Inside Naughty N'Awlins: The World's Largest Lifestyle Event with Founder Bob Hannaford

0:07 All right, y'all. Before we dive in, a quick heads-up This show is raw, real, and definitely not rated PG We're talking about adult themes, sexual content, and the kinda stuff you probably don't want blasting through your speakers at work or around your kids So grab some headphones, pour your drink of choice, and get comfy Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not licensed therapists, counselors, or sex couches. Sex coaches. Sex coaches. Not sex couches We're just a couple of people sharing our lives, experiences, and sexy adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

0:47 So with that, pull up a chair and enjoy the show Hello, and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. Now, before we bring in today's guest, we need to talk about Naughty N'Awlins right quick. Naughty N'Awlins 2026, July 8th through the 12th in New Orleans. It is already sold out, people. Is it really? It is. It's already sold out. Wow. If you are not registered, get on that wait list right now at naughtyevents.com. And if you've missed it this year, start planning for 2027. Mm-hmm. Because today's conversation, it's gonna make you very, very motivated to get your spot early. Is it? Yeah. All right. Absolutely. Now, our guest today didn't just attend the lifestyle, he literally built a piece of it.

1:29 He's been running some of the most iconic events in the swinger and kink communities for over two decades. Wow. Yeah, and Naughty N'Awlins is his crown jewel. We're joined by the founder and CEO of Naughty Events, the man behind the blue hair and the biggest- lifestyle convention on the planet, Bob Hannaford. Bob, welcome to Beyond Monogamy. Hi. Hi, guys. Thanks for having me. Love the hair, by the way. Yeah. It's, it's a little different, huh? Yeah. I used to, you know, I used to have really, really bright red hair- Mm-hmm … um, for about five years, and then I said, "Nope, I'm done dyeing it." I started growing gray, and now it's like I will never dye my hair again.

2:11 I do miss it. It is fun, but the upkeep- I used to dye mine white on the sides, but- Yeah … I don't have to do that anymore. No? I used to have hair. Well, look at, yeah. Look at his hair. So- Adam's almost completely gray. Yeah, when we, uh, you know, when I first started growing the beard, it w- it had spots of, of black. Of black, and now it's just getting- Like real clear black … yeah. Forget it. I'm just, I'm just getting all white there. But I do love the hair. It's very fun. We, news has traveled about you being a fun, fun person. Uh, when we first started digging into, Naughty N'Awlins- Mm-hmm … we first learned about it from, Dan and Lacey, Mm … with the Swing Nation. And she's the one who put us in contact with you and Kendra. Yeah. And, uh, and we were able to go from there.

2:54 But we're just skimming the surface, my friend. Mm-hmm. I really gotta know, how did Naughty N'Awlins start? And I know that that's probably a loaded question, but what was the original vision back in the late '90s, early 2000s? Well, the short story is we were throwing parties in our house in New Orleans, and they quickly outgrew our house. We had a party with 175 people at our house, and Tess is like, "Bob, we can't do this anymore." I mean, the, the cars were parked up and down the streets, and, started to affect the neighbors. And, so we did what responsible people did, and we moved it into a, into a restaurant actually at first- … and then into a hotel. But, you know, Naughty started, it started by just inviting people over to our house, and it, it just grew.

3:41 And back then, this'll date me, I did most of my marketing on America Online and Yahoo. Oh, yeah. Yahoo Groups. Wow. I was, I was a, I was an American Online- Yeah, you were … chat- AOL … chatroom person. Yeah, he was. Yeah. I was a fan. I was a fan. I remember downloading fi- pictures, and it was just pixel by pixel. You'd see, like, a quarter of it, and then it would go- Yeah … a little bit further, and there'd be half of it. Yeah, I remember those days. A lot's changed since then. Yeah. Yeah. So I was gonna say, This is the biggest, if I'm not mistaken, one of the biggest, takeovers in the world or in the United States? Well, Myrina from Accidental Swingers had said that it's, it's probably one of the biggest ones in the world.

4:23 Is that right? Yeah, I mean, there's not very big events like ours- Yeah … outside the US, I don't think. But we're, we're certainly the largest in the US and, certainly probably the world. Uh, I think there's been a few cruise ships that have, you know, more people on them. Mm-hmm. Uh, we're just limited by the size of our hotels. We, we could have sold probably another 800,000 people, but- Yeah … we cut off the, registration two months ago. Yeah. Wow. Uh, I know that people have reached out to our show- Uh-huh … and been like, "I'm trying to sign up, and it's sold out." Yeah. And I was like, "Oh, bummer, dude. You're gonna have to see us next- Sorry … year. Sorry about that." Sorry. We, we may have some day passes at the last minute.

5:03 It depends on cancellations. Mm-hmm. Some years we get more cancellations than others. And usually they happen about- Right before … a week before the event because that's when they have to cancel in order to make sure they- Get a refund on their rooms Yeah. So this event was in your house, right? Mm-hmm. It was 175 people, and then it- Right … grew. So, and you went to a restaurant and then to a hotel. Has it always been in your mind to… I mean, were they always just play parties, or did you have, like, areas of education here and there? Yeah. What was the original mission statement? So at our house, it was more people getting together and socializing than it was a play party, right?

