How to Build a Swinger & ENM Profile That Actually Gets Results (Stop Scaring People Off)

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All right, y'all.

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Before we dive in, a quick heads-up

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This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated PG.

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We're talking about adult themes,
sexual content, and the kinda stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kids.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice, and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear,
we are not licensed therapists,

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counselors, or sex couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches.

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Not sex couches.

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We're just a couple of people sharing
our lives, experiences, and sexy

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adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And on today's quickie, we're talking
about how to make your swinger and

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ENM profile actually attractive to
other people, because, babe, we've

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seen some profiles out there- Oh, yeah

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that we have both been like,
"Are these real people?"

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Yeah.

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We've, we've definitely
seen some profiles.

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Some of these people are out there
wondering why nobody's messaging

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them, and I'm like, "Bro, your
cover photo is a ceiling fan."

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Or the opposite.

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It's way too much, too fast, and
we don't even know your name yet.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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You know, I would really like to know your
name before I've seen your vaginal cavity.

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Yes.

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Uh, but we're gonna fix all that today.

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But first, if you're getting anything
out of this show, do us a favor, like

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it, subscribe, share it with somebody
in the lifestyle who needs to hear this.

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Leave us a review on Spotify or Apple
Podcast, 'cause that helps us with

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the algorithm, helps people find us.

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Mm-hmm.

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And it means the world to us, frankly.

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Yes.

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And you know what?

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We might even send you some merch.

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My goodness.

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Mm-hmm.

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We have it.

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We do.

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Yeah.

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Go check out www.beyond-monogamy.com.

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All our episodes, our video clips, our
guest bios, our blog, our merch, events

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tab, and our 100% anonymous- confessional.

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Yes

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If you've got something on
your chest, it's all there.

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All righty, guys.

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Profiles.

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Profiles.

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Yes.

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Absolutely.

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Because we don't wanna
see ceiling fans, guys.

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No, no, no.

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Let's, let's, let's
jump into the deep end.

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Yes.

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Let's talk photos.

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Oh, let's talk photos.

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So, the no face pics or those
blurry mirror selfies, mm. They're

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not the greatest.

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Mm. Now, here's the problem with them.

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And so I, I understand the-
Privacy ... no face pics.

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I understand the, the, the
privacy, the discretion.

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You know, there's a lot of people
who wanna get on these apps or they

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wanna get on these websites, and
they don't wanna show their faces.

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Let me tell you something.

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When I'm going through the apps or
when I'm going through the, the, the

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websites, if I don't see your face-

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X

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I don't stop.

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Yeah.

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If I don't see your face on a friend
request, I won't stop unless I

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know for sure that we've met you.

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Yeah.

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Um-

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Yeah

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...
but...

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So a- and so that's really difficult.

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Now, if you're... Say we're
d- w- say we're discreet.

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Okay.

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Okay?

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Uh, we're just jumping in
as, as a newbie couple.

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Yeah.

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And we know that we cannot get caught
because if we get caught, I work for a

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religious guy, he's gonna cut me off.

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That's it.

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Yeah.

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So-

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I understand that

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...
what would we do in that situation?

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So there's ways around this, people.

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Um, if we're talking about
a Facebook group, okay?

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You're part of a Facebook group.

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Your profile is two emoji
heads over your bodies.

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Yeah.

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Totally understand that.

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Once you post that, say you're doing an
introduction, you can post your picture,

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your actual picture in the comments.

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Yeah.

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Like, I've seen people, and
actually this just happened.

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These, um, this couple had the pictures
and it was, like, an emoji head, or not

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even their, like, their body, or just
their bodies and, like, no, no head.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, wonderful, but they're
asking for friends.

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So, like, they wanted to hook up
or find people they could hang out

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with, and the people in the comments,
including myself, said, "Well, I mean,

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we don't even know if you're a real
person," because some of these- Yeah

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groups don't vet.

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Right, right.

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Um, and so you're in there.

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Mm-hmm.

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I was like, "I don't even know
if you're a real person," and

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she's like, "Well, I'm sorry.

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I just wanted to make sure, um, that
you're, you know, that we're real

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private." Understand, you're in a group.

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You're already in an ENM group.

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Like- If somebody that you know
is gonna see you there, it's...

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They're in there.

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Yeah.

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These groups are private.

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Yeah.

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Well, you know, so a lot of these
newer apps, like 3Fun, for example.

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Yeah.

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Um, you know, they'll give you, as,
as the person who's starting up a

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profile, they give you an opportunity
to have a whole separate album-

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Mm-hmm

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...
that you can release, or,
or separate pictures- Mm-hmm

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that you can release to people if they
request, if you wanna release it to

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them.

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Right.

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And some people will put
explicit photos in there.

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Some people will just put
pictures of their face.

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Mm-hmm.

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And they're like, uh, "Oh, you
know, if you, if you like us and

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we like you, here, let me share
this. This is what we look like."

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Yeah,

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yeah.

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Uh, you know, things like
that, okay, understandable.

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Um, but if you're trying to be discreet
on, uh, an app like 3Fun or- Yeah ... SDC,

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understand that it, it is a swinger app.

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It

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is.

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It, it, it's... So if you're afraid
of somebody finding you on the

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swinger app, whoever's gonna find
you was also on a swinger app.

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Exactly.

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Uh, so I... You know, and I'm
sure, yeah, so anybody can, can

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take screenshots and send it off.

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Mm-hmm.

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Whatever, but you know what?

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That can happen with anything.

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Yeah.

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You know?

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It really

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can.

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So, like, a, a picture.

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You know, you can still say...
Your profile can still say, still

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say, or still be with your little
emoji heads or whatever, right?

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Yeah.

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Picture of your cat.

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But somewhere you need to
have a picture of yourself.

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You need to be able to start with that.

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Or at least put in the profile- Now... Yes
... you can say a, a, a picture- Picture

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upon

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request ... face picture upon request.

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Yeah.

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You know, that sort of thing.

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Um, now of what I get a lot,
this is what I get a lot of.

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I get a lot of just people like
that, and then they send me a picture

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immediately, and it's of their privates.

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Oh, yeah.

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Explicit content.

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Nobody wants that.

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I don't want that.

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I don't want pictures of your wife.

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I don't want pictures of you.

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I... If I wanna get to
know you, I want you.

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Um, I wanna see your face, not...

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And I literally always have to say,
"Send me a picture of yourself,

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not naked. I need you clothed."

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Now, you know, I will say that that
really, it can work for certain people

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because there are women- Oh, yeah ... out
there who will do a picture, a profile

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picture of just their cleavage, and
when that happens, uh, it, it stops you.

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It stops people.

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I know.

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But I mean, still- It's
like, oh, look at that.

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That's nice cleavage.

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But there's no face attached.

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Yeah.

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Now, I will say I will stop
to look at the cleavage.

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Butter face.

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But then if I don't see a face pic, I,
I've learned... And the only reason why

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I do this now, I've learned the hard way.

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I've been burned- Yeah ... before.

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Yeah.

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Uh, where I'll, I'll like a picture
solely because I'm scoping out

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their bodies because- Yeah ... their
faces are, are, are covered.

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And then we'll start talking, and
then we'll meet, and it's like,

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"Oh, no. I'm not attracted." I

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can tell- "Not

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attracted"

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...
a fake profile So quickly

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I don't know.

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Why would you wanna, why would you
wanna cheat somebody into liking you?

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Oh my gosh.

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Or cheat somebody into, to- It's
Catfish Like, what's the point?

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There's a whole

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show on it.

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But I don't understand
the point of it, though.

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To see how far you can get.

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That's, that's for another show.

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That's something

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else.

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Yeah.

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That's for another show.

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But either way, I mean, l-
let's, let's be real here.

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If, if you don't, if you're not showing
your face on your pictures, uh, it's

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not... Like I said, it's understandable.

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Yeah.

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But there are going to be
some issues that come with it.

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You're not gonna be out there.

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Y- you're gonna have, you're gonna have to
sit back and go, "Okay, well, I understand

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why we're not getting as many hits."

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Yeah.

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I was telling Pris before we got started
with the show, this is like fishing.

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Yes.

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If you ain't got no bait and
you just throw a hook out there,

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you're not gonna catch anything.

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No.

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Um, we live in a time where everything
is online, everything is through apps.

