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Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris
Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris
Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris is a real, raw, and unfiltered look at life in the swinger and ethically non-monogamous world. With over 14 years in the lifestyle and 5 years exploring polyamory, married hosts Adam & Pris share spicy stories, honest insights, and no-BS conversations twice a week. Whether you're curious or experienced, this show delivers laughs, lessons, and a whole lot of truth. Welcome to Beyond Monogamy. Let’s go there.
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Sept. 20, 2026

Seattle Makes Polyamory a Protected Class: ENM Under the Law

Key Takeaways

  • Seattle made history by unanimously voting to add polyamory, pansexuality, and asexuality to its legal definition of sexual orientation, offering critical anti-discrimination protections.
  • Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) encompasses various relationship dynamics, including polyamory and swinging, yet practitioners often face professional and legal vulnerabilities.
  • Data indicates that a significant percentage of non-monogamous individuals experience prejudice, leading many to keep their relationships secret at work to protect their livelihoods.
  • While polyamory is often viewed as a relationship structure or orientation, swinging functions as a lifestyle choice, sparking ongoing debates about how legal protections apply across the entire ENM umbrella.
  • Other progressive cities like Olympia, Portland, Oakland, and West Hollywood have passed similar measures, signaling a growing nationwide trend toward recognizing non-traditional relationships under the law.

Seattle just made history — and Adam & Pris are unpacking it. This past week, the Seattle City Council voted unanimously to extend anti-discrimination protections to people in polyamorous relationships, adding polyamory, pansexuality, and asexuality to the city's legal definition of sexual orientation. So on this episode of Beyond Monogamy, Adam and Pris dig into what this means for the whole ethical non-monogamy (ENM) umbrella — polyamory, swinging, kink, and everything in between.

In this episode:

  • The Seattle City Council's new law protecting polyamorous people from discrimination
  • Is swinging covered under "consensual non-monogamy" too? Adam and Pris debate it
  • Orientation vs. choice: are you born non-monogamous, or is it a decision?
  • Real data — a 2025 survey found 61% of non-monogamous people report facing prejudice or discrimination
  • Why so many in the swinger lifestyle and polyamorous communities stay closeted at work
  • A candid, no-filter conversation between Adam and Pris about their own relationship dynamic

Whether you're poly, swinging, or somewhere in the beautiful gray area of ethical non-monogamy, this one's for you.

Catch us live every Thursday at 7PM Central for our FREE livestream, plus new episodes, blogs, and events at beyond-monogamy.com. You can also catch us on FullSwapRadio every Thursday at 2PM and 7PM Central.

Upcoming events:

  • Swinger 101 Workshop — Austin, TX at Forbidden Fruit, November 15th
  • Krazy Winter Nights — Kansas City, February 19th–21st. Use code BEYOMONO at krazykasbh.com

This episode is brought to you by:

  • The Pleasure Chest — sex toys, lingerie, and kink gear with an education-first approach. Locations in NY, Chicago, and LA, or shop online at thepleasurechest.com.
  • 3Fun — meet like-minded people in the lifestyle. Use code TK11932.
  • SDC — Austin-area swingers and ENM couples, use discount code 38236.

Got a question or confession? Send it through our 100% anonymous confessional at beyond-monogamy.com. Like, subscribe, and leave us a review — it helps more than you know!

Frequently Asked Questions

Did Seattle make polyamory a protected class?

Yes, the Seattle City Council voted unanimously to extend anti-discrimination protections to people in polyamorous relationships by adding polyamory, pansexuality, and asexuality to the city's legal definition of sexual orientation.

What is the difference between polyamory and swinging?

Polyamory is typically viewed as a relationship orientation or status involving multiple romantic connections, whereas swinging is generally practiced as a shared lifestyle choice among couples who play with others.

Are swingers protected under the new Seattle ordinance?

While the law explicitly covers consensual non-monogamous relationships and polyamory, hosts Adam & Pris debate whether swinging is definitively included without explicit wording in the legal text.

What other cities have passed anti-discrimination protections for polyamory?

In addition to Seattle, cities like Olympia, Portland, Oakland, and West Hollywood have passed similar measures to protect non-monogamous individuals from discrimination.

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All right, y'all.

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Before we dive in, a quick
heads-up This show is raw, real,

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and definitely not rated PG.

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We're talking about adult themes,
sexual content, and the kinda stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kids.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice, and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear,
we are not licensed therapists,

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counselors, or sex couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches.

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Not sex couches.

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We're just a couple of people sharing
our lives, experiences, and sexy

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adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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Hello and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today we are talking about
something very, very different,

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something that just made history.

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This past Tuesday, the Seattle
City Council voted unanimously to

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extend discrimination protections to
people in polyamorous relationships.

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Ooh.

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Yeah, that's right.

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Unanimously.

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No fight, no filibuster.

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So today we're asking the big question,
should polyamory be a protected class?

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Is it who you are or who you love?

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And what does it mean for all of us living
this lifestyle out here in the real world?

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Because it- obviously they
wouldn't just be talking polyamory.

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They would be talking about ethical
non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy.

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And frankly, guys, swinging
is in that umbrella.

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Before we dive in, if you're enjoying
the show, do us a huge favor.

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Hit that button, you know, the subscribe
button, so you never miss an episode,

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and share this with a friend who's
curious or even one who's judgy.

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Ooh.

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Sharing is how we grow, so grab
your cafecito and let's get into it.

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Yeah, that's right.

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So I felt like this was a
relevant topic to talk about.

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We have a lot of listeners
who are polyamorous.

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Yeah.

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We have a lot of listeners
who are swingers.

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We have a lot of listeners
who are in the kink community.

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We have a lot of listeners who
are just ethically, consensually

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non-monogamous, period.

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Yeah.

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And, uh, I felt like this- So- … was
a big, big thing that passed

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through the news I have… Yeah.

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I have a lot of, I have a
lot of questions, or maybe

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I just have one question.

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Hit it

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So you said polyamory.

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Yeah.

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Now, there's a lot of
polyamorous relationships, and

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some of them are, what is it?

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The, the, the three people, the throuples.

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Sometimes they're throuples and- There's
throuples, yeah … and stuff like that.

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Yeah, yeah.

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What exactly are they…
What's the big deal?

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What's, what's, what exactly is
the whole, like, okay, so you're

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polyamory, it's just a relationship.

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What's the big deal?

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Like, what, what- What's the big deal?

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What is it?

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You know, that's, that, that is a really,
really good question, 'cause a lot of

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people from the outside are asking this.

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Okay.

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But let me tell you what the big deal is.

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Okay.

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Now, I don't, I don't
know if you remember this.

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This, it has been quite a while.

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It's been over a year, but we
had, we had a guest on the show

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once by the name of Jonathan Lane.

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He was an ethical non-monogamy-
Yes … uh, he was a lawyer.

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A lawyer.

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But he was also ethically
non-monogamous- Yeah … in the

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kink world, et cetera, et cetera.

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And one of the questions that I had
asked him was, uh, you know, are…

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You know, how, how can people who are
afraid, they, they stay discreet, they're

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afraid to come out, they're afraid to
be open with their relationships or how

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they live their life on account of how
they will be treated if it gets found

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out by their work, their bosses, if
they go to, if, if they go to- Oh, okay

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to custody battle at
courts, things like that.

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There's a lot of people who keep
their relationships secret, who keep

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everything that they do outside of
their work life very, very secret- Okay.

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I mean- … on account of that.

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I understand that Um, so what happens when
you're at work and somebody in a higher

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position decides they don't like you?

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Maybe they don't like
the color of your skin.

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Maybe they don't care for
the fact that you're a woman.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, you know, it, it doesn't really
matter in those situations because

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those are protected classes.

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Correct.

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So if they discriminate you on that,
well, you can take them to court.

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Yes.

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'Cause that is very illegal.

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Yes.

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But one thing that we realized was
ethical non-monogamy and the people

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who live it are not a protected class.

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Okay.

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And you can be judged at
work if it gets found out.

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There have been a lot of people in our
community- Yes … who have been outed

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and have lost their jobs because of this.

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Mm-hmm.

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Uh, so th- this to me is a very big deal,
that we're finally starting to recognize

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ethical non-monogamy as a protected class.

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I mean, it is.

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It is, it is a big deal.

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I was just curious 'cause I was
like, well, I mean, does it matter

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what relationship you're in and
what kind of lifestyle you lead?

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You know, realistically, it shouldn't.

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It shouldn't.

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In a perfect world.

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It's… A lot of people
like to keep it secret.

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Yeah.

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And, and that's fine, but like for
me, I don't, I don't keep it secret.

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Now, I don't talk about it to a lot
of, to certain people just because

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I don't wanna have that argument of,
"It's none of your business." Yeah.

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Just it, it is what it
is, and stay in your lane.

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But I can imagine the people like
that live in just the LGBTQ community-

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Yeah … and, and have these type of
relationships, um, and maybe aren't

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like to fight the fight, I guess.

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Yeah.

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So to have it, I mean, that's
kind of, that's kind of big.

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That, that's big news.

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And you know what's funny is with the
world today and every breaking news that

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happens- Right … every couple of hours,
this obviously wasn't really in mainstream

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media's eyes- Yeah … that much.

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I think you shared it with me.

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Yeah.

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And that was it.

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It, it's kind of a big deal though.

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Yeah.

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So just a few details.

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The legislation sponsored by council
member Alexis Mercedes Rinck expands

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Seattle's legal definition of sexual
orientation beyond heterosexual Beyond

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bisexual and homosexual to include
polyamory, pansexuality, and asexuality.

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Wow.

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Those are protected classes.

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It also adds a clause specifically about
consensual non-monogamous relationships.

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Now, like I said, does
that include swingers?

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I mean.

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Now, the article didn't say.

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I, I would think so because non-monogamous
relationships, it's, it's a big umbrella.

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Maybe they didn't specifically
say that because I think…

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So I think polyamory, and I mean, and you
can correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel

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like polyamory is a relationship status.

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Yeah.

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As opposed to swinger
is a lifestyle status.

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Yeah.

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Like, we swing.

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We're swingers, but that's
not our relationship status.

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We are a married couple
who plays with others.

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Well, I don't know.

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I mean- I don't know.

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I mean, it could, it… Because
there's a lot of gray area.

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Well, that's what I'm saying.

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Like, it, I guess- That's
the hard part about it.

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There's a lot of gray area.

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I guess, I guess it depends.

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Because we're an open relationship.

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Yeah.

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So we're married, and our relationship
is our primary relationship, but we also

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hold a lot of other relationships with
others and- But they're just friends

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just as friends, but at one point-
That's what I'm saying … one

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of them wasn't a friend.

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But that's what I'm saying.

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You know, like.

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Like, they were friends,
so that's a different kind.

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I think that's a different category.

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Yeah, but we're not, we're not
s- we're, we're not holding

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our feet to the fire on that.

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Like, if something happens
and you decide you wanna date

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somebody, you have that ability.

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Yeah.

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So to just say, well, they're just
friends, that's not really accurate

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because we're, we're going with the flow.

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So you're saying that a swinger
is not, it's not… A s- being

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a swinger is not a lifestyle.

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I think.

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It's, it's more.

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I honestly think that being- It's
more a relationship … ethically

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non-monogamous is a lifestyle.

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I, I mean, yeah.

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Because think about- But there's
so many categories under there.

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Yeah, yeah.

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But what I'm saying is, you
know, we refer to being a

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swinger as the lifestyle, right?

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Because that's just what we all do.

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Right.

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But what I'm, what I'm saying is,
is that I feel like all of ethical

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non-monogamy- is a lifestyle.

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Like, it is- Well, that's what I'm saying.

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It's a lifestyle It's a whole lifestyle
in, in that- But it's not a relationship

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… it's, it's, so with poly you can have many
relationships, but that is your lifestyle,

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just like monogamy is their lifestyle.

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Okay.

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You know what I'm saying?

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Yeah, yeah.

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So polyamory, you can be polyamorous
and not be in a relationship.

201
00:08:07,578 --> 00:08:08,708
Does that mean you're not polyamorous?

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00:08:08,948 --> 00:08:10,198
I mean- You know what I'm saying?

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Yes.

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Like, there's people who are-
That's exactly what it means.

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I think that if you're polyamorous
and you have a relat- No, I'm not-

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No, if you're not in a relationship
If you're not in a relationship,

207
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,218
you can still call yourself poly.

208
00:08:20,328 --> 00:08:21,128
That's what I'm saying.

209
00:08:21,298 --> 00:08:22,518
But that's what- That's a lifestyle.

210
00:08:22,648 --> 00:08:23,508
That's… No.

211
00:08:23,508 --> 00:08:25,358
I see, I see it as a relationship.

212
00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:27,538
It's not a relationship- It's like,
it's like- … if you're not in a

213
00:08:27,538 --> 00:08:31,358
relationship … it's like we're
married, we're a married couple, right?

214
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:36,878
So we're married in our relationship,
but we're swingers as our lifestyle.

215
00:08:37,068 --> 00:08:41,008
Kind of saying, like, I'm a surfer,
but- But see, that's very black and

216
00:08:41,008 --> 00:08:43,378
white, man … I, it's only when I'm,
but it's only when I'm acting on it.

217
00:08:43,418 --> 00:08:44,368
It's not, it's not that black and white.

218
00:08:44,368 --> 00:08:45,258
No, I understand what you mean.

219
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,748
So, I mean, you're- I get that
… you're, uh, you're, you're putting

220
00:08:47,748 --> 00:08:49,748
it i- in very black and white terms.

221
00:08:49,748 --> 00:08:52,658
Like, this is a box, and we're
gonna put everything in this box.

222
00:08:52,668 --> 00:08:53,038
Yeah.

223
00:08:53,208 --> 00:08:54,838
This is very fluid.

224
00:08:54,908 --> 00:08:57,028
This is, this has got a lot of gray areas.

225
00:08:57,028 --> 00:09:00,308
This is… If we're talking
about ourselves in particular.

226
00:09:00,408 --> 00:09:00,828
Yeah.

227
00:09:01,038 --> 00:09:04,638
There is… You know, we're not
labeling ourselves as polyamorous.

228
00:09:04,898 --> 00:09:07,908
We are swingers first and
foremost, but we have also talked

229
00:09:07,908 --> 00:09:09,328
very openly on the show- Yeah

230
00:09:09,328 --> 00:09:12,848
that we would pursue other
things if we had opportunities

231
00:09:12,848 --> 00:09:14,058
and the o- and it was organic.

232
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:14,348
Right.

233
00:09:14,578 --> 00:09:18,658
Now, in that situation, we
would go from swingers to

234
00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:19,788
something completely different.

235
00:09:19,788 --> 00:09:20,518
To poly.

236
00:09:20,698 --> 00:09:21,108
Right.

