Single Fellas in the Lifestyle: Are Single Men Really Ruining the Swinging Scene?

0:07 Alright y'all, before we dive in, a quick heads up. This show is raw, real, and definitely not rated pg. We're talking about adult themes, sexual content, and the kind of stuff you probably don't want blasting through your speakers at work or around your kits. So grab some headphones, pour your drink of choice and get comfy. Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not licensed therapists, counselors, or sex. Couches. Sex coaches. Sex coaches, not sex couches or just a couple of people sharing our lives, experiences and sexy adventures. An ethical non-monogamy.

0:47 So with that, pull up a chair and enjoy the show. And. Hello and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm pris. And, uh, I have to apologize right off the bat, I am struggling with my voice a little bit. I am coming off of, uh, strep. Mm-hmm. So I'm, I'm currently recovering from that. But as you know, we, uh, we don't miss a show 'cause that's what we do. We're here to provide you entertainment and plus it's our therapy. Um, so with that, oh shit. With that, uh, what we talking about, you dunno, but, uh, I figured this was gonna be a, a fun little subject there. One of the first things that we dealt with when we first came into the lifestyle was that I felt had a real negative connotation was the single guy.

1:29 Lifestyle. Oh, yeah. And so that's what we're gonna be talking about. We're gonna be talking about. Yeah. Uh, you know, I've, I've heard a lot of people refer to the single man in the lifestyle as ruining the entire lifestyle. Now we're gonna get into that. But before we do, I have something that's bugging the hell outta me, and I just gotta bring it up. We were just talking about this. I've, I don't know what it is. This is like, it's happened so many times and I don't know why. It's just bugging the hell outta me, but I can't really, yeah. It, I don't know what it is. It's irking me today. Okay. It's irking me today. Okay. I have had a I have a lot of women that contact me. They message me. Yeah. And normally the interaction goes the same as always.

2:10 It's a message. It's, Hey, how are you? The talk is very brief, normally in the beginning, and it's a lot of, Hey, you're, um, you're a good looking guy. And I'm like, Hey, thanks, I appreciate that you're not so bad looking yourself. And then it's like, yeah, yeah, you know, I, I, I've seen you and your wife and blah, blah, blah. And then from there they proceed to constantly talk about how hot my wife is, how beautiful my wife is, how interested they are in you. And, but it, it always comes out as, yeah. I'd love to play with the both of y'all. Are you sure? Are you sure after that five to 10 minute tirade about how my wife is so hot, how she's so beautiful and how she seems so amazing and everything that you hear and see and this and that and all of this, like you went off on how wonderful my wife is.

3:03 You sure you're interested in Me too. Like, are you just using me to get to my wife? Because as soon as that happens, that's all I think, and let me tell you something. Mm-hmm. I lose interest when that happens. Well, very quickly. How can you tell the difference when they're just giving you a compliment into what is into what you think it is? It's not an e it's not even, it's literally, it's nonstop. But how now? Lemme because so it would be, it'd be like you're hot and, you know, and your wife. Yeah. It, it's not Oh, both of y'all are so sexy. Y'all. I've that. Yeah. And I've, I, I've seen that too. I've seen And like where it's like both of y'all are just, yeah. Yeah. I've seen that too. Or people, and some people do that.

3:43 Mm-hmm. But a lot of times, a lot of these women that reach out to me Go about it that way. They'll very briefly say, oh yeah, you're attractive, and then blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, you wife it, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Oh, your wife is b blah blah. And it. Yeah, I know. And you know, I, I agree with it. Your answer. Yeah. Your answers are always like, I'm like, yeah, she's amazing. Yeah. I, I agree. I can't I can't agree more. That's funny because when people contact me that never happens. So I don't get that. No, they tell you how beautiful you, they tell me how be how beautiful I am. Yeah. And then they'll be like, oh, how lucky your husband is. Yeah. And then I always turn it, I'm like, have you seen my man? He's freaking hot. And yeah, we're a good team together.

4:24 'cause I'm a bitch, you know, I like, I'm straight up honest. I bring this up because I, I feel like people's hearts maybe are in the right place. Maybe. Yeah. Um, but there needs to be an understanding here is that that is not the way to get to me, the way to get to her at all. And that's definitely not, you know, if you're coming through me to get to her, that's not gonna work. It's not gonna happen. Matter of fact, it's gonna work even less. Yes. Because. Not only is she not gonna be interested, but now I'm not interested. Yeah, because you just kind of very made it very clear that you're kind of interested in me, but it's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, your wife. Your wife. Yeah. Now I understand that this is a woman centric lifestyle.

5:08 Right? I get that. But if that's the case message her, don't message me. As a matter of fact, I answer women, I answer women's messages. I don't answer men's messages. Yeah. So off. Don't waste my time. Don't waste my time. As far as I'm concerned if you're interested in my wife and you want the both of us go through my wife, I'm easier. I am an easier target. If my wife says, Hey this girl I'm interested and she's interested in both of us. You wanna play? Yeah, sure. That's cool. Yeah. But if you're gonna reach out to me. You're gonna do that whole thing? Well by the time our conversation ends, I feel less than significant.

5:51 Yeah. I feel like I'm the unattractive ogre in this coupling. And you are. And I feel like you're just using me to get to her, in which case I'm completely turned off. Yeah. And you can be honest. Like, you can be honest if you ask Adam, like, how do I get ahold of her? What does she like to talk about? He has a script for you. Yeah. I'm not even lying to you. I've told, I've told men and women how to get ahold of you. Look, here's her cheat codes. This is what you gotta follow. They never listen. You listen. They never listen. They never listen. Yeah. I don't get it. And I'm also, Adam is easier to get ahold of, but. Yeah. If that happens it's gonna be, you turn me off once I know that my husband was like, interested and then you just, all of a sudden, once I see that he's kind of gotten out of the conversation.

6:43 Yeah. That's what I do. He will, it's gone. It's done. I remove myself from once I feel like I am not really wanted, but then you lost me too. 'cause you're not talking to my husband. Once I feel like I'm not really wanted, then I'm kind of, I kind of push that person onto my wife and I'm like, you guys have a good time. Mm-hmm. Enjoy your, enjoy your stay. Mm-hmm. And what I've noticed is too, like we've had separate conversations with the same person as well as a group conversation. And if you don't respond, then they're hitting me up. One. Yeah. It's like, oh, well I'm not getting her attention. Let me hit him up. I don't think that. People think that there's anything wrong with that. Yeah. No, I don't think so. But there is a lot wrong with that because just the same as the whole, oh, well unicorns have feelings and you should treat them like an actual person.

