Swinger Birthday Weekend at the Club: Adam's Wild Quickie Recap

0:07 All right, y'all. Before we dive in, a quick heads-up This show is raw, real, and definitely not rated PG. We're talking about adult themes, sexual content, and the kinda stuff you probably don't want blasting through your speakers at work or around your kids. So grab some headphones, pour your drink of choice, and get comfy. Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not licensed therapists, counselors, or sex couches. Sex coaches. Sex coaches. Not sex couches. We're just a couple of people sharing our lives, experiences, and sexy adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

0:48 So with that, pull up a chair and enjoy the show. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm Pris, and on today's quickie, we're gonna be talking about my boo bear's birthday weekend. What? Yep, Adam just celebrated at Club Eden, and we're bringing you the full recap, the good, the bad, and everything in between. Yeah. We figured instead of keeping this one to ourselves, we'd rather bring you guys along for the ride. Yeah. So sit back and let's get into it. And hey, if you're new here, go ahead, hit follow or subscribe so you don't miss another episode. Let's dive in. Yeah. So I got, uh… I, I normally will celebrate my birthday for the, the week leading up to the day, because my birthday is on August 1st.

1:35 Mm-hmm. So I normally say the week preceding- Yeah … is the start of my, my celebrations. Right. And so I was feeling kinda jovial, jovial. But, uh, Friday, Friday came around, 'cause my birthday was Saturday, Friday came around and, uh- What did we do Friday? What did we do Friday? Uh, Friday we actually- I don't remember We recorded. So we had- Oh, that's right, we stayed home. Yeah, we had plans with a couple, uh, that fell through. Yeah. Uh, and we were looking to do something else, and then I was like- We were like, "Should we go to the club?" … " Well, you know what?

2:16 We gotta record for Sunday's show. Let's go ahead and do that. I'll edit it real quick, and then we'll figure out what we are gonna do." Yeah. Uh, so we did our show. Mm-hmm. Uh, and by the time I was done editing it was like 10:30 at night, and you were asleep right next to me on the couch. So I was like, "That's the end of our night." Yes. Uh, but, uh, celebrations really started the next day- Yeah … uh, which was actually my birthday, which was- Yeah really cool. It was fun. We woke up early. Yeah. And we stopped and got some Dutch Bros. The best. And we made our way to… Oh, I had to stop and pick up some gifts that our daughter got for you.

3:00 Yeah, so I am, uh, I've become a Hedo dude guy. He loves Hedo dudes. First of all- I'm a Hedo guy … people, we used- That's right guys and women, whatever, if you wore Hedo- Hedo dudes, he would be like, "Those shoes look… are so ugly. They're s- this- But oh my God, it's like- I would never wear them … walking on pillows. So now he gets it. They are so frigging comfortable. Yeah. They are so comfortable that I wore them to Disney World. Yeah. Walked around in them, and it was amazing. Yeah. I was great. Yeah. Yeah, my feet were fine. Yeah. Yeah. They're, they're great shoes. So, uh, yeah, I got a couple of- So you got a couple of them … couple pairs of them. Yeah. Yeah. You got, um, some black ones and some kinda beige ones. That's right. That's right. And so- Now, we had the… Did we do breakfast someplace?

3:43 Well, after we got the shoes- Uh-huh … um, it was already… Oh yeah, we did go to breakfast. We went to Eddie's. Eddie's Taco House. You were like- That's right … " Where should we go?" And we're like, "Eddie's?" And we're like, "Okay." Oh my gosh, so if you're in San Antonio you gotta stop by Eddie's Taco House. They're right- Yeah … down the street actually from our favorite club. But- Yeah … the, this place, oh my gosh, their tacos are huge. Yeah. Like, he can only get one. I mean, ridiculously big. Yeah. And, uh, you know, I just, I was al- the, the lady would always see us in the evening and she would always say, you know, "We have really great breakfast. You really gotta give it a try," and so we did. And, uh, you know, I'm a, I'm a Leo, so that apparently means- Why do you keep saying that?

4:26 Because that's, I keep hea- people keep sh- saying that, you know, if you're a Leo that you're- Oh my God … wanting to be the center of attention. You don't even believe any of that. I don't, but you say that too. But you, but you keep talking about it. You say that too. It doesn't matter. You said… But either way, apparently I… Do I wanna be the center of attention? I'm a Pisces, and I wanna be the center of attention. It has nothing to do with- That's not what I asked you … astrological. Do I wanna be the center of attention? Always. Am I a Leo? Oh my God, you're also Adam. Well, there you go. But- And kinda- … girls just wanna have fun … sorta an only child. What? And kinda sorta an only child, so. Oh, yeah. I mean- There you go … that only child syndrome.

