How to Build a Swinger & ENM Profile That Actually Gets Results (Stop Scaring People Off)

0:00 All right, y'all. Before we dive in, a quick heads-up This show is raw, real, and definitely not rated PG. We're talking about adult themes, sexual content, and the kinda stuff you probably don't want blasting through your speakers at work or around your kids. So grab some headphones, pour your drink of choice, and get comfy. Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not licensed therapists, counselors, or sex couches. Sex coaches. Sex coaches. Not sex couches. We're just a couple of people sharing our lives, experiences, and sexy adventures in ethical non-monogamy. So with that, pull up a chair and enjoy the show.

0:44 Hello, and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And on today's quickie, we're talking about how to make your swinger and ENM profile actually attractive to other people, because, babe, we've seen some profiles out there- Oh, yeah that we have both been like, "Are these real people?" Yeah. We've, we've definitely seen some profiles. Some of these people are out there wondering why nobody's messaging them, and I'm like, "Bro, your cover photo is a ceiling fan." Or the opposite. It's way too much, too fast, and we don't even know your name yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I would really like to know your name before I've seen your vaginal cavity. Yes. Uh, but we're gonna fix all that today.

1:25 But first, if you're getting anything out of this show, do us a favor, like it, subscribe, share it with somebody in the lifestyle who needs to hear this. Leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcast, 'cause that helps us with the algorithm, helps people find us. Mm-hmm. And it means the world to us, frankly. Yes. And you know what? We might even send you some merch. My goodness. Mm-hmm. We have it. We do. Yeah. Go check out www.beyond-monogamy.com. All our episodes, our video clips, our guest bios, our blog, our merch, events tab, and our 100% anonymous- confessional. Yes If you've got something on your chest, it's all there. All righty, guys.

2:05 Profiles. Profiles. Yes. Absolutely. Because we don't wanna see ceiling fans, guys. No, no, no. Let's, let's, let's jump into the deep end. Yes. Let's talk photos. Oh, let's talk photos. So, the no face pics or those blurry mirror selfies, mm. They're not the greatest. Mm. Now, here's the problem with them. And so I, I understand the- Privacy ... no face pics. I understand the, the, the privacy, the discretion. You know, there's a lot of people who wanna get on these apps or they wanna get on these websites, and they don't wanna show their faces. Let me tell you something. When I'm going through the apps or when I'm going through the, the, the websites, if I don't see your face- X I don't stop.

2:49 Yeah. If I don't see your face on a friend request, I won't stop unless I know for sure that we've met you. Yeah. Um- Yeah ... but... So a- and so that's really difficult. Now, if you're... Say we're d- w- say we're discreet. Okay. Okay? Uh, we're just jumping in as, as a newbie couple. Yeah. And we know that we cannot get caught because if we get caught, I work for a religious guy, he's gonna cut me off. That's it. Yeah. So- I understand that ... what would we do in that situation? So there's ways around this, people. Um, if we're talking about a Facebook group, okay? You're part of a Facebook group. Your profile is two emoji heads over your bodies.

3:29 Yeah. Totally understand that. Once you post that, say you're doing an introduction, you can post your picture, your actual picture in the comments. Yeah. Like, I've seen people, and actually this just happened. These, um, this couple had the pictures and it was, like, an emoji head, or not even their, like, their body, or just their bodies and, like, no, no head. Mm-hmm. Um, wonderful, but they're asking for friends. So, like, they wanted to hook up or find people they could hang out with, and the people in the comments, including myself, said, "Well, I mean, we don't even know if you're a real person," because some of these- Yeah groups don't vet.

4:11 Right, right. Um, and so you're in there. Mm-hmm. I was like, "I don't even know if you're a real person," and she's like, "Well, I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure, um, that you're, you know, that we're real private." Understand, you're in a group. You're already in an ENM group. Like- If somebody that you know is gonna see you there, it's... They're in there. Yeah. These groups are private. Yeah. Well, you know, so a lot of these newer apps, like 3Fun, for example. Yeah. Um, you know, they'll give you, as, as the person who's starting up a profile, they give you an opportunity to have a whole separate album- Mm-hmm ... that you can release, or, or separate pictures- Mm-hmm that you can release to people if they request, if you wanna release it to them.

