QUICKIE: The Role of Labels in Ethical Non-Monogamy

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And today on our Wednesday quickie,

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we are discussing labels. Labels. Labels. Labels.

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You know, and we're not talking about those. Those little things that you put on.

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On little products that you sell in the store.

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Price labels. Oh, yeah, that's. Is that what those are called? Price labels?

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We're not talking about those kind of labels. We're talking about the labels that people

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put on themselves and put on others. In the lifestyle,

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not just the swinging lifestyle, but, you know, in. In ethical non

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monogamy as a whole, people utilize labels.

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Now, I've heard a lot of people complain about labels,

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and I've heard a lot of people that really seem to complain

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that the. That people aren't using labels. I've heard both ends of the spectrum.

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Okay. You know, I kind of see both sides of it because

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as a person who, when we started

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out, you know, we didn't really know about the lifestyle,

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and you kind of learn about it, and attaching labels to people

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or them attaching labels to themselves. Right.

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Makes it a little bit easier for you to figure out if they

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are what you're looking for. Okay. You know what

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I mean? Yeah. Dynamic wise. Dynamic wise. Yeah. I mean, if. If somebody

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comes up to us and says, well, you know, we're big into the hot wife,

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so, you know, I'm. Or. Or some guy comes up and says, well,

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I'm a cuckold, you know, okay. So that's

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a label that they've just affixed to themselves. And we can tell whether or

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not that's up our alley. If somebody says,

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well, I'm really big, you know, into BDSM and I'm, you know,

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into impact play and that sort of thing, well, then we

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know if that's something that's a label that they're holding on to, we know that.

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That, you know, we can get down with that. Or, you know, if that's not

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our interest, whether we're physically attracted to them or not, you know?

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Yeah. It kind of distinguishes what. What they are, what they present themselves

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at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it just makes it, you know, for a newbie,

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it makes it a lot easier to figure out, is this person somebody that

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I'm going to be wasting my time with or not? Yeah. You know. Yeah.

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Now, as time goes on and you

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go away from sexual conquests

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and you more or less go for friends and

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you're looking for connections, you find that those labels really don't

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really do much. Like, sometimes there's no need

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for it. There's really no need for it. You know, I think right now,

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in our journey where we're at, labels don't really make a difference.

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No. For us. No. You know, whether you're into

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different kinks, whether you're this or that, you know, whether you're

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poly, whether you're solo poly, whether you're, you know,

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engaged, whatever. Whatever label you're putting yourself

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into. Yeah. It doesn't really matter. We can still be friends. Yeah.

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You know, of course, a lot of the labels that you hear, you'll hear

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the basic ones. When we were growing up, you know,

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you had your basic straight, gay,

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bisexual. Those were really the only labels that. They really were with.

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But as time has passed, there's so many now.

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There's a lot. We were just talking about it because I was like,

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what's pansexual? Yeah. And you're like,

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well, they don't see gender. And I was like, well, then, isn't that bisexual?

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But I guess bisexual means specifically the two genders,

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you know, I mean, I. Think it kind of some.

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Sometimes these labels are a bit confusing.

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Repetitious, I was gonna say. Oh, they're confusing. They can

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be. They can be. Let me see if I can.

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If I can pull up some here as far as the. The labels

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are concerned, because there's just so many different

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ones out there. I know when

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we were poly, that was really where I first learned what demisexual

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meant. And I only really knew that because that's

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pretty much the best bucket I could fit myself

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into. You know, I wasn't transactional. I needed connection.

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I wanted that. You know, demisexual is when

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you're experiencing sexual feelings and attraction only after developing

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a close emotional relationship and not on the basis of first impressions

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or physical characteristics. And that.

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That label, when I first got in, when we first

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got into poly. Yeah. Everybody was asking, well,

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what's your dynamic? What do you, you know, what. What are you

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this or that? You know, and it's like, you know, you'd hear, oh, well,

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I'm pansexual. I'm. I'm this. I'm that different. And so we had to really look

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into that. And that was the one. That was

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the one that I really could get down with better.

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Pansexual is one you hear a lot of.

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Pansexual or pansexuality is the romantic,

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emotional, and or sexual attraction to people regardless

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of their gender. Now, this is one that we were talking about the other day

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because you had said, well, why, why. Why can't that just be bisexual?

