Pressure in the Lifestyle: Are You Pushing Your Partner Too Far?

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All right, y'all.

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Before we dive in, a quick heads-up

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This show is raw, real,
and definitely not rated PG

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We're talking about adult themes,
sexual content, and the kinda stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through
your speakers at work or around your kids

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice, and get comfy

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Oh, and just so we're clear,
we are not licensed therapists,

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counselors, or sex couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches

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Not sex couches

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We're just a couple of people sharing
our lives, experiences, and sexy

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adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show

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Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris, and today on our
Wednesday quickie, we are going

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to be discussing pushiness.

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Pushiness.

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I, I, and I don't wanna sound like it…
I know pushiness is negative, right?

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I wanna just talk about how some couples,
you can tell they have not communicated

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when coming into the lifestyle.

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How about that?

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You know, I think that's a fair
observation, but I think that's what

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makes a lot of newbie couples newbies.

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You know what I mean?

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Like, we- Yeah … when we first came in-
Yeah … we, we did, we thought we had

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a really good communication, uh, skill.

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I

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know, I know.

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I think, I think we do.

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We do now.

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I'm, I'm, yeah.

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But I'm talking about when we
first c- came in to the lifestyle.

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Yeah.

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You don't think so?

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Oh, God, no.

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No?

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Not, not what it is now.

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This is more like you've never
really pushed me to do things.

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You've never been, like, the
one to tell me, "Look…"

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I've pushed you.

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I have.

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"
Look, that, that, that chick
is showing her ass off.

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Why don't you show your ass off?"

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No, I did… I, I, I never pushed you
that way, but I, I, there were times

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when I, early on, where I was kinda
pushy with me wanting my experiences.

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Oh, for

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sure.

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You know, I wanted to get my experiences.

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I think- You had already

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had 'em … I, I don't think
you're pushy now, but I think

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you express that even now.

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What?

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The experiences and stuff like that.

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I mean, I, I- Yeah … I've,
I have all my experiences, so

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I'm not- Yeah.

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And I mean, I don't really… Yeah.

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Yeah, I guess

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you do.

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So I don't, I don't really care,
uh, what we choose not to do-

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Yeah … or what experiences we don't
have now because I've pretty much

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experienced everything I wanted to.

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Yeah.

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Uh, so back then, I was hard
up to get those experiences.

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I wanted- Yeah … the threesomes.

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And I- I wanted to try all this stuff

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…
that's, that's, that's very true.

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You did, and, and, and you,
you were, you were a bit pushy.

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Yeah,

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I was.

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Um, up until even Polly
you were a bit pushy.

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Yes.

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Yes,

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I was.

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And I f- and you're right,
our communication was

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not as good as it is now.

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I know.

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No.

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I, and I really express
myself way more now.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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You, you, you kept- Uh,
why did you make that face?

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No, no, no.

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No, I didn't make no face.

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I'm just saying, oh, I
mean, it's just like-

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I am.

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I'm, I'm- … when

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you put it in perspective-
Yeah … it's like, yeah, you do.

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Like, really.

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I'm really, I'm, I was telling somebody
else this, I don't know who it was.

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It was a girlfriend, so it must have
been one of the, the few that I have.

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But I'm, I'm in, I'm in my, I'm in my,
um, I don't really give a fuck phase.

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Yeah?

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I really don't give a fuck anymore.

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Like, it's not that I don't
give a fuck about you.

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Um, I just don't, I don't care anymore.

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It's, I-

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You don't care to, to hold it in.

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I don't.

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I don't care to hold it in.

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Because you know, well, first off-
I mean- … you know that this

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is rock solid, our relationship.

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Yeah.

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Uh,

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so you don't- And- … have to.

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Yeah.

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And when I don't like
something, I tell you.

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Yeah.

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Earlier today we talked about
something and I was like,

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"Yeah, I don't, I," you know?

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And see, that

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is- Not gonna have this
conversation right now

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that conversation earlier, that's a good
example of the fact that we have such good

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con- uh, uh- Yeah … communication now.

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Yeah.

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Because that is something that we would
not have been able to talk about previous

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to, you know, uh, w- where we are in our-
Yeah … in our communication levels.

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Yeah.

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You know?

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When, when you can ask questions,
uh, about, you know, things that,

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that we may have coming up or- Mm-hmm

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experiences that we wanna try-
Mm-hmm … or, or things like that,

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there's uncomfortable feelings
with certain things that you ask.

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Yeah.

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But only if you ask them in certain ways.

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Yes.

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So in this lifestyle, and it's so funny
because you can communicate openly

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100%, but it's also how you say it.

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Yeah.

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How you come out

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of that about it.

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And, and that's what I'm saying.

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It come, some of it
comes off really pushy.

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But I've, I don't, I don't care for that.

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Yeah.

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I don't care for the, the pushiness.

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Like, and, and this is
not only new people.

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This is also people who have been around.

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Is that right?

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I do not care for pushy people.

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And let me give you an example, and I
think we've talked about it on the show.

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I don't like when the spouse of
the other person is pushy to-

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To, to have them do something … to

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have them do something.

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Yeah.

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And, and like if it's amongst them-

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Yeah

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…
that's their thing.

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But to do it out in the open-

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To do it out in the
open … and kinda give

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that pressure.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And, and be like, "You know,
um, my chick's been trying to

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get with you, Adam," or to me.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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"Hey, you know, so your, my
chick's been trying to get with

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you, Pris." I don't like that.

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I think that's very-

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Tacky?

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It's tacky.

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It's, it's, um, it's rude.

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Your par- your, your partner is a person.

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Yeah.

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Like, they should be able
to speak their own mind.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And I've seen it.

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Like, I've seen it in my face
and I've- told somebody like,

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"Shut the fuck up already."

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Like, "Shut up, dude." Like,
"It's not gonna happen." Like,

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"Get the fuck over it already."

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Yeah, yeah.

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Um, I feel it, it's,
and it's such a turnoff.

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Like, I can't even see those
people in the same light

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anymore.

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Yeah.

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Well, you know, I, I remember seeing that
when we first started in the lifestyle

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and we would go to, you know, we went
to a few parties here and there- Yeah

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uh, i- in our hometown.

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And a lot of the guys were like
that with their ladies, I noticed.

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A l- a lot of those guys were, like,
um, a little pushy with their, with

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their partners and telling them, "Hey"-

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"
Hey, go give him a blowjob."

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Yeah.

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Or, or, "Hey, take, take your tits
out- Yeah … in front of everybody."

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Yeah.

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You know?

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And it's like, I don't know, th-
it always gave me the cringe.

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Now, some people are,
some people are into that.

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Like, that's-

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Agreed

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…
sometimes that's their dynamic.

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Agreed.

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That's how they have it.

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Hey, I ain't trying to
knock anybody's deal.

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Don't have that dynamic

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in front of me.

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That's, if that's, if that's your
deal, that's your deal, and, and we're

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not talking shit about it at all.

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But at the same time, uh, for the
way we operate, that's, I mean, you

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hear it sometimes, a little cringe.

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My husband is very sweet.

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I'm totally calling you out.

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All right.

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I'm calling you out.

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I don't like… Men should not have any
kind of responsibility or any kind of

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voice towards their woman's body, period.

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I don't c- I mean, I get
it, it's your dynamic.

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I get it, it's your thing.

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But don't do it out loud.

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Like, just don't say it out loud because
you're gonna come across somebody like

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myself who's gonna be like, "Dude, she
is a person." I mean, it is what it is.

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We've been stopped in the middle of
having sex at the club, and this has

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happened numerous, numerous times.

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Like, I cannot even tell you how many
times I've had the guy tell me, "Hey,

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can the… Can she help?" And it's like,
if she wants my man's dick in her mouth,

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she needs to be the one to say something.

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Or I've, I've seen guys ask, "Hey,
i- is it okay if my wife kisses

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you?" And it's- Yeah … and it's
like, well, shouldn't she be asking?

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Shouldn't she be asking?

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Like, it's not… Those aren't your lips.

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Yeah.

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That, that does happen quite a bit.

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You know, next time that happens I'm
gonna be like, "Why don't you do that?

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Why don't you come and put it…"

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But, you know, a- and at the same time
too, I've had guys come up to me and go,

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"Hey, um, is it okay if I kiss your wife?"

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Yeah.

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And I'm like, "It's… I mean, I'm
fine with it, but you need to ask her."

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That's when he zooms

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in on my

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face like…

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That is, that is her deal.

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So don't think that if I say it's okay on
my end, that you- Yeah … just go do it.

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Yeah.

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Because, no.

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And I get it.

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Like, we have friends where you're
like, "Hey, why don't you go over

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there and, and kiss so-and-so?"

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And I'm like, "Okay."
'Cause it's cute, right?

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Yeah.

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Like, that's a thing that we like-

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But that's something that we
say to each other- We say to

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each other … off to the side.

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Yeah.

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00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,443
You know, not in front of… I,
I- Yeah … you know, I'm not

251
00:08:55,443 --> 00:08:56,373
gonna say it in front of them.

252
00:08:56,413 --> 00:08:56,713
Yeah.

253
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,193
That kinda puts pressure.

254
00:08:58,713 --> 00:09:00,213
It puts a lot of pressure.

255
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:00,513
Yeah.

256
00:09:00,533 --> 00:09:01,473
It puts some pressure there.

257
00:09:01,673 --> 00:09:05,463
And I am not o- I, I'm okay with,
like, calling you out on it.

258
00:09:05,473 --> 00:09:06,693
I just don't… I don't know.

259
00:09:06,693 --> 00:09:07,423
I don't like it.

260
00:09:07,543 --> 00:09:10,513
Like, I feel like it, it just
comes down… And, like, that's not

261
00:09:10,513 --> 00:09:11,853
only, that's not only a sex thing.

262
00:09:11,923 --> 00:09:14,513
I have seen the pressure in drinking.

263
00:09:15,473 --> 00:09:19,663
I've seen the pressure in-
Well, just drinking I guess.

264
00:09:20,503 --> 00:09:21,123
Drinking and that.

265
00:09:21,173 --> 00:09:26,703
I mean, like I've seen people
like, you know, over-serve their

266
00:09:26,703 --> 00:09:28,643
partner to get them loosey-goosey.

267
00:09:28,933 --> 00:09:32,623
Well, you know, it's, it's a hard
lifestyle in the fact that, uh, a

268
00:09:32,623 --> 00:09:35,273
lot of it revolves around partying.

269
00:09:35,443 --> 00:09:35,713
Yeah.

270
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,643
Um, the club is a party,
a house party, you know?

271
00:09:38,643 --> 00:09:38,853
Yeah.

272
00:09:38,853 --> 00:09:40,293
Uh, meet and greets are parties.

273
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:45,363
I mean, everything is a party, so,
uh, you know, unless you're going

274
00:09:45,483 --> 00:09:50,633
out with a couple one-on-one, which
most likely you're gonna go to a bar-

275
00:09:50,743 --> 00:09:51,113
Mm-hmm

276
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,083
or a restaurant that-
Mm-hmm … has alcohol.

277
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:53,163
Mm-hmm.

278
00:09:53,763 --> 00:09:57,953
Um, you know, the, the whole
lifestyle really seems to revolve

279
00:09:57,993 --> 00:10:02,283
around partying- Yeah … and, uh,
keeping up with everybody else.

280
00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:02,533
Yeah.

281
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:03,333
And, and,

282
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,043
and- And that's a lot of pressure in and
of itself … that's a lot of pressure.

283
00:10:05,073 --> 00:10:08,353
And if y'all wanna do that,
that's great, but the pressure,

284
00:10:08,353 --> 00:10:10,503
guys, the pressure behind it all.

285
00:10:10,673 --> 00:10:12,543
And it does cause FOMO too, you know?

286
00:10:12,563 --> 00:10:13,083
Yes.

