Press the Button: Our Raw, Real Conversation About Prostate Massage

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All right, y'all.

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Before we dive in, a quick heads-up

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This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated PG.

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We're talking about adult themes,
sexual content, and the kinda stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kids.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice, and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear,
we are not licensed therapists,

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counselors, or sex couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches.

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Not sex couches.

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We're just a couple of people sharing
our lives, experiences, and sexy

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adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris, and before we
get into today's episode,

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if you're new here, welcome.

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You found the right place.

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We talk about the things that
most people are thinking, but

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nobody is saying out loud.

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Ethical non-monogamy, the swinging
lifestyle, sex, relationships,

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communication, and everything in between.

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Everything we do, full episodes, quickies,
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merch, and our anonymous confessional, all
of it lives at www.beyond-monogamy.com.

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That is home base.

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Bookmark it.

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Save it.

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Tell a friend.

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And speaking of telling a friend,
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Apple Podcasts or wherever you get
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Before we even start, hit follow,
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Those actions cost nothing, and they
help us reach more people who are looking

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for exactly this kind of conversation.

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Now, babe, we got a confessional,
and this one came in hot.

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Yes, and I'm excited, so let me
go ahead and read this one, okay?

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So this confessional came into our
website, and here's how it goes.

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" Hey, Adam and Pris.

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I was listening to the Cum episode,
and a question you guys asked

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sparked my interest because I
am uniquely qualified to answer.

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The question was about prostate
massage- during a blowjob

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or any other type of play.

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Over the past year or so, my wife
has been giving me a prostate massage

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during blowjobs, and the sensation can
only be described as earth-shaking.

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It feels like a full-body orgasm with
the duration, the intensity, and the

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volume of ejaculate all increased
way more than you would think.

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Usually afterwards, I am completely
incapacitated, and the time it takes for

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me to reach orgasm is greatly reduced.

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I would liken it to the difference
between women who experience a vaginal

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orgasm versus clitoral, but that's
a guess since I don't have either of

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those.

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He says, "Hope this helps."

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Wow.

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Yeah, no, that absolutely helps, um,
100%, because today we're going to build

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on this, because I think there's a lot
here, including some personal transparency

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from me that I think this is going to
hit home for a lot of the men listening.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Now, I wanna be upfront with y'all.

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I have never had this done.

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Um-

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uh, so there's, there's
a whole thing to it.

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Um, I first heard about this, uh, I
think there was a, there was a movie, uh,

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well, there was a movie called Road Trip.

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Okay.

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You remember that movie Road Trip?

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Uh, it's where they have to
drive all the way to Boston.

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To Ithaca.

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Yeah.

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Because- Or to Ithaca.

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Yeah.

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Anyways, so there was a part where
they needed to get money in order to

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get gas to get back home or whatever.

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Yeah.

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And so they had to make some
money, so they went to a, uh- Yeah,

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yeah,

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yeah, yeah ... a sperm bank.

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Yeah.

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And- And the guy got... Yeah

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...
yeah, and Stifler- So it hits

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Stifler, the guy that plays Stifler
all the time, he, he's over there

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and he's like, "Hey," you know-
Yeah ... "I need some help," and

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y- 'cause the, the nurse is hot.

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Yeah.

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And she's like, "We call this
milking the-" Yeah ... "prostate."

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Yeah.

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And she puts on the, the glove,
and then it goes from there.

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Yeah.

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So that's the first time I had
ever heard anything- Mm-hmm

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about this.

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Um, now, I don't know if you remember
me telling you, but there was a girl

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that I was with a very long time ago.

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I was in my early 20s.

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Um-

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Yes

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...
and she, it was our, our first time
together, and she was going down

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on me, and the blowjob was great.

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Mm-hmm.

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Uh, but she... I- it was a sloppy blowjob.

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It was very wet, and then I
guess somewhere in there she just

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shoved a finger inside of me.

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Now, I don't know if... I, I mean,
she came from the nursing industry,

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so I don't know if maybe she
was trying to find the prostate.

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I remember feeling like there
was something alien inside of me,

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and I couldn't... I don't know.

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I, I- Yeah, no, it's, um- ... I was
wiggly, and I just couldn't... I, I was

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like, "Oh, my gosh. What's happening?"

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I wasn't, I wasn't mentally
prepared for it, for one thing.

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You know, it was, it was, it was really,
really difficult to, you know, she just

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stuck that finger up in there and she
started moving it around, and I would

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assume that she knew what she was doing.

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But also, uh, nothing had been
up there previous to her finger.

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Yeah.

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And I, like I said, I was not prepared,
I wasn't into it, and honestly, it

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just created an association that I've
carried around for a very long time.

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It's very traumatic for me.

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Uh, the butt became very closed off.

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Yeah.

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I mean, everything you said I think the
key word here, just, you had no warning.

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I didn't have no warning.

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You had no warning.

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No.

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I

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mean,

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that's not a prostate problem.

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I feel like that was consent
and communication problem.

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Well, yeah.

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You know what

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I mean?

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You just kind of happened, right?

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So-

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But it's traumatic.

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I mean- It's traumatic

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...
I've, I guess I need to know, the
prostate is... Do only men have it?

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Well, I, I don't really know
anything about it, honestly.

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Like, do only men have a prostate?

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Let's see.

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Because if only a man has a prostate,
I really can't say anything about that,

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but all... Is it fingering an asshole?

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Okay, hold on.

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I am looking up everything
you can find about prostates.

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Okay.

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Okay?

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Okay.

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I'm

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gonna read this here.

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This is the prostate gland,
a comprehensive overview.

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Okay.

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What is the prostate?

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The prostate is a walnut-sized
exocrine gland found only in

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people assigned male at birth.

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Okay.

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There's your answer there.

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Okay, so

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It sits just below the bladder, in
front of the rectum, and surrounds

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the urethra, the tube that carries
urine and semen out of the body.

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It's part of both the urinary
and repr- reproductive systems.

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Oh, so I totally understand.

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So you would go in and toward- I

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don't like what you're doing with

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your finger there ... yeah, you go in
and toward the, toward your testicles.

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So toward... Oh.

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So the prostate's primary
job is reproductive.

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Mm.

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Uh, it produces prostatic fluid, a
milky, slightly alkaline fluid that

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makes up 20 to 30% of semen volume.

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Okay.

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Uh, it protects sperm.

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The alkaline fluid neutralizes
the acidity of the vaginal canal.

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Uh, it powers ejaculation.

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The prostate's smooth muscle
contracts during orgasm to

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propel semen through the urethra.

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And hormone conversion contains the
enzyme 5-alpha-reductase- Okay ... which

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converts testosterone into more
potent dihydrotestosterone, or DHT,

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which regulates prostate growth.

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Okay.

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Now-

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So yeah, so it's, it's-

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It's considered the male G-spot,
also called the P-spot, due

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to the concentration of nerve
endings that are in there.

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It's highly in- in- innervated by both
the autonomic and somatic nervous systems.

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Oh my gosh, this is total nerd talk.

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I don't understand any of that.

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Stimulation can trigger intense
pleasure and, in many cases,

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enhance or produce orgasm, which is
basically what our friend here is

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saying, sometimes called a prostate
orgasm or a non-ejaculatory orgasm.

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How do you do that?

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Okay, so here we go.

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Prostate massage, also called
prostate milking, refers to the manual

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stimulation of the prostate gland,
either internally via f- a finger

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or specialized toy inserted into
the rectum angled toward the navel-

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Yeah

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roughly two or three inches in toward
the belly button side of the rectal wall.

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Or externally via
pressure on the perineum.

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Yeah, that

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middle part.

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The area between the scrotum and the
anus, sometimes called the taint.

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Yeah.

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This is less direct.

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Now, I will tell you, and, and,
and I mean, I don't have to

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tell you, you know this- Yeah

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because you've gone down there-

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Yeah

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...
and you've massaged that little area.

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Yeah.

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The taint.

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You really care for it.

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The taint ain't a bad place, let
me tell you, because you have gone

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there, and you've kinda rubbed it
and, like, when you're going down-

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Yeah ... and you kinda rubbed it.

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And I'm like, "Ooh, it, it feels good."

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"It feels nice." I don't know if I'd
feel the same way if you stuck a finger

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up my ass though.

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So then I get it.

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I get why, um, I know
that some men like that.

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I've, I've actually spoken to some men,
and they, they like the prostate play.

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I, um...

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So this might have been- Wait, is that

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why guys like their ass eaten out?

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I may... Possibly.

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I mean, that's a really good question.

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I've never been into ass play myself.