5:47 Mm-hmm. Um, we had a daytime social activity time where we'd… We lived on a lake, so it was a lot of boating- Oh, okay … and jet skis and, and swimming, and just having fun. And then usually after dark, people would change into lingerie and different things and, and then it'd become a play party. So it's been important for us to not just focus around the play part, but also about people getting to know each other and having friendships. And I think that's kind of how it started with us, was more the friendship part, and the play part was just, kind of… We use the word lagniappe in New Orleans, which means a little something extra.

6:27 , But when we start- I like that. When we started doing the, the full-blown conventions, we, we quickly realized that having an educational, Uh-huh … part of our events was really important. It's kind of our way of giving back, I think, to the community. Yeah. I like that because there's a lot of places and a lot of, there's a lot of events and takeovers that should focus more on a little bit of, I think a little bit of education here and there because- Sure people love, people in the lifestyle love to get educated. Like, they love to hear others, other people's perspectives. Not that they're gonna accept it- … but they do love to hear it, you know?

7:08 Well, but I think it's important if you come to an event like this, look, there's parties, there's pool parties, Bourbon Street parties, nighttime parties, daytime playtime, nighttime playtime. But if you can go home learning something so that you're a better partner- Uh-huh … or even a better person, to me, that makes the event all worthwhile. Oh, agreed. Absolutely. That is all. Yeah. Now, your, your event started as a house party. At what point did you start bringing in education? Oh, well, this is our 28th year. Wow. And, uh, we had classes the very first year, but, back then we probably had maybe two a day, so maybe six classes.

7:52 The most we've had is over 130. Wow. And, and this year I'm not sure how many we have. It's well over 100. Yeah. And, uh, and something interesting, , this show's being taped, on 6/9, June the 9th. Uh-huh. 69. Uh-huh. That's National it's National Sex Education Appreciation Day. So it's- Is it? … kind of an interesting… It is. It's, I, I wanna put that out there and give some props to all the teachers that are going out and traveling to these events and talking about subjects that, is hard to talk about, and educating people. Uh-huh. And, my hat's off to our whole crew of teachers that come and teach at Naughty. I have a list. Oh, yeah. You know, we, we've been seeing the- Yeah.

8:33 We, we're looking at the, we've been looking at the list … yeah, we're, like, addicted to this Yapp app- … uh, that, that you guys have for everybody and, and, just seeing everybody post, on the social part of it and kind of getting an idea of who's gonna be there, and some of the teachers are posting in there what they're gonna be doing and- Yeah um, I feel like that alone is definitely an awesome thing that you guys do. And I'll tell you why. I am, I'm, I'm an anxious bird. Like, I, I have anxiety. I don't do, uh… I, I don't really care for, uh- Crowds … crowds. Mm-hmm. Which y- you know, I'm in the wrong line of business, obviously- … 'cause we go to a lot of, things where there are crowds. Um, but I can, I can do fine in them.

9:16 But for somebody who suffers from anxiety- Mm-hmm … what would you, what would you tell somebody who's interested in coming and, how would you console them, make them feel a little bit- … better on that? Well, I, I will give you a couple tips. Uh, number one is there's lots of small events that we do. Okay. You know? So, so concentrate on a lot of the smaller events, some of the meet and greets and, and some of the smaller classes and events so that you're not overwhelmed. When you do go to some of the larger events, like the Bourbon Street parties, there's always somewhere inside that isn't so crowded. Like I'll take the beach, for example.

9:56 If you go into the courtyard where the foam party is at the beach, I mean, it's nuts to butts. You're gonna be in some pretty tight quarters. But if you stay at the entrance, there's a, there's a bar that you enter when you first come in. It's usually not very crowded there. You can always find places. A lot of our places have Bourbon Street balconies, and you can get out there, and there's only so many people that go on the balcony. So look for places even in our big ballrooms, okay? We have, I think we have f- 50 or 60 tables in our main ballroom. Grab one of the tables that's kinda off to the side and that way you're kinda sitting back and everyone's in front of you and they're not surrounding you.

10:40 So I'd say that's a few tips I would get. Those are good tips. The other thing is- Yeah … go to your room and take breaks. Oh, yeah. And, you know, take a nap. Uh, sleep is a very difficult thing to find at Naughty 'cause people get, um, they get FOMO. They hear about there's a party there, there's a party here. And sometimes you just need to go to your room and take a break to, number one, reconnect with your partner, and sometimes you just need to take a nap. Yeah. So- Oh, yeah … those would be a couple tips, I would say. That's, that's true. We've gone to a takeover before and have done a live show. Yeah. Mm. And then went to the room and- And pretty much stayed in the room the whole weekend … stayed there.

11:24 Like, we've been to takeovers and we're just like, "Nope, we're just gonna stay in our room right now." You know, it's, it's, it's one of those things, like you said, it, you, you kinda have to sit back and go, "Okay, even though I have FOMO, I know I need to sleep." Yeah. You know? "I know I need to- But you know- … I need to get that break." You know what really caught my attention about Naughty is that you guys offer daytime stuff. Um- Mm-hmm … I am all about daytime play, I'm all about daytime whatever, because we're early birds. Yeah. So by 10:00, I wanna be in bed already. I wanna be in my PJs. I know that's not gonna happen this time- … because I'm trying to soak up every moment of- Wear your PJs downstairs. Come see us in your PJs. There you go. There you go. That's perfect. That's a good plan right there. Um, that's my thing, like I just, I'm glad that y'all are, offering things during the day because, you know, I want something to do.

