meet you, so.

946
00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:55,383
Yeah.

947
00:39:55,436 --> 00:39:57,348
It, we, we are looking forward to it.

948
00:39:57,594 --> 00:40:01,553
Now, you know, we're, we're gonna
start wrapping up, but before we do,

949
00:40:01,573 --> 00:40:03,413
there, there is one big question.

950
00:40:03,476 --> 00:40:07,674
There are a lot of people out there
who are like us in the fact that

951
00:40:07,820 --> 00:40:09,393
they don't really know much about it.

952
00:40:09,394 --> 00:40:11,136
They maybe just listen to the podcast.

953
00:40:11,157 --> 00:40:12,230
They're intrigued.

954
00:40:12,726 --> 00:40:15,914
From an expert like yourself,
what's one piece of advice for the

955
00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:17,783
person listening who's curious?

956
00:40:17,798 --> 00:40:21,261
Mm. Uh- So g- most 101 classes,
they're, they're really,

957
00:40:21,263 --> 00:40:23,081
really low pressure, low risk.

958
00:40:23,081 --> 00:40:25,353
You're, you know, you're not gonna be
learning anything that's, you know,

959
00:40:25,468 --> 00:40:29,818
that's gonna be dangerous or anything
like that in your first classes.

960
00:40:29,855 --> 00:40:32,805
And so, you know, there isn't, you
know, there… I always tell people

961
00:40:32,812 --> 00:40:33,860
there's nothing to be nervous about.

962
00:40:33,860 --> 00:40:35,563
Like it's not, you know,
it's not a big deal.

963
00:40:35,563 --> 00:40:38,914
And I'm, I'm, I'm really big about,
and I, some people say I have, uh,

964
00:40:39,289 --> 00:40:41,724
competence blindness 'cause I'm
like, "Oh, I can do it. You, you

965
00:40:41,724 --> 00:40:42,637
can do it. Like it's no big deal."

966
00:40:43,233 --> 00:40:45,288
But, uh, but like there's
nothing to be nervous about.

967
00:40:45,288 --> 00:40:48,894
Like nobody's gonna be like Nobody's
gonna judge you, like, if you struggle

968
00:40:48,895 --> 00:40:50,361
to get, learn how to do the knots.

969
00:40:50,384 --> 00:40:50,395
Mm-hmm.

970
00:40:50,396 --> 00:40:53,601
And, like, and nobody's gonna force you
into th- something you don't wanna do.

971
00:40:53,622 --> 00:40:59,213
I actually have a, a service I do for free
on my, on my website called Tied Together.

972
00:40:59,433 --> 00:41:02,165
Um, and it's a directory that
I worked r- very hard on.

973
00:41:02,176 --> 00:41:07,834
There's 857, uh, Shibari organizations
on there, um, where you can go and you

974
00:41:07,835 --> 00:41:11,239
can look up the Shibari organization
nearest you to try to find classes.

975
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:14,633
There's some stores or, you know,
st- shops on there to buy rope.

976
00:41:15,107 --> 00:41:18,765
There's classes, there's, uh,
organizations, nonprofits,

977
00:41:18,828 --> 00:41:22,402
events, all sorts of different
stuff on there where, you know…

978
00:41:22,402 --> 00:41:24,533
And it's free, and there's not
anything, like, you have to do.

979
00:41:24,533 --> 00:41:27,012
You know, you just go, and you put
in your zip code or city and state

980
00:41:27,054 --> 00:41:28,627
and… Well, not just city and state.

981
00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:31,203
It's international, so,
you know, wherever you are.

982
00:41:31,204 --> 00:41:34,075
And, uh, and it'll show you, at
least the ones I've been able to

983
00:41:34,077 --> 00:41:35,380
find, the closest ones to you.

984
00:41:35,641 --> 00:41:36,059
I'm gonna look at it now.

985
00:41:36,059 --> 00:41:36,164
Great.

986
00:41:36,164 --> 00:41:37,116
I'm, I'm, I'm excited.

987
00:41:37,435 --> 00:41:38,940
Um, would, would you
be, would you be tied?

988
00:41:38,945 --> 00:41:40,195
Oh, most definitely.