237
00:09:21,338 --> 00:09:21,845
That's what I'm saying.

238
00:09:21,845 --> 00:09:23,088
But we would still be swingers.

239
00:09:23,148 --> 00:09:23,648
Yeah.

240
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:24,778
Well, yeah.

241
00:09:25,108 --> 00:09:27,008
But see, that's- But you see how
there's two different- But yeah

242
00:09:27,008 --> 00:09:29,528
two different things … but you
don't become poly when you go into

243
00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:30,998
a relationship with somebody else.

244
00:09:31,268 --> 00:09:32,378
Poly is a state of mind.

245
00:09:32,728 --> 00:09:35,108
Polyamory is how you lead your life.

246
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:35,761
See, I don't think so.

247
00:09:35,761 --> 00:09:37,416
You don't have to be in a
relationship to be poly.

248
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:40,758
I don't… I mean, why would they make
it a big deal if it was, it… Of course.

249
00:09:40,758 --> 00:09:42,478
It's, it's how you live your life.

250
00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:45,868
So- It's how you live your life
… it's like I'm a bisexual, right?

251
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,858
But that's, that's my title.

252
00:09:47,868 --> 00:09:48,748
That's what I go by.

253
00:09:48,748 --> 00:09:49,988
I'm a bisexual woman.

254
00:09:49,988 --> 00:09:50,228
Yeah.

255
00:09:50,478 --> 00:09:50,818
Okay?

256
00:09:50,988 --> 00:09:53,688
And I want you to notice
that I'm a bisexual woman.

257
00:09:53,728 --> 00:09:53,908
Yeah.

258
00:09:54,238 --> 00:09:57,138
But I'm also a swinger,
and I'm also married.

259
00:09:57,198 --> 00:09:57,408
Mm-hmm.

260
00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:00,008
So those are all different things.

261
00:10:00,218 --> 00:10:00,458
Labels.

262
00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:01,788
I swing as a lifestyle.

263
00:10:01,828 --> 00:10:02,118
Yeah.

264
00:10:02,178 --> 00:10:04,278
Bisexuality is my label.

265
00:10:04,288 --> 00:10:04,318
Mm-hmm.

266
00:10:04,728 --> 00:10:06,128
And I'm married is my label.

267
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,668
But those are all labels that you
have now put yourself into a box.

268
00:10:09,878 --> 00:10:13,218
You identify as these specific-
Well, yeah … And if you decide

269
00:10:13,228 --> 00:10:15,532
to change that- Where's the box?

270
00:10:15,602 --> 00:10:16,372
No more box.

271
00:10:16,412 --> 00:10:17,242
No more box.

272
00:10:17,252 --> 00:10:17,992
That's my point.

273
00:10:18,262 --> 00:10:19,732
That's ethical non-monogamy.

274
00:10:19,872 --> 00:10:23,322
Ethical non-monogamy, you
can fit yourself in that box.

275
00:10:23,352 --> 00:10:23,462
Yeah.

276
00:10:23,462 --> 00:10:24,922
But there's so many places to go.

277
00:10:24,962 --> 00:10:30,162
But your question was, is swinger going,
is swinger under the category of, of this?

278
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,592
Like, are they gonna bring swinging?

279
00:10:31,592 --> 00:10:31,602
Right.

280
00:10:31,602 --> 00:10:35,632
Is, is swinging, would, would
swinging be considered a part of this?

281
00:10:35,652 --> 00:10:38,482
And I don't think- Now that because
they're calling it ethical non-monogamy.

282
00:10:38,482 --> 00:10:40,502
So you're saying swinging is
not ethically non-monogamous?

283
00:10:40,502 --> 00:10:44,892
I think… No, I said, I, I think, like,
ethical non-monogamy is one category that

284
00:10:44,902 --> 00:10:48,712
has 1,000- Yeah … little labels inside.

285
00:10:48,722 --> 00:10:48,942
Right.

286
00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:51,932
So I wouldn't specifically ask
are they gonna bring, are they,

287
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:52,992
swingers gonna be in there?

288
00:10:53,022 --> 00:10:55,502
Well, ethical non-monogamy-
Well, so I agree

289
00:10:55,502 --> 00:10:55,812
right?

290
00:10:55,852 --> 00:10:57,762
It's, it's- I, I agree to an extent.

291
00:10:57,772 --> 00:11:02,442
But if they don't disclose that
it includes swingers- Oh … then

292
00:11:02,902 --> 00:11:07,252
in a court of law, if you do
not have the written terms.

293
00:11:07,262 --> 00:11:10,352
So you're saying in the, in
that, you're saying in that

294
00:11:10,352 --> 00:11:12,862
category they should add swingers?

295
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:17,132
I believe, I, I personally believe that
it should be included because- And you

296
00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:18,912
don't think it's just already given?

297
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:19,682
Like, it's given.

298
00:11:19,682 --> 00:11:21,052
It's ethical- It's a,
it's an assumed thing?

299
00:11:21,062 --> 00:11:21,942
It's an assumed thing.

300
00:11:21,952 --> 00:11:27,012
So in, when it comes to the rule of law,
and it comes to- Do not fucking assume.

301
00:11:27,342 --> 00:11:31,102
I mean, how many times has
assuming worked in the rule of law?

302
00:11:31,112 --> 00:11:31,602
Never.

303
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:36,452
If the words are not written on the
page- Yeah … then it is subject

304
00:11:36,472 --> 00:11:38,812
to interpretation by a judge.

305
00:11:38,902 --> 00:11:42,462
And by the time a judge decides-
Right … you know what I'm saying?

306
00:11:42,582 --> 00:11:42,752
Right.

307
00:11:42,762 --> 00:11:46,742
So that's really the case here,
is, is does this include it?

308
00:11:46,762 --> 00:11:48,762
And if it does, they
really should list it.

309
00:11:48,762 --> 00:11:51,202
Um- I mean, I, I mean, you know me.

310
00:11:51,282 --> 00:11:54,722
I find it, I think that it's,
I think the whole situation is

311
00:11:54,802 --> 00:11:56,702
ridiculous to even question it.

312
00:11:56,702 --> 00:11:57,642
That, that we…

313
00:11:57,922 --> 00:11:58,182
Yeah.

314
00:11:58,342 --> 00:11:58,552
Like, question it.

315
00:11:58,552 --> 00:11:59,922
Well, like I said- Like, what is it?

316
00:11:59,922 --> 00:12:00,782
… in a perfect world, we shouldn't
even be questioning that.

317
00:12:00,782 --> 00:12:01,712
It shouldn't even be questioned.

318
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:01,742
Yeah.

319
00:12:01,752 --> 00:12:02,882
Like, it is what it is.

320
00:12:02,882 --> 00:12:06,712
How somebody lives their li- lives
their lives and how someone is, wants

321
00:12:06,712 --> 00:12:09,822
to be perceived in a relationship
has nothing to do with law.

322
00:12:09,952 --> 00:12:10,462
Right.

323
00:12:10,732 --> 00:12:11,664
But- Right … that's another day.

324
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:18,712
But because, because we live in, in a- A
country that is ruled by people who make

325
00:12:18,732 --> 00:12:21,332
laws by what they feel is morally right.

326
00:12:21,332 --> 00:12:25,572
Because let's face facts, a lot of the
laws that are created in this country

327
00:12:26,052 --> 00:12:32,492
are created because people feel this is
their moral obligation to make this a law.

328
00:12:32,612 --> 00:12:32,852
Yeah.

329
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:33,102
Right?

330
00:12:33,342 --> 00:12:35,382
So di- discrimination happens.

331
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:35,702
Yeah.

332
00:12:35,782 --> 00:12:42,032
Discrimination happens in every ounce of,
of this life that we have in this country.

333
00:12:42,202 --> 00:12:44,772
So you have to have
protected classes, right?

334
00:12:44,992 --> 00:12:47,012
Now, has this happened anywhere else?

335
00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:48,212
No, just Seattle.

336
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:49,452
Just Seattle right now.

337
00:12:49,682 --> 00:12:52,052
It's not even Washington
State, just Seattle.

338
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:55,932
Recognized by city council and
pushed through for Seattle.

339
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:56,842
I like that.

340
00:12:56,992 --> 00:12:58,162
And, you know- I love Seattle.

341
00:12:58,162 --> 00:13:00,712
Guys, if y'all need to move
anywhere, move to Seattle.

342
00:13:00,862 --> 00:13:02,922
I would, I'm t- I would
totally move to Seattle.

343
00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:06,932
You know, I, I feel like it's
a, a very interesting thing

344
00:13:06,932 --> 00:13:08,422
that has, has come about.

345
00:13:08,652 --> 00:13:11,202
Now, I know while people are listening
to this, there, there's gonna be a

346
00:13:11,202 --> 00:13:16,032
lot of people who, even if they are
in this lifestyle, they are negative

347
00:13:16,032 --> 00:13:19,072
about the situation, and they're
gonna say stuff like, "Well, yeah,

348
00:13:19,072 --> 00:13:23,762
but Seattle also, you know, made
it legal to do drugs," you know?

349
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:24,132
They did.

350
00:13:24,142 --> 00:13:26,212
Now- The, the hard drugs … I
mean, we're not gonna get into

351
00:13:26,212 --> 00:13:30,132
that, but guys, they also give
medication to people who do drugs.

352
00:13:30,362 --> 00:13:32,942
Like, people are gonna
do drugs, no matter what.

353
00:13:33,192 --> 00:13:36,922
If you like heroin, if you like
fentanyl, if you like pills,

354
00:13:36,922 --> 00:13:38,462
like, you're gonna fucking do 'em.

355
00:13:38,462 --> 00:13:41,582
Like, that's just y'all… It's,
addiction is a, is a horrible thing.

356
00:13:41,712 --> 00:13:41,962
Yeah.

357
00:13:42,232 --> 00:13:45,832
But they're giving you tools because
people don't know how to stop.

358
00:13:45,882 --> 00:13:48,962
Now, if you've ever been addicted
to anything, you understand

359
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,532
the struggle, and you get it.

360
00:13:50,722 --> 00:13:51,912
So smart.

361
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:53,212
They are fucking smart.

362
00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:55,582
Nonetheless- Like, they're fucking smart.

363
00:13:55,622 --> 00:13:56,912
That, that took a turn.

364
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:57,252
Sorry.

365
00:13:57,482 --> 00:14:01,552
Um, but nonetheless, but what, what,
what I was, what I'm really getting at

366
00:14:01,552 --> 00:14:04,812
though is, yeah, 'cause there's, there's
people who automatically equate that as,

367
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:06,662
well, that's a questionable decision.

368
00:14:06,672 --> 00:14:07,062
Yeah.

369
00:14:07,102 --> 00:14:08,482
And I understand.

370
00:14:08,672 --> 00:14:09,502
That's fine.

371
00:14:09,722 --> 00:14:13,282
But we have to admit, this is a big win.

372
00:14:13,482 --> 00:14:15,382
I mean, I, I will agree with you.

373
00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:17,592
That's- This is a big
win … that's a big thing.

374
00:14:17,622 --> 00:14:20,062
I mean, we're, we're in Texas, guys.

375
00:14:20,432 --> 00:14:22,122
They don't give a shit here.

376
00:14:22,872 --> 00:14:24,442
Like- Yeah … they don't give a shit.

377
00:14:24,442 --> 00:14:31,962
They do not… Texas does not care if
you, if you see yourself as a transgender.

378
00:14:32,182 --> 00:14:36,902
They're like, "Yeah, that doesn't even
exist in our books." So for Seattle- You

379
00:14:36,902 --> 00:14:41,722
know, Seattle is, is a very progressive,
uh, city I- Uh, our friends from

380
00:14:41,722 --> 00:14:43,852
Multiamory- Yes … are in, in Seattle.

381
00:14:43,852 --> 00:14:44,722
They are in Seattle.

382
00:14:44,722 --> 00:14:49,172
Uh, you know, there, there's a lot
of polyamorous relationships that

383
00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:51,416
are- Flourishing in that area.

384
00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:56,346
And so for them to come out and say, "Hey,
this is a class that we're protecting.

385
00:14:56,546 --> 00:14:59,466
You cannot be discriminated
against," uh, you know, I think

386
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:00,716
that's really pretty cool.

387
00:15:00,926 --> 00:15:06,126
Olympia, Portland, Oakland, and West
Hollywood have actually passed similar

388
00:15:06,126 --> 00:15:08,356
measures like this this past year.

389
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:08,776
Oh, okay.

390
00:15:09,146 --> 00:15:12,716
And Seattle's taking
effect in June of 2027.

391
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,296
Wow.

392
00:15:13,306 --> 00:15:13,996
So that's, that's official.

393
00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:14,566
Okay.

394
00:15:14,596 --> 00:15:16,826
So this is becoming a
trend, you could say.

395
00:15:17,146 --> 00:15:20,712
Uh, it's becoming a thing that's
gonna be Uh, you know, who knows?

396
00:15:20,752 --> 00:15:24,092
I mean, are we gonna see, are we
gonna see Austin ever push that?

397
00:15:24,102 --> 00:15:24,672
I don't know.

398
00:15:24,812 --> 00:15:27,122
Now- I don't know … when
does this ever come into play?

399
00:15:27,242 --> 00:15:31,792
Is it when someone asks, "Are you married,
single, divorced, widowed?" So- Or poly?

400
00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:33,232
… that's a really good question.

401
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:37,852
So I actually, I think I made note
of that here, uh, because I had a

402
00:15:37,852 --> 00:15:39,382
feeling that that would come up.

403
00:15:39,932 --> 00:15:43,072
I mean, like, like I… And I
get it when, when maybe you're at

404
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:46,082
the doctor's office and they're
asking you, like, "Are you married?

405
00:15:46,082 --> 00:15:46,732
Are you single?

406
00:15:46,732 --> 00:15:47,522
Are you divorced?

407
00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:48,402
Are you widowed?

408
00:15:48,612 --> 00:15:51,682
Or are you poly?" So here's
what it covers, okay?

409
00:15:51,982 --> 00:15:53,482
This is the reason why it came to be.

410
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:53,952
Okay.

411
00:15:54,172 --> 00:15:58,842
The, the person, there was a s- very
specific person who pushed or, or

412
00:15:58,852 --> 00:16:00,502
started to really push for this.

413
00:16:00,562 --> 00:16:00,882
Okay.

414
00:16:01,072 --> 00:16:06,872
Because 5% of Seattle's population are
ethically non-monogamous or consensual.

415
00:16:06,872 --> 00:16:08,922
5%? 5%. Wow, that's not bad.

416
00:16:09,072 --> 00:16:09,222
Okay?

417
00:16:09,342 --> 00:16:09,512
Wow.