12:11 You know, I'm really curious, and I find this probably incredibly fascinating, but I know New Orleans is very, open-minded. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And, and we love that about New Orleans, but, uh, I hear a lot of horror stories about swingers trying to start up takeovers and trying to start up clubs and different events and things like that- Mm-hmm in doesn't matter what city, and they run into a lot of negativity. They run into a lot of walls from the community and that sort of thing. Sure. Did you, did you run into stuff like this when you were, when you were exploding at the rate that you were exploding? We never had a, we've never had a single issue in New Orleans.

12:51 Um, we've done events like, we've done hotel takeovers in Key West, Las Vegas. Miami, Los Angeles, Chicago, and we've done- we've chartered many cruise ships. The biggest trouble we've had is in Las Vegas. And, so what I tell people that are starting out and doing stuff like this is go, go to your local city, go to your local police department, talk to them, tell them what you're trying to do. Uh, to try to do something underground and sneaky and hidden, it's gonna come out at some point. Mm-hmm. And why put all the effort into it to find out that a city is hellbent on keeping you from doing what you're doing?

13:35 A lot of times they just don't understand what you wanna do, and if you can explain it to them and show them i- it's gonna help the economy, you're gonna bring people to that town. A, a city like New Orleans has no issues, and- Mm-hmm … they welcome us with welcome arms. Mm-hmm. We work well with the police department, and with the convention visitors bureau, all kinds of things. But there are certainly cities that are not as open-minded as New Orleans, and I would say find a city that you're welcome in before you spend all the time and effort to put something up, especially a club that's full-time- Yeah, yeah or even an event. Like, there- there's plenty of places you can do amazing events in this country where people want you.

14:17 So find out that first. That is so true. That's a great point. I have a fun little fact about New Orleans. Oh? I have two fun little facts. One, they are the first ones to actually document a gay neighborhood. Really? Like, there was these beautiful Victorian homes that nobody wanted to live in. Mm-hmm. And one gay couple came. They bought the house. They renovated it. They had all their friends, drag queens, so you would see drag queens go up and down this, this beautiful French neighborhood in New Orleans. Yeah. That's an interesting fact. And they are actually known to be the first ones to have drag queen shows.

14:58 Wow, look at you- Yeah. … with your facts. I just saw a true crime about it. There you go. That's … We're on the right podcast. Oh, I know there's lots of great drag shows, burlesque shows. Yeah. Yeah, and burlesque. Um- Mm-hmm … yeah, New Orleans is a very, I, I think, gay-friendly city- Yeah … compared to a lot. Uh, it's also the first neighborhood of free people of color, and I, I think that's in the Treme, which is close- Wow … right next to the French Quarter. Treme, yeah. So there, there's a lot of, there's a lot of not so great history in New Orleans. Of course. There's a lot of great history in New Orleans. Yeah. And, but, I mean, the food, the architecture, the history, the music, just the overall energy and vibe in New Orleans is why we're there.

15:41 Oh yeah, we actually are doing the full four-day, and then we added a couple of days so that we could spend- 'Cause we're crazy some personal time out there. Nice. We've never actually been to New Orleans. Yeah, we've never been. We've driven through. We've, passed by. Never- It's about as good as it gets … never have been. And, and you know, I wanted to go when I was younger because- Mm-hmm … of, the… Not Naughty. What is it? Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras. Sorry, my mind went… So there's one, I was living here in Austin, and there's a Mardi Gras on 6th Street, and I got- Sure … so excited. I went. It was the first time I showed my boobs off. Oh. I was like, "Oh my gosh." Scandalous. Very scandalous. Yeah. And so I got excited about that. Well, I never ever, ever went, and so now I'm so excited to get those beads, 'cause I heard that it's like- it's like Mardi Gras.

16:29 I'm like, "I'm so down." It's an off-season Mardi Gras, for sure. Yeah. And, uh, not as many beads as you'll find- That's okay … in Mardi Gras. But you'll find plenty, I, I have no doubt. I'm sure. Well, you know, What I'm really fascinated by is, is how you- basically transform- The hotels such large hotels. Like, what does it take logistically to transform a hotel into Naughty N'Awlins, uh, the way it is? Like, y'all have to be starting already for next year. You guys have playrooms, the dungeon, the themed parties. Like, I just, just setting up a gang bang for her is logistically- Yeah … uh, you know, it blows my mind. So I can't even imagine the stress that's involved with this. I can help you with that.

17:09 Okay, thank you. Awesome. Logistically, it is, it, it's, it's more than most people understand, you know. Our staff is… I think last year we had, uh, about 130 staff members and, and of that is a lot of paid people. We have a lot of people that we pay, from audiovisual companies that we hire- Mm-hmm To, we have supervisors that kind of manage certain things for us. Mm-hmm. And then we have lots of volunteers, and the volunteers come, from all over the country. Some of them are host couples at other clubs. So they, they're used to working in this capacity and helping out and they just, they like being behind the scenes and like being part of the show, and we, thank God they do because we need- we need them.

