Navigating the Pressures of Play

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only.

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We explore topics surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships,

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and related subjects in an open and candid manner. Please be

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advised that we are not licensed marriage or sex therapists, and the content

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shared here is for entertainment and informational purposes only.

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If you are under 18 years of age or prefer not to engage with

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discussions about sex, relationships, or mature language,

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we strongly recommend that you refrain from listening further.

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However, if you are of legal age and comfortable with this content,

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we invite you to settle in and enjoy the show.

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Hello and welcome to Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm Pris.

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And today we're talking about the pressures of play.

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What is that? Well, so I've. I've noticed

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something. I was thinking about this. When we first started the lifestyle,

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there was a lot of situations where I didn't

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feel 100% comfortable going into it,

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but I just kind of threw myself in. Right. I noticed

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when there were. There were certain times, like, say, we were with another couple,

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the other couple wanted to play, you were into it. And so even if

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I wasn't feeling into it, I would still do it because I

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didn't. I didn't want. Not necessarily taking one for the team. But I just didn't

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want. I didn't feel comfortable speaking up and saying no. Yeah.

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You know what I'm saying? So I felt pressured into going, okay, let's go

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ahead and do this. Even though I really wasn't feeling it. Yeah. And I think

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I've been there. I think a lot of people do that, I'm sure, especially people

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who are new to the lifestyle. It's. I.

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I would think difficult to say no or

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to say not tonight or. I would think so, because they're.

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They're afraid to hurt feelings or be

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embarrassed or what if it causes a scene? You don't want

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to be labeled. You don't want to be labeled. You don't want to be the

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one to, like, stop the fun. I. I have definitely. Probably more

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so in the beginning than. Than. So, yeah. When I.

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When we were newer. Yeah. Now I. But now

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I'd say you're pretty good at being able to say

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no. You found your no. Yeah. Like, you've. You've asked me, hey,

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I'm talking to this girl. And they play together,

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and they play separately. Are you interested in the. In the.

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In the husband? And I'll be like,

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no, you go ahead. You know,

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so it is now I am able to say that. But before,

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I wanted to be present. I mean, I still want to be Present, but not

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for fun. I just want to be present. Yeah. Just to watch. Yeah, just to

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watch. But, yeah, no, I would have. The old me would have probably been like,

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yeah, yeah, I want to. I. Yeah, I'll play with him.

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Yeah. Just so I could be there. Yeah. You. You took one for the team.

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That's taking one for the team. But your scenario is more. So you're just not

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ready. Like, not ready. You haven't found the connection or wrong time,

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time and place. Right. So it's. It's essentially, you're. You're feeling the pressures.

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Okay, so it's not. Not necessarily taking one of the team. No, not necessarily.

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Like, you could be into that person. Yeah. But you're just not feeling

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it. Or maybe it's just not comfortable. Maybe it's the place that you're at,

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maybe they want to play, you know, in front of everybody, and you're not

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comfortable with that. You'd rather be behind closed doors, but you don't put a stop

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to it because you don't want to be that person. Yeah. You know what I

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mean? So it's almost like a peer pressure. Some of it's

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subtle. Sometimes you'll have somebody, you know, just kind of

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nudging you off to the side and going, hey, you want to. You want to

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go do this? Yes. And that moment, you kind of sit there and you're on

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the spot. Yeah. And it's hard to say no when you're on the spot,

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especially if, like, everybody's just kind of sitting there waiting. You know,

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there's been situations where we've gone out with couples,

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and this was a long time ago where we've gone out with couples for dinner,

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and, you know, they're sitting across the table from us,

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and we're sitting on the other side, and everybody seems to be enjoying

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themselves, and nobody wants to bring up sex.

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We're all there. We all know what we want.

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But there's been times where I've been like, looking at

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you going, are we. Are we going to do this or are we. Not now

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I'm straight up. Yeah. But before. Before I would.

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I would be like, are we going to do this now? And you'd be like,

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I mean, yeah, sure. That's what we're here for. And sometimes

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when I would look at you and go, are we going to do this?

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It was more or less me looking for your approval

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or disapproval. So I would go by whatever you said.

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So if you said no, I'd be like, okay. But if you said yes,

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I'D be like, okay. And I

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don't know if during that time it was considered a

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kind of pressuring to say yes. So it, you know,

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it's one of those things. We didn't really communicate that well back then. So you

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probably didn't know if I was nudging you to say yes or if I

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was just nudging you, you know, which most of the time, I was just nudging

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you to get your approval. Yeah. But there's been times

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where I felt pressured, you know, to go

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with something or to do something and maybe

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not been feeling it in the moment, but went ahead and did it.

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Right. And it would turn out okay.

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Yeah. So sometimes it's good in a way because

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it kind of pushes you to step out of your comfort zone and try something

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different sometimes. Yeah.

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You can't. And then you start overthinking it. Right. And you're sitting there

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and you're overthinking the situation, and you've just created it in your

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head a different way, and you're just not in the mood anymore. Yeah, yeah,

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yeah. No, yeah. Overthinkers. Oh, man.

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Overthinkers. It's what we do. It really is.

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I mean, it is. It is something that's. I'm sure, like you said, it happens

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to new people. I'm sure it does. And I'm sure it still happens to people

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who have been in the lifestyle for a really long time. Yeah. Like,

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I think it's kind of situational. Yeah. Person to person.

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Yeah. And, you know, it can apply not only to sexual situations,

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but it can also apply to, like, relationships and polyships. You know

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what I mean? I think we did it on a. On a past episode where

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we talked about where couples, you know, one wants

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to be a swinger and one wants to be poly, you know, and there's different

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dynamics, so there's different ways where the pressure can.

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Can manifest itself. You got your peer pressure, your basic peer

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pressure, where almost like when we first saw each other,

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when we first started dating, and we were at that bar and you were

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sitting across from me with your sister, and that guy came. That.

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That was a friend of mine, and he was standing there talking to all three.

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All three of us. And then he was like, okay, so which one are you

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taking home and which one am I taking home? Yeah. That kind of singular

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peer pressure. Yeah. You know, and then, of course, if I

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was. If I really valued him as a friend, I would have been like,

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well, I don't know which one. Ha. But you

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Know, he was an okay friend, but I kind of put a stop to that.

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Cause I was like, you know, that's not. That's not how we operate. Yeah,

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that's kind of disrespectful. And so it's that same

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kind of singular one on one peer pressure where somebody comes up

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to you and is like, hey, you know, I really would like to take

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you to the back at the sex club and have some fun with you.

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Well, maybe you went there and you didn't plan on playing.

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Maybe your stomach's not feeling too good. Yeah. Maybe, you know,

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for whatever reason, you're just not feeling sexual or whatever,

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you should be able to say no without feeling anything.

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And I felt. I've done it, you know, I've felt it before. Yeah, you know,

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it's. It is. It is. Yeah. It could definitely not only be in

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a sexual encounter, it could also be just like you just said,

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pressure or peer pressure, even from your. From your spouse

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or your partner on doing things.

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Yeah. So, like, it could be,

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hey, I want to date this girl. You don't know how to say no.

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Right. Or, I want to date this guy. No one knows how to say.

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And it was kind of like our poly situation. There was a lot of situations

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in when we were poly that you didn't feel comfortable with.

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No. But you said yes because

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you didn't want to put a stop to my time,

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my good time. You didn't want to. You know, there was. For whatever reasons,

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I felt the pressure. You felt pressure. You know, and I

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felt pressured to not stop, if that makes sense. Yes.

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Because I was like, you know, we put this in. We're doing this.

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I've talked to her. She said she's okay, so I'm

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just gonna keep this going. Yeah. You know, and really, that was those. Those pressures

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particularly could have broken us. Yeah. You know, the other bit of pressure

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that they give out there is kind of like social dynamics.

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A good example of that is, say you and I

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were friends with another couple, and that couple is poly. Right.

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And the four of us hang out non stop, non stop, non stop. And we

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become really good friends and feelings get exchanged, and before you know it,

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we're feeling pressured to maybe consider dating

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because that's what they want and that's not what we want. You know what

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I mean? So that's social dynamics, kind of peer pressure.