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Like I said, though, that one interaction
that I had when I was younger, it

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traumatized me, and I've never, ever-

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I think a lot of

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men

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think that- ... gone back to
that ... it's, um, ver- it's, uh, it's

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homophobic.

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Well, so, and

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that's the thing that, that, you know, uh,
is, is brought up oftentimes is, "Well,

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I, I don't want no finger in my ass.

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I ain't gay." "I ain't gay." And
even in swinger lifestyle circles-

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Yeah

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...
I have seen it a billion times.

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Yeah.

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Wh- uh, you know, I, I commend the
guys who are straight-up secure in

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themselves to come out and go, "I
fucking love it." You know, hit me up.

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I don't, I don't care.

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You know?

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I mean- And I, to me,
I... It's, it's not gay.

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I don't, I don't believe- No ... it's gay.

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00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:16,389
Um, but I, I think it's, it's this,
this toxic masculine, "Well, I don't

244
00:10:16,389 --> 00:10:18,719
want no finger up my ass. I ain't gay."

245
00:10:18,859 --> 00:10:18,969
I-

246
00:10:18,969 --> 00:10:20,179
And it's like, come on, bro.

247
00:10:20,619 --> 00:10:22,809
I mean, think outside the box.

248
00:10:23,399 --> 00:10:24,589
Yeah, for sure.

249
00:10:24,589 --> 00:10:25,259
First of all- For

250
00:10:25,259 --> 00:10:25,679
sure

251
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:30,169
...
it... I understand the association
that these guys are thinking.

252
00:10:30,169 --> 00:10:30,199
Mm-hmm.

253
00:10:30,269 --> 00:10:34,779
"Okay, something's going in my ass
that apparently means I'm gay." That's

254
00:10:34,779 --> 00:10:36,079
this old school way of thinking.

255
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:41,459
But if, fellas, if, if a
woman is going down on you-

256
00:10:41,759 --> 00:10:42,199
Yeah

257
00:10:42,399 --> 00:10:45,649
...
and she's the one putting
her fingers in your ass-

258
00:10:45,649 --> 00:10:46,249
It's not gay

259
00:10:46,409 --> 00:10:47,239
...
that's not gay.

260
00:10:48,009 --> 00:10:50,389
Now, if a man is doing it, that's gay.

261
00:10:50,469 --> 00:10:52,429
Yeah, and I think that's
the mo- I mean, I...

262
00:10:52,929 --> 00:10:53,159
Yeah.

263
00:10:54,129 --> 00:10:54,669
I- It's

264
00:10:54,669 --> 00:10:55,239
interesting

265
00:10:55,979 --> 00:11:00,139
...
I don't know if I would
do that with just anybody.

266
00:11:00,989 --> 00:11:01,459
Well, so- I mean,

267
00:11:01,459 --> 00:11:01,849
personally, like

268
00:11:01,889 --> 00:11:02,509
I would- I don't know.

269
00:11:02,509 --> 00:11:05,649
So I trust you, but at the same time-
Yeah ... I don't know if I would

270
00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:07,489
trust you to do that internally.

271
00:11:07,989 --> 00:11:12,619
I would rather have a nurse, because
otherwise you're gonna be probing me

272
00:11:12,619 --> 00:11:15,639
with your fi- you got some long ass
fingers, girl, and they're chubby fingers.

273
00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:16,139
I got you.

274
00:11:16,179 --> 00:11:17,579
Like you're, you got some girthy fingers.

275
00:11:17,579 --> 00:11:17,729
I got

276
00:11:17,729 --> 00:11:18,089
you, though.

277
00:11:18,119 --> 00:11:18,709
You know what I'm saying?

278
00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:19,049
No.

279
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:19,359
We're gonna-

280
00:11:19,359 --> 00:11:20,919
And you're just gonna be in
there and you're gonna be like-

281
00:11:20,919 --> 00:11:21,159
No

282
00:11:21,199 --> 00:11:22,099
"Nah, man.

283
00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:22,549
I don't think

284
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:23,129
so." I got you.

285
00:11:23,219 --> 00:11:23,829
I don't think so.

286
00:11:24,009 --> 00:11:24,859
We're gonna try this.

287
00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:25,509
Now what?

288
00:11:26,189 --> 00:11:27,389
You better stop it, girl.

289
00:11:27,389 --> 00:11:28,119
This is me telling you.

290
00:11:28,709 --> 00:11:28,889
I don't-

291
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:29,429
Come on

292
00:11:29,479 --> 00:11:29,789
...
I don't think

293
00:11:29,829 --> 00:11:29,959
so.

294
00:11:29,959 --> 00:11:31,619
Hey, you have to try everything once.

295
00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:32,919
This is, this is true.

296
00:11:32,949 --> 00:11:35,869
But like I said- But I won't know- ... I
don't know if I would trust you to do

297
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:36,319
it.

298
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,359
I'm the only one that wants to do it.

299
00:11:38,919 --> 00:11:40,269
Why would you need a nurse to do it?

300
00:11:40,499 --> 00:11:42,169
Because nurses know
about that sort of thing.

301
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,489
Why would you get a
nurse to do it, though?

302
00:11:43,489 --> 00:11:44,619
You're not having sex with them.

303
00:11:45,119 --> 00:11:46,329
It's for ejaculation.

304
00:11:46,829 --> 00:11:50,249
I know that, but I'm saying there's
lots of nurses in the lifestyle.

305
00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:50,819
No.

306
00:11:51,049 --> 00:11:52,799
Me first, then you can go with a nurse.

307
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,979
Well, then you need to research
your shit because- I got you

308
00:11:54,979 --> 00:11:58,259
I ain't gonna have you just poking me
willy-nilly with your middle finger.

309
00:11:58,589 --> 00:12:02,609
I have seen what you do to women, and
frankly, I don't know about all that.

310
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,039
Like, if you're gonna be doing
that to me, like you get in there.

311
00:12:05,109 --> 00:12:06,329
Like, you're up in there.

312
00:12:06,509 --> 00:12:06,609
No.

313
00:12:06,729 --> 00:12:07,309
Mm-hmm.

314
00:12:07,539 --> 00:12:08,529
Never.

315
00:12:08,779 --> 00:12:10,599
I've seen you get some
fingers up in there.

316
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:10,659
No.

317
00:12:10,789 --> 00:12:11,309
It's just-

318
00:12:11,579 --> 00:12:11,899
Nope

319
00:12:12,369 --> 00:12:12,689
...
just-

320
00:12:12,969 --> 00:12:13,589
Nope.

321
00:12:13,849 --> 00:12:15,109
...
po- poking at people.

322
00:12:15,139 --> 00:12:16,669
I don't do that 'cause I
don't like that done on me.

323
00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:17,119
Oh, yeah?

324
00:12:17,119 --> 00:12:17,279
Yeah.

325
00:12:17,549 --> 00:12:17,719
Yeah.

326
00:12:18,119 --> 00:12:18,269
Well-

327
00:12:18,269 --> 00:12:19,949
Mm-hmm ... well, let's not
turn the show about you.

328
00:12:19,949 --> 00:12:20,009
Yeah.

329
00:12:20,179 --> 00:12:23,559
This is about prostates,
of which you do not have.

330
00:12:24,389 --> 00:12:27,169
No, but I would definitely try
the... I would definitely try it

331
00:12:27,169 --> 00:12:28,589
on you, at least the taint area.

332
00:12:28,619 --> 00:12:28,759
You

333
00:12:28,759 --> 00:12:33,819
know, it's, it's so, it's so difficult
though, because, because like I said,

334
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:36,099
that, that trauma is in my head.

335
00:12:36,259 --> 00:12:36,299
Mm-hmm.

336
00:12:36,299 --> 00:12:38,599
Like, I know that I
didn't like that feeling.

337
00:12:38,659 --> 00:12:38,999
Mm-hmm.

338
00:12:39,329 --> 00:12:44,309
And I, I'm afraid of, frankly,
of, of what it might produce.

339
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,749
You know, for one thing,
I don't wanna shit on you.

340
00:12:47,249 --> 00:12:49,889
And I don't, and this is coming
from a place of ignorance, guys.

341
00:12:49,889 --> 00:12:52,599
So if for those of y'all
who know this business-

342
00:12:52,669 --> 00:12:53,099
Mm-hmm

343
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,759
...
I apologize for my ignorance,
but this is a very typical- I

344
00:12:56,759 --> 00:12:57,609
understand ... way of thinking.

345
00:12:57,859 --> 00:13:01,119
And, you know, I'm like, you know, I, I
don't wanna shit on you, for one thing.