17:54 We start loading in on Monday, and it takes us three days to set everything up. Wow. And, and then we start tearing down at 4:00 a.m. Saturday night, and, we have everything out by, by noon. Wow. And, it's quite… Uh, setting up is harder than taking down. Mm-hmm. But, um, but we have an amazing team , and we have, I think a total of seven large trucks that, we just take turns filling, and they run off to the warehouse, and then we fill the next, and it runs off, and we just repeat- Wow rinse and repeat. Yeah. But it's, it takes, you know, the whole thing, it takes a village. , It takes a large crew.

18:35 We spell crew in New Orleans K-R-E-W-E. Mm-hmm. Like a Mardi Gras krewe. And we look at our team of people as it's our krewe. It's like a family more than it is just dealing with volunteers. Everything from the, sex educators we just talked about- Mm-hmm … uh, to the volunteers to our paid staff, it's, it really is part of a big family, a big naughty family, so to speak. Big naughty family. That's, that's cool, man. Now, you know, I, I'm curious, do you, do you attempt to raise the bar each year? Like, do you go, "Okay, how are we gonna top this year?" Um- I mean, 'cause the themes alone Yeah. Uh, you know, it's, it's been an evolution.

19:16 When you look at what we do today compared to what we did 28 years ago, it's vastly different, you know? Back then we didn't have a dungeon, and now I think we have the most incredible dungeon you'll ever see at any event. We call it the Cathedral of Kink. It's huge, it's beautiful, um- Wow … and it's, it's just well-staffed and has just incredible furniture and, just visually stunning. So that's, that's an evolution that we've had over the years and it's only been a couple years since we've had it in its current state, and you'll see. I mean, you need to go around and look at everything. Last year we did a kind of an after-hours party for the first time, kind of like a little hidden rave, like a speakeasy, and oh my God, it was packed.

20:00 And what we found out is there's a lot of people at 2:00 in the morning- … unlike you guys- … still looking for something to do. So I thought, "All right. Let's open the place up till 4:00 in the morning." I mean, I was there every night till 4:00 in the morning. I mean, that sounds like fun, you know? It was packed. And so we added that last year. We, uh, we changed up the dungeon last year. This year we're doing something different where we're changing all the names to the venues. Like it used to be the Grand Ballroom and the Astor Ballroom. This year, New Orleans is broken up into districts, so you got the 6th District, the 8th District. The different areas, neighborhoods so to speak- Uh-huh … of New Orleans.

20:42 Uh-huh. So we're doing the Voodoo Club is gonna be our district. It's kind of our EDM room. And our after-hours place is gonna be called Afterglow. After you have sex, what's after that? The afterglow. Yeah. So go down and, not quite ready to go to bed, go down, listen to some great music and kinda unwind and get ready for bed. So we have the Masquerade Salon as our main ballroom, and it just, everything has a New Orleans feel to it and- Yeah we're always evolving and adding things. And, this year we're bringing a little French Quarter Fest into it where when you go to French Quarter Fest, a music festival in New Orleans, uh- Uh-huh … absolutely phenomenal, every stage has a sign with handwritten, names of the artist that's up on the stage.

21:25 So we're handwriting signs for every DJ, every band, every piano player, artist, kinda like you'd see at a New Orleans festival. So we're, we're trying to really integrate the fabric of New Orleans- In the… Okay … and into the event itself so you really get a sense of New Orleans even if you don't know it or understand it. Um, a- another thing we do I think that's different is we take you outside the hotel. Most hotel takeovers, you never leave the hotel. Yeah, you don't. Yeah. You eat, sleep- Yeah … do everything there. Um, it could be in Peoria, Illinois or Topeka, Kansas. It doesn't matter.

22:06 Ours matters because you're actually out walking around the French Quarter, and we do a lot of things that I think is really ingrains New Orleans into the event and integrates the event into New Orleans. So I, I think those are the difference that's kinda kept us around. That, that brings me actually into, my next thing because I've, I am so fascinated about the sexual freedom parade, uh- Mm … that you guys have. One, I mean, I wouldn't even think to, to set up a parade of swingers to walk the, walk the streets. I've seen some clips of it. I thought it was incredible. I can't wait to be a part of it. But Tell us about that.

22:47 Where did that idea even come from? What does it mean to the community? Well, I used to be on the board of the, the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, and it was, I think, a brainstorm session I had with some of the people involved way back then to actually have a parade. And you know, I've been to a lot of Pride parades, and I've actually been in Pride parades, and I thought, wow, I wish there was a parade that doesn't just celebrate, your sexual orientation but sexual freedom. And it-- to me it's two different things, right? And, it just came to me one day that, boy, it sure would be cool to have a Mardi Gras-type parade that is celebrating sexual freedom.

23:35 And I reached out to the city of New Orleans and said, "What would it take to do this parade?" And they told me, "Oh, you just gotta fill out a parade permit and pay us $125." And I thought- Okay … wow, that's a great deal. Well, I, I think the logistics for this year's parade is, is, it's over $17,000 for- Wow … cause we have to hire police and clean up and, uh- Right we bring floats and i- it's just, it's grown to be a lot more than $125 than- Yeah. … in the beginning. And, we're actually printing a new, banner this year. But, people tell me every year, 'cause I think this is our 14th or 15th parade, they sleep on the parade.