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Uh, yes, you can meet up with people
at events and things like that, but you

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gotta get into the community first- Yes

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in order to do that.

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Yeah.

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But a lot of people who haven't
been accepted into the community

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or haven't been involved in the
community, they just wanna start with

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an app, and that's understandably so.

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Mm-hmm.

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That's what we did, too.

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Mm-hmm.

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Yeah.

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If, if you don't, if you don't
put the right stuff out there,

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nobody's gonna stop you.

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No.

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Nobody's gonna be like, "Hey,

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let's talk." I... If I can't, like,
especially for me, like, if I can't

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see the person on ThreeFun, I'm X,
X. Like, I'm not even gonna look.

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If you have just shady
pictures or if it's- Oh, yeah

253
00:08:46,822 --> 00:08:47,702
not of you.

254
00:08:47,742 --> 00:08:52,282
If it's not of you, I'm like, "Mm,
no." I have to see what you look like.

255
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,172
Like, it's just, you know.

256
00:08:54,712 --> 00:08:56,022
And I wanna see happiness.

257
00:08:56,752 --> 00:08:57,622
Happy couples- Oh, man.

258
00:08:57,622 --> 00:08:57,842
Yeah

259
00:08:57,842 --> 00:08:58,982
...
attract happy couples.

260
00:08:59,112 --> 00:08:59,302
Yeah.

261
00:08:59,302 --> 00:09:00,542
So you gotta show yourself, guys.

262
00:09:00,542 --> 00:09:04,302
You gotta enjoy life and each
other, but show your face.

263
00:09:04,302 --> 00:09:07,552
Like, if you... And especially,
like, friend requests, I will not

264
00:09:07,552 --> 00:09:09,082
accept a friend request if I don't...

265
00:09:09,202 --> 00:09:11,202
Like, I'll send them to you and
be like, "Do we know this person?"

266
00:09:11,642 --> 00:09:11,702
Yeah.

267
00:09:11,822 --> 00:09:14,692
And we have people just so, like,
"Oh, I'm so-and-so." And I'm like,

268
00:09:14,772 --> 00:09:16,272
"Oh, look, that's what you look like.

269
00:09:16,352 --> 00:09:19,022
I thought you looked like..."
We actually had somebody come

270
00:09:19,022 --> 00:09:20,762
up to us and be like, um...

271
00:09:21,262 --> 00:09:21,592
oh, yeah.

272
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,682
Her face was...

273
00:09:23,892 --> 00:09:24,482
What's

274
00:09:24,482 --> 00:09:24,822
a picture?

275
00:09:24,822 --> 00:09:25,872
It's a picture of something.

276
00:09:26,062 --> 00:09:27,232
Thought it was, like, a cat or so- Yeah

277
00:09:27,232 --> 00:09:27,472
...
I don't know.

278
00:09:27,472 --> 00:09:27,812
It's like a

279
00:09:27,812 --> 00:09:28,192
cartoon.

280
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:28,282
And she's...

281
00:09:28,312 --> 00:09:31,572
Yeah, she's like, "I'm not a cartoon
cat." And I was like, "Oh, that's,

282
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,342
that's that's who you are." Yeah.

283
00:09:33,672 --> 00:09:35,242
Yeah, so it's, um...

284
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:41,212
I get the discretion, but at some
point you have to break away from

285
00:09:41,212 --> 00:09:43,742
that because whoever sees you
on there is already on there.

286
00:09:44,012 --> 00:09:47,102
Well, so I will say when we
were, when we were discreet and

287
00:09:47,102 --> 00:09:48,362
the pictures that I would put-

288
00:09:48,772 --> 00:09:49,022
Yeah

289
00:09:49,052 --> 00:09:51,872
...
usually I would cut it
off from the eyes up.

290
00:09:52,372 --> 00:09:52,562
Hmm.

291
00:09:52,562 --> 00:09:55,682
So I know a lot of people
that cut off their photos from

292
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:56,402
the neck up- From the neck

293
00:09:56,402 --> 00:09:56,592
up

294
00:09:56,832 --> 00:09:58,132
or even from the chin up.

295
00:09:58,302 --> 00:09:58,522
Yeah.

296
00:09:58,552 --> 00:10:01,792
I would do it from, like, the l-
the, the bottom part of the eyes

297
00:10:01,842 --> 00:10:03,362
up i- is where I would cut it off.

298
00:10:03,742 --> 00:10:06,592
Because you can see a
lot from the eyes below.

299
00:10:06,592 --> 00:10:06,942
Yeah.

300
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,172
And, and, but it's also discreet enough.

301
00:10:09,172 --> 00:10:09,472
Plus I have

302
00:10:09,472 --> 00:10:10,222
devo eyes.

303
00:10:10,752 --> 00:10:11,422
Hey, you never know.

304
00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:11,582
If I

305
00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:12,512
have devo, I was like,

306
00:10:12,622 --> 00:10:14,132
"
Ugh." Oh my gosh.

307
00:10:14,162 --> 00:10:14,802
Sorry, guys.

308
00:10:14,842 --> 00:10:15,202
Yeah.

309
00:10:15,842 --> 00:10:18,782
Um, yeah, like, I don't know.

310
00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:22,512
And your profile, so that's,
that's the pictures, right?

311
00:10:22,982 --> 00:10:23,142
Now let- I

312
00:10:23,142 --> 00:10:25,392
mean, this is, so this is where
we live at right now- Yeah ... is

313
00:10:25,432 --> 00:10:27,552
that pictures make a person stop-

314
00:10:27,582 --> 00:10:27,752
Yes

315
00:10:28,242 --> 00:10:28,952
...
and go, "Okay, let me-

316
00:10:28,952 --> 00:10:29,292
Now-

317
00:10:29,322 --> 00:10:29,912
...
read the bio"

318
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,062
...
do you read the bio?

319
00:10:31,392 --> 00:10:32,672
So I do, actually.

320
00:10:32,672 --> 00:10:32,742
I

321
00:10:32,742 --> 00:10:32,862
do too.

322
00:10:32,862 --> 00:10:35,892
I know a lot of people that don't,
and that's the disappointing thing

323
00:10:35,892 --> 00:10:38,742
is, uh, you know, when you've
been on these, these damn apps-

324
00:10:38,802 --> 00:10:38,962
Mm-hmm

325
00:10:38,962 --> 00:10:41,562
and the websites, you realize
there's, there's a lot of

326
00:10:41,562 --> 00:10:43,142
people that do not read the bio.

327
00:10:43,252 --> 00:10:43,292
Um-

328
00:10:43,472 --> 00:10:44,642
Let me tell you what I don't like.

329
00:10:44,772 --> 00:10:45,102
What's that?

330
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:50,762
I don't like when we're on, like, the, on
3Fun, and I'm going through bios and it

331
00:10:50,762 --> 00:10:55,182
says, like, single woman, and then you go
through the pictures and there's a man.

332
00:10:55,682 --> 00:10:56,052
Oh, yeah.

333
00:10:56,552 --> 00:10:58,492
Are you... Y- Just, right there
you're just trying to fish.

334
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:01,542
You're trying to find somebody,
and you're not being true.

335
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:02,002
Yeah.

336
00:11:02,112 --> 00:11:02,512
Um-

337
00:11:02,512 --> 00:11:02,922
That's true.

338
00:11:03,442 --> 00:11:04,822
Yeah ... again, those are like pictures.

339
00:11:04,822 --> 00:11:06,752
If I don't see your face, I'm not into it.

340
00:11:06,902 --> 00:11:12,922
But, and if I look into the bio and I
really try to read every single piece of

341
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:16,982
it, like, I love an ex- very expanded bio.

342
00:11:17,012 --> 00:11:17,772
I wanna know- And some

343
00:11:17,772 --> 00:11:19,382
people really put their, their whole-

344
00:11:19,382 --> 00:11:19,452
Yeah.

345
00:11:19,452 --> 00:11:19,882
Like-

346
00:11:20,052 --> 00:11:21,402
...
uh, everything that you need to know

347
00:11:21,702 --> 00:11:26,452
...
I feel like your age needs to be on
there, your s- sexual- your gender.

348
00:11:26,592 --> 00:11:26,792
Yeah.