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And so. And that's just one example of many. There's. There's several different

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types where, you know, you get with a. You know, you're in with a

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certain group of people. And that group of people are all

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dtf and you're not. Right. But everybody's

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getting down. Yeah. You're just gonna stand off to the corner and watch.

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You're probably gonna jump in there even though you're not comfortable.

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And that's the social dynamics pressure of it all.

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So the. That's the group that you keep, that's the. The friends that

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you keep. And everybody's doing it. I feel like I should do it. It's also,

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you know, which is a future topic is. Is drug usage in the

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groups. Right. And I know that some people take up

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on heavy drug usage and not because they want to, but because maybe they're around

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certain people and they feel like they have to. You know what

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I mean? So they could stay up all night and party, you know, or whatever.

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It's social. Social dynamics that. Wow. I didn't think about

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that. Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely. And then there. There's another type of peer

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pressure that I think you and I are probably pretty familiar

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with, but we don't really think about it too often, and several others will too.

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It's the internalized pressure. It's the pressure we put on ourselves.

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I know that I've put a lot of pressure on myself to try

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and be more confident, which is not necessarily

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a bad pressure, but I still put pressure on myself to kind of be this

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confident person when it's not really in my nature.

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We definitely put pressure on ourselves to want

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to do certain things in the lifestyle that maybe we're not feeling too comfortable

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with that sort of thing, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I think when we were first

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starting to come out, we attended a. A hotel takeover.

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I. I did. I was not looking forward to that. I was very, very.

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I was dealing with a lot of. I remember particularly when we pulled up to

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the hotel and we got our stuff out of the car and we were walking

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to the entrance, and I was thinking, God, I really don't want to be here,

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because it was in the same town we lived in. Yeah. And I was like,

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you know, we just live down the street. We don't have to do this.

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And the whole time we were walking up there, and I'm thinking in my head,

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we can back out at any time. Get back out at any time. We can

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back out at any time. Yeah. Yeah. Because if. If we went to a hotel

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takeover, if we went to that particular hotel takeover and we didn't live there.

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Yeah. I would have been like, we have to stay here because

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we don't live here, but we literally lived down the street. So we were like,

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we don't. We really don't have to be here. Right. You know, but I put

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a lot of pressure on myself to go, okay, we're going to go in there

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and I'm really going to do my best to try and have a good time.

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And, you know, I. Sometimes I don't feel

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like being touchy feely. Sometimes I don't feel like being very social.

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But I put that pressure on myself. To kind of get out there and

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be more. Be more you. Yeah. Yeah. So it's difficult.

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It's difficult, but we definitely deal with those pressures now.

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Have you ever felt pressure by your partner,

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like by me? Have I ever pressured you into doing something?

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I want to say you have. Yeah. I want to say you have two,

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but I can't really remember one. Yeah, I know I. I know I have with

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you. Yeah, I know I have with you. And I. I think most of the

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time, anytime that I've ever pressured you to do something that you didn't want

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to do, it was normally to take one for the team. As much as I

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hate to say that. Yeah. But it was really, it. It.

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That was kind of the only way that I could enjoy somebody

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because we only played as a couple. Yeah, that's very

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true. If you didn't. That's very true. If you didn't feel the other person,

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I was shit out of luck. Now, you mentioned something. What was the last one

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that you mentioned? Internalized. Internalized pressure.

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Internalized expectations. And what was that kind of. What was your example of

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that? That's more of like when you are setting yourself

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up for. You're putting your pressure on your own. Your own self. Like,

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kind of. So nobody's telling you to do it. Yeah. It's you kind of going,

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I need to do this. Yeah. Kind of like when my birthday came up last

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year and I was like, okay, we're gonna go to the club. The last thing

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I wanted to do was go to the club. Gotcha. And the. Realistically, I was

220
00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:10,310
only doing it because everybody else was doing it. Yeah. And I. I put pressure

221
00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:14,830
on myself to go check it out and try and enjoy it. But I

222
00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:18,510
was like, I'm not a club person. Yeah. And we don't drink. So I.

223
00:14:19,010 --> 00:14:22,670
And. But now, of course, I love them. I have done the internal pressure.

224
00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:26,870
And I don't know if this is probably internal. I think it is where I

225
00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:30,670
would make myself make sure

226
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,830
that I was being okay with everything.

227
00:14:34,630 --> 00:14:37,750
So I would pressure myself into liking.

228
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:41,850
I gotcha. Certain things that you would do that

229
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:45,970
I didn't like that was happening to you. And so I would put pressure on

230
00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:49,210
myself to, like, just freaking just get over it. Just don't look at it or

231
00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:53,170
don't even worry about it or don't internalize it. Now. I don't

232
00:14:53,670 --> 00:14:56,850
do that well, so. And. And that's why I say, you know, some of these

233
00:14:57,350 --> 00:15:00,970
pressures are not necessarily bad things, because I think some of these pressures help get

234
00:15:01,470 --> 00:15:04,690
us out of our comfort zone. Yeah. Which is good. You know, I'm a

235
00:15:05,190 --> 00:15:08,100
big believer in if you want to get used to something, you got to do

236
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,980
it several times over. Right. And once you've done it.

237
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:16,060
Yeah. Once you've done it, you. You can basically, you know,

238
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:19,660
you get comfortable each time that you do it. Yeah. And then it gets a

239
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,820
little bit easier. A little bit easier. So, like, a lot of this stuff where

240
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,540
you're at in the journey right now could have never happened because you've been put

241
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:30,660
in the same uncomfortable position over and over again,

242
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,530
and you're kind of forced to grow out of that, Forced to move on.

243
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:38,810
Yeah. Yeah. So some of these pressures are good. Yeah. Some of them help

244
00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:42,530
us grow. But at the same time, there's still pressures.

245
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:46,530
Yeah. You know, there's still pressures. They help me not give a. I'm just kidding.

246
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:50,890
There's still. They're still there, you know. Yeah. Oh, I. I definitely

247
00:15:51,390 --> 00:15:55,810
do. I definitely put pressure on myself. I try not to, but even personally,

248
00:15:56,450 --> 00:16:00,770
we do that to ourselves. Yes. Like, even personally, personal goals,

249
00:16:01,270 --> 00:16:04,850
personal things that we want to, you know, do we put

250
00:16:05,350 --> 00:16:09,010
our own pressure all the time? Yeah, yeah. Like. Oh, absolutely. Just in life.

251
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,250
And not even. Yeah. Not even in the lifestyle, just in life. In life in

252
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:16,010
general. Yeah. And we put pressure on other people, like our children.

253
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:19,050
Yeah, I agree. No,

254
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:23,010
it's constant. Yeah. And realistically, I mean,

255
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:26,850
like I said, not all pressure is bad because you. Got to grow from it.

256
00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:31,120
Yeah. If you're never pushed, if you're never pressured, then you're

257
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:35,280
never going to flourish. Very rarely do people flourish on their

258
00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:39,400
own without putting. Without any kind of pressure, at least. Yeah. Yeah. Or having

259
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:42,680
external pressure from others. You know, some of it is good,

260
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,200
but some of it is bad. And we have to consider that

261
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,760
whenever we're in situations, like a

262
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,280
social dynamic situation or we're with another

263
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:58,690
couple and we're real excited and we want to play, we really have

264
00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:02,850
to wonder, is the consent true

265
00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:07,050
or are they. Is it a reluctant. Yes. Right.

266
00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:10,410
You know what I mean? And you can't put them on the spot. But I

267
00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:14,730
am usually the one that's like, like blurty. Are, are we playing today

268
00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:19,450
or like, what's happening? Right. I kind of picture the scenario and

269
00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:22,970
I kind of get the vibe. Yeah. And I kind of know if it's a

270
00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:26,810
yes or a no. Well, most of the people that we play with, we've talked

271
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:30,390
about it ahead of time. It's very rare that we're,

272
00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:33,990
we meet somebody and then go, do you guys are.

273
00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:37,430
Would you all be interested in sex? You know? Yeah.