7:30 Guess what? Married men have feelings. I think men, period. Yes. Have as much feelings in the lifestyle as we do. And I feel sometimes they have it harder. And I say this because if you think like me, I think all men are scummy. Yeah. Right. So the way they come at you to really depends on how the way they come. Statue depends on what mood you're in and what vibe they're giving off. But if you're me, they're always giving off a scummy vibe until I get to talk to them a little bit more. Yeah. Um, yeah. And you know, that's a really great segue into what our actual topic is, but I had to get that off my chest because, you know, and I'm talking out there to every single woman who has ever reached out to a guy, a married man Yeah.

8:18 Expressing interest in the wife. Do do yourself a favor, skip that. Go straight to the wife. Like, go straight to the wife. You know, women respect women talking to them anyways. Yes. One-on-one. I do. Don't waste the husband's time. Like, don't be shy. Don't do that. Yeah. You know, I like, I get it that I, I seem nicer and I seem easier to talk to. Mm-hmm. Uh, but don't use me. Yeah. Because the moment I feel like I am less wanted. You lost me, and if you lost me, you lost us. It's just the way it is. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, because we are besties. He'll tell me. Uh, I'll be honest with, I'll be honest with it, but I, it's just, it's obviously, it's happened so many times throughout the years and even recently that I was like, okay, yeah.

9:00 This has gotta be talked about. We're done. It's it, and I mean, I'm sure there's lots of men that get that, I'm sure. Oh, I know that. There's lots of men that get that. I mean, there has to be lots of men. I know there is. You should talk about that in your men's group. I brought, I've made a I'm making a post today is men. Yeah. That has to be like, it's a, it's a pain in the ass. I've Is what it's, I've never been contacted to get ahold of my husband. I mean, I've gotten contacted. Can I talk? Can I message your husband? I'm like, sure. But you never got that message, which is, I've never, Hey, I think you're really pretty, but Oh my God, your husband Yeah. Is the hottest person I have ever met in this lifestyle. Yeah. And oh my gosh, you are so lucky to have him. If a woman messaged you and said, oh my gosh, your husband is so hot. You are so lucky.

9:42 What would you say to that? I'd be like, I agree. Thank you. And that would be the end of it. And that would be the end of it. Because telling people you're so lucky to have that person diminishes their own internal value. Yes. Most of the people, that is one thing he and I have always agreed on. Yeah. When we're dating. Yeah. You know, people think that it's a, it's a fucking compliment. It is not a compliment. No. You telling a sp somebody's spouse, Hey, you are one lucky guy. Yeah. Because she's incredible. Hey, fuck you. It's diff about that when you're telling me, yeah. Oh, he's a lucky guy. That's a different, yeah, that's different. But for you, different, you know, I've been told that by guys. Oh baby, I've been told that by women. I, I know.

10:22 Like, they'll just straight up and they, they think it's a comp, they think it's an innocent compliment. You know what it does? It does. It takes a person who already doesn't think that they are attractive and it makes them feel less attractive and. Maybe there's some guys out there that don't think twice about it, but you know what, this guy thinks twice about it, and I guarantee you I'm not the only one. Yeah. And I hate, I hate to be so, so plain cut and dry about it, but I don't know, I feel kind of spurned about it, you know? I mean, I don't like it. I mean, hey, this is our platform. It's our platform. That's what we have. You can talk about whatever you want. That's right. That's right. But, you know, I think that goes into, uh, into our main topic, uh, which like I said is, is about single guys in the lifestyle.

11:03 Now, you had mentioned that you think that maybe men have it harder in this lifestyle. Yeah. And I feel like, and I've always said this, uh, even though I've never been a single guy in this lifestyle I think single guys have it really difficult In this lifestyle. They do. And, uh, I, I think. I know that from when we first went in Yeah. One, when we first went into the lifestyle, we got, we already had this preconceived notion Yeah. That single guys were shitty. Yeah. We did. Just automatically, we hadn't dealt with any of 'em, but we automatically had this thing in her head that guys are gonna be hitting you up.

11:46 And they're, and they're just, they're just shitty be and primarily because of the vanilla life. Of the vanilla life. Of course. Yeah. A lot of single guys are shitty in, in the vanilla life. Hence why I say that all the time. Yeah. 'cause there's not a whole lot of boundaries that are, that, that are thrown around. Uh, women are less vocal Yeah. In the vanilla lifestyle than in the, in the swinging lifestyle. Yeah. So to me, I, I if you could look back on that time. Because I know that you don't, you don't like men for the most part. You like some, but it, I I don't, so I, before you even answer that, I would like for you to expand on the, on 'cause you don't hate all men.

12:29 That's not, that's not a fair thing to say. Correct. But you definitely don't prefer men for some very particular reasons. What are those reasons? I feel like a lot of men are, they don't listen. Men don't listen. Um, and, and, and women don't either, but I'm saying in this conversation, yeah. Men, a lot of men that I have been with don't listen. Like, I always feel like I'm on guard now. I'm always on guard anyway as a woman, a lifestyle or not lifestyle, regular life or not, I'm always on guard and I feel like men are just. Shy steer. Yeah. Yeah. Like I know. Lifestyle can be transactional and honesty will get you in my pants faster than you not being honest.

13:16 If you were to straight up tell me, Hey Pris, if I already knew you and we were already like, we've met at the club, or we met at a meet and greet, or you've casually messaged me or d you know, something, some kind of already conversation and you'd be like, Hey Pris, are you interested in kind of like playing with me gives you brownie points? Yeah. I'm gonna say yes or no. Right? But either way, that kind of man I know is Anish. Shati man. Scummy. I don't, I feel like so Well, so throughout the years, you, here's, here's what we've dealt with throughout the years as far as single men in the lifestyle. Now I'm not saying, but you said something, I'm not labeling a all the single men, but our experiences that led us to believe that single men were problems.

13:58 Yes. Here's what we've come up with. One of the first experiences that we had with a single man, one guy was messaging my wife nonstop. Mm-hmm. And being very alpha. Mm-hmm. Being very, I can fuck you better than your husband. And when you, when you taste this dick. You're never gonna want to go back to your husband. Oh yeah. Shit like that is disrespectful. And maybe some couples like it, maybe some women like it. That's a very cut, cold type thing. Yeah. That's not my thing. And that's, that's some people's thing. But to assume that and just lead in right out of the gate Sorry bra, but that alpha shit's got to go. Yeah. So we've run into a lot of that. Yes. That has already given that air of label.

