Seattle Makes Polyamory a Protected Class: ENM Under the Law

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All right, y'all.

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Before we dive in, a quick
heads-up This show is raw, real,

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and definitely not rated PG.

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We're talking about adult themes,
sexual content, and the kinda stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kids.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice, and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear,
we are not licensed therapists,

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counselors, or sex couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches.

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Not sex couches.

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We're just a couple of people sharing
our lives, experiences, and sexy

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adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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Hello and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today we are talking about
something very, very different,

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something that just made history.

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This past Tuesday, the Seattle
City Council voted unanimously to

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extend discrimination protections to
people in polyamorous relationships.

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Ooh.

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Yeah, that's right.

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Unanimously.

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No fight, no filibuster.

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So today we're asking the big question,
should polyamory be a protected class?

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Is it who you are or who you love?

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And what does it mean for all of us living
this lifestyle out here in the real world?

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Because it- obviously they
wouldn't just be talking polyamory.

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They would be talking about ethical
non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy.

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And frankly, guys, swinging
is in that umbrella.

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Before we dive in, if you're enjoying
the show, do us a huge favor.

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Hit that button, you know, the subscribe
button, so you never miss an episode,

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and share this with a friend who's
curious or even one who's judgy.

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Ooh.

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Sharing is how we grow, so grab
your cafecito and let's get into it.

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Yeah, that's right.

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So I felt like this was a
relevant topic to talk about.

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We have a lot of listeners
who are polyamorous.

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Yeah.

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We have a lot of listeners
who are swingers.

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We have a lot of listeners
who are in the kink community.

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We have a lot of listeners who
are just ethically, consensually

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non-monogamous, period.

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Yeah.

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And, uh, I felt like this- So- … was
a big, big thing that passed

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through the news I have… Yeah.

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I have a lot of, I have a
lot of questions, or maybe

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I just have one question.

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Hit it

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So you said polyamory.

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Yeah.

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Now, there's a lot of
polyamorous relationships, and

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some of them are, what is it?

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The, the, the three people, the throuples.

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Sometimes they're throuples and- There's
throuples, yeah … and stuff like that.

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Yeah, yeah.

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What exactly are they…
What's the big deal?

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What's, what's, what exactly is
the whole, like, okay, so you're

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polyamory, it's just a relationship.

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What's the big deal?

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Like, what, what- What's the big deal?

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What is it?

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You know, that's, that, that is a really,
really good question, 'cause a lot of

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people from the outside are asking this.

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Okay.

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But let me tell you what the big deal is.

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Okay.

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Now, I don't, I don't
know if you remember this.

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This, it has been quite a while.

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It's been over a year, but we
had, we had a guest on the show

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once by the name of Jonathan Lane.

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He was an ethical non-monogamy-
Yes … uh, he was a lawyer.

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A lawyer.

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But he was also ethically
non-monogamous- Yeah … in the

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kink world, et cetera, et cetera.

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And one of the questions that I had
asked him was, uh, you know, are…

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You know, how, how can people who are
afraid, they, they stay discreet, they're

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afraid to come out, they're afraid to
be open with their relationships or how

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they live their life on account of how
they will be treated if it gets found

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out by their work, their bosses, if
they go to, if, if they go to- Oh, okay

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to custody battle at
courts, things like that.

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There's a lot of people who keep
their relationships secret, who keep

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everything that they do outside of
their work life very, very secret- Okay.

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I mean- … on account of that.

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I understand that Um, so what happens when
you're at work and somebody in a higher

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position decides they don't like you?

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Maybe they don't like
the color of your skin.

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Maybe they don't care for
the fact that you're a woman.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, you know, it, it doesn't really
matter in those situations because

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those are protected classes.

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Correct.

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So if they discriminate you on that,
well, you can take them to court.

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Yes.

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'Cause that is very illegal.

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Yes.

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But one thing that we realized was
ethical non-monogamy and the people

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who live it are not a protected class.

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Okay.

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And you can be judged at
work if it gets found out.

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There have been a lot of people in our
community- Yes … who have been outed

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and have lost their jobs because of this.

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Mm-hmm.

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Uh, so th- this to me is a very big deal,
that we're finally starting to recognize

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ethical non-monogamy as a protected class.

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I mean, it is.

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It is, it is a big deal.

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I was just curious 'cause I was
like, well, I mean, does it matter

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what relationship you're in and
what kind of lifestyle you lead?

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You know, realistically, it shouldn't.

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It shouldn't.

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In a perfect world.

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It's… A lot of people
like to keep it secret.

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Yeah.

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And, and that's fine, but like for
me, I don't, I don't keep it secret.

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Now, I don't talk about it to a lot
of, to certain people just because

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I don't wanna have that argument of,
"It's none of your business." Yeah.

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Just it, it is what it
is, and stay in your lane.

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But I can imagine the people like
that live in just the LGBTQ community-

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Yeah … and, and have these type of
relationships, um, and maybe aren't

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like to fight the fight, I guess.

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Yeah.

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So to have it, I mean, that's
kind of, that's kind of big.

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That, that's big news.

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And you know what's funny is with the
world today and every breaking news that

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happens- Right … every couple of hours,
this obviously wasn't really in mainstream

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media's eyes- Yeah … that much.

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I think you shared it with me.

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Yeah.

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And that was it.

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It, it's kind of a big deal though.

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Yeah.

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So just a few details.

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The legislation sponsored by council
member Alexis Mercedes Rinck expands

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Seattle's legal definition of sexual
orientation beyond heterosexual Beyond

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bisexual and homosexual to include
polyamory, pansexuality, and asexuality.

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Wow.

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Those are protected classes.

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It also adds a clause specifically about
consensual non-monogamous relationships.

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Now, like I said, does
that include swingers?

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I mean.

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Now, the article didn't say.

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I, I would think so because non-monogamous
relationships, it's, it's a big umbrella.

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Maybe they didn't specifically
say that because I think…

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So I think polyamory, and I mean, and you
can correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel

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like polyamory is a relationship status.

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Yeah.

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As opposed to swinger
is a lifestyle status.

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Yeah.

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Like, we swing.

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We're swingers, but that's
not our relationship status.

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We are a married couple
who plays with others.

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Well, I don't know.

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I mean- I don't know.

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I mean, it could, it… Because
there's a lot of gray area.

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Well, that's what I'm saying.

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Like, it, I guess- That's
the hard part about it.

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There's a lot of gray area.

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I guess, I guess it depends.

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Because we're an open relationship.

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Yeah.

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So we're married, and our relationship
is our primary relationship, but we also

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hold a lot of other relationships with
others and- But they're just friends

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just as friends, but at one point-
That's what I'm saying … one

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of them wasn't a friend.

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But that's what I'm saying.

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You know, like.

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Like, they were friends,
so that's a different kind.

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I think that's a different category.

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Yeah, but we're not, we're not
s- we're, we're not holding

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our feet to the fire on that.

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Like, if something happens
and you decide you wanna date

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somebody, you have that ability.

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Yeah.

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So to just say, well, they're just
friends, that's not really accurate

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because we're, we're going with the flow.

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So you're saying that a swinger
is not, it's not… A s- being

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a swinger is not a lifestyle.

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I think.

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It's, it's more.

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I honestly think that being- It's
more a relationship … ethically

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non-monogamous is a lifestyle.

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I, I mean, yeah.

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Because think about- But there's
so many categories under there.

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Yeah, yeah.

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But what I'm saying is, you
know, we refer to being a

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swinger as the lifestyle, right?

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Because that's just what we all do.

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Right.

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But what I'm, what I'm saying is,
is that I feel like all of ethical

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non-monogamy- is a lifestyle.

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Like, it is- Well, that's what I'm saying.

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It's a lifestyle It's a whole lifestyle
in, in that- But it's not a relationship

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… it's, it's, so with poly you can have many
relationships, but that is your lifestyle,

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just like monogamy is their lifestyle.

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Okay.

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You know what I'm saying?

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Yeah, yeah.

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So polyamory, you can be polyamorous
and not be in a relationship.

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Does that mean you're not polyamorous?

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I mean- You know what I'm saying?

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Yes.

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Like, there's people who are-
That's exactly what it means.

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I think that if you're polyamorous
and you have a relat- No, I'm not-

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No, if you're not in a relationship
If you're not in a relationship,

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you can still call yourself poly.

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That's what I'm saying.

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But that's what- That's a lifestyle.

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That's… No.

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I see, I see it as a relationship.

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It's not a relationship- It's like,
it's like- … if you're not in a

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relationship … it's like we're
married, we're a married couple, right?

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So we're married in our relationship,
but we're swingers as our lifestyle.

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Kind of saying, like, I'm a surfer,
but- But see, that's very black and

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white, man … I, it's only when I'm,
but it's only when I'm acting on it.

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It's not, it's not that black and white.

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No, I understand what you mean.

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So, I mean, you're- I get that
… you're, uh, you're, you're putting

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it i- in very black and white terms.

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Like, this is a box, and we're
gonna put everything in this box.

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Yeah.

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This is very fluid.

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This is, this has got a lot of gray areas.

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This is… If we're talking
about ourselves in particular.

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Yeah.

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There is… You know, we're not
labeling ourselves as polyamorous.

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We are swingers first and
foremost, but we have also talked

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very openly on the show- Yeah

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that we would pursue other
things if we had opportunities

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and the o- and it was organic.

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Right.

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Now, in that situation, we
would go from swingers to

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something completely different.

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To poly.

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Right.

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That's what I'm saying.

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But we would still be swingers.

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Yeah.

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Well, yeah.

241
00:09:25,108 --> 00:09:27,008
But see, that's- But you see how
there's two different- But yeah

242
00:09:27,008 --> 00:09:29,528
two different things … but you
don't become poly when you go into

243
00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:30,998
a relationship with somebody else.

244
00:09:31,268 --> 00:09:32,378
Poly is a state of mind.

245
00:09:32,728 --> 00:09:35,108
Polyamory is how you lead your life.

246
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:35,761
See, I don't think so.

247
00:09:35,761 --> 00:09:37,416
You don't have to be in a
relationship to be poly.

248
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:40,758
I don't… I mean, why would they make
it a big deal if it was, it… Of course.

249
00:09:40,758 --> 00:09:42,478
It's, it's how you live your life.

250
00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:45,868
So- It's how you live your life
… it's like I'm a bisexual, right?

251
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,858
But that's, that's my title.

252
00:09:47,868 --> 00:09:48,748
That's what I go by.

253
00:09:48,748 --> 00:09:49,988
I'm a bisexual woman.

254
00:09:49,988 --> 00:09:50,228
Yeah.

255
00:09:50,478 --> 00:09:50,818
Okay?

256
00:09:50,988 --> 00:09:53,688
And I want you to notice
that I'm a bisexual woman.

257
00:09:53,728 --> 00:09:53,908
Yeah.

258
00:09:54,238 --> 00:09:57,138
But I'm also a swinger,
and I'm also married.

259
00:09:57,198 --> 00:09:57,408
Mm-hmm.

260
00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:00,008
So those are all different things.

261
00:10:00,218 --> 00:10:00,458
Labels.

262
00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:01,788
I swing as a lifestyle.

263
00:10:01,828 --> 00:10:02,118
Yeah.

264
00:10:02,178 --> 00:10:04,278
Bisexuality is my label.

265
00:10:04,288 --> 00:10:04,318
Mm-hmm.

266
00:10:04,728 --> 00:10:06,128
And I'm married is my label.

267
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,668
But those are all labels that you
have now put yourself into a box.

268
00:10:09,878 --> 00:10:13,218
You identify as these specific-
Well, yeah … And if you decide

269
00:10:13,228 --> 00:10:15,532
to change that- Where's the box?

270
00:10:15,602 --> 00:10:16,372
No more box.

271
00:10:16,412 --> 00:10:17,242
No more box.

272
00:10:17,252 --> 00:10:17,992
That's my point.

273
00:10:18,262 --> 00:10:19,732
That's ethical non-monogamy.

274
00:10:19,872 --> 00:10:23,322
Ethical non-monogamy, you
can fit yourself in that box.

275
00:10:23,352 --> 00:10:23,462
Yeah.

276
00:10:23,462 --> 00:10:24,922
But there's so many places to go.

277
00:10:24,962 --> 00:10:30,162
But your question was, is swinger going,
is swinger under the category of, of this?

278
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,592
Like, are they gonna bring swinging?

279
00:10:31,592 --> 00:10:31,602
Right.

280
00:10:31,602 --> 00:10:35,632
Is, is swinging, would, would
swinging be considered a part of this?

281
00:10:35,652 --> 00:10:38,482
And I don't think- Now that because
they're calling it ethical non-monogamy.

282
00:10:38,482 --> 00:10:40,502
So you're saying swinging is
not ethically non-monogamous?

283
00:10:40,502 --> 00:10:44,892
I think… No, I said, I, I think, like,
ethical non-monogamy is one category that

284
00:10:44,902 --> 00:10:48,712
has 1,000- Yeah … little labels inside.

285
00:10:48,722 --> 00:10:48,942
Right.

286
00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:51,932
So I wouldn't specifically ask
are they gonna bring, are they,

287
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:52,992
swingers gonna be in there?

288
00:10:53,022 --> 00:10:55,502
Well, ethical non-monogamy-
Well, so I agree

289
00:10:55,502 --> 00:10:55,812
right?

290
00:10:55,852 --> 00:10:57,762
It's, it's- I, I agree to an extent.

291
00:10:57,772 --> 00:11:02,442
But if they don't disclose that
it includes swingers- Oh … then

292
00:11:02,902 --> 00:11:07,252
in a court of law, if you do
not have the written terms.

293
00:11:07,262 --> 00:11:10,352
So you're saying in the, in
that, you're saying in that

294
00:11:10,352 --> 00:11:12,862
category they should add swingers?

295
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:17,132
I believe, I, I personally believe that
it should be included because- And you

296
00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:18,912
don't think it's just already given?

297
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:19,682
Like, it's given.

298
00:11:19,682 --> 00:11:21,052
It's ethical- It's a,
it's an assumed thing?