274
00:17:37,510 --> 00:17:41,230
Normally the people that we play with, we've been talking to for

275
00:17:41,730 --> 00:17:45,470
a while. We've been having different conversations and we've talked about sex and

276
00:17:45,970 --> 00:17:49,310
this and that and it's come up and, and you know, we've kind

277
00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:53,390
of already all agreed before we even have gone

278
00:17:53,890 --> 00:17:58,010
out. And so then. And sometimes it's a no, sometimes it's a no. Sometimes it's

279
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,930
like, no, not tonight, or no, not wait. We still need time.

280
00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:06,570
Right. You know, a good example of, of that

281
00:18:07,070 --> 00:18:10,649
kind of pressure was we went out with a couple last weekend.

282
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:14,650
Yeah, Last weekend we went out with a couple good looking couple,

283
00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:19,770
very attractive people, very fun and enjoyable personalities.

284
00:18:20,740 --> 00:18:23,620
And by the end of the night, we spent like several hours with them.

285
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,580
And then by the end of the night, we were sitting all at the table

286
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:31,020
and the talk of play started coming

287
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:35,180
up and it was like you and I, before we went

288
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,660
out had agreed, we're not playing tonight.

289
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:42,260
Right. Because as silly as it sounds,

290
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:46,080
we shower in the morning and the

291
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:50,040
day had passed. We didn't do anything strenuous, but if we were gonna

292
00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:54,000
play, we were gonna normally shower again and then get dressed and then go

293
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,840
out. Yeah. And so we were literally standing in the bathroom about to get our

294
00:18:58,340 --> 00:19:01,400
clothes for the closet, and you looked at me and you said, are you gonna

295
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:05,240
shower? And I was like, well, no, I think I'm fine. I'm just gonna

296
00:19:05,740 --> 00:19:08,760
get dressed. And you're like, yeah, same here. So we're not playing tonight. And I

297
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:12,680
was like, okay. And. But you asked. Well, I did. And you know why I

298
00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:16,550
asked? Why? Because I felt pressure. Not from them

299
00:19:17,050 --> 00:19:20,310
and not from you. Internal. Oh my God. I was gonna ask

300
00:19:20,810 --> 00:19:24,150
and I forgot about it. Yeah, yeah, I did. Because we were sitting there talking

301
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:28,270
and I saw that they, they looked like they wanted to. And I'm,

302
00:19:28,770 --> 00:19:32,630
you know, I'm, I'm, I'm assuming it sounded like in comment that that was the

303
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:36,670
interest, but we hadn't, we hadn't Spoken about it. And of course,

304
00:19:37,170 --> 00:19:38,870
we had no place to host, so then we would have had to look at

305
00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:43,240
hotels and stuff. And so we were at that table. Now, could I

306
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:46,920
have easily just stopped and gone, oh, yeah, no, we're not playing tonight? Absolutely.

307
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:51,200
Yeah. But I felt pressure on myself that I didn't want.

308
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:54,360
They seemed so happy. I didn't want to disappoint them. I was like. So at

309
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,080
that point, I was ready to drop trial. Well, I was. I was ready to

310
00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:00,040
do this when you. When you asked that, I was the one who answered.

311
00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:02,400
I was like, yeah, Well, I looked at you and I was like, are we

312
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,520
doing this? And you're like, yeah, no, no. And I was like, yeah, that's what

313
00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:09,030
I have you here for. No, you're my. No. No, no. You're my. No.

314
00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:12,870
You're my no. Because sometimes I just don't have it in me.

315
00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:15,590
Sometimes I feel the pressure, and I just don't feel like I can. You gotta

316
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:19,550
get out of your head. Don't. Don't pressure yourself. You've got to get out

317
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:22,350
of your head. Everybody's got to get out of their head. Everybody in this lifestyle

318
00:20:22,850 --> 00:20:26,390
has these weird insecurities and pressures and whatnot. There's very few

319
00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:31,070
people that walk through this entire community with no

320
00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:34,710
thoughts of that. And if they do, they're somewhat sociopathic.

321
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:38,940
I think it's dangerous. I think most of us should be overthinking

322
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,700
because that means that we have consideration for others. I'm a sociopath.

323
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:47,860
I know I am not totally.

324
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:51,140
Just don't be putting pressure on yourself, because then you're going to ask. We all

325
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,580
do it. You're going to ask a question, and. I'm going to be like,

326
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,140
no, we all do it. You know? And so then, you know when you tell

327
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,700
somebody, hey, do you want to play? And either they're going to give you an

328
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,950
enthusiastic yes or they're going to give you a reluctant

329
00:21:05,450 --> 00:21:08,870
yes. And you really have to look at how they. How they

330
00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:13,590
tell you as far as. Is this true consent?

331
00:21:14,090 --> 00:21:17,670
Like, do they really want to? Of course. It's always hard when there's another couple,

332
00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:21,790
because then it's like, they can be excited to sleep

333
00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:25,830
with you, but then when it's my turn, it's like, I don't know.

334
00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:29,830
I don't know if I want to do this anymore. Have you seen that guy?

335
00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:34,150
He's hairy all over. I love it. Not good. I love it.

336
00:21:34,470 --> 00:21:36,470
Not good. It's the pressure. Now,

337
00:21:37,590 --> 00:21:41,510
it's fair to say you've been in that gray area before

338
00:21:41,590 --> 00:21:44,870
where you have not

339
00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:48,950
wanted to say yes, but felt compelled to say yes. Yes.

340
00:21:49,430 --> 00:21:53,350
Now, I have a very specific time in mind. There was

341
00:21:53,850 --> 00:21:57,690
one time we were. We were at the beach, and we were

342
00:21:58,190 --> 00:22:02,090
there with a bunch of swingers. It was nighttime. It's very late.

343
00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:05,610
All of us had our vehicles out there, and it basically just. Everybody was

344
00:22:06,110 --> 00:22:09,530
going from place to place. Everybody was having sex in the back of these vehicles.

345
00:22:10,170 --> 00:22:13,610
And we were in the back of this V. In the back of our vehicle

346
00:22:13,930 --> 00:22:17,410
with the. It was an SUV in the back was

347
00:22:17,910 --> 00:22:21,530
open, and we were sitting kind of almost like a tailgate kind of situation there.

348
00:22:22,260 --> 00:22:25,940
And I was laying there. You were laying on top of me, and both

349
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,660
of our legs were facing out. And you were wearing this sundress. And of course,

350
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,660
you didn't have any panties on. And we're both rubbing

351
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:38,059
each other, and we're there, and we're watching everybody have

352
00:22:38,559 --> 00:22:41,820
sex in their own. In the back of their SUVs. We're all parked around

353
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,060
each other, Right. And so I'm touching you, you're touching me. Things are getting hot.

354
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,120
We're watching everybody, and there's this guy who's basically

355
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:54,240
naked, just walking from car to car. And he sees you,

356
00:22:54,740 --> 00:22:58,120
your legs are open and on me. And he sees you, and he comes

357
00:22:58,620 --> 00:23:01,800
up to you and your tits are out, and he was flirting with you,

358
00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:03,920
and he goes, can I suck on your tits? And you were like, yeah,

359
00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:08,200
go ahead. So then he started sucking on your tits, and I guess

360
00:23:08,700 --> 00:23:11,960
you got turned on and you noticed he was jacking off

361
00:23:12,460 --> 00:23:15,810
right there against your. Yeah. And so while

362
00:23:16,310 --> 00:23:19,890
laying on top of me, you kind of moved

363
00:23:20,390 --> 00:23:23,570
your way up to where you had your legs wrapped around him, and you

364
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:28,210
basically pulled him into you so that you guys could have sex. Yeah, I was

365
00:23:28,710 --> 00:23:31,610
not very comfortable with that. You were.

366
00:23:32,330 --> 00:23:34,810
We didn't discuss after all these years.

367
00:23:35,450 --> 00:23:38,890
Well, obviously it got hot after some time, and, you know. Yeah, I ended up

368
00:23:39,390 --> 00:23:42,570
coming, but I wasn't comfortable with that. We didn't talk about

369
00:23:43,070 --> 00:23:46,330
it, and I wasn't expecting that. I mean, it became a major turn on.