14:42 Yeah. Right. Uh, another thing that we run into are guys that try to pretend not to use a condom. They try to be on the sly about things. They try to convince you, oh, well, we don't need to. I can't really use a condom. I'm sorry. Get I'm my dick's already out. I mean, we can already do this, you know? Yeah. Unethical. Mm-hmm. My, my guy unethical. Mm-hmm. Uh, not cool. And that's, those are experiences that we've had. We've had guys from couples that we've talked to. Who have reached out to Pris on the sly. Trying to Getty her to play without me knowing. Mm-hmm. Shyte, uh, shyte.

15:22 And then of course you hear stories about, uh, sexual assault and things like that. In and out of the lifestyle. Exactly. I, most men are stronger than women, so it's, it, it is a thing. I mean, I could take down a guy. I don't care how big you are, but other women can't. Yeah. You know, so I feel like that's why we're always on our on guard. I'm listing all of that. Mm-hmm. And, and understand fellows who are listening. I'm listing all of that because that is what helped us automatically assume That every guy who is single in this lifestyle is like that. One bad apple, or in this case, 10 bad apples, spoiled a bunch and labeled a full group.

16:05 Yeah. Now we know now that is not fair. We know now that does not apply to often to all single men mm-hmm. In the lifestyle. Mm-hmm. As a matter of fact over the years, because that was our experiences early on. Yeah. But over the years, we've noticed that a lot of our problems with men arrive from married men. As opposed to single men. Mm-hmm. I would rather play with a single man than a married man. Now explain to me why, Married men are the slyer ones. They are the ones that want to DM you on the side without their woman knowing, and then all drama breaks loose.

16:47 And I have to really explain to these people that I really don't want your man, so that. Single men know better. Like they, the ones I talk to, know not to cross that line. So I feel like single men J yeah, they just don't get the, they're better at communicating if you tell 'em straight up, like I can tell them straight up, Hey, I don't like to get fingered. Um, when we have sex, like, I don't mind you kissing me. I'm not really a long kisser, like, let me breathe. Don't suck on my tits too hard. Like, I can tell them every single thing I can tell a married guy the same thing and he still won't listen.

17:27 Yeah. There's, there seems to be a, a major dis disconnect when it comes to married men. Yeah. And I, I just. It's not all married men, obviously. No, because you're not like that. I'm not like, you're very, I'm there. I think you have men, but you're a great listener. You have men who are respectful. And you have men who are not respectful. And I think that lumping 'em up into either single or married is the wrong kind of lumping up. You should lump them up between between respectful and disrespectful. Yeah. You know what? I do see a lot of, what's that? I see a lot of single men getting blamed for trying to be the sli of them all. Or like when a couple is like, say you and I Right. We're together. Yeah. And you tell me, Hey, no, you can only, you can't be with any men.

18:11 You can only be with women. Stuff like that. Yeah. I feel like those married men are very insecure about the single guy. You think so? Oh God, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you can have a single woman, but you can't have a single guy. Oh, you can't have, it's like the one penis policy O it's like gimme a break. Yeah. Like seriously, it's, and it's all insecurity. It's, it's all insecurity. One of the things that I love about this lifestyle is watching you with somebody else. And somebody I was talking to somebody about this the other day and they were like, oh, yeah, well, you know, I, I like for everybody to be involved sexually when it's a full swap. Mm-hmm. And I said, yeah, I dig that. Mm-hmm. But there are times where I pull back And I'll just watch.

18:53 Mm-hmm. The three of everybody get down. Because one of the things that I like is watching you be appreciated by everybody else. Yeah. Like, I know what I have. Yeah. I know. If you go back to the beginning of the show, I'm very much aware that I am married to a very beautiful, very hot. Very amazing woman, and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who sees it. And I, I can get off to that actually. Yeah. And so bringing in single guys when it, when it's done correctly Yeah. Bringing in single guys, if they're respectful, Uhhuh and they understand that we are a unit mm-hmm. And there's no breaking us up and, and they show respect to me and they acknowledge me as much as they do my wife, that's golden.

19:33 Um, and we have met several single men who are overly respectful. Oh yeah. Very patient. Yeah. And those guys have always been at the top of our list when it comes to, uh, playing with, with single men. Mm-hmm. Or bringing single men in or even if I if you decide you wanna play by yourself, those are the people that I trust. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Those are the people that I know you will be safe with. Yes. And that's the thing is, as a man in the lifestyle that's the difficulty that we have, is that we have to, we have to give. That feeling of safety to women? Yes. Okay. Oh yeah. And, and whether you're single, whether you're married, it doesn't matter as a man, if you aren't able to provide safe feelings, a safe environment, if they don't feel safe with you mm-hmm.

20:23 They will not even get you close to any kind of sexual contact at all. Mm-hmm. Uh, that's just the way it's now, we don't have that problem with women. I've never had to worry about, oh, is this woman safe? I feel like this woman's very unsafe. I don't feel comfortable here. No it's very, you know, it, it, it's just completely different. Mm-hmm. Those are the, the issues that we have. Women have to worry about men and if they decide they want to be violent or if they decide they're gonna sexually assault someone or whatever, and that is a very real worry. Yeah. But men have to deal with the fact that. We have to prove that we're safe.

21:05 Yeah. And how do you do that? How does somebody prove that they're safe to you? As a couple or as a single person either. Okay. So as a single person, I, I like to meet them with you. Yeah. And I will get a vibe. I'll get a vibe even in conversation. I'll get a vibe And, but outside of vibes, because not everybody's with the vibe. Yeah. What, what are some red flags? Um, and what are some green flags that, that catch your attention, that tell you, okay, I can go this way, or I can go that way? The conversation beforehand. Yeah, the talk. So if the talk is just simple, it's just, if I ask 'em how long they've been in the lifestyle what do they like? Have they been out with other people in the lifestyle? I don't need names, I just wanna know, stuff like that.