5:07 Que lindo que nada. I don't know. I, I'm just saying. Uh, so I like to be, uh, the center of attention. Yes, you do. And, uh, we walked into Eddie's and I s- I, I told them, I said, "Hey." " It's my birthday." " It's my birthday." And, uh- He told everybody that we saw … I, I was like a politician in that place. Mm-hmm. I was shaking hands and, and- I should have bought him like a little crown- … the whole nine … or something. I wanted everybody to know. Uh, so we sat down at the table and, uh, we ordered our breakfast. Well, hold on. Yeah. He never wants anybody to know it's his birthday, so this was the first year. This is true. This was the first year. I really tried to, uh… It's that whole fake it till you make it thing. Yeah. I'm really trying to celebrate myself- Yeah which is something that I never, ever did in the past.

5:50 Uh, so I was, like, trying to genuinely celebrate myself. Well, you t- yeah. And the only way to s- really celebrate myself is to push other people to celebrate me. I got you. You know what I'm saying? Oh, neat. That's the only way that I could do it, and that's exactly what I did, baby- because I let everybody know, and then guess what? Yeah, who got free sopapillas for their birthday? That's right, this guy right here. Yeah. Why? Because he's- And they sang- … moons over my hammy a little bit. And they sang to him. They did. They sang a beautiful- They sang to Panchito. There was… Yeah. And there was a lot of different voices and different octaves. Oh, my gosh. And it sound- I did not sing for him … it was a, it was a choir, for sure. Uh, but that was, that was fun. That's good. I waved to everybody like I was, uh, Miss America on a, on a parade float.

6:33 You did. I have it on tape. It's true. I have it on tape. Yeah. All old school. I have it on tape. I have it on VHS. Uh, yeah. I recorded it. I forgot to post that. Yeah, yeah. I had to, uh- I recorded that. It was good. Um, yeah. That was, that was delicious food though, I tell you that. So then after that, we went to Walmart. Yeah, we did a little bit of shopping. We went to Bass Pro Shops We went to Bass Pro Shop 'cause we were kind of looking for a certain thing, a tent. And then we went to, then we went to Walmart, huh? And then we went to Walmart. Yeah, and we had- And then we checked in … pick up a few things, and then we checked into the hotel. Hotel took a, hotel took a while. Hotel had us waiting 45 minutes. Ooh, boy.

7:14 I was, I was… I got to tell you guys, it was hot, uh, here in, uh, s- the San Antonio area. Yeah. Uh, it was well over 100 degrees. It was- Yeah … disrespectfully hot. It was hot. And we were out and about. And we were trying to check in early, and they said, "Yeah, no." Yeah. " I don't think so." Well, they were filled. And so we went and, yeah, they had, they had us waiting, like, 45 minutes. I got to write a review for that one. Yeah, that was- I don't like that. And that's a different hotel than we usually stay in. That was a rough one. Yeah. Um- It was nice, though. Yeah, but it was, it, that, that is the thing. Where that sucked, everything else was great about the hotel. It was nice rooms. They even have an indoor pool. Indoor- I thought that was really nice heated pool. Ooh, boy. And, um, they could upgrade their TV, 'cause that was weird.

7:58 That was a little weird. That we couldn't even log into, like, Tubi or anything. Yeah. We mirrored our phones, but that was kind of bunk too, so. Yeah. But, I mean, hey, you take the good with the bad, right? Yeah. Uh, and I got to say, that's probably gonna be our new go-to, 'cause that was- That was nice uh, we got to give them another chance, you know? I, I like to- Yes … give everybody the benefit of the doubt. Okay. Yeah. So, um, we did, we were finally able to check in. We got into the room. We, uh, we had some fantastic sex. We did. Uh- It's always at a hotel … just you and me together. Yeah, we had, we had amazing sex. Yeah. Uh, so much so that I put you out.

8:39 Oh, yeah. Yeah. I said, "I need a nap." I put her out. He did. Uh- I took a two-hour nap. She took a- Oh, no, I meant, like, a 30-minute nap, but we had- Yeah, no- … two hours to spare … it w- it was meant to be more. Yeah. Um, but you woke up and you were like, "I gotta, I should get up now." "I got to get ready. I have to shower." I was like, "Are you sure?" Um- And we just made it on time … and we really, actually, we're, we're a few minutes late. Yeah. Uh, but we hurried ourselves over to a pizza place in San Antonio called Dough. Yes. Dough. Dough Neapolitan Pizzeria. I got to tell you, that food was delicious. It was good. It wa- it really was good. Uh, and the service was great. Yeah.