418
00:16:09,512 --> 00:16:14,642
So with that, uh, this person particularly
brought this up, pushed for it,

419
00:16:14,912 --> 00:16:21,742
because their partner was dealing with
discrimination from their em- employer.

420
00:16:21,952 --> 00:16:22,652
Wow.

421
00:16:22,692 --> 00:16:24,522
And they didn't like it.

422
00:16:24,662 --> 00:16:25,572
They felt bullied.

423
00:16:25,672 --> 00:16:27,552
I mean- And so they said, "You
know what? Yeah. We're gonna

424
00:16:27,552 --> 00:16:29,092
push for this." And it worked.

425
00:16:29,362 --> 00:16:30,812
Now, here's what it covers.

426
00:16:30,942 --> 00:16:35,792
It covers employment, it covers
housing, business licensure, places

427
00:16:35,792 --> 00:16:39,992
of public accommodation, park usage,
I thought that one was funny, and

428
00:16:40,002 --> 00:16:44,812
bias-free, uh, policing enforced by
the city's Office of Civil Rights.

429
00:16:44,972 --> 00:16:44,992
Huh.

430
00:16:44,992 --> 00:16:47,982
Now, all of those made
sense to me, but park usage?

431
00:16:48,292 --> 00:16:48,642
What?

432
00:16:49,202 --> 00:16:50,262
Park, park usage?

433
00:16:50,472 --> 00:16:53,812
Our, our… I'm sorry, I…
So we're non-monogamous, we

434
00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:54,752
go to parks all the time.

435
00:16:54,912 --> 00:16:58,242
I- I mean, I mean, I- … don't, uh… I
mean, we don't go to parks to fuck around,

436
00:16:58,242 --> 00:16:59,792
but, you know, I mean, what is that?

437
00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:01,532
I- What is that?

438
00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:05,952
It, it's a great, it's a great
thing to put into, into your…

439
00:17:06,142 --> 00:17:06,652
What is it?

440
00:17:06,682 --> 00:17:06,872
A law?

441
00:17:06,872 --> 00:17:08,142
Are they, are they saying- Is it a law?

442
00:17:08,392 --> 00:17:11,482
… that people can't go to parks
if you're non-monogamous?

443
00:17:11,522 --> 00:17:12,062
Is it a law?

444
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:13,202
Is that what it's called, a law?

445
00:17:13,262 --> 00:17:14,432
It is a law, yeah.

446
00:17:14,462 --> 00:17:18,312
I mean, I think it's, I think that's kinda
cool because people can be more free.

447
00:17:18,492 --> 00:17:20,582
I mean, I, I understand people
are, you know, we're just kind of

448
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:23,322
sometimes we're hidden and we don't
wanna talk about our situations, and

449
00:17:23,392 --> 00:17:24,842
we can't live life to the fullest.

450
00:17:24,842 --> 00:17:26,592
But these people have made history.

451
00:17:26,852 --> 00:17:29,812
Well, you know, that's, that's really,
kinda loops back to the last show

452
00:17:29,812 --> 00:17:34,432
that we did about having to be, uh,
discreet, not, not being able to know

453
00:17:34,432 --> 00:17:36,482
how to act in front of vanilla s- Yeah.

454
00:17:36,492 --> 00:17:42,132
Like- … I love talking about the
lifestyle, and I have to keep it a

455
00:17:42,132 --> 00:17:44,322
little bit tight with certain people.

456
00:17:44,412 --> 00:17:49,392
And it's, it's not, like, something like,
"Oh, I got slammed by two guys today."

457
00:17:49,392 --> 00:17:51,132
Not, like, that kinda conversation.

458
00:17:51,152 --> 00:17:51,565
Yeah, yeah.

459
00:17:51,565 --> 00:17:53,169
But, like- You're not walking into,
uh- … "What are you doing this weekend?"

460
00:17:53,169 --> 00:17:56,152
Or, "How was your weekend?" … not
walking into work with cum on your face.

461
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:56,692
Yeah, no.

462
00:17:56,712 --> 00:17:56,882
Yeah.

463
00:17:57,272 --> 00:17:57,732
Not lately.

464
00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,592
Going, "You wouldn't
believe what I just did.

465
00:17:59,592 --> 00:18:03,082
I ran into the guy before I
walked in here, and bam, shot in

466
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,292
the eye." You know what I mean?

467
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,892
Like, it's, uh, people s- people
have this- Yeah … thought about

468
00:18:07,892 --> 00:18:12,312
swingers- Mm-hmm … because we
partake in, in sexual freedom, that

469
00:18:12,322 --> 00:18:14,752
we're all these nasty motherfuckers.

470
00:18:15,042 --> 00:18:17,922
And, and they get these thoughts
from, from porn, which I gotta

471
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,728
tell you, those porn It's hot.

472
00:18:19,948 --> 00:18:20,908
I, I like them.

473
00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:22,608
But it's not reality.

474
00:18:22,738 --> 00:18:23,298
No.

475
00:18:23,298 --> 00:18:26,608
And, a- and we, we know and we've said
over and over again, that's not reality.

476
00:18:26,608 --> 00:18:27,498
That's not reality.

477
00:18:27,588 --> 00:18:28,368
That's not true.

478
00:18:28,378 --> 00:18:28,698
No.

479
00:18:29,530 --> 00:18:33,470
But that's what people think about
when they think about swinging, is,

480
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:37,910
is that we're all just, "By the way,
I'm, I'm, I'm gonna go at lunchtime to

481
00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:39,700
the dumpsters and give some guy head."

482
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,460
I mean, I think- You know what I mean?

483
00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:43,220
Like, that's what they think … I
think people don't even understand

484
00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:47,670
the situation when I say I'm
bisexual and I'm married to a man.

485
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:48,470
How's that?

486
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:53,060
Like, if I tell somebody I'm bisexual
that's not in the, in the lifestyle or

487
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:57,250
is just, like, oblivious, they're like,
"Well, what do you mean you're bisexual?"

488
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,770
Mm. And it's like, "Yeah, I l- I like
women as well as men." And see, to me,

489
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:02,980
that's- And you're married to a man.

490
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:03,600
Yeah.

491
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,420
It's like, well, yeah, I'm not a lesbian.

492
00:19:06,950 --> 00:19:07,460
I like men.

493
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:12,020
So that's… What's funny is, and
I, I didn't really think about this

494
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:16,520
until recently, but realistically,
if you meet a couple that you

495
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,370
think are monogamous- Mm-hmm

496
00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:21,900
and the wife comes out and says,
"Oh, yeah, I'm bisexual," that

497
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,250
is a non-monogamous couple.

498
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,627
That is a non-monogamous couple.

499
00:19:24,627 --> 00:19:30,360
Because if she, if she's open about her
bisexuality and her love of women, chances

500
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:34,600
are she's partaking, and- Doesn't mean
she's a swinger Doesn't mean she's a

501
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,970
swinger … just means she likes women.

502
00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:38,820
But it also means she's non-monogamous.

503
00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:39,850
Non-monogamous.

504
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,640
Because they're… Well-
Well- … if they're

505
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,100
practicing … if they're prac- Yeah.

506
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:44,180
Touche.

507
00:19:44,670 --> 00:19:45,990
If they're practicing.

508
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:46,420
Touche.

509
00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:47,040
I like that.

510
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,400
We- We were on the same page there,
'cause I could, I could hear a, a

511
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,570
little parrot voice come in my ear
and go, "If they're practicing."

512
00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:57,020
I'm like, "Oh." If they're
practicing- That's right … then.

513
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:57,460
Yeah, yeah.

514
00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:57,900
Then.

515
00:19:57,900 --> 00:19:59,950
If- You know, then they're-
Obviously … they're non-monogamous.

516
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,830
But if they're not practicing-
Then it's just something that

517
00:20:02,830 --> 00:20:05,730
she likes … it's just something
that she enjoys visually, I guess.

518
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:06,920
Vis- you know.

519
00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:07,310
Yeah.

520
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:08,190
Doing that waka, waka, waka too.

521
00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:09,070
That's right.

522
00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:09,130
Yeah.

523
00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:11,880
Playing the DJ all night long.

524
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:12,600
Yeah, yeah.

525
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:12,870
Yeah.

526
00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:14,720
Getting the little man in
the boat ready to fish.

527
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:16,080
That's right.

528
00:20:16,770 --> 00:20:18,600
Waving to the bottom part of your pants.

529
00:20:19,430 --> 00:20:19,750
Right.

530
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:20,010
That's right.

531
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:24,520
So, yeah, I mean, it, it's… I,
I, hey, I think that's the coolest

532
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,850
thing ever, and I think that… I
would say that this is gonna start

533
00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:30,480
turning wheels for other places.

534
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,000
Yeah.

535
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:31,810
But it's not.

536
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:33,040
You know- It's not.

537
00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:36,860
Like, we can- Well, well- It's, it's
not … well- Baby … well- Baby … I

538
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,360
mean, it's not just Seattle for one thing.

539
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,850
We just listed off a few other
cities that are doing it, but

540
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,240
you have to consider one thing.

541
00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:42,890
Mm-hmm.

542
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:43,630
Weed.

543
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:44,240
Uh-huh.

544
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:46,200
It started with one.

545
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:46,960
Weed.

546
00:20:47,020 --> 00:20:47,240
But I, yeah.

547
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,110
Weed legalization started with one city.

548
00:20:50,210 --> 00:20:50,640
Yes.

549
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:51,960
And it went from there.

550
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:52,400
Yes.

551
00:20:52,510 --> 00:20:55,400
I mean, it's a step in
the right direction.

552
00:20:55,410 --> 00:20:55,692
It, it definitely is.

553
00:20:55,692 --> 00:20:59,950
Now, will it, will it happen for, you
know, a lot of the United States- I

554
00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:00,910
won't- … in the next five years?

555
00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:01,970
Probably not.

556
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:06,770
I won't downplay the win, because
I find the win is amazing.

557
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:10,540
I mean, it's amazing for these
people who wanted it, right?

558
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:15,150
Like, I, I, I understand that,
and for the community in Seattle

559
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:17,050
that really thrived to push this.

560
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,010
Hey, mazel tov, dude.

561
00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:21,040
Like, great fucking job.

562
00:21:21,350 --> 00:21:21,660
Yeah.

563
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:25,718
I would hope that other places
do it, but I don't know, man.

564
00:21:26,068 --> 00:21:26,618
I don't know.

565
00:21:26,628 --> 00:21:29,338
Well, you know, o- on this- I know
one place that's not gonna do it.

566
00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:32,625
On this… I know several
places that are not gonna do it.

567
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,018
Harry, I can tell you right now,
it will never- I'd say the Deep

568
00:21:35,018 --> 00:21:37,748
South is probably not gonna go
there … never gonna happen here.

569
00:21:37,758 --> 00:21:41,438
Uh, but you just never know, because
let me tell you, there are several

570
00:21:41,608 --> 00:21:44,438
throuples that I follow on TikTok.

571
00:21:44,448 --> 00:21:44,468
Yeah.

572
00:21:44,588 --> 00:21:46,568
And many are in Florida.

573
00:21:46,768 --> 00:21:47,428
That's awesome.

574
00:21:47,538 --> 00:21:47,598
I'm glad.

575
00:21:47,608 --> 00:21:48,788
Many are in Florida.

576
00:21:48,788 --> 00:21:48,888
Good luck, more power.

577
00:21:48,888 --> 00:21:52,138
And we all know that there's a lot
of swingers as well in Florida.

578
00:21:52,148 --> 00:21:53,428
More power to you guys.

579
00:21:53,428 --> 00:21:57,018
I mean, I hope, I hope that, I hope
that y'all can fight it and, and,

580
00:21:57,028 --> 00:21:58,968
you know, get, get something rolling.

581
00:21:58,968 --> 00:21:59,838
That would be amazing.

582
00:22:00,168 --> 00:22:02,478
You know, things only happen in numbers.

583
00:22:02,678 --> 00:22:03,078
Yeah.

584
00:22:03,108 --> 00:22:07,308
So the more people you have doing it,
and the more people you have pushing

585
00:22:07,308 --> 00:22:10,578
it, and the more people that want
this kinda change, it's gonna change.

586
00:22:10,578 --> 00:22:12,628
And, well, so that is the key there.

587
00:22:12,648 --> 00:22:14,068
They gotta want the change.

588
00:22:14,068 --> 00:22:14,248
Yeah.

589
00:22:14,428 --> 00:22:18,688
There's a lot of people who are
even listeners, much less in the

590
00:22:18,688 --> 00:22:22,608
community, who will say, "Well, I'm
not trying to be out with this." Yeah.

591
00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:25,908
"I… You know, what I do- Oh, for
sure … what I do in my own personal

592
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,308
time is nobody's business." Yeah.

593
00:22:27,318 --> 00:22:29,468
"And I don't, I don't
wanna be out with this."

594
00:22:29,498 --> 00:22:29,638
Yeah.

595
00:22:29,638 --> 00:22:31,908
"And so I'm not gonna fight that
fight." And you don't have to.

596
00:22:31,938 --> 00:22:35,118
But it really… So, you know, one
of the, one of the commenters on

597
00:22:35,118 --> 00:22:38,658
this particular article, uh, was
a fella named Richard Gilmore.

598
00:22:38,668 --> 00:22:43,898
He is about to celebrate 26 years
in a four-person relationship

599
00:22:43,918 --> 00:22:45,998
with two men and two women.

600
00:22:46,178 --> 00:22:46,758
Wow.

601
00:22:46,768 --> 00:22:48,828
And- Way to go, Richard Gilmore.

602
00:22:48,828 --> 00:22:51,028
Did you know- I mean, that's, I
mean, that's the GOAT right there.

603
00:22:51,038 --> 00:22:55,058
Did you know Richard Gilmore
was the grandfather on- Gilmore

604
00:22:55,058 --> 00:22:56,128
Girls … Gilmore Girls?

605
00:22:56,298 --> 00:22:56,688
Wow.

606
00:22:56,768 --> 00:22:57,908
You really get around, buddy.

607
00:22:57,908 --> 00:22:59,108
So, so way to go.

608
00:22:59,128 --> 00:23:03,658
Uh, but, but he actually was, in
that article, he had spoke about

609
00:23:03,878 --> 00:23:06,218
the fear of discrimination at work.

610
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,248
I, I would agree with that.

611
00:23:07,278 --> 00:23:09,398
I can't even talk about bisexuality.

612
00:23:09,478 --> 00:23:09,778
No.

613
00:23:09,838 --> 00:23:12,978
Because I will feel- Yeah … like
I would get… And there's not,

614
00:23:13,008 --> 00:23:16,468
we're not a big staff, but I
would get looked at oddl- oddly.

615
00:23:16,538 --> 00:23:17,178
Totally.

616
00:23:17,328 --> 00:23:17,648
Totally.