346
00:13:01,169 --> 00:13:03,489
How embarrassing, uh, would that be?

347
00:13:03,919 --> 00:13:04,159
Yeah.

348
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:05,609
Uh, even if I am with you.

349
00:13:06,449 --> 00:13:07,799
Um, I don't know.

350
00:13:08,249 --> 00:13:12,079
Like, uh, the, just the, the tr- but I
didn't, I didn't shit on that, that w-

351
00:13:12,669 --> 00:13:13,889
woman the one time, you know?

352
00:13:14,439 --> 00:13:17,589
But I also was, I mean, I
was frigging watertight, man.

353
00:13:17,729 --> 00:13:18,339
I was like-

354
00:13:18,819 --> 00:13:19,139
I mean, you

355
00:13:19,139 --> 00:13:20,429
still are ... I had tight shutter speed.

356
00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:21,729
I was like, "Ah." I

357
00:13:21,729 --> 00:13:22,689
mean, there's, there's

358
00:13:23,189 --> 00:13:26,839
...
I had some, I had some grip strength
on that asshole when she pulled it out.

359
00:13:26,869 --> 00:13:29,239
I, she might have, luckily she
didn't have Lee Press On Nails, or

360
00:13:29,239 --> 00:13:31,009
she would've lost a, a fingernail.

361
00:13:31,229 --> 00:13:31,569
Yeah.

362
00:13:31,849 --> 00:13:32,099
Yeah.

363
00:13:32,529 --> 00:13:36,729
I mean, I used to do
that to my first husband.

364
00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:40,319
But did you do that-
No ... with that specifically?

365
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:40,619
No, because I, no.

366
00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:41,529
Or you just did-

367
00:13:41,749 --> 00:13:42,079
No

368
00:13:42,269 --> 00:13:43,409
...
a finger in the ass?

369
00:13:43,829 --> 00:13:43,999
No.

370
00:13:44,499 --> 00:13:45,829
Well, w- w- okay.

371
00:13:46,389 --> 00:13:47,399
I have questions.

372
00:13:48,309 --> 00:13:49,039
Hold up.

373
00:13:49,519 --> 00:13:50,349
I have questions.

374
00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:54,329
So you used to finger your first
husband's- No, not like a lot ... asshole?

375
00:13:54,329 --> 00:13:54,819
It's just like...

376
00:13:55,059 --> 00:13:55,649
Yeah . Well,

377
00:13:56,359 --> 00:13:57,689
what does, what does that mean?

378
00:13:57,689 --> 00:13:58,619
N- well, not a lot.

379
00:13:58,679 --> 00:13:59,099
No, just-

380
00:13:59,099 --> 00:13:59,579
Well, because-

381
00:13:59,579 --> 00:14:01,329
I just would finger his asshole
a little bit ... because

382
00:14:01,329 --> 00:14:01,549
that

383
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,539
is like the motion- That's
not a little bit or a

384
00:14:02,539 --> 00:14:04,419
lot ... that's the motion
of in and out, in and out.

385
00:14:04,919 --> 00:14:05,319
Yeah.

386
00:14:05,659 --> 00:14:06,289
Yeah, I guess so.

387
00:14:06,629 --> 00:14:06,789
Yeah.

388
00:14:07,289 --> 00:14:07,429
What?

389
00:14:07,789 --> 00:14:08,009
Yeah.

390
00:14:08,769 --> 00:14:10,409
So how would that even come about?

391
00:14:10,409 --> 00:14:14,389
Like, would he just be like, he'd
be like, "Okay, I'm gonna lay here.

392
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:17,909
I'm gonna put my legs up in the air.
You just get in there and just-"

393
00:14:18,129 --> 00:14:18,619
It's then-

394
00:14:18,619 --> 00:14:19,339
"...
move your finger around."

395
00:14:19,389 --> 00:14:19,519
No.

396
00:14:20,019 --> 00:14:22,159
Um, how would that happen?

397
00:14:22,289 --> 00:14:23,459
How did that happen?

398
00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:24,739
You lived it.

399
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,389
Um, I wanna say blowjob.

400
00:14:27,889 --> 00:14:28,719
I don't really know.

401
00:14:29,049 --> 00:14:30,359
I don't remember, but I remember doing it.

402
00:14:30,669 --> 00:14:31,309
You just remember doing

403
00:14:31,309 --> 00:14:31,339
it.

404
00:14:31,339 --> 00:14:35,119
I think... Yeah, he was on top of me, and
then I would just, like, reach around.

405
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:35,939
Yeah.

406
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:36,419
Yeah.

407
00:14:36,639 --> 00:14:40,489
You know, I think that the part that
I have the biggest issue with is

408
00:14:40,489 --> 00:14:42,249
the vulnerability that's attached.

409
00:14:42,279 --> 00:14:44,119
I don't think it gets any
more vulnerable than that.

410
00:14:44,299 --> 00:14:45,009
I, I agree.

411
00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:49,099
Like, I can- Yeah, that's a little- I can,
e- excuse me for saying this, but I can

412
00:14:49,099 --> 00:14:50,629
have my dick in m- in somebody's mouth.

413
00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:51,559
Mm-hmm.

414
00:14:51,559 --> 00:14:53,019
Um, and that's vulnerable-

415
00:14:53,229 --> 00:14:53,499
Mm-hmm

416
00:14:53,719 --> 00:14:54,809
...
you know, in front of everybody.

417
00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:55,259
Mm-hmm.

418
00:14:55,259 --> 00:14:58,519
But not as vulnerable as me pulling my
ass cheeks apart in front of people.

419
00:14:59,069 --> 00:14:59,559
You know what I mean?

420
00:14:59,559 --> 00:15:01,069
I mean, I don't think it's- Like,
that's a vulnerability that I

421
00:15:01,069 --> 00:15:02,219
don't- I don't think it's
so graphic like that.

422
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,969
I don't think... I think you're,
you're playing it to be very...

423
00:15:05,229 --> 00:15:07,909
It's not... It's, I think
it's a sensual move.

424
00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:08,949
Is it?

425
00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:11,309
So I- Yeah ... like I said, I, I,
I'm ignorant- I, it's- ... about

426
00:15:11,309 --> 00:15:11,919
this entire

427
00:15:11,919 --> 00:15:12,039
thing

428
00:15:12,039 --> 00:15:12,699
...
because, I mean, the way-

429
00:15:12,919 --> 00:15:13,229
Um

430
00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:15,909
...
the way you're express or explaining
it, it's, you s- it makes it seem

431
00:15:15,909 --> 00:15:18,779
like it's very hard, hard actions.

432
00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:21,239
I think it's a very sensual-

433
00:15:21,349 --> 00:15:21,679
Is it?

434
00:15:21,799 --> 00:15:21,969
Yeah.

435
00:15:22,019 --> 00:15:22,189
Yeah.

436
00:15:22,779 --> 00:15:23,449
Because you have to be relaxed.

437
00:15:23,449 --> 00:15:24,849
'Cause it's an actual massage.

438
00:15:24,899 --> 00:15:25,839
Yeah, and they have to- It's not

439
00:15:25,839 --> 00:15:26,789
like a finger pumping.

440
00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:27,819
Yeah, exactly.

441
00:15:27,899 --> 00:15:28,059
Yeah.

442
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:28,649
Exactly.

443
00:15:28,649 --> 00:15:32,099
So the person has to be
super, super, um, relaxed-

444
00:15:32,309 --> 00:15:32,539
Yeah

445
00:15:32,759 --> 00:15:39,679
...
for it to even- I think work in
their favor, not the person doing

446
00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:42,579
the action, but the person having
the action done to it, done to them.

447
00:15:42,849 --> 00:15:47,569
I feel like they ha- it's a very sensual
relaxation because even when you have

448
00:15:47,599 --> 00:15:51,669
anal play, if you're not used to it,
you should be super, super relaxed.

449
00:15:52,239 --> 00:15:57,919
So I would think that just comes
with a very, um, sensual play.

450
00:15:58,669 --> 00:15:58,919
Yeah?

451
00:15:59,019 --> 00:15:59,399
Yeah.

452
00:16:00,239 --> 00:16:03,399
Yeah, especially, I would think
especially a man, because you need to,

453
00:16:03,399 --> 00:16:06,579
like, really... Actually, anybody who's
having that kind of action done on them,

454
00:16:07,029 --> 00:16:12,029
you have to be super relaxed, super
comfortable, and then it's not like

455
00:16:12,029 --> 00:16:13,959
you're bent over spreading your cheeks.

456
00:16:13,999 --> 00:16:14,779
It's not like that.