370
00:23:46,830 --> 00:23:50,010
And just talking about it, it's a tough one. I was like, yeah, it was

371
00:23:50,510 --> 00:23:53,410
hot. But at the same time, it was like, that was something that we did

372
00:23:53,910 --> 00:23:57,290
not talk about. Now I like it because one

373
00:23:57,790 --> 00:24:01,170
of my kinks is knowing that you're turned on by somebody else. And so the

374
00:24:01,670 --> 00:24:05,210
fact that you brought him to you and you kind of initiated

375
00:24:05,710 --> 00:24:08,920
that, that was hot. But at that moment,

376
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,280
I was not comfortable yeah.

377
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:16,560
Yeah. I was not comfortable. And, you know, there. There's.

378
00:24:17,060 --> 00:24:20,280
There's been different times. And I'm sure, you know, that's. That's one of those things

379
00:24:20,780 --> 00:24:23,880
where it's like, well, I didn't need to give consent because I wasn't asked.

380
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,520
You basically had sex with another man laying on top of me.

381
00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:33,120
I did. And never looked back to see if I was okay

382
00:24:33,620 --> 00:24:37,560
with that. Yeah. Yeah. So there's that.

383
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,960
That. That happened. Oh, my God. I forgot about that.

384
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:46,040
Geez, man. I did not forget about that. And when we left,

385
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,080
I don't know if you remember, but when we left, I was not very happy.

386
00:24:49,580 --> 00:24:52,880
No. We were driving home, and you were, like, looking at me, and you're like,

387
00:24:53,380 --> 00:24:55,800
so, what'd you think? And I was like, yeah, no, I didn't like that.

388
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,520
I don't remember that. We had. It was a long conversation all the

389
00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:03,130
way home, because it was like, I didn't care for it. I liked

390
00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:05,210
it, but I didn't like it. And I think I expressed that to you.

391
00:25:05,710 --> 00:25:08,090
I was like, I liked it, but I didn't like it because I wasn't expecting

392
00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:11,810
it. We didn't talk about that. You know, I don't think we had that conversation.

393
00:25:12,050 --> 00:25:14,970
I think you might have had that conversation in your head. No, we had that

394
00:25:15,470 --> 00:25:19,290
conversation. We did. No, we did have that conversation. I wasn't happy

395
00:25:19,790 --> 00:25:22,810
when we left. Wow. But then you. You calmed me down. You were like,

396
00:25:23,310 --> 00:25:26,250
babe, it's okay. And I was like, okay. And I. I told myself I didn't

397
00:25:26,750 --> 00:25:30,080
want to make it a big deal. I didn't want to because we had a

398
00:25:30,580 --> 00:25:34,080
good time. Yeah. And that was really one of the first times that I got

399
00:25:34,580 --> 00:25:38,040
to see my wife be slutty, which I liked. Yeah. But. And.

400
00:25:38,540 --> 00:25:41,560
And so that was a situation where I didn't really want to speak up and

401
00:25:42,060 --> 00:25:46,040
express discontent because I. You were

402
00:25:46,540 --> 00:25:49,400
going down that same road that I wanted you to go down. I just wanted

403
00:25:49,900 --> 00:25:52,000
you to talk to me about it first. Yeah. That was back when we still

404
00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,840
had kind of some rules. Yeah. You know, you do that now. I don't care.

405
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,520
Yeah. And I mean. Yeah. I guess everybody has felt,

406
00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:02,800
like, some kind of pressure. I can't really say I've held

407
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:06,920
on to anything. Oh, I have. I've held onto a few things. Yeah. I got.

408
00:26:07,420 --> 00:26:10,640
I got a list of stuff. I got things that I've held on to.

409
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,400
That's silly. Is it? Yeah. Well, I mean,

410
00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:18,320
it's consideration. Yeah, it's consideration. You know, you try

411
00:26:18,820 --> 00:26:21,960
to be considerate to your. Your spouse when you.

412
00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:24,830
When you. I mean, that's. You have. And that's. But that's stuff that we don't

413
00:26:25,330 --> 00:26:27,430
talk about, because a lot of times when we talk about it, we talk about

414
00:26:28,150 --> 00:26:31,550
you doing what you want and finding your voice and

415
00:26:32,050 --> 00:26:35,310
that sort of thing. And letting me do what I want. Yeah. And very

416
00:26:35,810 --> 00:26:38,630
rarely does it turn around where it's like, well,

417
00:26:39,350 --> 00:26:42,870
in this situation, I should have been able to say, well,

418
00:26:43,830 --> 00:26:46,910
no, you don't do that. Yeah. Because that's not what I

419
00:26:47,410 --> 00:26:51,490
want you to do right now. But I didn't. Because you really don't.

420
00:26:52,370 --> 00:26:55,330
You're. You're way more loose.

421
00:26:56,210 --> 00:26:59,570
Looser with me than I am with you. Yes. Yeah,

422
00:27:00,210 --> 00:27:03,250
I have loosened up. But yeah,

423
00:27:03,490 --> 00:27:07,170
it's still. It's still very eggshelly around me. It can be.

424
00:27:07,410 --> 00:27:11,050
And. But that's just us. Like, that's just the way it

425
00:27:11,550 --> 00:27:14,850
is. It's just. Yeah. And slowly it's getting there.

426
00:27:15,090 --> 00:27:18,330
Yeah, it's getting there. It's just. It's one of those things where you got to

427
00:27:18,830 --> 00:27:22,160
kind of take time. You got to be put in those uncomfortable positions

428
00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:26,240
and feel uncomfortable, feel the pressure and go, okay, I guess this

429
00:27:26,740 --> 00:27:30,240
isn't as bad as I thought it was, you know? But at the same time,

430
00:27:30,740 --> 00:27:34,720
too, also consider that your feelings are valid. Oh, for sure. Yeah. And so

431
00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:39,080
if you're feeling like, okay, I'm not really enjoying this right now, you should

432
00:27:39,580 --> 00:27:42,840
be able to speak. Yes. And now we are very much like that. We are.

433
00:27:43,340 --> 00:27:47,400
You know, I will say that I wasn't, like. I literally probably just started

434
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:51,240
being like that. Uh, yeah, I think so, too, because. I feel like

435
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,000
you didn't put the pressure, or maybe you did a little, but I

436
00:27:56,500 --> 00:28:00,480
did the majority of pressure on myself to, like, situations that

437
00:28:00,980 --> 00:28:03,320
I didn't want to be or to do situations I didn't want to do.

438
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,120
I think now with. With your growth now,

439
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,640
before I used to kind of pressure you and go,

440
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,010
I would really like for you to do this. And then after a while,

441
00:28:13,510 --> 00:28:16,250
I stopped because I didn't want to put any pressure on you,

442
00:28:17,210 --> 00:28:20,370
but I would. I became vocal in the fact that I would

443
00:28:20,870 --> 00:28:24,290
tell you, well, this kind of bugs me that we can't

444
00:28:24,790 --> 00:28:28,210
do this because we're being hindered by this. Yeah. You know,

445
00:28:28,710 --> 00:28:32,010
or. Or I can't enjoy this because you have an issue with me. You kind

446
00:28:32,510 --> 00:28:35,170
of have to. And so when. When I tell you that when you. Tell me

447
00:28:35,670 --> 00:28:38,450
things, you have to do it. It's a certain way that I have to Express

448
00:28:38,950 --> 00:28:42,120
it. People may call it manipulation, but it's not. It is,

449
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:46,120
Priscilla. Conversation. Yeah. Because initially that was.

450
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,360
That was never meant to be put out there to manipulate.

451
00:28:49,860 --> 00:28:53,520
You know, I was vocalizing what. What I

452
00:28:54,020 --> 00:28:57,400
was feeling. Exactly. I was voting. Someone's listening. They're like, oh, that's kind

453
00:28:57,900 --> 00:29:00,440
of like, yeah, manipulation. Right. Right. For our scenario,

454
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:04,280
you have to talk to me and bring things up a certain

455
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:08,240
way. Yeah. I am fully aware of what you're doing, but it

456
00:29:08,740 --> 00:29:12,220
has to be brought up a certain way with me because if you just come

457
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,380
out and tell me, I'm going to be bitchy. Well. And so. Because.