617
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:21,718
Like- Well, you know, I always said
being open as a swinger- Mm-hmm … to

618
00:23:21,718 --> 00:23:26,418
people who are not in the community,
not in the lifestyle, is difficult

619
00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:31,238
because if you come out to a room full
of men and women and you say that,

620
00:23:31,298 --> 00:23:34,428
"Well, I'm a swinger," everybody's
gonna assume that you're automatically

621
00:23:34,428 --> 00:23:35,908
trying to have sex with them.

622
00:23:36,068 --> 00:23:36,518
Yes.

623
00:23:36,668 --> 00:23:36,968
Yes.

624
00:23:37,108 --> 00:23:41,118
And the guys are gonna think
that it's open for business.

625
00:23:41,208 --> 00:23:41,628
Yes.

626
00:23:41,698 --> 00:23:44,588
And the women are gonna get
kind of upset and be like, "Stay

627
00:23:44,588 --> 00:23:45,808
away from my husband." Yes.

628
00:23:45,868 --> 00:23:46,428
You know what I mean?

629
00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:46,808
Mm-hmm.

630
00:23:47,038 --> 00:23:52,518
Um, if I come out into a, a room
full of men and women and I say,

631
00:23:52,528 --> 00:23:56,148
"I'm a swinger," to a bunch of
vanillas, the women are automatically

632
00:23:56,148 --> 00:23:57,978
going to shield themselves from me.

633
00:23:58,098 --> 00:23:58,158
Yes.

634
00:23:58,168 --> 00:24:00,478
Because they think that any little
thing that I'm gonna tell them

635
00:24:00,478 --> 00:24:01,798
is me trying to sleep with them.

636
00:24:02,198 --> 00:24:05,028
And the men are gonna think
that I'm a little bit gay.

637
00:24:05,934 --> 00:24:06,944
And, uh, you're right.

638
00:24:06,974 --> 00:24:11,504
If you're just not in a regular
monogamous relationship, when you

639
00:24:11,504 --> 00:24:14,754
come out with your relationship
style, are people gonna look sideways?

640
00:24:14,984 --> 00:24:15,284
Yeah.

641
00:24:15,484 --> 00:24:15,674
Yeah.

642
00:24:15,674 --> 00:24:15,754
Every, every time.

643
00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:17,214
Like, no matter what it is.

644
00:24:17,244 --> 00:24:17,804
Every time.

645
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:22,404
You know, I, I, I just feel like a
lot of… Like, when we came out,

646
00:24:22,404 --> 00:24:25,694
like, when we s- came out with the
podcast, for example, we weren't

647
00:24:25,694 --> 00:24:29,624
quiet about our lifestyle, but we also
didn't really throw out a whole lot.

648
00:24:29,674 --> 00:24:29,974
No.

649
00:24:30,044 --> 00:24:34,494
When we came out about the podcast,
well, hell, we started spamming

650
00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:38,694
our social medias with clips and
content and things like that.

651
00:24:38,704 --> 00:24:38,734
Yes.

652
00:24:38,844 --> 00:24:43,878
Mm-hmm And I feel like there was a
lot of people, I don't, I, I don't

653
00:24:43,878 --> 00:24:47,648
know about your, uh, social medias,
but on my social medias I had a lot

654
00:24:47,648 --> 00:24:51,118
of people who were in the vanilla
world, maybe people that I knew from

655
00:24:51,118 --> 00:24:57,138
high school, I knew from college, you
know, or just past working friends.

656
00:24:57,148 --> 00:24:57,178
Mm-hmm.

657
00:24:57,188 --> 00:24:58,048
You know, that sort of thing.

658
00:24:58,148 --> 00:25:00,628
That I feel were very accepting.

659
00:25:00,718 --> 00:25:02,228
Like, they didn't bat an eye.

660
00:25:02,338 --> 00:25:03,758
They didn't act differently.

661
00:25:04,008 --> 00:25:08,198
They didn't act like whenever I sent
them a message to say, "Hello, I hope

662
00:25:08,198 --> 00:25:11,498
you guys are doing great," or whatever,
they didn't think I was hitting on them

663
00:25:11,498 --> 00:25:13,438
and, and overreact or anything like that.

664
00:25:13,488 --> 00:25:13,808
You know what I mean?

665
00:25:13,808 --> 00:25:14,108
Yeah.

666
00:25:14,248 --> 00:25:14,588
No.

667
00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:18,608
I- Um, now there were some friends that
had messaged me at, when we initially

668
00:25:18,608 --> 00:25:23,278
came out back in- Yeah … what, 2016 or
'15- Yeah … or whatever it was, that had

669
00:25:23,278 --> 00:25:27,048
messaged and were like, "You know what?
The lifestyle you're living is wrong.

670
00:25:27,088 --> 00:25:32,678
And you know, I, I, I just really… Y-
you're, you're violating so many things,

671
00:25:32,718 --> 00:25:34,808
and it's just not a, a good way to l-…"

672
00:25:34,818 --> 00:25:35,768
And just so judgy.

673
00:25:36,028 --> 00:25:36,768
So judgy.

674
00:25:36,788 --> 00:25:38,108
Just filled with judgment.

675
00:25:38,208 --> 00:25:42,368
And one, it's fine if you wanna have
your own opinion about things, but

676
00:25:42,378 --> 00:25:47,698
don't feel the need to go out of
your way to tell somebody who feels

677
00:25:47,708 --> 00:25:51,728
just barely okay saying it out loud.

678
00:25:51,778 --> 00:25:52,548
Yeah.

679
00:25:52,738 --> 00:25:55,208
It's hard to say the thing out loud.

680
00:25:55,208 --> 00:25:55,398
Don't be an asshole.

681
00:25:55,398 --> 00:25:56,648
It's hard to say the thing out loud.

682
00:25:56,658 --> 00:25:56,908
It is.

683
00:25:56,958 --> 00:26:02,348
And, and you know, I say this, and
all the while our LGBTQ friends are

684
00:26:02,348 --> 00:26:06,288
sitting back in their seat drinking
their tea going, "Yeah, motherfucker.

685
00:26:06,498 --> 00:26:09,758
This is the fight we've been fighting-
I get it … for so long." Yeah.

686
00:26:10,078 --> 00:26:14,508
And, and many of them get to
experience that, that freedom of

687
00:26:14,528 --> 00:26:18,028
coming out and living the life
that they wanna live happily.

688
00:26:18,308 --> 00:26:19,678
You did when you came out as bisexual.

689
00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:20,198
Oh, yeah.

690
00:26:20,398 --> 00:26:22,668
And you f- you were finally
able to say the thing.

691
00:26:22,678 --> 00:26:22,698
Yeah.

692
00:26:22,738 --> 00:26:23,528
And it was freeing.

693
00:26:23,588 --> 00:26:23,808
Mm-hmm.

694
00:26:24,028 --> 00:26:28,368
Being able to say that we're ethically
non-monogamous for me is very freeing.

695
00:26:28,398 --> 00:26:28,678
Yeah.

696
00:26:29,158 --> 00:26:32,398
And being able to talk about it
openly is very freeing, and I've

697
00:26:32,398 --> 00:26:33,988
gotten very accustomed to that.

698
00:26:34,078 --> 00:26:37,028
But there are still certain
things- That you cannot- … like

699
00:26:37,028 --> 00:26:38,528
employment … that you just can't.

700
00:26:38,868 --> 00:26:40,358
You gotta, you gotta bite your tongue.

701
00:26:40,868 --> 00:26:44,708
On employment, sometimes there's certain
family you just, you know, maybe you

702
00:26:44,708 --> 00:26:47,818
have a grandmother and you're like,
"She's not gonna understand this." Yeah.

703
00:26:47,818 --> 00:26:48,328
It's okay.

704
00:26:48,498 --> 00:26:48,768
Yeah.

705
00:26:49,138 --> 00:26:50,448
We don't have to tell Granny.

706
00:26:50,478 --> 00:26:50,788
Yeah.

707
00:26:50,788 --> 00:26:55,808
Uh, y- you know, the, the hard part I
think especially for polyamorous people

708
00:26:56,048 --> 00:27:00,538
when it comes to employment is if you're
in, say, a throuple that's very serious.

709
00:27:00,618 --> 00:27:00,908
Mm-hmm.

710
00:27:01,058 --> 00:27:04,808
For example, if I was, say this
was not the number one priority,

711
00:27:04,838 --> 00:27:06,718
but we were kitchen table poly.

712
00:27:06,748 --> 00:27:11,148
Mm. So your as, and, and mine
relationship is, is important, but

713
00:27:11,158 --> 00:27:13,938
my relationship with this other
person that I have is important, and

714
00:27:13,948 --> 00:27:15,558
we got a little V thing happening.

715
00:27:15,698 --> 00:27:19,708
If I have a Christmas party at
work, who the hell am I taking?

716
00:27:19,948 --> 00:27:20,308
Me.

717
00:27:20,498 --> 00:27:25,308
Who is my, who is considered- Yeah … my
work girlfriend or my work wife?

718
00:27:25,308 --> 00:27:25,588
Like, it can't be a plus one.

719
00:27:25,588 --> 00:27:26,388
You know, whatever it is.

720
00:27:26,448 --> 00:27:27,128
Exactly.

721
00:27:27,388 --> 00:27:30,718
You can't say, "Oh, you know what? I'm
gonna take my…" My two girlfriends

722
00:27:30,718 --> 00:27:32,718
with me But you also, I mean, you
gotta be considerate Or I'm gonna

723
00:27:32,718 --> 00:27:36,268
take my wife and my girlfriend But
you can't also bring the whole family.

724
00:27:36,308 --> 00:27:38,368
Like, you have to pick sometimes.

725
00:27:38,608 --> 00:27:41,588
Sorry, poly people, you're
gonna have to pick sometimes.

726
00:27:41,758 --> 00:27:44,228
If it's an employer, you
can't just take both.

727
00:27:44,468 --> 00:27:46,538
It… I mean, I don't know.

728
00:27:46,738 --> 00:27:47,418
You can't.

729
00:27:47,478 --> 00:27:48,648
I mean, I will say this.

730
00:27:48,678 --> 00:27:49,428
I'm not gonna say that you can't.

731
00:27:49,428 --> 00:27:52,678
You should be, you should be a- It's a
valid relationship You should be able to

732
00:27:52,828 --> 00:27:54,248
But if, if you're gonna- But you can't

733
00:27:54,248 --> 00:27:58,108
if you're gonna take more than one person,
and you're gonna claim that you have

734
00:27:58,118 --> 00:28:02,278
this more than one person relationship,
and you show up to the Christmas party

735
00:28:02,278 --> 00:28:06,828
at your employer's place- Yeah … then,
I mean- Go by yourself … you're gonna

736
00:28:06,828 --> 00:28:09,318
get discounted on your food plates.

737
00:28:09,628 --> 00:28:10,688
We'll allow it.

738
00:28:10,888 --> 00:28:11,748
Just go by yourself.

739
00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:12,508
But discounts.

740
00:28:12,508 --> 00:28:13,318
You're paying something.

741
00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:15,748
Because you're bringing
a whole extra person.

742
00:28:15,778 --> 00:28:16,438
Yeah.

743
00:28:16,868 --> 00:28:18,958
I mean, I, I underst- I do.

744
00:28:18,958 --> 00:28:19,748
I, I- That's fine with you guys.

745
00:28:20,158 --> 00:28:20,698
I love you.

746
00:28:21,008 --> 00:28:21,868
I would not charge you.

747
00:28:22,228 --> 00:28:25,108
But, but, you know, I mean, it, that,
that really, it- that's gotta be,

748
00:28:25,168 --> 00:28:27,148
like, on the, on the serious end.

749
00:28:27,368 --> 00:28:29,578
Or, like, when it, it's
an emergency, right?

750
00:28:29,588 --> 00:28:33,368
Like, when you have an emergency- Yeah
… and you c- you're only, your, your p-

751
00:28:33,538 --> 00:28:37,328
spouse can call and ask, "Oh, are you
re- what's, what's your relation?" "Well,

752
00:28:37,488 --> 00:28:41,588
I'm the girlfriend," or, "I'm the wife,
and this is the girlfriend." Like, the,

753
00:28:41,638 --> 00:28:44,008
unfortunately they're gonna only pick one.

754
00:28:44,188 --> 00:28:44,578
Yeah.

755
00:28:44,578 --> 00:28:48,108
You know, that's a really, really
good example, because I was just

756
00:28:48,118 --> 00:28:49,318
thinking about that show, The Pit.

757
00:28:49,408 --> 00:28:50,418
I gotta pick that up again.

758
00:28:50,688 --> 00:28:55,818
Anyways, but I was, I, I had this whole
flash of, you know, who, who do they

759
00:28:55,818 --> 00:28:58,958
let into the ICU or whatever, you know?

760
00:28:58,958 --> 00:29:00,998
Is, is it the wife or
is it the girlfriend?

761
00:29:01,048 --> 00:29:01,516
Usually the wife.

762
00:29:01,516 --> 00:29:05,278
Do they have to say, "Okay, you know what?
Who's the one saying this?" Or- If you're

763
00:29:05,278 --> 00:29:10,684
still married and a do not resuscitate
is an option, the wife is choosing Ooh

764
00:29:10,974 --> 00:29:15,694
Not the girlfriend You just darkened
my day I'm choosing Ugh I'm choosing

765
00:29:15,924 --> 00:29:17,284
to pull that plug That got dark, man.

766
00:29:17,354 --> 00:29:20,994
That got dark real fast I mean, have
you ever seen that movie, um- I'm

767
00:29:20,994 --> 00:29:24,594
sure I have … uh, you, you have
seen it, Diary of a Mad Black Woman?

768
00:29:24,844 --> 00:29:28,674
I have And the girlfriend's like,
"He's not gonna h- he's paralyzed."

769
00:29:28,674 --> 00:29:30,264
And she's, "He's not gonna have a life.

770
00:29:30,404 --> 00:29:33,404
Pull the plug." And the, they haven't
divorced yet, and the wife came in and

771
00:29:33,404 --> 00:29:35,884
she's like, "Are you fucking crazy?"

772
00:29:36,154 --> 00:29:36,354
Yeah.

773
00:29:36,354 --> 00:29:37,394
Oh, man Like that.

774
00:29:37,824 --> 00:29:39,414
I felt like Tyler Perry was here.

775
00:29:39,554 --> 00:29:40,084
That was good.

776
00:29:40,734 --> 00:29:41,944
That was a good re- retelling.

777
00:29:42,074 --> 00:29:42,884
Little Shakespearean.

778
00:29:42,884 --> 00:29:44,134
I like that movie.

779
00:29:44,144 --> 00:29:45,114
Yeah, I see that.

780
00:29:45,194 --> 00:29:45,724
That's good.

781
00:29:45,774 --> 00:29:46,564
That's good stuff.

