QUICKIE: Invitations, Expectations, and the Fear of Missing Out

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only.

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We explore topics surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships,

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and related subjects in an open and candid manner. Please be

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advised that we are not licensed marriage or sex therapists and

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we invite you to settle in and enjoy the show.

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And today I wanted

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to talk specifically about something on

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our quickie today. Events.

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Events and fomo.

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Okay. Yeah, yeah. So for a lot of new people out there

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who don't really know, whenever you,

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you know, you get immersed in the community, you'll realize that there

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are a lot of community events.

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Yes. One thing that we had

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to learn right off the bat was if you really want to get to know

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a lot of people in a very short amount of time,

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you go to an event and the fear

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there is always that you're going to,

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I guess, be excluded or ignored.

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I know that was one of the big fears that we had when we would

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go to different events was that we wouldn't be,

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I don't know, included or people would look at us funny

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and things like that. Oh, because it happened. It happened a few times,

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but it's not on the person's part or

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the event part. It's also us. Like, we were very shy, so we would

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get in a corner, we would sit down. We wouldn't really,

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like, people would be talking and maybe they'd smile at us.

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But nobody would be as inclusive as some of the groups that we're

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in now are. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it. That was

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always really one of the big worries

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because it had happened in the past was

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going to these events if that was going to happen again. One thing I did

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notice was there are a lot more people now

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that seem to really be welcoming,

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inviting. They'll walk up to them, to other people

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and introduce themselves. Yeah. I mean,

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even when we're at places and we see a new person,

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we'll introduce them to the people that we know so far.

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Yeah. And then it kind of just grows from there.

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People get to meet people and it just kind of.

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Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it is a. It's a little bit.

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It's a little bit nerve wracking. It's a little bit scary.

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It's Daunting. Yeah. Daunting. Yes.

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It can be daunting. Yes. You know what's.

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What. What people really need to know, though,

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is that while those specific events

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are usually open to everybody

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in the lifestyle, you'll find that there are

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other events that will happen, whether they be

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birthday parties or house parties or things like that you

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may not get invited to right away. Yeah.

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Or at all. Yes. Those things are more private.

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Yeah. They can only invite a certain amount of

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people. Yeah. And usually it's people that

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they know or somehow come across a.

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A limited list of people to invite. Yes.

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And so I think that was one of the things that I used

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to get very insecure about was not getting invited

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to stuff. Yeah. I mean, it's. It's. It still hurts.

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It's very hurtful, but not an intentional

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on their part. Hurtful. Yeah. It's just you. You get inside

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yourself, you're like, oh, my goodness, why didn't they invite me? Do they not like

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me? I mean, I have moments like that because I'll

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see women events out,

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and I'm like, I didn't get invited to that. Yeah. You know?

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Yeah. But then I sit back and I'm

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like, is it. It's okay to not get invited? And would you have

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really gone? Because, you know, like, for me, it's not even

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that. It's like, I have to get dressed and I have to drive and,

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you know, so. Yeah. Yeah. I've been there. You know,

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it's. I think for me, and it is. It's a lot

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of fomo. A lot of fomo. Fear of missing out.

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And I think for. For me,

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you know, I had those feelings when I was. When we first started

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in the. In the lifestyle and the groups,

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and I remember thinking, gosh, you know, we're never gonna

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get invited to stuff. Oh, yeah. I remember

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when we hadn't even, like, gone to the clubs,

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and we were like, wow, look at all these people. They're having so much fun.

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No one invited us. Yeah. Yeah. When we first started,

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and I remember you, like, looking at Facebook and

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being like, I'm not. I'm not getting on Facebook for this weekend. Because I know

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there's a lot of things happening and we can't go to them. Yeah. And we.

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And I felt like, you know, it was one of those things where we

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just don't get invited. Now what's funny is we

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still kind of don't, but we do. Yeah.

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So we get invited to stuff, but there's still a lot of stuff

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that we don't get invited to. Oh, yeah. And I know that

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a large portion of it revolves around where we

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live, specifically. Yes. Because where we live is

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an hour away from everything. Yeah.

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You know, from. From pretty much everybody. From. It's an hour away from the area

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that we like to be at. Yeah. But only 20 minutes away

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from another area. So. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.

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Like, we're in between. We like to go to the

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area that's an hour away. And, like, we usually make a trip so people

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know how far we live, and they're like, oh,

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man. You know, y'all. It's really far for y'all.

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But we've made trips. Yeah. I don't think people know that we make trips,

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because I think someone just mentioned that to us, that they're like, oh, wow,

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you live in Buda. And I'm like, yeah. And we always drive

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to the other city. Yeah. So, yeah. And it's

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like, hip. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know,

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that's. That's one thing that I had really kind of.

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It messed with my head early on because I remember thinking,

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God, nobody wants to. To hang out. Nobody likes us. Nobody likes us.

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Nobody wants to invite us. And now you know it's not the case. And now

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I know that's not the case. And where I really found that out was we

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had tried to do a small event at our

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house. And of course, it's our house. We can't. We don't

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have very much room. Yeah. And so we decided we

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were going to invite three couples that we knew and three couples

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that we didn't know but wanted to get to know.

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Right. And I remember us

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going through the list and going, who do we want to invite? Who's going to

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be there? And having to make that decision and

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then go, I wonder if they're going to be able to show up.

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Yeah, it's so. I don't care about that.

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You made it more nervous for me than anything. Well, yeah, I'm so.

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I'm not. So I decided I'm not doing events anymore. Like, I'm not.

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But I am not putting together events anymore because logistically,

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it's a nightmare. No, you're not putting events personally at your home.

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I'm not gonna do it at all. Like, I mean, we had a meet and

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greet here, and that was amazing. Yeah.