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So I get it. I guess bisexual is only for female to male,

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or. I mean, bisexual is just those two genders. And pansexual.

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Does any gender. So transgender, all of

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that? I. I would think so. I mean, reading onto this, it says, like everyone

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else, pansexual people may be attracted to some people and not

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others, but the gender of the person doesn't matter. Okay,

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now you brought up a really good question,

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which was, well, what's the difference between pansexual

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and bisexual? Bisexual sees the gender.

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I mean, that's really the only way that I can. I can figure out the

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difference, because realistically, a bisexual person will go for

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a man or a woman because they. They play both ends of the spectrum.

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A pansexual person will go for either a man

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or a woman, but won't see them as a man or a woman. They'll see

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the person themselves. You know, they. They fall

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for the person. So, you know,

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you can be. You know, you can basically.

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Yeah. You can basically just fall in love with the person or really be attracted

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to the person themselves rather than the gender. Right.

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So I. I always thought that was. That was interesting. That is kind of cool.

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Yeah. Yeah. And I know that there are a lot of

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other terms out there. We used to know a whole lot more when we were

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poly. And. Well, there's like.

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I. So I didn't even know about a lot of these, like, pan texture.

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I think you just happened to explain it to me a couple years ago,

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because I had no idea what that is or what demisexual was. Yeah.

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Yeah. So there's. There's a lot of lgbtq. Yes.

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Phrases and labels. Yeah. And we.

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We know this, but here's just a few of them. So bisexual

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is sexual. Attracting. Sexual attraction to your gender

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and other genders. Pansexual is attraction

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to people regardless of gender. Okay. A lot of times,

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pansexual and bisexual are used interchangeably. Yeah, I was going to say there's.

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Omnisexual, whereas pansexual is attracted to

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people regardless of gender. Omnisexual folks

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see gender and are still attracted to a variety of people.

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What?

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Omnisexual. Omnisexual. Think of it like omnivore.

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Okay. You've got carnivore. Okay. You've got the one where they eat

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the plants. Herbivore. Herbivore. And then you've got the omnivore, which is what us humans

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are. We eat both plants and animals, right?

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Yes. So omnisexual.

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I eat both men and women.

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Omnisexual folks see gender but

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are still attracted to a variety of people. Now tell me what

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the difference is between omnisexual and bisexual. I have no. I have no

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idea. Yeah, no, I have no idea. I'm gonna say I'm omnisexual, then you're

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omnisexual. Yeah. So you see gender, but you're attracted to both. Yeah.

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Okay. I want to be fancy. You want to have

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a fancy term, Fancy label. I don't want to be high like everybody else.

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And then there's another one here called polysexual.

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That's where you have attraction to multiple genders or types

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of people. And it could be considered an umbrella term under

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which you'd find bisexual and pansexual. So I, So I'm.

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So I keep forgetting that we have so many genders now.

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There's, there, there's, there's a lot of different labels. There was only

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male and female. Right, right, right. Well, I mean, we grew up during

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the Cold war era, so things were a little different. No one ever

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saw. And I'm all for. I love, I love it that we have a lot

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of genders now. But my brain, I think the terms are very old school

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in my head. Yeah. Because you keep saying like other

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genders and I'm like, well, there's only two. There's only male and female.

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But that is not true. That is not true. There are more than one gender

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now. There are, there are or always have been. I just. The world is

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now catching up. I think everybody's catching up. Yeah.

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So my apologies. And you

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know, you have to excuse us for ignorance because we're

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still learning too. I mean, there's a lot of ever changing

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stuff out there. You remember when we were poly and we

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had different Facebook groups. It was before we moved and we

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were really kind of. People started reaching out to us

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and they were like, hey, you know, you're doing a real good job of kind

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of educating People of poly and ethical non monogamy.

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And you're also Hispanic. We need to

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look into more Hispanic polyamorous

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groups. Yeah. And things like that. I thought that was interesting. And that was

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the first time that somebody had told me about the term Latin X.

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And I remember sitting there and you and I were talking about it for quite

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some time and it's like, well, what is that? And the idea here was it

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was. It was basically the Spanish language. They were trying to

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modernize it because the Spanish language still has the feminine

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and masculine pronouns of it all and Latino. Right.

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And they want. So you take the o or the ah off

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of it and you put an X there and it's Latinx and.