782
00:29:46,844 --> 00:29:51,744
You know, I, I, I am honestly,
like, I, I don't know how, how,

783
00:29:51,834 --> 00:29:53,604
how difficult that would, would be.

784
00:29:53,744 --> 00:29:56,074
Well, let me tell you- I've always
had a primary relationship, so I

785
00:29:56,074 --> 00:29:57,494
don't know how difficult that would be

786
00:29:57,630 --> 00:30:00,130
All right, this next one's
a personal favorite of mine.

787
00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:02,630
Pleasure Chest If you don't
know them, you should.

788
00:30:02,660 --> 00:30:03,960
They've been around since the '70s.

789
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,740
Which in sex toy years is
basically ancient royalty.

790
00:30:08,020 --> 00:30:09,170
They've earned it, though.

791
00:30:09,310 --> 00:30:14,150
Locations in New York, Chicago, LA, but
also fully online, so you don't need

792
00:30:14,150 --> 00:30:16,260
to live in a big city to shop there.

793
00:30:16,550 --> 00:30:18,370
And it's not just the toys.

794
00:30:18,740 --> 00:30:22,390
Lingerie, kink gear, lube, wellness stuff.

795
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:26,700
Basically anything you'd want in the
toy chest, they've got a version of it.

796
00:30:26,940 --> 00:30:27,430
That's right.

797
00:30:27,730 --> 00:30:30,800
What we actually like about them
is the education-first approach.

798
00:30:30,850 --> 00:30:34,140
It doesn't feel like walking into
a store and getting side-eyed.

799
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,610
Yeah, it feels like walking in and
getting genuinely good advice from someone

800
00:30:38,610 --> 00:30:40,350
who knows what they're talking about.

801
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,190
Which matters a lot when
you're trying something new.

802
00:30:43,210 --> 00:30:46,080
Whether that's your
first toy or your 15th.

803
00:30:46,460 --> 00:30:47,050
True.

804
00:30:47,340 --> 00:30:52,280
BodySafe materials across the board, too,
so you're not just gambling on quality.

805
00:30:52,790 --> 00:30:53,420
Basically.

806
00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:58,490
If you're curious about something, this
is really solid place to start exploring.

807
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:02,340
Yeah, link's in the show notes, so
go poke around, no pun intended.

808
00:31:02,350 --> 00:31:02,480
Thepleasurechest.com.

809
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:03,540
Go build your own little chest

810
00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:06,800
of pleasures.

811
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,240
We're keeping that line.

812
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:08,940
Obviously.

813
00:31:09,207 --> 00:31:10,997
let me tell you how, how
difficult life- Oh, here we

814
00:31:10,997 --> 00:31:12,017
go … has been for some people.

815
00:31:12,017 --> 00:31:18,717
In a 2025 survey of 5,885 non-monogamous
people, 61% said they'd experienced

816
00:31:18,757 --> 00:31:22,587
prejudice or discrimination,
and most weren't fully open with

817
00:31:22,597 --> 00:31:24,297
work supervisors or landlords.

818
00:31:24,407 --> 00:31:24,967
Wow.

819
00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:27,667
That's a lot of people
That's a lot of people.

820
00:31:27,667 --> 00:31:27,717
That's a lot of people.

821
00:31:27,717 --> 00:31:29,397
And, and that's, that's sad.

822
00:31:29,507 --> 00:31:33,877
I mean- That's sad … that's
only 5,885 people.

823
00:31:34,047 --> 00:31:34,717
That's, yeah.

824
00:31:34,717 --> 00:31:37,157
Like, that's a- That, and
that's only people on a survey.

825
00:31:37,157 --> 00:31:43,797
That's 61, 61%, so more than half
experienced prejudice or discrimination.

826
00:31:43,847 --> 00:31:44,477
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

827
00:31:44,517 --> 00:31:47,477
And they weren't even
open with supervisors.

828
00:31:47,517 --> 00:31:49,247
You know, I was very afraid.

829
00:31:49,267 --> 00:31:50,557
There- Explain that to me, though.

830
00:31:50,727 --> 00:31:54,287
Would that be like, if they weren't
open, how did they get discriminated?

831
00:31:54,457 --> 00:31:58,387
Maybe- I don't get that … so if they
weren't open, like, say- Oh … the

832
00:31:58,387 --> 00:32:00,637
swinger community- Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah … somebody goes rogue,

833
00:32:00,667 --> 00:32:02,507
decides they have a real ax to grind.

834
00:32:02,507 --> 00:32:02,587
Understood.

835
00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:05,157
Yeah They take pictures of
somebody- Yeah … at a swinger

836
00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:06,807
event and send it to their boss.

837
00:32:06,877 --> 00:32:07,307
Boom.

838
00:32:07,437 --> 00:32:07,857
Yeah.

839
00:32:07,977 --> 00:32:12,803
They've just been outed by somebody And
lost their job Or maybe just talking about

840
00:32:12,803 --> 00:32:16,483
it, like, "I like the swinger lifestyle,"
whatever, whatever, but I'm not, like,

841
00:32:16,483 --> 00:32:18,013
and not even fully coming out with it.

842
00:32:18,193 --> 00:32:18,533
Yeah.

843
00:32:18,623 --> 00:32:20,763
And then just, like, discussing
it and then- Or if there's a

844
00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:22,153
post on their social media.

845
00:32:22,153 --> 00:32:22,183
Okay.

846
00:32:22,183 --> 00:32:22,673
I gotcha.

847
00:32:22,813 --> 00:32:23,643
Or, you know.

848
00:32:23,653 --> 00:32:24,023
That sucks.

849
00:32:24,023 --> 00:32:25,253
That's half those people.

850
00:32:25,263 --> 00:32:26,213
Yeah, man.

851
00:32:26,353 --> 00:32:27,703
That's, that's a lot.

852
00:32:27,753 --> 00:32:28,993
That's a lot of people.

853
00:32:29,143 --> 00:32:29,853
I know.

854
00:32:29,943 --> 00:32:32,923
I know, and that's because
that's a small survey.

855
00:32:33,233 --> 00:32:34,033
That's a… Yeah.

856
00:32:34,033 --> 00:32:35,033
We, we weren't polled.

857
00:32:35,533 --> 00:32:36,683
That sounds dirty, doesn't it?

858
00:32:37,353 --> 00:32:39,743
That sounds dirty, and that's 'cause
we're going to the club tonight.

859
00:32:39,783 --> 00:32:40,753
I don't wanna get polled.

860
00:32:41,043 --> 00:32:41,733
You're not.

861
00:32:42,063 --> 00:32:42,563
You are.

862
00:32:44,253 --> 00:32:46,293
Sorry, off topic, but yeah.

863
00:32:46,343 --> 00:32:50,963
I know a lot of people who have got
discriminated just for wearing, like, the

864
00:32:51,013 --> 00:32:53,613
LGBTQ pin, like, the little pride pin.

865
00:32:53,843 --> 00:32:54,213
Yeah.

866
00:32:54,233 --> 00:32:58,113
Yeah, like, I mean, a lot of people
just don't know how to accept

867
00:32:58,443 --> 00:33:01,573
that not everybody follows the
rules that you think you have.

868
00:33:01,573 --> 00:33:03,309
Like- Well, yeah, that-
You know what I mean?

869
00:33:03,309 --> 00:33:04,993
Like- So that's, uh… I
go back to entitlement.

870
00:33:05,003 --> 00:33:05,793
I feel like that's a- Oh.

871
00:33:06,333 --> 00:33:10,113
… an entitlement issue, uh, because there's
a lot of people out there who feel like

872
00:33:10,123 --> 00:33:14,763
they live the right life and everybody
should live the life that they live.

873
00:33:14,833 --> 00:33:15,273
Yes.

874
00:33:15,653 --> 00:33:20,733
And if they don't- Yes … it's
their job to tell these people, "You

875
00:33:20,743 --> 00:33:22,713
need to live the right life- Yeah

876
00:33:22,713 --> 00:33:24,053
that I live." Yeah.

877
00:33:24,333 --> 00:33:27,003
"Because you're wrong,
and I'm right." Yeah.

878
00:33:27,293 --> 00:33:30,423
It's, it's kinda mind-blowing when
you think about it, and especially

879
00:33:30,423 --> 00:33:32,983
if you've listened to the way
I just said it, because damn.

880
00:33:33,253 --> 00:33:37,293
You break it down in terms like
that, it sounds kinda fucked up.

881
00:33:37,363 --> 00:33:37,823
It is.

882
00:33:37,923 --> 00:33:38,483
You know?

883
00:33:38,483 --> 00:33:40,583
But that's realistically the way it is.

884
00:33:40,673 --> 00:33:45,543
You have these people who just feel
like, "This is my-" I mean- "… this

885
00:33:45,553 --> 00:33:49,423
is my way of life, and you should
lead it." Not to get into politics.

886
00:33:49,633 --> 00:33:51,033
That's exactly what the world is.

887
00:33:51,103 --> 00:33:52,233
Oh, we're not getting into politics.

888
00:33:52,243 --> 00:33:52,983
We're not getting into politics.

889
00:33:53,003 --> 00:33:53,683
We're not talking politics.

890
00:33:53,683 --> 00:33:56,203
But that's exactly what the
fucking world is, period.

891
00:33:56,503 --> 00:33:56,663
Okay.

892
00:33:56,663 --> 00:33:57,753
But we're not talking politics.

893
00:33:57,753 --> 00:33:58,523
Well, listen to this, baby.

894
00:33:58,523 --> 00:34:00,383
But yeah, feed me, Seymour.

895
00:34:00,673 --> 00:34:01,183
I'll feed you.

896
00:34:01,183 --> 00:34:01,583
You ready?

897
00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:02,063
All right.

898
00:34:02,323 --> 00:34:05,263
The Kinsey Institute- Oh, the Kinsey
Institute … they did a research, okay?

899
00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:07,763
You know, there was a movie
about the Kinsey Institute.

900
00:34:07,873 --> 00:34:08,053
No.

901
00:34:08,303 --> 00:34:09,413
Yeah, I'll show it to
you one of these days.

902
00:34:09,523 --> 00:34:09,783
Okay.

903
00:34:10,233 --> 00:34:14,183
The Kinsey Institute research found
that one in six Americans would like to

904
00:34:14,193 --> 00:34:19,273
be in a polyamorous relationship, and
o- and one in nine already have been.

905
00:34:19,493 --> 00:34:23,913
Adam would love, he would love to- You
know, I was just thinking about this too

906
00:34:23,923 --> 00:34:27,613
… he would love to be in a polyamorous
relationship, but he's not going to be.

907
00:34:27,623 --> 00:34:31,453
But I don't have a wife who
will work with me on this, guys.

908
00:34:31,663 --> 00:34:33,003
She won't work with me on this.

909
00:34:33,043 --> 00:34:33,673
I've tried.

910
00:34:34,013 --> 00:34:35,633
I did it for five years.

911
00:34:35,633 --> 00:34:38,583
I mean, I, I'm, I'm at this point
now in my life with, if you wanna

912
00:34:38,603 --> 00:34:41,653
have a girlfriend, that's fine,
but she needs to help pay bills.

913
00:34:41,783 --> 00:34:42,463
Interesting.

914
00:34:42,683 --> 00:34:44,173
She's gotta be able to pay bills.

915
00:34:44,233 --> 00:34:48,053
She is not sleeping in my bed, and you
are not sleeping with her in her house.

916
00:34:48,283 --> 00:34:49,683
She's still gotta pay bills, though.

917
00:34:50,203 --> 00:34:52,413
So basically, I'm never sleeping with her.

918
00:34:52,753 --> 00:34:55,713
I can have sex with her, but I'm
never actually sleeping with her.

919
00:34:56,043 --> 00:34:59,793
No cuddling, and she's gotta pay
all the bills or just a bill?

920
00:35:00,063 --> 00:35:00,633
A bill.

921
00:35:00,783 --> 00:35:01,303
A bill?

922
00:35:01,343 --> 00:35:01,683
Yeah.

923
00:35:01,883 --> 00:35:02,813
Your car bill.

924
00:35:03,659 --> 00:35:04,489
Oh, that's a large- That's a large-

925
00:35:07,309 --> 00:35:09,849
But let, yeah … I go back
and forth with this sometimes.

926
00:35:09,859 --> 00:35:14,559
So do I. I, I have been very turned
off lately, or at least previously,

927
00:35:14,749 --> 00:35:16,839
just by interacting with people.

928
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:20,919
Not really turned off, but I just,
at the thought of being social, a-

929
00:35:21,029 --> 00:35:22,729
and it's primarily because of stress.

930
00:35:22,729 --> 00:35:23,959
We've been very stressed lately.

931
00:35:24,269 --> 00:35:28,219
And so it's just kind of made
me go back into my shell.

932
00:35:28,349 --> 00:35:30,959
Before the podcast, I was
very, very introverted.

933
00:35:31,009 --> 00:35:33,449
I had major, major social anxiety.

934
00:35:33,449 --> 00:35:34,729
I didn't talk to people.

935
00:35:34,779 --> 00:35:38,059
And, uh, the podcast kind of forced
me out of my shell on that, plus

936
00:35:38,059 --> 00:35:39,359
a lot of different other things.

937
00:35:39,439 --> 00:35:41,799
2025 was confident Adam,
that's what happened.

938
00:35:42,139 --> 00:35:47,939
But stress brought me back to this, I
don't know, very introverted feeling

939
00:35:47,939 --> 00:35:53,059
person who was forcing their way through
being extroverted as a podcaster.

940
00:35:53,099 --> 00:35:56,519
And it, I, I, I feel like I'm
just starting to kind of, the

941
00:35:56,519 --> 00:35:59,989
groundhog's just starting to crawl
out of the h- the, the little hole.

942
00:36:00,069 --> 00:36:00,489
Uh-huh.

943
00:36:00,539 --> 00:36:02,999
And, you know, a- am I gonna
see six more weeks of winter?

944
00:36:03,089 --> 00:36:04,739
Probably, probably.

945
00:36:04,949 --> 00:36:08,719
You know, we're, like, we're going
out tonight, and I know that my

946
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:12,229
wife is going to make attempts
to go have fun and do her thing.

947
00:36:12,259 --> 00:36:14,819
And you know the part that
really sounds fun to me?

948
00:36:15,099 --> 00:36:16,969
When you're getting
Whataburger and heading home?

949
00:36:17,069 --> 00:36:22,879
No, actually- … is watching you
go do your thing and being able to

950
00:36:22,879 --> 00:36:27,579
sit on the couch by myself, being
left alone just to people watch.

951
00:36:27,659 --> 00:36:30,769
That still does not go into this one
in six Americans wanna be poly outcome.

952
00:36:30,789 --> 00:36:31,489
No, no, no.