299
00:11:21,062 --> 00:11:21,942
It's an assumed thing.

300
00:11:21,952 --> 00:11:27,012
So in, when it comes to the rule of law,
and it comes to- Do not fucking assume.

301
00:11:27,342 --> 00:11:31,102
I mean, how many times has
assuming worked in the rule of law?

302
00:11:31,112 --> 00:11:31,602
Never.

303
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:36,452
If the words are not written on the
page- Yeah … then it is subject

304
00:11:36,472 --> 00:11:38,812
to interpretation by a judge.

305
00:11:38,902 --> 00:11:42,462
And by the time a judge decides-
Right … you know what I'm saying?

306
00:11:42,582 --> 00:11:42,752
Right.

307
00:11:42,762 --> 00:11:46,742
So that's really the case here,
is, is does this include it?

308
00:11:46,762 --> 00:11:48,762
And if it does, they
really should list it.

309
00:11:48,762 --> 00:11:51,202
Um- I mean, I, I mean, you know me.

310
00:11:51,282 --> 00:11:54,722
I find it, I think that it's,
I think the whole situation is

311
00:11:54,802 --> 00:11:56,702
ridiculous to even question it.

312
00:11:56,702 --> 00:11:57,642
That, that we…

313
00:11:57,922 --> 00:11:58,182
Yeah.

314
00:11:58,342 --> 00:11:58,552
Like, question it.

315
00:11:58,552 --> 00:11:59,922
Well, like I said- Like, what is it?

316
00:11:59,922 --> 00:12:00,782
… in a perfect world, we shouldn't
even be questioning that.

317
00:12:00,782 --> 00:12:01,712
It shouldn't even be questioned.

318
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:01,742
Yeah.

319
00:12:01,752 --> 00:12:02,882
Like, it is what it is.

320
00:12:02,882 --> 00:12:06,712
How somebody lives their li- lives
their lives and how someone is, wants

321
00:12:06,712 --> 00:12:09,822
to be perceived in a relationship
has nothing to do with law.

322
00:12:09,952 --> 00:12:10,462
Right.

323
00:12:10,732 --> 00:12:11,664
But- Right … that's another day.

324
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:18,712
But because, because we live in, in a- A
country that is ruled by people who make

325
00:12:18,732 --> 00:12:21,332
laws by what they feel is morally right.

326
00:12:21,332 --> 00:12:25,572
Because let's face facts, a lot of the
laws that are created in this country

327
00:12:26,052 --> 00:12:32,492
are created because people feel this is
their moral obligation to make this a law.

328
00:12:32,612 --> 00:12:32,852
Yeah.

329
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:33,102
Right?

330
00:12:33,342 --> 00:12:35,382
So di- discrimination happens.

331
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:35,702
Yeah.

332
00:12:35,782 --> 00:12:42,032
Discrimination happens in every ounce of,
of this life that we have in this country.

333
00:12:42,202 --> 00:12:44,772
So you have to have
protected classes, right?

334
00:12:44,992 --> 00:12:47,012
Now, has this happened anywhere else?

335
00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:48,212
No, just Seattle.

336
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:49,452
Just Seattle right now.

337
00:12:49,682 --> 00:12:52,052
It's not even Washington
State, just Seattle.

338
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:55,932
Recognized by city council and
pushed through for Seattle.

339
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:56,842
I like that.

340
00:12:56,992 --> 00:12:58,162
And, you know- I love Seattle.

341
00:12:58,162 --> 00:13:00,712
Guys, if y'all need to move
anywhere, move to Seattle.

342
00:13:00,862 --> 00:13:02,922
I would, I'm t- I would
totally move to Seattle.

343
00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:06,932
You know, I, I feel like it's
a, a very interesting thing

344
00:13:06,932 --> 00:13:08,422
that has, has come about.

345
00:13:08,652 --> 00:13:11,202
Now, I know while people are listening
to this, there, there's gonna be a

346
00:13:11,202 --> 00:13:16,032
lot of people who, even if they are
in this lifestyle, they are negative

347
00:13:16,032 --> 00:13:19,072
about the situation, and they're
gonna say stuff like, "Well, yeah,

348
00:13:19,072 --> 00:13:23,762
but Seattle also, you know, made
it legal to do drugs," you know?

349
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:24,132
They did.

350
00:13:24,142 --> 00:13:26,212
Now- The, the hard drugs … I
mean, we're not gonna get into

351
00:13:26,212 --> 00:13:30,132
that, but guys, they also give
medication to people who do drugs.

352
00:13:30,362 --> 00:13:32,942
Like, people are gonna
do drugs, no matter what.

353
00:13:33,192 --> 00:13:36,922
If you like heroin, if you like
fentanyl, if you like pills,

354
00:13:36,922 --> 00:13:38,462
like, you're gonna fucking do 'em.

355
00:13:38,462 --> 00:13:41,582
Like, that's just y'all… It's,
addiction is a, is a horrible thing.

356
00:13:41,712 --> 00:13:41,962
Yeah.

357
00:13:42,232 --> 00:13:45,832
But they're giving you tools because
people don't know how to stop.

358
00:13:45,882 --> 00:13:48,962
Now, if you've ever been addicted
to anything, you understand

359
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,532
the struggle, and you get it.

360
00:13:50,722 --> 00:13:51,912
So smart.

361
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:53,212
They are fucking smart.

362
00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:55,582
Nonetheless- Like, they're fucking smart.

363
00:13:55,622 --> 00:13:56,912
That, that took a turn.

364
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:57,252
Sorry.

365
00:13:57,482 --> 00:14:01,552
Um, but nonetheless, but what, what,
what I was, what I'm really getting at

366
00:14:01,552 --> 00:14:04,812
though is, yeah, 'cause there's, there's
people who automatically equate that as,

367
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:06,662
well, that's a questionable decision.

368
00:14:06,672 --> 00:14:07,062
Yeah.

369
00:14:07,102 --> 00:14:08,482
And I understand.

370
00:14:08,672 --> 00:14:09,502
That's fine.

371
00:14:09,722 --> 00:14:13,282
But we have to admit, this is a big win.

372
00:14:13,482 --> 00:14:15,382
I mean, I, I will agree with you.

373
00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:17,592
That's- This is a big
win … that's a big thing.

374
00:14:17,622 --> 00:14:20,062
I mean, we're, we're in Texas, guys.

375
00:14:20,432 --> 00:14:22,122
They don't give a shit here.

376
00:14:22,872 --> 00:14:24,442
Like- Yeah … they don't give a shit.

377
00:14:24,442 --> 00:14:31,962
They do not… Texas does not care if
you, if you see yourself as a transgender.

378
00:14:32,182 --> 00:14:36,902
They're like, "Yeah, that doesn't even
exist in our books." So for Seattle- You

379
00:14:36,902 --> 00:14:41,722
know, Seattle is, is a very progressive,
uh, city I- Uh, our friends from

380
00:14:41,722 --> 00:14:43,852
Multiamory- Yes … are in, in Seattle.

381
00:14:43,852 --> 00:14:44,722
They are in Seattle.

382
00:14:44,722 --> 00:14:49,172
Uh, you know, there, there's a lot
of polyamorous relationships that

383
00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:51,416
are- Flourishing in that area.

384
00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:56,346
And so for them to come out and say, "Hey,
this is a class that we're protecting.

385
00:14:56,546 --> 00:14:59,466
You cannot be discriminated
against," uh, you know, I think

386
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:00,716
that's really pretty cool.

387
00:15:00,926 --> 00:15:06,126
Olympia, Portland, Oakland, and West
Hollywood have actually passed similar

388
00:15:06,126 --> 00:15:08,356
measures like this this past year.

389
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:08,776
Oh, okay.

390
00:15:09,146 --> 00:15:12,716
And Seattle's taking
effect in June of 2027.

391
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,296
Wow.

392
00:15:13,306 --> 00:15:13,996
So that's, that's official.

393
00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:14,566
Okay.

394
00:15:14,596 --> 00:15:16,826
So this is becoming a
trend, you could say.

395
00:15:17,146 --> 00:15:20,712
Uh, it's becoming a thing that's
gonna be Uh, you know, who knows?

396
00:15:20,752 --> 00:15:24,092
I mean, are we gonna see, are we
gonna see Austin ever push that?

397
00:15:24,102 --> 00:15:24,672
I don't know.

398
00:15:24,812 --> 00:15:27,122
Now- I don't know … when
does this ever come into play?

399
00:15:27,242 --> 00:15:31,792
Is it when someone asks, "Are you married,
single, divorced, widowed?" So- Or poly?

400
00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:33,232
… that's a really good question.

401
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:37,852
So I actually, I think I made note
of that here, uh, because I had a

402
00:15:37,852 --> 00:15:39,382
feeling that that would come up.

403
00:15:39,932 --> 00:15:43,072
I mean, like, like I… And I
get it when, when maybe you're at

404
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:46,082
the doctor's office and they're
asking you, like, "Are you married?

405
00:15:46,082 --> 00:15:46,732
Are you single?

406
00:15:46,732 --> 00:15:47,522
Are you divorced?

407
00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:48,402
Are you widowed?

408
00:15:48,612 --> 00:15:51,682
Or are you poly?" So here's
what it covers, okay?

409
00:15:51,982 --> 00:15:53,482
This is the reason why it came to be.

410
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:53,952
Okay.

411
00:15:54,172 --> 00:15:58,842
The, the person, there was a s- very
specific person who pushed or, or

412
00:15:58,852 --> 00:16:00,502
started to really push for this.

413
00:16:00,562 --> 00:16:00,882
Okay.

414
00:16:01,072 --> 00:16:06,872
Because 5% of Seattle's population are
ethically non-monogamous or consensual.

415
00:16:06,872 --> 00:16:08,922
5%? 5%. Wow, that's not bad.

416
00:16:09,072 --> 00:16:09,222
Okay?

417
00:16:09,342 --> 00:16:09,512
Wow.

418
00:16:09,512 --> 00:16:14,642
So with that, uh, this person particularly
brought this up, pushed for it,

419
00:16:14,912 --> 00:16:21,742
because their partner was dealing with
discrimination from their em- employer.

420
00:16:21,952 --> 00:16:22,652
Wow.

421
00:16:22,692 --> 00:16:24,522
And they didn't like it.

422
00:16:24,662 --> 00:16:25,572
They felt bullied.

423
00:16:25,672 --> 00:16:27,552
I mean- And so they said, "You
know what? Yeah. We're gonna

424
00:16:27,552 --> 00:16:29,092
push for this." And it worked.

425
00:16:29,362 --> 00:16:30,812
Now, here's what it covers.

426
00:16:30,942 --> 00:16:35,792
It covers employment, it covers
housing, business licensure, places

427
00:16:35,792 --> 00:16:39,992
of public accommodation, park usage,
I thought that one was funny, and

428
00:16:40,002 --> 00:16:44,812
bias-free, uh, policing enforced by
the city's Office of Civil Rights.

429
00:16:44,972 --> 00:16:44,992
Huh.

430
00:16:44,992 --> 00:16:47,982
Now, all of those made
sense to me, but park usage?

431
00:16:48,292 --> 00:16:48,642
What?

432
00:16:49,202 --> 00:16:50,262
Park, park usage?

433
00:16:50,472 --> 00:16:53,812
Our, our… I'm sorry, I…
So we're non-monogamous, we

434
00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:54,752
go to parks all the time.

435
00:16:54,912 --> 00:16:58,242
I- I mean, I mean, I- … don't, uh… I
mean, we don't go to parks to fuck around,

436
00:16:58,242 --> 00:16:59,792
but, you know, I mean, what is that?

437
00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:01,532
I- What is that?

438
00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:05,952
It, it's a great, it's a great
thing to put into, into your…

439
00:17:06,142 --> 00:17:06,652
What is it?

440
00:17:06,682 --> 00:17:06,872
A law?

441
00:17:06,872 --> 00:17:08,142
Are they, are they saying- Is it a law?

442
00:17:08,392 --> 00:17:11,482
… that people can't go to parks
if you're non-monogamous?

443
00:17:11,522 --> 00:17:12,062
Is it a law?

444
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:13,202
Is that what it's called, a law?

445
00:17:13,262 --> 00:17:14,432
It is a law, yeah.

446
00:17:14,462 --> 00:17:18,312
I mean, I think it's, I think that's kinda
cool because people can be more free.

447
00:17:18,492 --> 00:17:20,582
I mean, I, I understand people
are, you know, we're just kind of

448
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:23,322
sometimes we're hidden and we don't
wanna talk about our situations, and

449
00:17:23,392 --> 00:17:24,842
we can't live life to the fullest.

450
00:17:24,842 --> 00:17:26,592
But these people have made history.

451
00:17:26,852 --> 00:17:29,812
Well, you know, that's, that's really,
kinda loops back to the last show

452
00:17:29,812 --> 00:17:34,432
that we did about having to be, uh,
discreet, not, not being able to know

453
00:17:34,432 --> 00:17:36,482
how to act in front of vanilla s- Yeah.

454
00:17:36,492 --> 00:17:42,132
Like- … I love talking about the
lifestyle, and I have to keep it a

455
00:17:42,132 --> 00:17:44,322
little bit tight with certain people.

456
00:17:44,412 --> 00:17:49,392
And it's, it's not, like, something like,
"Oh, I got slammed by two guys today."

457
00:17:49,392 --> 00:17:51,132
Not, like, that kinda conversation.

458
00:17:51,152 --> 00:17:51,565
Yeah, yeah.

459
00:17:51,565 --> 00:17:53,169
But, like- You're not walking into,
uh- … "What are you doing this weekend?"

460
00:17:53,169 --> 00:17:56,152
Or, "How was your weekend?" … not
walking into work with cum on your face.

461
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:56,692
Yeah, no.

462
00:17:56,712 --> 00:17:56,882
Yeah.

463
00:17:57,272 --> 00:17:57,732
Not lately.

464
00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,592
Going, "You wouldn't
believe what I just did.

465
00:17:59,592 --> 00:18:03,082
I ran into the guy before I
walked in here, and bam, shot in

466
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,292
the eye." You know what I mean?