9:19 Um, good service, and you… And we made a reservation 'cause we were eight of us. And so, um- We had to be there a little bit earlier than expected, so I had to move it up. But it was fun. We had some friends come out- Yeah, yeah … enjoy some dinner with us. Now, you know, I gotta tell you, th- th- so this is, this is a funny thing for me because normally when we have things, events, whatever, we normally have a large crowd, and so it's very few times that I have to single out the people that we talk to. In this particular situation, we were one of four couples. Mm-hmm. So there was eight of us total. Um, and Three of those people outside of my wife, well, I, I pretty much wanted to have sex with all the women at, at the table.

10:13 Yes. Yeah. And- And you have minus one. Yeah, pretty much. Um, and so it's kind of… And you did. Yeah. A- and so it's kind of s- it's kind of weird sitting there. Mm-hmm. And, like, I'm talking to somebody, I'm talking to one, one woman who I've had sex with, and I'm ta- and, you know, I'm always thinking sex, and so obviously I'm there and I'm talking to her and I'm thinking about what she looked like, uh, when I was on top of her. Mm-hmm. Which, you know, you gotta get through the conversation, whatever. So then I'm over here and I'm, I'm sitting next to one. Mm-hmm. Uh, and I'm talking to her, and I'm thinking about, you know, how we're probably gonna go at it later- Mm-hmm … or whatever.

11:01 You know, and stuff like that. Like, my, my mind is there. And I know you don't, you don't have that, do you? No. No. No. Like, you can talk to people and sex does not pop up in your mind at all. No. Man, I am jealous of that. No. Yeah. It's always there. I'm healthy, I gu- you're healthy, I gu- I don't know. I mean, that's- Is it healthy? I mean, I guess you don't have anything else to think about. Right. I mean- At that moment, I guess I didn't … let's be nice. Hey- Yeah … it was a good- No, um- … it was a good birthday. Yeah. No, I, I don't… I mean, it's rare. It happens, but not all the time. Huh. Yeah. Wow. Uh, well, yeah, that- I mean, but that's- … that was pretty much a thing for me.

11:42 Yeah. Uh, that was- I mean, I'm sure you're not the only person. I don't know. It was a fun experience. I'm not saying it was a bad thing. Mm-hmm. Uh, but it's just kind of surreal. I sat back for a minute and I was like, "I wanna have sex with all of these women," and then the thought of having you and them all in one bed- Mm-hmm … for, like, a one, like, a big, uh, Adam orgy, like a, a dog pile on Adam kind of thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? We're dogs now. No, that's what it's called. Is it? Yes, it's called a dog… I d- I don't know, man. It's, that's, that's- Is that what you call it? … the thing. It's, it's when you pile on top of somebody. Okay. Yeah. Damn. Don't get all feminist on me, bruh. We're over here talking.

12:22 Anyway. It's your birthday. So yeah, you know, I had that, uh… I don't know. I, I had that fantasy. Yeah. Um, but yeah. Or that thought. Yeah, I mean- Yeah … that, i- in that immediate moment it was like, wow, that's, uh, that would be, that would be fun. Um- That would be fun. Mm-hmm. But, uh, yeah, we had a really Just a great time there at the restaurant. We did. Uh, and it, what was cool was it was very intimate. Uh, it was with- It was, yeah uh, uh, just a few couples that we know and love- Mm-hmm … and we like to spend time with. Mm-hmm. And, uh, and it, it, it wasn't anything more than that. I didn't have to feel like we, uh, had to entertain anybody.

13:03 Yeah. Everybody was talking to everybody. Yeah. It was, it was just a nice- And we did, yeah. Everybody was talking to everybody. Um, some people knew each other, some didn't, and so it was nice. It was a good time. Um, conversations and laughter. My goodness. Yeah. Yeah. Nonstop laughter. That was, that was fun. Uh, so then from there we left, uh, to go… We had to go get some, some THC drink. Yeah? Yeah. We had to go get some, um, Buddies. We didn't do Buddies, we did Uncle Arnie's. Is that what we did that day? Yeah, Uncle Arnie's lemonade, lemon and lime drink. That was so good.