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Or Latin. And so it's still

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used. But unfortunately that term did not catch on

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as well. So I have heard it referred to before

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and even recently some people still drop

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that term, but for the most part it just did not catch on.

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It just didn't. It just didn't happen. No, I mean, people use it sometimes,

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but yeah, no, it didn't catch on. Yeah, no, that's a. I'm gonna

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be omnivore. No, Omnivore. Is that what you're are?

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Is it omnivore? Omnivore already? Wait, what is sexual?

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Omnisexual. Omnisexual. Remember, it has to end in the word sexual.

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Now, I had a really good friend of ours who was asexual.

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And asexual meant no sexual feelings whatsoever.

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Just didn't have a pull towards either gender and didn't really feel sexual

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feelings. Just didn't have it. I don't know if you remember, I had a

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real good friend who. Who was like. I can see that. I think that's

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more prominent than it is spoken about.

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And I think because a lot of people who are asexual don't

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really care to talk about it. It's not an interest of theirs,

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obviously, so they just don't really feel like they want to talk about it.

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So get that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we're not in a position to

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not talk about our sex life because this is what. It's kind of what we

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do. It is. It's what we do. It is what we do. So we kind

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of have to talk about it. Yeah, we have to talk about it because this

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is what we do. So, you know, realistically, and. And you know,

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there's just so many. There's so many damn labels out there. I mean, there is

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just a lot of labels and you really have

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to kind of Ask yourself, do you adhere to labels or

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do you not? Obviously we respect others who label

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themselves, you know. Yes. If you're

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one of those people who, who you define yourself by the

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label and you're very adamant on that. Yes,

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we'll, we'll respect that. You know, that's fine.

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We'll absolutely respect that. But you know,

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my personal belief is I, I, I'm, I'm not a big fan of labels.

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Now, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it. And I have been known

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to throw myself a label or two every now and then when asked.

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Like I said, I, I did really connect more

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with demisexual than anything else. But as far as

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labels go, I don't feel like I'm defined by whatever

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label I've ever thrown at myself. Because I'm

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growing, I'm growing as a person. Yeah. I'm trying

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to grow in every aspect of my life. And as

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you grow, you change. And as you change,

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you find different interests, you find different things. And realistically,

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why would you want to define yourself by putting

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yourself in a box? Yeah. You know, and, and saying, this is what I

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am, you know, this word defines me. Yes.

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Are there any, are there. But there's different labels. These are labels for people.

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Right. But I mean, there's like, you still have labels within the

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community, like open relationship labels. Yeah.

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00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:16,330
Dynamic label. Dynamically. I mean, everything realistically is a

228
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:20,330
label. Now those people I've, I've met those people that are so

229
00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:24,410
against labels that they refuse to define themselves in any way. So you can't even

230
00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:27,950
ask them what their dynam is. They'll just be like, I'm just

231
00:15:28,450 --> 00:15:31,870
here for fun, dude. You know, and it's like, well, what kind

232
00:15:32,370 --> 00:15:36,350
of fun are you into? All kinds. Soft swap, full swap.

233
00:15:36,850 --> 00:15:39,830
Yeah. They're all, and they're all labels. They're all labels that we adhere to.

234
00:15:39,910 --> 00:15:43,670
And it's not so much what we do as much as,

235
00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:47,270
as it is how we define ourselves in the community.

236
00:15:47,590 --> 00:15:51,880
Yeah. Look at this. There are labels for people for,

237
00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:56,240
so LS is lifestyle. Right. There's also club

238
00:15:56,740 --> 00:16:00,160
goer or event only. Those are people who only play

239
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:04,600
in clubs or parties. No kidding. There's hotel takeovers or house parties,

240
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:08,400
popular LS events, and people only play at those. And so

241
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:12,400
that's a label. Yeah. Voyeur. Voyeur or exhibitionist?

242
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:16,560
That's us people. But that's, but see, that's us. But that's not

243
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:20,000
just us. No. Right. And so this is what I'm Saying, like, how can

244
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,110
you. We're all the event social scene labels.

245
00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:29,700
Sounds about right. Yeah. I didn't really. I mean, I knew there was a lot

246
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,300
of this. Look at this one. This one is monogamish.