21:46 Yeah. If they call themselves a bull. They're out immediately. Huh? If they say, oh, I'm just a bull. Nah, because that's, that's somebody who just wants to plow and yeah. You know, we, I am not a field. So a lot of those men that we listed at the beginning, that gave us this idea of shitty single men in the lifestyle. They've always labeled themselves as bulls. Bulls is not being a bull, is a i, I call it my red flag. If you call yourself a bull, you're my red flag. You are somebody I won't play with and I won't play with you because the sex behind it is just very aggressive, pornographic, fucking not my thing.

22:28 Like I, when I'm with a man, I don't care what man it is when I'm with a man, if my man is nearby, I'm watching him while you're fucking me. I am not paying attention to you. I'm watching you. Yeah. And like they'll be in my face and they'll be like, oh, you like watching him? And I'll be like, Uhhuh. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Like I'm not a, I'm not a passionate woman to have sex with when it comes to having sex with men. Like I can make it fun and I can make it sexy. You put on a good show. I'll say that. I could put on a good show, but I'm not I'm not like, Ooh, get all, nah, I'm not a passionate like, check my face. Nah, not my thing. So Yeah. You know, IIII don't know why I ranted into that. Sorry.

23:09 I don't, I well, I don't understand is, I understand the label of bull when it comes to couple Yeah, that's what it's couples. Yes. Coupled couples look for bulls. Yeah. That's exactly what they're looking for. And hot wife, right? They're not necessarily Yeah. Well, hot wife, not so much. Okay. Because it's hot. Wife can be single. Ben. But bull specifically is providing more of the aggressive Yeah. Humiliation. Yeah. And degradation aspect of it. Yeah. That's what makes the bull. Yeah. The bull is for the couple, the cup holds couple and they're all for it, man. And if you want to take that alpha energy into that bedroom, then by all means they're looking for you.

23:49 Mm-hmm. But that doesn't apply to anywhere else in the lifestyle unless they've told you. Yeah. So really why? Why lead in with that title of bull? I mean, they think, just say you're a single dude. They think, they think it's, I think they, that bull means you have a big dick. Is that what you think? I do Really? 'cause that's whatever I get whenever it's like such a bull. And it's like this big guy. This guy with big, I'll tell you, we've had bulls over. Yeah. Our first one was a bull, has not been the case. Our first one was a bull and he was Willie lump. Lump fast. Yeah. Most of those guys have been all talk. So that's, I mean, so once they say. A bull, they're out. Right. That's one of my red flags. Sure. And if the conversation is really like casual, I am so okay with that, like that has opened up the door.

24:36 Yeah. Because I will make the move when I want it to be sexy. I will make the move if they make move. So in other words, you're saying treat the woman like a person. Yes. And not an object. Don't treat me like I'm just a pussy with extra lips. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. That it's, and so that's, and you know, that's, those are all like my green flags. Like, be super courteous. If you're a courteous person, I'm totally going to be okay with talking to you. If you've got me already in a conversation and you can hold up the conversation. Winning. Yeah. You're winning. If you can make her laugh again, you can make me laugh. Winning. And if you have, I want you to have the utmost respect for my man, because if my man gets a bad vibe from you while we're having a conversation.

25:20 You're out. I will say this. I have any guy who's ever been respectful to you mm-hmm. Has always been respectful to me. Yes. As a matter of fact, it's been very rare that men aren't respectful to me. Yeah. There's been a couple times where a guy has not acknowledged me. It's, it literally in the 15 years that we've been doing this, it's only happened a handful of times. It's very rare. Most men will come up to me first and be chummy with me and then make their way over to you. Mm-hmm. You know, once they know that I'm cool. Yeah. But there are some men mm-hmm. Who they don't know how to talk to other men.

26:00 They feel like it's awkward. Yeah. To go up to a guy and say, Hey your wife is really attractive. Is it okay if I talk to her? I, I, there was a couple that I was with one time and you didn't care for the guy Uhhuh. What was that? Was it just the con because you didn't even wanna talk like it, was it the conversation or so that was a situation where I felt they, well, I mean, it was very obvious they only wanted you. Yeah. And I just, I don't know what it was. I wanna know part of it. Yeah. I wanna know part of it. I, I didn't because you had told me No, the guy the guy I felt was fake.

26:43 How funny. 'cause we all, he was, he was, he turned out to be. And I, I very rarely get vibes, bad vibes from people. I love everybody. Yeah. But the few times that I've gotten bad vibes, I've backed away. Yeah. And I just always had this very fake feeling from him. Like, it was all smiles to your face and then the moment you turn your back, who knows what. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it turned out that, that those were sort of mm-hmm. Correct vibes, but yeah. I just didn't, I had no interest. Okay. And then also it, knowing that they were only interested in you and I wasn't in that piece. Mm-hmm. And I found the woman attractive. It's just a little difficult.

27:23 It made you feel sour. Yeah. Not necessarily sour, but just that. I wanna be a part of that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I wanna enjoy that. Yeah. But I'm obviously not. Yeah. And then of course they want to get to know you. Yeah. And then also I didn't want to stand in your way of getting to know them. Yeah. Because I tend to hijack conversations. Yeah. And so I was really like, nah, you just all of these things I've liked you to have been there to hijack the conversation, but Oh well. Yeah. Well, lesson learned, I guess, for both of us. That's okay. I was just, but yeah, you know, it, it really hasn't come up very often. No. Most of the people, most of the men that I have come across, single or married if they've been respectful to you, they've been respectful to me. And normally if they're respectful to me, they're respectful to you as well.

28:07 Yeah. Uh, and so I really haven't run into it too much. Now I know that things have happened that I'm not supposed to know about because they don't realize that we talk to each other. Mm-hmm. But. She'll get messages from guys. She'll get, told all sorts of stuff. A lot of times though, you get it from both men and women. Yes. It's not just men. No. But we like to label men because that's the easier thing. Yeah. I get 'em from both. I get the, uh, double standards guys. I do get the aggressive sometimes messages from people, you know, but I realized that once I try to vet the ladies, these ladies are mainly not in our group, our community.

28:48 And so when I get messages from that, it's usually a fake account. Yeah. Yeah. I think that a lot of times when you get on like SDC or if you're on a co, uh, like if you're talking to a, a supposed couple on one of these other sites or whatever mm-hmm. Or even a couple's profile, you don't know exactly who you're talking to. If you're talking to the man or to the woman. And even if they say they're the woman, you still don't know. I always think it's the man. You still don't know because I, I mean, I always think it's the man. Yeah. I never like think it's the woman. Oh. And if they sent nothing, if it's a group or thing like that, a a couple and they're like, yeah, look, here's pictures, here's some pictures of me. Ah, lies.

