Sept. 28, 2025

Non-Monogamy & The Law: Jonathan Lane on Custody, Contracts & Protecting Non-Traditional Families

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Non-Monogamy & The Law: Jonathan Lane on Custody, Contracts & Protecting Non-Traditional Families
Non-Monogamy & The Law: Jonathan Lane on Custody, Contracts & Protecting Non-Traditional Families
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Season 2

Family law gets real when you're living outside the box of traditional monogamy. In this episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we sit down with Maryland/DC attorney Jonathan Lane, a polyamorous lawyer who specializes in ethical non-monogamy, custody battles, divorce, inheritance, and family protections.

Jonathan breaks down everything ENM and polyamorous families need to know about child custody risks, de facto parent status, divorce disputes, property ownership, wills, medical directives, employment discrimination, and how judges actually view non-traditional families in court.

Whether you're a swinger, poly, or exploring ENM, this is one of those conversations that could protect your kids, your partners, and your lifestyle. If you've ever worried about being "outed" in court, losing custody, or what happens if your throuple breaks up—this episode is packed with answers.

📝 Show Notes (SEO-Optimized)

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In this week's episode, we're diving deep into the legal side of ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and swinging with Jonathan Lane, a Maryland/DC attorney who is out as poly himself and dedicated to protecting non-traditional families in the courtroom.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

  • ⚖️ Custody & Courts — How judges view ENM parents, the "best interest of the child" standard, and why outcomes often depend on your county.

  • 👩‍👩‍👧 De Facto Parent Status — What it means, how it protects non-bio/non-adoptive parents, and the strict criteria involved.

  • 💔 Divorce & Breakups — Why written agreements, even texts, matter when disputes over cheating or swinging arise.

  • 🏡 Property, Inheritance & Wills — How throuples/quads can own property together, protect assets, and secure inheritance rights.

  • 🏥 Medical Directives & Power of Attorney — Why ENM partners should set these up before emergencies.

  • 👩‍⚖️ Employment Discrimination — Why "at will" jobs can be risky, and where (Cambridge, Somerville, Berkeley, Oakland) ENM is starting to see protections.

  • 🌎 Cultural Shifts — How awareness and acceptance of non-monogamy are growing nationwide, even if the laws are still catching up.

Jonathan also shares stories from real cases where polyamory and kink showed up in court, from custody battles to divorce disputes—and what lessons we can all take from them.

🔗 Links & Resources

Jonathan Lane Profile Photo

Jonathan Lane

Attorney At Law

Jonathan D. Lane is a family law attorney and mediator who specializes in serving nontraditional, ethically non-monogamous, LGBTQ+, and sexually diverse communities. He is the founder of JD Lane Law (Maryland & Washington, DC), and his practice focuses on divorce, child custody, de facto parenthood, premarital agreements, and protections for families outside the “traditional” model. Jonathan is known for bringing both compassion and legal rigor to complex relational dynamics. He has co-authored influential legal scholarship on polyamorous and multi-partner families—especially how courts should apply the “best interests of the child” standard in custody cases involving polyamory.

He earned his law degree from the University of Pennsylvania Law School, where he was Executive Editor of the Journal of Law and Social Change, and holds an undergraduate degree (summa cum laude) from Washington University in St. Louis. In practice, Jonathan has secured groundbreaking results—such as winning a three-parent custody case in Maryland leveraging de facto parenthood doctrine. He also successfully argued appeals in family law cases, pushing courts toward more inclusive interpretations of parental rights for nontraditional families. Jonathan is a sought-after speaker and thought leader. He has presented on legal futures for multi-partner families at the Sexual Freedom Summit and has been cited in major media outlets like The New York Times on topics of polyamory and co-parenting law.

Working philosophy: He believes that laws should adapt to the real diversity of h… Read More