Retire the DJ: Hand Play Tips, Lube & Hygiene for Swingers (Quickie)
Key Takeaways
- Retire the DJ and ditch the jackhammer myth because faster and harder hand play is definitely not better in the bedroom.
- Nerve endings live on the outside, so it is crucial to read your partner's actual body language instead of following a porn script.
- Proper hygiene is non-negotiable for hand play, requiring a 20-second hand wash, clean fingernails, and avoiding cross-contamination.
- Lube is everyone's best friend during intimacy, making manual stimulation smoother, safer, and much more enjoyable.
- Always communicate openly with your partner to guide their touch and ensure a mutually pleasurable experience.
Wicka wicka wicka... stop it. On this Beyond Monogamy quickie, Adam and Pris give your hands the attention they deserve. Fingers, palms, and knuckles may be the most underrated tools in the bedroom, and the most misused, because a whole lot of people learned their moves from porn. The swinger podcast for ethical non-monogamy covers what's going wrong, how to do it right, and the hygiene nobody wants to talk about but everybody needs to hear.
In this quickie:
- Retiring "the DJ" and the jackhammer myth: faster and harder isn't better
- Why so many women never say "I don't like that," and why you should
- Nerve endings live on the outside: read the body, not the porn script
- Pris on pH balance, sensitivity, and why unwashed hands ruin the mood
- Ladies, the shaft is not a stress ball: Adam's case for a gentle touch
- Lube is your friend, for everybody
- Anal play, fisting, and the curiosity that comes with both
- Hygiene 101: wash for 20 seconds, clean under your nails, no back-to-front cross contamination, and gloves are sexy
- Long nails, cuts, hangnails... and the bacon-wrapped jalapeño honeymoon horror story
The takeaway: speak up, guide your partner, and wash your hands, you dirty bastards.
CONNECT WITH US
- Website: beyond-monogamy.com for episodes, blogs, merch, and our FREE livestream every Thursday at 7PM Central
- Anonymous Confessional: Got a story, question, or complaint about somebody's hands? Drop it 100% anonymously at beyond-monogamy.com
- FullSwapRadio: Hear us every Thursday at fullswapradio.com
COME SEE US
- Swinger 101 LIVE at Forbidden Fruit, Austin, Sunday, November 15: $20, light refreshments, and we'll answer your questions in person!
- Krazy Winter Nights, Kansas City, February 19-21: Start planning your winter! Use code BEYOMONO at KrazyKasbah.com
OUR PARTNERS
- 3Fun: The app for couples and singles who want to connect with like-minded people. Easy, low pressure, and it actually works. Download 3Fun here
- Spunk Lube: Simple and long lasting. Get 10% off with our link
Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris: real talk on the swinger lifestyle, open relationships, and ethical non-monogamy. Subscribe, rate, and share with someone who needs to retire the DJ.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does retiring the DJ mean in hand play tips for swingers?
Retiring the DJ refers to stopping the overly aggressive, rapid up-and-down motion—like scratching a record—that many people mistakenly copy from porn.
Why is hand hygiene so important for swingers and non-monogamous couples?
Unwashed hands can easily ruin the mood, introduce unwanted bacteria, cause infections, or mess with sensitive pH balances.
How can I improve my technique using hand play tips for swingers?
Focus on a gentle touch rather than treating the body like a stress ball, use plenty of lube, and pay attention to your partner's real-time feedback.
0:00 Hold on, hold on. We need to tell you guys about Three Fun first. yeah. Okay, so Three Fun is the app. You guys know the app. And if you don't know, it's for couples and singles who want to connect with like minded people. And it actually works. Like we're not just saying that. It's easy. It's low pressure and it's way less awkward than trying to figure it out on your own. Way less. We're gonna leave it at that. Yep. Download three fun. The link is in the show notes. Okay. Where were we? Yeah.