457
00:16:14,779 --> 00:16:15,729
Mm. It's just a very...

458
00:16:16,319 --> 00:16:16,979
Okay, wait.

459
00:16:17,029 --> 00:16:20,199
Before we go any further, FirmTech.

460
00:16:20,659 --> 00:16:22,149
We have to talk about FirmTech

461
00:16:22,469 --> 00:16:22,739
Yes.

462
00:16:22,739 --> 00:16:25,279
Okay, so FirmTech makes the Tech Ring

463
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:27,189
Yeah, and here's the thing.

464
00:16:27,409 --> 00:16:29,019
It's not what you might think.

465
00:16:29,649 --> 00:16:32,339
Well, it kind of is, but
it's so much more than that

466
00:16:32,799 --> 00:16:32,999
Yeah.

467
00:16:33,039 --> 00:16:37,309
It's a wearable ring that helps with
firmness and blood flow, and it actually

468
00:16:37,309 --> 00:16:39,449
connects to an app that tracks data

469
00:16:39,539 --> 00:16:41,189
Real data.

470
00:16:41,479 --> 00:16:44,159
Like, it tells you exactly what's going on

471
00:16:44,459 --> 00:16:46,479
And there's actual clinical
research behind it.

472
00:16:46,619 --> 00:16:47,809
This isn't some random gimmick

473
00:16:48,309 --> 00:16:49,659
And then there's the Ring Mate.

474
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:50,519
I saw this thing.

475
00:16:50,519 --> 00:16:53,669
It's an attachment that goes
on the Tech Ring specifically

476
00:16:53,719 --> 00:16:55,089
for your partner's pleasure.

477
00:16:55,149 --> 00:16:56,169
Looks just like a tongue

478
00:16:56,379 --> 00:16:57,969
Hey, so everybody wins

479
00:16:57,969 --> 00:16:58,939
Everybody wins.

480
00:16:59,199 --> 00:17:01,079
It really is a whole situation

481
00:17:01,169 --> 00:17:02,379
A good situation

482
00:17:02,419 --> 00:17:03,719
A very good situation.

483
00:17:04,009 --> 00:17:06,619
Use code BEYOMONO at firmtech.co.

484
00:17:06,749 --> 00:17:11,699
That's B-E-Y-O-M-O-N-O
and get 15% off Okay, now

485
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,269
where were we?

486
00:17:13,544 --> 00:17:17,424
okay, so let's, let's open
Pandora's box, so to speak.

487
00:17:17,534 --> 00:17:22,094
Uh, so I guess my, my real question
would be, and, and, and this

488
00:17:22,094 --> 00:17:24,164
I, I, I wanna propose to you.

489
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:24,654
Mm-hmm.

490
00:17:25,154 --> 00:17:33,154
How would you say... How would,
how would you go about getting

491
00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:35,244
consent to do that to somebody?

492
00:17:35,404 --> 00:17:36,294
I would just ask.

493
00:17:36,494 --> 00:17:37,124
'
Cause there's...

494
00:17:37,184 --> 00:17:40,064
I, I, I've seen women- Same ... say
that they're into that.

495
00:17:40,164 --> 00:17:42,904
Yeah, so there are women that
really enjoy- Yes ... uh,

496
00:17:43,024 --> 00:17:44,224
pleasuring men in this way.

497
00:17:44,424 --> 00:17:44,484
Mm-hmm.

498
00:17:44,484 --> 00:17:44,614
Mm-hmm.

499
00:17:44,614 --> 00:17:46,734
Especially if it's something
that they're down for.

500
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:47,094
Mm-hmm.

501
00:17:47,314 --> 00:17:51,304
Um, I know for some women it's
a, it's a matter of, like, being

502
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:54,124
able to control somebody in that
way, like it's a power thing.

503
00:17:54,664 --> 00:17:59,394
Like, "Ooh, I'm making this guy come."
Like, "I'm, I'm getting him probably

504
00:17:59,394 --> 00:18:01,674
the best-" Oh ... "orgasm of his
life," you know, that sort of thing.

505
00:18:01,674 --> 00:18:01,734
Yeah.

506
00:18:01,774 --> 00:18:02,364
I would think it

507
00:18:02,364 --> 00:18:02,694
would.

508
00:18:02,694 --> 00:18:03,064
Um, yeah.

509
00:18:03,544 --> 00:18:08,784
Uh, so but say, say, say
I liked this sorta thing.

510
00:18:08,984 --> 00:18:09,344
Mm-hmm.

511
00:18:09,804 --> 00:18:12,084
What would our boundary be regarding that?

512
00:18:12,404 --> 00:18:13,694
Would it be just me and you?

513
00:18:14,244 --> 00:18:15,824
It would only happen between me and you?

514
00:18:15,824 --> 00:18:19,734
Or would that be something that if
somebody asked, I would be like, "Okay"?

515
00:18:20,564 --> 00:18:24,864
That would be a... I mean, I-
Like, for me, I mean, I don't know.

516
00:18:24,864 --> 00:18:25,864
That would be a you thing.

517
00:18:26,204 --> 00:18:29,464
Uh, well, I, um, that's the thing is
boundaries- Yeah ... are an us thing.

518
00:18:29,554 --> 00:18:29,924
Yeah.

519
00:18:29,974 --> 00:18:32,124
So- I don't know if I would want
anybody messing with that on you.

520
00:18:32,464 --> 00:18:32,584
Yeah.

521
00:18:32,584 --> 00:18:32,764
Gotta

522
00:18:32,824 --> 00:18:34,684
be like, "That's my area.

523
00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:35,544
Thank you very much."

524
00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:39,094
You know, I, I, I feel like there's
so much... Uh, like I said, it's,

525
00:18:39,134 --> 00:18:40,874
it's a very vulnerable thing for me.

526
00:18:40,874 --> 00:18:41,154
Yeah,

527
00:18:41,374 --> 00:18:41,614
yeah.

528
00:18:41,614 --> 00:18:43,264
Uh, I don't think I could
do it with anybody else.

529
00:18:43,264 --> 00:18:43,704
Mm-mm.

530
00:18:44,064 --> 00:18:44,934
I don't even know if I
could do it with you.

531
00:18:44,934 --> 00:18:45,364
I don't think so.

532
00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:45,804
Yeah.

533
00:18:46,164 --> 00:18:47,034
Like, that would be a tough one.

534
00:18:47,164 --> 00:18:48,134
I mean, I may try it.

535
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:48,664
Yeah.

536
00:18:48,964 --> 00:18:54,274
Um, just because I've never really,
outside of that horrible, horrible,

537
00:18:54,324 --> 00:18:59,294
horrible, horrible, horrible experience-
... um, outside of that, I mean, maybe it's

538
00:18:59,294 --> 00:19:00,874
different when you're expecting it.

539
00:19:00,914 --> 00:19:01,824
I, I would think so.

540
00:19:02,034 --> 00:19:02,174
Yeah.

541
00:19:02,204 --> 00:19:02,324
You know?

542
00:19:02,324 --> 00:19:03,294
I mean, it has to be.

543
00:19:03,294 --> 00:19:06,904
It's like any type of that,
any type of anal play, you,

544
00:19:06,904 --> 00:19:08,404
you need to be expecting it.

545
00:19:08,444 --> 00:19:09,364
You can't just-

546
00:19:09,874 --> 00:19:10,284
Here, here's- ... it

547
00:19:10,284 --> 00:19:10,934
can't be surprise.

548
00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:12,394
Here's the thing, though.

549
00:19:12,464 --> 00:19:18,184
So I saw, I read that, that, uh,
it, it gives you a full bladder

550
00:19:18,184 --> 00:19:20,594
feeling, like you have to pee.

551
00:19:20,714 --> 00:19:21,104
Okay.

552
00:19:21,104 --> 00:19:22,174
Um- Yeah, that makes sense.

553
00:19:22,214 --> 00:19:26,784
So I remember m- when this woman
started, you know, doing her thing

554
00:19:26,814 --> 00:19:31,244
while she was going down on me, uh,
like I said, I wasn't prepared for it.

555
00:19:31,244 --> 00:19:33,634
So then I'm like, "Oh,"
you know, I tighten up.

556
00:19:33,774 --> 00:19:35,094
I, I can't relax.

557
00:19:35,124 --> 00:19:35,304
No.

558
00:19:35,614 --> 00:19:38,554
Now, had I known it was coming,
I probably could have done my

559
00:19:38,554 --> 00:19:40,554
best to relax a little bit more.

560
00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:41,004
Yeah.