458
00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:19,060
Yeah. And it really. It really depends on the delivery.

459
00:29:19,140 --> 00:29:22,980
Yes. So there you go. What I, What I notice is where,

460
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,979
where things started growing for you was when I changed my tactic

461
00:29:27,479 --> 00:29:30,740
as far as how I expressed myself. I. I stopped.

462
00:29:31,380 --> 00:29:34,820
I stopped blaming you for stuff because it's hard

463
00:29:35,140 --> 00:29:38,580
whenever you're expressing to someone, hey, you did something

464
00:29:39,430 --> 00:29:42,910
that I didn't like. Yeah. It's hard not to get defensive when you

465
00:29:43,410 --> 00:29:46,150
hear somebody coming at you like that. Right. In any scenario. Right.

466
00:29:46,470 --> 00:29:49,750
So I didn't want to come at you and go, look, you.

467
00:29:49,910 --> 00:29:52,310
You did this. You made me feel this way.

468
00:29:52,950 --> 00:29:56,470
So instead, what I started doing was basically telling you,

469
00:29:57,110 --> 00:30:00,510
so this happened. And I just wanted

470
00:30:01,010 --> 00:30:04,030
to let you know how I felt about that. And I didn't like this and

471
00:30:04,530 --> 00:30:08,560
that. And you love me so much that

472
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:12,480
the moment you realize I'm struggling or I'm

473
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,000
not happy or I'm upset about something and it was

474
00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:19,600
something that was in your control, that's kind of where you

475
00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:22,720
reprocess and you're like, maybe I should.

476
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,320
Maybe I should try. Maybe I should try and change this. Or maybe I should.

477
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:30,000
And so slowly but surely, you kind of start molding your own thoughts and

478
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,150
you process things on your own time. Yeah. And sometimes it takes

479
00:30:33,650 --> 00:30:37,510
a long time and sometimes it doesn't. But I. I do realize

480
00:30:38,010 --> 00:30:41,070
that that that eventually came about, you know,

481
00:30:41,230 --> 00:30:45,110
and. And realistically, it could be a

482
00:30:45,610 --> 00:30:48,910
kind of pressure that you put on yourself. I didn't necessarily.

483
00:30:49,410 --> 00:30:52,350
Oh, yeah, you. But I would. I would vocalize that, you know,

484
00:30:52,850 --> 00:30:55,950
I. Man, I really wish I could do this, but I can't because of this,

485
00:30:56,450 --> 00:30:58,670
you know? And you. You started putting pressure on yourself and you're like, man,

486
00:30:59,170 --> 00:31:02,450
I really hate that I'm holding him back. Yeah. And I remember you having

487
00:31:02,950 --> 00:31:05,730
that conversation with me. Like, I don't want to hold you back. Yeah. You know,

488
00:31:06,050 --> 00:31:09,610
so that was all. But I'm still going to hold you. Back to

489
00:31:10,110 --> 00:31:13,730
an extent. To an extent. You know? Now I do think it's important

490
00:31:14,230 --> 00:31:16,850
to recognize when you're crossing your own lines.

491
00:31:17,890 --> 00:31:21,410
I'm real big in this, and that's because, I guess because I'm an overthinker,

492
00:31:21,890 --> 00:31:25,010
but. And it can be kind

493
00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:28,220
of confusing. Confused with low self esteem.

494
00:31:28,700 --> 00:31:32,340
But this particularly is not now. I. I have friends that

495
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:36,060
will maybe every now and then express an interest in playing with me.

496
00:31:36,540 --> 00:31:40,540
And. Yeah. It's all like hot talk and everything till we're actually

497
00:31:40,620 --> 00:31:43,660
in a place where we can play. And then like at

498
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,980
the club or at a house party. And then it's like, even though we've talked

499
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,380
about it, even though I know that they've said,

500
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:55,350
hey, you can kiss me whenever you want, or we can play whenever

501
00:31:55,850 --> 00:31:59,230
you want, you know, that sort of thing, I'm still going to go up

502
00:31:59,730 --> 00:32:03,590
to them. I'm still gonna ask if it's okay. I think you should literally

503
00:32:04,090 --> 00:32:07,310
every single time. Yeah. Because you just never

504
00:32:07,810 --> 00:32:11,630
know if anything's changed. Yes. And. And that

505
00:32:11,710 --> 00:32:15,470
particularly is me kind of

506
00:32:15,550 --> 00:32:19,290
preventing myself from crossing any boundaries,

507
00:32:19,690 --> 00:32:23,970
you know, making sure that the consent is clear and concise

508
00:32:24,470 --> 00:32:27,450
and that we're on board, you know? Right. A good.

509
00:32:28,010 --> 00:32:31,450
There's a girl that we're kind of seeing that we see almost every weekend,

510
00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:35,530
you know, and sometimes during the week. Yeah. And even as

511
00:32:36,030 --> 00:32:39,810
close as we are to her, I still ask her

512
00:32:40,310 --> 00:32:43,370
if it's okay if I can kiss her. Yeah. Like, even still. Yeah.

513
00:32:43,870 --> 00:32:47,230
Like, we've had sex a few times. Like we've. We spend a lot of

514
00:32:47,730 --> 00:32:51,270
time together. Like, it's. It's kind of surpassed the.

515
00:32:51,770 --> 00:32:55,270
The basic friendship with sex kind of situation. Yeah. It's.

516
00:32:55,350 --> 00:32:58,750
It's kind of grown. And I still. When we're, you know, at the

517
00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:03,230
club or wherever, I still say, is it okay? She's like, yeah. I'm like,

518
00:33:03,730 --> 00:33:07,110
okay. You know what I mean? Now? I don't know. You know, I don't

519
00:33:07,610 --> 00:33:11,510
think I'll ever stop that. Yeah. I don't care how close we are. You know,

520
00:33:12,010 --> 00:33:15,360
sometimes you ask me if it's okay to kiss me. Do I? Sometimes you're like,

521
00:33:15,860 --> 00:33:19,000
can I kiss you? Really? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you ask. Oh, that's so cute.

522
00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:23,280
And I'm like, why are you asking me? Because I'm cute. That's why. Because I'm

523
00:33:23,780 --> 00:33:27,080
cute. Why do I ask you? Because consent is everything.

524
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,960
Yes. What are you doing? I'm just getting comfortable. Much hair.

525
00:33:31,460 --> 00:33:34,840
You're getting real comfortable with those legs open. No. Yeah. You.

526
00:33:35,340 --> 00:33:38,760
You've always. You're just. You're sweet. You're sweet. You know, I'm very

527
00:33:39,260 --> 00:33:43,080
respectful. And I. I think that we've

528
00:33:43,580 --> 00:33:46,760
had this discussion before with other couples who have been new to the lifestyle because

529
00:33:47,260 --> 00:33:52,400
it's been mind blowing for people that some of the regular,

530
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:56,240
everyday, respectful courtesies that we give

531
00:33:56,740 --> 00:34:00,120
to people or we're supposed to give to people in regular

532
00:34:00,620 --> 00:34:03,800
life is not considered a common thing in

533
00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:07,530
the lifestyle. And what I mean by that is like,

534
00:34:08,490 --> 00:34:12,410
basic stuff. Like consent. Yeah, basic stuff.

535
00:34:12,910 --> 00:34:16,810
Like, you know, maybe don't

536
00:34:17,310 --> 00:34:21,249
be an asshole to people. Yeah. You know. Yeah. There's a lot of basic stuff

537
00:34:21,749 --> 00:34:24,330
where I've had people that I've talked to, I've explained to them, and they've looked

538
00:34:24,830 --> 00:34:28,170
at me and gone. I thought that was common sense. It's not. And it's supposed

539
00:34:28,670 --> 00:34:32,410
to be. It should be common sense because it's common sense in the regular

540
00:34:32,910 --> 00:34:35,860
world. But when it comes to the lifestyle, all of a sudden it's like everybody

541
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:40,100
loses that common sense. Yeah. I think we were talking about how

542
00:34:40,900 --> 00:34:44,860
there's, you know, there's people who are notorious for just

543
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,940
grabbing women's asses or, you know, just touching women, just because they know

544
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,860
that they're in the lifestyle, they think it's okay to fucking grab them.