953
00:36:31,489 --> 00:36:31,809
No, no, no.

954
00:36:31,809 --> 00:36:32,889
Oh, but I'm getting there.

955
00:36:32,919 --> 00:36:33,549
I'm getting there.

956
00:36:33,549 --> 00:36:34,079
Okay, okay, go.

957
00:36:34,099 --> 00:36:34,809
So I'm getting there.

958
00:36:34,829 --> 00:36:36,659
So I'm just explaining where I was.

959
00:36:36,739 --> 00:36:37,049
Okay.

960
00:36:37,059 --> 00:36:37,379
Right?

961
00:36:37,599 --> 00:36:40,639
'Cause that's, but this is where I'm
starting to cl- to climb back out of.

962
00:36:40,859 --> 00:36:44,009
I had this thought the other
day that, you know, I really

963
00:36:44,009 --> 00:36:45,609
wouldn't mind having a girlfriend.

964
00:36:45,859 --> 00:36:47,519
You wouldn't… What's the head shaking?

965
00:36:47,529 --> 00:36:48,429
You wouldn't mind.

966
00:36:48,549 --> 00:36:49,539
I would not mind.

967
00:36:49,559 --> 00:36:49,939
Okay.

968
00:36:50,279 --> 00:36:51,149
I would not mind.

969
00:36:51,319 --> 00:36:53,089
But I'm not saying I'm going to.

970
00:36:53,099 --> 00:36:53,419
Uh-huh.

971
00:36:53,489 --> 00:36:55,769
And I'm not saying I have anybody
in mind, because I see your face.

972
00:36:56,049 --> 00:36:58,049
There is nothing behind that.

973
00:36:58,209 --> 00:36:58,599
Uh-huh.

974
00:36:58,629 --> 00:37:00,199
It's just a conversation, guys.

975
00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:01,449
Just a conversation.

976
00:37:01,749 --> 00:37:03,639
I mean, I would like to
have a rich boyfriend.

977
00:37:04,229 --> 00:37:05,539
Do you see how I put rich in there?

978
00:37:05,819 --> 00:37:07,169
I would like to have a rich girlfriend.

979
00:37:07,819 --> 00:37:10,189
Rich in love.

980
00:37:10,339 --> 00:37:12,029
Um- No, you don't need to love me.

981
00:37:12,559 --> 00:37:13,189
You don't have to love me.

982
00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:13,709
I don't give a shit.

983
00:37:13,709 --> 00:37:14,629
Oh, my gosh.

984
00:37:14,989 --> 00:37:16,019
Long as you pay a bill.

985
00:37:16,019 --> 00:37:16,929
Long as you pay a bill.

986
00:37:17,279 --> 00:37:20,309
Goodness, that is, that, see,
that's transactional right there.

987
00:37:20,329 --> 00:37:20,369
Is it?

988
00:37:20,369 --> 00:37:23,589
But that's literally transactional,
like you go into a bank transaction.

989
00:37:24,393 --> 00:37:28,193
Not that they know So you're part of
the one in six Americans You know, yeah,

990
00:37:28,193 --> 00:37:33,223
kinda, kinda Yeah I think i- if… I
think I would've loved to have pursued

991
00:37:33,223 --> 00:37:38,083
it the right way with you Yes I would've
enjoyed that Yeah I, and the thought-

992
00:37:38,143 --> 00:37:42,933
You know- … is still there I- and my,
an- I don't have the mental capacity

993
00:37:42,973 --> 00:37:47,353
at this moment to Well, and we got a
lot going on Yeah Yeah Like, I like

994
00:37:47,373 --> 00:37:49,943
the swinging lifestyle because- Yeah

995
00:37:49,943 --> 00:37:51,163
it's not very consistent.

996
00:37:51,433 --> 00:37:57,153
I mean, it's my lifestyle 24/7, but it's
not consistent in I have to interact with

997
00:37:57,153 --> 00:38:02,393
people So that is a good point And I think
when you're poly, you're in a relationship

998
00:38:02,393 --> 00:38:04,643
You're in a relationship You have to,
like, I have to interact with you.

999
00:38:04,643 --> 00:38:05,893
I'm married to you Yeah.

1000
00:38:05,893 --> 00:38:09,543
Yeah, yeah Some days I don't
want to, but I have to You know?

1001
00:38:09,773 --> 00:38:14,793
So it's like the swinging, I'm a swinger,
but I don't swing every day But, but you

1002
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:17,913
know, that goes back to something that we
were talking about earlier in the show.

1003
00:38:18,013 --> 00:38:22,703
Because even with what you said
there, you're equating polyamory

1004
00:38:22,723 --> 00:38:24,543
with having a relationship.

1005
00:38:24,783 --> 00:38:25,453
Yes.

1006
00:38:25,573 --> 00:38:28,063
You can be polyamorous and
not be in a relationship.

1007
00:38:28,063 --> 00:38:29,593
I understand that, but still.

1008
00:38:29,683 --> 00:38:31,253
So- I am not poly.

1009
00:38:31,263 --> 00:38:32,183
No, I got that.

1010
00:38:32,213 --> 00:38:33,233
No, I think we all got that.

1011
00:38:33,243 --> 00:38:36,573
Like, I don't label- No,
no … myself as a polyamorous person.

1012
00:38:36,573 --> 00:38:37,093
Right, right, right.

1013
00:38:37,213 --> 00:38:39,093
You're not a polyamorous person.

1014
00:38:39,143 --> 00:38:39,903
I know.

1015
00:38:40,063 --> 00:38:41,853
That's why we're talking about this.

1016
00:38:41,903 --> 00:38:45,343
In your brain- Yeah … you're
a polyamorous person.

1017
00:38:45,613 --> 00:38:46,333
Not even there.

1018
00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:51,613
In- In my brain, there's a little gnome
picture of you that chases around my

1019
00:38:51,613 --> 00:38:55,253
little head brain and goes, "You're not
gonna be in a polyamorous relationship.

1020
00:38:55,483 --> 00:38:58,353
I'm your wife." So I'm pretty sure
we're gonna get a lot of comments.

1021
00:38:58,643 --> 00:38:58,973
Oh, my gosh.

1022
00:38:58,973 --> 00:39:00,823
"Priscilla's so, she's so
controlling." She… Yes.

1023
00:39:01,113 --> 00:39:02,243
Hey, but you know what, guys?

1024
00:39:02,563 --> 00:39:08,003
I have my wife's back on this one because
I love her and I am willing to- Like-

1025
00:39:08,003 --> 00:39:10,183
… agree to this … and he's waiting.

1026
00:39:10,183 --> 00:39:11,973
I mean, this is something
we've talked about.

1027
00:39:11,973 --> 00:39:15,233
This is like right now- Yeah … in
our life, this, it's not the time.

1028
00:39:15,313 --> 00:39:16,513
It, it fluctuates.

1029
00:39:16,593 --> 00:39:17,450
It's not the time to bring anybody in.

1030
00:39:17,450 --> 00:39:19,123
And this, and this
conversation, it fluctuates.

1031
00:39:19,133 --> 00:39:22,143
And this is a really good point
for couples out there who are

1032
00:39:22,143 --> 00:39:23,183
listening to this sort of thing.

1033
00:39:23,203 --> 00:39:23,443
Yeah.

1034
00:39:23,483 --> 00:39:25,223
Because they… I, you know,
I get this all the time.

1035
00:39:25,223 --> 00:39:28,183
I get this message that always says
something like, "You know, this is

1036
00:39:28,183 --> 00:39:33,473
something I really want to pursue, but
I don't know how to talk to my partner

1037
00:39:33,473 --> 00:39:36,953
about this because I really don't think
they would be on board for this." Shut up.

1038
00:39:37,223 --> 00:39:42,223
You know, it, it, it's a very difficult
conversation when you say you wanna be…

1039
00:39:42,383 --> 00:39:44,153
He just said he thought about it.

1040
00:39:44,173 --> 00:39:46,743
And now in my brain I'm
like, "What the fuck are you

1041
00:39:46,753 --> 00:39:48,003
thinking about that for?" Yeah.

1042
00:39:48,083 --> 00:39:48,423
See?

1043
00:39:48,483 --> 00:39:49,523
And, and, and it's hard.

1044
00:39:49,753 --> 00:39:50,373
And so- It's hard.

1045
00:39:50,813 --> 00:39:52,463
And it can get uncomfortable.

1046
00:39:52,473 --> 00:39:52,493
Yeah.

1047
00:39:52,873 --> 00:39:54,203
But you know what, man?

1048
00:39:54,383 --> 00:39:57,653
Sometimes you just go- It doesn't
mean I want to do this now.

1049
00:39:57,993 --> 00:40:02,403
Sometimes you just have to bite the
bullet and i- if she slaps you or if

1050
00:40:02,403 --> 00:40:04,223
he slaps you when you're doing it.

1051
00:40:04,223 --> 00:40:06,033
You know, guys, I'm 44.

1052
00:40:06,033 --> 00:40:08,053
I just turned 44 in August.

1053
00:40:08,263 --> 00:40:10,833
I'm 44 years old and I- Are you 44 or 45?

1054
00:40:10,833 --> 00:40:10,993
I'm 44.

1055
00:40:11,043 --> 00:40:13,133
44. Bite your tongue.

1056
00:40:13,663 --> 00:40:19,493
I am 44 years old and I have reached that
point where I have less fucks to give.

1057
00:40:19,793 --> 00:40:20,213
Same.

1058
00:40:20,253 --> 00:40:24,123
And- Yeah … in our relationship,
don't take that the wrong way

1059
00:40:24,123 --> 00:40:28,103
because everything- No … what
you think i- is very important

1060
00:40:28,103 --> 00:40:29,053
to me and what you feel- Yeah

1061
00:40:29,193 --> 00:40:31,453
is very important to me and our
relationship is very important to me.

1062
00:40:31,463 --> 00:40:31,793
Yeah.

1063
00:40:32,053 --> 00:40:35,953
But at the same time, I feel good
enough in our relationship, solid

1064
00:40:35,953 --> 00:40:39,613
enough in our relationship to be able
to tell you- Yeah … that yeah, I

1065
00:40:39,613 --> 00:40:42,763
have those feelings that I would like
to be- Yeah … poly at some point.

1066
00:40:42,763 --> 00:40:45,903
Hey, I have those feelings that I feel
like you should be poly sometimes.

1067
00:40:46,423 --> 00:40:48,743
Are you saying that I'm, are, is this-
Just- … are you threatening me?

1068
00:40:49,133 --> 00:40:50,363
It's like- Are you
threatening me right now?

1069
00:40:50,363 --> 00:40:50,903
Go.

1070
00:40:50,903 --> 00:40:51,443
Yeah.

1071
00:40:51,443 --> 00:40:52,953
Go find a girlfriend, motherfucker.

1072
00:40:52,953 --> 00:40:53,503
Bye-bye.

1073
00:40:53,593 --> 00:40:56,613
You come back, good luck
if your key fucking works.

1074
00:40:56,683 --> 00:40:58,683
Yeah, I saw that Beyonce video.

1075
00:40:58,693 --> 00:41:03,123
So- I know all about it … I
mean, it's- Hey, being poly is, is

1076
00:41:03,133 --> 00:41:05,393
wonderful for those who are poly.

1077
00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:08,183
Good for you, and I'm glad that
this is happening for you guys.

1078
00:41:08,383 --> 00:41:10,423
The Alvarez household is not poly.

1079
00:41:10,983 --> 00:41:14,613
The Alvarez household can keep
wishing it is poly, but it's

1080
00:41:14,613 --> 00:41:16,413
not gonna be poly anytime soon.

1081
00:41:16,813 --> 00:41:18,153
Good conversation, Boo Boo.

1082
00:41:18,293 --> 00:41:19,613
Yeah, this was a great conversation.

1083
00:41:19,863 --> 00:41:20,563
Thank you so much.

1084
00:41:20,573 --> 00:41:21,523
You got that off your chest.

1085
00:41:21,713 --> 00:41:22,013
Yeah.

1086
00:41:22,013 --> 00:41:22,193
How does that feel?

1087
00:41:22,193 --> 00:41:22,483
Wow.

1088
00:41:22,483 --> 00:41:24,263
We're, uh… You know what, guys?

1089
00:41:24,633 --> 00:41:25,513
I feel good about it.

1090
00:41:25,893 --> 00:41:28,623
Feel, feel good about having
that conversation- I'm

1091
00:41:28,623 --> 00:41:30,703
glad … with your spouse because
obviously this worked so well.

1092
00:41:30,703 --> 00:41:31,233
I'm glad.

1093
00:41:31,273 --> 00:41:31,673
That's right.

1094
00:41:31,673 --> 00:41:32,013
That's good.

1095
00:41:32,013 --> 00:41:33,053
I'm glad you got it off your chest.

1096
00:41:33,053 --> 00:41:33,193
It's okay.

1097
00:41:33,193 --> 00:41:33,403
Give me kisses.

1098
00:41:33,403 --> 00:41:33,543
That's good.

1099
00:41:33,543 --> 00:41:33,683
Goodness gracious.

1100
00:41:33,683 --> 00:41:33,893
Keep going, baby.

1101
00:41:33,893 --> 00:41:34,213
You know she scares the

1102
00:41:37,843 --> 00:41:38,543
hell out of me, guys.

1103
00:41:39,283 --> 00:41:41,133
And just remember that if
we're ever on Dateline.

1104
00:41:41,453 --> 00:41:42,903
We will never be on Dateline.

1105
00:41:42,903 --> 00:41:44,213
I'm so much smarter than that.

1106
00:41:44,933 --> 00:41:47,093
Geez, that's scary.

1107
00:41:47,093 --> 00:41:50,163
I didn't say, "That's Gary." I said,
"That's scary." It is very scary.

1108
00:41:50,283 --> 00:41:50,983
Very scary, Harry Carey.

1109
00:41:50,993 --> 00:41:51,333
I know.

1110
00:41:51,503 --> 00:41:51,823
Yeah.

1111
00:41:52,033 --> 00:41:52,183
Yeah.

1112
00:41:52,353 --> 00:41:53,393
Well… Okay.

1113
00:41:53,553 --> 00:41:55,443
Anyways, back on target.

1114
00:41:55,703 --> 00:41:59,383
What we were getting to before we
started talking about all that was-

1115
00:41:59,543 --> 00:42:02,833
in that whole, in that whole
survey- Mm-hmm … those studies

1116
00:42:02,833 --> 00:42:05,783
that they did, they found that
there was no single type of person.

1117
00:42:06,043 --> 00:42:06,343
Okay.

1118
00:42:06,343 --> 00:42:09,633
You know, it cut through religion,
it cut through race, it cut

1119
00:42:09,633 --> 00:42:13,203
through political party, through
geography, and through income.

1120
00:42:13,293 --> 00:42:16,463
Like, it, it, it had a solid field there.