4:56 Right. And some people will put explicit photos in there. Some people will just put pictures of their face. Mm-hmm. And they're like, uh, "Oh, you know, if you, if you like us and we like you, here, let me share this. This is what we look like." Yeah, yeah. Uh, you know, things like that, okay, understandable. Um, but if you're trying to be discreet on, uh, an app like 3Fun or- Yeah ... SDC, understand that it, it is a swinger app. It is. It, it, it's... So if you're afraid of somebody finding you on the swinger app, whoever's gonna find you was also on a swinger app. Exactly. Uh, so I... You know, and I'm sure, yeah, so anybody can, can take screenshots and send it off. Mm-hmm. Whatever, but you know what? That can happen with anything.

5:37 Yeah. You know? It really can. So, like, a, a picture. You know, you can still say... Your profile can still say, still say, or still be with your little emoji heads or whatever, right? Yeah. Picture of your cat. But somewhere you need to have a picture of yourself. You need to be able to start with that. Or at least put in the profile- Now... Yes ... you can say a, a, a picture- Picture upon request ... face picture upon request. Yeah. You know, that sort of thing. Um, now of what I get a lot, this is what I get a lot of. I get a lot of just people like that, and then they send me a picture immediately, and it's of their privates. Oh, yeah. Explicit content. Nobody wants that.

6:17 I don't want that. I don't want pictures of your wife. I don't want pictures of you. I... If I wanna get to know you, I want you. Um, I wanna see your face, not... And I literally always have to say, "Send me a picture of yourself, not naked. I need you clothed." Now, you know, I will say that that really, it can work for certain people because there are women- Oh, yeah ... out there who will do a picture, a profile picture of just their cleavage, and when that happens, uh, it, it stops you. It stops people. I know. But I mean, still- It's like, oh, look at that. That's nice cleavage. But there's no face attached. Yeah. Now, I will say I will stop to look at the cleavage. Butter face. But then if I don't see a face pic, I, I've learned... And the only reason why I do this now, I've learned the hard way.

7:01 I've been burned- Yeah ... before. Yeah. Uh, where I'll, I'll like a picture solely because I'm scoping out their bodies because- Yeah ... their faces are, are, are covered. And then we'll start talking, and then we'll meet, and it's like, "Oh, no. I'm not attracted." I can tell- "Not attracted" ... a fake profile So quickly I don't know. Why would you wanna, why would you wanna cheat somebody into liking you? Oh my gosh. Or cheat somebody into, to- It's Catfish Like, what's the point? There's a whole show on it. But I don't understand the point of it, though. To see how far you can get. That's, that's for another show. That's something else. Yeah. That's for another show. But either way, I mean, l- let's, let's be real here. If, if you don't, if you're not showing your face on your pictures, uh, it's not... Like I said, it's understandable.

7:43 Yeah. But there are going to be some issues that come with it. You're not gonna be out there. Y- you're gonna have, you're gonna have to sit back and go, "Okay, well, I understand why we're not getting as many hits." Yeah. I was telling Pris before we got started with the show, this is like fishing. Yes. If you ain't got no bait and you just throw a hook out there, you're not gonna catch anything. No. Um, we live in a time where everything is online, everything is through apps. Uh, yes, you can meet up with people at events and things like that, but you gotta get into the community first- Yes in order to do that. Yeah. But a lot of people who haven't been accepted into the community or haven't been involved in the community, they just wanna start with an app, and that's understandably so.

8:26 Mm-hmm. That's what we did, too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. If, if you don't, if you don't put the right stuff out there, nobody's gonna stop you. No. Nobody's gonna be like, "Hey, let's talk." I... If I can't, like, especially for me, like, if I can't see the person on ThreeFun, I'm X, X. Like, I'm not even gonna look. If you have just shady pictures or if it's- Oh, yeah not of you. If it's not of you, I'm like, "Mm, no." I have to see what you look like. Like, it's just, you know. And I wanna see happiness. Happy couples- Oh, man. Yeah ... attract happy couples. Yeah. So you gotta show yourself, guys. You gotta enjoy life and each other, but show your face. Like, if you... And especially, like, friend requests, I will not accept a friend request if I don't...