561
00:19:41,204 --> 00:19:46,644
But the fact that it was just taken
from me, um- ... I, I, I was very,

562
00:19:46,714 --> 00:19:48,754
uh, uptight about it, no pun intended.

563
00:19:49,114 --> 00:19:55,224
And I really, I didn't
know h- first off, God-

564
00:19:56,184 --> 00:20:01,334
I wish I had known how to say
no, 'cause I- Mm. I don't know

565
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,694
how that would've worked out.

566
00:20:03,524 --> 00:20:03,834
Um- I mean,

567
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:08,134
she should've asked for consent, but
I, I feel like we ask for consent more

568
00:20:08,184 --> 00:20:10,804
now, but back in the day, we, it wasn't.

569
00:20:10,864 --> 00:20:13,664
No, and I, I really couldn't
find my no on that either, and

570
00:20:13,664 --> 00:20:14,454
that was- No ... that was a-

571
00:20:14,584 --> 00:20:14,684
I

572
00:20:14,684 --> 00:20:15,444
mean- ... that was a tough one.

573
00:20:15,944 --> 00:20:19,204
I re- I feel- I just remember feeling
like I couldn't relax if- Yeah ... and,

574
00:20:19,204 --> 00:20:22,494
and I definitely, if I can't relax,
I'm definitely not gonna cum.

575
00:20:22,684 --> 00:20:22,744
Yeah.

576
00:20:22,884 --> 00:20:24,524
And see, that's the other part of this.

577
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:25,094
That's what I'm saying.

578
00:20:25,134 --> 00:20:26,464
It has to be very sensual

579
00:20:26,464 --> 00:20:28,314
and- Well, see, but that's
the other part of this, too.

580
00:20:28,814 --> 00:20:34,414
If I am being that vulnerable and I'm
having something done that I had a

581
00:20:34,414 --> 00:20:36,394
traumatic experience with already- Mm-hmm

582
00:20:36,614 --> 00:20:38,254
my mind, you know my mind.

583
00:20:38,664 --> 00:20:40,884
I'm, I'm an anxious little
chihuahua sometimes.

584
00:20:41,214 --> 00:20:45,124
And if my mind is on other things,
I'm not gonna be able to cum.

585
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:52,084
And my question is, if I have this
thing do, being done to me, is my mind

586
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,854
gonna prevent me from being able to cum?

587
00:20:54,344 --> 00:20:54,614
No.

588
00:20:55,424 --> 00:20:58,694
Or is this like, "Hey, I just press
the button. Boom, you're done"?

589
00:20:58,794 --> 00:20:59,294
I think so.

590
00:20:59,364 --> 00:20:59,884
Really?

591
00:20:59,934 --> 00:21:00,264
I do.

592
00:21:00,374 --> 00:21:00,874
Oh, man.

593
00:21:00,874 --> 00:21:01,024
Yeah.

594
00:21:01,054 --> 00:21:02,064
I can't even imagine.

595
00:21:02,564 --> 00:21:03,474
Well, imagine.

596
00:21:03,474 --> 00:21:06,704
Now, have you ever thought
about exploring this with me?

597
00:21:06,894 --> 00:21:07,094
Mm-hmm.

598
00:21:07,484 --> 00:21:07,894
Really?

599
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:08,804
I have, yeah.

600
00:21:09,164 --> 00:21:09,674
Really?

601
00:21:09,704 --> 00:21:09,974
Yeah.

602
00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:10,944
You never talked about it

603
00:21:10,944 --> 00:21:11,124
before.

604
00:21:11,124 --> 00:21:12,114
No, because I know how you are.

605
00:21:12,884 --> 00:21:13,504
I had trauma.

606
00:21:13,604 --> 00:21:13,844
Yeah.

607
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:14,589
So.

608
00:21:14,869 --> 00:21:19,009
Um, and so now that we're talking
about it, is this something

609
00:21:19,009 --> 00:21:19,849
that you wanna try with me?

610
00:21:19,899 --> 00:21:20,529
I do.

611
00:21:20,559 --> 00:21:20,939
Really?

612
00:21:21,659 --> 00:21:25,909
Now my question for you is this, because
we've had this conversation before

613
00:21:26,309 --> 00:21:30,859
where you're like, "Oh, I'm a..." I- if
you go to my TikTok and you see there,

614
00:21:30,909 --> 00:21:35,389
there's a, there, one of the pinned
TikToks on there is a conversation that

615
00:21:35,389 --> 00:21:41,189
we had in the car, uh, where we debated
over something, and the debate was-

616
00:21:41,189 --> 00:21:41,529
Uh-huh

617
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:44,569
she, she claims to be a people pleaser.

618
00:21:44,569 --> 00:21:45,389
She's like, "I'm like you.

619
00:21:45,469 --> 00:21:47,039
I'm a people pleaser."
And I'm like, "What?

620
00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:49,219
No, you're not." And she's like, "Yeah.

621
00:21:49,899 --> 00:21:51,979
Um, I please them by making them cum."

622
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:52,209
And

623
00:21:52,719 --> 00:21:55,699
I'm like, "Yeah, but you're not
pleasing them like, you know, people

624
00:21:55,699 --> 00:21:58,919
pleasing means like you're trying to
please them in, in every single way.

625
00:21:58,919 --> 00:22:00,769
It's like, 'Oh my gosh,
I wanna massage you.

626
00:22:00,769 --> 00:22:01,689
I wanna make you feel good.

627
00:22:01,689 --> 00:22:04,409
Like, I wanna please you in every
single way.' You're talking about

628
00:22:04,409 --> 00:22:07,069
just making them cum." And you're
like, "Well-" That's enough ... "does

629
00:22:07,069 --> 00:22:08,159
making you cum please you?"

630
00:22:08,409 --> 00:22:08,619
Yeah.

631
00:22:08,909 --> 00:22:10,629
"
Then I, I pleased you." I did my job.

632
00:22:10,629 --> 00:22:11,259
I'm a people pleaser.

633
00:22:11,489 --> 00:22:11,859
Anyways.

634
00:22:12,149 --> 00:22:13,999
So that's the cribs notes on that.

635
00:22:14,349 --> 00:22:16,119
That was the whole conversation.

636
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:22,069
Now my question to you is, would
you want to do that because you

637
00:22:22,069 --> 00:22:24,439
want to legitimately please me?

638
00:22:24,439 --> 00:22:24,579
Yeah.

639
00:22:24,579 --> 00:22:27,839
Or is it more of a power thing
in that I wanna find his button?

640
00:22:28,339 --> 00:22:29,469
I know, I know your buttons.

641
00:22:30,379 --> 00:22:32,019
You know my button, my mental buttons.

642
00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:32,259
Yeah.

643
00:22:32,259 --> 00:22:32,529
And

644
00:22:32,529 --> 00:22:32,929
you know all the

645
00:22:32,929 --> 00:22:33,059
stuff.

646
00:22:33,059 --> 00:22:33,189
I know all,

647
00:22:33,189 --> 00:22:33,319
yeah.

648
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:33,999
But I'm talking about

649
00:22:34,279 --> 00:22:34,589
the P spot.

650
00:22:34,589 --> 00:22:37,989
This one would be... Yeah, no,
this would be for, for, for you.

651
00:22:38,549 --> 00:22:39,469
This would be for me.

652
00:22:39,519 --> 00:22:39,769
Yeah.

653
00:22:40,429 --> 00:22:41,919
Well, then you better- If I could
do it ... you better give, you

654
00:22:41,919 --> 00:22:42,769
better give me- And if I could do

655
00:22:42,769 --> 00:22:43,229
it, um, yeah.

656
00:22:43,309 --> 00:22:43,949
I would, I will

657
00:22:43,999 --> 00:22:48,189
...
you better give me two, two ice cream
cones, uh, 'cause one's going in my mouth

658
00:22:48,189 --> 00:22:49,449
and the other one's gonna go on my ass-

659
00:22:49,829 --> 00:22:52,239
afterwards, 'cause goddamn.

660
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:53,659
I'm just saying.

661
00:22:53,859 --> 00:22:55,539
Sticking the unicorn in there.

662
00:22:55,579 --> 00:22:55,639
Yeah.

663
00:22:55,639 --> 00:22:57,559
I'm just saying, you know,
nope, nope- My horn ... nope

664
00:22:57,559 --> 00:22:58,149
...
ooh, I could use

665
00:22:58,149 --> 00:22:58,929
my- No, no ... my

666
00:22:58,929 --> 00:22:59,719
creature.

667
00:22:59,719 --> 00:23:00,999
No, girl, stop it.

668
00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:01,629
Stop it.