349
00:11:27,002 --> 00:11:27,462
Um-

350
00:11:28,072 --> 00:11:29,842
Let your personality show in it, really

351
00:11:29,842 --> 00:11:30,202
...
let your

352
00:11:30,202 --> 00:11:30,682
per- yes.

353
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,952
Uh, I've, I've seen people,
they'll, they'll joke.

354
00:11:33,302 --> 00:11:34,622
They'll make little jokes in there- Yeah

355
00:11:34,622 --> 00:11:36,022
if that's part of their personality.

356
00:11:36,022 --> 00:11:37,972
They talk about how they like animes.

357
00:11:37,972 --> 00:11:41,702
'Cause, you know, let me tell you,
anime people love other anime people.

358
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:42,122
Yes.

359
00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:43,472
And so right off the bat.

360
00:11:43,512 --> 00:11:46,732
Or, or D&D, you know- Yeah ... Dungeons
and Dragons, things like that.

361
00:11:46,932 --> 00:11:50,852
Like, they'll put their interests
in there because it's easy to

362
00:11:50,852 --> 00:11:52,402
connect with somebody- Yeah

363
00:11:52,402 --> 00:11:54,532
if they see your interests.

364
00:11:54,532 --> 00:11:54,712
Mm-hmm.

365
00:11:54,752 --> 00:11:55,112
You know?

366
00:11:55,252 --> 00:12:01,972
Um, your age, your interests, your sexual,
your gender, and your s- what is it?

367
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:02,382
What is it called?

368
00:12:02,382 --> 00:12:03,092
Sexual label?

369
00:12:03,092 --> 00:12:03,962
Like, what is that called?

370
00:12:03,962 --> 00:12:05,292
Like, what you're into.

371
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:05,352
Your

372
00:12:05,352 --> 00:12:05,832
dynamic.

373
00:12:05,832 --> 00:12:06,772
Your dynamic.

374
00:12:06,772 --> 00:12:06,932
Yeah.

375
00:12:06,962 --> 00:12:08,512
Um, and then get detailed.

376
00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:10,682
Like, I had to change mine-

377
00:12:11,442 --> 00:12:11,632
Yeah

378
00:12:11,632 --> 00:12:16,332
...
because I put on mine, um, yes,
I'm married, but we- You like

379
00:12:16,452 --> 00:12:18,202
for me to be, like to go out.

380
00:12:18,202 --> 00:12:20,722
Like I lo- Yeah, I like the hot
life ... I like to go out with couples-

381
00:12:20,722 --> 00:12:22,512
King ... and I love to go out by myself.

382
00:12:22,562 --> 00:12:26,212
I love to go out with couples and have
a date night, and then go have fun.

383
00:12:26,672 --> 00:12:31,052
Um, it's a very rare occasion that
it happens, but I fix it on my bio.

384
00:12:31,102 --> 00:12:32,382
Like that- Yeah ... it says that.

385
00:12:32,832 --> 00:12:35,122
Um, my husband does have to meet you.

386
00:12:35,902 --> 00:12:38,532
It's good to put some of
your, your- Put your dynamic

387
00:12:38,532 --> 00:12:39,872
... boundaries on there as well.

388
00:12:39,872 --> 00:12:39,932
Yeah.

389
00:12:39,932 --> 00:12:40,342
You know?

390
00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:44,212
Because let's face facts, you don't
wanna waste anybody's time and you

391
00:12:44,212 --> 00:12:45,642
don't want anybody wasting your time.

392
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:51,592
Um, and so the more you put in your
bio, the more that people can get to

393
00:12:51,592 --> 00:12:53,982
see you and go, "Okay, you know what?

394
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,572
Yeah, I can't see their eyes
in their picture, but you know

395
00:12:56,572 --> 00:12:57,862
what, what it says in the bio-

396
00:12:57,862 --> 00:12:58,252
Yeah

397
00:12:58,442 --> 00:12:59,502
...
kinda catches my attention.

398
00:12:59,502 --> 00:12:59,852
Oh, my God.

399
00:12:59,852 --> 00:13:01,832
I think I'm gonna go ahead and
swipe right on this one," you know?

400
00:13:02,052 --> 00:13:05,212
Read the bio, because if you come at
them on their messages and be like,

401
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:09,792
"Hi, what are y'all into?" Oh, my
God, that is the most rudest thing.

402
00:13:09,792 --> 00:13:12,032
Like, I put everything
you wanted to know in my

403
00:13:12,032 --> 00:13:12,492
bio.

404
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:12,902
Oh, yeah, you do.

405
00:13:12,902 --> 00:13:13,632
But you know what?

406
00:13:14,132 --> 00:13:15,012
Here's my problem.

407
00:13:15,012 --> 00:13:15,372
Let's have a

408
00:13:15,372 --> 00:13:15,822
conversation.

409
00:13:15,822 --> 00:13:18,422
There's a lot of people out there who
complain that they're not getting any

410
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:20,922
bites on their, on their, uh, app.

411
00:13:21,422 --> 00:13:25,172
And then you look at their
profile and it just says, "Ask

412
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:25,942
me whatever you wanna know."

413
00:13:26,492 --> 00:13:27,252
Yeah, mine does not say that.

414
00:13:27,252 --> 00:13:28,562
Or, "Whatever you wanna know, just ask."

415
00:13:28,592 --> 00:13:28,852
Yeah.

416
00:13:29,092 --> 00:13:30,872
And that's so frigging lazy, man.

417
00:13:30,872 --> 00:13:30,932
Yeah.

418
00:13:31,032 --> 00:13:31,952
That's so lazy.

419
00:13:31,982 --> 00:13:32,202
Yeah.

420
00:13:32,322 --> 00:13:34,022
I mean, uh, why?

421
00:13:34,372 --> 00:13:39,302
I- Why can't you just take the time,
couple minutes- Yeah ... and put a

422
00:13:39,302 --> 00:13:40,682
little bit about yourself in there?

423
00:13:40,712 --> 00:13:40,952
Yeah.

424
00:13:40,992 --> 00:13:42,362
Of course you're not gonna get hit.

425
00:13:42,562 --> 00:13:42,762
No.

426
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:43,972
You're not gonna get hit up-

427
00:13:44,052 --> 00:13:44,342
No

428
00:13:44,452 --> 00:13:46,332
'cause you're, you're being lazy about it.

429
00:13:46,332 --> 00:13:46,672
Yes.

430
00:13:46,712 --> 00:13:50,062
Now, the other, the other end of it
is, you know, the wall of hard nos.

431
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:52,792
I mean, that's a conversation that
you- Mm ... can have with anybody.

432
00:13:52,792 --> 00:13:55,862
But yeah, it's okay to put your
boundaries in there, but let's not

433
00:13:55,862 --> 00:13:59,272
put a whole profile of, "I don't
do this, I don't do that, I don't

434
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,272
like this, I don't like that."

435
00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:00,392
Like-

436
00:14:00,392 --> 00:14:00,982
Yeah

437
00:14:00,982 --> 00:14:02,502
...
bro, I will keep on moving.

438
00:14:02,682 --> 00:14:03,192
Yeah.

439
00:14:03,222 --> 00:14:03,282
Yeah.

440
00:14:03,282 --> 00:14:05,652
I mean, you know, a little bit,
sh- let a little bit of what,

441
00:14:05,742 --> 00:14:07,172
who you are shine in that.

442
00:14:07,322 --> 00:14:12,422
Like, let it, let it be like
what you, what you enjoy doing.

443
00:14:12,592 --> 00:14:13,182
You know?

444
00:14:13,182 --> 00:14:16,972
If you like certain foods or if
you're really into anime, if you're

445
00:14:16,972 --> 00:14:20,292
really into music- Yeah ... um,
if you like going dancing.

446
00:14:20,542 --> 00:14:27,012
Like, let a little bit of you show
up in your bio and your profile so

447
00:14:27,012 --> 00:14:30,542
that people can know, okay, you know,
like for me, I don't like hunting.

448
00:14:30,642 --> 00:14:32,612
If you go hunting and you're
like, "Oh, I love going hunting,"

449
00:14:32,812 --> 00:14:34,342
eh, that's a hard no for me.

450
00:14:34,682 --> 00:14:36,662
Um, that's my preference, right?

451
00:14:36,902 --> 00:14:39,082
So you'd swipe left on
somebody who's a hunter?

452
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:39,692
Yeah.