467
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,892
Like, it's, uh, people s- people
have this- Yeah … thought about

468
00:18:07,892 --> 00:18:12,312
swingers- Mm-hmm … because we
partake in, in sexual freedom, that

469
00:18:12,322 --> 00:18:14,752
we're all these nasty motherfuckers.

470
00:18:15,042 --> 00:18:17,922
And, and they get these thoughts
from, from porn, which I gotta

471
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,728
tell you, those porn It's hot.

472
00:18:19,948 --> 00:18:20,908
I, I like them.

473
00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:22,608
But it's not reality.

474
00:18:22,738 --> 00:18:23,298
No.

475
00:18:23,298 --> 00:18:26,608
And, a- and we, we know and we've said
over and over again, that's not reality.

476
00:18:26,608 --> 00:18:27,498
That's not reality.

477
00:18:27,588 --> 00:18:28,368
That's not true.

478
00:18:28,378 --> 00:18:28,698
No.

479
00:18:29,530 --> 00:18:33,470
But that's what people think about
when they think about swinging, is,

480
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:37,910
is that we're all just, "By the way,
I'm, I'm, I'm gonna go at lunchtime to

481
00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:39,700
the dumpsters and give some guy head."

482
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,460
I mean, I think- You know what I mean?

483
00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:43,220
Like, that's what they think … I
think people don't even understand

484
00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:47,670
the situation when I say I'm
bisexual and I'm married to a man.

485
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:48,470
How's that?

486
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:53,060
Like, if I tell somebody I'm bisexual
that's not in the, in the lifestyle or

487
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:57,250
is just, like, oblivious, they're like,
"Well, what do you mean you're bisexual?"

488
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,770
Mm. And it's like, "Yeah, I l- I like
women as well as men." And see, to me,

489
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:02,980
that's- And you're married to a man.

490
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:03,600
Yeah.

491
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,420
It's like, well, yeah, I'm not a lesbian.

492
00:19:06,950 --> 00:19:07,460
I like men.

493
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:12,020
So that's… What's funny is, and
I, I didn't really think about this

494
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:16,520
until recently, but realistically,
if you meet a couple that you

495
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,370
think are monogamous- Mm-hmm

496
00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:21,900
and the wife comes out and says,
"Oh, yeah, I'm bisexual," that

497
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,250
is a non-monogamous couple.

498
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,627
That is a non-monogamous couple.

499
00:19:24,627 --> 00:19:30,360
Because if she, if she's open about her
bisexuality and her love of women, chances

500
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:34,600
are she's partaking, and- Doesn't mean
she's a swinger Doesn't mean she's a

501
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,970
swinger … just means she likes women.

502
00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:38,820
But it also means she's non-monogamous.

503
00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:39,850
Non-monogamous.

504
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,640
Because they're… Well-
Well- … if they're

505
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,100
practicing … if they're prac- Yeah.

506
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:44,180
Touche.

507
00:19:44,670 --> 00:19:45,990
If they're practicing.

508
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:46,420
Touche.

509
00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:47,040
I like that.

510
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,400
We- We were on the same page there,
'cause I could, I could hear a, a

511
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,570
little parrot voice come in my ear
and go, "If they're practicing."

512
00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:57,020
I'm like, "Oh." If they're
practicing- That's right … then.

513
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:57,460
Yeah, yeah.

514
00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:57,900
Then.

515
00:19:57,900 --> 00:19:59,950
If- You know, then they're-
Obviously … they're non-monogamous.

516
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,830
But if they're not practicing-
Then it's just something that

517
00:20:02,830 --> 00:20:05,730
she likes … it's just something
that she enjoys visually, I guess.

518
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:06,920
Vis- you know.

519
00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:07,310
Yeah.

520
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:08,190
Doing that waka, waka, waka too.

521
00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:09,070
That's right.

522
00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:09,130
Yeah.

523
00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:11,880
Playing the DJ all night long.

524
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:12,600
Yeah, yeah.

525
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:12,870
Yeah.

526
00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:14,720
Getting the little man in
the boat ready to fish.

527
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:16,080
That's right.

528
00:20:16,770 --> 00:20:18,600
Waving to the bottom part of your pants.

529
00:20:19,430 --> 00:20:19,750
Right.

530
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:20,010
That's right.

531
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:24,520
So, yeah, I mean, it, it's… I,
I, hey, I think that's the coolest

532
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,850
thing ever, and I think that… I
would say that this is gonna start

533
00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:30,480
turning wheels for other places.

534
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,000
Yeah.

535
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:31,810
But it's not.

536
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:33,040
You know- It's not.

537
00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:36,860
Like, we can- Well, well- It's, it's
not … well- Baby … well- Baby … I

538
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,360
mean, it's not just Seattle for one thing.

539
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,850
We just listed off a few other
cities that are doing it, but

540
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,240
you have to consider one thing.

541
00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:42,890
Mm-hmm.

542
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:43,630
Weed.

543
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:44,240
Uh-huh.

544
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:46,200
It started with one.

545
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:46,960
Weed.

546
00:20:47,020 --> 00:20:47,240
But I, yeah.

547
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,110
Weed legalization started with one city.

548
00:20:50,210 --> 00:20:50,640
Yes.

549
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:51,960
And it went from there.

550
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:52,400
Yes.

551
00:20:52,510 --> 00:20:55,400
I mean, it's a step in
the right direction.

552
00:20:55,410 --> 00:20:55,692
It, it definitely is.

553
00:20:55,692 --> 00:20:59,950
Now, will it, will it happen for, you
know, a lot of the United States- I

554
00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:00,910
won't- … in the next five years?

555
00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:01,970
Probably not.

556
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:06,770
I won't downplay the win, because
I find the win is amazing.

557
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:10,540
I mean, it's amazing for these
people who wanted it, right?

558
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:15,150
Like, I, I, I understand that,
and for the community in Seattle

559
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:17,050
that really thrived to push this.

560
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,010
Hey, mazel tov, dude.

561
00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:21,040
Like, great fucking job.

562
00:21:21,350 --> 00:21:21,660
Yeah.

563
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:25,718
I would hope that other places
do it, but I don't know, man.

564
00:21:26,068 --> 00:21:26,618
I don't know.

565
00:21:26,628 --> 00:21:29,338
Well, you know, o- on this- I know
one place that's not gonna do it.

566
00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:32,625
On this… I know several
places that are not gonna do it.

567
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,018
Harry, I can tell you right now,
it will never- I'd say the Deep

568
00:21:35,018 --> 00:21:37,748
South is probably not gonna go
there … never gonna happen here.

569
00:21:37,758 --> 00:21:41,438
Uh, but you just never know, because
let me tell you, there are several

570
00:21:41,608 --> 00:21:44,438
throuples that I follow on TikTok.

571
00:21:44,448 --> 00:21:44,468
Yeah.

572
00:21:44,588 --> 00:21:46,568
And many are in Florida.

573
00:21:46,768 --> 00:21:47,428
That's awesome.

574
00:21:47,538 --> 00:21:47,598
I'm glad.

575
00:21:47,608 --> 00:21:48,788
Many are in Florida.

576
00:21:48,788 --> 00:21:48,888
Good luck, more power.

577
00:21:48,888 --> 00:21:52,138
And we all know that there's a lot
of swingers as well in Florida.

578
00:21:52,148 --> 00:21:53,428
More power to you guys.

579
00:21:53,428 --> 00:21:57,018
I mean, I hope, I hope that, I hope
that y'all can fight it and, and,

580
00:21:57,028 --> 00:21:58,968
you know, get, get something rolling.

581
00:21:58,968 --> 00:21:59,838
That would be amazing.

582
00:22:00,168 --> 00:22:02,478
You know, things only happen in numbers.

583
00:22:02,678 --> 00:22:03,078
Yeah.

584
00:22:03,108 --> 00:22:07,308
So the more people you have doing it,
and the more people you have pushing

585
00:22:07,308 --> 00:22:10,578
it, and the more people that want
this kinda change, it's gonna change.

586
00:22:10,578 --> 00:22:12,628
And, well, so that is the key there.

587
00:22:12,648 --> 00:22:14,068
They gotta want the change.

588
00:22:14,068 --> 00:22:14,248
Yeah.

589
00:22:14,428 --> 00:22:18,688
There's a lot of people who are
even listeners, much less in the

590
00:22:18,688 --> 00:22:22,608
community, who will say, "Well, I'm
not trying to be out with this." Yeah.

591
00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:25,908
"I… You know, what I do- Oh, for
sure … what I do in my own personal

592
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,308
time is nobody's business." Yeah.

593
00:22:27,318 --> 00:22:29,468
"And I don't, I don't
wanna be out with this."

594
00:22:29,498 --> 00:22:29,638
Yeah.

595
00:22:29,638 --> 00:22:31,908
"And so I'm not gonna fight that
fight." And you don't have to.

596
00:22:31,938 --> 00:22:35,118
But it really… So, you know, one
of the, one of the commenters on

597
00:22:35,118 --> 00:22:38,658
this particular article, uh, was
a fella named Richard Gilmore.

598
00:22:38,668 --> 00:22:43,898
He is about to celebrate 26 years
in a four-person relationship

599
00:22:43,918 --> 00:22:45,998
with two men and two women.

600
00:22:46,178 --> 00:22:46,758
Wow.

601
00:22:46,768 --> 00:22:48,828
And- Way to go, Richard Gilmore.

602
00:22:48,828 --> 00:22:51,028
Did you know- I mean, that's, I
mean, that's the GOAT right there.

603
00:22:51,038 --> 00:22:55,058
Did you know Richard Gilmore
was the grandfather on- Gilmore

604
00:22:55,058 --> 00:22:56,128
Girls … Gilmore Girls?

605
00:22:56,298 --> 00:22:56,688
Wow.

606
00:22:56,768 --> 00:22:57,908
You really get around, buddy.

607
00:22:57,908 --> 00:22:59,108
So, so way to go.

608
00:22:59,128 --> 00:23:03,658
Uh, but, but he actually was, in
that article, he had spoke about

609
00:23:03,878 --> 00:23:06,218
the fear of discrimination at work.

610
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,248
I, I would agree with that.

611
00:23:07,278 --> 00:23:09,398
I can't even talk about bisexuality.

612
00:23:09,478 --> 00:23:09,778
No.

613
00:23:09,838 --> 00:23:12,978
Because I will feel- Yeah … like
I would get… And there's not,

614
00:23:13,008 --> 00:23:16,468
we're not a big staff, but I
would get looked at oddl- oddly.

615
00:23:16,538 --> 00:23:17,178
Totally.

616
00:23:17,328 --> 00:23:17,648
Totally.

617
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:21,718
Like- Well, you know, I always said
being open as a swinger- Mm-hmm … to

618
00:23:21,718 --> 00:23:26,418
people who are not in the community,
not in the lifestyle, is difficult

619
00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:31,238
because if you come out to a room full
of men and women and you say that,

620
00:23:31,298 --> 00:23:34,428
"Well, I'm a swinger," everybody's
gonna assume that you're automatically

621
00:23:34,428 --> 00:23:35,908
trying to have sex with them.

622
00:23:36,068 --> 00:23:36,518
Yes.

623
00:23:36,668 --> 00:23:36,968
Yes.

624
00:23:37,108 --> 00:23:41,118
And the guys are gonna think
that it's open for business.

625
00:23:41,208 --> 00:23:41,628
Yes.

626
00:23:41,698 --> 00:23:44,588
And the women are gonna get
kind of upset and be like, "Stay

627
00:23:44,588 --> 00:23:45,808
away from my husband." Yes.

628
00:23:45,868 --> 00:23:46,428
You know what I mean?

629
00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:46,808
Mm-hmm.

630
00:23:47,038 --> 00:23:52,518
Um, if I come out into a, a room
full of men and women and I say,

631
00:23:52,528 --> 00:23:56,148
"I'm a swinger," to a bunch of
vanillas, the women are automatically

632
00:23:56,148 --> 00:23:57,978
going to shield themselves from me.

633
00:23:58,098 --> 00:23:58,158
Yes.

634
00:23:58,168 --> 00:24:00,478
Because they think that any little
thing that I'm gonna tell them

635
00:24:00,478 --> 00:24:01,798
is me trying to sleep with them.

636
00:24:02,198 --> 00:24:05,028
And the men are gonna think
that I'm a little bit gay.

637
00:24:05,934 --> 00:24:06,944
And, uh, you're right.

638
00:24:06,974 --> 00:24:11,504
If you're just not in a regular
monogamous relationship, when you

639
00:24:11,504 --> 00:24:14,754
come out with your relationship
style, are people gonna look sideways?

640
00:24:14,984 --> 00:24:15,284
Yeah.

641
00:24:15,484 --> 00:24:15,674
Yeah.

642
00:24:15,674 --> 00:24:15,754
Every, every time.

643
00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:17,214
Like, no matter what it is.

644
00:24:17,244 --> 00:24:17,804
Every time.

645
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:22,404
You know, I, I, I just feel like a
lot of… Like, when we came out,

646
00:24:22,404 --> 00:24:25,694
like, when we s- came out with the
podcast, for example, we weren't

647
00:24:25,694 --> 00:24:29,624
quiet about our lifestyle, but we also
didn't really throw out a whole lot.

648
00:24:29,674 --> 00:24:29,974
No.

649
00:24:30,044 --> 00:24:34,494
When we came out about the podcast,
well, hell, we started spamming

650
00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:38,694
our social medias with clips and
content and things like that.

651
00:24:38,704 --> 00:24:38,734
Yes.

652
00:24:38,844 --> 00:24:43,878
Mm-hmm And I feel like there was a
lot of people, I don't, I, I don't

653
00:24:43,878 --> 00:24:47,648
know about your, uh, social medias,
but on my social medias I had a lot

654
00:24:47,648 --> 00:24:51,118
of people who were in the vanilla
world, maybe people that I knew from

655
00:24:51,118 --> 00:24:57,138
high school, I knew from college, you
know, or just past working friends.

656
00:24:57,148 --> 00:24:57,178
Mm-hmm.

657
00:24:57,188 --> 00:24:58,048
You know, that sort of thing.