989
00:41:40,236 --> 00:41:40,490
Really?

990
00:41:40,490 --> 00:41:42,526
And I would do suspension and everything.

991
00:41:42,557 --> 00:41:43,708
If I, if I… Yeah.

992
00:41:43,708 --> 00:41:43,718
Yeah?

993
00:41:43,895 --> 00:41:44,250
Yeah.

994
00:41:44,343 --> 00:41:45,200
If- Would I be tied?

995
00:41:45,378 --> 00:41:46,279
Do you think I would do that?

996
00:41:46,353 --> 00:41:46,841
No.

997
00:41:46,946 --> 00:41:47,438
Really?

998
00:41:47,493 --> 00:41:47,877
No.

999
00:41:47,913 --> 00:41:48,723
I think I would.

1000
00:41:48,889 --> 00:41:50,927
You, you know- You know,
I'm open to experiences.

1001
00:41:50,927 --> 00:41:54,311
I am W- for, for Bound, we, you
know, we've got a group class we do

1002
00:41:54,361 --> 00:42:00,007
every month, and more than men tying
women whenever we have, you know, uh,

1003
00:42:00,015 --> 00:42:03,766
straight couples or, or, you know,
or the… More times than not, the

1004
00:42:03,766 --> 00:42:05,577
woman is the rigger for our classes.

1005
00:42:05,580 --> 00:42:06,262
And I don't know if that's unique.

1006
00:42:06,262 --> 00:42:06,706
Really?

1007
00:42:07,188 --> 00:42:10,673
I, I, you know, I, I feel like that
that's kind of unique to us maybe because,

1008
00:42:11,013 --> 00:42:14,755
you know, we're both, uh, or all the
people who are running it are gay, and

1009
00:42:14,755 --> 00:42:16,427
we have a very mixed group of people.

1010
00:42:16,429 --> 00:42:17,636
We've got poly people.

1011
00:42:17,638 --> 00:42:19,742
We, we have trans people.

1012
00:42:19,743 --> 00:42:20,951
We have non-binary people.

1013
00:42:20,953 --> 00:42:23,735
We have got kind of a mix of everybody, so
maybe they feel more comfortable in our,

1014
00:42:24,061 --> 00:42:27,776
our class, and so maybe it's a little…
But in our classes, more often than

1015
00:42:27,776 --> 00:42:31,409
not, whenever it comes to those couples,
the, the, the woman is the one tying.

1016
00:42:31,561 --> 00:42:31,905
Yeah.

1017
00:42:31,907 --> 00:42:32,885
I mean, I would tie you.

1018
00:42:33,237 --> 00:42:33,592
Yeah?

1019
00:42:33,782 --> 00:42:34,491
I, you know what?

1020
00:42:34,495 --> 00:42:34,600
I would- I'd leave you.

1021
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:38,311
I'd leave you up there and be like, "Bye."
I would be very afraid for you to tie me.

1022
00:42:38,329 --> 00:42:38,623
Yeah.

1023
00:42:38,623 --> 00:42:40,045
I would want, I would want
somebody else to do it.

1024
00:42:40,045 --> 00:42:40,380
I would like to learn.

1025
00:42:40,531 --> 00:42:44,429
I mean, it's- I've got, uh, these two
friends that, that come that they've

1026
00:42:44,453 --> 00:42:47,105
come to probably, like, half the classes,
and they're two of my best friends.

1027
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:48,430
Like, I, I've known them for a long time.

1028
00:42:48,481 --> 00:42:52,307
And one of them is, he's
6'2", about 245, 250.

1029
00:42:52,630 --> 00:42:56,939
The other, I think he's 5'4", and the 5'4"
is the rigger, and he's the one who ties.

1030
00:42:57,036 --> 00:42:57,378
Uh, yeah.

1031
00:42:57,378 --> 00:42:58,013
It's really cute.

1032
00:42:58,391 --> 00:42:59,006
Go figure.

1033
00:42:59,511 --> 00:43:02,390
Well, Travis, I appreciate
you coming on for us.