287
00:10:13,623 --> 00:10:18,123
Uh, I know I've gotten, uh, FOMO from
feeling the, the pressure, you know,

288
00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:21,013
wanting to… I've wanted to go, you
know- Yeah … to some things, and

289
00:10:21,013 --> 00:10:25,073
it's like, but then I think now I,
I, I don't wanna go to that 'cause-

290
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:28,103
Yeah … they'll, they're gonna be
up all night, and I'm gonna show up.

291
00:10:28,123 --> 00:10:30,683
I'll be there for an hour, and I'll feel
bad because I wanna go home already.

292
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:35,443
Uh, you know, so, eh, that's, that's
the pressure that I feel oftentimes

293
00:10:35,443 --> 00:10:40,563
is going out and having to stay up
all night, not necessarily party.

294
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:40,913
Mm-hmm.

295
00:10:40,943 --> 00:10:46,033
Now, we ran into some, uh, roughness
when we first started getting into the

296
00:10:46,033 --> 00:10:48,823
community, uh, because we didn't drink.

297
00:10:48,903 --> 00:10:49,183
Yeah.

298
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:53,643
And it was hard to find, uh,
different communities that- 'Cause I

299
00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:54,363
think a lot of people-

300
00:10:54,373 --> 00:10:54,993
…
had stuff-

301
00:10:54,993 --> 00:10:55,363
Yeah

302
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:56,243
…
that didn't drink.

303
00:10:56,243 --> 00:10:58,243
Yeah, and we were just talking about that.

304
00:10:58,253 --> 00:10:58,273
Yeah.

305
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:01,493
But I think a lot of people thought
that we had a sobriety issue.

306
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,183
Yeah, like we were- Yeah … gonna
judge people for drinking.

307
00:11:04,193 --> 00:11:04,213
Yeah.

308
00:11:04,493 --> 00:11:05,163
And it's like, no.

309
00:11:05,543 --> 00:11:05,763
I-

310
00:11:05,883 --> 00:11:06,223
Yeah

311
00:11:06,393 --> 00:11:07,173
…
I got no problem with it.

312
00:11:07,173 --> 00:11:07,373
I just-

313
00:11:07,373 --> 00:11:10,283
I mean, we, we- … don't partake
… we just don't do it because we

314
00:11:10,683 --> 00:11:11,853
choose a different vice, right?

315
00:11:11,853 --> 00:11:15,833
So it's like we will sometimes grab a
drink, and he and I will sip on it and

316
00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,793
be like, "Oh, that was nice." Yeah.

317
00:11:18,293 --> 00:11:18,783
Better things.

318
00:11:18,783 --> 00:11:19,773
I like the flavors.

319
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,893
I, I, I love beer.

320
00:11:21,953 --> 00:11:22,403
I like a liquor.

321
00:11:22,493 --> 00:11:23,733
I am a beer person.

322
00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:24,293
I'm a good liquor person.

323
00:11:24,293 --> 00:11:28,323
Like, give me a Dos with
some salt, and I'm good.

324
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:29,733
Like, I love that.

325
00:11:29,753 --> 00:11:31,263
I can drink 'em like water.

326
00:11:31,763 --> 00:11:33,073
But yeah.

327
00:11:33,623 --> 00:11:33,843
I-

328
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:34,863
There is a lot of pressure

329
00:11:34,883 --> 00:11:37,693
…
you know, the thing about it is, is
that, you know, when, when we started

330
00:11:37,703 --> 00:11:40,233
dating, we were heavy drinkers.

331
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:40,453
Yeah.

332
00:11:40,683 --> 00:11:43,013
And we would go out to the bar-
Yeah … and we would shut out- Yes

333
00:11:43,023 --> 00:11:44,773
uh, shut, shut it down, you know?

334
00:11:45,093 --> 00:11:45,523
Um-

335
00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:48,673
When did we stop really
drink- When was that?

336
00:11:48,703 --> 00:11:52,813
We, I know, hello, we had COVID, 'cause
we were drinking some wine bottles

337
00:11:53,123 --> 00:11:54,883
It was, it was after
COVID, that's for sure.

338
00:11:54,883 --> 00:11:56,303
I was probably like, uh,
I don't know It's been

339
00:11:56,303 --> 00:11:57,223
like three years already?

340
00:11:57,273 --> 00:11:58,443
It's been about three or four years.

341
00:11:58,443 --> 00:11:58,493
About

342
00:11:58,493 --> 00:11:59,053
three or four years,

343
00:11:59,273 --> 00:11:59,373
right?

344
00:11:59,453 --> 00:11:59,983
Yeah.

345
00:11:59,983 --> 00:12:00,193
Yeah.

346
00:12:00,193 --> 00:12:01,253
Yeah, so it's been a bit.

347
00:12:01,393 --> 00:12:03,233
And we just thought, 'cause
we're getting fucking old.

348
00:12:03,813 --> 00:12:04,923
We're getting old.

349
00:12:05,093 --> 00:12:05,883
Those hangovers, dude.

350
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,073
Uh, I don't know.

351
00:12:07,073 --> 00:12:07,493
I mean-

352
00:12:08,313 --> 00:12:08,353
That's

353
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,773
okay … it wasn't so much the
hangovers that were killing me.

354
00:12:10,783 --> 00:12:11,443
For me it was.

355
00:12:11,463 --> 00:12:14,833
It was, I wasn't having
fun with it anymore.

356
00:12:14,843 --> 00:12:15,243
Yeah.

357
00:12:15,263 --> 00:12:19,463
So I remember we would go out,
and we would have a drink, and I

358
00:12:19,463 --> 00:12:22,333
remember w- I would just be sitting
there and I'd just be like sweating.

359
00:12:22,563 --> 00:12:22,843
Yeah.

360
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:27,243
And I'd feel gross, because the first
drink or two- … it, it kind of raises

361
00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:31,483
your blood pressure, and then you're just
feeling sweaty and gross, and I'm just

362
00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:37,363
like, "I just paid eight, $10 for this
frigging drink, and I'm gonna do two of

363
00:12:37,363 --> 00:12:38,763
them, and, and then I'm gonna be what?

364
00:12:38,913 --> 00:12:39,823
Ready to go to sleep?"

365
00:12:40,013 --> 00:12:40,413
Yeah.

366
00:12:40,423 --> 00:12:41,363
Like, that sucks.

367
00:12:41,373 --> 00:12:41,873
You know what I mean?

368
00:12:41,873 --> 00:12:42,153
Yeah.

369
00:12:42,193 --> 00:12:46,383
If I'm gonna be up all night doing shots,
uh, you know, because I'm pretending to

370
00:12:46,383 --> 00:12:48,203
be young again or whatever, okay fine.

371
00:12:48,583 --> 00:12:51,363
I'm gonna go balls to the wall with
it, and we're gonna have some fun.

372
00:12:51,963 --> 00:12:56,183
But I can't do just a few drinks,
'cause it's gonna put me to sleep.

373
00:12:56,393 --> 00:12:57,063
Not to mention-

374
00:12:57,113 --> 00:12:57,683
You can't even,

375
00:12:57,833 --> 00:12:58,753
I- … it'll give me whiskey dick

376
00:12:58,813 --> 00:12:59,573
I- oh yeah.

377
00:12:59,573 --> 00:13:01,493
Mm. I don't even think you
could do one drink anymore.

378
00:13:01,493 --> 00:13:02,463
I could do one drink.

379
00:13:02,473 --> 00:13:04,293
I could do, I could do several.

380
00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:05,043
I doubt that.

381
00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:06,913
I could do a lotta
drinking, let me tell you.

382
00:13:07,363 --> 00:13:08,363
I could double fist it.

383
00:13:08,573 --> 00:13:08,903
Is that right?

384
00:13:09,053 --> 00:13:09,543
Double fist it.

385
00:13:09,553 --> 00:13:09,763
I

386
00:13:09,803 --> 00:13:10,833
bet you could double fist it.

387
00:13:10,843 --> 00:13:11,773
I can double fist it.

388
00:13:12,273 --> 00:13:16,033
Hey, you remember that one time at that
party where we saw that girl get fisted?

389
00:13:16,103 --> 00:13:16,693
Yes.

390
00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:17,573
Classic.

391
00:13:17,793 --> 00:13:18,073
Oh, wait.

392
00:13:18,083 --> 00:13:19,303
It was your birthday party.

393
00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:20,773
That was my birthday party.

394
00:13:20,823 --> 00:13:21,123
Yeah.

395
00:13:21,123 --> 00:13:22,183
I don't know where she is, but yeah.

396
00:13:22,573 --> 00:13:24,263
I've never seen that in my life.

397
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:25,363
Oh, man.

398
00:13:25,373 --> 00:13:25,393
Yeah.

399
00:13:25,893 --> 00:13:26,973
I'm, um, not into that.

400
00:13:27,903 --> 00:13:27,923
You

401
00:13:27,923 --> 00:13:28,453
know- And let me tell you, oh-

402
00:13:28,953 --> 00:13:29,253
I had

403
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:29,543
never-

404
00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:31,183
that was a perfect
scenario of- … seen it

405
00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:31,423
before

406
00:13:31,653 --> 00:13:31,983
…
pressure.

407
00:13:32,453 --> 00:13:32,673
Oh?

408
00:13:33,623 --> 00:13:33,973
How's that?

409
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:34,463
Yes.

410
00:13:34,803 --> 00:13:36,523
Because they were telling her to do it.

411
00:13:37,023 --> 00:13:39,623
But it, but she liked to do it.

412
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,453
Um, I don't think she was ready.

413
00:13:42,043 --> 00:13:43,883
I think it was her idea.

414
00:13:44,383 --> 00:13:45,053
I don't think so

415
00:13:45,843 --> 00:13:46,703
She liked it

416
00:13:46,883 --> 00:13:49,173
No, she liked it, but I don't
think she was ready to do it then

417
00:13:49,783 --> 00:13:50,293
Really?

418
00:13:50,343 --> 00:13:50,733
Yeah

419
00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:52,413
I thought it was her idea

420
00:13:53,413 --> 00:13:53,823
No.

421
00:13:54,663 --> 00:13:55,483
You weren't there

422
00:13:55,983 --> 00:13:56,253
Well, that's fair

423
00:13:56,263 --> 00:13:57,793
Well, I think I was sucking your dick

424
00:13:58,293 --> 00:13:59,753
Yeah, so then you weren't there

425
00:13:59,813 --> 00:14:01,613
No, I was right next to
them listening to them

426
00:14:01,703 --> 00:14:02,433
I was there, too

427
00:14:02,763 --> 00:14:02,953
Yeah

428
00:14:03,353 --> 00:14:04,163
I was sitting

429
00:14:04,253 --> 00:14:04,773
back listening Don't you remember?

430
00:14:04,773 --> 00:14:05,603
You were sitting back.

431
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:09,623
Remember she was like, um, " No, not…"

432
00:14:09,663 --> 00:14:14,013
Like, I remember her saying, like,
"Yeah, not, not here." And they ended

433
00:14:14,013 --> 00:14:16,703
up going to the room and doing it,
'cause it was, like, six of them

434
00:14:16,713 --> 00:14:17,753
I, I don't recall that at all

435
00:14:17,753 --> 00:14:22,483
Yes, I do Huh I mean, after that,
of course she liked it, but pressure

436
00:14:22,983 --> 00:14:23,583
Pressure

437
00:14:23,723 --> 00:14:24,413
Pressure

438
00:14:24,523 --> 00:14:24,853
Yeah.

439
00:14:24,943 --> 00:14:25,283
Well

440
00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:26,963
Stop with the pressure

441
00:14:27,203 --> 00:14:30,673
You know, for, for me I, I, I
have a hard time telling people no

442
00:14:31,273 --> 00:14:32,103
Why is that?