13:44 It's 1,000 milligrams in that bottle. Yeah. Yeah. And each ounce- And so every shot, what sh- yeah, shot glass- Yeah … an ounce is, is 10 milligrams. Is 10 milligrams. Yeah. And so, yeah. And then I got two little, little, little Buddies, little shots. Yeah, yeah. You t- you took those out. Um, I got one for you and one for me, but then I ended up drinking yours- … by accident. Yeah. And the other one was mango flavored and I was not a fan. Yeah. Very delicious. Not a mango fan. Those were Uncle Arnie ones. Um… Yeah, those were a different brand that we did. Yeah. But it was good, huh? Those were, those were good. Yeah. Um- So we stopped to get that, and that was it, right? Yeah, we headed over to the club, 'cause by that time we were pretty much- It was already time … it was about that time, uh, to show… We showed up a little bit early so that, uh, you wanted to decorate a little bit there.

14:30 Yeah, yeah. Um, and it's funny, being… Walking into a club when the lights are on is, uh, it's weird. It's weird. Now, luckily that, uh, they, they had just turned off the lights, so, uh, but we've been in that club when the lights are on, and I don't know. Yeah. It's just, it's weird being in a club with the lights on. Um, but, uh, we went, uh, there. We, we set up, and we were able to relax, you know? And it w- it, it, everything is great at our home club, you know? It was, it was a nice, relaxing time. Yeah, we had two couches. Yeah, we had two couches. We had two couches right next to each other, and everybody fit comfortably.

15:10 It was nice. Everybody had their drinks and whatever, and we were just there chilling. Yeah, we had a nice, a, a nice little crowd of friends that showed up there. Yeah. And, uh, uh, you know, it's always a, a bash whenever we have, uh, our friend Ray show up. Mm-hmm. Uh, 'cause you already know she's gonna show up with her bag of toys. Yes. And she was ready to, uh, to work those things, huh? Yeah, yeah. But, uh, y- so she goes around and she's, she offers basically pleasure to women- Yes … with her toys. Yes. And a lot of women don't- Don't take up on it … don't even respond. No. Because I, I don't know if they think that they're only gonna get… Like, she's gonna do it there in the center. She'll take you into a little cubby and close the curtain.

15:53 I don't think they know that. And then I don't, I just don't, I don't… A lot of women just aren't trusting, you know? Um, I think If they n- I don't know. Well, so- I don't know … let me ask you. If it was you and you didn't know Ray and we were at the club and we were still kinda- Yes we were still kinda new- Yes … to the club. Yes. The answer is yes. R- really? If she c- if she came up to you- Yes … and she said, "Hey, can, can I work these on you?" Yeah, I think you're hot, whatever. She's not, like, just, "Hey, I have a toy." Yeah. Like, she's very sweet about it, and she asks you, "Can I, can I play with you?" She's kn- she knows me, and she still asks me. Yeah, yeah. Um, and so she's, you know, very nice, very sweet.

16:37 She'll tell you what she's doing real quick, and then she'll do it. Um- So yeah, she'll tell you what she's doing, what she has, and she'll just go at it with you. Yeah. Well, uh, she, she certainly did that. Yeah. I, I, I definitely saw her, uh, make her rounds on that. Yeah. But a, yeah, a lot of peop- a lot of w- I was telling you, a lot of women, I was like, "Why? Why not?" I don't know. I'm cool with putting on a show like that. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Um, I don't care who's watching. I'm also getting pleased, so I don't care. But I don't think a lot of pe- women are secure enough to do that.

17:23 To have a- It's a be… It's very vulnerable … to have a really pretty woman tell you, "Hey, I think you're hot- Um, I don't even think it's that … and, uh, I wanna thank everybody." I think it's just the act of. No kidding. Yeah. I don't think it has anything to do with what she looks like. I- Because if the shoe was on the other foot and she was walking around the club and going, uh, "Hey, can I, can I give you a hand job in the back?" I'm pretty certain I'd be okay with that. I'm pretty certain you would. Yeah. I would probably be like, "Uh, yeah." I'm pretty certain there'd be a, a lot of men- Sure … that would be okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, what I found, uh, is a lot of men aren't okay with that. No? Uh, y- I don't know if you remember the very first takeover that we had ever gone to, but remember they had those, like, they had the different contests going on, uh, like an eat a pu- pussy contest- Mm-hmm or a suck a dick contest, stuff like that.

18:11 Oh, yeah, maybe. And there was a lot of trouble finding volunteers to get up there to, to do that. Hmm. Um, so I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if all the guys are very easily coaxed into, "Yeah, sure. No problem." Hmm. I think there's a lot more people out there that feel the need to have a connection rather than be just some random person immediately and in the moment. Yeah. But I get a thrill of that. Oh, I, I- Yeah. So I think- I'm not saying no … I think, I think it could be someone's fetish. Definitely mine. Yeah. Like… Wait, a fetish is something I need.