247
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:36,740
A mostly monogamous couple that allows for some outside sexual

248
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,900
activity. That's mind blowing, man. Like, I, I. There's a name

249
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,100
for everything. Monogamish. And when I was in high school,

250
00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:49,790
and I told you this, when I was in high school, I was absolutely

251
00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:53,590
polyamorous. But I didn't know it had a name. Yeah.

252
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:57,990
And I swear, when we became poly. And I started poly

253
00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:01,390
in your head, well, obviously. How can I, how else can I. Be like,

254
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:04,310
you weren't poly, like, dating somebody and being like, hey, I want. To date this,

255
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:08,430
so understand, just because I'm not actively dating doesn't

256
00:17:08,930 --> 00:17:11,950
mean I'm not poly. Oh, I got you. You know what I mean? If you

257
00:17:12,450 --> 00:17:15,630
have a polycentric mind. Yeah. And that's how

258
00:17:16,130 --> 00:17:19,470
your mind is. That's what you are. I got you. You know? Yeah. So whether

259
00:17:19,970 --> 00:17:23,270
or not I, I mean, there's. I don't think there's anybody that can really be

260
00:17:23,770 --> 00:17:26,430
poly in high school. There's just too many insecurities.

261
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:30,750
Everybody cheats. You know, it's one of those things. Like, high school

262
00:17:30,829 --> 00:17:34,590
relationships are just flaky. But I knew back then

263
00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:38,470
that I wanted to have multiple relationships with

264
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:42,470
multiple people. Yes. And I didn't. I, I remember sitting back

265
00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:46,520
going, what is wrong, wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy

266
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,680
with where I'm at, who I'm with, et cetera, et cetera?

267
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:54,840
And I had no idea that this was a thing. Yes.

268
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:58,840
And then when we started exploring Polly is when I sat back and I realized.

269
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,360
I remember looking through a book, and it was like looking through a

270
00:18:02,860 --> 00:18:07,080
prehistoric book that broke all of these different labels.

271
00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:11,120
Yes. Yeah. And it's like, well, if you like this, then you fit into this

272
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:14,680
box. Yes, I remember. Yeah. And I remember thinking, God,

273
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:19,160
that is. I didn't, I really didn't know that there was that many

274
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:23,240
labels to anything, because even in the poly

275
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:27,440
world, we were, we were a lot of. There was

276
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,440
a lot of kitchen table poly. Right. And that's.

277
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:34,880
Those are all labels. Those are all labels. How do you poly? Well, this is

278
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:38,330
my, this is my poly. This is what I am. Yeah. And, and there's,

279
00:18:38,830 --> 00:18:41,970
there's just different. You got your solo poly, your, your kitchen table poly,

280
00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:45,890
your. Gosh, I can't even remember them all. I used to know them all,

281
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:49,410
and I can't remember now. Well, I mean, geez, baby,

282
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:53,410
how many are there? You know, there's. There's a lot. It's like one of those

283
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:56,930
scientific boards that you get that has, like, the. The.

284
00:18:57,330 --> 00:19:00,930
What is it called? A scientific, like, wording for, like, water and all that.

285
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:04,740
Oh, my God. Are you talking about the. The elements,

286
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,140
the periodic table? We need a table like that of just labels.

287
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:13,260
Yeah, I think we can put that together.

288
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:18,460
I'm. I'm pretty sure, you know, I was. Never one for

289
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:22,740
labels, but definitely when

290
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,220
I came out as bi, I was like, yep, I'm taking that one. Well,

291
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,530
you know, and. And we do it in the vanilla

292
00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:34,450
world, too. We do. Like, I mean, one of the first. One of the first

293
00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:38,410
arguments you and I ever had was because you wanted the title of girlfriend,

294
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,770
and I was riff. Yeah, but it's a label.

295
00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:45,690
Title is a label, and you wanted the title of girlfriend, and I wanted.

296
00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:49,050
To give you a friend and wanted to get stabbed.

297
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,410
You know, stop being violent.

298
00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:59,260
It's unnecessary. I wanted the title as girlfriend,

299
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,620
and I got the title as wife. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you did.

300
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:08,060
As hot wife. As hot wife. What? You. Yeah, you've held on to

301
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,100
a lot of titles here. I have. And. And. But you know what brings up

302
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,620
the whole label talk is recently, because you don't

303
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:20,340
like polyamory, as you could tell by the I.