1034
00:43:02,442 --> 00:43:06,135
This was actually one of the, uh,
conversations where I feel like I

1035
00:43:06,137 --> 00:43:08,131
learned every five minutes something new.

1036
00:43:08,432 --> 00:43:10,355
No, seriously, I can talk
about Shibari all the time.

1037
00:43:10,362 --> 00:43:11,590
I, I love it.

1038
00:43:12,188 --> 00:43:14,677
So guys, tell everyone one more
time where they can find you.

1039
00:43:14,939 --> 00:43:15,229
Yeah.

1040
00:43:15,651 --> 00:43:18,816
So www.shibarisessions.com.

1041
00:43:19,118 --> 00:43:20,844
Um, and there's a lot of stuff on there.

1042
00:43:20,844 --> 00:43:24,237
There's my shop, there's my gallery,
but there's also a couple, uh, things

1043
00:43:24,237 --> 00:43:25,510
that are, that are really important.

1044
00:43:25,510 --> 00:43:29,435
There's one called the, the Rope
Library that gives a lot of history

1045
00:43:29,435 --> 00:43:32,899
of Shibari, some of the stuff that I
talked about, and more like how it,

1046
00:43:33,049 --> 00:43:36,136
uh, became, you know, photographic
art and things like that, and some of

1047
00:43:36,140 --> 00:43:37,536
the people who really pioneered that.

1048
00:43:37,950 --> 00:43:41,738
I think there's, uh, 10 or 12
articles up that are, like, really

1049
00:43:41,740 --> 00:43:44,308
quick reads, two or three minutes,
um, and there's more coming out.

1050
00:43:44,820 --> 00:43:48,024
And then also tied together,
the directory is on there.

1051
00:43:48,370 --> 00:43:53,521
And then also boundhtx.org is our
nonprofit, uh, where we teach…

1052
00:43:53,537 --> 00:43:55,126
Uh, we do a class every month.

1053
00:43:55,143 --> 00:43:56,249
We actually do two classes.

1054
00:43:56,253 --> 00:43:58,709
We do a 101 and a themed class.

1055
00:43:59,112 --> 00:44:02,443
Um, and I always encourage people, I'm
like, "Book both, even if it's your first

1056
00:44:02,455 --> 00:44:06,325
time." We really try to gear it to where
you can go straight from one to the other.

1057
00:44:06,561 --> 00:44:09,483
The themed class is not intermediate,
it's not advanced, it's not anything.

1058
00:44:09,755 --> 00:44:13,020
It's something that you can carry
forward those 101 skills right into.

1059
00:44:13,082 --> 00:44:16,699
And then also on my website, there's a
button that says ShibARTi, and if you

1060
00:44:16,700 --> 00:44:19,674
click there, there's everything you
would ever wanna know about the event.

1061
00:44:20,067 --> 00:44:22,560
There's also sponsorship opportunities
that are still available.

1062
00:44:22,562 --> 00:44:24,651
There's volunteer opportunities
that are available.

1063
00:44:24,973 --> 00:44:27,981
There's artist applications that
are available, and tickets are out.

1064
00:44:29,036 --> 00:44:29,667
Nice.

1065
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:29,677
Okay.

1066
00:44:29,699 --> 00:44:30,454
That is awesome.

1067
00:44:30,659 --> 00:44:35,989
So ShibARTi is- Yes … Saturday, November
14th at the Montrose Center in Houston.

1068
00:44:36,341 --> 00:44:40,398
The link for tickets will be in our show
notes, and you can come find us, 'cause

1069
00:44:40,468 --> 00:44:42,646
like I said, Pris and I will be out there.

1070
00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:43,277
Yes.

1071
00:44:43,291 --> 00:44:47,145
And if ShibARTi gets you curious about
the lifestyle side of things, we're

1072
00:44:47,145 --> 00:44:48,969
hosting our Swinger 101 workshop.

1073
00:44:49,673 --> 00:44:50,741
The very next day.

1074
00:44:50,784 --> 00:44:53,408
Sunday, November 15th at
Forbidden Fruit in Austin.