29:30 You are the husband. We've, we've had couples, quote unquote couples from couples profiles reach out to us and talk to us. And we've seen how they've talked and sat back and gone, there's no way that that's a woman. No men talk like that. Mm-hmm. Women don't talk like that. Mm-hmm. We've, different things that have been said, uh, if they lead right into shooting you a, a video of them Yes. Having sex. It's not the woman without any solicitation, like without any question or consent. It's usually the guy. Mm-hmm. And you know, that's the hard part about this whole online experience now is that you really don't know. If you're talking to the actual person.

30:11 Mm-hmm. But I digress because we're, we're legitimately talking about Single men Yeah. In the lifestyle. Yeah. And going back to the single men portion of it, they do have it hard. They have it a lot. And I, I mean, I like single men and, but they do have it hard. And what's even tougher, check this out guys. I, if you haven't been to a club Yeah. And you try to go to a club as a single guy without a door date You're gonna pay out, out the ass if they even let you go. Some nights it's couples and single women only. Mm-hmm. No single men. Mm-hmm. There's house parties out there. No single men or select single men.

30:51 You have to be vetted. And sometimes you gotta pay more. Single men have it rough. And then you pay all this money to get into a club or to get into a party, and there's no guarantee that you're even gonna get late. Dude, it's hard. It is hard for you guys. Like I give y'all problems for still being in the lifestyle. It's a difficult area to kind of maneuver through. Like you, you have to know somebody, like a single person has to know somebody that's in the community to even break through that community. Yeah. And you have to be a person that they like, because if you're a person they don't like, they will tell the community, Nope, very quickly, sorry we brought 'em in. We don't like them very quickly and this is what it's for.

31:32 Yeah. Because we are, we are a big community, but stuff like that flies. It goes fast. It does. You know, it goes through those vs. Real quick, we have. A lot of the groups that we're in the community, groups that we're in on Facebook and things like that don't even let a lot of single guys in there. Mm-hmm. Because they figure these couples, uh, just don't care for a lot of these single guys. Mm-hmm. So why would I let a single guy in? Because they're just gonna message unsolicited, all of these different women. Yeah. Trying to get them on. That's the assumption. Mm-hmm. That's the assumption. That's the assumption. And all it takes is for a single guy to slip out once.

32:13 Just once and you get banned. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I've had single guys talk to me all the time. I've had so many single guys reach out to me and go, you need to have me as a guest on your show. Let me tell you something, single guys, I love you to death. I will never have a single guy on the show, and I'll tell you why. And it's not any disrespect to you. But if I have a single guy on this show, all they're gonna do is most likely talk about their negative experiences. Mm-hmm. Of which I already know. Look, guy, I am on your side. Yeah. If you are respectful and you're a legit good single dude and you operate off of consent and respect mm-hmm. I am advocating for you, bro. So I don't need you to come on and, and spill your negative tea about your different experiences here or there.

32:58 Mm-hmm. You don't need to. I got you. I've seen it. And we have actually been that couple mm-hmm. To push that. That, that ideal, you know, we were there, we were those couples early on, we were like mm-hmm. These single guys. Mm-hmm. Nope. They are, they're shitty. You know what I mean? And it took us going our way through the lifestyle to realize that no, it's, no, It's just a certain type of men. Yes. And not necessarily whether or not they're single or married. Exactly. It's a certain type of man. This is the tough part because Yes, I, I do advocate for respectful single men that does not account for all of the disrespectful single men that are out there.

33:43 Mm-hmm. And they're there. Mm-hmm. I mean, we see 'em come up in, I've recently, I think I saw one of the groups that we're in, where a single guy, single was messaging other women on their own, but he was trying to portray himself as a couple. He came into the group as a single person, but then he would message these women trying to portray himself as a couple. I thought I saw something. Okay. Yeah. And trying to get them hooked in and. It would come about that there was no woman. Anytime they would ask to verify there was no woman, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, why don't lie? Are you gonna, are you gonna trick somebody into having sex with you? That is not fun, guy.

34:24 Like, that's not a good time. You gonna have your inflatable doll. I don't know how women are when it comes to being tricked into laying in bed and then all of a sudden you're in bed with your legs open and the guy's like, oh yeah, by the way, uh, I'm single. I'm not actually married. No, my wife's not in the closet Like I initially said, but hey, my dick's right here at your pussy, so let's just go ahead and have sex. Oh, man, that's not, I, I, I just don't see it. It doesn't make sense to me. Make it doesn't make sense to me. It seems very illogical. Metimes think with their dick and not with their head. Maybe So I, I tell you this though, if I were a single man, I don't know if I'd be in the lifestyle I would date. If I was a single woman, I would definitely be in the lifestyle. Well, it's different, but yeah, it is very, because you're bisexual for one thing.

35:05 And if you're a bisexual man, I could understand being in the lifestyle. Yeah. But if you're a single straight man, what's the point of being in the lifestyle? Can somebody explain that to me? If you can hit me up on one of, one of my avenues and let me know. Yeah, because we've always asked that. Yeah. Like, yeah. I just don't understand it personally. I'm not like as a a woman, you're right. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm sure you have your reasons, but if you're a single guy in the lifestyle and you're not necessarily looking for a relationship, what's the point? Yeah. As a single man, you could have sex with women in the vanilla lifestyle, and you're still gonna have to, is it because maybe you have, you don't have to take 'em out on dates. Is that what it is? Maybe it's a little bit easier to just come straight to it and say, Hey, yeah, I, I just wanna have sex.

35:46 Because that would make sense. That would make sense. But I don't think that I would do it. I don't, yeah, we've talked about that. We're like, why? Yeah. No, they, I mean, because y'all do have it hard. It's, it to me just doesn't seem worth it. Yeah. It seems like a lot of jumping through hoops. Hell, as a married guy in the lifestyle, it's hard trying to pursue my own vaginal feats. I have to really work hard at it. You know what? My vaginal FETs, my vagina goals. Vagina goals. Yeah. No. You know, I, no, because you and I, we, we now play separately.