669
00:23:01,629 --> 00:23:04,509
No, this would be nice,
sensual, and we'll see.

670
00:23:04,699 --> 00:23:05,959
Stay tuned, people.

671
00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:09,789
I mean, this, this is definitely
something that, uh- Yeah ... that

672
00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:12,049
we're gonna have to, uh, look into.

673
00:23:12,189 --> 00:23:15,539
And like I said, there's
really nobody else that I would

674
00:23:15,539 --> 00:23:18,619
want to explore this with.

675
00:23:18,669 --> 00:23:18,819
Yeah.

676
00:23:19,489 --> 00:23:24,839
Um, I, I'll say, you know, I will do
it just for the sake of experiments.

677
00:23:25,189 --> 00:23:25,969
For sure.

678
00:23:25,969 --> 00:23:28,369
I would do it just for the sake of
experiments, because- You have to try

679
00:23:28,369 --> 00:23:29,169
everything once

680
00:23:29,439 --> 00:23:31,039
...
you do have to try everything once.

681
00:23:31,039 --> 00:23:35,769
So I, I, I, I, I'm not a big
fan of that saying, uh, because,

682
00:23:36,199 --> 00:23:39,739
uh, because I'm, I, you know, I,
I, it gets thrown at me a lot.

683
00:23:39,779 --> 00:23:43,489
I, I, I, I agree to an extent that
you have to try everything once.

684
00:23:43,489 --> 00:23:43,809
Mm-hmm.

685
00:23:43,869 --> 00:23:47,859
But some things are not worth trying.

686
00:23:48,229 --> 00:23:50,879
Uh, for example, uh, I'm, I'm straight.

687
00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:51,329
Yes.

688
00:23:51,529 --> 00:23:56,289
Um, and because of that, I know for
a fact that I'm straight because

689
00:23:57,129 --> 00:24:01,649
my dick does not get hard, uh, when
there are men's penises around me.

690
00:24:02,009 --> 00:24:02,239
Right.

691
00:24:02,509 --> 00:24:02,909
Penises?

692
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:03,369
Penii?

693
00:24:03,479 --> 00:24:03,949
Whatever it is.

694
00:24:03,949 --> 00:24:03,979
Penii.

695
00:24:04,389 --> 00:24:08,634
Um, but I know that I am not
sexually attracted to men.

696
00:24:08,914 --> 00:24:08,974
Right.

697
00:24:08,974 --> 00:24:10,534
So because of that, I
know that I'm straight.

698
00:24:10,794 --> 00:24:13,934
But every time I say, " You
never know until you tried it.

699
00:24:14,014 --> 00:24:15,164
You gotta try everything once."

700
00:24:15,294 --> 00:24:16,084
That's different.

701
00:24:16,564 --> 00:24:18,304
That's what gets thrown at me oftentimes.

702
00:24:18,304 --> 00:24:19,514
No, that is... Oh, I mean, I know they do.

703
00:24:19,514 --> 00:24:21,254
Like, "Well, you haven't tried, you
haven't tried sucking a dick." Yeah.

704
00:24:21,254 --> 00:24:22,764
And it's like, well, this is factual.

705
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:24,364
I have never tried sucking a dick.

706
00:24:24,504 --> 00:24:24,744
Yeah.

707
00:24:24,974 --> 00:24:27,104
Um, and it, but it doesn't appeal to me.

708
00:24:27,374 --> 00:24:27,874
You know what I mean?

709
00:24:28,104 --> 00:24:29,514
And, and just the same way- Does this

710
00:24:29,514 --> 00:24:29,784
appeal to you?

711
00:24:30,184 --> 00:24:34,374
It doesn't initially, but I will say
that this person- I think the outcome of

712
00:24:34,374 --> 00:24:34,624
it will

713
00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:38,724
this person who wrote to us via our
confessional, I'm not gonna lie, my

714
00:24:38,724 --> 00:24:44,454
friend, uh, you pose a wonderful argument,
um, of which you've got me thinking.

715
00:24:45,134 --> 00:24:45,814
You've got me thinking.

716
00:24:45,814 --> 00:24:46,104
There you go.

717
00:24:46,104 --> 00:24:50,234
And, uh, you definitely opened
up the conversation, uh, for us.

718
00:24:50,444 --> 00:24:50,664
Yeah.

719
00:24:50,704 --> 00:24:54,734
Uh, now, my beautiful bride, would
you look at me any different?

720
00:24:54,764 --> 00:24:58,474
Because there was an old, an old version
of you- Yes ... uh, from back in the day.

721
00:24:58,474 --> 00:24:58,774
There was.

722
00:24:58,774 --> 00:25:03,434
And this is not you now, but- Yeah ... the
old version of you, uh, where, you know,

723
00:25:03,434 --> 00:25:08,264
if, if you f- found out that a guy liked
ass play, you would automatically just

724
00:25:08,264 --> 00:25:11,664
kind of look at him differently and walk
away going, "Yeah, I'm not interested."

725
00:25:12,214 --> 00:25:12,344
Yes.

726
00:25:12,384 --> 00:25:16,654
Um, and so obviously I know that that's
not how you think about things now.

727
00:25:16,684 --> 00:25:16,794
No.

728
00:25:17,244 --> 00:25:18,964
Uh, but would it change how you th-

729
00:25:19,034 --> 00:25:19,254
No

730
00:25:19,254 --> 00:25:20,354
...
think about me at all?

731
00:25:20,354 --> 00:25:20,414
No.

732
00:25:20,414 --> 00:25:20,504
Like

733
00:25:20,504 --> 00:25:20,684
w-

734
00:25:20,874 --> 00:25:22,064
'
cause, uh, you know- I,

735
00:25:22,064 --> 00:25:22,804
I wouldn't care

736
00:25:22,804 --> 00:25:24,374
...
toxic masculinity is a biotch, man.

737
00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:24,864
Yeah.

738
00:25:25,034 --> 00:25:28,694
And, and frankly, I'm talking about
it here in front of everybody.

739
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:28,724
Mm-hmm.

740
00:25:28,724 --> 00:25:31,584
And I guarantee you there's some
motherfuckers out there that are judging

741
00:25:31,644 --> 00:25:33,584
me, and they're going, "Oh, Adam.

742
00:25:33,674 --> 00:25:35,974
Yeah, we know what you're
gonna do." And you know what?

743
00:25:36,474 --> 00:25:37,524
What the fuck ever, bro.

744
00:25:38,024 --> 00:25:39,684
You wanna judge me- Uh, no ... whatever.

745
00:25:39,684 --> 00:25:40,164
I don't care.

746
00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:40,794
I wouldn't see you any

747
00:25:40,794 --> 00:25:41,184
differently.

748
00:25:41,184 --> 00:25:41,244
Um,

749
00:25:41,514 --> 00:25:41,724
but-

750
00:25:41,724 --> 00:25:42,754
I mean, and I wouldn't care

751
00:25:43,074 --> 00:25:47,314
...
you know, it, it's, to me,
it's, it's an experiment.

752
00:25:47,314 --> 00:25:48,594
Man, I will tell you something, though.

753
00:25:49,094 --> 00:25:51,224
If I like it, oh, shit.

754
00:25:51,284 --> 00:25:51,734
Forget it.

755
00:25:52,274 --> 00:25:54,524
We're gonna have to, we're gonna
have to figure something out.

756
00:25:55,434 --> 00:25:56,184
I think you will.

757
00:25:56,304 --> 00:25:57,584
We're gonna have to figure-
Yeah ... something else out.

758
00:25:57,584 --> 00:25:57,834
Yeah.

759
00:25:58,154 --> 00:25:58,634
I think you will.

760
00:25:58,634 --> 00:26:03,054
I, I, I think the, the biggest problem
with this being openly talked about,

761
00:26:03,094 --> 00:26:06,004
though, is definitely the toxic
masculinity that revolves around it.

762
00:26:06,034 --> 00:26:06,594
Oh, yeah.

763
00:26:06,624 --> 00:26:10,994
Um, you know, there's so many people
out there, and, and it's not just guys.

764
00:26:11,034 --> 00:26:11,114
No.

765
00:26:11,114 --> 00:26:14,224
But it's also some, some women
that have the same, uh, kind of

766
00:26:14,304 --> 00:26:14,464
thinking.

767
00:26:14,464 --> 00:26:15,224
I mean, I did.

768
00:26:15,274 --> 00:26:22,004
I, I did not... If... I didn't... If
a man told me that they were bisexual,

769
00:26:22,044 --> 00:26:23,444
I just didn't have any interest.

