How to Build a Swinger & ENM Profile That Actually Gets Results (Stop Scaring People Off)
How to Build a Swinger & ENM Profile That Actually Gets Results
If you're on a swinger or ENM app and wondering why nobody's swiping on you, Adam and Pris from Beyond Monogamy have news for you: your profile might be the problem. In this Quickie episode, they walk through every element of building a lifestyle profile that actually makes people stop, look, and reach out — from photos to bios to what you should never do in an opener.
The #1 Rule: Show Your Face (Yes, Really)
The single biggest mistake lifestyle newcomers make is hiding their face entirely. Adam is blunt about it: if there's no face, he doesn't stop scrolling. Pris won't accept a friend request without one. The privacy concern is understandable — but consider this: whoever sees you on a swinger app is also on a swinger app. You're already in the same boat.
If discretion is non-negotiable, there are workarounds. Crop from the forehead up. Use a private photo album that you release only when you're ready. Note "face pic upon request" in your bio. But a ceiling fan? A cartoon cat? A blurry mirror selfie? That's fishing without bait.
Photos That Actually Work
Your photos are your first impression. Adam and Pris break down what works and what tanks a profile:
- DO: Show your face in good lighting. Smile. Put a full-body shot in there. Include a couple's photo if you're partnered.
- DON'T: Use heavy filters that don't look like you. Post every photo with a drink in your hand. Lead with explicit content. Send unsolicited nude photos as an opener — ever.
- FOR COUPLES: Both of you need to appear in the profile. Showing only the woman and hiding the man is a red flag for everyone — including the women you're trying to connect with.
As Pris puts it: what you see should be what you get. Catfishing your way into a meetup helps nobody.
Your Bio Is Doing Heavy Lifting — Let It
A great photo gets someone to stop. A great bio gets them to reach out. And "ask me whatever you wanna know" is not a great bio — it's lazy, and people will keep scrolling.
Your bio should include:
- Your age, gender identity, and relationship dynamic
- Your actual interests — anime, D&D, dancing, food — whatever you genuinely love
- Your boundaries and what you're looking for — pre-filtering the wrong fits saves everyone time and awkward conversations
- Your personality — if you're funny, be funny. If you're direct, be direct. Authenticity is attractive.
Specificity signals self-awareness. Saying "open to anything" tells people nothing and invites conversations you don't want to have. Write the bio like you actually want to meet someone.
The Wall of Hard Nos
Boundaries are important — but a profile that's nothing but a list of things you refuse to do is a mood killer. Lead with who you are and what you enjoy. Let your personality show first, then mention your limits clearly and move on.
Using Apps Like 3Fun to Your Advantage
Adam and Pris are fans of 3Fun — one of the more thoughtfully designed apps for couples and singles in the lifestyle. It lets couples link their individual profiles, allows private photo albums that you control, and makes the whole experience lower-pressure than starting from scratch. If you're going to invest time in building a good profile, putting it on the right platform matters.
The Bottom Line
Your profile's only job is to open the door. It can't build connection for you — that's what the actual conversation is for. But a bad profile slams the door before anyone gets a chance to knock. Put in the 20 minutes, update your photos, write a real bio, and see what happens. As Adam says: there is a lid for every pot. But you've gotta put yourself out there.
📅 Upcoming Event
Adam & Pris will be at Club Eden in San Antonio, TX on June 20th at 9:00 PM. Membership required — check Club Eden's website to register. Details on the Events tab at beyond-monogamy.com.
📻 About Beyond Monogamy
Beyond Monogamy is a podcast hosted by Adam and Pris — a real couple sharing their lives, experiences, and adventures in ethical non-monogamy. New episodes weekly. Find everything at www.beyond-monogamy.com — episodes, blogs, merch, guest bios, and the anonymous confessional.
Also streaming live at fullswapradio.com.
Co-host
Adam is the bald, bearded, caffeine-fueled voice behind Beyond Monogamy — a guy who never expected to become a spokesperson for ethical non-monogamy… but here we are. After more than a decade navigating the lifestyle with his wife and co-host Pris, he’s learned a ton about communication, boundaries, jealousy (yep, he has it too), and what it really takes to build a relationship that feels like home and adventure at the same time.
Whether he’s diving into deep relationship conversations, calling out the myths the lifestyle loves to cling to, or just hyping up couples to choose their joy unapologetically, Adam brings honesty, humor, and tattoo-level commitment to every episode. If you’ve ever thought, “Is it just us?”, he’s the guy handing you a coffee and saying, “Nah — welcome to the club.”
Beyond Monogamy is his way of making sure nobody has to explore this world alone. Because love gets bigger when community gets louder.
📍 Based in Texas
☕ Early-morning gym rat
🎙 Podcast host, connection-builder, lifestyle storyteller
💭 Motto: “We don’t break rules — we make better ones.”
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