24:18 They think, "Oh yeah, the parade, that'll be fun." And people have very emotional moments in this parade, like walking down the street in broad daylight and people are cheering- I'm looking forward to that … and- Yeah … thumbs up. And I've had people start crying, and, and people just get really emotional and said, "Wow, I, I, I didn't expect this." And it's very emotional for me because- Look, I've lost two careers thanks to, this lifestyle, right? One of them a military career. And it means a lot to me to be able to march down a street and be who I am and, and not be ashamed and not worry about what's gonna happen to me.

25:06 And, and it's funny, a lot of people are like, "Oh, I can't march in a swinger parade." I s- it's not a swinger parade, it's a sexual freedom parade. Mm-hmm. And you're not saying you're a swinger, you're just saying you believe in sexual freedom. And if you don't feel comfortable, then just wave and hoot and holler at us and catch some beads. Mm-hmm. And, uh, and some of those same people, uh, ended up jumping in the parade and walking with us and saying it was the most empowering thing they've ever done. So, I, I'm- Love that … I'm very proud of, of that. I mean, I, I'm very proud of Naughty, but I think, I think this is even bigger and, uh, and I hope one day maybe there'll be a parade in another city. So we'll see.

25:46 That would, that would be really cool. You know- That would be great … feeling seen is very, very big. Especially- Mm-hmm … uh, you know, like you said, losing careers over being open. I mean- Yeah … let me tell you, Bob, right now, uh, I got laid off in August of last year, and now I'm- Mm-hmm … I'm finally looking for work and I'm getting turned down quite a bit, and I think part of it is because a, a simple Google search will bring up this podcast and, uh- Mm you know, our, our postings and things like that. And, you know- Right … we're here in, in Texas, where, uh, you know, a lot of the people who are judging you on this lifestyle are secretly doing it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Um, but- It's always that way … but that's the way it is.

26:28 I mean, and, and, you know, the stress of losing, uh, a job or a career or losing family- Mm-hmm sometimes, I hate to say it, is fully worth the freedom of being out and being yourself 100%. Mm-hmm. Um, and so the sexual freedom parade, I think I, I can see how people would get emotional. I think it's incredible. Yeah. And I think that's a really, really amazing thing that you're doing. Um- Mm-hmm … it's exciting. Well, I think also most people- At least believe they can't be out, right? Mm-hmm. And, and I think, I think we're way behind the curve when it comes to, you know, the LGBTQ+ community.

27:09 They… But if you look back 30 years ago, m- most people were in the closet, and it took brave people to come forward and get into marches and come forward, and it's visibility, right? People, I had an interesting post I put on Facebook recently, and it kind of went viral, unexpectedly, and it was about visibility, right? And people saying, "Well, why do we even need Pride Month?" And it's because without visibility, there's discrimination. Mm-hmm. And until you know someone that is gay, lesbian, whatever, trans, it's very easy to discriminate against them.

27:49 But when it's your son or your daughter or your uncle or your, a coworker that you like and you find out they're gay, you're a lot, lot less likely to discriminate against them, and I, I feel it's the same way for us. So for those of us who can get in this parade and march, it's a strong signal that it's okay, and even the people that decide not to march, I think it's a signal to them that maybe one day you'll be able to march, too- Mm-hmm and be proud of who you are and not ashamed. And I think it's that visibility that is needed nationally, so that there is less, you know- people making fun of and, and discriminating against and, um, and causing problems and possibly custody issues- Yeah.

28:40 Oh, yeah … work issues. Yeah. Uh- We've actually seen a lot of that my goal is to see those things go away, you know? One day. Or at least less of it. Yeah. And that's, and that's why we have the show is we wanna normalize the conversation. We wanna make sure that people know that swingers are not the dirty, trashy people that live in the dark. You know what I mean? Like, we are the people that are shopping at the grocery store next to you, and you don't even know it. Hey, so we wanna talk about something that actually is kind of important before we move any further Yeah, ProDX Health, and here's why we love them They do at-home testing. Like, you get a kit, you do it at home, you mail it back STIs, hormones, real stuff that you should really actually know about Yeah, and there's no waiting room.

29:28 There's no awkward conversations, none of that You just get your results, and if you need next steps, they help you with that, too Look, knowing what's going on with your body is just part of taking care of yourself and the people that you're with Very true. It really is, and ProDX Health makes it so easy. There's really no excuse not to That's right. Use code beyomono at prodxhealth.com. That's 15% off year-round, even more during special events Link is in the show notes. Okay, now back to it Back to it That's right. You know, w- consent first is a core value of your events, which I thought was pretty cool. And it really should be of every event. Yeah.

30:08 But when you have a 3,000 to 4,000 person event, how do you actually operationalize that? Yeah. Like, how do you enforce it? It, it, it takes strategy. I mean, you can't just say, "Oh, consent matters," and that's it, right? We started something last year that we'd never done before. We actually created a video, and we make people watch it and take a test before they're able to come. Like- Mm-hmm … nobody does that. But I felt like the message wasn't getting across to some people, and I, I felt like there were some old school people that were taking consent for granted. Mm. And those are the people I was more concerned about than, than the newer folks.

30:50 The newer folks soak up information like a sponge. It's, it's the older folks that comes from a different generation Look, I'm an older folk. I came from a different generation, and I used to teach classes about consent, and I used to tell people, this is 20 years ago, in a playroom to reach out and touch somebody's ankle somewhere non-sexual, I used to say. Mm-hmm. That's no longer acceptable. There, there is no- nothing on a person that's non-sexual, especially their skin, I think is their biggest sexual organ is their skin. So now the conversation's changed, and just like I talked about evolution, we're trying to evolve and make sure that we're listening to what is current with consent.