545
00:34:52,740 --> 00:34:56,180
You know, that kind of stuff should be common sense. You don't do that.

546
00:34:56,340 --> 00:34:59,940
Right. That's something that if you did that in the vanilla world,

547
00:35:00,020 --> 00:35:04,440
you get your ass beat for. And people would understand that.

548
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:08,040
You know what I mean? But in the lifestyle, it happens. And then all of

549
00:35:08,540 --> 00:35:12,040
a sudden, the person it happens to has to sit there and go, that sucks.

550
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,480
Yeah. You know, like, I did not get permission for that.

551
00:35:15,980 --> 00:35:19,080
That sucks. And, you know, it's not just women. It's guys, too. You know,

552
00:35:19,580 --> 00:35:23,240
sometimes guys get. Get touched without consent. They're not feeling it. And it's like,

553
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:27,040
man, I did not. Notice that, but I sure as

554
00:35:27,540 --> 00:35:30,730
hell noticed it recently. Yeah. Yeah, it's a thing. Like, it's a thing.

555
00:35:31,230 --> 00:35:34,690
It's not just. It's not. Ladies, guys, ladies, you gotta ask

556
00:35:35,190 --> 00:35:38,570
for consent. Ladies, like, you gotta ask for consent on some of

557
00:35:39,070 --> 00:35:42,770
these guys. You cannot be. You cannot think it is okay to touch

558
00:35:43,270 --> 00:35:46,370
them. You would not like that. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's a double standard.

559
00:35:46,870 --> 00:35:49,690
It's a double standard. It is definitely a double standard. There's major double standards.

560
00:35:50,250 --> 00:35:54,330
Like, I know there's. Some guys don't want the consent, but if you're touching someone's

561
00:35:54,830 --> 00:35:57,790
genitals, ask them yeah. Like, period.

562
00:35:58,110 --> 00:36:01,430
Yeah. I mean, can you imagine? You know, I've talked

563
00:36:01,930 --> 00:36:04,990
to a lot of guys. This is a thing. It happens. You know, I didn't

564
00:36:05,490 --> 00:36:09,150
realize it, but I realized it and I did not like

565
00:36:09,650 --> 00:36:12,750
it. I would never. If some woman was drunk and came up to you and

566
00:36:13,250 --> 00:36:17,150
started kissing you and then grabbed your junk, I would

567
00:36:17,650 --> 00:36:21,230
be livid. Yeah. Like, you like that, but you know you like

568
00:36:21,730 --> 00:36:24,950
it. I was gonna say, yeah, but like that. You know, that. That would make

569
00:36:25,450 --> 00:36:28,810
me uncomfortable. My God, when I saw that, I. Was like,

570
00:36:29,210 --> 00:36:33,090
yeah, yeah. People, you gotta ask. That's. And that's the double standard.

571
00:36:33,590 --> 00:36:37,010
That's the double standard. And, you know, you see it from people. That's the worst

572
00:36:37,510 --> 00:36:41,130
part is I've seen it from women who. I've seen

573
00:36:41,770 --> 00:36:44,970
complain about women

574
00:36:45,470 --> 00:36:48,610
doing it to their husbands. Yes. And then they go and they

575
00:36:49,110 --> 00:36:52,410
do it the same. Yes. To other people. That just blows my mind. But it's

576
00:36:52,910 --> 00:36:55,910
a double standard. It is. And it's out there. And that's not the only time

577
00:36:56,410 --> 00:36:59,830
that it's out there. But it's. It's. It's definitely. It's. It's one of

578
00:37:00,330 --> 00:37:04,150
those things where we really have to be consistent with our

579
00:37:04,650 --> 00:37:08,390
respect for others, and we have to be considerate for others.

580
00:37:08,550 --> 00:37:11,990
And, you know, we don't know what kind of trauma people are carrying.

581
00:37:12,490 --> 00:37:15,830
We don't know what kind of bags they're carrying. Maybe they don't speak up because

582
00:37:16,310 --> 00:37:19,230
they have past trauma and don't know how to speak up.

583
00:37:19,730 --> 00:37:22,870
Yeah. And maybe you just sent them on a spiral. Yeah.

584
00:37:23,370 --> 00:37:26,250
You know, like you don't know who you're fucking with sometimes.

585
00:37:26,490 --> 00:37:29,650
You know what I mean? You do not. And that's kind of. You could be

586
00:37:30,150 --> 00:37:33,530
really doing some major, major damage. The best bet

587
00:37:34,090 --> 00:37:38,050
is to, you know, if you're one of those people that you've dealt with this,

588
00:37:38,550 --> 00:37:41,930
you've dealt with people who are putting pressure on you. Maybe you're going to

589
00:37:42,430 --> 00:37:46,090
the club and you're not feeling like you want to play before you

590
00:37:46,590 --> 00:37:49,850
go. The best bet is to kind of, in your

591
00:37:50,350 --> 00:37:53,430
own mind, set clear limits on what you want to do.

592
00:37:53,930 --> 00:37:56,510
Maybe talk to your spouse or your play partner, whoever it is you're going with

593
00:37:57,010 --> 00:38:00,790
maybe your friends and say, look, we're all going. Want everybody to know

594
00:38:00,870 --> 00:38:04,470
I'm not feeling, like, very sexy. Not going to play tonight

595
00:38:04,970 --> 00:38:08,750
or whatever. Start establishing that early on so that everybody knows

596
00:38:09,250 --> 00:38:12,510
before the alcohol starts flowing. Because everybody knows.

597
00:38:13,010 --> 00:38:16,190
Once you start explaining that once everybody's drunk, it doesn't matter.

598
00:38:16,690 --> 00:38:20,030
It goes from their ears down to their genitals and out their pee hole.

599
00:38:20,530 --> 00:38:24,150
Because they do don't listen. Yeah. No, you are so right.

600
00:38:24,650 --> 00:38:28,070
They don't listen. It doesn't happen. So when everybody's sober,

601
00:38:28,570 --> 00:38:33,270
you let them know, this is what I'm planning. You know, it's pure forward expectations,

602
00:38:33,750 --> 00:38:37,550
set safe words. Yeah. If you're going to go to a place where there's

603
00:38:38,050 --> 00:38:41,910
a lot of people, make sure that your friends know when

604
00:38:42,410 --> 00:38:46,030
you have to go or when you are feeling

605
00:38:46,530 --> 00:38:49,430
uncomfortable. Yes. Big time. Yeah, big time. It's so major.

606
00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:55,430
Be able to take timeouts, you know that it can be overwhelming

607
00:38:55,930 --> 00:38:59,670
when you're in a place where everybody's getting it on and you feel

608
00:39:00,170 --> 00:39:03,350
like maybe you're the only one who's not. People make you feel like a prude

609
00:39:03,850 --> 00:39:07,350
if you're not feeling it. And you know, that's a part of the pressure.

610
00:39:07,850 --> 00:39:11,150
Yeah. I remember being invited to swinger parties and they straight

611
00:39:11,650 --> 00:39:15,270
up tell you, yeah, you can show up at 7, but by 9 o' clock

612
00:39:15,630 --> 00:39:18,910
you either have to be in a robe or completely naked or you gotta go,

613
00:39:19,410 --> 00:39:23,030
yeah. And it's like, oh, so if it's 8:59 and I'm

614
00:39:23,530 --> 00:39:26,750
in a really great conversation with somebody and I'm not feeling like I

615
00:39:27,250 --> 00:39:30,070
want to get naked, I have to abruptly end that and go,

616
00:39:30,570 --> 00:39:33,430
okay, well, I'll see you later. I'm out of here. Yeah. And you know,

617
00:39:33,930 --> 00:39:37,470
that's just. Or I have to feel like taking off my clothes. Because we

618
00:39:37,970 --> 00:39:41,070
got invited to parties like that. And I would say no,

619
00:39:41,570 --> 00:39:44,450
even though I wanted to go. I knew that that would be a situation where

620
00:39:44,950 --> 00:39:48,290
I would feel uncomfortable and I would have to. I would feel pressured into getting

621
00:39:48,790 --> 00:39:52,050
naked or whatever. And I didn't like it. I wasn't okay with my body.