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Yeah, it was all right. Yeah. Like, a lot of people came from,

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like, all the surrounding areas.

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Yeah. That first time. Yeah. So I was like, okay,

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yeah, we can definitely do that. We're gonna have to do that again. Well,

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I mean, that's gonna be all you. I can't. I can't do it. I cannot

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plan events. It's so stressful.

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Is that. It is so stressful for me. I am too much of an overthinker.

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I don't have fun. You don't have fun. I don't have fun

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because I feel like I have to interact with a lot of people. When you're

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hosting, it's pretty much. That's what it is. So it's. I mean, I have fun

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because I get to talk to people, but I don't get to, like,

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relax, you know? So that's the

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only thing. If I can. If I can have something and

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then just have an assistant, that'd be great. And have an assistant,

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that would be awesome. But, yeah, I get a lot of FOMO

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sometimes. But, yeah, you know, I.

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There's a lot of things that I'd like to be at. I'd like to be

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at things every week, and if I could.

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Yeah, there's events happening all

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over the place, and I feel like our calendar fills up fairly quickly,

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and we have a big family. We have a big. And we're, like, in the

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midst of school endings, so it's super busy

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for us. Graduations and all sorts of taxes,

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events. Yeah, just everything. So, like, we fit stuff.

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We're booked already for, like, two months.

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Yeah. Yeah. For two months. Yeah. So like, the whole rest

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of this month and a little bit of. Yeah.

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Yeah, that sounds fun.

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Totally. Yeah. Totally fun. That's exciting.

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Absolutely exciting. So much. So you

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want to be included or you don't want to be included? I mean,

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what's. What's. What's the problem here? That's the. That's the thing.

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I just want to be invited. You want to be invited? Well,

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I'm going to invite you to these things, and if you don't want. To show

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up, it's different when you invite. Oh, I'm sorry. Be invited

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by other people. People you like. People I'm not married

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to. You have to invite me. It's in the vows.

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It is. It is. You got a choice. You can't uninvite me

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now. Do you get fomo? When I get invited to girly stuff and

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you. There's no guys included. No,

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I don't. Yeah, I don't. Because all of the

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girly stuff, it's always like,

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let's craft beads and drink mimosas,

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you know, and stuff like that. Like, that doesn't sound fun to me at all.

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But then we've talked about how, you know,

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there's all these all women events and women like to bond and that

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sort of thing. They don't do that with guys. There's not guy events,

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you know, and so I remember thinking, well, maybe I would put one on where

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I would do, like a cigar and whiskey event.

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You know, we can all meet at the cigar vault and have a whiskey and

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that sort of thing. And people, I. I put out a feeler

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post and there was about half men and

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half women, all everybody going, I want to do that. I want to do that.

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And I'm like, well, it can't be an all guys event if the bunch of

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women are saying they want to do it too. So then I was like,

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the more I started thinking about it, logistically, I started going crazy and anxious

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and I was like, I'm not planning nothing. I'm not going to do anything like

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that. I can plan a guy event for you. You can't. You're not a guy.

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I plan it on behalf of you. But see,

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that's the thing that would make me the host. And if I'm the host,

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that means I have to interact with everybody. I have to.

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You're a great communicator and you talk to. You already talk

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to everybody. So I don't like. I think you think that you

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are the way you used to be when you were younger, maybe, but you're

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a chatterbox. Like, you talk to everybody. Like you. I know

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that we say that you're, like, insecure and you're an introvert and whatever.

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You are not an introvert. Well, okay, so here's the thing.

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I've been married to you for 14. Yeah. And you should know, you're not

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an introvert. You get nervous, but then it goes away.

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No, not all the time. Most of the time, no. Hey,

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you have to admit, my. My anxiety was so bad that I couldn't even go

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out for a while. Well, yeah, and then you gave it to me. Yeah.

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Yeah. See? Yeah. So don't make it seem like. But I mean, that was like,

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during the pandemic and whatever. But, like, you're. You're a really good

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conversation starter. Like,

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that doesn't mean I like it. No, but you can. I'm good at customer service.

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I don't like to do that either. Okay. You know what I mean? That doesn't.

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Just because you're good at something doesn't mean that you. You're meant to do it.

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Doesn't mean that you're comfortable doing it. You know what I mean,

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okay, I can be good at all sorts of stuff. People, invite him somewhere,

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but make it small.

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No more than two. That's right, two or three people. And then

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I like big functions. I like. I actually, I like small

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functions and I like little fun. Big, big functions. So,

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like, we had a small one not too long ago. It was,

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what. Yeah, maybe what, 10 people. Twelve people.

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If that was like eight. Yeah. And it was super

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cool. I. I really enjoyed it. I was able to talk to

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everybody. Bigger events is harder to

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talk to everybody. And it's harder to break in those clicks because

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no matter what, I don't care what anybody says,

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there are clicks. Now. I was going to ask you that. Of course there

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are clicks. We've gone to parties and people

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from other little towns already know each other and

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they're in a little bubble. And then the people. I mean, seen it,

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been part of it, totally know that there's

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clicks. And I'm okay with it. I don't give a shit. I, you know,

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00:13:46,356 --> 00:13:49,164
I don't like it. I mean, you don't. But you can just go in there

229
00:13:49,172 --> 00:13:52,268
and talk to them. So these are clicks that are still open to other people.

230
00:13:52,324 --> 00:13:55,342
It's not like they block you out. No, they don't block you out. They just

231
00:13:55,366 --> 00:13:59,370
don't include you in stuff. Well, yeah, but I mean,

232
00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:02,942
I mean, that's. I mean, that's. Realistically, yeah, they'll. They'll talk to

233
00:14:02,966 --> 00:14:06,830
you if you come up to them. Yeah. At an event. I love clicks.