453
00:14:39,722 --> 00:14:39,922
Yeah.

454
00:14:40,232 --> 00:14:41,402
Um, that's just me.

455
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:42,452
That's a me thing.

456
00:14:42,612 --> 00:14:45,612
Little animals, but what you do is fine.

457
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:46,442
Um...

458
00:14:46,942 --> 00:14:51,922
You know, I, I'll say when I'm, when
I'm swiping through- Yeah Obviously, the

459
00:14:51,922 --> 00:14:54,062
picture first and foremost will stop me

460
00:14:54,182 --> 00:14:54,512
Mm-hmm

461
00:14:54,662 --> 00:14:57,402
Uh, and that's the idea on a lot of
these apps- Yeah ... is the picture

462
00:14:57,402 --> 00:14:58,762
that will catch your attention.

463
00:14:58,872 --> 00:14:59,022
Yeah.

464
00:14:59,172 --> 00:15:01,842
If somebody catches my
attention real quick, then I'll

465
00:15:01,972 --> 00:15:03,372
immediately go to their bio.

466
00:15:03,932 --> 00:15:07,242
Like I said, if it says, "Ask
me," or, "Give me a question,"

467
00:15:07,242 --> 00:15:08,672
or whatever, like I, I'm done.

468
00:15:08,702 --> 00:15:09,622
I move, I move on.

469
00:15:09,782 --> 00:15:10,012
Yeah.

470
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:13,912
Uh, I will read it through, though,
and see if there's anything that

471
00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:17,902
catches my attention in the profile
that I can say, "Oh, I, I get

472
00:15:17,902 --> 00:15:18,922
that," or, "I connect with that."

473
00:15:18,922 --> 00:15:19,072
Yeah.

474
00:15:19,072 --> 00:15:25,032
Like I... Because the bottom line is sex
is best if you can connect with somebody.

475
00:15:25,512 --> 00:15:26,062
Yes.

476
00:15:26,062 --> 00:15:27,812
Not, not a one-night stand.

477
00:15:27,812 --> 00:15:27,942
Yes.

478
00:15:27,942 --> 00:15:30,552
And most of these people on these apps
are not looking for one-night stands.

479
00:15:30,632 --> 00:15:30,762
No.

480
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:34,542
So put your connection out there-
Mm-hmm ... via your profile.

481
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:34,892
Mm-hmm.

482
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:39,092
Talk about who you are, what you're
looking for, and w- what makes

483
00:15:39,092 --> 00:15:40,922
you fun to be around, you know?

484
00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:41,602
Authenticity.

485
00:15:41,832 --> 00:15:42,902
Hold on, hold on.

486
00:15:42,902 --> 00:15:44,572
We need to tell you guys about 3Fun first.

487
00:15:44,802 --> 00:15:45,292
Oh, yeah.

488
00:15:45,982 --> 00:15:48,902
Okay, so 3Fun is the app.

489
00:15:49,162 --> 00:15:50,192
You guys know the app.

490
00:15:50,702 --> 00:15:53,062
And if you don't know, it's for
couples and singles who wanna

491
00:15:53,062 --> 00:15:54,742
connect with like-minded people.

492
00:15:54,982 --> 00:15:56,162
And it actually works.

493
00:15:56,162 --> 00:15:57,652
Like, we're not just saying that.

494
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:58,602
It's easy.

495
00:15:58,602 --> 00:16:01,372
It's low pressure, and it's
way less awkward than trying

496
00:16:01,372 --> 00:16:02,322
to figure out on your own.

497
00:16:02,552 --> 00:16:03,592
Way less.

498
00:16:04,092 --> 00:16:04,992
We're gonna leave it at that.

499
00:16:05,552 --> 00:16:05,792
Yep.

500
00:16:06,272 --> 00:16:07,342
Download 3Fun.

501
00:16:07,562 --> 00:16:09,532
The link is in the show notes.

502
00:16:09,752 --> 00:16:10,162
Okay.

503
00:16:10,622 --> 00:16:11,212
Where were we?

504
00:16:11,672 --> 00:16:11,932
Huh.

505
00:16:12,432 --> 00:16:13,782
Oh, be authentic.

506
00:16:13,852 --> 00:16:14,632
Be authentic.

507
00:16:14,632 --> 00:16:15,492
100%, yeah.

508
00:16:15,522 --> 00:16:18,512
Like mine looked exactly like Adam's.

509
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:21,552
Like it was a b- we both got
the same bio, and we just

510
00:16:22,312 --> 00:16:23,602
pasted it on mine and, you know.

511
00:16:23,762 --> 00:16:23,902
Well,

512
00:16:23,902 --> 00:16:25,572
so f- you did that for years.

513
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:28,562
Yeah, and so this one is very different.

514
00:16:28,562 --> 00:16:31,342
This specifically tells you what I want.

515
00:16:31,392 --> 00:16:35,822
I think I'm gonna go back in there
because I am not into bi-situational.

516
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:37,742
I am not the bi-situational person.

517
00:16:37,742 --> 00:16:39,492
I've said this many, many, many times.

518
00:16:39,552 --> 00:16:39,762
Yeah.

519
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:43,152
If your profile says
bi-situational, I'm exiting.

520
00:16:43,722 --> 00:16:44,782
I am not that person.

521
00:16:45,192 --> 00:16:49,442
Um, now if you say I'm s- it, it
has to be... I've noticed that

522
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,372
it has to be said a certain way.

523
00:16:51,832 --> 00:16:52,112
Oh yeah?

524
00:16:52,252 --> 00:16:56,232
Yeah, so like if a woman says, "I'm
interest- I'm straight, but I am

525
00:16:56,302 --> 00:17:02,602
interested in possibly try- you know,
seeing if I like women," but if you

526
00:17:02,602 --> 00:17:07,142
put bi-situational, that screams to
me, "Oh, I have to be in the mood.

527
00:17:07,212 --> 00:17:11,382
Oh, I have to be intoxicated."
It might not be your situation,

528
00:17:11,872 --> 00:17:13,822
but that word to me says that.

529
00:17:14,412 --> 00:17:17,942
You know, I know a lot of people that
are in the, uh, kink community, and

530
00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:21,872
there's, there's that, uh, that kink
test- Yes ... that people often do.

531
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:22,252
Yeah.

532
00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:25,822
And it shows what different levels of kink
that you're in- Of kink that they're in

533
00:17:25,822 --> 00:17:27,172
different percentages and stuff.

534
00:17:27,232 --> 00:17:27,292
Yeah.

535
00:17:27,292 --> 00:17:30,092
There's a lot of people that include
that in their profile, not, not in their

536
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:33,892
profile pics, but in the pictures along
with their- Yeah ... profile pic so that

537
00:17:33,892 --> 00:17:38,322
people can swipe through it and they see,
oh, okay, they, they're into being bratty.

538
00:17:38,322 --> 00:17:40,372
Okay, well I'm looking for a
brat or whatever, you know?

539
00:17:40,582 --> 00:17:40,722
Yeah.

540
00:17:40,722 --> 00:17:42,182
It kinda gives you an idea.

541
00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:46,802
It's a, it's, it's the best kind of
communication for what you're doing.

542
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:47,342
Yeah.

543
00:17:47,602 --> 00:17:52,342
Uh, because oftentimes a lot
of these apps, you can't just

544
00:17:52,342 --> 00:17:56,352
randomly message somebody unless
you have both liked each other.

545
00:17:56,462 --> 00:17:57,012
You know what I mean?

546
00:17:57,102 --> 00:17:59,462
Yeah, I just opened up ThreeFun
'cause I was gonna read some of

547
00:17:59,462 --> 00:18:01,312
the, like the profiles and whatever.

548
00:18:02,092 --> 00:18:03,632
Yeah, I got a lot of likes.

549
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:04,002
Wow.

550
00:18:04,002 --> 00:18:04,142
Yeah.

551
00:18:04,252 --> 00:18:05,382
It's 'cause I changed it.

552
00:18:05,572 --> 00:18:09,772
And, and you know, like I said,
if you're, if you're going to put

553
00:18:09,772 --> 00:18:12,632
a picture on there and you don't
mind that your face is showing-

554
00:18:12,682 --> 00:18:12,792
Mm-hmm

555
00:18:12,862 --> 00:18:13,512
...
which is great.