9:09 Like, I'll send them to you and be like, "Do we know this person?" Yeah. And we have people just so, like, "Oh, I'm so-and-so." And I'm like, "Oh, look, that's what you look like. I thought you looked like..." We actually had somebody come up to us and be like, um... oh, yeah. Her face was... What's a picture? It's a picture of something. Thought it was, like, a cat or so- Yeah ... I don't know. It's like a cartoon. And she's... Yeah, she's like, "I'm not a cartoon cat." And I was like, "Oh, that's, that's that's who you are." Yeah. Yeah, so it's, um... I get the discretion, but at some point you have to break away from that because whoever sees you on there is already on there. Well, so I will say when we were, when we were discreet and the pictures that I would put- Yeah ... usually I would cut it off from the eyes up.

9:52 Hmm. So I know a lot of people that cut off their photos from the neck up- From the neck up or even from the chin up. Yeah. I would do it from, like, the l- the, the bottom part of the eyes up i- is where I would cut it off. Because you can see a lot from the eyes below. Yeah. And, and, but it's also discreet enough. Plus I have devo eyes. Hey, you never know. If I have devo, I was like, " Ugh." Oh my gosh. Sorry, guys. Yeah. Um, yeah, like, I don't know. And your profile, so that's, that's the pictures, right? Now let- I mean, this is, so this is where we live at right now- Yeah ... is that pictures make a person stop- Yes ... and go, "Okay, let me- Now- ... read the bio" ... do you read the bio? So I do, actually.

10:32 I do too. I know a lot of people that don't, and that's the disappointing thing is, uh, you know, when you've been on these, these damn apps- Mm-hmm and the websites, you realize there's, there's a lot of people that do not read the bio. Um- Let me tell you what I don't like. What's that? I don't like when we're on, like, the, on 3Fun, and I'm going through bios and it says, like, single woman, and then you go through the pictures and there's a man. Oh, yeah. Are you... Y- Just, right there you're just trying to fish. You're trying to find somebody, and you're not being true. Yeah. Um- That's true. Yeah ... again, those are like pictures. If I don't see your face, I'm not into it. But, and if I look into the bio and I really try to read every single piece of it, like, I love an ex- very expanded bio.

11:17 I wanna know- And some people really put their, their whole- Yeah. Like- ... uh, everything that you need to know ... I feel like your age needs to be on there, your s- sexual- your gender. Yeah. Um- Let your personality show in it, really ... let your per- yes. Uh, I've, I've seen people, they'll, they'll joke. They'll make little jokes in there- Yeah if that's part of their personality. They talk about how they like animes. 'Cause, you know, let me tell you, anime people love other anime people. Yes. And so right off the bat. Or, or D&D, you know- Yeah ... Dungeons and Dragons, things like that. Like, they'll put their interests in there because it's easy to connect with somebody- Yeah if they see your interests. Mm-hmm. You know? Um, your age, your interests, your sexual, your gender, and your s- what is it?

12:01 What is it called? Sexual label? Like, what is that called? Like, what you're into. Your dynamic. Your dynamic. Yeah. Um, and then get detailed. Like, I had to change mine- Yeah ... because I put on mine, um, yes, I'm married, but we- You like for me to be, like to go out. Like I lo- Yeah, I like the hot life ... I like to go out with couples- King ... and I love to go out by myself. I love to go out with couples and have a date night, and then go have fun. Um, it's a very rare occasion that it happens, but I fix it on my bio. Like that- Yeah ... it says that. Um, my husband does have to meet you. It's good to put some of your, your- Put your dynamic ... boundaries on there as well. Yeah. You know? Because let's face facts, you don't wanna waste anybody's time and you don't want anybody wasting your time.

12:46 Um, and so the more you put in your bio, the more that people can get to see you and go, "Okay, you know what? Yeah, I can't see their eyes in their picture, but you know what, what it says in the bio- Yeah ... kinda catches my attention. Oh, my God. I think I'm gonna go ahead and swipe right on this one," you know? Read the bio, because if you come at them on their messages and be like, "Hi, what are y'all into?" Oh, my God, that is the most rudest thing. Like, I put everything you wanted to know in my bio. Oh, yeah, you do. But you know what? Here's my problem. Let's have a conversation. There's a lot of people out there who complain that they're not getting any bites on their, on their, uh, app. And then you look at their profile and it just says, "Ask me whatever you wanna know."