234
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:10,894
But they won't go, hey, what are

235
00:14:10,902 --> 00:14:14,062
you doing this weekend? You know, we're having some friends over at

236
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:17,086
the pool this weekend. You ought to come. And it. It works both ways,

237
00:14:17,118 --> 00:14:20,078
though. If you want to. If you want someone to invite you. You have to

238
00:14:20,134 --> 00:14:22,560
have a pool. I don't.

239
00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:25,932
I don't have a pool. I'm not gonna talk to you. I mean, what am

240
00:14:25,956 --> 00:14:28,828
I. I'm gonna invite a stranger over to my house? But, I mean,

241
00:14:28,884 --> 00:14:32,668
that's what I'm saying. Like, you don't like the clicks because

242
00:14:32,724 --> 00:14:36,764
they're not inclusive. Right. But if you go and you tap one of the clicky

243
00:14:36,812 --> 00:14:40,140
person on the shoulder and say, hey, yo,

244
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:44,320
I'm Adam. I want to be included in your little circle.

245
00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:47,940
They'll be more than happy to get you in there. I don't think so.

246
00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:51,492
Of course. Really? Do you think it's that simple? I want to be included in

247
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:55,060
yourself? Yes. Really? Yes. I don't know.

248
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:58,516
What do you want to bet? I'm gonna bet money, girl. Yes.

249
00:14:58,628 --> 00:15:02,308
They're. They're clicks because they're comfortable with their own people, with.

250
00:15:02,364 --> 00:15:05,360
With whomever. Like their friends. Right. But they're very.

251
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:08,900
They're still open to let people in. They just don't know how to go about

252
00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:12,292
it. Really? Yeah. Think about all

253
00:15:12,316 --> 00:15:15,272
the clicks that we know. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

254
00:15:15,336 --> 00:15:18,648
Are you have them in your head? Yes. Okay. Have you ever

255
00:15:18,704 --> 00:15:22,312
talked to anybody in that clique? Yes. There you

256
00:15:22,336 --> 00:15:26,120
go. Pretty much all of them. Okay. But I'm still

257
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:29,704
not invited to stuff. Make yourself available to them.

258
00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:33,288
What do you mean I'm available? The past. I already know who you're talking about.

259
00:15:33,344 --> 00:15:36,152
And they sure do invite us to things. They invite us.

260
00:15:36,256 --> 00:15:38,856
Do they? Yeah. We just don't ever have time.

261
00:15:39,008 --> 00:15:43,084
No way. Way. Oh, my goodness. Either way, there are clicks.

262
00:15:43,212 --> 00:15:45,916
Some of them are good, some of them are bad. I don't think we're talking

263
00:15:45,948 --> 00:15:49,756
about the same people. I think you're thinking about somebody else. I think I'm thinking

264
00:15:49,788 --> 00:15:53,548
about somebody different. Well, I mean, I'm sorry that they didn't

265
00:15:53,564 --> 00:15:56,604
include you. Tell me who it is, baby. I'll make sure they include us.

266
00:15:56,692 --> 00:16:00,280
Oh, man. See, this is why the kids don't tell you things.

267
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:04,220
Because you're ready to just go out there and just make things happen for

268
00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:07,692
them. Of course. Oh, I just want to have a discussion about it. I'm just

269
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:11,212
having a vent session. Okay. Okay. And this is really. It's just

270
00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:13,752
a day. Okay. I really care.

271
00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:17,288
Yeah. But honestly, I kind of do care.

272
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:20,776
I can't. I. So I like to be invited into things,

273
00:16:20,848 --> 00:16:23,180
especially, like house parties. Hello.

274
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,688
I love house parties. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we both love

275
00:16:27,744 --> 00:16:31,320
house parties. We do. You know, but. And you know, we do get

276
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,200
invited to stuff. We do. We're just busy,

277
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,688
but we. And. And we do. We get busy and things

278
00:16:37,744 --> 00:16:41,002
get crazy, but for a while, there's. You know what it is?

279
00:16:41,106 --> 00:16:43,722
Tell me. I'll tell you what it is. Tell me, because I don't even know.

280
00:16:43,826 --> 00:16:47,866
What it is, because I have been home the

281
00:16:47,938 --> 00:16:51,870
past four weekends. Baby, we went out last weekend,

282
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:55,578
you and I. Oh, yeah. Okay. So I've

283
00:16:55,594 --> 00:16:59,670
been. I'm sorry. I've been out the past three weekends before.

284
00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:03,594
You want. Okay. It's the. No, I'm talking about lifestyle events.

285
00:17:03,642 --> 00:17:05,914
I'm not talking about a date with you. I get a date with you all

286
00:17:05,922 --> 00:17:08,942
the time. Friday we had an event. We did. We had. We had a small

287
00:17:08,966 --> 00:17:12,910
event. So you. So that. Because you complained that you was. Okay. That was a.

288
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:16,030
Right. Because you had. You complained that you hadn't gone out playing. That's a very

289
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:19,130
negative term. You did. You put it on there.

290
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:22,446
You said, I am, I've been home,

291
00:17:22,518 --> 00:17:26,158
Please come and keep me entertained. I know. And then you're like,

292
00:17:26,214 --> 00:17:30,238
what if nobody shows? And I'm like. And you know, I honestly thought nobody

293
00:17:30,254 --> 00:17:33,416
would show. And did people show? About eight people

294
00:17:33,518 --> 00:17:36,596
that you like? That I like. There you go. Yeah,

295
00:17:36,788 --> 00:17:39,924
yeah. So that was nice. There you go. Everyone likes Adam.