18:51 Yeah And what's the other one? Kink. A kink is- Yeah … no, kink is something I- No, fetish, fetish is something you need … something I need, and a kink is- And kink is a want So it's definitely my kink. Okay. Um, I love that. I love to be there in the center. I don't even care if you're back there with me. Like, that's hot, but I, I could be back there with a toy and be like, "Watch me." Yeah. Yeah. But that's- But you're an exhibitionist … that's, that's, that's the kink in me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm an exhibitionist, and I, I like that, so But that took… I probably could, I probably was always like that, because, I mean, I modeled when I was little, so I didn't mind, you know? Otra vez. Yeah. Don't talk, don't be saying otra vez.

19:32 Otra vez with the modeling. Why are you getting mad? Why are you make- Yeah, we joke around about stuff … why are you making fun of my Winnie the Pooh modeling? We gotta bring up the fact that you were a model. I'm just saying that I- Yes, I know you were a model … I was a model, and- You were a Winnie the Pooh model, I know … babe. I know. I'm just, I'm saying. Babe. I know the story. Just the same way you call me a, "Oh, I love you. You're so beautiful." You do that. So- … I like to be the center of attention. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you must be a Leo. Apparently I'm a Leo. I mean, I get a lot of Leo in me, so. Yeah, that's true. And Leo does come in me. What? Oh my gosh.

20:14 Yeah. Do you like that? That's suggestive. Yeah, that was good. Uh, yeah, so, uh, while we were out there, of course, we do our regular thing. We, we go back there- Mm-hmm a few different times. Yeah. Uh, the first time was, uh, was just me and you, and I think- Our friends come … our friends ended up showing up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, 'cause I did not finish you. I didn't, I didn't finish, no. No. So- I mean, I had part, playing a part in it … oh my gosh, yeah. But- Um, yeah, so that turned out, you know, for a while there, I was, uh, I was a part of a double blowjob thing, which is- Yeah always a good time. Yeah. Uh, that, that I think, I think most guys will agree, without having to coax it, the double blowjob is by far one of the hottest things that any guy could ever get.

21:01 I, you've told me that. I think most guys would agree on that. Now, I can't speak for everybody. Obviously, there's some guys that don't like- Hey, guys blowjobs at all. Y'all are gonna have to tell us, what do you like? A double blowjob. Is that, is that the best? I mean, I'm sure. I was gonna- I mean, that's a lot of coverage … well, yeah. I was- That's a lot of coverage at once. It is. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Balls and shaft all at once. Yeah. You don't have to switch. Yeah. And, you know, I mean, unless you're just really small and you can fit the whole balls and shaft- Yeah … in your mouth, in which case, well, I mean, that's… That's all right … that's just, I mean, that's- You're still gonna get it. Yeah. It's all good. But I mean, you don't have to go through all that, you know? Yeah. You don't need two people. That's right. You just need one. Just one. Um, yeah. That is fun. I was gonna sit on your face. Yeah, I don't know why you didn't.

21:42 I just decided to lay on my back and have her husband eat me out. But that was pretty hot. I'm not gonna say, I'm not gonna lie there. Yeah. So I was, I was right next, I was giving Adam a blowjob with our friend, and then I decided, I was like, "Mm, should I sit on Adam's face?" And I was like, "Mm, I'ma leave him a little bit clean. Let me, um, let me lay down and have-" Yeah, she celebrated my birthday- I did … essentially. I did. Yeah. She, we were- It's okay. We celebrate each other's birthday. Oh, we absolutely do. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you had a big orgy on mine. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a, that was a good- Mm-hmm that was a good night. That was a good one. It was a good night. That was a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, we definitely do birthdays right. Oh, yeah, we do. That's for sure. Yeah. Um, and- Well, we know when we have our certain friends, like we're… We were missing our besties.

22:25 Yeah. And had our besties been there, it would've just been even a larger party. Yeah, yeah. It was, it was definitely a lot of fun. Um, I love the club. The club takes care of us as always. You know, it was a great time there. At the, the midnight marker, they call the lap dances. Yes. Yes. And, uh, that was fun. Uh, I got lap dances from you and, uh, a couple of other friends. Mm-hmm. Uh, a good friend of, uh, one of our good friends gave me a lap dance, and oh my gosh, like she was… Ooh, she, she got it, she got it hot. Like she was… She- I walked away and I was like, "Oh, I'm walking away, uh, a little stiff." Yeah.