443
00:14:32,603 --> 00:14:34,313
Uh, I don't like to hurt feelings

444
00:14:34,663 --> 00:14:38,893
But i, I mean, like, if, if some girl that
you don't like is grabbing you by the hand

445
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:41,823
Well, that's different if
it's a girl I don't like

446
00:14:42,623 --> 00:14:42,813
Mm

447
00:14:42,823 --> 00:14:45,793
But if it's somebody that I en-
enjoy as a person, it's hard

448
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:47,003
for, for me to tell them no

449
00:14:47,163 --> 00:14:47,463
Hmm

450
00:14:47,963 --> 00:14:48,223
Yeah

451
00:14:48,673 --> 00:14:49,143
Really?

452
00:14:50,073 --> 00:14:50,373
Yeah

453
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,283
Now, what if you've already had sex
with them and you didn't like it,

454
00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:56,193
and they still are like, "Hi, Adam.

455
00:14:56,193 --> 00:14:57,053
Come on, let's go to the back"

456
00:14:57,443 --> 00:14:57,933
Um-

457
00:14:57,943 --> 00:14:58,933
You still don't know how to say no?

458
00:14:58,943 --> 00:15:00,513
I still don't know how
to say no No Yeah, no.

459
00:15:01,503 --> 00:15:02,823
I would probably endure it

460
00:15:02,973 --> 00:15:03,743
Yeah, you would

461
00:15:03,843 --> 00:15:04,213
Yeah.

462
00:15:04,743 --> 00:15:07,023
'Cause I don't like to
hurt feelings I'm sorry.

463
00:15:07,023 --> 00:15:11,153
I'm just- I'm not … I, I'm, I
wish I could be a cold-blooded

464
00:15:11,153 --> 00:15:13,043
bastard like yourself, but I can't

465
00:15:13,053 --> 00:15:14,373
It's not cold-blooded.

466
00:15:14,463 --> 00:15:17,983
I am just very honest.

467
00:15:18,103 --> 00:15:18,663
I'm honest

468
00:15:18,693 --> 00:15:19,613
I'm honest, too

469
00:15:19,803 --> 00:15:20,313
You're not.

470
00:15:20,323 --> 00:15:21,683
That's not being honest.

471
00:15:21,773 --> 00:15:21,833
You didn't

472
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,963
even- Well, I, okay, first off,
it's a hypothetical situation- Yeah.

473
00:15:24,963 --> 00:15:28,203
Oh, … so you can't label me a liar
if I've never had it happen before

474
00:15:28,203 --> 00:15:29,253
Hypothetically

475
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:35,013
But I'm talking here, you know, I'm
saying it, n- it's, it's not honest,

476
00:15:35,023 --> 00:15:37,113
but it's not lying actively either.

477
00:15:37,113 --> 00:15:38,923
It's just going with the flow.

478
00:15:39,703 --> 00:15:41,393
Hey, because let me tell you something.

479
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:42,133
That's pressure

480
00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:44,933
Keep in mind, you may
have had a bad first time-

481
00:15:45,003 --> 00:15:45,363
Uh-huh

482
00:15:45,383 --> 00:15:47,223
…
but the second time could be better.

483
00:15:47,883 --> 00:15:51,113
And the more you do it, the
more you get to know each other.

484
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:52,913
Boom, improved sex.

485
00:15:52,923 --> 00:15:54,083
So let me tell you something.

486
00:15:54,093 --> 00:15:56,033
I don't just cut off immediately.

487
00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:57,453
I like to give a few chances.

488
00:15:57,953 --> 00:16:01,013
See if you can mold this
clay into a nice little pot

489
00:16:01,213 --> 00:16:01,633
No

490
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:02,893
You like pot?

491
00:16:03,893 --> 00:16:04,163
Yeah.

492
00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:07,283
I'm just saying, you know,
yeah, I would go- I think

493
00:16:07,283 --> 00:16:07,373
you

494
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,873
give yourself your- I would
probably go along with, or I

495
00:16:08,873 --> 00:16:10,473
would find a way out of it.

496
00:16:11,213 --> 00:16:11,603
Mm-mm.

497
00:16:11,673 --> 00:16:12,863
You, you would be my way out of it.

498
00:16:13,553 --> 00:16:13,803
No.

499
00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:15,473
I would tell you, "You need
to get me out of this."

500
00:16:15,473 --> 00:16:17,153
I cannot, I cannot be your out.

501
00:16:17,203 --> 00:16:18,373
You gotta be my out.

502
00:16:18,623 --> 00:16:21,463
What are we married for if you're
not gonna take care of this for me?

503
00:16:21,463 --> 00:16:21,703
You

504
00:16:21,713 --> 00:16:22,823
have to learn to say- This
was a part of the vows

505
00:16:22,873 --> 00:16:25,913
…
you have to learn to
say, "Oh, not right now."

506
00:16:26,413 --> 00:16:27,273
Not right now

507
00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:27,573
Yeah.

508
00:16:27,603 --> 00:16:28,993
Yeah, I'm not in, I'm
not in the mood right

509
00:16:28,993 --> 00:16:29,013
now.

510
00:16:29,013 --> 00:16:31,533
If they listen to the show, they
know that I'm always ready to go.

511
00:16:31,873 --> 00:16:32,353
Mm-hmm.

512
00:16:32,853 --> 00:16:33,599
So not right now- And

513
00:16:33,599 --> 00:16:35,063
that you don't know how to say no

514
00:16:35,103 --> 00:16:36,143
…
not right now-

515
00:16:36,153 --> 00:16:36,963
So ladies-

516
00:16:37,073 --> 00:16:37,383
…
is a very

517
00:16:37,883 --> 00:16:37,993
difficult thing.

518
00:16:38,513 --> 00:16:39,213
What the hell, babe?

519
00:16:39,213 --> 00:16:40,523
Ladies.

520
00:16:41,023 --> 00:16:43,883
If you want that, all you
have to do is go up to him.

521
00:16:44,653 --> 00:16:47,013
All you have to do is go up
to me and make me like you.

522
00:16:47,123 --> 00:16:47,863
There's a difference.

523
00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:49,593
You can't just, just do that.

524
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,483
You can't just, uh, go

525
00:16:51,483 --> 00:16:53,613
up- Some girl just goes up to you
and sits down with you and is like,

526
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,503
"Hey, I think you're handsome.

527
00:16:56,373 --> 00:16:57,683
Um, do you wanna go to the back?"

528
00:16:58,603 --> 00:17:00,283
I would need a little
bit more than just that.

529
00:17:00,293 --> 00:17:00,533
Bullshit.

530
00:17:01,193 --> 00:17:01,553
Bullshit.

531
00:17:02,053 --> 00:17:03,633
I would need more than that.

532
00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:05,133
I'm calling bullshit.

533
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:06,333
I would need more than that.

534
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:06,498
Bullshit.

535
00:17:06,498 --> 00:17:07,483
I would need some conversation.

536
00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:07,763
That

537
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,203
alone is pressure.

538
00:17:10,083 --> 00:17:11,573
You would feel under the pressure.

539
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:12,383
Oh my gosh.

540
00:17:12,673 --> 00:17:13,643
You would look at me and be like-

541
00:17:13,643 --> 00:17:14,303
That is so not

542
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:14,763
true

543
00:17:14,763 --> 00:17:17,413
"Babe, I'm gonna go to the back." And
then I would look at you and be like

544
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:18,223
No, no.

545
00:17:18,223 --> 00:17:18,723
So look- You know what?

546
00:17:18,723 --> 00:17:22,443
I would, I would look them in the eye
and I would say, "Thank you so much

547
00:17:22,453 --> 00:17:26,693
for those kind words, but let me tell
you, I think we should talk a little

548
00:17:26,693 --> 00:17:29,693
bit more first before I go to the back.

549
00:17:30,193 --> 00:17:31,593
But yes, I will go to the back with you.

550
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:32,313
Just give me a little bit."

551
00:17:32,503 --> 00:17:32,873
See?

552
00:17:33,773 --> 00:17:34,203
What?

553
00:17:34,203 --> 00:17:36,473
It's, uh, it's, it's being honest.

554
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,077
I'm saying, I… Yes, I'll go to
the back with you- You put a lot of

555
00:17:39,077 --> 00:17:40,213
pressure on yourself … but you need
to put a little bit of work on that.

556
00:17:40,223 --> 00:17:43,873
You put a lot of pressure on yourself to
be the nice person and not the honest,

557
00:17:43,873 --> 00:17:44,086
upfront person.

558
00:17:44,086 --> 00:17:46,753
Well, so let me tell you, it's
not that I'm putting pressure

559
00:17:46,753 --> 00:17:48,553
on myself to be the nice person.

560
00:17:48,843 --> 00:17:50,563
It's that I'm the nice person.

561
00:17:51,213 --> 00:17:53,333
It's not a pressure that
I'm putting on myself.

562
00:17:53,623 --> 00:17:54,853
It's who I am.

563
00:17:55,263 --> 00:17:59,473
And so I don't wanna be mean to somebody.

564
00:17:59,803 --> 00:18:02,913
But if you don't like something,
if y'all don't mesh…

565
00:18:03,413 --> 00:18:05,823
If we don't mesh, then it'll
be natural that we're just-

566
00:18:06,333 --> 00:18:07,013
You're already in the

567
00:18:07,013 --> 00:18:07,473
back … gonna go our separate

568
00:18:07,483 --> 00:18:07,523
ways.

569
00:18:07,523 --> 00:18:08,593
She already has her dick in your mouth.

570
00:18:08,593 --> 00:18:08,753
Wow,

571
00:18:09,253 --> 00:18:12,573
you really- … you really went
crazy with this hypothetical.

572
00:18:12,573 --> 00:18:15,543
That's… She's already
sucking your hypothetical dick.

573
00:18:15,763 --> 00:18:16,323
No.

574
00:18:16,753 --> 00:18:22,633
Like, first off, I can't, I can't
answer if you keep changing the rules.

575
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:26,253
You give me one scenario and then
you're like, "Well, no, but then

576
00:18:26,253 --> 00:18:29,313
this turn and then that turn." And
it's like, what the hell, dude?

577
00:18:29,623 --> 00:18:29,855
'Cause that's what happened.

578
00:18:29,855 --> 00:18:31,823
Because you're trying to
paint me into a corner- 'Cause

579
00:18:31,823 --> 00:18:32,083
that's what

580
00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:34,443
happened … with no… No,
that's not what happens.

581
00:18:34,443 --> 00:18:35,683
I'm a big boy.

582
00:18:35,683 --> 00:18:36,983
I make my own decisions.

583
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,013
I know how to say no.

584
00:18:38,293 --> 00:18:38,913
No, you don't.

585
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,033
I've said no before.

586
00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:41,163
Have I said no before?

587
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,153
No, baby.

588
00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:43,803
I've said no before.

589
00:18:43,813 --> 00:18:43,833
No.

590
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,383
We've… It's been more like a nah.

591
00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:47,873
Nah, I'm good.

592
00:18:47,913 --> 00:18:48,803
I was just thinking.

593
00:18:48,803 --> 00:18:50,133
I mean, I feel like you, you do.

594
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:52,373
You give yourself a lot of… You
put yourself a lot of pressure.

595
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:59,025
Uh, you know, I, I like
myself the way I am

596
00:18:59,225 --> 00:18:59,645
Yeah

597
00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:00,675
Um, and- I like

598
00:19:00,675 --> 00:19:00,845
you

599
00:19:00,855 --> 00:19:03,375
…
I don't want to be any other way.

600
00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:07,735
So if that means that I gotta, you
know, have sex with somebody that

601
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:13,955
maybe I am not 100% enthusiastically
into, well, I'll think about you.

602
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:15,475
Oh, okay.

603
00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:15,885
Yeah.

604
00:19:16,565 --> 00:19:17,195
That works.

605
00:19:17,405 --> 00:19:18,155
That works for me too.

606
00:19:18,215 --> 00:19:18,325
That

607
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,055
works for me.