13:26 Yeah, mine does not say that. Or, "Whatever you wanna know, just ask." Yeah. And that's so frigging lazy, man. Yeah. That's so lazy. Yeah. I mean, uh, why? I- Why can't you just take the time, couple minutes- Yeah ... and put a little bit about yourself in there? Yeah. Of course you're not gonna get hit. No. You're not gonna get hit up- No 'cause you're, you're being lazy about it. Yes. Now, the other, the other end of it is, you know, the wall of hard nos. I mean, that's a conversation that you- Mm ... can have with anybody. But yeah, it's okay to put your boundaries in there, but let's not put a whole profile of, "I don't do this, I don't do that, I don't like this, I don't like that." Like- Yeah ... bro, I will keep on moving. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, a little bit, sh- let a little bit of what, who you are shine in that.

14:07 Like, let it, let it be like what you, what you enjoy doing. You know? If you like certain foods or if you're really into anime, if you're really into music- Yeah ... um, if you like going dancing. Like, let a little bit of you show up in your bio and your profile so that people can know, okay, you know, like for me, I don't like hunting. If you go hunting and you're like, "Oh, I love going hunting," eh, that's a hard no for me. Um, that's my preference, right? So you'd swipe left on somebody who's a hunter? Yeah. Yeah. Um, that's just me. That's a me thing. Little animals, but what you do is fine. Um... You know, I, I'll say when I'm, when I'm swiping through- Yeah Obviously, the picture first and foremost will stop me Mm-hmm Uh, and that's the idea on a lot of these apps- Yeah ... is the picture that will catch your attention.

14:58 Yeah. If somebody catches my attention real quick, then I'll immediately go to their bio. Like I said, if it says, "Ask me," or, "Give me a question," or whatever, like I, I'm done. I move, I move on. Yeah. Uh, I will read it through, though, and see if there's anything that catches my attention in the profile that I can say, "Oh, I, I get that," or, "I connect with that." Yeah. Like I... Because the bottom line is sex is best if you can connect with somebody. Yes. Not, not a one-night stand. Yes. And most of these people on these apps are not looking for one-night stands. No. So put your connection out there- Mm-hmm ... via your profile. Mm-hmm. Talk about who you are, what you're looking for, and w- what makes you fun to be around, you know?

15:40 Authenticity. Hold on, hold on. We need to tell you guys about 3Fun first. Oh, yeah. Okay, so 3Fun is the app. You guys know the app. And if you don't know, it's for couples and singles who wanna connect with like-minded people. And it actually works. Like, we're not just saying that. It's easy. It's low pressure, and it's way less awkward than trying to figure out on your own. Way less. We're gonna leave it at that. Yep. Download 3Fun. The link is in the show notes. Okay. Where were we? Huh. Oh, be authentic. Be authentic. 100%, yeah. Like mine looked exactly like Adam's. Like it was a b- we both got the same bio, and we just pasted it on mine and, you know.

16:23 Well, so f- you did that for years. Yeah, and so this one is very different. This specifically tells you what I want. I think I'm gonna go back in there because I am not into bi-situational. I am not the bi-situational person. I've said this many, many, many times. Yeah. If your profile says bi-situational, I'm exiting. I am not that person. Um, now if you say I'm s- it, it has to be... I've noticed that it has to be said a certain way. Oh yeah? Yeah, so like if a woman says, "I'm interest- I'm straight, but I am interested in possibly try- you know, seeing if I like women," but if you put bi-situational, that screams to me, "Oh, I have to be in the mood.

17:07 Oh, I have to be intoxicated." It might not be your situation, but that word to me says that. You know, I know a lot of people that are in the, uh, kink community, and there's, there's that, uh, that kink test- Yes ... that people often do. Yeah. And it shows what different levels of kink that you're in- Of kink that they're in different percentages and stuff. Yeah. There's a lot of people that include that in their profile, not, not in their profile pics, but in the pictures along with their- Yeah ... profile pic so that people can swipe through it and they see, oh, okay, they, they're into being bratty. Okay, well I'm looking for a brat or whatever, you know? Yeah. It kinda gives you an idea. It's a, it's, it's the best kind of communication for what you're doing. Yeah.