622
00:39:52,550 --> 00:39:55,210
I'm barely okay with my body now. Right. You know, I definitely wasn't okay with

623
00:39:55,710 --> 00:39:59,210
it then. So it's important to. Whenever you're feeling overwhelmed,

624
00:39:59,710 --> 00:40:03,490
in situations like that or in places like that, take timeouts, you know,

625
00:40:03,990 --> 00:40:07,250
walk away. Most of the time there's an area outside where the smokers go.

626
00:40:07,650 --> 00:40:11,170
And if you're not allergic to smoke, you know, the smell of smoke or whatever,

627
00:40:11,670 --> 00:40:14,550
go take a walk, go outside, go take a chill, take a breather.

628
00:40:15,050 --> 00:40:18,670
Yeah. Separate yourself for a little bit. You know, you don't have to go brooding

629
00:40:19,170 --> 00:40:22,790
on a corner somewhere, but you can at least, you know, get your mind right.

630
00:40:22,870 --> 00:40:25,790
Figure out maybe your next steps on what you want to do. Are you able

631
00:40:26,290 --> 00:40:28,789
to do this? Are you able to do that, should you be planning your exit?

632
00:40:29,289 --> 00:40:32,710
Whatever. Step away from the pressure. Step away from the pressure.

633
00:40:32,790 --> 00:40:35,990
Yeah, yeah. Avoid keeping up with more

634
00:40:36,070 --> 00:40:39,770
experienced or assertive players. Now that's. I think,

635
00:40:40,270 --> 00:40:44,050
one that I would tell a lot of the newer people that deal

636
00:40:44,550 --> 00:40:49,050
with this kind of issue, these kinds of pressures is

637
00:40:49,210 --> 00:40:52,930
you. You gotta avoid keeping up. Some people not. Not only do they try to

638
00:40:53,430 --> 00:40:56,170
keep up, they try to one up people. You know, they do the.

639
00:40:56,410 --> 00:40:59,770
There's like out in the open blowjob contest to see who

640
00:41:00,270 --> 00:41:02,930
could give the best head or whatever. You know, it's like, really, you don't have

641
00:41:03,430 --> 00:41:06,900
to do all that. Yes. Like, if you're not comfortable, don't do it. Don't do

642
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,980
it. We went to that. Oh, you know what? We went to that hotel takeover

643
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:14,140
that one time, and I was very nervous. I was freaking out.

644
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,620
Everybody was there. They had this gathering and then they were like, okay,

645
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,780
it's the pussy eating contest. And you raised your hand and you brought me out

646
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:25,820
there with you. I did not want to do that. Yeah. And I didn't get

647
00:41:25,980 --> 00:41:29,740
asked if it was okay. Once again, another situation where I

648
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:33,960
was put into something that I was. Felt uncomfortable with. And. And so you

649
00:41:34,460 --> 00:41:37,320
know what I hear? I hear a bunch of complaining. Yeah. Yeah.

650
00:41:37,820 --> 00:41:40,560
Well, it is what it is. That's what I hear. Been together a long time.

651
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,800
I have a lot of complaints. Trust me,

652
00:41:44,300 --> 00:41:47,720
the next episode is going to be a laundry list of complaints. But, you know,

653
00:41:48,220 --> 00:41:51,280
that's. That's one of those things where I was like, okay, well, every. These other

654
00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:54,880
people are doing it. I have to keep up, so I'll do

655
00:41:55,380 --> 00:41:59,000
it. I pressured you into having the podcast. Yeah. That's the whole reason why

656
00:41:59,500 --> 00:42:02,340
I'm talking right now. This is pressure from you. How many times have I quit

657
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:07,820
this show? Several. But you pressure me into coming back. Like, this is constantly

658
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:11,340
getting pressured. This is really. This. This whole show's. For me. I think I'm just

659
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,300
going to play it on loop when I go to work every morning.

660
00:42:16,140 --> 00:42:19,420
I'm telling you. I'm just saying. Now, the big thing right here,

661
00:42:19,660 --> 00:42:23,420
the answer to everything is communication. That's the answer

662
00:42:23,580 --> 00:42:26,700
to everything. What is the answer to everything? Communication.

663
00:42:27,510 --> 00:42:31,510
Really? Yeah. That's nice. And why do you say that? Well, it doesn't

664
00:42:32,010 --> 00:42:35,470
really matter what comes up. When it comes to the pressures, if you're

665
00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:38,950
openly communicating with your friends,

666
00:42:39,110 --> 00:42:42,350
with your spouse or play partners, if you're

667
00:42:42,850 --> 00:42:46,390
even openly communicating with yourself and having the conversation out loud so that you can

668
00:42:46,890 --> 00:42:50,950
hear what kind of internal Pressures you're putting on yourself. You can

669
00:42:51,450 --> 00:42:55,060
really kind of do some self realization and go, okay, really good.

670
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,420
I need to get a plan for myself.

671
00:42:58,580 --> 00:43:01,860
Yeah. I will say that all that goes

672
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:03,940
out the window. If you get pissed drunk,

673
00:43:05,940 --> 00:43:09,900
all of that goes out the window. So, you know, maybe keep control of

674
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:12,980
your faculties. Maybe don't drink so much.

675
00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:17,140
Stop putting pressure on yourself to keep up with the Kardashians, you know, and.

676
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,750
That'S the other thing. You don't need to. That's the other thing, too, that while

677
00:43:21,250 --> 00:43:24,430
we're on it, alcohol usage. Why do people do it?

678
00:43:24,930 --> 00:43:28,430
Yeah, well, they do it because they feel they have to socialize

679
00:43:28,930 --> 00:43:31,990
with everybody. They feel like they have homosexual. They feel the pressure.

680
00:43:32,490 --> 00:43:34,670
Don't. Don't feel the pressure. Like, we.

681
00:43:35,949 --> 00:43:39,390
We don't drink. No, it's by choice. Yes.

682
00:43:39,630 --> 00:43:43,110
And we can have a drink. And we have had a drink here

683
00:43:43,610 --> 00:43:47,080
and there at certain gatherings. But when we first started this, it was

684
00:43:47,580 --> 00:43:51,040
a lot of pressure. Oh, it was hard. It was really hard. People give us

685
00:43:51,540 --> 00:43:54,400
faces and they'd be like, really? And it was hard for us. We would internally,

686
00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:58,080
like, have pressure on ourselves to be like, maybe we shouldn't go out because.

687
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,880
Yeah, we don't drink. Yeah. And I think that came up several different times because

688
00:44:02,380 --> 00:44:05,920
it seemed like every single event that was held was held at a bar

689
00:44:06,240 --> 00:44:10,280
or it was a pub run or, you know, it was. Everything revolved

690
00:44:10,780 --> 00:44:13,440
around, which is not. Yeah. And so we would put pressure on ourselves to go.

691
00:44:13,780 --> 00:44:17,260
Yeah. To kind of hang out with everybody. Yeah. And people who

692
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:20,260
were just getting to know us. It's like, well, what are you drinking? Water.

693
00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:23,620
What are you doing drinking water? You're at a bar.

694
00:44:24,180 --> 00:44:26,100
Let me get you a drink. What do you want? What do you want?

695
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,540
What do you want to drink? First rounds on me, Second rounds on me.

696
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:32,260
Yeah. Now, I think almost everybody pretty much just knows us and knows that we're

697
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:36,020
not drinking, so that helps. But, yeah, I mean, it's.

698
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,060
It's a lot of internalized pressure. Yeah, no, it is.

699
00:44:39,870 --> 00:44:44,030
It's definitely a very big dynamic

700
00:44:44,530 --> 00:44:47,590
situation. I guess we would call it that. That's in the lifestyle. Oh,

701
00:44:48,090 --> 00:44:51,910
totally, totally. Now, I think, not only communicating, but I think

702
00:44:52,410 --> 00:44:55,750
for us as experienced people, and we know that this is

703
00:44:56,250 --> 00:44:59,630
an issue for a lot of new people. We and others out

704
00:45:00,130 --> 00:45:03,990
there can help create safer environments for

705
00:45:04,490 --> 00:45:08,320
people. And we can also, you know, advise people

706
00:45:08,820 --> 00:45:12,040
that no is okay. Even if we're telling them, like, if we're interested in

707
00:45:12,540 --> 00:45:15,080
playing with them. And we're like, hey, do you want to have some fun?