608
00:19:19,055 --> 00:19:19,975
I mean, I'm just saying.

609
00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:20,065
There you go.

610
00:19:20,065 --> 00:19:20,375
Yeah.

611
00:19:20,795 --> 00:19:23,275
No, I mean, yeah, so back
to the pressure part.

612
00:19:23,775 --> 00:19:25,055
Back to the pressure part.

613
00:19:25,275 --> 00:19:25,605
Yeah.

614
00:19:26,549 --> 00:19:27,619
Hold on, hold on.

615
00:19:27,619 --> 00:19:29,299
We need to tell you guys about 3Fun first.

616
00:19:29,489 --> 00:19:30,039
Oh, yeah.

617
00:19:30,649 --> 00:19:33,709
Okay, so 3Fun is the app.

618
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:34,949
You guys know the app.

619
00:19:35,369 --> 00:19:37,779
And if you don't know, it's for
couples and singles who wanna

620
00:19:37,779 --> 00:19:39,469
connect with like-minded people.

621
00:19:39,669 --> 00:19:40,989
And it actually works.

622
00:19:41,099 --> 00:19:42,369
Like, we're not just saying that.

623
00:19:42,759 --> 00:19:46,049
It's easy, it's low pressure, and
it's way less awkward than trying

624
00:19:46,049 --> 00:19:47,069
to figure it out on your own.

625
00:19:47,239 --> 00:19:48,269
Way less.

626
00:19:48,769 --> 00:19:49,719
We're gonna leave it at that.

627
00:19:50,209 --> 00:19:50,499
Yep.

628
00:19:50,949 --> 00:19:52,089
Download 3Fun.

629
00:19:52,239 --> 00:19:54,229
The link is in the show notes.

630
00:19:54,419 --> 00:19:55,929
Okay, where were we?

631
00:19:56,379 --> 00:19:56,669
Huh.

632
00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:59,591
I feel like there just needs to be
a little bit more communication.

633
00:19:59,591 --> 00:20:03,741
Like, especially with, you've been
in, you're new or you're not new,

634
00:20:03,991 --> 00:20:05,421
you've been in it for a long time.

635
00:20:06,091 --> 00:20:10,421
Don't pressure your spouse
to do anything they haven't

636
00:20:10,421 --> 00:20:12,101
already told you they wanna do.

637
00:20:12,601 --> 00:20:14,351
Well, you know, I, I, I
think to- I used to get

638
00:20:14,361 --> 00:20:15,191
that with girls

639
00:20:15,351 --> 00:20:16,311
…
to… What do you mean?

640
00:20:16,811 --> 00:20:18,591
The men would push their girls on me.

641
00:20:18,891 --> 00:20:20,251
Oh.

642
00:20:20,751 --> 00:20:28,111
I, I think to add on to what you're
saying there- We really just as, as

643
00:20:28,141 --> 00:20:31,351
guys, uh, as husbands, excuse me-

644
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,111
Or partners.

645
00:20:32,371 --> 00:20:33,061
Male partners, yeah

646
00:20:33,111 --> 00:20:34,521
…
as the male partner-

647
00:20:34,531 --> 00:20:34,921
Mm-hmm

648
00:20:34,981 --> 00:20:41,311
…
um, we should be providing
safety for our, our spouses.

649
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:41,611
Mm-hmm.

650
00:20:42,101 --> 00:20:43,651
Uh, and that doesn't just go for the guys.

651
00:20:43,651 --> 00:20:46,291
That's actually… Sorry,
that's, that's equal all around.

652
00:20:46,381 --> 00:20:46,941
That's equal, yeah.

653
00:20:46,951 --> 00:20:49,681
Uh, both partners should be-
Yeah … really putting forth as much

654
00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:52,281
effort as possible to create a safe-

655
00:20:52,481 --> 00:20:52,651
Yeah

656
00:20:52,681 --> 00:20:55,411
environment for their spouse.

657
00:20:55,821 --> 00:21:01,881
And when you put somebody up to
something and they very much look

658
00:21:01,911 --> 00:21:06,441
uncomfortable, there's a very, there's
a very specific look that people

659
00:21:06,441 --> 00:21:07,971
give off when they're uncomfortable.

660
00:21:08,061 --> 00:21:08,291
Mm-hmm.

661
00:21:08,311 --> 00:21:14,041
And, uh, even people who are good at
keeping a straight face will flinch a

662
00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:16,221
certain way when they're uncomfortable.

663
00:21:16,221 --> 00:21:16,551
Mm-hmm.

664
00:21:16,841 --> 00:21:20,621
Um, so y- you gotta, as a spouse,
recognize when your, when your

665
00:21:20,631 --> 00:21:24,811
partner is, is l- feeling or
expressing that uncomfortableness.

666
00:21:24,811 --> 00:21:25,501
Mm-hmm.

667
00:21:25,991 --> 00:21:29,341
And don't put them in situations
where they're- Yeah … gonna

668
00:21:29,351 --> 00:21:30,681
have to feel that, you know?

669
00:21:30,681 --> 00:21:32,011
And just kind of pull back.

670
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:36,211
Even if you did push a little bit,
just pull back and go, "Hey, uh,

671
00:21:36,231 --> 00:21:39,871
you know, I, I know you weren't that
comfortable with this, and I'm sorry.

672
00:21:39,921 --> 00:21:41,271
I should have talked to you about it.

673
00:21:41,281 --> 00:21:43,591
What's the best way to
go about this next time?"

674
00:21:43,601 --> 00:21:43,866
Mm-hmm.

675
00:21:43,866 --> 00:21:44,131
Mm-hmm.

676
00:21:44,201 --> 00:21:49,001
Uh, you know, that's, I think,
how I probably would handle it.

677
00:21:49,001 --> 00:21:51,631
Because, you know, when we were e-
early on, like I said, I was pushy.

678
00:21:52,371 --> 00:21:56,141
Um, I wasn't pushy in that manner,
but I was pushy in other respects.

679
00:21:56,161 --> 00:21:56,211
Mm-hmm.

680
00:21:56,791 --> 00:22:00,751
And, uh, you know, I recognize that
now, and I take accountability for

681
00:22:00,751 --> 00:22:03,251
it now, and I'm not like that now.

682
00:22:03,631 --> 00:22:07,791
But it's taken years of going
through all of that and gaining our

683
00:22:07,791 --> 00:22:12,111
experiences, and me being able to sit
back and go, "Oh, you know what? I'm

684
00:22:12,111 --> 00:22:15,621
not in this to fuck. I'm actually in
this for some cool-ass connections."

685
00:22:15,691 --> 00:22:16,081
Mm-hmm.

686
00:22:16,141 --> 00:22:18,921
And to be able to appreciate all that.

687
00:22:19,111 --> 00:22:19,391
I don't know.

688
00:22:19,891 --> 00:22:20,281
Yeah I

689
00:22:21,121 --> 00:22:22,791
think that's what it comes
down to, is just- Yeah

690
00:22:22,791 --> 00:22:24,221
really protecting your, your partner.

691
00:22:24,221 --> 00:22:24,771
Your partner.

692
00:22:25,051 --> 00:22:25,781
Yeah, for sure.

693
00:22:25,991 --> 00:22:26,481
Um-

694
00:22:26,581 --> 00:22:30,281
And also for the per- other person
to be a little bit more s- outspoken.

695
00:22:30,551 --> 00:22:32,561
Like, if you don't like
something and you're just not

696
00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:34,301
ready, like, be vocal about it.

697
00:22:35,251 --> 00:22:36,871
Um, it's okay.

698
00:22:37,371 --> 00:22:38,361
Like, what's gonna happen?

699
00:22:39,141 --> 00:22:39,551
Yeah.

700
00:22:40,001 --> 00:22:40,391
Yeah.

701
00:22:40,741 --> 00:22:46,491
You know, I… How, how many times
since we've been doing this, how

702
00:22:46,491 --> 00:22:51,151
many times would you say that
you've felt pressure sexually?

703
00:22:51,651 --> 00:22:55,311
F- Like me, me being pressured
to have sex with somebody?

704
00:22:55,671 --> 00:23:00,771
Yeah, or, or having somebody pressured
into having sex with you or whatever.

705
00:23:01,271 --> 00:23:03,321
Um, it's not even that,
it's not even the sex part.

706
00:23:03,361 --> 00:23:04,481
I, I've never had that.

707
00:23:04,501 --> 00:23:09,741
I, I, I know how to s- I know… I'm okay
with telling people, like, "I, no." Yeah.

708
00:23:09,741 --> 00:23:10,681
"I'm, I'm not interested."

709
00:23:10,921 --> 00:23:11,101
Hm.

710
00:23:11,191 --> 00:23:16,781
Um, prob- I've had more of the
vanilla-ish, where it's like

711
00:23:17,551 --> 00:23:18,941
the pressure to kiss a girl.

712
00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:19,751
Ah.

713
00:23:20,101 --> 00:23:21,731
Like, that was always the thing.

714
00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:22,041
Huh.

715
00:23:22,121 --> 00:23:24,341
Um, I don't have that anymore.

716
00:23:24,341 --> 00:23:26,411
I've never had a problem with saying,

717
00:23:26,491 --> 00:23:26,921
"
Mm,

718
00:23:27,421 --> 00:23:34,121
yeah, no, actually, I'm lying to
you." I've, I've felt the pressure to

719
00:23:34,141 --> 00:23:37,171
have sex with somebody a few times.

720
00:23:37,431 --> 00:23:37,811
Really?

721
00:23:38,101 --> 00:23:42,291
Because maybe you wanted to have sex
with that other person, with a woman.

722
00:23:42,301 --> 00:23:42,721
Sounds about

723
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:42,831
right.

724
00:23:42,831 --> 00:23:43,881
And then I didn't have a choice.

725
00:23:43,891 --> 00:23:47,841
So, kinda taking one for the team, but
I really felt the pressure from you.

726
00:23:48,441 --> 00:23:48,821
Mm.

727
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:49,361
Um…

728
00:23:49,931 --> 00:23:53,431
And see, that's the hard part is
because it wouldn't be the other

729
00:23:53,431 --> 00:24:00,781
way around because it's never really
been your want to seek out stuff.

730
00:24:01,701 --> 00:24:02,661
It was always mine.

731
00:24:03,141 --> 00:24:04,011
Yeah.

732
00:24:04,091 --> 00:24:08,351
I'm more of a, it hap- if it happens, it
happens, and I can wait for it to happen.

733
00:24:08,951 --> 00:24:09,321
Yeah.

734
00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:12,511
Yeah, I've never been one
to, " Let's do this now."

735
00:24:13,041 --> 00:24:13,461
Mm-hmm.

736
00:24:13,461 --> 00:24:13,881
Yeah.

737
00:24:14,851 --> 00:24:15,111
Yeah.

738
00:24:15,111 --> 00:24:19,611
When, uh, you know, I remember,
uh, there were a lot of times where

739
00:24:19,611 --> 00:24:25,301
there was… But that's also where
we had that rule that said that we

740
00:24:25,301 --> 00:24:28,931
could not, uh, play individually.

741
00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:29,281
Mm-hmm.

742
00:24:29,291 --> 00:24:31,691
We had to play together, full swap.

743
00:24:31,701 --> 00:24:32,761
Mm. Same room only.

744
00:24:33,361 --> 00:24:40,181
Um, so we would both have to
be attracted to the couple in

745
00:24:40,181 --> 00:24:41,591
order for it to take place.

746
00:24:41,601 --> 00:24:41,791
Mm-hmm.

747
00:24:42,101 --> 00:24:43,291
And, you know, on, uh, I think-

748
00:24:43,291 --> 00:24:45,351
But even then, I would push
my feelings to the side.

749
00:24:45,821 --> 00:24:47,011
Well, no, that's what I'm saying.

750
00:24:47,011 --> 00:24:47,191
Yeah.