770
00:26:23,584 --> 00:26:23,894
Um-

771
00:26:23,924 --> 00:26:24,084
Yeah

772
00:26:24,834 --> 00:26:26,414
...
I don't think like that anymore.

773
00:26:26,464 --> 00:26:29,904
I was just very ignorant
about it, and it just, I don't

774
00:26:29,904 --> 00:26:31,164
know, never sat well with me.

775
00:26:31,614 --> 00:26:34,404
I have so many friends that are
bisexual, and I could care less.

776
00:26:34,984 --> 00:26:35,294
Yeah.

777
00:26:35,334 --> 00:26:39,964
Well, and you know, it's funny because,
you know, we grew up in the '80s and

778
00:26:39,964 --> 00:26:46,764
the '90s, and if you think back to all
the, even the soft core porn movies

779
00:26:46,934 --> 00:26:49,324
that we saw, uh, during those days-

780
00:26:49,374 --> 00:26:49,744
Mm-hmm

781
00:26:50,544 --> 00:26:54,624
it's very- The man is pleasuring the woman

782
00:26:54,804 --> 00:26:55,104
Mm-hmm

783
00:26:55,534 --> 00:26:58,624
That's every movie that you'll ever see
Yeah The man is pleasuring the woman.

784
00:26:58,934 --> 00:27:02,014
It doesn't revolve around male pleasure

785
00:27:02,114 --> 00:27:02,254
No

786
00:27:02,894 --> 00:27:06,534
And- No ... there's something very,
um... I think that's a big deal.

787
00:27:06,534 --> 00:27:11,354
I, I don't think that there's enough
talk about male pleasure, um, because-

788
00:27:11,464 --> 00:27:15,824
Because they, they think that just by
ejaculation that that's how you get it

789
00:27:16,264 --> 00:27:16,584
Yeah

790
00:27:16,684 --> 00:27:16,894
Yeah.

791
00:27:17,004 --> 00:27:17,844
No, I know Yeah Yeah.

792
00:27:18,574 --> 00:27:20,704
It's, um... They don't talk about it.

793
00:27:21,364 --> 00:27:23,494
And I think they don't... I
don't think... I think it's not

794
00:27:23,494 --> 00:27:25,194
talked about a lot is because

795
00:27:25,694 --> 00:27:27,524
you don't see men that way.

796
00:27:27,524 --> 00:27:30,804
You think of just, "Oh, they have a
dick, and they're just gonna pump it,

797
00:27:30,804 --> 00:27:33,734
and boom, they're gonna cum." Like,
there should be... There's no brain.

798
00:27:33,734 --> 00:27:35,124
There's no thought behind it

799
00:27:35,434 --> 00:27:35,684
Yeah, yeah

800
00:27:35,854 --> 00:27:41,194
And I think that's why that is not
talked about enough because, " Oh,

801
00:27:41,194 --> 00:27:42,564
y'all always have it in your brain.

802
00:27:42,654 --> 00:27:43,704
Oh, it is what it is.

803
00:27:43,704 --> 00:27:47,184
Y'all just look at women or whatever, a
hole as a hole, and not, like, anything

804
00:27:47,184 --> 00:27:49,614
to just come in," and it's not like that

805
00:27:49,844 --> 00:27:52,534
Well, and you know, the other, the
other coin, the other flip side of

806
00:27:52,534 --> 00:27:58,324
the coin is that, uh, everybody knows
that women are complicated creatures

807
00:27:58,324 --> 00:28:00,354
when it comes to sexual satisfaction

808
00:28:00,354 --> 00:28:00,784
Yes

809
00:28:00,964 --> 00:28:02,304
Uh, and every woman is different- Yes

810
00:28:02,374 --> 00:28:05,114
and every woman, most of the
time, is, is, i- you know, you

811
00:28:05,224 --> 00:28:06,594
g- y'all are like Bop It's.

812
00:28:06,704 --> 00:28:06,994
Mm-hmm

813
00:28:06,994 --> 00:28:10,544
You know, you gotta pull, and you gotta
yank, and you gotta twist and do all

814
00:28:10,544 --> 00:28:12,094
these things in order to get you there.

815
00:28:12,434 --> 00:28:17,114
And men are usually thought of
as simplistic creatures that will

816
00:28:17,114 --> 00:28:18,654
get hard when the wind blows.

817
00:28:18,914 --> 00:28:21,004
You yank a couple times,
and he's already coming.

818
00:28:21,064 --> 00:28:21,304
Yes You know?

819
00:28:21,304 --> 00:28:23,044
And, and it's normally very quick.

820
00:28:23,164 --> 00:28:23,304
Yeah

821
00:28:23,434 --> 00:28:24,044
You know what I'm saying?

822
00:28:24,044 --> 00:28:26,084
And these are the stereotypes out there.

823
00:28:26,374 --> 00:28:29,224
But realistically, we like
to, uh, be pleasured, too.

824
00:28:29,224 --> 00:28:29,834
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

825
00:28:30,004 --> 00:28:31,554
We like, we like a little bit.

826
00:28:31,584 --> 00:28:36,064
So with that, you guys out there,
I know that we're still new to it,

827
00:28:36,064 --> 00:28:39,324
and it's kinda like welcoming you
to a place that we just arrived at.

828
00:28:39,874 --> 00:28:43,844
But we put together a little
practical guide if you want to

829
00:28:44,144 --> 00:28:45,914
start exploring this, right?

830
00:28:46,844 --> 00:28:47,124
Yeah

831
00:28:47,224 --> 00:28:47,504
Yeah

832
00:28:47,604 --> 00:28:52,784
It's, um... You can, if you're curious,
so here's where we land practically.

833
00:28:53,184 --> 00:28:55,894
First, you're gonna have the conversation.

834
00:28:56,164 --> 00:28:57,934
Don't just surprise them.

835
00:28:57,964 --> 00:28:59,584
Yeah Let them know, you know?

836
00:28:59,584 --> 00:28:59,714
Don't

837
00:28:59,714 --> 00:29:00,344
cause trauma

838
00:29:00,434 --> 00:29:01,564
You need to have...

839
00:29:02,284 --> 00:29:08,004
Both of y'all need to be on the same, same
mindset, understand what you're doing.

840
00:29:08,634 --> 00:29:11,424
Um- And be very comfortable
with each other.

841
00:29:11,424 --> 00:29:13,234
Like, don't just spring it on them

842
00:29:13,754 --> 00:29:14,024
Yeah.

843
00:29:14,064 --> 00:29:16,764
And you know, if, if your
answer's a no, then it's a no.

844
00:29:16,764 --> 00:29:17,094
It's a no.

845
00:29:17,094 --> 00:29:17,484
If you're not ready-

846
00:29:17,484 --> 00:29:18,044
Yeah

847
00:29:18,164 --> 00:29:19,484
...
if you're not ready, you're not ready.

848
00:29:19,524 --> 00:29:19,944
Yeah.

849
00:29:19,944 --> 00:29:23,064
Uh, and, and you know, I don't know
when I'm gonna be ready, but, uh, I

850
00:29:23,064 --> 00:29:24,454
mean, it's definitely not tonight.

851
00:29:24,954 --> 00:29:28,664
Uh, but you know, it's, it's something
where the conversation, you just,

852
00:29:28,694 --> 00:29:31,524
you literally just heard it- You
do, yeah ... happen in real time.

853
00:29:31,634 --> 00:29:31,824
Yeah.

854
00:29:31,854 --> 00:29:36,654
This is a conversation between me and my
wife, and obviously there's more to it.

855
00:29:37,104 --> 00:29:41,224
Um, but you definitely wanna have
that conversation as much as possible.

856
00:29:41,254 --> 00:29:41,514
Yeah.

857
00:29:41,594 --> 00:29:43,524
And then after that, start slow.

858
00:29:43,714 --> 00:29:46,394
Now this is, this is information
that I had to research.

859
00:29:46,814 --> 00:29:49,544
External pressure on the perineum-

860
00:29:49,754 --> 00:29:50,194
Perineum

861
00:29:50,244 --> 00:29:53,584
...
the perineum is a low
commitment starting point.

862
00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:57,014
So it gives you a sense of whether there's
something there that's worth exploring,

863
00:29:57,474 --> 00:29:59,764
uh, further than going all the way in.

864
00:29:59,994 --> 00:30:00,314
You know what

865
00:30:00,314 --> 00:30:00,564
I mean?

866
00:30:00,964 --> 00:30:01,054
Yeah.

867
00:30:01,054 --> 00:30:06,244
And if you do go internal, just
remember, hygiene and preparation matter.