658
00:24:58,148 --> 00:25:00,628
That I feel were very accepting.

659
00:25:00,718 --> 00:25:02,228
Like, they didn't bat an eye.

660
00:25:02,338 --> 00:25:03,758
They didn't act differently.

661
00:25:04,008 --> 00:25:08,198
They didn't act like whenever I sent
them a message to say, "Hello, I hope

662
00:25:08,198 --> 00:25:11,498
you guys are doing great," or whatever,
they didn't think I was hitting on them

663
00:25:11,498 --> 00:25:13,438
and, and overreact or anything like that.

664
00:25:13,488 --> 00:25:13,808
You know what I mean?

665
00:25:13,808 --> 00:25:14,108
Yeah.

666
00:25:14,248 --> 00:25:14,588
No.

667
00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:18,608
I- Um, now there were some friends that
had messaged me at, when we initially

668
00:25:18,608 --> 00:25:23,278
came out back in- Yeah … what, 2016 or
'15- Yeah … or whatever it was, that had

669
00:25:23,278 --> 00:25:27,048
messaged and were like, "You know what?
The lifestyle you're living is wrong.

670
00:25:27,088 --> 00:25:32,678
And you know, I, I, I just really… Y-
you're, you're violating so many things,

671
00:25:32,718 --> 00:25:34,808
and it's just not a, a good way to l-…"

672
00:25:34,818 --> 00:25:35,768
And just so judgy.

673
00:25:36,028 --> 00:25:36,768
So judgy.

674
00:25:36,788 --> 00:25:38,108
Just filled with judgment.

675
00:25:38,208 --> 00:25:42,368
And one, it's fine if you wanna have
your own opinion about things, but

676
00:25:42,378 --> 00:25:47,698
don't feel the need to go out of
your way to tell somebody who feels

677
00:25:47,708 --> 00:25:51,728
just barely okay saying it out loud.

678
00:25:51,778 --> 00:25:52,548
Yeah.

679
00:25:52,738 --> 00:25:55,208
It's hard to say the thing out loud.

680
00:25:55,208 --> 00:25:55,398
Don't be an asshole.

681
00:25:55,398 --> 00:25:56,648
It's hard to say the thing out loud.

682
00:25:56,658 --> 00:25:56,908
It is.

683
00:25:56,958 --> 00:26:02,348
And, and you know, I say this, and
all the while our LGBTQ friends are

684
00:26:02,348 --> 00:26:06,288
sitting back in their seat drinking
their tea going, "Yeah, motherfucker.

685
00:26:06,498 --> 00:26:09,758
This is the fight we've been fighting-
I get it … for so long." Yeah.

686
00:26:10,078 --> 00:26:14,508
And, and many of them get to
experience that, that freedom of

687
00:26:14,528 --> 00:26:18,028
coming out and living the life
that they wanna live happily.

688
00:26:18,308 --> 00:26:19,678
You did when you came out as bisexual.

689
00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:20,198
Oh, yeah.

690
00:26:20,398 --> 00:26:22,668
And you f- you were finally
able to say the thing.

691
00:26:22,678 --> 00:26:22,698
Yeah.

692
00:26:22,738 --> 00:26:23,528
And it was freeing.

693
00:26:23,588 --> 00:26:23,808
Mm-hmm.

694
00:26:24,028 --> 00:26:28,368
Being able to say that we're ethically
non-monogamous for me is very freeing.

695
00:26:28,398 --> 00:26:28,678
Yeah.

696
00:26:29,158 --> 00:26:32,398
And being able to talk about it
openly is very freeing, and I've

697
00:26:32,398 --> 00:26:33,988
gotten very accustomed to that.

698
00:26:34,078 --> 00:26:37,028
But there are still certain
things- That you cannot- … like

699
00:26:37,028 --> 00:26:38,528
employment … that you just can't.

700
00:26:38,868 --> 00:26:40,358
You gotta, you gotta bite your tongue.

701
00:26:40,868 --> 00:26:44,708
On employment, sometimes there's certain
family you just, you know, maybe you

702
00:26:44,708 --> 00:26:47,818
have a grandmother and you're like,
"She's not gonna understand this." Yeah.

703
00:26:47,818 --> 00:26:48,328
It's okay.

704
00:26:48,498 --> 00:26:48,768
Yeah.

705
00:26:49,138 --> 00:26:50,448
We don't have to tell Granny.

706
00:26:50,478 --> 00:26:50,788
Yeah.

707
00:26:50,788 --> 00:26:55,808
Uh, y- you know, the, the hard part I
think especially for polyamorous people

708
00:26:56,048 --> 00:27:00,538
when it comes to employment is if you're
in, say, a throuple that's very serious.

709
00:27:00,618 --> 00:27:00,908
Mm-hmm.

710
00:27:01,058 --> 00:27:04,808
For example, if I was, say this
was not the number one priority,

711
00:27:04,838 --> 00:27:06,718
but we were kitchen table poly.

712
00:27:06,748 --> 00:27:11,148
Mm. So your as, and, and mine
relationship is, is important, but

713
00:27:11,158 --> 00:27:13,938
my relationship with this other
person that I have is important, and

714
00:27:13,948 --> 00:27:15,558
we got a little V thing happening.

715
00:27:15,698 --> 00:27:19,708
If I have a Christmas party at
work, who the hell am I taking?

716
00:27:19,948 --> 00:27:20,308
Me.

717
00:27:20,498 --> 00:27:25,308
Who is my, who is considered- Yeah … my
work girlfriend or my work wife?

718
00:27:25,308 --> 00:27:25,588
Like, it can't be a plus one.

719
00:27:25,588 --> 00:27:26,388
You know, whatever it is.

720
00:27:26,448 --> 00:27:27,128
Exactly.

721
00:27:27,388 --> 00:27:30,718
You can't say, "Oh, you know what? I'm
gonna take my…" My two girlfriends

722
00:27:30,718 --> 00:27:32,718
with me But you also, I mean, you
gotta be considerate Or I'm gonna

723
00:27:32,718 --> 00:27:36,268
take my wife and my girlfriend But
you can't also bring the whole family.

724
00:27:36,308 --> 00:27:38,368
Like, you have to pick sometimes.

725
00:27:38,608 --> 00:27:41,588
Sorry, poly people, you're
gonna have to pick sometimes.

726
00:27:41,758 --> 00:27:44,228
If it's an employer, you
can't just take both.

727
00:27:44,468 --> 00:27:46,538
It… I mean, I don't know.

728
00:27:46,738 --> 00:27:47,418
You can't.

729
00:27:47,478 --> 00:27:48,648
I mean, I will say this.

730
00:27:48,678 --> 00:27:49,428
I'm not gonna say that you can't.

731
00:27:49,428 --> 00:27:52,678
You should be, you should be a- It's a
valid relationship You should be able to

732
00:27:52,828 --> 00:27:54,248
But if, if you're gonna- But you can't

733
00:27:54,248 --> 00:27:58,108
if you're gonna take more than one person,
and you're gonna claim that you have

734
00:27:58,118 --> 00:28:02,278
this more than one person relationship,
and you show up to the Christmas party

735
00:28:02,278 --> 00:28:06,828
at your employer's place- Yeah … then,
I mean- Go by yourself … you're gonna

736
00:28:06,828 --> 00:28:09,318
get discounted on your food plates.

737
00:28:09,628 --> 00:28:10,688
We'll allow it.

738
00:28:10,888 --> 00:28:11,748
Just go by yourself.

739
00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:12,508
But discounts.

740
00:28:12,508 --> 00:28:13,318
You're paying something.

741
00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:15,748
Because you're bringing
a whole extra person.

742
00:28:15,778 --> 00:28:16,438
Yeah.

743
00:28:16,868 --> 00:28:18,958
I mean, I, I underst- I do.

744
00:28:18,958 --> 00:28:19,748
I, I- That's fine with you guys.

745
00:28:20,158 --> 00:28:20,698
I love you.

746
00:28:21,008 --> 00:28:21,868
I would not charge you.

747
00:28:22,228 --> 00:28:25,108
But, but, you know, I mean, it, that,
that really, it- that's gotta be,

748
00:28:25,168 --> 00:28:27,148
like, on the, on the serious end.

749
00:28:27,368 --> 00:28:29,578
Or, like, when it, it's
an emergency, right?

750
00:28:29,588 --> 00:28:33,368
Like, when you have an emergency- Yeah
… and you c- you're only, your, your p-

751
00:28:33,538 --> 00:28:37,328
spouse can call and ask, "Oh, are you
re- what's, what's your relation?" "Well,

752
00:28:37,488 --> 00:28:41,588
I'm the girlfriend," or, "I'm the wife,
and this is the girlfriend." Like, the,

753
00:28:41,638 --> 00:28:44,008
unfortunately they're gonna only pick one.

754
00:28:44,188 --> 00:28:44,578
Yeah.

755
00:28:44,578 --> 00:28:48,108
You know, that's a really, really
good example, because I was just

756
00:28:48,118 --> 00:28:49,318
thinking about that show, The Pit.

757
00:28:49,408 --> 00:28:50,418
I gotta pick that up again.

758
00:28:50,688 --> 00:28:55,818
Anyways, but I was, I, I had this whole
flash of, you know, who, who do they

759
00:28:55,818 --> 00:28:58,958
let into the ICU or whatever, you know?

760
00:28:58,958 --> 00:29:00,998
Is, is it the wife or
is it the girlfriend?

761
00:29:01,048 --> 00:29:01,516
Usually the wife.

762
00:29:01,516 --> 00:29:05,278
Do they have to say, "Okay, you know what?
Who's the one saying this?" Or- If you're

763
00:29:05,278 --> 00:29:10,684
still married and a do not resuscitate
is an option, the wife is choosing Ooh

764
00:29:10,974 --> 00:29:15,694
Not the girlfriend You just darkened
my day I'm choosing Ugh I'm choosing

765
00:29:15,924 --> 00:29:17,284
to pull that plug That got dark, man.

766
00:29:17,354 --> 00:29:20,994
That got dark real fast I mean, have
you ever seen that movie, um- I'm

767
00:29:20,994 --> 00:29:24,594
sure I have … uh, you, you have
seen it, Diary of a Mad Black Woman?

768
00:29:24,844 --> 00:29:28,674
I have And the girlfriend's like,
"He's not gonna h- he's paralyzed."

769
00:29:28,674 --> 00:29:30,264
And she's, "He's not gonna have a life.

770
00:29:30,404 --> 00:29:33,404
Pull the plug." And the, they haven't
divorced yet, and the wife came in and

771
00:29:33,404 --> 00:29:35,884
she's like, "Are you fucking crazy?"

772
00:29:36,154 --> 00:29:36,354
Yeah.

773
00:29:36,354 --> 00:29:37,394
Oh, man Like that.

774
00:29:37,824 --> 00:29:39,414
I felt like Tyler Perry was here.

775
00:29:39,554 --> 00:29:40,084
That was good.

776
00:29:40,734 --> 00:29:41,944
That was a good re- retelling.

777
00:29:42,074 --> 00:29:42,884
Little Shakespearean.

778
00:29:42,884 --> 00:29:44,134
I like that movie.

779
00:29:44,144 --> 00:29:45,114
Yeah, I see that.

780
00:29:45,194 --> 00:29:45,724
That's good.

781
00:29:45,774 --> 00:29:46,564
That's good stuff.

782
00:29:46,844 --> 00:29:51,744
You know, I, I, I am honestly,
like, I, I don't know how, how,

783
00:29:51,834 --> 00:29:53,604
how difficult that would, would be.

784
00:29:53,744 --> 00:29:56,074
Well, let me tell you- I've always
had a primary relationship, so I

785
00:29:56,074 --> 00:29:57,494
don't know how difficult that would be

786
00:29:57,630 --> 00:30:00,130
All right, this next one's
a personal favorite of mine.

787
00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:02,630
Pleasure Chest If you don't
know them, you should.

788
00:30:02,660 --> 00:30:03,960
They've been around since the '70s.

789
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,740
Which in sex toy years is
basically ancient royalty.

790
00:30:08,020 --> 00:30:09,170
They've earned it, though.

791
00:30:09,310 --> 00:30:14,150
Locations in New York, Chicago, LA, but
also fully online, so you don't need

792
00:30:14,150 --> 00:30:16,260
to live in a big city to shop there.

793
00:30:16,550 --> 00:30:18,370
And it's not just the toys.

794
00:30:18,740 --> 00:30:22,390
Lingerie, kink gear, lube, wellness stuff.

795
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:26,700
Basically anything you'd want in the
toy chest, they've got a version of it.

796
00:30:26,940 --> 00:30:27,430
That's right.

797
00:30:27,730 --> 00:30:30,800
What we actually like about them
is the education-first approach.

798
00:30:30,850 --> 00:30:34,140
It doesn't feel like walking into
a store and getting side-eyed.

799
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,610
Yeah, it feels like walking in and
getting genuinely good advice from someone

800
00:30:38,610 --> 00:30:40,350
who knows what they're talking about.

801
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,190
Which matters a lot when
you're trying something new.

802
00:30:43,210 --> 00:30:46,080
Whether that's your
first toy or your 15th.

803
00:30:46,460 --> 00:30:47,050
True.

804
00:30:47,340 --> 00:30:52,280
BodySafe materials across the board, too,
so you're not just gambling on quality.

805
00:30:52,790 --> 00:30:53,420
Basically.

806
00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:58,490
If you're curious about something, this
is really solid place to start exploring.

807
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:02,340
Yeah, link's in the show notes, so
go poke around, no pun intended.

808
00:31:02,350 --> 00:31:02,480
Thepleasurechest.com.

809
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:03,540
Go build your own little chest

810
00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:06,800
of pleasures.

811
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,240
We're keeping that line.

812
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:08,940
Obviously.

813
00:31:09,207 --> 00:31:10,997
let me tell you how, how
difficult life- Oh, here we

814
00:31:10,997 --> 00:31:12,017
go … has been for some people.