36:27 We can play separately. Yeah. We can play separately. Yeah. Yeah. With that. If there's somebody that I wanna pursue. Yeah. And this kind of goes back to the very beginning. Oh God. Okay. Hold off people. This goes, goes back to the very beginning because one, make sure you don't, one don't. If you wanna get in his pants, make sure you don't mention how pretty I am. If I reach out to you and I state to you that I am interested. I didn't say we are interested in you. I said I am interested in you. Oh wait, if she's pretty, can I be interested too? Yes, but we're not. Okay. We're not talking about that. Sorry. Don't step on my dick here, babe. Alright. Look, fuck. Block. If I message you and I state that I am interested in you and you come back with your wife's so hot, fuck off man.

37:08 We're done. That's it. That's it. Because I am at this point in my life, in this, when can they say it? In this journey that I can say no. When can they say it? When can they say it? Yeah. After we've had sex. Okay. No, but really, I mean. It's okay to say it. It's it. I actually, I, it's okay to have a, give a compliment. I appreciate the compliment in appreciation of my wife, but when you rave nonstop about it, that's when I'm like, okay, rave about me nonstop. Maybe. I mean, even it up. Aw, I do. But see, that's the thing. You've gotta rave about him. God no. But see, and, and even still like, look at this, check this out. Oh my God. When we're talking to a couple, when we're talking to a couple, obviously I'm a straight man.

37:53 I'm into the woman, right? I am flirting with the woman. I'm complimenting a woman. You know what I also do? I throw compliments to my guys. Yeah. I show them the respect. You know, we're just talking about that. But the guys never bring compliments to me. No. Isn't that weird? Adam will compliment the wife of the couple and the group text, but the husband will never give me a compliment. Several times over. We've had that. I think it's because the wife maybe not, might not like that. I mean, we have, we have couples where they're giving me compliments. Both of them. Yeah. Both of 'em are giving me compliments. Yeah. And you're giving her compliments. Yeah. And you're giving him compliments. I just feel like it should be equal man.

38:35 You know, like if I'm complimenting the woman, if I'm flirting with the woman, I'm not gonna let my guy just sit out there in the cold and feel like, oh, well I'm just over here. Check please. You know what I mean? You have to. ' cause I felt that so many times. Yeah. So I give that respect to the guys. Yeah, you do. You bro it up. Dude, I do bro it up. Like he bros it up. I totally bro it up. I bro it up so much that I've even told guys I've been like, Hey, nice dick. Good for you, pal. He bros it. I bro it up up guys. Yeah. And I am straight as a frigging arrow. Yes he is. But. To me, it's a respectful thing. It's a respectful thing. You know, we have to do a show on bisexual men because y'all, even bisexual men even have it harder in the lifestyle.

39:22 Oh. We've done a show with than a single United by Swingers. We have. Yeah. Guys, go and listen to United By Swingers. They're a great podcast. Great podcast. They're, they're all about the bisexual couple Yes. And the bisexual couple experience. Yes. And especially bisexual men. Yeah. But I feel like people are, uh, men are afraid to compliment other men Yeah. In this lifestyle because they're afraid they're gonna come off as homosexual, which, what? Why is that even a thing? Like who gives a shit? Yeah. I don't understand that. If you give a shit. You should not be in the lifestyle. I've had guys in the lifestyle. Tell me. So you guys want me, I, they're new to the lifestyle, but they'd be like, oh, so you guys want me to join you guys, but I'm not gay.

40:09 No motherfucker. Neither am I. Great. Good for you. I'm not asking you to suck my dick and I'm not asking to suck yours. As a matter of fact, if our dicks can stay as far away as possible, that'd be fine with me. Yeah. I'm not gonna complain at all. It's just about me. That's right. Just about me. It's about her. If we're bringing in a single guy, it's just for me. But that's the mentality. And I, that's the mentality. I've been told that by guys who claim to be bulls. Yep. Well, I'm not gay. I would rather have sex with her in the room and you could just watch by myself and yell. Yeah. And you stay outside the room. You remember that? Yeah. Shit, motherfucker. Nah. Who talking to? He's my protector. I don't think so. No. Uh.

40:49 But that's, you know, like I said, I can go back and forth on this all day long. Yeah. Because I've met so many respectful men. Yeah. Like I have a single friend, we uh, we have a friend and he's a single guy and I love fucking him. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Like we're going out of town and hopefully I get to fuck him. Yeah. Super respectful. Yeah. Yeah. But and now let's, let's the same, let's flip this on its ear a little bit Uhhuh because we're talking about single guys and can we say the exact same thing about single women in the lifestyle? No. Really. Now really hold up because I bet some disrespectful single women on our ends.

41:31 And this is just because I am very vocal. I am a very vocal. Transparent person if you're a single woman that comes into and talking to us. Oh, I am. Yeah. No, no, no. I'm not saying you're not. I'm saying I'm super transparent. Like I will tell you what I don't like, what I like, what you can do, what you can't do. Like I'm straight up. But it depends on the woman, because there are some single women when they come into like the, the relationship or they're just talking to a couple, they wanna be super aggressive and do what I think women don't like for other men to do. But these single women will come out and be like, oh, you're so, you're so sexy.

42:13 Oh my God, Adam, I just wanna like ride that beard and whatever. Ah. Yeah, you can say, that's my man all you want. There you go. I don't wanna see it in the group text. Yeah. So those are things for me, like, hey, can, you can, yeah. There's a address. So this is my problem is the double standards of it all. Oh, for sure. 'cause we have friends who have talked about women going up to their husbands randomly and touching their face or grabbing their dick when they walk by, things like that. Yeah. Disrespectfully. Yeah. But unicorns or single women are not labeled with the negativity that single men are. And I feel like there are single women out that step outta line, but there's just as much It's, it's both.

42:54 Yeah. Because there's married women that step outta line. Yeah, that's true. And it's like, yeah, no, that's true. So there's a, so here we are, we're talking about single men in the lifestyle and how people say they're so detrimental to the lifestyle. You know, what's detrimental to lifestyle people? People who don't know how to respect other people. Yeah. Their relationships and their boundaries. Mm-hmm. And this is why we talk about this all the time, because it's about respect. Uh, we have come we have come with unicorns that have had to been like, we've had unicorns that needed to be put in check, put in their place. Oh, yeah, Yeah. More so than we have men.