751
00:24:47,191 --> 00:24:49,971
That's, that's why- Yes … we
were in that situation.

752
00:24:49,971 --> 00:24:50,021
Yeah,

753
00:24:50,021 --> 00:24:50,291
yeah.

754
00:24:50,341 --> 00:24:55,741
Was because the, uh, because my, my whole
point was if we're gonna wait for you

755
00:24:55,741 --> 00:24:59,941
to be fully attracted and, and both of
us to be attracted to another couple,

756
00:25:00,401 --> 00:25:02,901
we're never gonna get experiences.

757
00:25:02,901 --> 00:25:03,861
We're never gonna play.

758
00:25:03,871 --> 00:25:09,141
Mm. Like, that's, you're, you're too
selective, and I'm not selective enough.

759
00:25:09,191 --> 00:25:13,831
So between the two of us, it's
always gonna be me pursuing and

760
00:25:13,831 --> 00:25:17,291
you, uh, you know, having to take
one for the team, so to speak.

761
00:25:17,291 --> 00:25:17,481
Yeah,

762
00:25:17,931 --> 00:25:18,091
yeah.

763
00:25:18,091 --> 00:25:22,391
'
Cause it's just not that often that
we find, uh, another couple that

764
00:25:22,391 --> 00:25:23,991
we both are on the same level with.

765
00:25:24,711 --> 00:25:25,351
Correct.

766
00:25:25,521 --> 00:25:25,861
Yeah.

767
00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:26,241
Yeah.

768
00:25:26,541 --> 00:25:30,121
No, I mean, there's definitely
been pressure throughout the years.

769
00:25:30,171 --> 00:25:31,111
It's better now.

770
00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:36,321
There's not, there's not so much pressure
I, uh, for us, like there's no pressure.

771
00:25:36,331 --> 00:25:36,361
Like-

772
00:25:37,001 --> 00:25:38,861
No, there's a different kind of pressure.

773
00:25:39,751 --> 00:25:40,061
Is there?

774
00:25:40,801 --> 00:25:45,781
Yeah, it's not, uh, it's not
necessarily sexual pressure anymore.

775
00:25:45,801 --> 00:25:50,461
It's more, uh, podcast show pressure.

776
00:25:50,961 --> 00:25:52,111
There's a lot of pressure there.

777
00:25:52,701 --> 00:25:58,371
Um, we have so much going on with
the show and, and then on top of

778
00:25:58,371 --> 00:26:01,731
all that, you know, we're not, we're
not necessarily nobodies anymore.

779
00:26:02,251 --> 00:26:05,731
Um, so people tend to know us-
Mm-hmm … a little bit more now.

780
00:26:05,811 --> 00:26:06,171
Mm-hmm.

781
00:26:06,251 --> 00:26:10,251
Um, and, and it's, it's strange-
Mm-hmm … uh, to be in an

782
00:26:10,261 --> 00:26:14,091
intimate setting sexually, um- Yes

783
00:26:14,101 --> 00:26:19,671
and have people, strangers so to
speak, that, uh, they, they know us

784
00:26:19,671 --> 00:26:21,011
well, but we don't know who they are.

785
00:26:21,031 --> 00:26:21,311
Yes.

786
00:26:21,441 --> 00:26:26,501
And, uh, you know, sometimes, uh, people
will say hello when we're having sex and

787
00:26:26,501 --> 00:26:28,451
stuff, and it's, it's very, it's funny.

788
00:26:28,841 --> 00:26:29,141
You know?

789
00:26:29,151 --> 00:26:29,171
Um-

790
00:26:29,581 --> 00:26:30,871
So it's a pressure to be nice.

791
00:26:30,931 --> 00:26:32,321
But no, it's not even that.

792
00:26:32,321 --> 00:26:37,711
It's, it's, uh, it's more just
a pressure to be on, you know?

793
00:26:37,841 --> 00:26:38,251
Um-

794
00:26:38,271 --> 00:26:39,301
Yes

795
00:26:39,751 --> 00:26:46,771
…
I, uh, there's times where I just don't
wanna talk at all, and all I do is talk.

796
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:47,611
I talk, talk, talk.

797
00:26:48,111 --> 00:26:52,991
And sometimes we'll be around other
lifestyle couples, or we'll be around

798
00:26:53,011 --> 00:26:57,361
other people in the, in the lifestyle
and it's like, if they know me very

799
00:26:57,361 --> 00:27:00,571
well- Mm-hmm … and chances are if
they were friends before we had the

800
00:27:00,571 --> 00:27:05,351
show or anything like that, I know
I don't have to be on with them, and

801
00:27:05,351 --> 00:27:09,051
I have a certain comfort where I can
just sit there and just zone out-

802
00:27:09,401 --> 00:27:09,551
Yes

803
00:27:09,561 --> 00:27:10,941
and not have to say anything.

804
00:27:10,941 --> 00:27:13,101
There's only a few people that
I, we can be like that with.

805
00:27:13,201 --> 00:27:13,701
Yeah.

806
00:27:14,121 --> 00:27:17,491
But outside of that, I feel like
I'm constantly on, and that's,

807
00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:18,821
that's definitely a pressure.

808
00:27:18,821 --> 00:27:19,741
It's exhausting.

809
00:27:19,791 --> 00:27:20,231
Yeah.

810
00:27:20,401 --> 00:27:23,911
Um, but we love what we do.

811
00:27:23,981 --> 00:27:24,151
Yeah.

812
00:27:24,151 --> 00:27:28,401
This is… I mean, this is, uh, uh,
definitely a creative outlet for,

813
00:27:28,451 --> 00:27:34,001
for both of us, and there's a lot
that I get out of it personally.

814
00:27:34,021 --> 00:27:36,031
There's a lot of
satisfaction I get out of it.

815
00:27:36,461 --> 00:27:41,681
Plus, I don't have to really
teach people about me anymore.

816
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:45,671
I can just tell them
to listen to the show.

817
00:27:46,131 --> 00:27:46,361
I, yeah.

818
00:27:46,361 --> 00:27:47,211
Uh, I had that come up today.

819
00:27:47,211 --> 00:27:47,811
I do that.

820
00:27:48,551 --> 00:27:56,041
Um, I, uh, I was reached out to by, uh,
a couple of, uh, people on Three Fun.

821
00:27:56,621 --> 00:27:56,941
Mm-hmm.

822
00:27:57,031 --> 00:27:57,711
On Three Fun?

823
00:27:58,181 --> 00:28:03,681
Yeah, so I had, uh… There's, there was
two couples, and the husbands of these

824
00:28:03,691 --> 00:28:06,101
two couples have reached out to me today.

825
00:28:06,291 --> 00:28:06,551
Mm-hmm.

826
00:28:06,651 --> 00:28:11,871
So we, we message back and forth, uh,
a couple of times, and then they start

827
00:28:11,901 --> 00:28:17,091
asking this and that, but they see in
the profile that we have a podcast.

828
00:28:17,091 --> 00:28:17,301
Mm-hmm.

829
00:28:17,301 --> 00:28:22,101
Um, and so I really just say, "Hey,
you know, if you, if you really wanna

830
00:28:22,101 --> 00:28:27,201
get to know us as a couple, check
out the show." Uh, because that's us.

831
00:28:27,241 --> 00:28:27,831
This is us.

832
00:28:27,861 --> 00:28:28,091
Yeah.

833
00:28:28,091 --> 00:28:28,251
Yeah.

834
00:28:28,251 --> 00:28:29,051
This is us all the time.

835
00:28:29,061 --> 00:28:29,081
Mm-hmm.

836
00:28:29,091 --> 00:28:33,121
Like, you get obviously
the opinions very easily.

837
00:28:33,581 --> 00:28:36,191
You pull her string and
she'll spew it out for you.

838
00:28:36,651 --> 00:28:38,051
Uh, this is the way we are.

839
00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:40,601
This is the way we are when we meet
up with other couples for dinner or

840
00:28:40,601 --> 00:28:41,861
whatever, you know, things like that.

841
00:28:42,301 --> 00:28:47,431
Um, but I, I will say that I do enjoy
having the show because it's easy for me

842
00:28:47,431 --> 00:28:50,531
to say, "Hey, just… You wanna get to
know me, check out the podcast." Yeah.

843
00:28:50,531 --> 00:28:51,711
'Cause I have a- anxiety, you know?

844
00:28:51,711 --> 00:28:52,361
It's like- Yeah

845
00:28:52,601 --> 00:28:53,741
I don't wanna talk to everybody.

846
00:28:54,391 --> 00:28:55,691
So it helps out, you know.

847
00:28:55,761 --> 00:28:56,931
I, I've definitely enjoyed it.

848
00:28:57,121 --> 00:28:57,541
Yeah.

849
00:28:58,311 --> 00:28:59,751
I mean, it takes the pressure off.

850
00:29:00,201 --> 00:29:00,551
Yeah.

851
00:29:01,181 --> 00:29:01,271
A little bit.

852
00:29:01,271 --> 00:29:02,915
Adds pressure, but it takes pressure off.

853
00:29:02,915 --> 00:29:04,291
It, it takes the pressure off.

854
00:29:04,441 --> 00:29:05,721
But yeah, it does add pressure.

855
00:29:06,001 --> 00:29:10,061
You know, I was, I was just thinking about
something when you said, um- the show.

856
00:29:10,561 --> 00:29:14,021
There's a lot of pressure and,
and this is just probably a female

857
00:29:14,021 --> 00:29:16,861
thing, to look a certain way.

858
00:29:17,121 --> 00:29:17,451
Yeah.

859
00:29:17,951 --> 00:29:19,831
Um, and not, not body type.

860
00:29:20,031 --> 00:29:22,441
I meant like we're going
to this thing, right?

861
00:29:22,441 --> 00:29:26,651
We're going to this big, this
big, um, party in, in New Orleans.

862
00:29:27,601 --> 00:29:28,511
There's pressure there.

863
00:29:28,671 --> 00:29:32,581
There's pressure to be on point
with what you're gonna wear at

864
00:29:32,581 --> 00:29:34,351
these things because they're themed.

865
00:29:34,351 --> 00:29:35,441
Yeah.

866
00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:35,641
Yeah.

867
00:29:36,021 --> 00:29:40,231
Like, I- I already said in my head that
if I don't have the theme of whatever

868
00:29:40,231 --> 00:29:41,631
they're wearing, I'm staying in the room.

869
00:29:41,841 --> 00:29:43,151
Well, they said that you don't have

870
00:29:43,941 --> 00:29:44,441
to wear- Yeah, I'm staying in the room

871
00:29:44,751 --> 00:29:47,221
…
you don't- Yeah … there's people
that don't dress- No … in the

872
00:29:47,221 --> 00:29:48,651
theme, I guarantee you that.

873
00:29:48,651 --> 00:29:48,901
Yeah.

874
00:29:49,691 --> 00:29:50,231
You're crazy.

875
00:29:50,241 --> 00:29:50,971
Staying in the room.

876
00:29:51,301 --> 00:29:53,697
See, now that's a pressure- … that's
a pressure you're putting on yourself

877
00:29:53,697 --> 00:29:54,761
I put the pressure on myself.

878
00:29:54,761 --> 00:29:55,811
You can't say that
they're putting it on you.

879
00:29:55,811 --> 00:29:56,231
And I'm like,

880
00:29:56,251 --> 00:29:56,971
"
Uh, I'll just

881
00:29:56,971 --> 00:29:59,171
stay in the room." 'Cause they, they all
made it real clear. Yeah. They were like,

882
00:29:59,171 --> 00:30:01,071
"You don't have to dress the themes.

883
00:30:01,071 --> 00:30:01,741
You don't have to do this."

884
00:30:01,771 --> 00:30:03,861
But as the woman, you have to.

885
00:30:04,061 --> 00:30:04,411
Why?

886
00:30:04,451 --> 00:30:04,851
You do.

887
00:30:05,221 --> 00:30:07,111
There's some women that
walk around just naked.