23:09 Uh, but yeah, that was, that was a lot of fun. Yeah. Um, what time did we end up leaving there? Well, I think you said 1:30. Yeah, that sounds about right. Well, at somewhere we had got there. Let's go back to what we… I had two of my little buddies. Yeah. And then I had pretty much two cups of two ounces each of that stuff. Right. And I'm sitting there and I'm drinking it, right? Then we go to the back. But did we notice it when we were in the back, or did we notice when we came back? When we came back. When we came back, I was like- I'm high Oh, man. I could see you, and you were to the moon.

23:53 Like, there, y- you always tell me- Yeah … when, when I'm like that, that you can tell, like, there's nobody behind the wheel. Yeah. Uh, the glaze over. Like- I was blazed. Yeah. I was lit. Yeah. Like, it was amazing. And so… Oh, that's right, 'cause when we came back I was like, "I need to eat something." I felt like… You know when you drink liquor and it hits you real hot in your belly? Yeah. Okay. You know when that's kinda goes away but you still have, like, the, a little bit of heat? Yeah. It's still hot. Yeah. That's what it felt like, and I was like, "I'm gonna throw up." Oof. Yeah. And so I sat back and I drank some water. And I or- well, we came from the back and immediately we stopped at the bar to order our food.

24:35 Yeah. Yeah. And sat down, waited. But man, I don't know how I got through. You know, you were definitely peaking. It eventually dropped off e- a little bit before you ate. Yeah. The, I could tell you were starting to come down a little bit. Uh, maybe it was from all the dancing. You did do a lot of dancing. I tried, yeah. Yeah. I did. Yeah, you did a lot of dancing. Uh, you know, I got to see something new this weekend. What was that? Uh, you were very, uh, forward. I was- A bit more … very- Yeah … forward. Yeah, I was. Uh, something that you were, you were going into this weekend trying to be your, uh, put your sluttiest foot forward, so to speak.

25:16 I try. Yeah. Yeah. So you said, "I'm gonna, I'm gonna do-" I'm gonna do what feels good … I'm gonna do what feels good. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so how'd that work out for you? Hey, so we wanna talk about something that actually is kind of important before we move any further. Yeah. ProDX Health, and here's why we love them. They do at-home testing. Like, you get a kit, you do it at home, you mail it back. STIs, hormones, real stuff that you should really actually know about. Yeah, and there's no waiting room. There's no awkward conversations, none of that. You just get your results, and if you need next steps, they help you with that, too.

25:57 Look, knowing what's going on with your body is just part of taking care of yourself and the people that you're with. Very true, it really is, and ProDX Health makes it so easy. There's really no excuse not to. That's right. Use code beyomono at prodxhealth.com. That's 15% off year-round, even more during special events. Link is in the show notes. Okay, now back to it. Back to it Worked out great. Yeah? Um, as I said, I y- I was blowing you, and then our friend's husband took over. Our friend took over. And so then I was like, "Hmm, I'm gonna lay down," and I had her husband come eat me out. And then I was done, and so he was watching y'all, so I went around and I was like, "Hmm. Ooh, he's still hard. I'm gonna rub him." So I kinda rubbed him in front of your face.

26:50 Oh, my God. Forget it. Not, like, in front, but, like, against the wall. Yeah. Yeah. And, and she, they weren't looking that close to me. Yeah. But, uh, yeah. And you, I caught your eye. And in the… Oh, yeah, man. In the distance I saw you, and, you know, it was this… It looked… It could have been the cover of a fucking VHS- Mm … pornographic movie. Yeah. Because the way you kind of had your leg placement over him- Uh-huh … and you had your arm behind him, and you had your hand- Uh-huh there. And I mean, I'm literally having sex with his wife- … looking up at you and watching him get harder in your hands, and you're just, like, making the sexiest fucking face at me.

27:33 And I was like, "Pff" Done. Done. Dead. Over. Sayonara, baby. That was it. That sent me over. Because that's- That sent me over and over and over that's something he doesn't ever see. No, it's rare. We were literally just talking about… Oh, I didn't realize that you had just brought that up in conversation to me. Yes, ma'am, I did. I did not even think about that. Oh, that just came naturally. Wow. Wow. Yeah, that came naturally. That just became even more of a turn-on. Yeah. Yeah. That's hot. I forgot we talked about it. Mm-hmm. We sure did. Um, yeah, so I did that. And, um, it was fun.

28:15 Then we, then we went, got some food, because mama bear hair was elevated. Oh, man, she… And you tore that shit up, huh? It got there, and I had the fries. I hadn't had the pizza yet. The fries were damn good. Yeah. And then I was like, "You need to taste these fries." Oh, man, I tore, I- And that was it … I helped her tear 'em up too. I found the ketchup after the fact. I didn't even realize there was ketchup. Oh, that was the, that was the sauce that was up there. Oh. Oh, funny. Anyway. Hmm. It was… Their, so their food is amazing. Yeah, it really did not disappoint. Yeah. Um, and so when it was finally… Y- y- what I, I wanted to try and make it to 2:00. Yes. Um, but honestly, by around 1:30, I wanna say we were both kinda like- Yeah, we went to the back one more time … well, you put me out.