31:33 We have signs all over our place. You'll see 'em. We make people pass this test, and if they don't pass it, we call them up. "Hey, I saw you took the test and didn't pass it. What's going on? Let's talk." You know? And, and sometimes, you know, they misunderstood a question or, you know, sometimes they think, "Oh, well, I just thought that was okay," and we let them know, "No. At Naughty, that's not okay." We also- Yeah … have a team on board, and their whole job is to be there and available and ready in case somebody has an issue. They, talk to our attendees, completely confidentiality- Mm-hmm … and, , and give them somebody to talk to that's, you know, you're not coming to me and talking.

32:15 You're coming to an independent person, and they don't answer to me, but they're there to make sure. They, they have training. They've done training with NCSF. They've done training with other programs, to listen, and if there's a problem with somebody at the event, then they'll let us know, "Hey, these people got to go," and we'll take care of that. So we have independent people that are on our staff that deal with it. We have, uh, uh, monitors in every single playroom. We have a supervisor that runs each of those sections, the dungeon, the playroom at the NOPSY, the playroom at the Aster. It's a lot going on. I think I probably have 20 to 30 pages of consent rules, policies, procedures.

33:02 Um- That's awesome. That's awesome. It's, it's, it's very- It's very regulated and very black and white. And, and we put that forth to everyone. So right before the event, you'll be getting a couple emails, with links to our policies and procedures to look over. But we require that test because we don't want anybody just ignoring it. Yeah. We make sure at the very least you can pass these basic questions on consent before you're even allowed to come. Mm-hmm. That makes sense. I mean, you can't say that you didn't know. Yeah. You have to do it before you go. What are you talking about? That's right. I don't, I don't understand. Well, it could be… The only caveat to that is we're a couples first kind of event, and it's- Yeah … possible one person took it and the other person didn't even read it.

33:52 Mm. But, you know, how much can we do? We're, we're doing the best we can and really making it an important consideration. We talk about it a lot at the event. You'll see postings on the app app. It- you think there's… the app app is interesting now. Wait till it gets closer to the event. The amount of postings will become more and more and more. It, it… By the time the event's there, it's just crazy because that many people- I'm doom, I'm doom scrolling the app. Are you? Are you? I catch myself just, just scrolling through it. You won't be able, you won't be able to catch up, once- Oh … once you get there. So, you mentioned something. What was that? I can't remember now. I mentioned a lot of things. Geez.

34:32 Think on it. Okay. In the meantime, though, uh, y- you know, if there's, there's a lot of pe- I mean, 3 to 4,000 people, that's, that's a lot. A lot of people know about you guys. But for those of you who have never been, who have never shown up to, to one of your, events, especially Naughty Nollans, what's the biggest misconception that outsiders have about Naughty that, that you'd wanna just clear up and throw out there? Well, I hear about that early on. I, I think they think it's a sex convention, right? Right. Oh. And it's very little part of what Naughty's about. I, I think it's, it's so much more about social interactions, meeting people, and, finding other people like yourself is, is very important, right?

35:14 It's so great that you can find people that you can talk to about things sexual- Mm-hmm and not be judged, I, I think is a big part of it, and, it's just validation, right? There's a lot of entertainment. There's a lot of parties. There's a lot of education, and there's opportunities to go explore some fantasies and, and see what you're-- either do the things that you're into or maybe try some things you've never tried before. I, I think we try to, we try to create the safest space possible for you to be able to go do whatever fantasy you've ever thought of and have a positive experience.

35:57 But to me, the biggest misconception is this is a giant sex thing, and it's, it's really not. My mom's been to my event, my son, my sisters, um, uh- Tons of people that come to our event and go, "Wow, I had no idea this was, like, so welcoming, and I, I feel at home here." And to even people that are not swingers, not non-monogamous, not- Mm-hmm … polyamorous, they feel at home because it's, it's… We took our cue not from swing clubs. We took our cue from Mardi Gras, and Fantasy Fest was, was a first, I think, inspirations for us. And so we're putting on a festival, right?

36:39 And, and but there are some places that you can go on our play floors and have fun. But it's, it's not the main focus. And- Mm-hmm … you'll see. Uh-huh. I mean, for those that wanna come play in the playrooms, God love them. They have the Disney World, I don't know if I can say that, the Disney World of- You can say anything. … play areas, right? And, it's, uh, it's, it's incredible. I, our playrooms are not like anywhere else. Ooh. And I'm, I'm very- I'm excited. Well, yeah, and I- I'm very proud of those … I keep hear- so I keep hearing about one in particular, Bob, and I don't know if you can guess which one I keep hearing about. Okay. People keep telling me over and over again, this one specific area. I haven't heard anything.