556
00:18:13,732 --> 00:18:13,852
Mm-hmm.

557
00:18:14,212 --> 00:18:19,927
Um, there are a couple of- things that
you can do to better- Yes ... your photo.

558
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:21,817
So don't just put, uh, you know-

559
00:18:21,817 --> 00:18:23,467
Don't put an emoji face, guys

560
00:18:24,207 --> 00:18:27,287
Well, I mean, i- if, if you're
gonna show your actual face-

561
00:18:27,287 --> 00:18:27,677
Yeah

562
00:18:27,937 --> 00:18:29,897
...
um, put on a good picture.

563
00:18:30,787 --> 00:18:31,107
You know?

564
00:18:31,437 --> 00:18:35,287
And I know that it sounds silly, it
sounds silly, but, uh, we've seen a

565
00:18:35,287 --> 00:18:39,557
lot of profile pictures where th- they
could have done a better job- Yeah,

566
00:18:39,587 --> 00:18:41,757
so- ... putting something more flattering.

567
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,377
Yeah, like- Um- ... we
get it, authenticity.

568
00:18:44,677 --> 00:18:45,957
Like, be yourself.

569
00:18:46,107 --> 00:18:46,357
Yeah.

570
00:18:46,397 --> 00:18:52,037
But don't be yourself after you rolled
out of the bed and haven't done anything.

571
00:18:52,037 --> 00:18:54,717
You're just like, "I'm about
to start my... I'm gonna create

572
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,907
my ThreeFun profile." Click.

573
00:18:57,377 --> 00:18:57,657
Yeah.

574
00:18:57,727 --> 00:19:02,927
I mean, I s- ... I saw one where, uh, a
guy was sitting on a park bench and, and

575
00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:07,457
he was, like, surrounded with McDonald's,
and he just looked unhappy and sweaty,

576
00:19:07,757 --> 00:19:09,637
and that was the main profile picture.

577
00:19:09,807 --> 00:19:10,127
Oh, wow.

578
00:19:10,127 --> 00:19:13,827
And I was like, "Oh, man, that's
not gonna..." I mean, unless that

579
00:19:14,597 --> 00:19:17,017
catches somebody for a kink, you
know, or something like that.

580
00:19:17,017 --> 00:19:18,827
But it, it just didn't look happy.

581
00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:20,457
Yeah, like- And it's like, dude, smile.

582
00:19:20,607 --> 00:19:20,877
Yeah.

583
00:19:20,947 --> 00:19:21,977
Like, it's okay to smile.

584
00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:22,367
Yeah.

585
00:19:22,527 --> 00:19:23,717
Uh, you know, stuff like that.

586
00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:24,247
I mean-

587
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,687
And that's your first impression

588
00:19:25,907 --> 00:19:27,097
That's, exactly.

589
00:19:27,147 --> 00:19:28,017
That's your first impression.

590
00:19:28,017 --> 00:19:28,307
That is your

591
00:19:28,307 --> 00:19:28,717
first impression.

592
00:19:28,717 --> 00:19:29,337
That's, that's- Like, that's the

593
00:19:29,477 --> 00:19:29,767
first

594
00:19:29,767 --> 00:19:29,957
thing

595
00:19:29,957 --> 00:19:32,837
...
Uh, like I said, it's, it's like
fishing without the right bait.

596
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:33,137
Yeah.

597
00:19:33,137 --> 00:19:34,907
You know, you're not gonna,
you're not gonna catch anything.

598
00:19:35,057 --> 00:19:35,247
Yeah.

599
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:35,747
You know?

600
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:41,367
Uh, s- also, open to anything-
No ... tells people nothing.

601
00:19:41,457 --> 00:19:43,077
That is n- that is too vague.

602
00:19:43,077 --> 00:19:43,987
Don't be vague.

603
00:19:43,987 --> 00:19:44,387
Don't be vague.

604
00:19:44,387 --> 00:19:45,017
Don't be vague.

605
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:45,637
It's not

606
00:19:45,637 --> 00:19:45,967
sexy.

607
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:46,887
Just put the time forth.

608
00:19:46,887 --> 00:19:47,287
Yes.

609
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:47,687
You know?

610
00:19:47,727 --> 00:19:47,897
Yeah.

611
00:19:47,897 --> 00:19:49,427
Just put the, put the time forth.

612
00:19:49,477 --> 00:19:49,877
Yeah.

613
00:19:50,317 --> 00:19:56,277
Um, people are going to find something
and they're gonna be like, "Oh, are

614
00:19:56,277 --> 00:19:57,437
you open to that? You said you were."

615
00:19:58,137 --> 00:19:58,377
Yeah.

616
00:19:58,377 --> 00:19:59,557
"
You said you were open
to it," and it's like,

617
00:19:59,557 --> 00:19:59,587
oh.

618
00:19:59,587 --> 00:20:00,907
And then you're gonna
turn it down, you know?

619
00:20:00,907 --> 00:20:01,907
It's like, oh.

620
00:20:01,937 --> 00:20:02,207
Yeah, yeah.

621
00:20:02,287 --> 00:20:04,227
Well, this is what you
said in your profile.

622
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:04,417
Yeah.

623
00:20:04,417 --> 00:20:04,907
You know?

624
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:09,047
Uh, specificity signals
self-awareness, which is genuinely

625
00:20:09,047 --> 00:20:10,267
attractive in this community.

626
00:20:10,317 --> 00:20:10,787
Yes.

627
00:20:10,827 --> 00:20:12,287
It is very, very, very.

628
00:20:13,017 --> 00:20:18,487
Pre-filtering the wrong fits saves
everyone time and awkward conversations.

629
00:20:18,657 --> 00:20:19,167
Yeah.

630
00:20:19,437 --> 00:20:20,557
Like- Yeah ... know what you want.

631
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:26,867
Now, I, I have seen, uh, profiles, I've
met up with people, and you, you see

632
00:20:26,867 --> 00:20:28,767
their profile and they look one way.

633
00:20:28,807 --> 00:20:28,837
Ah.

634
00:20:28,837 --> 00:20:32,207
And then you meet them and it's
like, when was the last time you

635
00:20:32,207 --> 00:20:34,047
updated your profile picture?

636
00:20:34,747 --> 00:20:37,847
Um, how often do you update
your profile picture?

637
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:40,547
So look, I'll be very honest with you.

638
00:20:40,547 --> 00:20:40,877
Yeah.

639
00:20:41,277 --> 00:20:45,777
I do not use filters on-
Yeah ... any of my pictures.

640
00:20:45,807 --> 00:20:45,917
Yeah.

641
00:20:45,947 --> 00:20:50,647
Um, like, I don't do the lashes, like
the fake, like I don't do those filters.

642
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,547
I will change, like, the colors-

643
00:20:52,717 --> 00:20:52,937
Okay

644
00:20:52,937 --> 00:20:55,107
...
just because sometimes my
lighting, I'm at work or something.

645
00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:55,507
Yeah, yeah.

646
00:20:55,557 --> 00:20:59,317
Um, but I don't... My pictures are me.

647
00:20:59,567 --> 00:20:59,767
Yeah.

648
00:20:59,957 --> 00:21:03,287
Like, I don't really change them
often unless I know that, oh, you d-

649
00:21:03,287 --> 00:21:04,737
you took a really good picture of me.

650
00:21:04,737 --> 00:21:04,977
Yeah.

651
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,907
Or I took a really good picture of myself.

652
00:21:07,347 --> 00:21:09,227
Then I'll change it, 'cause
I'll be like, oh, this is fun.

653
00:21:09,517 --> 00:21:14,802
Um, I mean, I maybe change it- I
don't know, every three months maybe.

654
00:21:14,902 --> 00:21:15,112
Yeah

655
00:21:15,212 --> 00:21:17,832
But what you get, what
you see is what you get.

656
00:21:17,832 --> 00:21:17,982
Is,

657
00:21:17,982 --> 00:21:20,982
is re- Like- Yeah, what you see on our
profile pictures- Yeah, like- ... are

658
00:21:20,982 --> 00:21:23,082
usually relatively, uh, recent

659
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:23,722
The wrinklies.

660
00:21:23,722 --> 00:21:24,052
Yeah.

661
00:21:24,182 --> 00:21:26,572
Wrinklies, the dark, dark
circles under my eyes.