17:47 Uh, because oftentimes a lot of these apps, you can't just randomly message somebody unless you have both liked each other. You know what I mean? Yeah, I just opened up ThreeFun 'cause I was gonna read some of the, like the profiles and whatever. Yeah, I got a lot of likes. Wow. Yeah. It's 'cause I changed it. And, and you know, like I said, if you're, if you're going to put a picture on there and you don't mind that your face is showing- Mm-hmm ... which is great. Mm-hmm. Um, there are a couple of- things that you can do to better- Yes ... your photo. So don't just put, uh, you know- Don't put an emoji face, guys Well, I mean, i- if, if you're gonna show your actual face- Yeah ... um, put on a good picture.

18:30 You know? And I know that it sounds silly, it sounds silly, but, uh, we've seen a lot of profile pictures where th- they could have done a better job- Yeah, so- ... putting something more flattering. Yeah, like- Um- ... we get it, authenticity. Like, be yourself. Yeah. But don't be yourself after you rolled out of the bed and haven't done anything. You're just like, "I'm about to start my... I'm gonna create my ThreeFun profile." Click. Yeah. I mean, I s- ... I saw one where, uh, a guy was sitting on a park bench and, and he was, like, surrounded with McDonald's, and he just looked unhappy and sweaty, and that was the main profile picture. Oh, wow. And I was like, "Oh, man, that's not gonna..." I mean, unless that catches somebody for a kink, you know, or something like that.

19:17 But it, it just didn't look happy. Yeah, like- And it's like, dude, smile. Yeah. Like, it's okay to smile. Yeah. Uh, you know, stuff like that. I mean- And that's your first impression That's, exactly. That's your first impression. That is your first impression. That's, that's- Like, that's the first thing ... Uh, like I said, it's, it's like fishing without the right bait. Yeah. You know, you're not gonna, you're not gonna catch anything. Yeah. You know? Uh, s- also, open to anything- No ... tells people nothing. That is n- that is too vague. Don't be vague. Don't be vague. Don't be vague. It's not sexy. Just put the time forth. Yes. You know? Yeah. Just put the, put the time forth. Yeah. Um, people are going to find something and they're gonna be like, "Oh, are you open to that? You said you were."

19:58 Yeah. " You said you were open to it," and it's like, oh. And then you're gonna turn it down, you know? It's like, oh. Yeah, yeah. Well, this is what you said in your profile. Yeah. You know? Uh, specificity signals self-awareness, which is genuinely attractive in this community. Yes. It is very, very, very. Pre-filtering the wrong fits saves everyone time and awkward conversations. Yeah. Like- Yeah ... know what you want. Now, I, I have seen, uh, profiles, I've met up with people, and you, you see their profile and they look one way. Ah. And then you meet them and it's like, when was the last time you updated your profile picture? Um, how often do you update your profile picture?

20:38 So look, I'll be very honest with you. Yeah. I do not use filters on- Yeah ... any of my pictures. Yeah. Um, like, I don't do the lashes, like the fake, like I don't do those filters. I will change, like, the colors- Okay ... just because sometimes my lighting, I'm at work or something. Yeah, yeah. Um, but I don't... My pictures are me. Yeah. Like, I don't really change them often unless I know that, oh, you d- you took a really good picture of me. Yeah. Or I took a really good picture of myself. Then I'll change it, 'cause I'll be like, oh, this is fun. Um, I mean, I maybe change it- I don't know, every three months maybe. Yeah But what you get, what you see is what you get. Is, is re- Like- Yeah, what you see on our profile pictures- Yeah, like- ... are usually relatively, uh, recent The wrinklies.

21:23 Yeah. Wrinklies, the dark, dark circles under my eyes. That's all real. Yeah. Don't, don't use a Snapchat filter. I- Oh ... although I will tell you, I will tell you, so- So I'm gonna tell a story once you're done with that ... I, I kinda, I, you know, you see a- No ... a girl with a picture and she's got, like, a puppy dog, and she's doing the puppy dog filter. Yes. Okay. So normally my answer would be no to that, but there's something about seeing these girls with the puppy dog filters. Like, I know that most of the time that the women that take pictures with the puppy dog filters, I don't know, I've, I've run into a lot of them, and a lot of them have been pretty easy and kinda dirty in a, in a sexual way. Yeah. Um, and that- And I kinda like that ... I was gonna say that because I was gonna say, really?