1121
00:42:16,673 --> 00:42:16,803
Oh.

1122
00:42:16,803 --> 00:42:19,133
It, it wasn't just zoned in on one thing.

1123
00:42:19,143 --> 00:42:19,173
Okay.

1124
00:42:19,183 --> 00:42:21,713
"Oh, it's, it's people who
don't go to church." Right.

1125
00:42:21,723 --> 00:42:21,983
No.

1126
00:42:21,993 --> 00:42:26,403
This, this whole thing was, you know,
these, these non-monogamous people

1127
00:42:26,563 --> 00:42:28,853
were throughout this entire cut.

1128
00:42:29,023 --> 00:42:29,503
Wow.

1129
00:42:29,553 --> 00:42:29,963
Yeah.

1130
00:42:30,063 --> 00:42:31,433
I mean, that's still a lot of people.

1131
00:42:31,673 --> 00:42:32,583
Yeah, yeah.

1132
00:42:32,703 --> 00:42:37,933
You know, the 2024 Match Singles
in America Report found 31% of

1133
00:42:37,933 --> 00:42:43,513
singles have explored consensual
non-monogamy, yet only 49% still call

1134
00:42:43,513 --> 00:42:45,753
traditional monogamy their ideal.

1135
00:42:46,033 --> 00:42:47,213
That makes kinda sense.

1136
00:42:47,223 --> 00:42:47,903
Yeah, yeah.

1137
00:42:48,013 --> 00:42:48,403
Yeah.

1138
00:42:48,413 --> 00:42:48,993
Well, both can be true.

1139
00:42:49,043 --> 00:42:50,283
Both can be true, for sure.

1140
00:42:50,293 --> 00:42:55,171
Like, I mean, again, a lot of people
just don't like to- The exploration

1141
00:42:55,171 --> 00:43:00,621
of consensual non-monogamy is a
very scary area for some people.

1142
00:43:00,841 --> 00:43:01,131
Yeah.

1143
00:43:01,301 --> 00:43:06,461
Because as a woman, I'm speaking,
it, it feels… You sometimes you

1144
00:43:06,461 --> 00:43:09,791
feel like you're not worth it or
what i- what's wrong with you that

1145
00:43:09,791 --> 00:43:14,251
my husband or my spouse wants to
go and, and find another person?

1146
00:43:14,411 --> 00:43:16,911
So yeah, that could be a
little scary for people.

1147
00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:17,351
Yeah.

1148
00:43:17,351 --> 00:43:20,671
You know, it… Well, that revolves
around insecurities, you know?

1149
00:43:20,681 --> 00:43:21,071
For sure.

1150
00:43:21,071 --> 00:43:26,081
And that's, that's the hardest part
and when with any form of relationship,

1151
00:43:26,591 --> 00:43:27,491
uh, that you have out there.

1152
00:43:27,801 --> 00:43:31,541
Now, you know, one of the, the
big arguments- Okay … is when

1153
00:43:31,541 --> 00:43:33,341
it comes to these laws- Mm-hmm

1154
00:43:33,351 --> 00:43:35,771
that they're doing out in Seattle
and those other cities listed.

1155
00:43:35,811 --> 00:43:36,061
Mm-hmm.

1156
00:43:36,121 --> 00:43:42,161
There's a difference between orientation
and choice, and we hear this all the time.

1157
00:43:42,211 --> 00:43:45,551
You know, w- there are people out
there who, you know, they, they

1158
00:43:45,551 --> 00:43:49,451
grew up their lifestyle, they've
always been non-monogamous.

1159
00:43:49,541 --> 00:43:49,831
Okay.

1160
00:43:49,841 --> 00:43:50,521
Kinda like you and I.

1161
00:43:50,771 --> 00:43:51,111
Right.

1162
00:43:51,401 --> 00:43:55,611
I, I knew from very long ago
that I was non-monogamous.

1163
00:43:55,611 --> 00:43:57,371
I just didn't know that
there was a name for it.

1164
00:43:57,541 --> 00:43:57,831
Right.

1165
00:43:57,861 --> 00:43:59,811
I knew that… I thought
there was something wrong

1166
00:43:59,811 --> 00:44:01,651
with me a long, long time ago.

1167
00:44:01,661 --> 00:44:05,131
Mm. You, on the other hand,
you could be monogamous easily.

1168
00:44:05,211 --> 00:44:06,081
I could be monogamous.

1169
00:44:06,101 --> 00:44:08,041
I still s- And you pull towards that

1170
00:44:08,081 --> 00:44:12,071
we, we actually just yesterday
we were- Uh-huh … driving and

1171
00:44:12,071 --> 00:44:15,191
I was like, "Hey, so what is…"
Well, I asked you a question.

1172
00:44:15,191 --> 00:44:17,311
I said, "What does sluttiness
mean to you?" Yeah.

1173
00:44:17,461 --> 00:44:19,641
Like, how does someone express sluttiness?

1174
00:44:19,681 --> 00:44:23,821
Like, how, how should… How can,
how can a person or how can me

1175
00:44:23,971 --> 00:44:26,201
show you that I'm a slutty wife?

1176
00:44:26,351 --> 00:44:28,971
Like, what are those things
that you look at, right?

1177
00:44:28,971 --> 00:44:29,121
Yeah.

1178
00:44:29,121 --> 00:44:31,051
And you, you, you named some of them.

1179
00:44:31,171 --> 00:44:34,211
I said, "Well, are you always in the mood
for that?" And you're like, "Yeah, pretty

1180
00:44:34,211 --> 00:44:38,351
much." 'Cause in my mind I still have a
mon… I've been with you for 15 years.

1181
00:44:38,391 --> 00:44:38,641
Yeah.

1182
00:44:38,641 --> 00:44:41,781
I've always been
monogamous previous to you.

1183
00:44:41,901 --> 00:44:46,991
So that's, that's what, 30, 30
something years in my brain of

1184
00:44:46,991 --> 00:44:49,231
just thinking I'm monogamous.

1185
00:44:49,231 --> 00:44:49,271
Yeah.

1186
00:44:49,271 --> 00:44:52,341
And though I don't wanna s- I
don't wanna trigger jealousy.

1187
00:44:52,531 --> 00:44:52,871
Right.

1188
00:44:52,951 --> 00:44:54,201
I don't wanna trigger this.

1189
00:44:54,461 --> 00:44:56,421
Because things like that still trigger me.

1190
00:44:56,581 --> 00:44:58,111
And so- And it, it feels wrong.

1191
00:44:58,241 --> 00:44:58,611
Yeah.

1192
00:44:58,611 --> 00:44:59,901
So- Yeah … I don't know.

1193
00:45:00,211 --> 00:45:03,131
Um, and so sometimes it's, it's
very difficult for me to, to

1194
00:45:03,821 --> 00:45:05,791
be, in my brain, non-monogamous.

1195
00:45:05,801 --> 00:45:08,251
And see, that's the,
that's the argument there.

1196
00:45:08,391 --> 00:45:12,841
So in between the two of us, I'd be
the orientation, you'd be the choice.

1197
00:45:12,851 --> 00:45:13,241
Yeah.

1198
00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:15,921
I am non-monogamous by nature.

1199
00:45:15,971 --> 00:45:16,271
Right.

1200
00:45:16,331 --> 00:45:19,581
And was pretending to be
monogamous for so many years.

1201
00:45:19,631 --> 00:45:19,911
Yeah.

1202
00:45:19,971 --> 00:45:25,321
And you are monogamous by nature,
and it's your choice to do this.

1203
00:45:25,551 --> 00:45:28,671
So would- Yes … that law
cover both of us equally?

1204
00:45:28,971 --> 00:45:29,731
I think so.

1205
00:45:30,475 --> 00:45:30,755
Yeah?

1206
00:45:30,805 --> 00:45:31,535
I think so.

1207
00:45:31,615 --> 00:45:32,985
Because, I mean, why wouldn't it?

1208
00:45:33,195 --> 00:45:33,695
You know?

1209
00:45:33,815 --> 00:45:34,385
Why wouldn't it?

1210
00:45:34,385 --> 00:45:37,845
It's a, it's a choice, and
whether… It, I mean, it is an

1211
00:45:37,845 --> 00:45:42,205
orientation, and it is a choice,
and I think the two go hand-in-hand.

1212
00:45:42,385 --> 00:45:42,815
Yeah.

1213
00:45:42,995 --> 00:45:43,285
Yeah.

1214
00:45:43,285 --> 00:45:45,335
I mean, they go hand-in-hand in reality.

1215
00:45:45,535 --> 00:45:49,555
You know, I kinda wonder, though,
would, would a law like this change

1216
00:45:49,565 --> 00:45:53,315
hearts and minds throughout the,
the world, or even nationally?

1217
00:45:53,785 --> 00:45:58,975
Or do you think that, I don't know, doing
this… I mean, there's still a lot of

1218
00:45:58,985 --> 00:46:01,515
states that refuse, uh, gay marriage.

1219
00:46:01,525 --> 00:46:02,055
No.

1220
00:46:02,085 --> 00:46:02,655
Oh, yeah.

1221
00:46:02,925 --> 00:46:05,805
And y- you know, it- it's, it's one
of those things where it's like,

1222
00:46:05,995 --> 00:46:09,035
it, you remember seeing it when
the first one happened, and you,

1223
00:46:09,085 --> 00:46:11,965
they- Mm-hmm … saw it on TV, and
it was such a m- a beautiful thing.

1224
00:46:12,005 --> 00:46:12,925
And then they took it away.

1225
00:46:12,985 --> 00:46:14,155
And then they took it away.

1226
00:46:14,205 --> 00:46:14,899
And then they brought it back.

1227
00:46:14,899 --> 00:46:15,845
And then they brought it back.

1228
00:46:16,035 --> 00:46:20,625
And, and you know, it's- I feel like-
It's like it hasn't, it hasn't spread yet.

1229
00:46:20,635 --> 00:46:24,765
So it, it's like would this even
change hearts and minds, or would it

1230
00:46:24,765 --> 00:46:26,415
really just kinda piss people off?

1231
00:46:26,415 --> 00:46:29,615
I, I really feel like it
shouldn't even be a question.

1232
00:46:29,615 --> 00:46:29,775
Mm-hmm.

1233
00:46:29,785 --> 00:46:35,575
But as the world, as it is, again, I
hate to do this, but I'm gonna do it.

1234
00:46:35,615 --> 00:46:38,125
You can edit it out if you want
to, but this is what it is.

1235
00:46:38,165 --> 00:46:41,685
Everybody, all these law people,
all these people who put into

1236
00:46:41,685 --> 00:46:46,805
law certain things are going by a
fucking book, and what is that book?

1237
00:46:46,935 --> 00:46:47,515
It's the Bible.

1238
00:46:47,525 --> 00:46:47,555
Mm-hmm.

1239
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:50,865
The Bible says this, the Bible
says that, the Bible does

1240
00:46:50,865 --> 00:46:52,375
this, and you gotta do that.

1241
00:46:52,505 --> 00:46:53,115
No, guys.

1242
00:46:53,385 --> 00:46:54,755
That's not how the world works.

1243
00:46:54,785 --> 00:46:59,445
Like, if you get out of the, that
mentality, people are just people.

1244
00:46:59,545 --> 00:47:02,785
We, we're, we are our own,
we are our own objects.

1245
00:47:02,785 --> 00:47:04,185
Like, we could do whatever we want.

1246
00:47:04,405 --> 00:47:07,805
It's not, unfortunately, gonna
change the minds of anybody

1247
00:47:07,885 --> 00:47:09,415
until we start fighting more.

1248
00:47:09,939 --> 00:47:12,609
And there's a lot of people that
don't wanna fight There are a lot of

1249
00:47:12,619 --> 00:47:13,659
people that don't- They're exhausted

1250
00:47:13,659 --> 00:47:14,219
wanna fight.

1251
00:47:14,259 --> 00:47:14,819
Yeah, yeah.

1252
00:47:14,819 --> 00:47:15,419
They're exhausted.

1253
00:47:15,419 --> 00:47:16,669
You know, it, it's, it's hard.

1254
00:47:16,679 --> 00:47:16,699
Yeah.

1255
00:47:16,709 --> 00:47:19,189
It's hard to fight when
you've got- I- … opposition.

1256
00:47:19,189 --> 00:47:19,539
Yeah.

1257
00:47:19,539 --> 00:47:22,459
And I feel like if we keep talking
about it, and there's places to

1258
00:47:22,459 --> 00:47:24,499
talk about it, like Beyond Monogamy.

1259
00:47:25,079 --> 00:47:25,249
Yeah.

1260
00:47:25,419 --> 00:47:26,399
With Adam and Pris.

1261
00:47:26,469 --> 00:47:27,049
That's right.

1262
00:47:27,129 --> 00:47:30,749
I feel like if we keep discussing
things like this, and we keep bringing

1263
00:47:30,749 --> 00:47:36,339
it up to the forefront, there is a
chance for more places to change it.

1264
00:47:36,599 --> 00:47:39,779
Well, you know, that's really the
number one reason that we have

1265
00:47:39,779 --> 00:47:45,199
this show, is to normalize these
conversations as best as we can.

1266
00:47:45,209 --> 00:47:45,239
Mm-hmm.

1267
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:50,419
And, and, uh, we're not just talking about
normalizing polyamorous conversations.

1268
00:47:50,669 --> 00:47:55,379
We're talking about normalizing sexual
conversations, talking about your kinks,

1269
00:47:55,409 --> 00:47:57,859
being able to discuss things openly.

1270
00:47:57,869 --> 00:47:57,889
Mm-hmm.

1271
00:47:58,069 --> 00:48:02,649
I'm not talking about getting into details
on public transportation about- Yeah

1272
00:48:02,649 --> 00:48:04,259
… how you're fucking somebody in the ass.

1273
00:48:04,289 --> 00:48:10,149
I'm talking about being able to be
yourself and have those normalized

1274
00:48:10,149 --> 00:48:12,809
conversations that me and my wife have.

1275
00:48:12,859 --> 00:48:13,939
I think you- You know?

1276
00:48:13,969 --> 00:48:15,619
I mean, it, you should feel okay.

1277
00:48:15,689 --> 00:48:18,319
That's exactly ex- exactly what you said.

1278
00:48:18,539 --> 00:48:18,859
Yeah.

1279
00:48:18,889 --> 00:48:19,219
Yeah.

1280
00:48:19,379 --> 00:48:20,509
You should feel okay.

1281
00:48:20,509 --> 00:48:21,229
You should feel okay.

1282
00:48:21,229 --> 00:48:23,079
Being able to say the thing.

1283
00:48:23,399 --> 00:48:26,729
It shouldn't just be- Without judgment
… it shouldn't just be paperwork.