304
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,860
So I have a lot of friends. We have a lot of friends that are

305
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:25,480
poly. And I am so happy for you guys. Y' all make it look so,

306
00:20:25,630 --> 00:20:29,070
so easy. So great. And it was.

307
00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:32,550
It's nice that I'm. I get to see y' all happy. Yeah. Yeah.

308
00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:36,430
It was not for me. I am not that person. I will share

309
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:39,470
my husband's dick, but I will not share his time.

310
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:43,950
But. And. But we

311
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:47,910
have. I mean, we've spoken about. I'm. And I'm not saying that we're going

312
00:20:48,410 --> 00:20:51,790
to, but I'm saying we. We've spoken about this, and we've always said

313
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:56,580
we don't need to put labels on it. If there's somebody that wants to

314
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,900
hang out with us and spend time with us and that sort of thing,

315
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,700
we don't have to. We're just call it that. This is my girlfriend. We're just

316
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,260
going to call it that. Hanging out. That's right. This is a friend who hangs

317
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,860
out with us. If you use the P word around me, I'm like, yeah,

318
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:11,380
no, that's not happening. Polly. Yes. Like,

319
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,300
no. No, golly.

320
00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:18,700
Nope. You are. You are traumatized. We have really good Friends

321
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,270
that are in a poly relationship and they are thriving.

322
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,510
Yeah, they really are. Very much so thriving. You know, I, I,

323
00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:31,070
I will say I like where we are right now because

324
00:21:31,570 --> 00:21:34,590
I feel like we're in the middle of, of,

325
00:21:34,830 --> 00:21:38,110
of not dating others and the

326
00:21:38,610 --> 00:21:42,070
poly world, like, we're, we're right in the middle because

327
00:21:42,570 --> 00:21:46,110
we have this friends with benefits situation that we

328
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,440
seek out. Yes. And so we get that connection.

329
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,120
We get to enjoy time with others and

330
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:58,520
do that whole thing under the friend label.

331
00:21:59,020 --> 00:22:02,120
Yes. And we get to have sex with these friends.

332
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,960
We have sex. Yes.

333
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,640
Yeah. You know, I, I just, I like where we're at right

334
00:22:11,140 --> 00:22:14,800
now. I think it's working out. I, I like that we don't have to sit

335
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:18,520
back and go, oh, well, this is a label. This is a, you know.

336
00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:22,720
Yeah. A good example is there's, there's somebody who

337
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,680
we're friends with, you and I, and we both like her and

338
00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:30,520
she spends time with us, you know, and just so happen to have

339
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:34,160
sex with her. Yeah. And she's, she's a really good friend. She's a very cool

340
00:22:34,660 --> 00:22:37,680
person. Yeah. And, you know, we could easily put

341
00:22:38,180 --> 00:22:41,450
labels on it and we could explore that whole arena and I'm

342
00:22:41,950 --> 00:22:45,610
sure that would be an interesting conversation. But I feel like if we

343
00:22:46,110 --> 00:22:49,730
label it, it's going to change everything.

344
00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:53,330
And I don't want things to change because I like the way it is.

345
00:22:53,570 --> 00:22:57,490
I feel. It feels great. It's perfect. We are friends who have

346
00:22:57,990 --> 00:23:00,770
fun. Yeah. And if we define it any further than that,

347
00:23:00,850 --> 00:23:04,290
it'll get weird. I think it will. Yeah. I'm not into

348
00:23:04,790 --> 00:23:08,290
weird. I mean, outside of my regular kinks, I'm not into

349
00:23:08,790 --> 00:23:12,580
weird. That's not weird. No. Everybody likes that. Those. Yeah, yeah,

350
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,580
yeah, yeah. I just, you know, I, I like the fact that we just don't

351
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,580
adhere to labels. And let me tell you something, ladies. Don't refer

352
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,940
to me as your, as your guy or your booang or anything like

353
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,380
that because. Whoa, forget it, yo.

354
00:23:28,980 --> 00:23:32,980
Because I, I have seen people

355
00:23:34,340 --> 00:23:36,660
use that term.

356
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:41,430
Not towards me. Don't give me that look. Not towards me.

357
00:23:41,990 --> 00:23:46,670
But I've seen people use those terms incorrectly

358
00:23:47,170 --> 00:23:51,510
with people, and I've seen couples go

359
00:23:53,189 --> 00:23:55,990
crazy over that. Oh, yeah. Not in a good way, obviously.