43:35 Yeah. The single guys that we've ever brought into our bedroom have been so respectful. That they still hit me up and ask me how I'm doing to this day. Yeah. It's like, Hey man, how you doing? So there was a, there was a path, there was a path that we had to walk to get to that point and to get to know the men that we like. Or that I like, I have some from years ago. Like years. Yeah. That still hit me up and are like, man, that was awesome. Do you think we could do that again? Why? Because we were both very respectful to them. Yeah. And they were respectful to us. Yeah. And you know that that's, and that's the big reason why I wanted to talk about this today, because I feel for the single guy in that they're given the label that they're given mm-hmm.

44:20 This negative label. Mm-hmm. Um, I know that we have a lot of new people that listen to our show. A lot of people who are still early on in their journey. I just wanna, I wanna put this in your head that, hey, not all single men should be labeled with that negative connotation. If you guys are looking to bring in a guy into your bedroom, just learn how to spot the red flags. Know what it is. Mm-hmm. You don't want in a person know that if they're even slightly disrespectful, they gotta go. I gotta add something to that. If you're gonna bring. Men that are in a couple, if you're going to bring another man in, you don't have to alpha it, you don't have to machismo it.

45:05 No. Like, just be cool. Let them know it. It's they're not dumb. Like if you talk to them like regular humans and tell 'em your boundaries and your rules, whatever y'all are bringing them in for, they can comprehend it. Yeah. Yeah. They comprehend it. You know, most guys, you, you gotta understand the single guy when you go in, you're not the show. You are not the show. You're the toy. Yes. Do not get your feelings hurt. You're the toy. You are the, and so we will show you the respect of the fact that you are a person. Yes. And that you are. Most likely a friend. 'cause if we're bringing you in, we have to like you. Mm-hmm. We have to trust you. We have to feel safe with you.

45:46 And so, we'll, by that time, we consider you a friend. We're gonna let you come in. But you are not the star of the show. No, she is. And you are there for her pleasure. Yes. Just the same as I'm there for her pleasure. Thank you for saying that. It's true. Yeah. And I feel like that's the case in most threesomes. Yes. Where they bring in a man Yeah. You're there for her pleasure. Yes. Unless, unless, and the men are bisexual, in which case, hey, for all of y'all, your thing. Yeah. And also that goes for, for women. Yeah. For unicorns. If I'm bringing a single woman in here, it's for me and her. Like it's, it's mainly for me, but it's like a fun for me and her.

46:28 Of course you're gonna have sex. It's not gonna be fun for me time. Well, no, of course you are. But I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like it's more for us. Yeah. You know, it's a more for us situation and we tell you that. We'll tell you that. Yeah. So I mean, so for guys, you don't, you don't have to go in there with that alpha mentality. No. You don't have to go in there and go, oh, I'm gonna fuck you better than your husband. Or, I'm gonna give you Dick so good that you're gonna be crying for days, or whatever the fuck you guys want to say that make that pumps you up. You don't have to do that unless you're asked to. Yeah. If anything, go in and be an equal. Yeah. Just be an equal. Yeah. Just say, okay, what role do you want me to play in this? Because I'm down, you know? Yeah. And if there's something that maybe crosses your boundaries, you say, ah, well that right there, I don't care for everything else is cool, but eh, I could do without that.

47:15 Yeah. You know what I mean? Vocal lies what your boundaries are too. Because even though you are being brought in to this couple, and you may really, really want this experience. Don't compromise your boundaries because you want that experience. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, because that's not fair to you. That's not fair to you. Yeah. You want to enjoy the experience, but you don't want to compromise your boundaries and do something that you don't wanna do because the chick is really hot. I don't, I don't, I was just kidding. Well, you know, that's, there was a time in my lifestyle journey where I would have very easily just last year. I'm just kidding. I would say probably, you don't have to get into that, but what?

47:57 No, no, no. After, after, probably after we stopped being poly. Yeah. And we reentered, you know? Yeah. Just the sexual portion of it. That's really where I started going. Okay. You know what I've had my experiences. Mm-hmm. And I think I really need to find more. Quality, then quantity. And I can walk away from shit. I can say no to shit. Mm-hmm. You know, I don't have to be so desperate. Yeah. And the moment I realized that I don't have to be so desperate and I can walk away from situations. Yeah. Yeah. That's really where I started seeing better situations arrive. That's awesome. Which is pretty cool. That's cool. Yeah. And I think it's a confidence thing because when you feel like you are willing to do anything to sleep with somebody, I think it comes out, I think it, it appears in your, it does in your personality.

48:47 Yes. It's a certain desperation. It's almost like a drop of blood in the sea. The sharks come around, they can smell it in their little gills. Like, it's, it's automatic. And I think women, they can sense even the slightest bit of thirstiness. Oh God, yes. They can, they can sense it out. You can just possible. I mean, and some women like that. Some women want like the thirsty men. I don't mind. Portraying to an extent, a little bit of thirst if that's what, you know, I like to feel wanted. Yeah. And so I don't mind portraying that for somebody if it makes them feel sexier. Yeah. If it makes them feel more into it.

49:28 Yeah. Fuck yeah. I can do that. Yeah. Because I, I like it myself. Yeah. Uh, but there's a difference between I guess, expressing want and being thirsty. Yeah. And it's nonstop. It it to the point to where you can't even have a regular conversation with somebody. It's all sex. Yeah. It's all looks Oh my gosh. And I know, you know what I'm talking about. 'cause I've seen the conversations on deck. I do not like that. Yeah. It's, it's like, it's almost like you'll start. I've seen you, you've been like, oh yeah, so and so messaged me and I, you know, I might be kind of interested, so I'm gonna see how these conversations go and like, the first conversation will be okay. And then the sex starts coming in on the second conversation.

50:08 And then before you know what, it's all sex. Mm-hmm. And it's all, oh God, you're so hot. Mm-hmm. Oh God, I want you so bad. Mm-hmm. And there's no substance to the conversation whatsoever. And that's it. You know what's funny is I've gotten conversations like that too. Yeah. The moment that there's nothing but sex and no substance. You, you've told me that, you're like, I lose, I lose. You're like, she's too thirsty. I'm not interested. Yeah. Not interested. Yeah. I wanna know that, you know what I think it is? Hmm. I think some women like that for more than, um, for more than just a compliment. Like they get off to it. How's that? Ooh, you like that? Oh, you think I'm sexy? Yeah. Oh, you know what? Yeah, you may be right.