296
00:17:40,052 --> 00:17:43,440
Stop it. You're such a wonderful person to have around.

297
00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:47,940
I'm just saying. I, I, I want to go do

298
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:50,900
stuff. Okay, well, we're going to, but we. Got to get invited to go do

299
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:54,240
stuff. So next weekend you have a jam packed Saturday,

300
00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:58,180
as do I. Yeah.

301
00:17:58,340 --> 00:18:01,422
Yeah, man. Why'd you tell me that?

302
00:18:01,526 --> 00:18:04,302
So you see Jam.

303
00:18:04,366 --> 00:18:07,902
Ha. Jam packed Saturday lifestyle. Next Saturday is jam

304
00:18:07,966 --> 00:18:11,614
packed. I don't want to go.

305
00:18:11,702 --> 00:18:14,750
Yeah, well, guess what? You don't have a choice. You want to stay home now.

306
00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:18,846
No. No choice. This weekend is Easter.

307
00:18:19,038 --> 00:18:22,414
This weekend is Easter. Yeah, I don't think anybody's going to

308
00:18:22,422 --> 00:18:26,062
invite us anywhere. You know, I also tell you

309
00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:29,416
let's invite people. Let's go do something. And you just don't

310
00:18:29,448 --> 00:18:33,272
want to. Well now hold on. I. Social butterfly. Oh my gosh.

311
00:18:33,336 --> 00:18:36,504
Well, I always. You literally just said that you didn't want to get dressed.

312
00:18:36,552 --> 00:18:39,928
You want to do what I'm saying. When it's a girl, just a regular girl

313
00:18:39,984 --> 00:18:43,112
thing. Just the effort sometimes. How is

314
00:18:43,136 --> 00:18:46,456
that? How but that you're contradicting yourself. No, because. Because it's

315
00:18:46,488 --> 00:18:49,752
girls. Because I have to drive myself when I'm with you. It's me and

316
00:18:49,776 --> 00:18:53,208
you. That's what Uber is for. You could Uber, especially if it's close

317
00:18:53,264 --> 00:18:56,874
by. It's not. Well, I'm just saying.

318
00:18:57,042 --> 00:19:00,266
But I do tell you, let's have stuff and let's invite people. And you don't

319
00:19:00,298 --> 00:19:03,610
want to. That's not true. Yes, it is. No, I tell

320
00:19:03,650 --> 00:19:06,122
you let's do it. But you got to find the right place. Where are we

321
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,162
going to do it? I say let's invite people here to even like a game

322
00:19:09,186 --> 00:19:12,506
night. And you're like, no, see, because you got to watch out who you invite

323
00:19:12,538 --> 00:19:16,298
to your house. I'm sorry. I swear up and down by that. I vibe with

324
00:19:16,354 --> 00:19:19,994
energies and I can't just let any old crazy

325
00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:23,580
person through the house. No, that's what I'm saying. I can't just

326
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:26,460
have anybody come through this house. Well, we be selective,

327
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,852
obviously. And I told you I'm down to do that. But here's what

328
00:19:29,876 --> 00:19:33,884
ends up happening, though. Here's what ends up happening. We invite

329
00:19:33,932 --> 00:19:37,356
people over to come play games, and then they end up just sitting

330
00:19:37,388 --> 00:19:41,196
on the sofa and we just talk all night. All the while you're

331
00:19:41,228 --> 00:19:44,444
standing off to the side holding card games and whatnot, going, hey, guys,

332
00:19:44,492 --> 00:19:47,820
you want to do this, like, in between. I know. And none of us do.

333
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:51,172
We just end up. Whatever. I can't help it. I'm not

334
00:19:51,196 --> 00:19:55,364
even gonna let anybody on the couch. Oh, but that's the centerpiece.

335
00:19:55,492 --> 00:19:58,692
It is. That's really nice. I mean, that's. Okay. You put on

336
00:19:58,716 --> 00:20:02,132
a game when it's on the TV and we play that. I do. So those

337
00:20:02,156 --> 00:20:05,604
are fun. But that's all I'm saying, you know, I'm down to do that.

338
00:20:05,692 --> 00:20:09,364
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I told you that we should do

339
00:20:09,532 --> 00:20:13,396
a monthly game night where we invite this

340
00:20:13,468 --> 00:20:16,690
rotating list of. Of lifestyle

341
00:20:16,770 --> 00:20:20,466
people. Okay, I will set that up. And every month it's

342
00:20:20,498 --> 00:20:24,450
a different set of, I don't know, four to six couples.

343
00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:28,370
Done. Or we'd be the six couples. So four to five couples. Yeah,

344
00:20:28,450 --> 00:20:32,002
yeah. Done. Yeah, dude, I'll set it. We could totally do

345
00:20:32,026 --> 00:20:35,154
that. And it's once a month, so we keep it, like, on the last of

346
00:20:35,162 --> 00:20:37,138
the month or the first of the month or the middle of the month.

347
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:40,706
Whatever. We pick. We pick that as the rotating

348
00:20:40,818 --> 00:20:44,542
every month. I like that. And every month

349
00:20:44,726 --> 00:20:48,766
we invite different couples. It's never the same ones.

350
00:20:48,958 --> 00:20:52,462
I like that. Yeah, that's a good idea. And then once we've gone

351
00:20:52,526 --> 00:20:55,950
through that whole thing, then we can

352
00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:59,438
start mixing and matching and, you know, inviting and every.