29:04 Yeah. Yeah, again. Yeah, again. This time was inside me. Yeah. Oh, wait, on me. I f- I lost track. Yeah, me too. I don't know. I just know I was fucking done. Yeah. Like, after that, like, that was it. Mm-hmm. And, uh, it was like, "Okay, so let's go ahead and go to the hotel. We'll take our food, and we'll go to the hotel." Mm-hmm. " We'll find somebody to come over and, and fuck." Yes. And it's like, "Hell yeah, let's do that." Yeah. And we get to the hotel, and as soon as you walk in and the cold air hits and you hear that loud hum and you put the pizza off to the side and you take off your clothes and you get into the cold bed, and it's like, "Nah."

29:47 Nah. " Nah, it's good." It's all good. " It's good." Yeah. " Let's just, uh, watch some TV." Yeah. Uh, and that's what we did. We totally vegged out, man. Oh, it was beautiful. Guys, it was amazing. Like, I slept so good. Yeah. It was- She did … oh, it was so nice. She was out. I was out. Yeah. That was good. We ate our pizza, 'cause we had leftover pizza from the first place. Yep. And then leftover pizza from the club. Yep. And it was so good. You know I love pizza. And we had sweets because we went to Walmart beforehand. Oh my gosh, yeah. We know how to load up, don't we? Yeah. And then, um- Goodness gracious. Mm. Yeah, then that was it. We went to bed.

30:30 And in the morning we had sex We had a lot of sex in the morning Yeah I, I actually, uh, I woke you up once in the middle of the night, uh- Yeah and then we had sex, uh, or, well, in the middle, middle of the morning, and then, uh, we slept a little bit more, and then I woke you up Yeah Yeah. So it was- It was nice … it was, uh, it was some good time, good time there Yeah Uh, we ended up l- checking out of the hotel, and we met some friends for, for some breakfast Yeah At a really nice Mexican restaurant. I loved it, man. The food was delicious It was good It was… It sh- is exactly what I needed- Yeah … to kind of rejuvenate me- Yeah … uh, besides my Dutch Bros. Yeah Uh, and that followed up with what?

31:13 We saw The Odyssey. That was a great one We saw The Odyssey. That was a good, um, that was a good movie. Yeah. You know, the book was my favorite, uh- Yeah growing up and, you know, I always had a copy. I think I turned my kids onto the, to the book. Yeah And, uh, yeah, the movie did not disappoint. It was good. It really was It was good. I thought I was getting it in, in IMAX, but I didn't. I got it in some kind of surround sound or something. It's a 70 millimeter. Yeah. Yeah 70 millimeter. It, it was still good. Hey, it was great. Yeah. I thought it was great. I- It was so- It was wonderful different.

31:54 It kind of reminded me, who, to, who made that movie? That was a Christopher Nolan film. What else did he, does he do? So he did the, uh, the Batman trilogies. Okay Uh, you know, Batman Begins- Kinda had that look … the Joker, you know, all that stuff. Right? Yeah, all of his movies seem to have that look- Yeah 'cause he also did, uh, Interstellar. Oh. You know? Yeah. So it's all that same kinda look. Yeah. It's the same kinda colors, the same- Yeah … views, the same kinda shots. Yeah. It was a real- Everything's a little bit darker. Yeah. Yeah. It was a really good movie. Um, but yeah, we're gonna go see Spider-Man. God, I forgot to buy the tickets again. We're gonna go see Spider-Man on Saturday, so I'm gonna try to get some different tickets for that, either IMAX or, I don't know, something fun.

32:40 Yeah, yeah, you know, and, uh, to kinda cap off my birthday, I essentially get to enjoy this entire week, uh, as my last week- Yes … being home. Yes. Because I begin my new job on, uh, Monday, uh, which is really, really cool. I'm not gonna say what it is here because- Is it Monday? Yeah. Wow. It's on Monday. Nice. Uh, so I start officially my, uh, I, I, I Go into retirement from unemployment and, uh, go back into the workforce, so I'm excited about that. Uh- I'm excited. Yeah, I get to co-mingle back with, uh, actual adults instead of being home all day.