815
00:31:12,017 --> 00:31:18,717
In a 2025 survey of 5,885 non-monogamous
people, 61% said they'd experienced

816
00:31:18,757 --> 00:31:22,587
prejudice or discrimination,
and most weren't fully open with

817
00:31:22,597 --> 00:31:24,297
work supervisors or landlords.

818
00:31:24,407 --> 00:31:24,967
Wow.

819
00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:27,667
That's a lot of people
That's a lot of people.

820
00:31:27,667 --> 00:31:27,717
That's a lot of people.

821
00:31:27,717 --> 00:31:29,397
And, and that's, that's sad.

822
00:31:29,507 --> 00:31:33,877
I mean- That's sad … that's
only 5,885 people.

823
00:31:34,047 --> 00:31:34,717
That's, yeah.

824
00:31:34,717 --> 00:31:37,157
Like, that's a- That, and
that's only people on a survey.

825
00:31:37,157 --> 00:31:43,797
That's 61, 61%, so more than half
experienced prejudice or discrimination.

826
00:31:43,847 --> 00:31:44,477
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

827
00:31:44,517 --> 00:31:47,477
And they weren't even
open with supervisors.

828
00:31:47,517 --> 00:31:49,247
You know, I was very afraid.

829
00:31:49,267 --> 00:31:50,557
There- Explain that to me, though.

830
00:31:50,727 --> 00:31:54,287
Would that be like, if they weren't
open, how did they get discriminated?

831
00:31:54,457 --> 00:31:58,387
Maybe- I don't get that … so if they
weren't open, like, say- Oh … the

832
00:31:58,387 --> 00:32:00,637
swinger community- Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah … somebody goes rogue,

833
00:32:00,667 --> 00:32:02,507
decides they have a real ax to grind.

834
00:32:02,507 --> 00:32:02,587
Understood.

835
00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:05,157
Yeah They take pictures of
somebody- Yeah … at a swinger

836
00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:06,807
event and send it to their boss.

837
00:32:06,877 --> 00:32:07,307
Boom.

838
00:32:07,437 --> 00:32:07,857
Yeah.

839
00:32:07,977 --> 00:32:12,803
They've just been outed by somebody And
lost their job Or maybe just talking about

840
00:32:12,803 --> 00:32:16,483
it, like, "I like the swinger lifestyle,"
whatever, whatever, but I'm not, like,

841
00:32:16,483 --> 00:32:18,013
and not even fully coming out with it.

842
00:32:18,193 --> 00:32:18,533
Yeah.

843
00:32:18,623 --> 00:32:20,763
And then just, like, discussing
it and then- Or if there's a

844
00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:22,153
post on their social media.

845
00:32:22,153 --> 00:32:22,183
Okay.

846
00:32:22,183 --> 00:32:22,673
I gotcha.

847
00:32:22,813 --> 00:32:23,643
Or, you know.

848
00:32:23,653 --> 00:32:24,023
That sucks.

849
00:32:24,023 --> 00:32:25,253
That's half those people.

850
00:32:25,263 --> 00:32:26,213
Yeah, man.

851
00:32:26,353 --> 00:32:27,703
That's, that's a lot.

852
00:32:27,753 --> 00:32:28,993
That's a lot of people.

853
00:32:29,143 --> 00:32:29,853
I know.

854
00:32:29,943 --> 00:32:32,923
I know, and that's because
that's a small survey.

855
00:32:33,233 --> 00:32:34,033
That's a… Yeah.

856
00:32:34,033 --> 00:32:35,033
We, we weren't polled.

857
00:32:35,533 --> 00:32:36,683
That sounds dirty, doesn't it?

858
00:32:37,353 --> 00:32:39,743
That sounds dirty, and that's 'cause
we're going to the club tonight.

859
00:32:39,783 --> 00:32:40,753
I don't wanna get polled.

860
00:32:41,043 --> 00:32:41,733
You're not.

861
00:32:42,063 --> 00:32:42,563
You are.

862
00:32:44,253 --> 00:32:46,293
Sorry, off topic, but yeah.

863
00:32:46,343 --> 00:32:50,963
I know a lot of people who have got
discriminated just for wearing, like, the

864
00:32:51,013 --> 00:32:53,613
LGBTQ pin, like, the little pride pin.

865
00:32:53,843 --> 00:32:54,213
Yeah.

866
00:32:54,233 --> 00:32:58,113
Yeah, like, I mean, a lot of people
just don't know how to accept

867
00:32:58,443 --> 00:33:01,573
that not everybody follows the
rules that you think you have.

868
00:33:01,573 --> 00:33:03,309
Like- Well, yeah, that-
You know what I mean?

869
00:33:03,309 --> 00:33:04,993
Like- So that's, uh… I
go back to entitlement.

870
00:33:05,003 --> 00:33:05,793
I feel like that's a- Oh.

871
00:33:06,333 --> 00:33:10,113
… an entitlement issue, uh, because there's
a lot of people out there who feel like

872
00:33:10,123 --> 00:33:14,763
they live the right life and everybody
should live the life that they live.

873
00:33:14,833 --> 00:33:15,273
Yes.

874
00:33:15,653 --> 00:33:20,733
And if they don't- Yes … it's
their job to tell these people, "You

875
00:33:20,743 --> 00:33:22,713
need to live the right life- Yeah

876
00:33:22,713 --> 00:33:24,053
that I live." Yeah.

877
00:33:24,333 --> 00:33:27,003
"Because you're wrong,
and I'm right." Yeah.

878
00:33:27,293 --> 00:33:30,423
It's, it's kinda mind-blowing when
you think about it, and especially

879
00:33:30,423 --> 00:33:32,983
if you've listened to the way
I just said it, because damn.

880
00:33:33,253 --> 00:33:37,293
You break it down in terms like
that, it sounds kinda fucked up.

881
00:33:37,363 --> 00:33:37,823
It is.

882
00:33:37,923 --> 00:33:38,483
You know?

883
00:33:38,483 --> 00:33:40,583
But that's realistically the way it is.

884
00:33:40,673 --> 00:33:45,543
You have these people who just feel
like, "This is my-" I mean- "… this

885
00:33:45,553 --> 00:33:49,423
is my way of life, and you should
lead it." Not to get into politics.

886
00:33:49,633 --> 00:33:51,033
That's exactly what the world is.

887
00:33:51,103 --> 00:33:52,233
Oh, we're not getting into politics.

888
00:33:52,243 --> 00:33:52,983
We're not getting into politics.

889
00:33:53,003 --> 00:33:53,683
We're not talking politics.

890
00:33:53,683 --> 00:33:56,203
But that's exactly what the
fucking world is, period.

891
00:33:56,503 --> 00:33:56,663
Okay.

892
00:33:56,663 --> 00:33:57,753
But we're not talking politics.

893
00:33:57,753 --> 00:33:58,523
Well, listen to this, baby.

894
00:33:58,523 --> 00:34:00,383
But yeah, feed me, Seymour.

895
00:34:00,673 --> 00:34:01,183
I'll feed you.

896
00:34:01,183 --> 00:34:01,583
You ready?

897
00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:02,063
All right.

898
00:34:02,323 --> 00:34:05,263
The Kinsey Institute- Oh, the Kinsey
Institute … they did a research, okay?

899
00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:07,763
You know, there was a movie
about the Kinsey Institute.

900
00:34:07,873 --> 00:34:08,053
No.

901
00:34:08,303 --> 00:34:09,413
Yeah, I'll show it to
you one of these days.

902
00:34:09,523 --> 00:34:09,783
Okay.

903
00:34:10,233 --> 00:34:14,183
The Kinsey Institute research found
that one in six Americans would like to

904
00:34:14,193 --> 00:34:19,273
be in a polyamorous relationship, and
o- and one in nine already have been.

905
00:34:19,493 --> 00:34:23,913
Adam would love, he would love to- You
know, I was just thinking about this too

906
00:34:23,923 --> 00:34:27,613
… he would love to be in a polyamorous
relationship, but he's not going to be.

907
00:34:27,623 --> 00:34:31,453
But I don't have a wife who
will work with me on this, guys.

908
00:34:31,663 --> 00:34:33,003
She won't work with me on this.

909
00:34:33,043 --> 00:34:33,673
I've tried.

910
00:34:34,013 --> 00:34:35,633
I did it for five years.

911
00:34:35,633 --> 00:34:38,583
I mean, I, I'm, I'm at this point
now in my life with, if you wanna

912
00:34:38,603 --> 00:34:41,653
have a girlfriend, that's fine,
but she needs to help pay bills.

913
00:34:41,783 --> 00:34:42,463
Interesting.

914
00:34:42,683 --> 00:34:44,173
She's gotta be able to pay bills.

915
00:34:44,233 --> 00:34:48,053
She is not sleeping in my bed, and you
are not sleeping with her in her house.

916
00:34:48,283 --> 00:34:49,683
She's still gotta pay bills, though.

917
00:34:50,203 --> 00:34:52,413
So basically, I'm never sleeping with her.

918
00:34:52,753 --> 00:34:55,713
I can have sex with her, but I'm
never actually sleeping with her.

919
00:34:56,043 --> 00:34:59,793
No cuddling, and she's gotta pay
all the bills or just a bill?

920
00:35:00,063 --> 00:35:00,633
A bill.

921
00:35:00,783 --> 00:35:01,303
A bill?

922
00:35:01,343 --> 00:35:01,683
Yeah.

923
00:35:01,883 --> 00:35:02,813
Your car bill.

924
00:35:03,659 --> 00:35:04,489
Oh, that's a large- That's a large-

925
00:35:07,309 --> 00:35:09,849
But let, yeah … I go back
and forth with this sometimes.

926
00:35:09,859 --> 00:35:14,559
So do I. I, I have been very turned
off lately, or at least previously,

927
00:35:14,749 --> 00:35:16,839
just by interacting with people.

928
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:20,919
Not really turned off, but I just,
at the thought of being social, a-

929
00:35:21,029 --> 00:35:22,729
and it's primarily because of stress.

930
00:35:22,729 --> 00:35:23,959
We've been very stressed lately.

931
00:35:24,269 --> 00:35:28,219
And so it's just kind of made
me go back into my shell.

932
00:35:28,349 --> 00:35:30,959
Before the podcast, I was
very, very introverted.

933
00:35:31,009 --> 00:35:33,449
I had major, major social anxiety.

934
00:35:33,449 --> 00:35:34,729
I didn't talk to people.

935
00:35:34,779 --> 00:35:38,059
And, uh, the podcast kind of forced
me out of my shell on that, plus

936
00:35:38,059 --> 00:35:39,359
a lot of different other things.

937
00:35:39,439 --> 00:35:41,799
2025 was confident Adam,
that's what happened.

938
00:35:42,139 --> 00:35:47,939
But stress brought me back to this, I
don't know, very introverted feeling

939
00:35:47,939 --> 00:35:53,059
person who was forcing their way through
being extroverted as a podcaster.

940
00:35:53,099 --> 00:35:56,519
And it, I, I, I feel like I'm
just starting to kind of, the

941
00:35:56,519 --> 00:35:59,989
groundhog's just starting to crawl
out of the h- the, the little hole.

942
00:36:00,069 --> 00:36:00,489
Uh-huh.

943
00:36:00,539 --> 00:36:02,999
And, you know, a- am I gonna
see six more weeks of winter?

944
00:36:03,089 --> 00:36:04,739
Probably, probably.

945
00:36:04,949 --> 00:36:08,719
You know, we're, like, we're going
out tonight, and I know that my

946
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:12,229
wife is going to make attempts
to go have fun and do her thing.

947
00:36:12,259 --> 00:36:14,819
And you know the part that
really sounds fun to me?

948
00:36:15,099 --> 00:36:16,969
When you're getting
Whataburger and heading home?

949
00:36:17,069 --> 00:36:22,879
No, actually- … is watching you
go do your thing and being able to

950
00:36:22,879 --> 00:36:27,579
sit on the couch by myself, being
left alone just to people watch.

951
00:36:27,659 --> 00:36:30,769
That still does not go into this one
in six Americans wanna be poly outcome.

952
00:36:30,789 --> 00:36:31,489
No, no, no.

953
00:36:31,489 --> 00:36:31,809
No, no, no.

954
00:36:31,809 --> 00:36:32,889
Oh, but I'm getting there.

955
00:36:32,919 --> 00:36:33,549
I'm getting there.

956
00:36:33,549 --> 00:36:34,079
Okay, okay, go.

957
00:36:34,099 --> 00:36:34,809
So I'm getting there.

958
00:36:34,829 --> 00:36:36,659
So I'm just explaining where I was.

959
00:36:36,739 --> 00:36:37,049
Okay.

960
00:36:37,059 --> 00:36:37,379
Right?

961
00:36:37,599 --> 00:36:40,639
'Cause that's, but this is where I'm
starting to cl- to climb back out of.

962
00:36:40,859 --> 00:36:44,009
I had this thought the other
day that, you know, I really

963
00:36:44,009 --> 00:36:45,609
wouldn't mind having a girlfriend.

964
00:36:45,859 --> 00:36:47,519
You wouldn't… What's the head shaking?

965
00:36:47,529 --> 00:36:48,429
You wouldn't mind.

966
00:36:48,549 --> 00:36:49,539
I would not mind.

967
00:36:49,559 --> 00:36:49,939
Okay.

968
00:36:50,279 --> 00:36:51,149
I would not mind.

969
00:36:51,319 --> 00:36:53,089
But I'm not saying I'm going to.

970
00:36:53,099 --> 00:36:53,419
Uh-huh.

971
00:36:53,489 --> 00:36:55,769
And I'm not saying I have anybody
in mind, because I see your face.

972
00:36:56,049 --> 00:36:58,049
There is nothing behind that.

973
00:36:58,209 --> 00:36:58,599
Uh-huh.

974
00:36:58,629 --> 00:37:00,199
It's just a conversation, guys.

975
00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:01,449
Just a conversation.

976
00:37:01,749 --> 00:37:03,639
I mean, I would like to
have a rich boyfriend.

977
00:37:04,229 --> 00:37:05,539
Do you see how I put rich in there?

978
00:37:05,819 --> 00:37:07,169
I would like to have a rich girlfriend.

979
00:37:07,819 --> 00:37:10,189
Rich in love.