37:20 Okay. It is the, the dark room. Is that- Oh, the dark room. Sure … the dark room. What, w- can you explain, Bob, what is the, the dark room? So somebody told me not to go in the dark room, and this was a friend. I love it. I don't even, I don't know if he's ever been to it. I personally love, I personally love the dark room. I'm- Okay … in fa- I'll tell you a short story about my mom. And, she came to our- I love where this is going. She came to our event one year, and God, God love her. My mom was like a little old lady. She was only in her early 60s, but she, she wore a little shawl around her, shoulders and looked like- Cute … she was much older than she is. And- Mm-hmm … I was sitting there talking one day, and somebody came up and asked about the dark room. Didn't know it was my mom standing there, and just said, "Bob, what is this dark room?" And so- I was kind of a little embarrassed to say it, but I'm at work, I gotta answer the question.

38:07 And I explained that I went to a party once, and they said… It was a hotel takeover, and they said, "We have a dark room." And I, so I said, "Oh, this is interesting. Let me go in the dark room." Well, it was more like the dimly lit room. Okay. And, Tess has a photography major and, and I used to go into actual dark rooms, right, to process film, and they have special curtains that are blackout curtains. I mean, they block out 100% of the light. And I said, "Let's get some of those and have a real dark room," and that's what we did. And, I was talking to this person and saying, you know, "The reason a dark room is so great to people is when you take away one of your senses, one of your five senses, your other senses perk up.

38:52 Your sense of hearing perks up. Your sense of- Mm … touch- Mm-hmm … perks up. Your sense of smell perks up. Everything perks up and, and so it's just, it's more intense, and that's why we have this dark room." And a friend of mine was standing next to me, and he goes, "No, Bob, that's the bi male room." He says, "We go in there because there's still negative connotations for bi males, and nobody knows what we're doing in there." Hmm. Oh. And I turned, and I looked, and I said, "Really?" And, I said, "I, I never knew that." And it was that conversation that ended up me creating an actual bi room where people would feel comfortable going in there.

39:36 Oh, wow. Okay. And, and they walked away, and my mom turned and looked at me and goes, " I just thought the dark room was where people went because they couldn't get laid anywhere else." And I was like, "Mom." Valid. And I thought- Wow. I thought, "All these things are valid, right?" I mean, I never thought of any of these things going into the dark room, and I enjoyed the dark room for just the sheer- Anonymity Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And, and then I started hearing all these different stories of what the dark room meant to all these other people, and then I thought, "Okay, it's valid." There's lots of other reasons to go in there, but, it's, it's a very interesting room.

40:16 Okay. I'll say that. Well- You shouldn't be scared. I'll go in first. Yeah. Yeah, I'll watch from the door. Okay. Well, thanks- I had friends that used to stand outside and watch people go in, and if they saw the right people- They'd gr- they'd walk right in. they would just happen to follow in behind them, right? Smart. I like that. That's a good idea. Now y- y- with all of the things that are going on at, at this four-day takeover, what would you say your, your absolute favorite is, your, your crown jewel, so to speak? For me personally? Yeah. Oh, God, that's so hard. I mean, I, I… Emotionally I would say the sexual freedom parade. Even though I've done it so many times, it's… It, it just really is something to me.

40:59 I, I always start off on a float, and Tess and I start off on a float. Uh-huh. And then not too far into it, I jump off the float. And I, I, I run up ahead, and then I let the whole parade go by me, and I just, I just take it in. I just watch everyone's faces, and people know me, so they're high-fiving me and, you know, different things. Yeah. So that's, I think, one of the more emotional things. I love walking on the play rooms. I do it every night, and I, I put on my… I dress down to a robe or something- Uh-huh … and I s- and I, and I just walk the floor, and I just… Listening to everybody on that floor, wow.

41:39 I, I had the owner of Trapeze, which is one of the nicest, biggest clubs in the country, he has one in Fort Lauderdale, one in Atlanta. Mm-hmm. I remember one day, he, he was on the floor. I ran into him and he said, "Wow, Bob, I have never seen so many people having sex at one time in my life." And this is, this is somebody I look up to, the owner of Trapeze. I was like, "Wow, that's a-" That's, that's pretty good. I like that. I like that. But, you know, I, I also like, last year I got really caught up in the after party. Um, uh, you know, 3:30 in the morning, dancing my butt off, sweating.

42:20 Oh, sweating. We, we did it in a place that didn't have really good AC, and we moved it- Oh this year to a place that does. I was literally drenched in sweat, just dancing my butt off, almost forgetting where I was, and just being in the moment and just dancing with a bunch of friends and having a good time. One of my favorite DJs was playing, and I was just lost in the moment, having just the time of my life. And we left there at 4:00 in the morning to go back to my room, and I realized, "Oh my God, I need to take a shower." And it was really interesting because- I'm always on. I'm always aware of the lighting, the sound.

43:05 Is there trash somewhere? Does something need to be fixed? Is somebody talking on my radio? I'm always thinking about the event. Hosting, yeah. Always thinking about hosting. Mm-hmm. And I can't turn it off. Mm-hmm. But sometimes I'll be at my own event, and I'll just be Bob, and those are the moments I guess I like the best, is just- Yeah … the emotional feeling walking down Bourbon Street or being in the playroom. I usually try to sneak off and play a few times during the week. I was wondering about that because, you know- Yeah … if you, if you're out and you're, I mean, you're, you're the CEO of Naughty Events.