888
00:30:07,601 --> 00:30:08,031
Yeah.

889
00:30:08,051 --> 00:30:08,981
Or in lingerie.

890
00:30:09,131 --> 00:30:09,451
No.

891
00:30:09,951 --> 00:30:10,321
Yeah.

892
00:30:10,411 --> 00:30:11,621
And it's like, that's the pressure.

893
00:30:11,891 --> 00:30:13,221
I'm like, "Mm, I'm just gonna…"

894
00:30:13,271 --> 00:30:13,961
The lingerie?

895
00:30:14,361 --> 00:30:14,861
No.

896
00:30:15,421 --> 00:30:16,741
The th- to be in the theme.

897
00:30:16,751 --> 00:30:19,661
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying, not
everybody's gonna be dressed in the theme.

898
00:30:19,671 --> 00:30:22,421
There's gonna be people that are just
gonna be walking around in lingerie.

899
00:30:22,431 --> 00:30:22,791
Yeah.

900
00:30:22,851 --> 00:30:26,911
You're assuming that everybody
there is gonna be dressed in theme.

901
00:30:27,081 --> 00:30:28,851
You haven't even been there, girl.

902
00:30:28,981 --> 00:30:29,521
Pressure.

903
00:30:30,071 --> 00:30:32,211
Ah, you're making up- Already
know … a whole thing in your head.

904
00:30:32,251 --> 00:30:32,771
Already know.

905
00:30:32,781 --> 00:30:35,431
So you can't blame anything,
that, that's just- Pressure

906
00:30:35,481 --> 00:30:37,081
that's just you putting
your own pressure, girl.

907
00:30:37,081 --> 00:30:37,781
Pressure of the themes.

908
00:30:37,781 --> 00:30:38,271
That's crazy.

909
00:30:38,771 --> 00:30:39,861
You are silly.

910
00:30:40,361 --> 00:30:41,541
Well, that's a lot of pressure.

911
00:30:41,621 --> 00:30:42,091
Yes.

912
00:30:42,151 --> 00:30:42,481
Yeah.

913
00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:45,461
I mean, to be… And then to be on point.

914
00:30:46,091 --> 00:30:50,251
Like you said the, the podcast, you,
yeah, you have to look a certain

915
00:30:50,251 --> 00:30:51,541
way, you have to act a certain way.

916
00:30:51,591 --> 00:30:51,981
No.

917
00:30:52,201 --> 00:30:52,751
That's a lot of pressure.

918
00:30:52,751 --> 00:30:56,081
I mean, but no, I just can't…
I- It's hard because I am a

919
00:30:56,081 --> 00:30:58,921
very, I'm a very vocal person.

920
00:30:58,951 --> 00:31:07,361
I, I try to keep as reserve as possible,
like not, not be always opinionated.

921
00:31:07,431 --> 00:31:07,691
Mm-hmm.

922
00:31:07,921 --> 00:31:08,201
Mm-hmm.

923
00:31:08,211 --> 00:31:09,791
But it's hard.

924
00:31:10,291 --> 00:31:15,811
Well, so, you know, it's, it's tougher
for me because I don't wanna stifle you.

925
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:17,721
I want you to be you.

926
00:31:18,211 --> 00:31:19,281
But at the same time-

927
00:31:19,301 --> 00:31:20,071
You, and, but you, um-

928
00:31:20,071 --> 00:31:21,261
I don't want you to be you.

929
00:31:21,301 --> 00:31:21,381
Yeah.

930
00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:22,241
I

931
00:31:22,571 --> 00:31:22,911
have to-

932
00:31:22,921 --> 00:31:23,431
I,

933
00:31:23,491 --> 00:31:25,581
I, you know- I have to protect this world
from you being you sometimes … if a, if,

934
00:31:25,581 --> 00:31:29,681
and, and if something comes up, a
conversation comes up, I already

935
00:31:29,681 --> 00:31:32,211
know that you know that I'm gonna
say something about something.

936
00:31:32,211 --> 00:31:32,711
Like I- Uh-huh

937
00:31:32,831 --> 00:31:35,891
if someone says something, I can walk
away, but there's, that's the pressure.

938
00:31:35,891 --> 00:31:37,171
That's pressure to be nice.

939
00:31:37,671 --> 00:31:38,551
That's a hard-

940
00:31:38,911 --> 00:31:39,891
Pressure to be nice.

941
00:31:39,901 --> 00:31:40,891
That's hard.

942
00:31:40,901 --> 00:31:41,661
Oh my gosh.

943
00:31:41,661 --> 00:31:42,501
I mean, I'm nice.

944
00:31:42,741 --> 00:31:44,011
I'm not, I'm not mean.

945
00:31:44,011 --> 00:31:45,311
I mean, a lot of you know me.

946
00:31:45,311 --> 00:31:46,621
I'm not a mean person.

947
00:31:47,121 --> 00:31:48,551
I do say what's on my mind.

948
00:31:48,561 --> 00:31:52,991
I do probably come off very aggressive.

949
00:31:53,281 --> 00:31:55,131
I'm just, I'm tired.

950
00:31:55,161 --> 00:31:57,371
I've always been the
person who didn't say shit.

951
00:31:57,531 --> 00:32:02,231
I've always been the person
who was always a pushover, and

952
00:32:02,731 --> 00:32:05,031
I'm not that person anymore

953
00:32:05,801 --> 00:32:07,081
Well, I'm glad you found your voice

954
00:32:07,081 --> 00:32:08,321
Yeah, for s- for sure.

955
00:32:08,341 --> 00:32:09,101
Definitely found it.

956
00:32:09,481 --> 00:32:10,841
If only he could shut it up.

957
00:32:11,341 --> 00:32:15,441
You know, I have sat back a few times
and gone, "Damn, what the hell did I do?"

958
00:32:15,471 --> 00:32:16,811
Oh, yeah, when it goes towards you?

959
00:32:16,951 --> 00:32:17,811
Yeah.

960
00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:18,291
Yeah.

961
00:32:18,291 --> 00:32:18,691
Oh, yeah.

962
00:32:18,701 --> 00:32:20,541
Don't send your monkeys my way.

963
00:32:20,921 --> 00:32:21,231
Yeah.

964
00:32:21,301 --> 00:32:22,891
Uh, but yeah, I mean, I'm- I

965
00:32:22,891 --> 00:32:23,871
know how to fight now

966
00:32:23,971 --> 00:32:27,831
…
I'm glad that- Yeah … that you're
the strong woman that you are,

967
00:32:27,831 --> 00:32:29,561
because that's a big turn-on for me.

968
00:32:30,121 --> 00:32:31,391
Uh, that's what I wanted.

969
00:32:32,121 --> 00:32:35,761
But at the same time, I'm like,
damn, there is no off button there.

970
00:32:36,521 --> 00:32:38,501
It's on all the time.

971
00:32:38,561 --> 00:32:38,811
Mm-hmm.

972
00:32:39,141 --> 00:32:41,211
That's a long time to be on, too.

973
00:32:41,421 --> 00:32:42,641
So it's gotta be exhausting.

974
00:32:42,751 --> 00:32:43,251
It's not.

975
00:32:43,381 --> 00:32:45,061
It's gotta be exhausting to be like that.

976
00:32:45,061 --> 00:32:45,251
It's me.

977
00:32:45,251 --> 00:32:45,621
Yeah?

978
00:32:45,761 --> 00:32:45,851
Yeah.

979
00:32:46,701 --> 00:32:48,251
Is it exhausting to be nice?

980
00:32:48,691 --> 00:32:49,271
Yes.

981
00:32:50,141 --> 00:32:50,891
Yes, it is.

982
00:32:50,891 --> 00:32:51,821
No, this comes naturally.

983
00:32:51,821 --> 00:32:52,481
This is me.

984
00:32:52,631 --> 00:32:52,951
Oh.

985
00:32:52,961 --> 00:32:52,981
Nah.

986
00:32:53,251 --> 00:32:54,451
Well, this is me, too.

987
00:32:54,661 --> 00:32:55,321
It's not exhausting

988
00:32:55,821 --> 00:32:56,181
Really?

989
00:32:56,681 --> 00:32:56,691
Mm.

990
00:32:57,661 --> 00:33:01,061
You said the other day that it
was exhausting to be not trusting.

991
00:33:01,561 --> 00:33:04,171
No, it's not exhausting to
not be tr- not trusting.

992
00:33:04,191 --> 00:33:06,251
It's just annoying.

993
00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:07,881
It's annoying.

994
00:33:07,971 --> 00:33:10,621
Like, I don't trust anybody, and
we were just talking about that.

995
00:33:10,621 --> 00:33:11,701
We don't, I don't trust anybody.

996
00:33:11,711 --> 00:33:12,731
It's just annoying.

997
00:33:13,231 --> 00:33:13,561
Yeah.

998
00:33:13,791 --> 00:33:14,161
You know?

999
00:33:14,181 --> 00:33:17,511
'Cause it's like, oh God,
I see the bad in everybody.

1000
00:33:17,661 --> 00:33:19,721
I feel like this was such a negative show.

1001
00:33:20,311 --> 00:33:20,851
No.

1002
00:33:21,821 --> 00:33:22,941
I mean, it's, it's good.

1003
00:33:22,941 --> 00:33:25,511
It's just, I feel like
the tone is so negative.

1004
00:33:25,821 --> 00:33:25,851
Can

1005
00:33:25,991 --> 00:33:26,771
we talk about something else?

1006
00:33:27,281 --> 00:33:27,891
No, no, no.

1007
00:33:27,891 --> 00:33:28,961
I'm, I'm putting it out.

1008
00:33:28,961 --> 00:33:29,021
Yeah.

1009
00:33:29,301 --> 00:33:29,861
It is what it is.

1010
00:33:29,861 --> 00:33:30,081
No pressure.

1011
00:33:30,081 --> 00:33:31,431
People are gonna like it or
they're not gonna like it.

1012
00:33:31,621 --> 00:33:32,711
I'm not feeling the pressure.

1013
00:33:33,211 --> 00:33:33,241
Nope.

1014
00:33:34,091 --> 00:33:34,561
Not me.

1015
00:33:34,621 --> 00:33:36,151
You are feeling the pressure.

1016
00:33:36,181 --> 00:33:36,721
No.

1017
00:33:36,751 --> 00:33:37,091
Yeah.

1018
00:33:37,091 --> 00:33:37,101
I,

1019
00:33:37,251 --> 00:33:39,161
I'm just gonna put the
show out and let it be.

1020
00:33:40,131 --> 00:33:43,551
Let it do what it do, 'cause
I'm trying to get some work.

1021
00:33:43,671 --> 00:33:44,731
I'm feeling that pressure.

1022
00:33:45,171 --> 00:33:45,971
Yeah.

1023
00:33:46,051 --> 00:33:46,391
Yeah.

1024
00:33:46,921 --> 00:33:49,511
I mean, I'm sure the… I'm, you
s- I mean, okay, that was the

1025
00:33:49,511 --> 00:33:52,341
pressure of lifestyle, the pressure
of the economy on everybody.

1026
00:33:52,761 --> 00:33:53,601
That's the hard part, man.

1027
00:33:53,601 --> 00:33:53,761
That

1028
00:33:53,761 --> 00:33:54,651
is so hard.

1029
00:33:55,231 --> 00:33:56,091
I mean- That's the real hard part.

1030
00:33:56,221 --> 00:33:58,821
You know, that's, uh… I,
it's hard to feel sexy when

1031
00:33:58,821 --> 00:34:01,121
you're stressed, and it's hard-

1032
00:34:01,211 --> 00:34:02,481
Or s- maybe that's where

1033
00:34:02,481 --> 00:34:03,531
I'm- … not to be stressed

1034
00:34:03,561 --> 00:34:05,091
…
that's where I'm at, I think.

1035
00:34:05,291 --> 00:34:05,821
Stressed?