980
00:37:10,339 --> 00:37:12,029
Um- No, you don't need to love me.

981
00:37:12,559 --> 00:37:13,189
You don't have to love me.

982
00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:13,709
I don't give a shit.

983
00:37:13,709 --> 00:37:14,629
Oh, my gosh.

984
00:37:14,989 --> 00:37:16,019
Long as you pay a bill.

985
00:37:16,019 --> 00:37:16,929
Long as you pay a bill.

986
00:37:17,279 --> 00:37:20,309
Goodness, that is, that, see,
that's transactional right there.

987
00:37:20,329 --> 00:37:20,369
Is it?

988
00:37:20,369 --> 00:37:23,589
But that's literally transactional,
like you go into a bank transaction.

989
00:37:24,393 --> 00:37:28,193
Not that they know So you're part of
the one in six Americans You know, yeah,

990
00:37:28,193 --> 00:37:33,223
kinda, kinda Yeah I think i- if… I
think I would've loved to have pursued

991
00:37:33,223 --> 00:37:38,083
it the right way with you Yes I would've
enjoyed that Yeah I, and the thought-

992
00:37:38,143 --> 00:37:42,933
You know- … is still there I- and my,
an- I don't have the mental capacity

993
00:37:42,973 --> 00:37:47,353
at this moment to Well, and we got a
lot going on Yeah Yeah Like, I like

994
00:37:47,373 --> 00:37:49,943
the swinging lifestyle because- Yeah

995
00:37:49,943 --> 00:37:51,163
it's not very consistent.

996
00:37:51,433 --> 00:37:57,153
I mean, it's my lifestyle 24/7, but it's
not consistent in I have to interact with

997
00:37:57,153 --> 00:38:02,393
people So that is a good point And I think
when you're poly, you're in a relationship

998
00:38:02,393 --> 00:38:04,643
You're in a relationship You have to,
like, I have to interact with you.

999
00:38:04,643 --> 00:38:05,893
I'm married to you Yeah.

1000
00:38:05,893 --> 00:38:09,543
Yeah, yeah Some days I don't
want to, but I have to You know?

1001
00:38:09,773 --> 00:38:14,793
So it's like the swinging, I'm a swinger,
but I don't swing every day But, but you

1002
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:17,913
know, that goes back to something that we
were talking about earlier in the show.

1003
00:38:18,013 --> 00:38:22,703
Because even with what you said
there, you're equating polyamory

1004
00:38:22,723 --> 00:38:24,543
with having a relationship.

1005
00:38:24,783 --> 00:38:25,453
Yes.

1006
00:38:25,573 --> 00:38:28,063
You can be polyamorous and
not be in a relationship.

1007
00:38:28,063 --> 00:38:29,593
I understand that, but still.

1008
00:38:29,683 --> 00:38:31,253
So- I am not poly.

1009
00:38:31,263 --> 00:38:32,183
No, I got that.

1010
00:38:32,213 --> 00:38:33,233
No, I think we all got that.

1011
00:38:33,243 --> 00:38:36,573
Like, I don't label- No,
no … myself as a polyamorous person.

1012
00:38:36,573 --> 00:38:37,093
Right, right, right.

1013
00:38:37,213 --> 00:38:39,093
You're not a polyamorous person.

1014
00:38:39,143 --> 00:38:39,903
I know.

1015
00:38:40,063 --> 00:38:41,853
That's why we're talking about this.

1016
00:38:41,903 --> 00:38:45,343
In your brain- Yeah … you're
a polyamorous person.

1017
00:38:45,613 --> 00:38:46,333
Not even there.

1018
00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:51,613
In- In my brain, there's a little gnome
picture of you that chases around my

1019
00:38:51,613 --> 00:38:55,253
little head brain and goes, "You're not
gonna be in a polyamorous relationship.

1020
00:38:55,483 --> 00:38:58,353
I'm your wife." So I'm pretty sure
we're gonna get a lot of comments.

1021
00:38:58,643 --> 00:38:58,973
Oh, my gosh.

1022
00:38:58,973 --> 00:39:00,823
"Priscilla's so, she's so
controlling." She… Yes.

1023
00:39:01,113 --> 00:39:02,243
Hey, but you know what, guys?

1024
00:39:02,563 --> 00:39:08,003
I have my wife's back on this one because
I love her and I am willing to- Like-

1025
00:39:08,003 --> 00:39:10,183
… agree to this … and he's waiting.

1026
00:39:10,183 --> 00:39:11,973
I mean, this is something
we've talked about.

1027
00:39:11,973 --> 00:39:15,233
This is like right now- Yeah … in
our life, this, it's not the time.

1028
00:39:15,313 --> 00:39:16,513
It, it fluctuates.

1029
00:39:16,593 --> 00:39:17,450
It's not the time to bring anybody in.

1030
00:39:17,450 --> 00:39:19,123
And this, and this
conversation, it fluctuates.

1031
00:39:19,133 --> 00:39:22,143
And this is a really good point
for couples out there who are

1032
00:39:22,143 --> 00:39:23,183
listening to this sort of thing.

1033
00:39:23,203 --> 00:39:23,443
Yeah.

1034
00:39:23,483 --> 00:39:25,223
Because they… I, you know,
I get this all the time.

1035
00:39:25,223 --> 00:39:28,183
I get this message that always says
something like, "You know, this is

1036
00:39:28,183 --> 00:39:33,473
something I really want to pursue, but
I don't know how to talk to my partner

1037
00:39:33,473 --> 00:39:36,953
about this because I really don't think
they would be on board for this." Shut up.

1038
00:39:37,223 --> 00:39:42,223
You know, it, it, it's a very difficult
conversation when you say you wanna be…

1039
00:39:42,383 --> 00:39:44,153
He just said he thought about it.

1040
00:39:44,173 --> 00:39:46,743
And now in my brain I'm
like, "What the fuck are you

1041
00:39:46,753 --> 00:39:48,003
thinking about that for?" Yeah.

1042
00:39:48,083 --> 00:39:48,423
See?

1043
00:39:48,483 --> 00:39:49,523
And, and, and it's hard.

1044
00:39:49,753 --> 00:39:50,373
And so- It's hard.

1045
00:39:50,813 --> 00:39:52,463
And it can get uncomfortable.

1046
00:39:52,473 --> 00:39:52,493
Yeah.

1047
00:39:52,873 --> 00:39:54,203
But you know what, man?

1048
00:39:54,383 --> 00:39:57,653
Sometimes you just go- It doesn't
mean I want to do this now.

1049
00:39:57,993 --> 00:40:02,403
Sometimes you just have to bite the
bullet and i- if she slaps you or if

1050
00:40:02,403 --> 00:40:04,223
he slaps you when you're doing it.

1051
00:40:04,223 --> 00:40:06,033
You know, guys, I'm 44.

1052
00:40:06,033 --> 00:40:08,053
I just turned 44 in August.

1053
00:40:08,263 --> 00:40:10,833
I'm 44 years old and I- Are you 44 or 45?

1054
00:40:10,833 --> 00:40:10,993
I'm 44.

1055
00:40:11,043 --> 00:40:13,133
44. Bite your tongue.

1056
00:40:13,663 --> 00:40:19,493
I am 44 years old and I have reached that
point where I have less fucks to give.

1057
00:40:19,793 --> 00:40:20,213
Same.

1058
00:40:20,253 --> 00:40:24,123
And- Yeah … in our relationship,
don't take that the wrong way

1059
00:40:24,123 --> 00:40:28,103
because everything- No … what
you think i- is very important

1060
00:40:28,103 --> 00:40:29,053
to me and what you feel- Yeah

1061
00:40:29,193 --> 00:40:31,453
is very important to me and our
relationship is very important to me.

1062
00:40:31,463 --> 00:40:31,793
Yeah.

1063
00:40:32,053 --> 00:40:35,953
But at the same time, I feel good
enough in our relationship, solid

1064
00:40:35,953 --> 00:40:39,613
enough in our relationship to be able
to tell you- Yeah … that yeah, I

1065
00:40:39,613 --> 00:40:42,763
have those feelings that I would like
to be- Yeah … poly at some point.

1066
00:40:42,763 --> 00:40:45,903
Hey, I have those feelings that I feel
like you should be poly sometimes.

1067
00:40:46,423 --> 00:40:48,743
Are you saying that I'm, are, is this-
Just- … are you threatening me?

1068
00:40:49,133 --> 00:40:50,363
It's like- Are you
threatening me right now?

1069
00:40:50,363 --> 00:40:50,903
Go.

1070
00:40:50,903 --> 00:40:51,443
Yeah.

1071
00:40:51,443 --> 00:40:52,953
Go find a girlfriend, motherfucker.

1072
00:40:52,953 --> 00:40:53,503
Bye-bye.

1073
00:40:53,593 --> 00:40:56,613
You come back, good luck
if your key fucking works.

1074
00:40:56,683 --> 00:40:58,683
Yeah, I saw that Beyonce video.

1075
00:40:58,693 --> 00:41:03,123
So- I know all about it … I
mean, it's- Hey, being poly is, is

1076
00:41:03,133 --> 00:41:05,393
wonderful for those who are poly.

1077
00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:08,183
Good for you, and I'm glad that
this is happening for you guys.

1078
00:41:08,383 --> 00:41:10,423
The Alvarez household is not poly.

1079
00:41:10,983 --> 00:41:14,613
The Alvarez household can keep
wishing it is poly, but it's

1080
00:41:14,613 --> 00:41:16,413
not gonna be poly anytime soon.

1081
00:41:16,813 --> 00:41:18,153
Good conversation, Boo Boo.

1082
00:41:18,293 --> 00:41:19,613
Yeah, this was a great conversation.

1083
00:41:19,863 --> 00:41:20,563
Thank you so much.

1084
00:41:20,573 --> 00:41:21,523
You got that off your chest.

1085
00:41:21,713 --> 00:41:22,013
Yeah.

1086
00:41:22,013 --> 00:41:22,193
How does that feel?

1087
00:41:22,193 --> 00:41:22,483
Wow.

1088
00:41:22,483 --> 00:41:24,263
We're, uh… You know what, guys?

1089
00:41:24,633 --> 00:41:25,513
I feel good about it.

1090
00:41:25,893 --> 00:41:28,623
Feel, feel good about having
that conversation- I'm

1091
00:41:28,623 --> 00:41:30,703
glad … with your spouse because
obviously this worked so well.

1092
00:41:30,703 --> 00:41:31,233
I'm glad.

1093
00:41:31,273 --> 00:41:31,673
That's right.

1094
00:41:31,673 --> 00:41:32,013
That's good.

1095
00:41:32,013 --> 00:41:33,053
I'm glad you got it off your chest.

1096
00:41:33,053 --> 00:41:33,193
It's okay.

1097
00:41:33,193 --> 00:41:33,403
Give me kisses.

1098
00:41:33,403 --> 00:41:33,543
That's good.

1099
00:41:33,543 --> 00:41:33,683
Goodness gracious.

1100
00:41:33,683 --> 00:41:33,893
Keep going, baby.

1101
00:41:33,893 --> 00:41:34,213
You know she scares the

1102
00:41:37,843 --> 00:41:38,543
hell out of me, guys.

1103
00:41:39,283 --> 00:41:41,133
And just remember that if
we're ever on Dateline.

1104
00:41:41,453 --> 00:41:42,903
We will never be on Dateline.

1105
00:41:42,903 --> 00:41:44,213
I'm so much smarter than that.

1106
00:41:44,933 --> 00:41:47,093
Geez, that's scary.

1107
00:41:47,093 --> 00:41:50,163
I didn't say, "That's Gary." I said,
"That's scary." It is very scary.

1108
00:41:50,283 --> 00:41:50,983
Very scary, Harry Carey.

1109
00:41:50,993 --> 00:41:51,333
I know.

1110
00:41:51,503 --> 00:41:51,823
Yeah.

1111
00:41:52,033 --> 00:41:52,183
Yeah.

1112
00:41:52,353 --> 00:41:53,393
Well… Okay.

1113
00:41:53,553 --> 00:41:55,443
Anyways, back on target.

1114
00:41:55,703 --> 00:41:59,383
What we were getting to before we
started talking about all that was-

1115
00:41:59,543 --> 00:42:02,833
in that whole, in that whole
survey- Mm-hmm … those studies

1116
00:42:02,833 --> 00:42:05,783
that they did, they found that
there was no single type of person.

1117
00:42:06,043 --> 00:42:06,343
Okay.

1118
00:42:06,343 --> 00:42:09,633
You know, it cut through religion,
it cut through race, it cut

1119
00:42:09,633 --> 00:42:13,203
through political party, through
geography, and through income.

1120
00:42:13,293 --> 00:42:16,463
Like, it, it, it had a solid field there.

1121
00:42:16,673 --> 00:42:16,803
Oh.

1122
00:42:16,803 --> 00:42:19,133
It, it wasn't just zoned in on one thing.

1123
00:42:19,143 --> 00:42:19,173
Okay.

1124
00:42:19,183 --> 00:42:21,713
"Oh, it's, it's people who
don't go to church." Right.

1125
00:42:21,723 --> 00:42:21,983
No.

1126
00:42:21,993 --> 00:42:26,403
This, this whole thing was, you know,
these, these non-monogamous people

1127
00:42:26,563 --> 00:42:28,853
were throughout this entire cut.

1128
00:42:29,023 --> 00:42:29,503
Wow.

1129
00:42:29,553 --> 00:42:29,963
Yeah.

1130
00:42:30,063 --> 00:42:31,433
I mean, that's still a lot of people.

1131
00:42:31,673 --> 00:42:32,583
Yeah, yeah.

1132
00:42:32,703 --> 00:42:37,933
You know, the 2024 Match Singles
in America Report found 31% of

1133
00:42:37,933 --> 00:42:43,513
singles have explored consensual
non-monogamy, yet only 49% still call

1134
00:42:43,513 --> 00:42:45,753
traditional monogamy their ideal.

1135
00:42:46,033 --> 00:42:47,213
That makes kinda sense.

1136
00:42:47,223 --> 00:42:47,903
Yeah, yeah.