1284
00:48:26,879 --> 00:48:26,899
Yeah.

1285
00:48:26,909 --> 00:48:28,469
It should be everything.

1286
00:48:28,509 --> 00:48:29,249
Everything.

1287
00:48:29,249 --> 00:48:32,469
Like, you should, you should be able
to live the life that you wanna live.

1288
00:48:32,549 --> 00:48:35,589
And it is a, it's, it's a fight, guys.

1289
00:48:35,599 --> 00:48:36,369
Like, I get it.

1290
00:48:36,389 --> 00:48:37,269
It's exhausting.

1291
00:48:37,269 --> 00:48:41,939
But I feel like the more we do it, and the
more we get in front of people, it might

1292
00:48:41,939 --> 00:48:43,859
change hearts and it might change minds.

1293
00:48:43,929 --> 00:48:48,939
Well, you know, a member of Seattle's
LGBTQ Commission said, "This is really

1294
00:48:48,939 --> 00:48:53,809
about the law catching up with how
people actually live in this community."

1295
00:48:54,059 --> 00:48:54,649
Amen.

1296
00:48:54,759 --> 00:48:59,401
Now, with that, you know, I was thinking
about something Because like I said,

1297
00:48:59,401 --> 00:49:04,491
I, I, I follow a lot of polyamory-
Yes … and polyamorous people on TikTok.

1298
00:49:04,661 --> 00:49:04,861
Yes.

1299
00:49:05,171 --> 00:49:05,391
Yeah.

1300
00:49:05,451 --> 00:49:09,931
And, uh- Do you just sit there and gaze
and be like… I'm like, "The grass

1301
00:49:09,931 --> 00:49:12,291
is always greener." Yes, it is green.

1302
00:49:12,291 --> 00:49:13,211
You go ahead and try that.

1303
00:49:13,211 --> 00:49:14,281
Baby, stop it.

1304
00:49:14,631 --> 00:49:15,451
Geez, man.

1305
00:49:15,971 --> 00:49:18,411
I'm not getting laid after
this, I'm telling you.

1306
00:49:18,411 --> 00:49:20,951
But, you know, I, I, I follow a
lot of different people on there.

1307
00:49:20,951 --> 00:49:20,971
Yeah.

1308
00:49:20,971 --> 00:49:24,521
And there's one in particular that,
that I always see pop up on my feed.

1309
00:49:24,521 --> 00:49:25,551
They're, they're a throuple.

1310
00:49:25,941 --> 00:49:29,531
Now, this particular throuple,
it's a, it's a couple initially

1311
00:49:29,741 --> 00:49:31,231
that they're, they're married.

1312
00:49:31,741 --> 00:49:32,821
They're, they're man and wife.

1313
00:49:32,911 --> 00:49:36,601
They both came to the relationship
with kids and had kids together.

1314
00:49:36,681 --> 00:49:38,601
She realized she was bisexual.

1315
00:49:38,741 --> 00:49:42,601
They decided to, you
know, pursue or whatever.

1316
00:49:42,601 --> 00:49:44,041
I, I don't know the exact story on that.

1317
00:49:44,041 --> 00:49:50,081
But they end up finding this woman, and
they end up pursuing a relationship with

1318
00:49:50,081 --> 00:49:51,871
this woman, and it became a throuple.

1319
00:49:51,891 --> 00:49:54,051
Now, they've been a
throuple for four years.

1320
00:49:54,311 --> 00:49:58,101
Now, this woman that they're with
also has kids, and they're… They've

1321
00:49:58,101 --> 00:50:02,531
been doing it successfully, the three
of them, for about four years now.

1322
00:50:02,771 --> 00:50:03,161
Wow.

1323
00:50:03,691 --> 00:50:07,991
And I… It, it's fascinating to me
because, you know, when we think of

1324
00:50:07,991 --> 00:50:11,551
family, we think of you and I, our kids.

1325
00:50:11,951 --> 00:50:11,971
Mm-hmm.

1326
00:50:11,981 --> 00:50:12,941
You know, that's our family.

1327
00:50:13,071 --> 00:50:13,281
Right.

1328
00:50:13,881 --> 00:50:16,021
We have friends that we consider family.

1329
00:50:16,031 --> 00:50:16,331
Oh, yeah.

1330
00:50:16,331 --> 00:50:17,251
But that's our family.

1331
00:50:17,391 --> 00:50:17,721
Yes.

1332
00:50:17,781 --> 00:50:23,189
In a situation like that- Mm-hmm … you
have to consider- They're all family

1333
00:50:23,199 --> 00:50:27,339
They're all family And you know, what,
like, what, what is- Well- What is

1334
00:50:27,339 --> 00:50:28,599
family- We have always- … to you?

1335
00:50:28,609 --> 00:50:33,009
You and I have always said that
people you bring into your home,

1336
00:50:33,029 --> 00:50:33,919
people that you bring in…

1337
00:50:33,959 --> 00:50:37,639
We've always had friends- Yeah … that
we have brought into our lives,

1338
00:50:37,659 --> 00:50:40,019
and we consider them as family.

1339
00:50:40,099 --> 00:50:40,339
Yeah.

1340
00:50:40,549 --> 00:50:43,829
We have family that we
consider not family.

1341
00:50:44,339 --> 00:50:44,579
True.

1342
00:50:44,669 --> 00:50:46,809
So it's not- Blood is not always
thicker … it's, it's not always

1343
00:50:46,819 --> 00:50:51,279
blood, blood relation because, I
mean, we have a lot of friends.

1344
00:50:51,299 --> 00:50:54,169
We don't talk to anybody in
our family, and the people that

1345
00:50:54,169 --> 00:50:58,119
we do have are considered our
family, and they're all friends.

1346
00:50:58,119 --> 00:51:01,799
So especially, I mean, like
us, we're a blended family.

1347
00:51:01,829 --> 00:51:02,349
Yeah, we are.

1348
00:51:02,459 --> 00:51:07,589
You know, our children do not call each
other my stepbrother- Mm … my stepdad.

1349
00:51:08,189 --> 00:51:08,829
We're just family.

1350
00:51:08,839 --> 00:51:13,259
You know, if they're referring to us
outside of the house, I don't… I, I

1351
00:51:13,309 --> 00:51:17,249
mean, we've taught them, you know, you do
what you want, but we've never done that.

1352
00:51:17,249 --> 00:51:21,199
We've never been like, "They're your
stepsister. They're your stepbrother." But

1353
00:51:21,229 --> 00:51:23,569
Adam and I are also from blended families.

1354
00:51:23,569 --> 00:51:23,839
Yeah.

1355
00:51:24,089 --> 00:51:24,369
Yeah.

1356
00:51:24,439 --> 00:51:25,989
So you were raised the same way.

1357
00:51:26,579 --> 00:51:26,909
Yeah.

1358
00:51:26,949 --> 00:51:29,389
You didn't call your- No … sisters
your half-sisters, you know?

1359
00:51:29,389 --> 00:51:30,349
No, they were my sisters.

1360
00:51:30,349 --> 00:51:30,359
Yeah.

1361
00:51:30,359 --> 00:51:31,819
Yeah Or your stepsisters.

1362
00:51:31,889 --> 00:51:32,199
Right.

1363
00:51:32,199 --> 00:51:34,379
And I did not do this, and I
didn't do the same thing either.

1364
00:51:34,399 --> 00:51:39,559
So it is, um, it's, it's who you bring
into your home and who loves you and

1365
00:51:39,559 --> 00:51:41,829
who you love is, is your family, so.

1366
00:51:41,839 --> 00:51:42,269
Yeah.

1367
00:51:42,289 --> 00:51:42,599
Yeah.

1368
00:51:42,599 --> 00:51:46,839
You know, that's, that's the biggest
thing, is being able to have the

1369
00:51:46,839 --> 00:51:49,809
freedom to say who your family is.

1370
00:51:49,819 --> 00:51:49,849
Yes.

1371
00:51:49,849 --> 00:51:53,929
Now, I, I think, uh, the problem
with a lot of, of the way we live is

1372
00:51:53,939 --> 00:51:58,479
that people don't feel comfortable
enough to be their true selves- Mm-hmm

1373
00:51:58,509 --> 00:51:59,999
because of discrimination.

1374
00:52:00,009 --> 00:52:00,049
Mm-hmm.

1375
00:52:00,059 --> 00:52:05,399
And the fact that we have to make laws to,
to make that better is an uphill battle.

1376
00:52:05,429 --> 00:52:08,399
Mm. But I think it's one
that's worth winning.

1377
00:52:08,469 --> 00:52:09,309
I think so.

1378
00:52:09,309 --> 00:52:10,919
And I'm hopeful that
it's going to continue.

1379
00:52:11,009 --> 00:52:11,979
I think so, too.

1380
00:52:11,979 --> 00:52:12,529
I love that.

1381
00:52:12,529 --> 00:52:15,619
You know what stands out to me, is
that all this comes down to one thing.

1382
00:52:15,679 --> 00:52:19,149
People just want to love honestly and
not lose their jobs or homes for it.

1383
00:52:19,469 --> 00:52:20,379
Yeah, exactly.

1384
00:52:20,399 --> 00:52:24,639
Uh, whether you're poly, swinging,
or somewhere in between, everyone

1385
00:52:24,639 --> 00:52:27,509
deserves to live openly without fear.

1386
00:52:27,689 --> 00:52:31,909
And now we know a city can
say that out loud in law.

1387
00:52:32,219 --> 00:52:34,699
So let's see who follows Seattle next.

1388
00:52:34,699 --> 00:52:35,269
I'm curious.

1389
00:52:35,549 --> 00:52:35,829
Oh, man.

1390
00:52:35,829 --> 00:52:36,679
That would be so nice.

1391
00:52:36,689 --> 00:52:37,169
Yeah.

1392
00:52:37,209 --> 00:52:37,539
Yeah.

1393
00:52:37,559 --> 00:52:37,779
So nice.

1394
00:52:37,799 --> 00:52:42,759
Now, before we go, if you've loved this
episode, please like, subscribe, and share

1395
00:52:42,759 --> 00:52:47,723
it It's the number one way that new people
will find us And we love your reviews.

1396
00:52:47,893 --> 00:52:50,973
So take a minute to leave us
a review on Apple Podcasts

1397
00:52:50,993 --> 00:52:52,513
or wherever you're listening.

1398
00:52:52,673 --> 00:52:54,563
It helps more than you
know, and we read them.

1399
00:52:54,823 --> 00:52:55,573
Yeah, we do.

1400
00:52:55,733 --> 00:52:58,383
Everything we do lives
at beyond-monogamy.com.

1401
00:52:58,383 --> 00:53:03,023
Our episodes, our blogs, our merch, and
our events tab, which shows everything

1402
00:53:03,023 --> 00:53:07,893
w- that we have coming up, including
our Swinger 101 workshop in Austin

1403
00:53:07,893 --> 00:53:10,093
at Forbidden Fruit on November 15th.

1404
00:53:10,093 --> 00:53:11,563
So- That is gonna be so much fun.

1405
00:53:11,613 --> 00:53:12,483
That is gonna be fun.

1406
00:53:12,483 --> 00:53:14,133
So you be sure and check that out.

1407
00:53:14,133 --> 00:53:17,593
If you're interested and you're in
the area, definitely come and see us.

1408
00:53:17,613 --> 00:53:18,583
Come hang out with us.

1409
00:53:18,643 --> 00:53:20,013
An hour with Pris and Adam.

1410
00:53:20,053 --> 00:53:20,623
My goodness.

1411
00:53:20,783 --> 00:53:21,003
Yes.

1412
00:53:21,013 --> 00:53:23,183
And that's in person, guys.

1413
00:53:23,233 --> 00:53:24,033
It is in person.

1414
00:53:24,033 --> 00:53:24,643
It is, yeah.

1415
00:53:24,963 --> 00:53:28,663
You can also use our 100% anonymous
confessional to send us your thoughts

1416
00:53:28,693 --> 00:53:32,303
on the lifestyle, ENM, kink, the show,
or anything else that's on your mind.

1417
00:53:32,733 --> 00:53:33,013
Yeah.

1418
00:53:33,013 --> 00:53:36,973
And you can also catch us on
fullswapradio.com every Thursday

1419
00:53:36,973 --> 00:53:39,343
at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central.

1420
00:53:39,343 --> 00:53:40,143
You know where to find us.

1421
00:53:40,333 --> 00:53:44,104
And mark your calendars for Krazy
Winter Nights in Kansas City.

1422
00:53:44,124 --> 00:53:44,894
Yeah.

1423
00:53:44,924 --> 00:53:48,534
February 19th through 20- ooh, it's
February 19th through the 21st.

1424
00:53:48,584 --> 00:53:50,104
We're gonna be there a long time, huh?

1425
00:53:50,124 --> 00:53:51,024
We're gonna be there a bit.

1426
00:53:51,064 --> 00:53:51,944
That's gonna be fun.

1427
00:53:51,944 --> 00:53:58,984
You can use code BEYOMONO, that's
B-E-Y-O-M-O-N-O, at krazykasbh.com.

1428
00:53:59,114 --> 00:54:00,724
That's right, and you should
be able to see that right

1429
00:54:00,764 --> 00:54:02,034
here- … 'cause I have it pop up.

1430
00:54:02,074 --> 00:54:02,604
Okay.

1431
00:54:02,704 --> 00:54:02,954
Yeah.

1432
00:54:02,954 --> 00:54:03,204
Oh, you do?

1433
00:54:03,354 --> 00:54:03,774
I do.

1434
00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:04,384
You're so cool.

1435
00:54:04,414 --> 00:54:04,904
I know.

1436
00:54:04,954 --> 00:54:07,664
And thanks to our friends at
3Fun for supporting the show.

1437
00:54:07,704 --> 00:54:14,114
Use code TK11932 if you wanna meet
like-minded people in the lifestyle.

1438
00:54:14,114 --> 00:54:15,614
Boy, that was a, that was a lot.

1439
00:54:15,784 --> 00:54:15,934
Yeah.

1440
00:54:16,004 --> 00:54:16,614
That was a lot.

1441
00:54:16,914 --> 00:54:20,754
And if you're a swinger or an ENM
couple in the Austin area, check out

1442
00:54:20,814 --> 00:54:25,154
SDC with our discount code 38236.

1443
00:54:25,334 --> 00:54:26,894
That's all gonna be in the
show notes, by the way.

1444
00:54:27,014 --> 00:54:29,534
And with that, as
always, we love you guys.

1445
00:54:29,564 --> 00:54:31,804
We thank you all for joining us,
and we hope that you're gonna

1446
00:54:31,804 --> 00:54:33,084
join us for another episode.

1447
00:54:33,364 --> 00:54:35,024
We will see you guys next week.

1448
00:54:35,414 --> 00:54:35,804
Bye.

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