33:25 You guys gotta understand, yeah, I make content, and yeah, we do this show, but, uh, I talk to myself a lot throughout the day because the walls don't talk back and neither does my cat, my pod cat. Uh, so yeah, you know, it's gonna be nice to get back into a social setting, uh, get back to, uh, feeling worth again- Mm-hmm because, uh, you know, nothing's harder than not having a job. You kinda feel worthless. Uh, so it's gonna be nice to get back into it. I'm excited. I'm excited for you. Yeah. Uh, the hard part is gonna be keeping up with the shows and keeping up with content.

34:05 So I'm just gonna throw this out here, guys. I'm gonna say this very, very clearly to you. I'm going back to work. If you want me to s- I don't know, come back home and put great, great work into the show and great, great work into The Bald Truth and all the- Oh, no … TikTok content- I know you're not gonna say it … I need you guys to really just, I don't know, hit up those affiliates that we have. Hit up the, you know, all the links that we send you out there, and you know, even on our website there's a buy me… buy m- buy my coffee. Uh, you know, there's an area where you can, you can, you can buy our Patreon.

34:46 How cool is that? How cool is that? Mm-hmm. I mean, that's really cool because our Patreon is the only place where our lives, our live streaming that we do on Thursdays- Yeah … is actually on Patreon. Oh. That's the only other place that you can watch it. Okay. Yeah. If you don't log in that day. If you don't log in that day. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So, uh, I'm just saying, uh, you know- Yeah … if there's several of y'all- I would love to stay home … who do that. Yeah. I can stay home. That's right. She can stay home. And, uh- And he can- … if several more of y'all do that, we can both stay home. There you go. And this can be a full-time job. But 'til then, I'm gonna be working and I'm gonna be doing my best to keep, uh, the balance up on everything.

35:27 Um- You got this. Yeah, I think so. You got this. I think so. Yeah. I feel pretty good about it. Yeah. Yeah. I love you. I love you too. That, that's a true love story right there. So all in all, my birthday was frigging awesome, and I wanna say thank you to my lovely wife here for putting it all together. Thank you to all of our friends, you know who you are, who are always around. Uh, and we love spending time with you guys. Yeah. And, uh, everybody who came out, everybody who showed out. Uh, as you can see, if, if you have FOMO, if you're listening to this right now and you have FOMO, fear of missing out, you're really, really upset you weren't there, guess what?

36:09 There's always opportunities to see us. We always list them. Uh, so yeah, just keep track of us. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, everybody, and thank you again to everybody that showed up, and thank you to the club for always being freaking awesome. Yeah. You guys rock. And hey, if you've got your own confession, your question, or story, anonymous or not, head to beyond-monogamy.com and leave it for us. Uh, you might just hear us talk about it on a future episode. Most likely you will. You will. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, while you're on that site, poke around, though. You'll find every past episode, clips from the show, our merch store, which my lovely wife has created a lot of stuff there, our blog, which I write, and of course, that confessional that we just mentioned.

36:58 Uh, don't forget, every Thursday evening at 7:00 PM Central, we go live right there on our website, totally free to watch, no strings attached, and you can actually interact with us live. Hey, technology's incredible. It is. Yeah. I love it Did you just realize that at 44? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the best technology I had was, like, the VHS machine. Yeah, yeah. Wow. You know, I couldn't… The DVD Bluetooth thing, I mean, blue- Blu-ray. Blu-ray. Uh, it's… What's the difference? What's the differ- Oh, they're… It's in 4K. Okay. I don't know what that means. I'm sorry I started a rant. It's HDMI.

37:39 Okay. Wait. What? And if you want more of us outside of Thursdays, we are also part of the lineup over at fullswapradio.com. You'll catch us there Thursdays at 2:00 and 7:00 PM Central, alongside a whole cavalcade- There you go … of other adult podcasters worth checking out. And speaking of Thursdays and live events, we're gonna be doing a live show in February from Krazy Winter Nights, hosted by Krazy Kasbh and Full Swap Radio. If you're thinking about coming out, use our code Beyomono, that's B-E-Y-O-M-O-N-O, at krazykasbh.com for a discount. We'd love to meet you there. And by the way, be sure and check out our show notes for that website because, uh, it's spelled a little bit differently.

38:26 Yes. Just saying. That is true. And before we go, if you enjoyed this episode, do us a favor, like it, subscribe if you haven't, share it with a friend who needs to hear it, and if you've got a minute, leave us a review. Totally. It genuinely helps this little show reach lots of people. I like that. You like that? That was dramatic. I know. Yeah. That was a lot of drama. Yeah. I, I know you guys like that. And you know what? With that, we thank you all for joining us for another episode, and we will see you guys next week. Bye.