22:06 I kinda like that. We... Really? Are you not on my side anymore? We used- I'm totally on your side ... we used to make- I'm just... No, no, no ... really- I'm on your side 100%. I'm on your side. So- Jesus. I'm on your side. Damn it. So we, when we were poly- I'm just like, " What's gonna happen?" That's fucking right. Adam's, all the girls, I'd be like, "What does she look like?" And he would flip the phone to me so I could see. Yeah. And it would be this girl with the puppy dog little thing and the little tongue hanging out. I'm like, "Is she an animal or is she a person?" Like, ladies, ladies. Uh, okay, fine. You need to have the little lash filter on, fine. Uh, you know, that one drives me nuts, honestly. But take a picture of yourself in really good lighting. It doesn't take much. All of you are beautiful.

22:47 Go outside, get some good lighting when the, you know, the sun is out or you just did your makeup. Put a good profile picture on. Now, we're not saying you have to look like this every moment, but it's deceiving if you are taking a picture and it's all filtered, and then they see you and it's like, okay, you... That's not what you look like. Like, it's not cool. Um, I feel f- I know a lot of people are very sel- or insecure. Self-conscious. Full... Yeah. Yeah. Self, full body pictures are a big help because people wanna know what you look like. If I think that you're, you know... If you lost a lot of weight or if you gained a lot of weight, you need to kind of have a picture of, up-to-date picture.

23:35 I mean- It doesn't hurt. You know, I will say this. There's a lot of people out there, it's like you said, there, there are a lot of them are, are insecure, they're self-conscious. Of course. I am. Let me tell you something, okay? There is a pot for every lid out there Yes ... and you, even though you don't think so- Yes ... you're attractive. Yes. You're a good-looking person to somebody. Yes. Maybe not everybody- Exactly ... but to somebody out there in this lifestyle, somebody's gonna find your picture, and they're gonna stop, and they're gonna go, "Oh, okay." And then they're gonna scroll to your profile, and then they're gonna see Ask Us, and they're gonna be like, "Fuck this." You know what I'm saying? Like, you are attractive. You have to believe it, and if you don't believe it, at least put yourself out there- Yeah ... and see what happens. Yes.

24:15 Uh, because when you deceive in a way where you use heavy filters or, you know- It is that. It is deceitful. It is deceitful, unfortunately. It's catfishing. Like- Um, a- and, and you know, at some point if you... Are you serious about meeting up with them? Yes. Because what are you gonna do? You gonna trick them into sleeping with you? Yeah, yeah. Come on, man. You know, you don't wanna do that. You wanna be forward. You wanna be upfront. Yeah. You wanna be like, "Hey, you know what? This is me." Mm-hmm. " Take it or leave it." Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Um, that's for women. Men, I'ma give you a little bit of advice. I like a good picture of the man, so that means head to toe, and I wanna know how... Your height. Sorry, that's a me thing.

24:55 I wanna know you're at least taller than me or my height. And it has to be, you have to be well-groomed. So, you know, once a month you go get your hair cut. You're about to go out with your friends, whatever, take a good picture and post it. I don't want a picture of you with your homies drinking. I don't want a picture of you sweating. I don't want a picture of you, you know, coming out of your work truck. I want a good picture knowing what I'm gonna see when we go out. Yeah, I've seen, uh, pictures of guys wearing hard hats and- No, mm-mm ... uh, things like that. I'm glad that you work. I'm glad that you work. So yeah. Yeah. So the hard hat thing, no, that's not, um, that's not gonna work for me.

25:37 I'm glad that you work. I'm glad that you're employed. I appreciate that. Um, but no, I, I want a well-groomed looking picture. Uh- And keep it up to date. And guys, uh, guys and girls, don't, don't have every single picture revolve around you drinking an alcoholic beverage. That's cool that you wanna drink. It's all right. A- ain't no problems there. We get it. Most people do. No. But every single picture? No. Come on. I wanna know normal setting what you look like. Like- Yeah ... take some time. If you really want this to work, take your time. I am not the only picky woman in this world. Yeah.