662
00:21:26,712 --> 00:21:27,412
That's all real.

663
00:21:27,442 --> 00:21:27,692
Yeah.

664
00:21:27,692 --> 00:21:29,552
Don't, don't use a Snapchat filter.

665
00:21:29,882 --> 00:21:32,522
I- Oh ... although I will
tell you, I will tell you, so-

666
00:21:32,522 --> 00:21:34,322
So I'm gonna tell a story
once you're done with that

667
00:21:34,552 --> 00:21:38,162
...
I, I kinda, I, you know, you see
a- No ... a girl with a picture and

668
00:21:38,162 --> 00:21:40,882
she's got, like, a puppy dog, and
she's doing the puppy dog filter.

669
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:41,062
Yes.

670
00:21:41,532 --> 00:21:41,902
Okay.

671
00:21:41,932 --> 00:21:46,692
So normally my answer would be no to
that, but there's something about seeing

672
00:21:46,862 --> 00:21:48,502
these girls with the puppy dog filters.

673
00:21:48,502 --> 00:21:53,292
Like, I know that most of the time
that the women that take pictures with

674
00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:57,212
the puppy dog filters, I don't know,
I've, I've run into a lot of them, and

675
00:21:57,212 --> 00:22:01,192
a lot of them have been pretty easy
and kinda dirty in a, in a sexual way.

676
00:22:01,192 --> 00:22:01,332
Yeah.

677
00:22:01,332 --> 00:22:03,122
Um, and that- And I kinda like
that ... I was gonna say that

678
00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:05,562
because I was gonna say, really?

679
00:22:06,402 --> 00:22:07,292
I kinda like that.

680
00:22:07,602 --> 00:22:08,622
We... Really?

681
00:22:08,622 --> 00:22:09,522
Are you not on my side anymore?

682
00:22:09,732 --> 00:22:09,942
We used-

683
00:22:09,942 --> 00:22:10,732
I'm totally on your side

684
00:22:10,732 --> 00:22:10,992
...
we used to

685
00:22:10,992 --> 00:22:13,132
make- I'm just... No, no,
no ... really- I'm on your side 100%.

686
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:13,622
I'm on your side.

687
00:22:13,622 --> 00:22:14,352
So- Jesus.

688
00:22:14,592 --> 00:22:15,332
I'm on your side.

689
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:15,822
Damn it.

690
00:22:15,822 --> 00:22:15,882
So

691
00:22:16,552 --> 00:22:18,032
we, when we were poly- I'm just like,

692
00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:18,472
"
What's gonna happen?"

693
00:22:18,972 --> 00:22:19,602
That's fucking right.

694
00:22:19,602 --> 00:22:23,202
Adam's, all the girls, I'd be like,
"What does she look like?" And he would

695
00:22:23,202 --> 00:22:24,832
flip the phone to me so I could see.

696
00:22:24,892 --> 00:22:25,122
Yeah.

697
00:22:25,192 --> 00:22:28,092
And it would be this girl with
the puppy dog little thing and

698
00:22:28,092 --> 00:22:29,042
the little tongue hanging out.

699
00:22:29,042 --> 00:22:33,712
I'm like, "Is she an animal or is
she a person?" Like, ladies, ladies.

700
00:22:33,712 --> 00:22:35,332
Uh, okay, fine.

701
00:22:35,332 --> 00:22:38,792
You need to have the little
lash filter on, fine.

702
00:22:38,792 --> 00:22:39,772
Uh, you know, that one drives me

703
00:22:39,772 --> 00:22:40,352
nuts, honestly.

704
00:22:40,352 --> 00:22:44,072
But take a picture of yourself
in really good lighting.

705
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:45,212
It doesn't take much.

706
00:22:45,382 --> 00:22:46,552
All of you are beautiful.

707
00:22:47,002 --> 00:22:51,132
Go outside, get some good lighting
when the, you know, the sun is

708
00:22:51,132 --> 00:22:53,772
out or you just did your makeup.

709
00:22:54,122 --> 00:22:56,462
Put a good profile picture on.

710
00:22:56,772 --> 00:23:01,032
Now, we're not saying you have to
look like this every moment, but

711
00:23:01,162 --> 00:23:06,452
it's deceiving if you are taking a
picture and it's all filtered, and

712
00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:09,412
then they see you and it's like, okay,
you... That's not what you look like.

713
00:23:09,952 --> 00:23:11,532
Like, it's not cool.

714
00:23:11,992 --> 00:23:16,892
Um, I feel f- I know a lot of
people are very sel- or insecure.

715
00:23:16,992 --> 00:23:17,622
Self-conscious.

716
00:23:17,622 --> 00:23:17,982
Full... Yeah.

717
00:23:18,012 --> 00:23:18,242
Yeah.

718
00:23:18,242 --> 00:23:23,772
Self, full body pictures are
a big help because people

719
00:23:23,772 --> 00:23:25,422
wanna know what you look like.

720
00:23:25,422 --> 00:23:30,702
If I think that you're, you know... If
you lost a lot of weight or if you gained

721
00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:34,612
a lot of weight, you need to kind of
have a picture of, up-to-date picture.

722
00:23:35,272 --> 00:23:35,642
I mean-

723
00:23:36,022 --> 00:23:36,782
It doesn't hurt.

724
00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:38,402
You know, I will say this.

725
00:23:38,402 --> 00:23:40,212
There's a lot of people out
there, it's like you said, there,

726
00:23:40,242 --> 00:23:42,212
there are a lot of them are, are
insecure, they're self-conscious.

727
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:42,502
Of course.

728
00:23:42,542 --> 00:23:43,122
I am.

729
00:23:43,122 --> 00:23:44,382
Let me tell you something, okay?

730
00:23:44,872 --> 00:23:48,932
There is a pot for every lid out there Yes
... and you, even though you don't think so-

731
00:23:49,112 --> 00:23:49,442
Yes

732
00:23:49,442 --> 00:23:50,232
...
you're attractive.

733
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:50,782
Yes.

734
00:23:50,782 --> 00:23:53,222
You're a good-looking person to somebody.

735
00:23:53,252 --> 00:23:53,632
Yes.

736
00:23:53,632 --> 00:23:53,972
Maybe not

737
00:23:53,972 --> 00:23:54,812
everybody- Exactly

738
00:23:54,902 --> 00:23:58,102
...
but to somebody out there in this
lifestyle, somebody's gonna find your

739
00:23:58,102 --> 00:24:00,862
picture, and they're gonna stop, and
they're gonna go, "Oh, okay." And

740
00:24:00,862 --> 00:24:03,462
then they're gonna scroll to your
profile, and then they're gonna see

741
00:24:03,862 --> 00:24:06,382
Ask Us, and they're gonna be like,
"Fuck this." You know what I'm saying?

742
00:24:06,382 --> 00:24:08,342
Like, you are attractive.

743
00:24:08,422 --> 00:24:12,402
You have to believe it, and if you don't
believe it, at least put yourself out

744
00:24:12,462 --> 00:24:15,202
there- Yeah ... and see what happens.

745
00:24:15,232 --> 00:24:15,642
Yes.

746
00:24:15,642 --> 00:24:21,982
Uh, because when you deceive in a
way where you use heavy filters or,

747
00:24:22,022 --> 00:24:22,612
you know- It is that.

748
00:24:22,682 --> 00:24:23,622
It is deceitful.

749
00:24:23,802 --> 00:24:25,762
It is deceitful, unfortunately.

750
00:24:25,962 --> 00:24:26,382
It's catfishing.

751
00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:26,572
Like-

752
00:24:26,572 --> 00:24:28,692
Um, a- and, and you know,
at some point if you...

753
00:24:28,992 --> 00:24:30,612
Are you serious about
meeting up with them?

754
00:24:30,642 --> 00:24:30,772
Yes.

755
00:24:30,772 --> 00:24:31,552
Because what are you gonna do?

756
00:24:31,552 --> 00:24:33,022
You gonna trick them
into sleeping with you?

757
00:24:33,022 --> 00:24:33,122
Yeah,

758
00:24:33,402 --> 00:24:33,522
yeah.

759
00:24:33,522 --> 00:24:34,182
Come on, man.

760
00:24:34,542 --> 00:24:35,452
You know, you don't wanna do that.

761
00:24:35,452 --> 00:24:36,302
You wanna be forward.