360
00:23:56,070 --> 00:23:59,710
Yeah. So it's just one of those things, like, you gotta watch. Watch what

361
00:24:00,210 --> 00:24:03,710
you say. Watch what labels you throw out there. There are certain labels.

362
00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:08,780
I mean, there are certain things that people call you that are our friends and

363
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,820
in a group and call you certain things. And I'm okay with that.

364
00:24:13,060 --> 00:24:15,740
But somebody that I don't know coming out and being like,

365
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,380
oh, look at my boot.

366
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:24,300
What? Excuse me. Ah, no.

367
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:28,500
Yeah. No. Yeah. No. I've won those labels. These are.

368
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,410
This is. This is. These are my. My things

369
00:24:32,910 --> 00:24:36,650
for you. I just don't understand the territorialize.

370
00:24:37,210 --> 00:24:40,970
I know. That belong to you. Like, you don't have to say it

371
00:24:41,470 --> 00:24:44,690
like that. You. You know, here we are, guys. We're here.

372
00:24:45,190 --> 00:24:48,690
We're. We're recording this podcast. We're literally in a room by ourselves.

373
00:24:49,190 --> 00:24:52,890
There's nobody here. And she's telling me as if I'm,

374
00:24:53,390 --> 00:24:56,210
like, trying to do.

375
00:24:56,710 --> 00:24:59,700
So. I'm not. You don't have to get mad at me. Like, you don't have

376
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,580
to give me the. The lecture. I know, honey, you're fine. You don't have

377
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,500
to get territorial with me, lady. You're so. I'm aware.

378
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,700
Such a cutie. I'm aware I belong to you. My goodness. But you share

379
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,780
me just the same as I share you. And I will say

380
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,580
that, you know, I. You are very territorial, but you've opened

381
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,860
up your mind to some new things. And I

382
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:27,010
think, like I said, I really like where we're at right now. I think.

383
00:25:27,510 --> 00:25:30,890
I think things are going very well. Yeah. Right now. And the

384
00:25:31,390 --> 00:25:33,970
things that we're exploring and the time that we're having, it's just a lot of

385
00:25:34,470 --> 00:25:38,290
fun. I think so. I think it's nice. It's going down a nice little road.

386
00:25:38,450 --> 00:25:42,290
Yeah. No bumps. No bumps. No bumps.

387
00:25:43,170 --> 00:25:45,250
But no. No extra labels.

388
00:25:45,890 --> 00:25:49,330
Extra labels. And we're trying to stay away from all labels. Yes.

389
00:25:49,890 --> 00:25:53,530
The only person that I give a label to is you. Yes. And that's.

390
00:25:53,770 --> 00:25:55,050
That's Crazy Bitch.

391
00:25:57,290 --> 00:26:00,250
I call her my wife, everybody. It's true.

392
00:26:00,890 --> 00:26:03,210
I let everybody know that she is my wife.

393
00:26:04,650 --> 00:26:08,010
But I will say that if

394
00:26:08,510 --> 00:26:10,410
you are new to the lifestyle,

395
00:26:11,930 --> 00:26:16,490
it's understandable if you find labels helpful

396
00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:20,570
because they. They were helpful when we started. They are. They are.

397
00:26:21,070 --> 00:26:24,330
They're very helpful. Definitely helpful when we were. They're helpful.

398
00:26:24,550 --> 00:26:27,830
They are. It helps us as. As well

399
00:26:27,910 --> 00:26:31,150
figure out, you know, maybe this is something that we might not

400
00:26:31,650 --> 00:26:34,990
be into, but that doesn't mean that we can't be friends, you know? And that's

401
00:26:35,490 --> 00:26:39,070
the big difference between us then and us now us.

402
00:26:39,570 --> 00:26:42,990
Then we would have seen an attractive couple and started talking to

403
00:26:43,490 --> 00:26:46,110
them, and then they would have put certain labels that we didn't agree with on

404
00:26:46,610 --> 00:26:49,270
them, and we would have been, okay, well, it was nice meeting you guys.