868
00:30:06,304 --> 00:30:06,774
Yeah.

869
00:30:06,774 --> 00:30:09,394
Short nails, um, gloves.

870
00:30:09,434 --> 00:30:09,604
Yeah.

871
00:30:09,954 --> 00:30:10,554
Lube.

872
00:30:10,654 --> 00:30:11,254
Always lube.

873
00:30:11,254 --> 00:30:11,954
Always lube.

874
00:30:12,604 --> 00:30:12,904
Always

875
00:30:12,904 --> 00:30:12,994
lube.

876
00:30:12,994 --> 00:30:13,874
And go slow.

877
00:30:14,434 --> 00:30:18,064
Check in and pay attention
to your partner's responses.

878
00:30:18,324 --> 00:30:21,914
Now this is for everything
sexual people, but I mean, the,

879
00:30:21,914 --> 00:30:22,894
at least paying attention- Yeah

880
00:30:22,894 --> 00:30:23,644
to your sexual partners.

881
00:30:23,644 --> 00:30:25,534
You don't have to use, you
know, gloves all the time, so.

882
00:30:25,534 --> 00:30:28,144
And you know, frankly, that's
actually, that's, that's good

883
00:30:28,144 --> 00:30:29,634
for fingering women as well.

884
00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:29,794
Like-

885
00:30:29,824 --> 00:30:30,154
Yes

886
00:30:30,154 --> 00:30:31,094
...
short nails.

887
00:30:31,364 --> 00:30:32,604
Make sure your hands-
Hydration ... are clean.

888
00:30:32,604 --> 00:30:32,854
Yeah.

889
00:30:33,284 --> 00:30:35,524
Clean under your nails,
you know, stuff like that.

890
00:30:35,524 --> 00:30:36,324
I said hydration.

891
00:30:36,354 --> 00:30:37,104
I meant hygiene.

892
00:30:37,414 --> 00:30:39,004
But hey, hydration's-
Hydration ... good too.

893
00:30:39,114 --> 00:30:40,984
Drink, drink, drink,
drink, drink lots of water.

894
00:30:41,794 --> 00:30:45,524
Definitely communication during is just
as important as communication before.

895
00:30:45,564 --> 00:30:49,119
I would figure this should
be like, uh- This should feel

896
00:30:49,119 --> 00:30:50,539
like an upgrade to intimacy.

897
00:30:50,689 --> 00:30:50,889
Yeah.

898
00:30:51,019 --> 00:30:54,389
Not something anyone is, like,
white-knuckling through and it's

899
00:30:54,389 --> 00:30:55,749
like, "Yeah, just do it already.

900
00:30:55,749 --> 00:30:56,939
Come on, let's do this." No, no, no.

901
00:30:57,359 --> 00:30:59,229
If it's not working, you stop.

902
00:30:59,469 --> 00:30:59,559
Yeah.

903
00:30:59,559 --> 00:31:00,199
Plain and simple.

904
00:31:00,259 --> 00:31:00,349
Yeah.

905
00:31:00,349 --> 00:31:02,869
If it's incredible, you
gotta talk about that, too.

906
00:31:03,059 --> 00:31:03,319
Yeah.

907
00:31:03,409 --> 00:31:05,099
Uh, so that's definitely
something that you

908
00:31:05,099 --> 00:31:05,219
wanna-

909
00:31:05,219 --> 00:31:05,439
Yeah, talk about

910
00:31:05,739 --> 00:31:06,899
what you like and what you didn't like.

911
00:31:07,009 --> 00:31:07,299
Yeah.

912
00:31:07,299 --> 00:31:07,619
Mm-hmm.

913
00:31:07,619 --> 00:31:10,969
And then when you're done talking
about it, hit us up on the-

914
00:31:10,969 --> 00:31:13,829
100% anonymous, Beyond
Monogamy confessional-

915
00:31:13,829 --> 00:31:14,129
Yes

916
00:31:14,179 --> 00:31:17,149
...
and let us know how that shit went-
Yes ... because I gots to know.

917
00:31:17,319 --> 00:31:17,459
Yeah.

918
00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:18,059
Okay?

919
00:31:18,319 --> 00:31:21,219
Now, before we get out of here,
we want to give a huge thanks, uh,

920
00:31:21,329 --> 00:31:23,309
to the listener who sent it in.

921
00:31:23,779 --> 00:31:25,069
Uh, it took guts.

922
00:31:25,149 --> 00:31:30,639
It is going to start a real conversation,
as you heard, in not only our household,

923
00:31:30,669 --> 00:31:32,119
but I'm sure plenty of households.

924
00:31:32,149 --> 00:31:32,609
I'm sure.

925
00:31:32,639 --> 00:31:34,909
And that's exactly why we
have this confessional.

926
00:31:35,119 --> 00:31:35,589
Yes.

927
00:31:35,939 --> 00:31:41,039
And you can drop your own confessional
at www.beyond-monogamy.com.

928
00:31:41,039 --> 00:31:44,769
It's completely anonymous, zero
judgment, and you just might

929
00:31:44,799 --> 00:31:46,449
end up on a quickie of your own.

930
00:31:46,479 --> 00:31:47,559
Hells yeah.

931
00:31:47,829 --> 00:31:52,479
Everything we do lives at
www- , uh, .beyond-monogamy.com.

932
00:31:52,749 --> 00:31:55,389
Full episodes, quickies, video
clips, our blog, our guest lineup,

933
00:31:55,419 --> 00:31:56,699
merch, all that good stuff.

934
00:31:56,759 --> 00:31:57,719
You've heard it a billion times.

935
00:31:57,719 --> 00:31:58,539
That's your hub.

936
00:31:58,929 --> 00:31:59,599
That's your home.

937
00:31:59,729 --> 00:32:00,139
Yes.

938
00:32:00,139 --> 00:32:02,399
And if you wanna catch us
streaming every Thursday on

939
00:32:02,519 --> 00:32:06,859
fullswapradio.com, we do two shows,
2:00 PM Central and 7:00 PM Central.

940
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:08,349
Come hang out with us.

941
00:32:08,409 --> 00:32:11,949
And There's a fun lineup of other
podcasters on that adult space.

942
00:32:11,989 --> 00:32:12,739
Totes.

943
00:32:13,169 --> 00:32:17,259
Now, listen, we have something
up that you do not wanna miss.

944
00:32:17,259 --> 00:32:21,879
We're gonna be live and in person at
Club Eden in San Antonio on June 20th.

945
00:32:22,869 --> 00:32:28,559
If you're here in Texas, in the area,
if you're within an hour or two drive-

946
00:32:28,559 --> 00:32:32,029
Mm-hmm ... you wanna come out there and,
uh, you know, this is your shot to come

947
00:32:32,029 --> 00:32:35,469
hang out with me and Pris in real life,
in the lifestyle, doing what we do.

948
00:32:35,809 --> 00:32:38,419
Details, as always, are
at beyond-monogamy.com.

949
00:32:38,479 --> 00:32:42,799
But also don't forget, you need a
membership to the club- Yes ... to get in.

950
00:32:42,799 --> 00:32:43,149
Yes.

951
00:32:43,149 --> 00:32:47,129
So all of that can be found at
Club Eden's website, which you

952
00:32:47,129 --> 00:32:49,219
can find at our Events tab-

953
00:32:49,629 --> 00:32:49,769
Mm-hmm

954
00:32:49,839 --> 00:32:50,609
...
at the website.

955
00:32:50,659 --> 00:32:51,749
You know, you know what it is.

956
00:32:51,779 --> 00:32:51,879
Yes.

957
00:32:52,749 --> 00:32:56,859
And wherever you're listening right now,
Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, please

958
00:32:56,939 --> 00:32:58,869
hit that follow and subscribe button.

959
00:32:58,869 --> 00:33:03,099
Leave us a five-star review and share this
episode with someone who needs to hear it.

960
00:33:03,469 --> 00:33:04,799
You know who that person is.

961
00:33:04,799 --> 00:33:08,979
Those things take 30 seconds,
and they mean everything to us.

962
00:33:08,979 --> 00:33:10,169
They help us grow in the show.

963
00:33:10,329 --> 00:33:11,059
Yes.

964
00:33:11,129 --> 00:33:11,599
Yes.

965
00:33:11,949 --> 00:33:13,599
And with that, we thank
you guys for listening.

966
00:33:13,599 --> 00:33:15,659
And as always, we will see you next week.

967
00:33:16,039 --> 00:33:16,269
Bye.

968
00:33:16,269 --> 00:33:16,329
Yeah.

969
00:33:16,329 --> 00:33:16,859
It's