1036
00:34:05,911 --> 00:34:06,231
Yeah.

1037
00:34:06,261 --> 00:34:08,721
And I think I just can't,
I can't- Be sexual?

1038
00:34:08,721 --> 00:34:12,501
I know we have that big thing coming
up, and so I'm like, "Oh, fuck, man."

1039
00:34:12,501 --> 00:34:13,611
I'm like super stressed.

1040
00:34:13,621 --> 00:34:13,641
Yeah.

1041
00:34:13,831 --> 00:34:13,981
I

1042
00:34:13,981 --> 00:34:14,231
just

1043
00:34:14,231 --> 00:34:14,391
don't…

1044
00:34:14,581 --> 00:34:14,911
Yeah.

1045
00:34:14,931 --> 00:34:19,791
Well, you know, it's, it's been a
nice year off- Mm-hmm … from work-

1046
00:34:19,971 --> 00:34:20,511
Mm-hmm

1047
00:34:20,511 --> 00:34:22,681
…
after getting laid off last August.

1048
00:34:22,681 --> 00:34:22,891
Has it been

1049
00:34:22,891 --> 00:34:23,461
a nice year?

1050
00:34:24,321 --> 00:34:28,161
Uh, it was, about half the year was nice.

1051
00:34:28,171 --> 00:34:31,501
Mm. Uh, but I had it in the back
of my head like, "Man, I should

1052
00:34:31,501 --> 00:34:32,751
really be looking for a job.

1053
00:34:32,751 --> 00:34:35,861
I should really be looking for a
job." But the idea was that I do this

1054
00:34:35,861 --> 00:34:38,271
whole thing full time, the podcast.

1055
00:34:38,271 --> 00:34:38,831
Mm-hmm.

1056
00:34:38,831 --> 00:34:42,651
Um, we now know that
that is not sustainable.

1057
00:34:42,951 --> 00:34:43,291
Mm-hmm.

1058
00:34:43,311 --> 00:34:44,511
Like, it's just not possible.

1059
00:34:44,511 --> 00:34:48,271
And then, uh, with, with how
expensive groceries are and how

1060
00:34:48,271 --> 00:34:53,901
expensive gas is, like things,
things are costing even more, right?

1061
00:34:54,561 --> 00:34:58,751
Uh, so it's like, okay, I
need to, I need to go to work.

1062
00:34:58,811 --> 00:34:59,221
Mm-hmm.

1063
00:34:59,281 --> 00:35:00,031
I need to go to work.

1064
00:35:00,541 --> 00:35:04,991
Uh, but then we've got this, uh, thing
coming up, Naughty Nolans, which is cool.

1065
00:35:05,581 --> 00:35:08,581
Uh, but- There are bills
that need to be paid

1066
00:35:08,641 --> 00:35:09,151
Mm-hmm

1067
00:35:09,221 --> 00:35:12,751
And sitting back going, man,
we, we still, we still have to

1068
00:35:12,791 --> 00:35:14,241
pay for this thing you know?

1069
00:35:14,511 --> 00:35:14,698
We gotta do

1070
00:35:14,698 --> 00:35:14,791
some- yeah.

1071
00:35:14,801 --> 00:35:18,301
Um, there's, there's a, it's
a, that's pressure, man.

1072
00:35:18,301 --> 00:35:18,311
A

1073
00:35:18,311 --> 00:35:22,331
lot of pressure to keep up
with, um, the lifestyle.

1074
00:35:22,831 --> 00:35:24,481
You know, it's- But

1075
00:35:24,481 --> 00:35:27,241
it's the pressure that we
are okay with dealing with.

1076
00:35:27,531 --> 00:35:28,451
That's the funny part.

1077
00:35:29,231 --> 00:35:29,601
Yeah.

1078
00:35:29,601 --> 00:35:30,581
I don't mind it.

1079
00:35:30,581 --> 00:35:30,851
Like-

1080
00:35:31,021 --> 00:35:31,271
Yeah.

1081
00:35:31,271 --> 00:35:33,891
Mm-hmm … I enjoy going to
the occasional meet and greet-

1082
00:35:34,031 --> 00:35:34,201
Mm-hmm

1083
00:35:34,211 --> 00:35:36,541
…
or, um, you know, going to the club-

1084
00:35:36,601 --> 00:35:36,971
Mm-hmm

1085
00:35:37,361 --> 00:35:39,941
uh, meeting up with different
couples every now and then.

1086
00:35:39,951 --> 00:35:43,481
Like it's, it's nice that
we're still doing it.

1087
00:35:43,631 --> 00:35:47,211
We're, we're not just podcasting
about it, we're still doing it.

1088
00:35:47,211 --> 00:35:47,309
Yeah.

1089
00:35:47,309 --> 00:35:52,521
And I think that that's important because
the moment that you're not doing it,

1090
00:35:52,531 --> 00:35:53,831
then what are we even doing this for?

1091
00:35:53,841 --> 00:35:54,091
Mm-hmm.

1092
00:35:54,191 --> 00:35:56,121
Like, that, that's the end of that.

1093
00:35:56,151 --> 00:35:56,521
You know what I mean?

1094
00:35:56,521 --> 00:35:56,671
Yeah.

1095
00:35:56,681 --> 00:36:03,171
Like, um, so I think it's important
that we keep that part of us going

1096
00:36:03,631 --> 00:36:07,871
and we just kind of let everything
else kind of fall in place.

1097
00:36:08,211 --> 00:36:08,591
Yeah.

1098
00:36:09,381 --> 00:36:10,031
I enjoy it.

1099
00:36:10,031 --> 00:36:10,671
Um-

1100
00:36:10,671 --> 00:36:11,481
I do too

1101
00:36:11,811 --> 00:36:15,401
…
I enjoy meeting all the new people,
especially whenever we go to the club

1102
00:36:15,411 --> 00:36:18,691
and we get- Yeah … introduced to new
people, or, uh, people will come up to

1103
00:36:18,691 --> 00:36:20,561
us that we haven't met who are listeners.

1104
00:36:20,641 --> 00:36:20,981
Yeah.

1105
00:36:21,031 --> 00:36:25,741
Um, I, I like going to events like Naughty
Nollons that we have coming up and, and

1106
00:36:25,751 --> 00:36:30,731
having the opportunity to, to meet with
so many people, especially educators.

1107
00:36:30,731 --> 00:36:34,621
I, I, I think we're gonna have
some real interesting guests that

1108
00:36:34,621 --> 00:36:38,421
come off of who we meet out there-
Right … which is gonna be a lot of fun.

1109
00:36:39,041 --> 00:36:46,701
Um, but there's just- so many ways
that this is so fulfilling to me.

1110
00:36:46,711 --> 00:36:46,741
Mm-hmm.

1111
00:36:47,331 --> 00:36:47,691
Mm-hmm.

1112
00:36:47,701 --> 00:36:47,721
Um,

1113
00:36:48,341 --> 00:36:51,681
that I'm going back to work full time.

1114
00:36:51,731 --> 00:36:52,081
Mm-hmm.

1115
00:36:52,121 --> 00:36:54,301
And I'm gonna keep up with this show.

1116
00:36:54,321 --> 00:36:57,331
I don't know how the hell I'm
gonna do it, but I'm gonna do it.

1117
00:36:58,091 --> 00:37:02,181
Um, and we're gonna, we're gonna
keep riding this gravy train until,

1118
00:37:02,181 --> 00:37:04,451
uh, until mama say we don't have to.

1119
00:37:05,431 --> 00:37:07,571
Uh, but we'll see how that goes.

1120
00:37:08,211 --> 00:37:08,631
Uh, so- But then

1121
00:37:08,801 --> 00:37:09,921
I get to take a year off.

1122
00:37:10,091 --> 00:37:11,541
Yeah, I don't think so.

1123
00:37:12,151 --> 00:37:13,081
I don't think so.

1124
00:37:13,081 --> 00:37:14,341
We're gonna be working till we die.

1125
00:37:14,351 --> 00:37:15,091
It's my turn.

1126
00:37:15,351 --> 00:37:16,521
We're gonna work till we die.

1127
00:37:16,641 --> 00:37:18,411
I'm, I'm not working till I die.

1128
00:37:18,431 --> 00:37:20,301
Oh, baby, you're gonna work till you die.

1129
00:37:20,301 --> 00:37:20,586
No.

1130
00:37:20,586 --> 00:37:21,711
Are you gonna die young?

1131
00:37:22,141 --> 00:37:24,821
I am going to stop
working at the age of 50.

1132
00:37:25,321 --> 00:37:26,221
Yeah.

1133
00:37:26,371 --> 00:37:26,481
Mm-hmm.

1134
00:37:26,981 --> 00:37:28,451
Well, that's something to work up to.

1135
00:37:28,481 --> 00:37:28,731
Mm-hmm.

1136
00:37:28,731 --> 00:37:28,781
Okay?

1137
00:37:29,051 --> 00:37:30,851
I'm gonna stop working at the age of 50.

1138
00:37:30,851 --> 00:37:30,944
That's

1139
00:37:30,944 --> 00:37:31,129
a goal.

1140
00:37:31,129 --> 00:37:31,221
You

1141
00:37:31,221 --> 00:37:32,901
have two more years of
my income, and that's it.

1142
00:37:33,761 --> 00:37:35,381
Nah, you ain't putting
that pressure on me, girl.

1143
00:37:36,071 --> 00:37:38,731
You have- Uh-uh … two more years
of my income- No … and that's it.

1144
00:37:38,781 --> 00:37:39,421
No, ma'am.

1145
00:37:39,431 --> 00:37:41,551
First off, don't ever word it that way.

1146
00:37:41,551 --> 00:37:43,901
That's- And no, that, that is
instant pressure right there.

1147
00:37:43,901 --> 00:37:43,931
Okay.

1148
00:37:43,931 --> 00:37:44,751
I don't think so.

1149
00:37:45,091 --> 00:37:47,741
You better get used to
that, that working itch.

1150
00:37:47,771 --> 00:37:50,931
Besides, you couldn't even handle
being locked down on COVID.

1151
00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:52,641
You were like- Yeah, I
could … "I gotta go to work.

1152
00:37:52,661 --> 00:37:52,991
I gotta go to

1153
00:37:53,101 --> 00:37:53,961
work." Because the kids were little.

1154
00:37:53,961 --> 00:37:56,581
Now they're big, and now I have
other things that I can do.

1155
00:37:56,761 --> 00:37:56,981
Oh.

1156
00:37:57,131 --> 00:37:57,661
Yeah.

1157
00:37:57,851 --> 00:37:58,751
I could take a year off.

1158
00:37:59,021 --> 00:38:00,181
You w- you couldn't handle it.

1159
00:38:00,511 --> 00:38:01,251
I could now.

1160
00:38:01,371 --> 00:38:02,171
You couldn't handle it.

1161
00:38:02,891 --> 00:38:03,541
There's no way.

1162
00:38:03,911 --> 00:38:05,681
You could not handle- … being home.

1163
00:38:06,021 --> 00:38:06,321
We'll see.

1164
00:38:07,141 --> 00:38:07,251
You

1165
00:38:07,251 --> 00:38:07,901
can't do it.

1166
00:38:08,501 --> 00:38:09,761
You're not that personality.

1167
00:38:09,771 --> 00:38:11,421
It takes a certain personality to be home.

1168
00:38:11,471 --> 00:38:11,961
Yeah, it-

1169
00:38:12,011 --> 00:38:12,191
Yeah.

1170
00:38:12,961 --> 00:38:14,071
Certain type of personality.

1171
00:38:15,041 --> 00:38:16,541
You are not that personality.

1172
00:38:16,541 --> 00:38:17,051
I am

1173
00:38:17,111 --> 00:38:17,501
now.

1174
00:38:17,501 --> 00:38:17,751
That is not you.

1175
00:38:17,781 --> 00:38:18,121
No.