405
00:26:49,770 --> 00:26:51,710
And then we would have walked away and we would have never talked to them

406
00:26:52,210 --> 00:26:55,990
again because sexual conquest was our goal

407
00:26:56,150 --> 00:26:59,990
back then. It's different now. Now we're looking for

408
00:27:00,490 --> 00:27:03,950
friends. And what we realize is we can be friends with a bevy

409
00:27:04,450 --> 00:27:07,910
of different personalities and people and their dynamics and

410
00:27:08,410 --> 00:27:11,910
their wants and we don't have to participate.

411
00:27:12,410 --> 00:27:15,270
No, we don't have to be a part of that. We just grow in a

412
00:27:15,770 --> 00:27:18,870
community. We can just be friends with whomever.

413
00:27:19,110 --> 00:27:23,510
And I think that's really cool because you learn a

414
00:27:24,010 --> 00:27:28,910
lot. Yeah. So I, I really, really liked

415
00:27:29,410 --> 00:27:32,550
this topic because we were talking about it the other day and it just

416
00:27:33,050 --> 00:27:36,590
kind of got the, the old wheel rotating in my head about

417
00:27:37,470 --> 00:27:41,270
labels and, and how it applies, how new people

418
00:27:41,770 --> 00:27:44,590
would look at labels and, and you know, I'm, I'm not saying that they're bad

419
00:27:44,670 --> 00:27:48,360
at all. I just feel like for

420
00:27:48,860 --> 00:27:52,200
us personally, the labels just, they don't do it for us. I don't

421
00:27:52,700 --> 00:27:55,160
even like the label of swinger. It's kind of hard for that.

422
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,880
No, no. A swinger. I had another couple tell

423
00:27:59,380 --> 00:28:02,760
me this once. They said, you know, we really don't like the term swinger because

424
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:06,280
it's rooted into a very 70s old

425
00:28:06,780 --> 00:28:09,320
school way of thinking. We just don't like Lifestyler.

426
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,770
Yeah, we say lifestyler. Um,

427
00:28:13,890 --> 00:28:17,450
I don't know, there's just, I, I, I, I just don't really care

428
00:28:17,950 --> 00:28:21,570
to, to label us like that. I think that we're just friendly people

429
00:28:22,070 --> 00:28:25,530
who like to have sex with our friends, you know, like what we do.

430
00:28:26,030 --> 00:28:29,090
We're the norm. That's right. We're just friends. Just be friends.

431
00:28:29,650 --> 00:28:33,650
So anyways, you know, I, if you,

432
00:28:33,730 --> 00:28:38,090
if you find this episode interesting,

433
00:28:38,590 --> 00:28:42,770
if you maybe have extra labels that you weren't,

434
00:28:43,010 --> 00:28:46,330
weren't listed on this show and maybe you want to explain to

435
00:28:46,830 --> 00:28:50,090
us about, please reach out to us, you know, because there's a lot that out

436
00:28:50,590 --> 00:28:53,370
there that we don't know about and we're always trying to learn more and you

437
00:28:53,870 --> 00:28:55,770
know, you want to be seen, by all means, you know how to reach out

438
00:28:56,270 --> 00:28:59,770
to us, find us on our social medias. We have a phone number I'm sure

439
00:29:00,270 --> 00:29:02,370
you could find on our social media as well.

440
00:29:04,050 --> 00:29:07,490
And you know, I, I appreciate you guys joining us this week.

441
00:29:07,990 --> 00:29:11,780
You know, we, we really appreciate you guys listening in. As you

442
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,700
may have noticed, my beloved co host here, she's,

443
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,620
she's actually a little under the weather. So if you hear a lot of

444
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,180
me talking, you know, it's, it's apologies,

445
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,420
but she is, she is just a tad bit under the weather, and we didn't.

446
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,340
She was adamant about not canceling the show. Yes. We can't count. No. So she

447
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,460
was gonna. She was gonna tough it out. So I really appreciate you joining me

448
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,310
today so that it was. It wasn't just me alone talking. No, I slept

449
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all day. That's wonderful. And, you know, I'm pretty sure that

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everybody at Podcast Plan, along with me,

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00:29:46,150 --> 00:29:49,590
wishes for your speedy recovery. And I hope that you get

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better very, very soon, especially before the weekend, because I am

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looking. Yes. To smash some papas. Yeah,

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we're gonna smash some papas. Yes, we are. So, anyways, thank much you so,

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so much for listening to us this week, and we will catch you guys next