1137
00:42:48,013 --> 00:42:48,403
Yeah.

1138
00:42:48,413 --> 00:42:48,993
Well, both can be true.

1139
00:42:49,043 --> 00:42:50,283
Both can be true, for sure.

1140
00:42:50,293 --> 00:42:55,171
Like, I mean, again, a lot of people
just don't like to- The exploration

1141
00:42:55,171 --> 00:43:00,621
of consensual non-monogamy is a
very scary area for some people.

1142
00:43:00,841 --> 00:43:01,131
Yeah.

1143
00:43:01,301 --> 00:43:06,461
Because as a woman, I'm speaking,
it, it feels… You sometimes you

1144
00:43:06,461 --> 00:43:09,791
feel like you're not worth it or
what i- what's wrong with you that

1145
00:43:09,791 --> 00:43:14,251
my husband or my spouse wants to
go and, and find another person?

1146
00:43:14,411 --> 00:43:16,911
So yeah, that could be a
little scary for people.

1147
00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:17,351
Yeah.

1148
00:43:17,351 --> 00:43:20,671
You know, it… Well, that revolves
around insecurities, you know?

1149
00:43:20,681 --> 00:43:21,071
For sure.

1150
00:43:21,071 --> 00:43:26,081
And that's, that's the hardest part
and when with any form of relationship,

1151
00:43:26,591 --> 00:43:27,491
uh, that you have out there.

1152
00:43:27,801 --> 00:43:31,541
Now, you know, one of the, the
big arguments- Okay … is when

1153
00:43:31,541 --> 00:43:33,341
it comes to these laws- Mm-hmm

1154
00:43:33,351 --> 00:43:35,771
that they're doing out in Seattle
and those other cities listed.

1155
00:43:35,811 --> 00:43:36,061
Mm-hmm.

1156
00:43:36,121 --> 00:43:42,161
There's a difference between orientation
and choice, and we hear this all the time.

1157
00:43:42,211 --> 00:43:45,551
You know, w- there are people out
there who, you know, they, they

1158
00:43:45,551 --> 00:43:49,451
grew up their lifestyle, they've
always been non-monogamous.

1159
00:43:49,541 --> 00:43:49,831
Okay.

1160
00:43:49,841 --> 00:43:50,521
Kinda like you and I.

1161
00:43:50,771 --> 00:43:51,111
Right.

1162
00:43:51,401 --> 00:43:55,611
I, I knew from very long ago
that I was non-monogamous.

1163
00:43:55,611 --> 00:43:57,371
I just didn't know that
there was a name for it.

1164
00:43:57,541 --> 00:43:57,831
Right.

1165
00:43:57,861 --> 00:43:59,811
I knew that… I thought
there was something wrong

1166
00:43:59,811 --> 00:44:01,651
with me a long, long time ago.

1167
00:44:01,661 --> 00:44:05,131
Mm. You, on the other hand,
you could be monogamous easily.

1168
00:44:05,211 --> 00:44:06,081
I could be monogamous.

1169
00:44:06,101 --> 00:44:08,041
I still s- And you pull towards that

1170
00:44:08,081 --> 00:44:12,071
we, we actually just yesterday
we were- Uh-huh … driving and

1171
00:44:12,071 --> 00:44:15,191
I was like, "Hey, so what is…"
Well, I asked you a question.

1172
00:44:15,191 --> 00:44:17,311
I said, "What does sluttiness
mean to you?" Yeah.

1173
00:44:17,461 --> 00:44:19,641
Like, how does someone express sluttiness?

1174
00:44:19,681 --> 00:44:23,821
Like, how, how should… How can,
how can a person or how can me

1175
00:44:23,971 --> 00:44:26,201
show you that I'm a slutty wife?

1176
00:44:26,351 --> 00:44:28,971
Like, what are those things
that you look at, right?

1177
00:44:28,971 --> 00:44:29,121
Yeah.

1178
00:44:29,121 --> 00:44:31,051
And you, you, you named some of them.

1179
00:44:31,171 --> 00:44:34,211
I said, "Well, are you always in the mood
for that?" And you're like, "Yeah, pretty

1180
00:44:34,211 --> 00:44:38,351
much." 'Cause in my mind I still have a
mon… I've been with you for 15 years.

1181
00:44:38,391 --> 00:44:38,641
Yeah.

1182
00:44:38,641 --> 00:44:41,781
I've always been
monogamous previous to you.

1183
00:44:41,901 --> 00:44:46,991
So that's, that's what, 30, 30
something years in my brain of

1184
00:44:46,991 --> 00:44:49,231
just thinking I'm monogamous.

1185
00:44:49,231 --> 00:44:49,271
Yeah.

1186
00:44:49,271 --> 00:44:52,341
And though I don't wanna s- I
don't wanna trigger jealousy.

1187
00:44:52,531 --> 00:44:52,871
Right.

1188
00:44:52,951 --> 00:44:54,201
I don't wanna trigger this.

1189
00:44:54,461 --> 00:44:56,421
Because things like that still trigger me.

1190
00:44:56,581 --> 00:44:58,111
And so- And it, it feels wrong.

1191
00:44:58,241 --> 00:44:58,611
Yeah.

1192
00:44:58,611 --> 00:44:59,901
So- Yeah … I don't know.

1193
00:45:00,211 --> 00:45:03,131
Um, and so sometimes it's, it's
very difficult for me to, to

1194
00:45:03,821 --> 00:45:05,791
be, in my brain, non-monogamous.

1195
00:45:05,801 --> 00:45:08,251
And see, that's the,
that's the argument there.

1196
00:45:08,391 --> 00:45:12,841
So in between the two of us, I'd be
the orientation, you'd be the choice.

1197
00:45:12,851 --> 00:45:13,241
Yeah.

1198
00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:15,921
I am non-monogamous by nature.

1199
00:45:15,971 --> 00:45:16,271
Right.

1200
00:45:16,331 --> 00:45:19,581
And was pretending to be
monogamous for so many years.

1201
00:45:19,631 --> 00:45:19,911
Yeah.

1202
00:45:19,971 --> 00:45:25,321
And you are monogamous by nature,
and it's your choice to do this.

1203
00:45:25,551 --> 00:45:28,671
So would- Yes … that law
cover both of us equally?

1204
00:45:28,971 --> 00:45:29,731
I think so.

1205
00:45:30,475 --> 00:45:30,755
Yeah?

1206
00:45:30,805 --> 00:45:31,535
I think so.

1207
00:45:31,615 --> 00:45:32,985
Because, I mean, why wouldn't it?

1208
00:45:33,195 --> 00:45:33,695
You know?

1209
00:45:33,815 --> 00:45:34,385
Why wouldn't it?

1210
00:45:34,385 --> 00:45:37,845
It's a, it's a choice, and
whether… It, I mean, it is an

1211
00:45:37,845 --> 00:45:42,205
orientation, and it is a choice,
and I think the two go hand-in-hand.

1212
00:45:42,385 --> 00:45:42,815
Yeah.

1213
00:45:42,995 --> 00:45:43,285
Yeah.

1214
00:45:43,285 --> 00:45:45,335
I mean, they go hand-in-hand in reality.

1215
00:45:45,535 --> 00:45:49,555
You know, I kinda wonder, though,
would, would a law like this change

1216
00:45:49,565 --> 00:45:53,315
hearts and minds throughout the,
the world, or even nationally?

1217
00:45:53,785 --> 00:45:58,975
Or do you think that, I don't know, doing
this… I mean, there's still a lot of

1218
00:45:58,985 --> 00:46:01,515
states that refuse, uh, gay marriage.

1219
00:46:01,525 --> 00:46:02,055
No.

1220
00:46:02,085 --> 00:46:02,655
Oh, yeah.

1221
00:46:02,925 --> 00:46:05,805
And y- you know, it- it's, it's one
of those things where it's like,

1222
00:46:05,995 --> 00:46:09,035
it, you remember seeing it when
the first one happened, and you,

1223
00:46:09,085 --> 00:46:11,965
they- Mm-hmm … saw it on TV, and
it was such a m- a beautiful thing.

1224
00:46:12,005 --> 00:46:12,925
And then they took it away.

1225
00:46:12,985 --> 00:46:14,155
And then they took it away.

1226
00:46:14,205 --> 00:46:14,899
And then they brought it back.

1227
00:46:14,899 --> 00:46:15,845
And then they brought it back.

1228
00:46:16,035 --> 00:46:20,625
And, and you know, it's- I feel like-
It's like it hasn't, it hasn't spread yet.

1229
00:46:20,635 --> 00:46:24,765
So it, it's like would this even
change hearts and minds, or would it

1230
00:46:24,765 --> 00:46:26,415
really just kinda piss people off?

1231
00:46:26,415 --> 00:46:29,615
I, I really feel like it
shouldn't even be a question.

1232
00:46:29,615 --> 00:46:29,775
Mm-hmm.

1233
00:46:29,785 --> 00:46:35,575
But as the world, as it is, again, I
hate to do this, but I'm gonna do it.

1234
00:46:35,615 --> 00:46:38,125
You can edit it out if you want
to, but this is what it is.

1235
00:46:38,165 --> 00:46:41,685
Everybody, all these law people,
all these people who put into

1236
00:46:41,685 --> 00:46:46,805
law certain things are going by a
fucking book, and what is that book?

1237
00:46:46,935 --> 00:46:47,515
It's the Bible.

1238
00:46:47,525 --> 00:46:47,555
Mm-hmm.

1239
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:50,865
The Bible says this, the Bible
says that, the Bible does

1240
00:46:50,865 --> 00:46:52,375
this, and you gotta do that.

1241
00:46:52,505 --> 00:46:53,115
No, guys.

1242
00:46:53,385 --> 00:46:54,755
That's not how the world works.

1243
00:46:54,785 --> 00:46:59,445
Like, if you get out of the, that
mentality, people are just people.

1244
00:46:59,545 --> 00:47:02,785
We, we're, we are our own,
we are our own objects.

1245
00:47:02,785 --> 00:47:04,185
Like, we could do whatever we want.

1246
00:47:04,405 --> 00:47:07,805
It's not, unfortunately, gonna
change the minds of anybody

1247
00:47:07,885 --> 00:47:09,415
until we start fighting more.

1248
00:47:09,939 --> 00:47:12,609
And there's a lot of people that
don't wanna fight There are a lot of

1249
00:47:12,619 --> 00:47:13,659
people that don't- They're exhausted

1250
00:47:13,659 --> 00:47:14,219
wanna fight.

1251
00:47:14,259 --> 00:47:14,819
Yeah, yeah.

1252
00:47:14,819 --> 00:47:15,419
They're exhausted.

1253
00:47:15,419 --> 00:47:16,669
You know, it, it's, it's hard.

1254
00:47:16,679 --> 00:47:16,699
Yeah.

1255
00:47:16,709 --> 00:47:19,189
It's hard to fight when
you've got- I- … opposition.

1256
00:47:19,189 --> 00:47:19,539
Yeah.

1257
00:47:19,539 --> 00:47:22,459
And I feel like if we keep talking
about it, and there's places to

1258
00:47:22,459 --> 00:47:24,499
talk about it, like Beyond Monogamy.

1259
00:47:25,079 --> 00:47:25,249
Yeah.

1260
00:47:25,419 --> 00:47:26,399
With Adam and Pris.

1261
00:47:26,469 --> 00:47:27,049
That's right.

1262
00:47:27,129 --> 00:47:30,749
I feel like if we keep discussing
things like this, and we keep bringing

1263
00:47:30,749 --> 00:47:36,339
it up to the forefront, there is a
chance for more places to change it.

1264
00:47:36,599 --> 00:47:39,779
Well, you know, that's really the
number one reason that we have

1265
00:47:39,779 --> 00:47:45,199
this show, is to normalize these
conversations as best as we can.

1266
00:47:45,209 --> 00:47:45,239
Mm-hmm.

1267
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:50,419
And, and, uh, we're not just talking about
normalizing polyamorous conversations.

1268
00:47:50,669 --> 00:47:55,379
We're talking about normalizing sexual
conversations, talking about your kinks,

1269
00:47:55,409 --> 00:47:57,859
being able to discuss things openly.

1270
00:47:57,869 --> 00:47:57,889
Mm-hmm.

1271
00:47:58,069 --> 00:48:02,649
I'm not talking about getting into details
on public transportation about- Yeah

1272
00:48:02,649 --> 00:48:04,259
… how you're fucking somebody in the ass.

1273
00:48:04,289 --> 00:48:10,149
I'm talking about being able to be
yourself and have those normalized

1274
00:48:10,149 --> 00:48:12,809
conversations that me and my wife have.

1275
00:48:12,859 --> 00:48:13,939
I think you- You know?

1276
00:48:13,969 --> 00:48:15,619
I mean, it, you should feel okay.

1277
00:48:15,689 --> 00:48:18,319
That's exactly ex- exactly what you said.

1278
00:48:18,539 --> 00:48:18,859
Yeah.

1279
00:48:18,889 --> 00:48:19,219
Yeah.

1280
00:48:19,379 --> 00:48:20,509
You should feel okay.

1281
00:48:20,509 --> 00:48:21,229
You should feel okay.

1282
00:48:21,229 --> 00:48:23,079
Being able to say the thing.

1283
00:48:23,399 --> 00:48:26,729
It shouldn't just be- Without judgment
… it shouldn't just be paperwork.

1284
00:48:26,879 --> 00:48:26,899
Yeah.

1285
00:48:26,909 --> 00:48:28,469
It should be everything.

1286
00:48:28,509 --> 00:48:29,249
Everything.

1287
00:48:29,249 --> 00:48:32,469
Like, you should, you should be able
to live the life that you wanna live.

1288
00:48:32,549 --> 00:48:35,589
And it is a, it's, it's a fight, guys.

1289
00:48:35,599 --> 00:48:36,369
Like, I get it.

1290
00:48:36,389 --> 00:48:37,269
It's exhausting.

1291
00:48:37,269 --> 00:48:41,939
But I feel like the more we do it, and the
more we get in front of people, it might

1292
00:48:41,939 --> 00:48:43,859
change hearts and it might change minds.