26:17 There's a lot of them. There are a lot of selective women. They wanna know that you're gonna look good. Um, our pictures are very, very true. Well, so- 3Fun, for example, uh, I mentioned 3Fun. What I like about 3Fun is that you can, uh, have... Like, I have a profile for me. Mm-hmm. And you have a profile for you. Mm-hmm. And we're connected. And we're connected. So when you go to my profile, you see that we're a couple, and you can actually click on her profile- Mm-hmm and you can see her profile. Mm-hmm. Uh, and vice versa. And with that, I put pi- you know, I have a, a... The first picture on my profile is of me.

26:59 Same. And this, because it's my profile. Yeah. So it's of me, but we're a couple. So m- first picture- I think we had it, our, our couple picture, right? We had a couple pic- So we have a couple picture in there. Yeah. So the first picture is of me. Mm-hmm. The second picture is, I, I normally try to throw in a full body picture of some sort in there. Um, and then I make sure to throw in a picture of us together. Yeah. Because my profile specifically is not ju- you know, it's, it's for us as a couple, and it's also for, uh, you know, me as a friends with benefits- Mm-hmm dynamic as well. So, you know, you're, you're not only looking at me, but you're looking at the couple if that's something that's interesting you. Yeah. Uh, there's a lot of people that put out pictures of just the woman, and they say that they're a couple.

27:44 Oh my God. Where's- That drives me nuts ... where's the guy? Yeah. Where's the guy? Yeah. You know? If I don't see your man in there, mm-mm. I understand that it's a, it's a woman-centric lifestyle, but if you're just gonna have the picture of the woman and you're not gonna put the picture of the guy, doesn't matter how hot the woman is- Mm-hmm ... there's gonna be a lot of us that are gonna pass up on it- Yes because hey, you know, the woman, the woman wants to know what, what they're dealing with too. I do. You know? I do. Yeah. Yeah. So that's, that's definitely a big one. That's definitely a big one. Um, no unsolici- solid pictures. What was that word? If you say, uh, no unsolicited explicit openers. No unsolicited explicit- Explicit openers. Openers. In other words, don't, uh, just message a picture of your dick.

28:26 No. And let me tell you something. I will block you. It doesn't matter what size your dick is. No. It doesn't matter what it looks like in the picture. That's not gonna win a woman over. And do not send me a picture of your lady. Oh, that's the worst That's the worst. Like, I am- That's the worst ... I am so- Don't send a nude picture of your lady Don't send a nude picture of your... Like- Don't send a, don't send action shots. You know, it's like... No. I get that, that there's a lot of guys out there who get off to sharing their, their wife and sharing pictures and that sort of thing. That is not for everybody. No. And don't assume. You gotta ask consent on that, guys, I'm telling you. Anyways, as we start to wrap up, really the main takeaway is the profile's only job is to open the door.

29:06 Yeah. The rest is for you to handle. Yeah. What's your personality? What's the connection? What are you looking for? What's the dynamic? That you can find in other episodes of Beyond Monogamy. All right? Yes. So that's gonna do it for today's quickie. Go fix your profile, seriously, right after this. And while you're at it, you're already on there, go to www.beyond-monogamy.com for all of our episodes, all of our blogs, the merch, our guest bios, and our anonymous confessional all right there. All right there. You got something on your mind and you don't know who to tell, you can tell us. Yeah. Drop into the confessional. It's completely anonymous, and we may just talk about it on air. Yeah, as long as you say it's cool. Yeah. We'll do a whole show about it. And baby, where are we gonna be?

29:48 Where are we going? Oh, man. Hey, if you're gonna be in the San Antonio area, or even if you're not, if you're just gonna be in Texas and you feel like driving to the San Antonio area- Mm-hmm ... we have an event coming to you on June 20th at Club Eden, San Antonio at 9:00 PM. Yep. Details are on the events tab at beyond-monogamy.com. Uh, also don't forget, if you wanna come hang out with us at that event, you still gotta look up Club Eden, uh, in San Antonio. You gotta get on their website, and you gotta pay for a membership. That's right. It is not free. That's right. But you gotta come out and scope us out. That's right. And if you can't make it out, catch our stream over at fullswapradio.com. Wait. And if you can't make it out, catch our stream over at fullswapradio.com.

30:28 The Beyond Monogamy is broadcasting there, so go check it out. Yes. And like, subscribe, share the show, leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Uh, and with that, guys, with all of our begging being done- ... we thank you guys for listening, and we will see you next week. Bye. And