1075
00:44:53,581 --> 00:44:58,172
It's $20 a person, light refreshments,
and it's a judgment-free place to ask all

1076
00:44:58,173 --> 00:44:59,965
the questions you've been wanting to ask.

1077
00:45:00,028 --> 00:45:00,580
That's right.

1078
00:45:00,580 --> 00:45:02,269
You get full time with us.

1079
00:45:02,272 --> 00:45:02,704
Yes.

1080
00:45:02,765 --> 00:45:03,697
Make it a weekend.

1081
00:45:03,697 --> 00:45:05,969
Rope on Saturday, swinging on Sunday.

1082
00:45:05,971 --> 00:45:06,766
That's all I'm saying.

1083
00:45:06,779 --> 00:45:07,996
You can go from Houston to Austin.

1084
00:45:08,135 --> 00:45:08,787
It is possible.

1085
00:45:08,787 --> 00:45:08,801
Yes.

1086
00:45:08,865 --> 00:45:09,628
I think so.

1087
00:45:09,952 --> 00:45:13,811
And fellas, if all this rope talk
has you wanting to bring your

1088
00:45:13,824 --> 00:45:16,045
A-game, Firm Tek has you covered.

1089
00:45:16,260 --> 00:45:20,123
Code beyomono, B-E-Y-O-M-O-N-O.

1090
00:45:20,296 --> 00:45:23,794
Every sponsor code we've got
is in the show notes, and using

1091
00:45:23,795 --> 00:45:25,218
them keeps this show going.

1092
00:45:25,287 --> 00:45:26,169
Hells yeah.

1093
00:45:26,340 --> 00:45:30,329
You can also catch us on Full Swap
Radio every Thursday at 2:00 PM and

1094
00:45:30,329 --> 00:45:32,963
7:00 PM Central at fullswapradio.com.

1095
00:45:33,099 --> 00:45:33,360
Yeah.

1096
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:37,371
And mark your calendars for Krazy Winter
Nights in Kansas City, February 19th

1097
00:45:37,534 --> 00:45:40,490
through the 21st, 2027, so next year.

1098
00:45:40,655 --> 00:45:40,923
That's right.

1099
00:45:40,932 --> 00:45:44,996
Head into krazykasbh.com
and use code beyomono.

1100
00:45:45,071 --> 00:45:46,667
We'll be there, and we
wanna see you there.

1101
00:45:46,943 --> 00:45:47,876
Yeah, we do.

1102
00:45:47,897 --> 00:45:49,382
We're gonna do a live show out there, too.

1103
00:45:49,424 --> 00:45:49,777
I know.

1104
00:45:49,794 --> 00:45:50,245
I'm excited.

1105
00:45:50,316 --> 00:45:50,570
Yeah, yeah.

1106
00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:53,847
For everything else merch, every
episode, our blogs, head over

1107
00:45:53,848 --> 00:45:56,344
to www.beyond-monogamy.com.

1108
00:45:56,558 --> 00:46:00,464
And while you're there, use our
100% anonymous confessional.

1109
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:04,989
Tell us about your lifestyle experiences,
your ENM experiences, kink, the

1110
00:46:04,990 --> 00:46:10,274
show, this show- … Shibari, or
anything else that you want to say.

1111
00:46:10,384 --> 00:46:10,403
Yes.

1112
00:46:10,403 --> 00:46:11,348
It's available.

1113
00:46:11,697 --> 00:46:13,315
Maybe you'll hear it on a future episode.

1114
00:46:13,316 --> 00:46:13,379
Yeah.

1115
00:46:13,379 --> 00:46:14,344
We talk about it, you know.

1116
00:46:14,396 --> 00:46:14,694
Yeah.

1117
00:46:14,694 --> 00:46:16,647
And if you haven't
subscribed yet, do that.

1118
00:46:16,690 --> 00:46:20,015
Follow, rate us wherever
you're listening or watching.

1119
00:46:20,439 --> 00:46:21,057
That's right.

1120
00:46:21,281 --> 00:46:24,201
And with that, we thank you all
for joining us for another episode,

1121
00:46:24,218 --> 00:46:25,594
and we will see you guys next week.

1122
00:46:25,790 --> 00:46:27,447
Bye.