50:49 Yeah. So I, I don't know if you remember this, but back in, in our hometown, there was this girl and she was talking to both of us for a while. She was from my past. She was talking to both of us for a little while when you moved Uhhuh. And I was like finishing up back at home and she would message, remember, I would tell you, she was the first one that would message me and she'd be like, yeah, you like that fat pussy, don't you? Oh, yeah. Remember? Oh, yes. Anyways, that same, uh, I wanted to make sure you knew who I was talking about, but she used to always message me with, do want me, like, what do you want about me? Yeah. What is it about me that you want? It was constant. Constant. Yeah. You know, I couldn't just give a compliment or I couldn't just say, yeah. You know, I, I'd tap that.

51:29 Well, what, what is it about me that, that you want Like what? The fluffiness Yeah. It and it was constant. So that's constant. That's the fluffiness. It's like, God, really? You gotta do that. You gotta be like that. I gotta fucking, and, and then before you know it, it's not genuine anymore. Yeah. After that, you're fishing for compliments so much that whatever I give you, it's not genuine anymore. And bam, I've lost interest. That's it. Yeah. You, that's too much work. If, if, if I have to be disingenuous when I talk to you, I'm not interested. If I can give you a compliment and it's a genuine compliment. Yeah. And some people can't take compliments, but they say, so I get that. I understand. Yeah.

52:09 But if you're gonna continue after that compliment for more, you're gonna keep on, nah, sorry. I, I can't. You gotta, do you ever get those women where they send you one picture, like in the day, right. They send you one picture and they're like sitting down by their desk or whatever. Right? And then you're like, oh yeah, that, that looks hot. And then they send you another picture later on in the day and they're like, I don't know, watching TV and they send you another picture later on in the day and they're just doing something else the way I do to you. Yeah. Do you get that a lot? No. I remember you used to. I used to. Yeah. Certain. 'cause they always wanted you to fucking compliment. That's true.

52:49 And you know, I ran into this a lot and you know this when we were poly. Yeah. I ran into a lot of women that would use me to make themselves feel better. Oh, yeah. When they needed it. Yeah. And I think I still run into that now. I'm like, we've had some friends recently. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. That would message me all the time. Mm-hmm. Uh, and it was for their own benefit. Yeah. When they wanted to feel better about themselves, they would message me. Yeah. And when they had something better, they would ghost. Yay. They're not friends anymore. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, that's, that's how it would go. They would just disappear when it didn't benefit them. I just posted something about that.

53:30 You did. I don't know how we gotta this conversation, but I just posted something about that I was in the car with, with our daughter and I was like, I don't need any validation. Like when I post a picture. Yeah. I'll post a sexy picture for my, for you to see. Right. Or you'll be like, I send it to you first and you'll be like, post that. Yeah. And I'll post it and tag me, but I don't post on groups for compliments or validation or anything like. I know I'm pretty mm-hmm. I know I'm hot. I know I'm wanted because my husband thinks I'm hot because my husband thinks I'm pretty and my husband always wants me. Right. So like, that's my world right there. Yeah. But I don't do it for like compliments.

54:11 If I do, it's, if I send a sexy picture to like a guy or something, it's not for them to be like, Ooh, you're so fucking hot. It's for just for them to admire it. Yeah. I don't need a compliment back. Right. Like, I tell my friends, I'm like, you don't have to say I'm sexy here, go do your business. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. I don't need the compliments. It's not my, yeah. It's not my thing. And it's not that I don't accept 'em. I appreciate them. I just do not need, I'm not a girl, a lady that's gonna be sending you pictures, just like there's women out there who maybe they don't get it from home and maybe they do get it home, but prefer not to get it from home. And so they get that validation from other people.

54:51 Yeah. And it's all good until they find that validation from somebody they consider better and then they drop the person. Yeah. But then when they don't get the attention from that other person, then they're like, well, I know I can turn to this person. Well, you, you kind, you kind of had that with the lady and the husband where she think where the husband pretty contacted me. Oh yeah. And the husband pretty much was like thinking that you, that she just liked you better. Like his wife. Yeah. His wife just liked you way better. And maybe that was the case. I think that was the case. That might have been the case. Yeah. So that has come up. I don't know how we, how we got to this part of it. Yeah. Because we were talking about single guys.

55:31 But it just goes to show you that, and like I said. Yeah, it started off as single guys, but yeah, we went around in the entire circle. Mm-hmm. Because as you can see, it isn't just single guys, it's single women. Mm-hmm. It's married guys. Mm-hmm. It's married women. You either respect and give consent and get consent, or you don't, mm-hmm. And it doesn't matter what walk of life you're in, it doesn't matter if you're married, it doesn't matter if you're single. You're either respectful or you're not. Be respectful. Be respectful peoples. Be respectful. Mm-hmm. And also keep, keep an open mind to, to a lot of respectful single guys. So that's our show for today. Thanks for hanging with us this week.

56:12 If you loved it, make sure to like, subscribe, share, and leave us a review. 'cause it seriously helps us grow and it keeps this conversation going. You can find everything beyond monogamy at www.beyondmonogamy.com, including our Beyond Monogamy Confessional, our blog posts, merch, and all of the juicy extras. And don't forget to check out our events tabs on our website for details of upcoming Beyond Monogamy events, or even just where we may be hanging out in case you wanna come and join us. Yes? Yes. We do have an event coming up we have a Texas Desire Hotel takeover. There still are tickets on that. Yeah, there's uh, last I checked, I believe there's like five rooms left.

56:55 Yeah. So, um, and uh, that's the weekend of April 11th. Yeah, it's the Texas Desires Hotel takeover. I believe Day passes are gone. Day passes are gone, yeah. Yeah. But like I said, there are still like five rooms available. I think some people had dropped out. So there is still a chance to reserve your room, uh, if you're interested. Remember it's the weekend of April. April at 11th. April 11th. Okay. Uh, we are doing a live show from it, so if you want to hang out with us, you wanna hear a show live along with so many other cool things that the hotel takeover, check that out. It's on our, our website. You have it in the events tabs. We have all the information in the events tab. So go in there. Come out if you can come and show some love.

57:35 It's a really great venue. Um, we had a lot of fun last year. Yeah, we'll have our merch there. We'll have we'll also have a themed room, so that's be, we will also have a fun, fun, uh, just to let you know. Also, uh, if it wasn't mentioned before, we're also streaming every Thursday on full swap radio.com at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central. So be sure and tune in. Uh, show us some love over there too. And scope out all the other podcasts that are on there. It's really cool. Yes, uh, as always, thanks for listening and we will see you guys next week. Bye.