43:46 You're Bob. Like, you're, you're the guy. You're Bob, and- I usually try to go to one of the semi-private rooms where I can kinda, like, not be seen as much. Yeah. Because the worst thing is to be in a bed with somebody you love, having a great time, and then somebody saying, "Psst, hey, Bob. There's a problem over here you may wanna look at." Like, come on, man. But, but no- I'll be like- … being able to be myself … I'll be like, "Bob, can, can we record you a- after you're done?" "We, we out, out here." Setting up an appointment, yeah. That's right. Or, "Hey, I happen to DJ. Can I give you my card?" Oh my goodness. Y- yeah, but no. I, I guess having a moment to be myself is- Mm-hmm … is my favorite moment, so it doesn't matter where or when, but it, it always happens.

44:32 I, I… Man, I gotta tell you, I have a great time at Naughty. I… My goal has always been to have an event that I would wanna go to, and- That's awesome. Yeah … so, so far, I… it's, it's worked out pretty good. Are you, are you planning on opening any more? Are y- are we gonna see, I don't know, a, a Naughty Austin? Yeah, yeah. Like, what's the future of Naughty Events? Yeah. 'Cause we know that you put on other events as well. Well, like I said, we've done… I've done nine events in Key West, nine… 11 in Las Vegas. I, I've done them all over. I'm kind of… Me personally, I'm kind of happy just doing an event in New Orleans.

45:14 We, we added- Yeah … a Halloween event this year, and, I- Tess and I love Halloween. We used to own a castle, and we used to turn it into a haunted house. And- Ooh … I just love Halloween. And New Orleans is just an amazing place for Halloween. Okay. They do, they do parades. They do, like, a Mardi Gras parade, but it's a Halloween parade, and they do a lot of cool stuff. I've been to 13th Street and looked at some hotels, and I've been to Nashville and looked up and down Broadway. I've looked at lots of different venues. We did cruises for a while. I'm kinda happy where I am right now. I'm in a kind of a happy place.

45:54 That's good. And I see a lot of my, friends and people who do this who are working way harder than me, and I don't wanna work any harder. I, I, I work every week. I, I don't take a week off. Yeah. And I have a great team that w- a full-time team, and, we were working right up until this podcast, and when I'm done, I gotta create some, graphics for some signs and for the app, app. But I love what I do, and New Orleans really is what Naughty Events is all about. That's awesome. So I think, I think we're gonna stick to that for at least a little bit.

46:35 That's all right, 'cause- Well- … we'll be there … we are, we are excited to- Now, we know- … to go, for sure … I, I'm very excited. Yeah. Now, we know it's sold out, so what should people be planning for next year? Are they… Do y'all start selling as soon as this is over? Yeah, we start, I think, Wednesday. The, the night it opens also opens the registration for the following year. Perfect. Last year, we had 160-plus reservations before Sunday. We'll have probably more than that this year. We also do, probably the biggest discount of the year just during that week, and, that's one of the reasons a lot of the loyal people all sign up that week. Uh-huh. 'Cause they know they're coming the next year, and they want to get the biggest savings.

47:17 But yeah, I, every year we sell out a little bit earlier, and, we're negotiating with some bigger hotels at this point. Okay. So we'll see what happens in the future, but for now, we only have so many tickets we can sell. And- Yeah. That's a lot of people … we, we, we sold out pretty early this year. In February, we had no more, so we'll see how it goes next year. Well, this was an awesome conversation, Bob. This has been an absolute blast. Thank you so much for pulling back the curtain on everything that goes into Naughty N'Awlins. If our listeners aren't already sold, I genuinely don't know what to tell you guys. Seriously, it's incredible what you've built.

47:57 All right. Now, before we let you go, we just want everybody to know where you can find, the Naughty N'Awlins information. It's the wait list, and for everybody out there, you can find this information on our show notes. It's naughtyevents.com. We will have it posted all you gotta do is just click the little link. Now, Naughty N'Awlins 2026, July 8th through the 12th in New Orleans, already sold out, which honestly tells you everything that you need to know about the kind of event that Bob has built. Two host hotels, 3,000 plus of your new best friends. Mm-hmm. 30-plus private parties, foam. A foam. A foam party.

48:37 Foam party. Yeah. A massive 10,000 square foot dungeon, themed nights, and Bob's legendary blue hair, which is somewhere in the middle of it all. So if you missed it this year, get on that wait list and start planning for 2027. Go to naughtyevents.com. And Pris and I will be there, so if you do get in or if you get a day pass, come find us at the Beyond Monogamy booth. That's right. They said they might have some day passes, so keep your eyes out, guys. And yes, please come say hi to us. Yeah. And you know, if you guys are already going and you are fans of the show, please come by. We love talking to our listeners. You guys are very, very important to us. Mm-hmm.

49:17 If you wanna connect with us before then, everything we do lives at beyond-monogamy.com, new episodes every week, show notes, all of it, even a blog. Go check it out. We also wanna shout out to our friends at fullswapradio.com, live lifestyle talk every Thursday at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central. Find them at fullswapradio.com. And if you are near San Antonio, Beyond Monogamy will be live at Club Eden on June 20th. Come hang out with us in person. All the details are at beyond-monogamy.com. Oh, I like that dramatic. You like it? Yeah, that was good. And for those of you already looking ahead, Crazy Winter Nights in Kansas City, February 19th through the 21st, 2027.

50:03 Just go over to fullswapradio.com, look it up, and use our code BEOMONO at crazycasba.com for your tickets. And with that, we thank you all for joining us for another episode, and we will see you guys next week. Bye.