353
00:20:59,494 --> 00:21:03,566
And all these couples, they're not going to be a part of the same circles,

354
00:21:03,758 --> 00:21:07,406
so they're going to get to know other people. Yeah. That aren't

355
00:21:07,438 --> 00:21:12,230
in their circles. And guess what? Breaking down the walls

356
00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:16,674
of. Of these clicks, you know, you had something there. I had something

357
00:21:16,762 --> 00:21:20,402
I just blew away. Yeah. It just flew away.

358
00:21:20,506 --> 00:21:23,842
Well, it's still there. It's there. Okay. I'm just saying I

359
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:26,722
think it's a good idea. I think that is something we should do. We'll do

360
00:21:26,746 --> 00:21:30,290
that, baby. Yeah. Yeah. And then when we have friends that visit us, say,

361
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:34,002
out from out of town, they can, you know, they can sit in

362
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:37,098
on it, too, you know? Yes. Yeah. Do that whole

363
00:21:37,114 --> 00:21:40,350
thing. I like that. I like it, too. Okay, but wait.

364
00:21:41,090 --> 00:21:44,762
What if we do that? If you start

365
00:21:44,786 --> 00:21:48,410
overthinking right now, no way I'm going to throw this water bottle at you.

366
00:21:48,450 --> 00:21:51,930
Wait, but wait. Okay, Go all right, listen. Just listen for a second,

367
00:21:51,970 --> 00:21:54,842
okay, because that sounded all great and stuff, but then I started thinking about the

368
00:21:54,866 --> 00:21:58,218
words that I said earlier, which was, we can't let

369
00:21:58,274 --> 00:22:01,946
certain energies into this house, baby. You know, I know everybody,

370
00:22:01,978 --> 00:22:05,162
and I know their energy. And I will not let anybody into this house that

371
00:22:05,186 --> 00:22:08,434
I do not like. Well, what if we're inviting people we don't know?

372
00:22:08,522 --> 00:22:11,826
No, I would never invite somebody I don't know. We don't know everybody,

373
00:22:11,858 --> 00:22:15,150
now, do we? We're not inviting them. Well,

374
00:22:15,530 --> 00:22:18,430
if we don't know them, we're not inviting them.

375
00:22:18,730 --> 00:22:22,306
But if we don't. Nope. But they could be really nice.

376
00:22:22,498 --> 00:22:25,618
No, you got to give them a chance. No, gosh,

377
00:22:25,714 --> 00:22:29,362
that's very just. That's not inclusive at all. You are representing the

378
00:22:29,386 --> 00:22:32,962
clicks that we are talking about. I know. Hello. Am I supposed to

379
00:22:32,986 --> 00:22:35,830
include people if you won't let me include people? Nah.

380
00:22:38,010 --> 00:22:41,394
You stress me out. I can't deal with

381
00:22:41,402 --> 00:22:44,322
this. I don't want to do events anymore. But, yeah, just as soon as I

382
00:22:44,346 --> 00:22:47,986
started, as. As soon as I ended. That's okay. I'll invite you to my events.

383
00:22:48,098 --> 00:22:50,150
Well, you have to. It's in the bows.

384
00:22:51,290 --> 00:22:54,962
That's all I'm saying. I'm just trying to get included on a thing. All right,

385
00:22:55,066 --> 00:22:58,802
if you're listening out there, you know who I

386
00:22:58,826 --> 00:23:02,216
am and you know how to reach me. Guess what?

387
00:23:02,338 --> 00:23:06,556
This guy here, he likes to go out. He likes to party. He likes

388
00:23:06,588 --> 00:23:10,108
to boogie. Who does. Who did not invite you to something?

389
00:23:10,244 --> 00:23:13,116
Nobody. You seem very hurt. I do, right?

390
00:23:13,188 --> 00:23:17,068
Did something. No, no, Nothing actually happened. Come on. No, no, no pause.

391
00:23:17,164 --> 00:23:20,732
No, seriously. It's the weirdest thing. It's the

392
00:23:20,756 --> 00:23:23,820
weirdest thing. I just woke up today and I had this

393
00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:27,440
chip on my shoulder. Like, why the hell don't I get invited to stuff?

394
00:23:27,860 --> 00:23:31,012
Nothing happened. There's nothing that I can sit

395
00:23:31,036 --> 00:23:34,148
back. And go, you are freaking hilarious. Isn't that weird?

396
00:23:34,244 --> 00:23:37,940
Yeah. I have had this all day. I've had this, like, frustration, this little

397
00:23:37,980 --> 00:23:41,828
chip on my shoulder going, why the hell doesn't. Why don't people invite me?

398
00:23:41,964 --> 00:23:45,796
And you know what I do? Events. Why don't more people show up?

399
00:23:45,948 --> 00:23:49,124
Why don't I get more people to my stuff? You know what I

400
00:23:49,132 --> 00:23:52,212
mean? That's why I don't do events. People don't show up.

401
00:23:52,316 --> 00:23:54,932
People show up. Don't get me wrong. And I love the people that show up.

402
00:23:54,956 --> 00:23:58,278
I love you guys, but it's not

403
00:23:58,334 --> 00:24:01,622
like 30, 000 people. No. And I would rather it

404
00:24:01,646 --> 00:24:05,110
not be 30,000. Yeah, I know. Honestly, I'd rather it not be that. So I,

405
00:24:05,150 --> 00:24:08,390
like, I, I enjoy, I enjoy,

406
00:24:08,470 --> 00:24:12,450
I enjoy what, what's happening. Yeah, yeah. You know. You know,

407
00:24:12,830 --> 00:24:16,262
I know. It's just. I just woke up with this chip on my shoulder.

408
00:24:16,326 --> 00:24:19,414
Okay. Yeah. And I, I don't know why. And so that's why I was like,

409
00:24:19,422 --> 00:24:21,382
you know what? I'm going to talk about it because I need to get it

410
00:24:21,406 --> 00:24:25,278
off my chest. Okay. Because I'm not going to carry this around tomorrow.

