We Asked the Man Who Built the World's Largest Lifestyle Event to Explain Himself. He Did. Brilliantly.

Look, we've covered a lot of ground on this show. We've talked about jealousy, consent, threesomes gone sideways, and one truly unforgettable conversation with Nina Hartley that broke our download records. But this week? This week we sat down with a man who threw a house party for 175 people, watched it eat his neighborhood, and then thought, "You know what, let's take this to New Orleans and do it for three thousand."

That man is Bob Hannaford, founder and CEO of Naughty Events and the architect of Naughty N'Awlins — the most iconic, most talked-about, most sold-out lifestyle convention on planet Earth. And yes, we said planet Earth. We're not being dramatic. It's actually sold out. Right now. As of this recording. If you're reading this thinking you might register, please enjoy this blog post as your consolation prize and go get on the waitlist at naughtyevents.com.

From AOL Chatrooms to a 10,000 Square Foot Dungeon

Bob started Naughty N'Awlins 28 years ago by doing what any reasonable person does — inviting people over to the lake house. The parties got bigger. The cars started parking up and down the street. His partner Tess put her foot down. Responsibly, they moved it to a restaurant, then a hotel, and then — with the help of Yahoo Groups and the world's slowest image downloads (pixel by pixel, baby) — to what it is today.

This is their 28th year. They've had over 130 educational classes in a single event. They have a dungeon called the Cathedral of Kink that Bob describes as "huge, beautiful, and visually stunning," and we believe every word because this man did not build a 3,000-person empire by underselling things.

The Sexual Freedom Parade — Yes, It Will Make You Cry

Every year, Naughty N'Awlins takes to the streets of New Orleans for a Sexual Freedom Parade — a genuine, permitted, bead-throwing, float-riding, crowd-cheering celebration of the right to be exactly who you are. Bob has been doing it for 14 or 15 years. It costs over $17,000 to pull off now (up from the original $125 parade permit — inflation is something else). And every single year, people who said "I can't march in a swinger parade" end up marching, crying, and calling it the most empowering thing they've ever done.

Bob lost two careers to this lifestyle — including a military career. When he talks about walking down Bourbon Street in broad daylight and being cheered by strangers, you feel it. Adam felt it. Pris felt it. We're going to feel it in July, and frankly, we're not even pretending we won't cry a little.

Quick note: it is not a swinger parade. It's a Sexual Freedom Parade. You're not announcing anything. You're just saying you believe in freedom. If you can't march, just stand on the curb and throw some enthusiasm their way.

Consent at 3,000 People: You Have to Take a Test

Here's something Naughty N'Awlins does that nobody else does: they make you watch a consent video and pass a test before you're allowed to attend. Not a wink-and-a-nod "yeah, I read the rules." An actual test. And if you fail, Bob's team calls you. "Hey, I saw you didn't pass. Let's talk." That is the kind of energy the lifestyle needs more of, and we are absolutely here for it.

They also have independent consent advocates on staff — people who don't report to Bob, who are there purely to listen to attendees who've had an issue. Every playroom has monitors. Every section has a supervisor. There are 20 to 30 pages of consent policies and procedures. This is not a chaos free-for-all. This is a meticulously managed, consent-first adult festival.

The Dark Room: A Story About Bob's Mom

We have to tell you about this. We have to.

Bob was once explaining the Dark Room — a genuinely pitch-black space that heightens your other senses and creates an atmosphere of anonymity — to an attendee. He was mid-explanation, talking about how losing one sense amplifies the rest, when a friend interrupted to inform him that it had become the unofficial bi male room because of the lingering stigma around bi men in the lifestyle.

This revelation led Bob to create a dedicated, comfortable bi-inclusive space at the event. Growth. Evolution. Beautiful.

But the real ending of this story: Bob's mom was standing right next to him the whole time. And when everyone walked away, she turned to her son and said, "I just thought the dark room was where people went because they couldn't get laid anywhere else."

Bob's mom. Icon.

It's Not a Sex Convention (But Also There Is a Disney World of Playrooms)

The biggest misconception about Naughty N'Awlins, according to Bob, is that it's primarily a sex event. It's not. Bob's mom has been. His son has been. His sisters have been. People who aren't even in the lifestyle have attended and said they felt completely at home.

Think: pool parties, Bourbon Street crawls, foam parties, incredible live music, educational classes, themed nights named after New Orleans districts, handwritten French Quarter Fest-style signage for every DJ, the new Afterglow after-hours lounge, and a general energy that's closer to Mardi Gras than to anything you're imagining right now.

The play spaces exist and they are, by all accounts, extraordinary. But they are the lagniappe. (That's a New Orleans word for "a little something extra." Bob taught us that. We're using it forever now.)

Tips for the Anxious Attendee (Adam Speaks From the Heart)

Adam has anxiety. Adam does not love crowds. Adam is about to attend a 3,000-person event in New Orleans in July. This is a deeply relatable situation, and Bob had actual good advice:

• Start with small events and meet-and-greets
• Find a table at the edge of the big ballroom
• Bourbon Street balconies: quieter, better air, excellent people-watching
• Go to your room. Take a nap. Reconnect with your partner. FOMO is real but sleep is realer.

Pris's contribution: she wants daytime activities and plans to wear her PJs downstairs. Bob said that's perfectly acceptable. We love this event.

Don't Miss It in 2027 (Because 2026 Is Gone, Baby, Gone)

Naughty N'Awlins 2026 — July 8–12 — is completely sold out. There may be a limited number of day passes closer to the event. Check the waitlist at naughtyevents.com. Registration for 2027 opens the Wednesday night of the 2026 event, with the biggest discount of the year. Last year they had 160+ reservations before Sunday. Set your alarms.

Beyond Monogamy will be at the exhibitor booth — come find Adam and Pris in person!

Before You Go — Take Care of Your Body

Going to a lifestyle event means being responsible about your sexual health. Our sponsor ProDx Health makes that easy with at-home STI and hormone testing kits — no waiting rooms, no awkward conversations, just real results and support if you need next steps. Use code BEYOMONO for 15% off (and more during special events) at ProDxHealth.com.

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