1176
00:38:18,121 --> 00:38:18,261
Yeah.

1177
00:38:18,261 --> 00:38:19,791
You can't just flip it like a switch.

1178
00:38:19,801 --> 00:38:20,191
I can.

1179
00:38:20,441 --> 00:38:21,581
My kids are big.

1180
00:38:21,591 --> 00:38:21,791
That is not you.

1181
00:38:21,791 --> 00:38:23,121
I, it's, they're fun now.

1182
00:38:23,121 --> 00:38:23,671
I got two.

1183
00:38:24,081 --> 00:38:27,721
I got one in college, one out
of the s- two out of the state.

1184
00:38:27,771 --> 00:38:31,221
I have two more halfway
through high school.

1185
00:38:31,811 --> 00:38:33,301
Hell yes.

1186
00:38:33,801 --> 00:38:34,641
Nah, you couldn't handle it.

1187
00:38:34,651 --> 00:38:35,631
Hell yes.

1188
00:38:35,701 --> 00:38:36,231
You couldn't do it.

1189
00:38:36,281 --> 00:38:37,161
I'm so ready.

1190
00:38:37,181 --> 00:38:41,691
I'm so ready for that time
where I can just kind of relax-

1191
00:38:41,701 --> 00:38:42,491
First off

1192
00:38:42,501 --> 00:38:43,491
and find myself.

1193
00:38:43,701 --> 00:38:47,981
First off, if you're not gonna be
working, you're still gonna be working.

1194
00:38:47,991 --> 00:38:49,161
You'll be working the show.

1195
00:38:49,161 --> 00:38:50,116
You'll be working- Yeah

1196
00:38:50,116 --> 00:38:50,221
…
this.

1197
00:38:50,221 --> 00:38:50,301
Be

1198
00:38:50,301 --> 00:38:50,981
doing something fun.

1199
00:38:50,981 --> 00:38:53,591
You'll be doing your own, your…
So it's not like you're just gonna

1200
00:38:53,591 --> 00:38:54,991
be sitting at home doing nothing.

1201
00:38:55,011 --> 00:38:55,901
You're gonna be working.

1202
00:38:56,511 --> 00:38:57,071
Doing something fun.

1203
00:38:57,421 --> 00:38:57,791
Yeah.

1204
00:38:58,151 --> 00:38:59,811
You're just not gonna
be working for somebody.

1205
00:39:00,091 --> 00:39:01,951
Mm-hmm.

1206
00:39:01,951 --> 00:39:03,161
Well, that's a better deal.

1207
00:39:03,661 --> 00:39:05,171
Are you just making my deal?

1208
00:39:05,671 --> 00:39:10,111
Are you just creating what… Are you,
like, creating, like, what I just want?

1209
00:39:10,161 --> 00:39:11,351
Are you creating what I want?

1210
00:39:11,621 --> 00:39:12,741
What you think I want?

1211
00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:20,091
No, I, I'm, I'm letting you know
that when you're done at 50, you're

1212
00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:23,931
going to be working the podcast
and everything that we do here.

1213
00:39:23,931 --> 00:39:25,831
You can't tell me what to do.

1214
00:39:25,881 --> 00:39:27,891
Hey, yes, the hell I can.

1215
00:39:27,931 --> 00:39:28,821
You cannot tell me

1216
00:39:28,891 --> 00:39:29,101
what to do.

1217
00:39:29,101 --> 00:39:30,111
Absolutely, I can.

1218
00:39:30,781 --> 00:39:30,841
No.

1219
00:39:30,891 --> 00:39:31,281
Yeah.

1220
00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:32,581
Now show your tits to everybody.

1221
00:39:33,081 --> 00:39:33,701
That's a good-

1222
00:39:33,921 --> 00:39:34,101
Ah.

1223
00:39:34,121 --> 00:39:35,511
That's an Adam save right there.

1224
00:39:35,521 --> 00:39:36,111
Damn right.

1225
00:39:36,151 --> 00:39:38,041
That is an Adam save.

1226
00:39:38,061 --> 00:39:38,841
That's what's up.

1227
00:39:39,141 --> 00:39:39,651
See that?

1228
00:39:39,701 --> 00:39:42,311
Now I'm gonna have to end the show
because she's getting wild and unruly.

1229
00:39:42,311 --> 00:39:44,041
She needs some food in her stomach.

1230
00:39:44,721 --> 00:39:47,331
So anyways… Man, I love you so much.

1231
00:39:47,331 --> 00:39:47,406
I can feel that.

1232
00:39:47,406 --> 00:39:48,481
I can feel the look coming from you.

1233
00:39:48,841 --> 00:39:51,801
Anyways, guys, thank you so
much for listening to us on

1234
00:39:51,821 --> 00:39:53,351
another Wednesday quickie.

1235
00:39:53,691 --> 00:39:55,241
Uh, you know the drill.

1236
00:39:55,691 --> 00:39:59,281
Uh, if you can, if you have
time, leave us a review, go to

1237
00:39:59,281 --> 00:40:01,121
Spotify, go to Apple Podcast.

1238
00:40:01,441 --> 00:40:05,361
Wherever you listen to us, hit that
five stars because you know you love us.

1239
00:40:05,431 --> 00:40:06,031
Yes.

1240
00:40:06,081 --> 00:40:08,621
And help us become a part
of the algorithm, you know?

1241
00:40:08,621 --> 00:40:10,201
We're really trying to
push ourselves out there.

1242
00:40:10,251 --> 00:40:13,001
People, all it takes
is for you to share it.

1243
00:40:13,051 --> 00:40:13,231
Yeah.

1244
00:40:13,281 --> 00:40:15,361
Leave a review, like, do this.

1245
00:40:15,391 --> 00:40:16,181
We got no shame.

1246
00:40:16,561 --> 00:40:17,361
Push that shit, guys.

1247
00:40:17,361 --> 00:40:17,721
Mama doesn't wanna

1248
00:40:17,731 --> 00:40:18,151
work.

1249
00:40:18,211 --> 00:40:18,961
Yeah, man.

1250
00:40:18,961 --> 00:40:20,861
You know, I only got
two years of her income.

1251
00:40:20,961 --> 00:40:21,161
That's

1252
00:40:21,161 --> 00:40:21,601
right.

1253
00:40:21,711 --> 00:40:24,941
So, uh, you know, hook us
up here and, and, and shoot,

1254
00:40:25,121 --> 00:40:26,511
shoot that five-star review.

1255
00:40:26,651 --> 00:40:26,931
Yes.

1256
00:40:27,011 --> 00:40:32,891
Um, also don't forget, if you're
interested in finding more of us, come

1257
00:40:32,891 --> 00:40:38,541
out to www.beyond-monogamy.com- Mm-hmm
… where you can find all of our episodes,

1258
00:40:38,541 --> 00:40:40,821
all of our clips, our blogs, our merch.

1259
00:40:41,281 --> 00:40:43,251
That's right, we have merch.

1260
00:40:43,451 --> 00:40:43,621
Yes.

1261
00:40:43,631 --> 00:40:44,441
Beautiful merch.

1262
00:40:44,451 --> 00:40:44,651
Yes.

1263
00:40:44,991 --> 00:40:50,271
And our 100% beyond monogamy
confessional, 100% anonymous.

1264
00:40:50,511 --> 00:40:51,121
Yeah.

1265
00:40:51,121 --> 00:40:51,651
Anonymous.

1266
00:40:51,871 --> 00:40:56,141
Where you can leave your confession,
your question, your statement, whatever

1267
00:40:56,141 --> 00:40:59,791
you wanna talk about, you put that
shit in there, and we'll read it,

1268
00:41:00,061 --> 00:41:01,571
and we'll talk about it on the air.

1269
00:41:02,021 --> 00:41:03,631
Uh, you… We'll answer your questions.

1270
00:41:03,631 --> 00:41:07,141
Anything you wanna know, anything you
wanna say, we'll have it out there.

1271
00:41:07,141 --> 00:41:07,661
We're there.

1272
00:41:07,701 --> 00:41:08,281
That's right.

1273
00:41:08,551 --> 00:41:12,601
Also, uh, don't forget, you can scope
us out every Thursday at 2:00 PM and

1274
00:41:12,601 --> 00:41:17,321
7:00 PM Central on fullswapradio.com.

1275
00:41:17,921 --> 00:41:21,041
Uh, also, we're not the only
adult podcasters out there,

1276
00:41:21,041 --> 00:41:22,481
so check out the other ones.

1277
00:41:22,481 --> 00:41:22,801
Yes.

1278
00:41:23,011 --> 00:41:24,021
They're also awesome.

1279
00:41:24,531 --> 00:41:25,181
There's a lot.

1280
00:41:25,481 --> 00:41:27,761
Um, we are going to be, like
I mentioned earlier, we're

1281
00:41:27,761 --> 00:41:29,081
gonna be at Naughty Nollans.

1282
00:41:29,121 --> 00:41:36,591
They do still have day passes, guys, for,
I believe it is called, um, the Nopsy.

1283
00:41:37,261 --> 00:41:39,857
And- We have a little link

1284
00:41:40,477 --> 00:41:42,207
We have a link So- So you'll be
able to- We have a link … find

1285
00:41:42,207 --> 00:41:43,247
that in the show notes.

1286
00:41:43,257 --> 00:41:43,637
Yeah.

1287
00:41:43,767 --> 00:41:48,377
Uh, so if you're curious about that,
go to the show notes, click the link.

1288
00:41:48,417 --> 00:41:48,447
Yes.

1289
00:41:48,817 --> 00:41:49,467
You'll have everything you need.

1290
00:41:49,467 --> 00:41:49,717
What is it,

1291
00:41:49,857 --> 00:41:51,267
July 8th through the 13th?

1292
00:41:51,547 --> 00:41:52,177
Yes, ma'am.

1293
00:41:52,187 --> 00:41:53,377
July 8th through the 13th.

1294
00:41:53,427 --> 00:41:54,447
Come party with us.

1295
00:41:54,857 --> 00:41:56,517
Come see the pressure.

1296
00:41:57,017 --> 00:41:57,307
Yeah.

1297
00:41:57,307 --> 00:41:59,657
We're actually gonna have an exhibitor
booth out there- Mm-hmm … and we will

1298
00:41:59,657 --> 00:42:03,127
be, uh, shaking hands and kissing babies.

1299
00:42:03,197 --> 00:42:03,467
No.

1300
00:42:03,537 --> 00:42:03,767
No.

1301
00:42:03,897 --> 00:42:04,247
Mm-mm.

1302
00:42:04,297 --> 00:42:04,477
No, no,

1303
00:42:05,107 --> 00:42:05,127
no.

1304
00:42:05,157 --> 00:42:05,447
Kissing boobies.

1305
00:42:05,447 --> 00:42:05,857
Kissing boobies.

1306
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:06,487
There we go.

1307
00:42:06,487 --> 00:42:06,604
There

1308
00:42:06,604 --> 00:42:06,837
you go.

1309
00:42:06,837 --> 00:42:10,177
Uh, yeah, so if you can, you
should be a part of that.

1310
00:42:10,207 --> 00:42:10,827
Yeah.

1311
00:42:10,837 --> 00:42:11,657
Definitely be a part of that.

1312
00:42:11,667 --> 00:42:11,697
Yes.

1313
00:42:11,707 --> 00:42:14,617
And if you already got plans
to be out there, scope us out.

1314
00:42:14,667 --> 00:42:14,897
Yes.

1315
00:42:14,897 --> 00:42:15,357
We will be out there.

1316
00:42:15,357 --> 00:42:16,767
We'd love to see you.

1317
00:42:17,347 --> 00:42:20,787
Anyhow, with that, thank you so much
for listening to us for another week,

1318
00:42:21,247 --> 00:42:23,317
and we will see you guys next week.

1319
00:42:23,427 --> 00:42:24,457
Bye.