411
00:24:25,374 --> 00:24:27,694
No, no. I'm going to get up in the morning and I'm not going to

412
00:24:27,702 --> 00:24:31,054
think twice about it. But I don't know why. I woke up today and I

413
00:24:31,062 --> 00:24:34,570
was just like, dude, you know what? People suck, man.

414
00:24:34,870 --> 00:24:38,334
And I just had this thing, I had this thing ringing in me.

415
00:24:38,342 --> 00:24:40,878
I was just like, you know what? I'm just not vibing. It's funny. I had,

416
00:24:40,934 --> 00:24:43,502
I had a chip, but it definitely wasn't that one. Really?

417
00:24:43,606 --> 00:24:47,086
Yeah, Yeah. I was just not in the mood today. Just wasn't having it.

418
00:24:47,158 --> 00:24:50,596
I was not having it. Really? I didn't text you a lot. No, I hardly

419
00:24:50,628 --> 00:24:54,068
heard from you today. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't text you a lot. I hardly

420
00:24:54,084 --> 00:24:56,840
heard. I was busy. But then I was just in a grumpy mood.

421
00:24:57,260 --> 00:25:01,140
Interesting. I was in a grumpy mood today. Well, I threw up this

422
00:25:01,180 --> 00:25:04,116
morning for no reason. That's sexy.

423
00:25:04,228 --> 00:25:07,652
Yeah. Yeah. For no reason. For no reason. Felt fine,

424
00:25:07,716 --> 00:25:11,348
brushed my teeth, went back to work, did my thing. Definitely not pregnant.

425
00:25:11,444 --> 00:25:14,900
No. And then, I don't know, I got really grumpy. And then you asked

426
00:25:14,940 --> 00:25:18,012
me a question and I was like, oh,

427
00:25:18,076 --> 00:25:21,484
let's answer this. And so I was really, I was, I think after

428
00:25:21,572 --> 00:25:25,404
maybe about an hour, two hours after that, I was grumpy again.

429
00:25:25,572 --> 00:25:29,276
Really? I think I was fine when you were texting me. Yeah,

430
00:25:29,388 --> 00:25:32,844
I was happy. I was answering it pretty nicely, right? Yeah.

431
00:25:32,892 --> 00:25:36,092
No, no, I, I wouldn't have never noticed. Yeah. So, I mean, I get those

432
00:25:36,116 --> 00:25:39,276
days where I'm like, nobody likes me. Well, you know,

433
00:25:39,348 --> 00:25:43,958
I, I, I have that today. So. I wasn't depressed.

434
00:25:44,134 --> 00:25:47,798
I've had depressed days. This was not a depressed day. I could feel something

435
00:25:47,854 --> 00:25:51,014
with you on your check. There was something off. Yeah. I don't know what it

436
00:25:51,022 --> 00:25:54,118
was. I woke up this morning and I don't know what seeped

437
00:25:54,134 --> 00:25:57,814
into my head because it wasn't right away. It was as the day when

438
00:25:57,902 --> 00:26:01,222
it was like, from my drive. No, we talked all the

439
00:26:01,246 --> 00:26:03,766
way. Yeah, no, I know. That's what I'M saying it was after my drive,

440
00:26:03,798 --> 00:26:07,414
and I got. I got to work, and I don't know what happened because

441
00:26:07,502 --> 00:26:11,350
I was working, but I don't know, some weird thoughts started coming

442
00:26:11,390 --> 00:26:14,998
into my head, and I was like, you know, I started measuring

443
00:26:15,094 --> 00:26:18,374
my success in the lifestyle.

444
00:26:18,502 --> 00:26:21,718
Oh, my God. On. On whether

445
00:26:21,774 --> 00:26:24,710
or not I get invited to. Oh, my God.

446
00:26:24,790 --> 00:26:28,054
Oh, stop it with the judgment. I'm just being honest here. This is a safe

447
00:26:28,102 --> 00:26:31,830
tree, isn't it? Swinging from the safe tree anyways?

448
00:26:31,910 --> 00:26:35,366
I guess so. So I'm allowed to judge you.

449
00:26:35,438 --> 00:26:38,182
Oh, my gosh. I'm in the same tree. Well, you're not gonna be in my

450
00:26:38,206 --> 00:26:41,836
tree. You're gonna be down at the bottom. Go ahead. Anyway,

451
00:26:42,028 --> 00:26:45,980
I started thinking. I started thinking I'm just not a successful

452
00:26:46,060 --> 00:26:49,244
person in the lifestyle because I don't get invited to stuff. Oh,

453
00:26:49,372 --> 00:26:52,492
I know, right? I know. And so I sat there,

454
00:26:52,516 --> 00:26:55,484
and it started off real sad, and I was like, you know, man,

455
00:26:55,652 --> 00:26:59,164
people don't like me. I have no empathy for you right now.

456
00:26:59,332 --> 00:27:03,132
You are so hard to talk to sometimes. That's why I have a podcast,

457
00:27:03,196 --> 00:27:06,900
because at least people can witness that. This is what I do with it.

458
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:11,208
This is what I do. I have no empathy for you. This is. This is.

459
00:27:11,264 --> 00:27:14,664
This is why I have a podcast. Because there's somebody

460
00:27:14,712 --> 00:27:18,168
out there who understands what I'm saying, and they feel bad

461
00:27:18,224 --> 00:27:21,928
and they understand, and they're like, you know what? You know what, Adam? I have

462
00:27:21,984 --> 00:27:25,512
empathy for you, even though your wife does not. I do. You know what,

463
00:27:25,536 --> 00:27:28,968
Adam? I'm gonna invite you. The other person.