762
00:24:36,302 --> 00:24:37,052
You wanna be upfront.

763
00:24:37,052 --> 00:24:37,072
Yeah.

764
00:24:37,072 --> 00:24:38,872
You wanna be like, "Hey,
you know what? This is me."

765
00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:39,192
Mm-hmm.

766
00:24:39,192 --> 00:24:40,042
"
Take it or leave it."

767
00:24:40,072 --> 00:24:40,182
Yeah.

768
00:24:40,182 --> 00:24:40,932
You know what I'm saying?

769
00:24:41,202 --> 00:24:42,592
Um, that's for women.

770
00:24:42,822 --> 00:24:45,392
Men, I'ma give you a little bit of advice.

771
00:24:45,892 --> 00:24:52,012
I like a good picture of the man,
so that means head to toe, and

772
00:24:52,012 --> 00:24:53,292
I wanna know how... Your height.

773
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:55,252
Sorry, that's a me thing.

774
00:24:55,812 --> 00:24:58,392
I wanna know you're at least
taller than me or my height.

775
00:24:58,522 --> 00:25:01,022
And it has to be, you
have to be well-groomed.

776
00:25:01,262 --> 00:25:06,022
So, you know, once a month
you go get your hair cut.

777
00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:11,342
You're about to go out with your friends,
whatever, take a good picture and post it.

778
00:25:11,432 --> 00:25:13,712
I don't want a picture of you
with your homies drinking.

779
00:25:13,752 --> 00:25:15,082
I don't want a picture of you sweating.

780
00:25:15,502 --> 00:25:19,762
I don't want a picture of you, you
know, coming out of your work truck.

781
00:25:19,892 --> 00:25:24,192
I want a good picture knowing
what I'm gonna see when we go out.

782
00:25:24,932 --> 00:25:27,972
Yeah, I've seen, uh, pictures
of guys wearing hard hats and-

783
00:25:27,972 --> 00:25:28,192
No,

784
00:25:28,522 --> 00:25:29,832
mm-mm ... uh, things like that.

785
00:25:29,832 --> 00:25:30,822
I'm glad that you work.

786
00:25:31,182 --> 00:25:32,512
I'm glad that you work.

787
00:25:32,512 --> 00:25:33,342
So yeah.

788
00:25:33,852 --> 00:25:34,242
Yeah.

789
00:25:34,322 --> 00:25:37,492
So the hard hat thing, no, that's
not, um, that's not gonna work for me.

790
00:25:37,492 --> 00:25:38,322
I'm glad that you work.

791
00:25:38,322 --> 00:25:39,252
I'm glad that you're employed.

792
00:25:39,252 --> 00:25:40,122
I appreciate that.

793
00:25:40,682 --> 00:25:46,982
Um, but no, I, I want a
well-groomed looking picture.

794
00:25:47,772 --> 00:25:48,912
Uh- And keep it up to date.

795
00:25:49,162 --> 00:25:54,192
And guys, uh, guys and girls, don't,
don't have every single picture revolve

796
00:25:54,192 --> 00:25:56,272
around you drinking an alcoholic beverage.

797
00:25:56,772 --> 00:25:58,242
That's cool that you wanna drink.

798
00:25:58,242 --> 00:25:58,762
It's all right.

799
00:25:58,762 --> 00:25:59,762
A- ain't no problems there.

800
00:25:59,762 --> 00:26:00,132
We get it.

801
00:26:00,132 --> 00:26:00,792
Most people do.

802
00:26:00,972 --> 00:26:01,212
No.

803
00:26:01,562 --> 00:26:02,952
But every single picture?

804
00:26:02,952 --> 00:26:03,092
No.

805
00:26:03,092 --> 00:26:03,272
Come on.

806
00:26:03,332 --> 00:26:06,982
I wanna know normal
setting what you look like.

807
00:26:07,142 --> 00:26:07,292
Like-

808
00:26:07,292 --> 00:26:07,842
Yeah

809
00:26:08,712 --> 00:26:09,792
...
take some time.

810
00:26:09,822 --> 00:26:13,132
If you really want this
to work, take your time.

811
00:26:13,182 --> 00:26:16,872
I am not the only picky
woman in this world.

812
00:26:17,412 --> 00:26:17,512
Yeah.

813
00:26:17,512 --> 00:26:18,452
There's a lot of them.

814
00:26:18,452 --> 00:26:20,172
There are a lot of selective women.

815
00:26:20,172 --> 00:26:22,202
They wanna know that
you're gonna look good.

816
00:26:22,702 --> 00:26:26,782
Um, our pictures are very, very true.

817
00:26:27,102 --> 00:26:30,962
Well, so- 3Fun, for example,
uh, I mentioned 3Fun.

818
00:26:30,962 --> 00:26:37,752
What I like about 3Fun is that you can,
uh, have... Like, I have a profile for me.

819
00:26:37,972 --> 00:26:38,352
Mm-hmm.

820
00:26:38,352 --> 00:26:39,892
And you have a profile for you.

821
00:26:39,892 --> 00:26:39,982
Mm-hmm.

822
00:26:39,982 --> 00:26:41,242
And we're connected.

823
00:26:41,242 --> 00:26:41,862
And we're connected.

824
00:26:41,862 --> 00:26:45,562
So when you go to my profile, you
see that we're a couple, and you can

825
00:26:45,602 --> 00:26:47,382
actually click on her profile- Mm-hmm

826
00:26:47,472 --> 00:26:48,752
and you can see her profile.

827
00:26:48,752 --> 00:26:48,982
Mm-hmm.

828
00:26:49,292 --> 00:26:50,502
Uh, and vice versa.

829
00:26:50,932 --> 00:26:56,192
And with that, I put pi- you
know, I have a, a... The first

830
00:26:56,192 --> 00:26:58,302
picture on my profile is of me.

831
00:26:59,032 --> 00:26:59,312
Same.

832
00:27:00,052 --> 00:27:02,612
And this, because it's my profile.

833
00:27:02,612 --> 00:27:02,712
Yeah.

834
00:27:02,742 --> 00:27:04,782
So it's of me, but we're a couple.

835
00:27:05,292 --> 00:27:06,662
So m- first picture- I

836
00:27:06,662 --> 00:27:08,292
think we had it, our, our
couple picture, right?

837
00:27:08,292 --> 00:27:08,772
We had a couple

838
00:27:08,772 --> 00:27:10,502
pic- So we have a couple picture in there.

839
00:27:10,632 --> 00:27:10,892
Yeah.

840
00:27:10,942 --> 00:27:12,592
So the first picture is of me.

841
00:27:12,662 --> 00:27:12,932
Mm-hmm.

842
00:27:13,032 --> 00:27:16,672
The second picture is, I, I
normally try to throw in a full

843
00:27:16,672 --> 00:27:18,312
body picture of some sort in there.

844
00:27:18,862 --> 00:27:22,122
Um, and then I make sure to throw
in a picture of us together.

845
00:27:22,152 --> 00:27:22,282
Yeah.

846
00:27:23,022 --> 00:27:27,532
Because my profile specifically is not
ju- you know, it's, it's for us as a

847
00:27:27,532 --> 00:27:32,202
couple, and it's also for, uh, you know,
me as a friends with benefits- Mm-hmm

848
00:27:32,412 --> 00:27:33,222
dynamic as well.

849
00:27:33,222 --> 00:27:35,782
So, you know, you're, you're not
only looking at me, but you're

850
00:27:35,782 --> 00:27:37,902
looking at the couple if that's
something that's interesting you.

851
00:27:37,932 --> 00:27:38,222
Yeah.

852
00:27:38,392 --> 00:27:42,612
Uh, there's a lot of people that
put out pictures of just the woman,

853
00:27:43,302 --> 00:27:44,522
and they say that they're a couple.

854
00:27:44,552 --> 00:27:45,182
Oh my God.

855
00:27:45,182 --> 00:27:45,942
Where's- That drives me

856
00:27:45,942 --> 00:27:46,482
nuts ... where's the guy?

857
00:27:46,782 --> 00:27:47,052
Yeah.

858
00:27:47,142 --> 00:27:47,692
Where's the guy?

859
00:27:47,722 --> 00:27:47,792
Yeah.

860
00:27:47,792 --> 00:27:47,892
You know?