1293
00:48:43,929 --> 00:48:48,939
Well, you know, a member of Seattle's
LGBTQ Commission said, "This is really

1294
00:48:48,939 --> 00:48:53,809
about the law catching up with how
people actually live in this community."

1295
00:48:54,059 --> 00:48:54,649
Amen.

1296
00:48:54,759 --> 00:48:59,401
Now, with that, you know, I was thinking
about something Because like I said,

1297
00:48:59,401 --> 00:49:04,491
I, I, I follow a lot of polyamory-
Yes … and polyamorous people on TikTok.

1298
00:49:04,661 --> 00:49:04,861
Yes.

1299
00:49:05,171 --> 00:49:05,391
Yeah.

1300
00:49:05,451 --> 00:49:09,931
And, uh- Do you just sit there and gaze
and be like… I'm like, "The grass

1301
00:49:09,931 --> 00:49:12,291
is always greener." Yes, it is green.

1302
00:49:12,291 --> 00:49:13,211
You go ahead and try that.

1303
00:49:13,211 --> 00:49:14,281
Baby, stop it.

1304
00:49:14,631 --> 00:49:15,451
Geez, man.

1305
00:49:15,971 --> 00:49:18,411
I'm not getting laid after
this, I'm telling you.

1306
00:49:18,411 --> 00:49:20,951
But, you know, I, I, I follow a
lot of different people on there.

1307
00:49:20,951 --> 00:49:20,971
Yeah.

1308
00:49:20,971 --> 00:49:24,521
And there's one in particular that,
that I always see pop up on my feed.

1309
00:49:24,521 --> 00:49:25,551
They're, they're a throuple.

1310
00:49:25,941 --> 00:49:29,531
Now, this particular throuple,
it's a, it's a couple initially

1311
00:49:29,741 --> 00:49:31,231
that they're, they're married.

1312
00:49:31,741 --> 00:49:32,821
They're, they're man and wife.

1313
00:49:32,911 --> 00:49:36,601
They both came to the relationship
with kids and had kids together.

1314
00:49:36,681 --> 00:49:38,601
She realized she was bisexual.

1315
00:49:38,741 --> 00:49:42,601
They decided to, you
know, pursue or whatever.

1316
00:49:42,601 --> 00:49:44,041
I, I don't know the exact story on that.

1317
00:49:44,041 --> 00:49:50,081
But they end up finding this woman, and
they end up pursuing a relationship with

1318
00:49:50,081 --> 00:49:51,871
this woman, and it became a throuple.

1319
00:49:51,891 --> 00:49:54,051
Now, they've been a
throuple for four years.

1320
00:49:54,311 --> 00:49:58,101
Now, this woman that they're with
also has kids, and they're… They've

1321
00:49:58,101 --> 00:50:02,531
been doing it successfully, the three
of them, for about four years now.

1322
00:50:02,771 --> 00:50:03,161
Wow.

1323
00:50:03,691 --> 00:50:07,991
And I… It, it's fascinating to me
because, you know, when we think of

1324
00:50:07,991 --> 00:50:11,551
family, we think of you and I, our kids.

1325
00:50:11,951 --> 00:50:11,971
Mm-hmm.

1326
00:50:11,981 --> 00:50:12,941
You know, that's our family.

1327
00:50:13,071 --> 00:50:13,281
Right.

1328
00:50:13,881 --> 00:50:16,021
We have friends that we consider family.

1329
00:50:16,031 --> 00:50:16,331
Oh, yeah.

1330
00:50:16,331 --> 00:50:17,251
But that's our family.

1331
00:50:17,391 --> 00:50:17,721
Yes.

1332
00:50:17,781 --> 00:50:23,189
In a situation like that- Mm-hmm … you
have to consider- They're all family

1333
00:50:23,199 --> 00:50:27,339
They're all family And you know, what,
like, what, what is- Well- What is

1334
00:50:27,339 --> 00:50:28,599
family- We have always- … to you?

1335
00:50:28,609 --> 00:50:33,009
You and I have always said that
people you bring into your home,

1336
00:50:33,029 --> 00:50:33,919
people that you bring in…

1337
00:50:33,959 --> 00:50:37,639
We've always had friends- Yeah … that
we have brought into our lives,

1338
00:50:37,659 --> 00:50:40,019
and we consider them as family.

1339
00:50:40,099 --> 00:50:40,339
Yeah.

1340
00:50:40,549 --> 00:50:43,829
We have family that we
consider not family.

1341
00:50:44,339 --> 00:50:44,579
True.

1342
00:50:44,669 --> 00:50:46,809
So it's not- Blood is not always
thicker … it's, it's not always

1343
00:50:46,819 --> 00:50:51,279
blood, blood relation because, I
mean, we have a lot of friends.

1344
00:50:51,299 --> 00:50:54,169
We don't talk to anybody in
our family, and the people that

1345
00:50:54,169 --> 00:50:58,119
we do have are considered our
family, and they're all friends.

1346
00:50:58,119 --> 00:51:01,799
So especially, I mean, like
us, we're a blended family.

1347
00:51:01,829 --> 00:51:02,349
Yeah, we are.

1348
00:51:02,459 --> 00:51:07,589
You know, our children do not call each
other my stepbrother- Mm … my stepdad.

1349
00:51:08,189 --> 00:51:08,829
We're just family.

1350
00:51:08,839 --> 00:51:13,259
You know, if they're referring to us
outside of the house, I don't… I, I

1351
00:51:13,309 --> 00:51:17,249
mean, we've taught them, you know, you do
what you want, but we've never done that.

1352
00:51:17,249 --> 00:51:21,199
We've never been like, "They're your
stepsister. They're your stepbrother." But

1353
00:51:21,229 --> 00:51:23,569
Adam and I are also from blended families.

1354
00:51:23,569 --> 00:51:23,839
Yeah.

1355
00:51:24,089 --> 00:51:24,369
Yeah.

1356
00:51:24,439 --> 00:51:25,989
So you were raised the same way.

1357
00:51:26,579 --> 00:51:26,909
Yeah.

1358
00:51:26,949 --> 00:51:29,389
You didn't call your- No … sisters
your half-sisters, you know?

1359
00:51:29,389 --> 00:51:30,349
No, they were my sisters.

1360
00:51:30,349 --> 00:51:30,359
Yeah.

1361
00:51:30,359 --> 00:51:31,819
Yeah Or your stepsisters.

1362
00:51:31,889 --> 00:51:32,199
Right.

1363
00:51:32,199 --> 00:51:34,379
And I did not do this, and I
didn't do the same thing either.

1364
00:51:34,399 --> 00:51:39,559
So it is, um, it's, it's who you bring
into your home and who loves you and

1365
00:51:39,559 --> 00:51:41,829
who you love is, is your family, so.

1366
00:51:41,839 --> 00:51:42,269
Yeah.

1367
00:51:42,289 --> 00:51:42,599
Yeah.

1368
00:51:42,599 --> 00:51:46,839
You know, that's, that's the biggest
thing, is being able to have the

1369
00:51:46,839 --> 00:51:49,809
freedom to say who your family is.

1370
00:51:49,819 --> 00:51:49,849
Yes.

1371
00:51:49,849 --> 00:51:53,929
Now, I, I think, uh, the problem
with a lot of, of the way we live is

1372
00:51:53,939 --> 00:51:58,479
that people don't feel comfortable
enough to be their true selves- Mm-hmm

1373
00:51:58,509 --> 00:51:59,999
because of discrimination.

1374
00:52:00,009 --> 00:52:00,049
Mm-hmm.

1375
00:52:00,059 --> 00:52:05,399
And the fact that we have to make laws to,
to make that better is an uphill battle.

1376
00:52:05,429 --> 00:52:08,399
Mm. But I think it's one
that's worth winning.

1377
00:52:08,469 --> 00:52:09,309
I think so.

1378
00:52:09,309 --> 00:52:10,919
And I'm hopeful that
it's going to continue.

1379
00:52:11,009 --> 00:52:11,979
I think so, too.

1380
00:52:11,979 --> 00:52:12,529
I love that.

1381
00:52:12,529 --> 00:52:15,619
You know what stands out to me, is
that all this comes down to one thing.

1382
00:52:15,679 --> 00:52:19,149
People just want to love honestly and
not lose their jobs or homes for it.

1383
00:52:19,469 --> 00:52:20,379
Yeah, exactly.

1384
00:52:20,399 --> 00:52:24,639
Uh, whether you're poly, swinging,
or somewhere in between, everyone

1385
00:52:24,639 --> 00:52:27,509
deserves to live openly without fear.

1386
00:52:27,689 --> 00:52:31,909
And now we know a city can
say that out loud in law.

1387
00:52:32,219 --> 00:52:34,699
So let's see who follows Seattle next.

1388
00:52:34,699 --> 00:52:35,269
I'm curious.

1389
00:52:35,549 --> 00:52:35,829
Oh, man.

1390
00:52:35,829 --> 00:52:36,679
That would be so nice.

1391
00:52:36,689 --> 00:52:37,169
Yeah.

1392
00:52:37,209 --> 00:52:37,539
Yeah.

1393
00:52:37,559 --> 00:52:37,779
So nice.

1394
00:52:37,799 --> 00:52:42,759
Now, before we go, if you've loved this
episode, please like, subscribe, and share

1395
00:52:42,759 --> 00:52:47,723
it It's the number one way that new people
will find us And we love your reviews.

1396
00:52:47,893 --> 00:52:50,973
So take a minute to leave us
a review on Apple Podcasts

1397
00:52:50,993 --> 00:52:52,513
or wherever you're listening.

1398
00:52:52,673 --> 00:52:54,563
It helps more than you
know, and we read them.

1399
00:52:54,823 --> 00:52:55,573
Yeah, we do.

1400
00:52:55,733 --> 00:52:58,383
Everything we do lives
at beyond-monogamy.com.

1401
00:52:58,383 --> 00:53:03,023
Our episodes, our blogs, our merch, and
our events tab, which shows everything

1402
00:53:03,023 --> 00:53:07,893
w- that we have coming up, including
our Swinger 101 workshop in Austin

1403
00:53:07,893 --> 00:53:10,093
at Forbidden Fruit on November 15th.

1404
00:53:10,093 --> 00:53:11,563
So- That is gonna be so much fun.

1405
00:53:11,613 --> 00:53:12,483
That is gonna be fun.

1406
00:53:12,483 --> 00:53:14,133
So you be sure and check that out.

1407
00:53:14,133 --> 00:53:17,593
If you're interested and you're in
the area, definitely come and see us.

1408
00:53:17,613 --> 00:53:18,583
Come hang out with us.

1409
00:53:18,643 --> 00:53:20,013
An hour with Pris and Adam.

1410
00:53:20,053 --> 00:53:20,623
My goodness.

1411
00:53:20,783 --> 00:53:21,003
Yes.

1412
00:53:21,013 --> 00:53:23,183
And that's in person, guys.

1413
00:53:23,233 --> 00:53:24,033
It is in person.

1414
00:53:24,033 --> 00:53:24,643
It is, yeah.

1415
00:53:24,963 --> 00:53:28,663
You can also use our 100% anonymous
confessional to send us your thoughts

1416
00:53:28,693 --> 00:53:32,303
on the lifestyle, ENM, kink, the show,
or anything else that's on your mind.

1417
00:53:32,733 --> 00:53:33,013
Yeah.

1418
00:53:33,013 --> 00:53:36,973
And you can also catch us on
fullswapradio.com every Thursday

1419
00:53:36,973 --> 00:53:39,343
at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central.

1420
00:53:39,343 --> 00:53:40,143
You know where to find us.

1421
00:53:40,333 --> 00:53:44,104
And mark your calendars for Krazy
Winter Nights in Kansas City.

1422
00:53:44,124 --> 00:53:44,894
Yeah.

1423
00:53:44,924 --> 00:53:48,534
February 19th through 20- ooh, it's
February 19th through the 21st.

1424
00:53:48,584 --> 00:53:50,104
We're gonna be there a long time, huh?

1425
00:53:50,124 --> 00:53:51,024
We're gonna be there a bit.

1426
00:53:51,064 --> 00:53:51,944
That's gonna be fun.

1427
00:53:51,944 --> 00:53:58,984
You can use code BEYOMONO, that's
B-E-Y-O-M-O-N-O, at krazykasbh.com.

1428
00:53:59,114 --> 00:54:00,724
That's right, and you should
be able to see that right

1429
00:54:00,764 --> 00:54:02,034
here- … 'cause I have it pop up.

1430
00:54:02,074 --> 00:54:02,604
Okay.

1431
00:54:02,704 --> 00:54:02,954
Yeah.

1432
00:54:02,954 --> 00:54:03,204
Oh, you do?

1433
00:54:03,354 --> 00:54:03,774
I do.

1434
00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:04,384
You're so cool.

1435
00:54:04,414 --> 00:54:04,904
I know.

1436
00:54:04,954 --> 00:54:07,664
And thanks to our friends at
3Fun for supporting the show.

1437
00:54:07,704 --> 00:54:14,114
Use code TK11932 if you wanna meet
like-minded people in the lifestyle.

1438
00:54:14,114 --> 00:54:15,614
Boy, that was a, that was a lot.

1439
00:54:15,784 --> 00:54:15,934
Yeah.

1440
00:54:16,004 --> 00:54:16,614
That was a lot.

1441
00:54:16,914 --> 00:54:20,754
And if you're a swinger or an ENM
couple in the Austin area, check out

1442
00:54:20,814 --> 00:54:25,154
SDC with our discount code 38236.

1443
00:54:25,334 --> 00:54:26,894
That's all gonna be in the
show notes, by the way.

1444
00:54:27,014 --> 00:54:29,534
And with that, as
always, we love you guys.

1445
00:54:29,564 --> 00:54:31,804
We thank you all for joining us,
and we hope that you're gonna

1446
00:54:31,804 --> 00:54:33,084
join us for another episode.

1447
00:54:33,364 --> 00:54:35,024
We will see you guys next week.

1448
00:54:35,414 --> 00:54:35,804
Bye.