464
00:27:29,104 --> 00:27:32,124
Who's that other person that sits with you? That girl.

465
00:27:32,212 --> 00:27:36,652
That other girl. That other girl. Yeah. No, she cannot come as

466
00:27:36,676 --> 00:27:38,080
long as. I get an invite.

467
00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:43,420
Baby, we're a team. I always. Yeah, well, the team needs

468
00:27:43,460 --> 00:27:47,292
to be more empathetic. That's all I'm saying. Dang, man. You know,

469
00:27:47,316 --> 00:27:50,652
it is hard. It is so hard. Just. I do love you,

470
00:27:50,676 --> 00:27:54,076
though. Do you? Yes. Do you? With all my heart. That's so sweet

471
00:27:54,108 --> 00:27:57,240
of you. I'll give you kisses in a little bit. Thank you so much.

472
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,744
So, anyways. Yes. Yeah. I felt

473
00:28:01,792 --> 00:28:05,152
like I was not liked. I'm sorry. I felt like

474
00:28:05,176 --> 00:28:07,920
people don't want to hang out with me. People don't want to hang out with

475
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,992
me. That's what I thought. Oh, boo boo. You're just making fun

476
00:28:11,016 --> 00:28:14,928
of me. Don't patronize me, lady. Don't patronize me. People love hanging

477
00:28:14,944 --> 00:28:17,920
out with you, fool. Nobody likes to hang out with me because then they would

478
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,312
Hang out with me more. That's my reasoning. What if they don't hang out with

479
00:28:21,336 --> 00:28:24,672
you because of your wife? Oh my God. Are you messing it up for

480
00:28:24,696 --> 00:28:27,864
me? Yeah. Well, I guess I'm gonna have to

481
00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:31,320
be friendless because. Because I'm with you for life,

482
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:34,580
baby. So one or the other.

483
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,768
There's no ultimatum here. No,

484
00:28:37,904 --> 00:28:40,952
I'm stuck with it. Like Huey Lewis says.

485
00:28:41,056 --> 00:28:44,536
Yes. Yeah. That's all good. I took the vows.

486
00:28:44,648 --> 00:28:47,260
I'll be your friend. Where do you want to go, baby?

487
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,060
Well, not nowhere now.

488
00:28:52,380 --> 00:28:55,652
No, I mean, I feel like it's just we get busy

489
00:28:55,716 --> 00:28:59,076
so a lot, you know, a lot of things get pushed around and people aren't

490
00:28:59,108 --> 00:29:02,372
very inclusive. You're just being sensitive today. I am being sensitive today because

491
00:29:02,396 --> 00:29:05,812
we. Have lots of friends and they invite us all the time. Yeah,

492
00:29:05,876 --> 00:29:08,996
well, you know, I think a lot of it has to do with the having

493
00:29:09,068 --> 00:29:12,612
three weekends home really back to back

494
00:29:12,796 --> 00:29:16,532
and just kind of feeling, I don't know, not as I

495
00:29:16,556 --> 00:29:20,212
went from being really immersed to did, not being at all. Yeah. And I

496
00:29:20,236 --> 00:29:23,656
remember the first weekend we did, it felt great. I was like, oh my gosh,

497
00:29:23,688 --> 00:29:26,904
I needed this. Yeah. And then the second weekend I went. Somewhere and

498
00:29:26,912 --> 00:29:30,600
you didn't. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's why the second weekend

499
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:34,660
was, was just as good, because it wasn't the same weekend that I had previous.

500
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,648
This time I was by myself and

501
00:29:38,704 --> 00:29:42,008
so that was different, but I was still home alone, you know.

502
00:29:42,144 --> 00:29:45,880
And then the third weekend I was like, okay, this isn't so

503
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,180
bad, but it's kind of getting old. Yeah. And then this past

504
00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:52,300
weekend. Yeah, we did have that, that little mini event on Friday.

505
00:29:52,420 --> 00:29:55,804
And then we, we got to, we. Had a date night. That's what

506
00:29:55,812 --> 00:29:59,020
I'm saying. Yeah. We got to spend the evening together on Saturday, which was really

507
00:29:59,060 --> 00:30:02,284
nice. That was nice. Yeah. We actually had a really good weekend together.

508
00:30:02,372 --> 00:30:05,740
Yeah. But I know what you mean though. I, I, I guess coming off

509
00:30:05,780 --> 00:30:09,084
of. That, coming off of that front, that fun night. The fun.

510
00:30:09,172 --> 00:30:12,732
Yeah. No, I just feel like, you know, I just, I, I got some

511
00:30:12,756 --> 00:30:15,954
catching up. Oh, I am so with you. Yeah, I guess

512
00:30:16,002 --> 00:30:19,506
I'm with you because. I've been non stop just

513
00:30:19,578 --> 00:30:23,586
mentally, for me, like. Yeah, I know, I know the thought

514
00:30:23,738 --> 00:30:26,898
is silly. It is what it is. And the only reason why I'm

515
00:30:26,914 --> 00:30:30,790
talking about it right now is because, let's face facts,

516
00:30:31,210 --> 00:30:34,610
we've all had those thoughts. Of course we've all had those

517
00:30:34,650 --> 00:30:37,026
thoughts. I just had one the other day and I was like, look, they didn't

518
00:30:37,058 --> 00:30:41,154
invite me. Yeah. Like, I don't care what people say. I don't care how confident

519
00:30:41,202 --> 00:30:44,466
they are. Whenever they talk to people. I don't care what their status

520
00:30:44,498 --> 00:30:47,806
is in the lifestyle. They have those

521
00:30:47,878 --> 00:30:51,022
thoughts. They can be the most popular people in

522
00:30:51,046 --> 00:30:54,414
the groups, in the clicks, and I guarantee you they have the same thoughts,

523
00:30:54,462 --> 00:30:58,190
which is, why didn't I get invited to that? Yeah. And it happens to

524
00:30:58,230 --> 00:31:01,374
all of us. It happened to me. It did seep

525
00:31:01,422 --> 00:31:05,230
in some negative thoughts that just really were silly.