861
00:27:47,992 --> 00:27:49,312
If I don't see your man in there, mm-mm.

862
00:27:49,342 --> 00:27:52,742
I understand that it's a, it's a
woman-centric lifestyle, but if

863
00:27:52,742 --> 00:27:55,242
you're just gonna have the picture
of the woman and you're not gonna

864
00:27:55,242 --> 00:27:58,102
put the picture of the guy, doesn't
matter how hot the woman is-

865
00:27:58,302 --> 00:27:58,432
Mm-hmm

866
00:27:58,772 --> 00:28:01,342
...
there's gonna be a lot of us
that are gonna pass up on it- Yes

867
00:28:01,342 --> 00:28:04,212
because hey, you know, the woman,
the woman wants to know what,

868
00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:05,372
what they're dealing with too.

869
00:28:05,372 --> 00:28:05,802
I do.

870
00:28:05,912 --> 00:28:06,062
You know?

871
00:28:06,062 --> 00:28:06,252
I do.

872
00:28:06,252 --> 00:28:06,492
Yeah.

873
00:28:06,742 --> 00:28:07,122
Yeah.

874
00:28:07,452 --> 00:28:09,172
So that's, that's definitely a big one.

875
00:28:09,562 --> 00:28:10,272
That's definitely a big

876
00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:10,582
one.

877
00:28:10,582 --> 00:28:13,442
Um, no unsolici- solid pictures.

878
00:28:13,492 --> 00:28:13,842
What was that word?

879
00:28:13,842 --> 00:28:18,042
If you say, uh, no
unsolicited explicit openers.

880
00:28:18,412 --> 00:28:21,312
No unsolicited explicit- Explicit

881
00:28:21,692 --> 00:28:22,252
openers.

882
00:28:22,252 --> 00:28:22,602
Openers.

883
00:28:22,602 --> 00:28:26,642
In other words, don't, uh, just
message a picture of your dick.

884
00:28:26,682 --> 00:28:26,942
No.

885
00:28:26,942 --> 00:28:27,942
And let

886
00:28:27,942 --> 00:28:28,742
me tell you something.

887
00:28:28,742 --> 00:28:28,972
I will block

888
00:28:29,472 --> 00:28:29,542
you.

889
00:28:29,702 --> 00:28:32,002
It doesn't matter what size your dick is.

890
00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:32,062
No.

891
00:28:32,062 --> 00:28:34,262
It doesn't matter what it
looks like in the picture.

892
00:28:34,482 --> 00:28:36,352
That's not gonna win a woman over.

893
00:28:36,352 --> 00:28:38,592
And do not send me a picture of your lady.

894
00:28:39,082 --> 00:28:39,952
Oh, that's the worst

895
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:40,702
That's the worst.

896
00:28:40,702 --> 00:28:42,232
Like, I am- That's the worst ... I am so-

897
00:28:42,232 --> 00:28:44,382
Don't send a nude picture of your lady
Don't send a nude picture of your... Like-

898
00:28:44,382 --> 00:28:45,742
Don't send a, don't send action shots.

899
00:28:45,742 --> 00:28:46,352
You know, it's like...

900
00:28:46,522 --> 00:28:47,222
No.

901
00:28:47,532 --> 00:28:50,542
I get that, that there's a lot
of guys out there who get off to

902
00:28:50,542 --> 00:28:53,942
sharing their, their wife and sharing
pictures and that sort of thing.

903
00:28:54,342 --> 00:28:55,632
That is not for everybody.

904
00:28:55,632 --> 00:28:55,852
No.

905
00:28:56,112 --> 00:28:57,162
And don't assume.

906
00:28:57,242 --> 00:28:59,612
You gotta ask consent on
that, guys, I'm telling you.

907
00:28:59,992 --> 00:29:04,212
Anyways, as we start to wrap up,
really the main takeaway is the

908
00:29:04,212 --> 00:29:06,892
profile's only job is to open the door.

909
00:29:06,992 --> 00:29:07,102
Yeah.

910
00:29:07,102 --> 00:29:08,802
The rest is for you to handle.

911
00:29:09,012 --> 00:29:09,132
Yeah.

912
00:29:09,132 --> 00:29:10,212
What's your personality?

913
00:29:10,212 --> 00:29:11,092
What's the connection?

914
00:29:11,152 --> 00:29:11,992
What are you looking for?

915
00:29:11,992 --> 00:29:12,822
What's the dynamic?

916
00:29:13,302 --> 00:29:16,582
That you can find in other
episodes of Beyond Monogamy.

917
00:29:16,642 --> 00:29:16,792
All right?

918
00:29:16,792 --> 00:29:17,562
Yes.

919
00:29:17,592 --> 00:29:19,632
So that's gonna do it for today's quickie.

920
00:29:19,942 --> 00:29:23,512
Go fix your profile,
seriously, right after this.

921
00:29:23,702 --> 00:29:28,602
And while you're at it, you're already
on there, go to www.beyond-monogamy.com

922
00:29:28,732 --> 00:29:33,492
for all of our episodes, all of our
blogs, the merch, our guest bios, and our

923
00:29:33,492 --> 00:29:35,282
anonymous confessional all right there.

924
00:29:35,282 --> 00:29:35,762
All right

925
00:29:35,792 --> 00:29:35,852
there.

926
00:29:35,852 --> 00:29:38,672
You got something on your mind and you
don't know who to tell, you can tell us.

927
00:29:38,722 --> 00:29:38,792
Yeah.

928
00:29:39,132 --> 00:29:39,992
Drop into the confessional.

929
00:29:39,992 --> 00:29:43,172
It's completely anonymous, and
we may just talk about it on air.

930
00:29:43,302 --> 00:29:44,742
Yeah, as long as you say it's cool.

931
00:29:44,922 --> 00:29:45,082
Yeah.

932
00:29:45,242 --> 00:29:46,582
We'll do a whole show about it.

933
00:29:46,722 --> 00:29:47,862
And baby, where are we gonna be?

934
00:29:48,112 --> 00:29:48,292
Where are we

935
00:29:48,292 --> 00:29:48,782
going?

936
00:29:48,782 --> 00:29:49,322
Oh, man.

937
00:29:49,322 --> 00:29:53,222
Hey, if you're gonna be in the San Antonio
area, or even if you're not, if you're

938
00:29:53,222 --> 00:29:56,222
just gonna be in Texas and you feel like
driving to the San Antonio area- Mm-hmm

939
00:29:56,302 --> 00:30:01,582
... we have an event coming to you on June
20th at Club Eden, San Antonio at 9:00 PM.

940
00:30:01,582 --> 00:30:01,652
Yep.

941
00:30:01,702 --> 00:30:05,392
Details are on the events
tab at beyond-monogamy.com.

942
00:30:05,852 --> 00:30:09,042
Uh, also don't forget, if you
wanna come hang out with us at

943
00:30:09,042 --> 00:30:13,412
that event, you still gotta look
up Club Eden, uh, in San Antonio.

944
00:30:13,442 --> 00:30:15,702
You gotta get on their website,
and you gotta pay for a membership.

945
00:30:15,702 --> 00:30:15,862
That's right.

946
00:30:15,862 --> 00:30:16,182
It is not free.

947
00:30:16,182 --> 00:30:16,762
That's right.

948
00:30:16,832 --> 00:30:18,182
But you gotta come out and scope us out.

949
00:30:18,252 --> 00:30:18,552
That's right.

950
00:30:18,832 --> 00:30:24,232
And if you can't make it out, catch
our stream over at fullswapradio.com.

951
00:30:24,732 --> 00:30:24,952
Wait.

952
00:30:25,232 --> 00:30:28,992
And if you can't make it out, catch
our stream over at fullswapradio.com.

953
00:30:28,992 --> 00:30:31,642
The Beyond Monogamy is broadcasting
there, so go check it out.

954
00:30:32,042 --> 00:30:32,452
Yes.

955
00:30:32,502 --> 00:30:37,592
And like, subscribe, share the show, leave
us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

956
00:30:37,742 --> 00:30:42,502
Uh, and with that, guys, with all
of our begging being done- ... we

957
00:30:42,502 --> 00:30:45,402
thank you guys for listening,
and we will see you next week.

958
00:30:45,522 --> 00:30:45,902
Bye.

959
00:30:45,932 --> 00:30:46,442
And