526
00:31:05,390 --> 00:31:08,930
And after a while of thinking, it's like, okay, yeah,

527
00:31:09,590 --> 00:31:13,332
that's silly. So silly. It is silly. But you

528
00:31:13,356 --> 00:31:17,060
are handsome. I'm glad you think so. Yeah. Well,

529
00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:20,612
thank goodness for that, because I don't know, if I

530
00:31:20,636 --> 00:31:23,700
didn't have that, I don't know what I'd have. We have some stuff going around

531
00:31:23,740 --> 00:31:27,428
this weekend, though. Do we? Yeah. Well, that's good.

532
00:31:27,484 --> 00:31:31,268
That should keep us busy then. Yeah. I have something tomorrow.

533
00:31:31,364 --> 00:31:34,180
You have? Yeah, that's right. You're going on your little date.

534
00:31:34,260 --> 00:31:38,104
Yeah. Your little date with your. Your couple friend.

535
00:31:38,192 --> 00:31:41,816
Yes. And then Friday I'm off

536
00:31:41,968 --> 00:31:45,560
Friday, you're. Off Friday I'm working. Yeah. And we have no

537
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,712
plans as a Friday night. No. But I think I'm gonna make some.

538
00:31:48,816 --> 00:31:52,424
Oh, okay. So there's that. And then Saturday.

539
00:31:52,592 --> 00:31:56,088
Saturday we're hanging out with one of my favorite ladies.

540
00:31:56,184 --> 00:31:59,720
Yes. Yeah. And then Sunday.

541
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:03,684
Sunday is Easter Sunday. I got a barbecue. Yes. That's going

542
00:32:03,692 --> 00:32:08,132
to be fun. Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to have a busy family.

543
00:32:08,316 --> 00:32:11,972
Yeah. It's going to be me and you and then friends.

544
00:32:12,076 --> 00:32:15,732
Yeah. Oh, Saturday I have a event with girls. I have

545
00:32:15,756 --> 00:32:19,972
a girl event. You have a girl event? Yeah, it's like toys

546
00:32:20,036 --> 00:32:23,700
or something. They're going to be selling, like, sexual toys. Oh, that's right.

547
00:32:23,740 --> 00:32:27,172
You're going romance or something. It's this Saturday, so I get

548
00:32:27,196 --> 00:32:30,886
to see my girls. Hi. Wow. That's. I miss them. I haven't

549
00:32:30,918 --> 00:32:34,630
seen her in forever. I wonder if I should find something to do. Sanitate during

550
00:32:34,670 --> 00:32:37,750
the day. No, No, I probably won't.

551
00:32:37,830 --> 00:32:40,838
No, I'll probably just stay on the couch.

552
00:32:40,934 --> 00:32:44,214
Yeah. Because that's me. Unless you want to go shopping.

553
00:32:44,262 --> 00:32:47,670
Then you can go shopping, but you usually don't. Oh, God, no. I am

554
00:32:47,710 --> 00:32:50,742
not a shopper. I want to get to be gone like an hour, maybe two.

555
00:32:50,766 --> 00:32:53,126
You can drop me off and then come back for me. Well, no, I mean,

556
00:32:53,198 --> 00:32:56,312
it's. It's down in San Antonio, isn't it? Where's it

557
00:32:56,336 --> 00:32:59,900
at? Live Oak. That's New Braunfels.

558
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,480
Sure. It's about 40, 45 minutes. Yeah.

559
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:07,160
I mean, it's a drive. Yeah. And then you'll be on top of that

560
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,608
an hour, so. Yeah, it'll be a few hours.

561
00:33:09,664 --> 00:33:13,192
Yeah. As long as I have coffee, I'll be good. There you go.

562
00:33:13,296 --> 00:33:17,112
Anyways. All right. Well, that looks like this was fun. This is

563
00:33:17,136 --> 00:33:19,624
a good conversation. I need to get all that off my chest. I'm glad that

564
00:33:19,632 --> 00:33:22,556
we were able to talk about it and you guys out there, you were listening

565
00:33:22,728 --> 00:33:26,292
and you were helping me process through it. I could feel you here. I could

566
00:33:26,316 --> 00:33:29,332
feel your energy feeling a little lonely. She's not invited to the party.

567
00:33:29,436 --> 00:33:32,884
She's pointing to her vagina. She's not invited

568
00:33:32,932 --> 00:33:35,396
to the party. She's always invited to the party. As a matter of fact,

569
00:33:35,468 --> 00:33:39,200
she is preferred. She is the party.

570
00:33:39,660 --> 00:33:42,980
Thank you guys for listening. We really appreciate you guys joining us this week.

571
00:33:43,020 --> 00:33:46,676
We hope to listen to us on Sunday's

572
00:33:46,708 --> 00:33:49,846
episode, which, hey, I'm not going to tell you what it's

573
00:33:49,878 --> 00:33:53,254
about. I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to

574
00:33:53,262 --> 00:33:56,410
tell you guys what it's about, primarily because I don't know yet. Yes.

575
00:33:57,150 --> 00:34:00,902
But either way, I hope you guys have a wonderful week and I will

576
00:34:01,006 --> 00:34:04,150
look forward to seeing you guys next week.