708
00:45:15,580 --> 00:45:18,960
It's okay to say no. You don't have to. We can always do it.

709
00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:23,040
Try again another time. Like, sometimes people need to know

710
00:45:23,540 --> 00:45:27,160
that it's okay to say no. They need to feel that empowerment from

711
00:45:27,660 --> 00:45:31,350
the person that's talking to them or from people who are they

712
00:45:31,850 --> 00:45:35,190
maybe respect more because they've been in. In the lifestyle longer or whatever.

713
00:45:35,690 --> 00:45:39,230
Yeah. We should all be helping curate this safer,

714
00:45:39,390 --> 00:45:42,910
empowered environment that. Hey, guys. It's okay to say no.

715
00:45:43,390 --> 00:45:46,830
And frankly, I like offering that

716
00:45:47,330 --> 00:45:50,470
because if they still say yes after they know it's okay to say no,

717
00:45:50,970 --> 00:45:54,670
then, you know, you're golden. Like, they want you. That's nice. I like that.

718
00:45:55,310 --> 00:45:58,750
So that's one of my favorite things. You know, we really want to create that

719
00:45:59,250 --> 00:46:02,310
culture of. Of a safe environment, a safe space. Yeah.

720
00:46:02,810 --> 00:46:05,910
Where people are okay to say, nah, I'm good. Without getting

721
00:46:06,410 --> 00:46:10,350
labeled a. Or a prude or anything like that. Like, it's okay. You know

722
00:46:10,850 --> 00:46:12,950
what I mean? To say no to the pressure. It's okay to say no to

723
00:46:13,450 --> 00:46:16,390
the pressure. No pressure me, sir. Yeah. Don't be pressured to have sex without a

724
00:46:16,890 --> 00:46:20,030
condom. That's a big one. Don't. That's a big one.

725
00:46:20,530 --> 00:46:23,310
Yes. That's a big one in everybody. And a lot of people. Yeah, there's a

726
00:46:23,810 --> 00:46:25,510
lot of people in there that just don't want to do it. And it's like,

727
00:46:26,010 --> 00:46:29,310
you feel pressured, and it's like, okay, so whatever.

728
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:33,600
Uh, so those are just some examples there. Now, while we're.

729
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:37,480
We're on the subject of being pressured.

730
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,920
You know, it. It was fun. I had an interesting day today. I want to

731
00:46:41,420 --> 00:46:45,200
tell you about my day because it was a very interesting day. What was your

732
00:46:45,700 --> 00:46:49,200
day? My day today. I had to get out

733
00:46:49,700 --> 00:46:53,400
of the house today. Yes. For several hours. Yes.

734
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:57,850
While my beloved wife, partner in crime, and co

735
00:46:58,350 --> 00:47:02,370
host of this podcast, me, you was throwing an

736
00:47:02,870 --> 00:47:06,890
adult sex toy Tupperware party. Stop calling

737
00:47:07,390 --> 00:47:11,170
it that. Here at the house. Yes. Sex toy Tupperware party.

738
00:47:11,570 --> 00:47:14,690
Now, all the stuff that they sell.

739
00:47:15,190 --> 00:47:18,970
Don't get me wrong, it's not Tupperware for sex. No. I wouldn't

740
00:47:19,470 --> 00:47:23,860
even know how you use it as far as Tupperware, but essentially,

741
00:47:24,020 --> 00:47:27,460
they have somebody who is a representative of

742
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:31,140
this company. They come in, right? Yes. They set up their.

743
00:47:31,540 --> 00:47:34,900
All their materials. Yes. Everything that they offer.

744
00:47:35,060 --> 00:47:38,420
Every. They offer a lot of stuff. And it ranges, Right. It's from like.

745
00:47:39,140 --> 00:47:41,620
Like lube. From lube to lotions.

746
00:47:42,100 --> 00:47:45,260
Facial lingerie. Facial cleansers.

747
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:49,640
Lingerie. Adult toys. Adult and for anything.

748
00:47:50,140 --> 00:47:53,760
Kink stuff. And for men and females. For men and men and women.

749
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,720
I got you something that's interesting. So what. So you, you mentioned

750
00:47:58,220 --> 00:48:00,920
that. Yeah. That you got me something. We're gonna, we're gonna round about to that.

751
00:48:01,420 --> 00:48:05,440
But these, these things kind of the

752
00:48:05,940 --> 00:48:09,440
way they work is, you know, you have this person come over, you're hosting.

753
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:13,200
I am hosting. You're using your house to host it.

754
00:48:13,700 --> 00:48:16,800
Yes. This lady comes in, she sets up her stuff. You invite all of your

755
00:48:17,300 --> 00:48:20,990
close friends. Yes. And they invite their friends. Yes. And they all

756
00:48:21,490 --> 00:48:25,470
show up to this shindig. Yes. You put out the nice china

757
00:48:26,430 --> 00:48:30,310
with the little sliders and chips and sweet

758
00:48:30,810 --> 00:48:34,910
tea. This is Texas. And she

759
00:48:35,410 --> 00:48:39,310
gives a what, two to three hour presentation.

760
00:48:40,110 --> 00:48:44,270
Once all of that's done, everybody has the opportunity to sit

761
00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:48,700
and place their orders. Yes. And some of the stuff is there,

762
00:48:48,780 --> 00:48:52,060
Is that correct? Can buy this stuff? Is there almost everything she

763
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:56,020
sells. Yeah. You're walking out with. And some stuff you can just order

764
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:59,500
online. Yes. Okay. Okay, that's interesting.

765
00:49:00,140 --> 00:49:04,060
That's interesting. And so while, while she

766
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,700
was having her little sex toy Tupperware party, I was

767
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:11,660
out with my kids. We were making sure that we were not anywhere near

768
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:15,710
the house of sex toys. Yes. And while we

769
00:49:16,210 --> 00:49:19,230
were out, I was going to take my

770
00:49:19,730 --> 00:49:23,350
kids to shoot pool. Huh. And when we

771
00:49:23,850 --> 00:49:27,270
walked, we realized that the pool place did not open up till noon. Okay.

772
00:49:27,770 --> 00:49:30,990
Okay. So it was 11 o' clock. Okay. And the

773
00:49:31,490 --> 00:49:34,750
boys were like, well, I'm hungry. Okay, cool, let's go

774
00:49:35,250 --> 00:49:39,160
get something to eat and then we'll go shoot some pool. All right. So we

775
00:49:39,660 --> 00:49:43,120
went to local wing place. Okay.

776
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,960
And we proceeded to eat. Now, I didn't realize, and I'm

777
00:49:47,460 --> 00:49:50,680
sorry, guys, this is not sexual. I didn't realize that chicken wings were

778
00:49:51,180 --> 00:49:54,800
so damn expensive. Oh, yeah. So we're sitting in this restaurant

779
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:58,720
and I'm inflation baby sitting across from my two teenage

780
00:49:59,220 --> 00:50:02,480
boys and they order a 10 piece

781
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,560
each. Each. Okay. And your husband ordered a 10 piece.

782
00:50:07,060 --> 00:50:10,000
Okay, but I only ate six. I brought you four. Okay. But anyways,

783
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,920
each combo, 10 piece combo because it comes with fries

784
00:50:14,420 --> 00:50:18,480
and a drink. Each one ran $19.

785
00:50:18,720 --> 00:50:22,520
Oh, my God. Yeah. So after everything

786
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:25,440
was said and done, I walked out of there paying like 75 bucks.

787
00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:30,200
Yeah. That's crazy. For three people. For three people. Holy crap.

788
00:50:30,700 --> 00:50:33,330
I know, I know. And we were done in an hour.

789
00:50:34,130 --> 00:50:37,250
So we sat down at 11:30, finished at 12:30.

790
00:50:37,570 --> 00:50:41,170
We got in the car and we're like, okay, fine, let's go shoot some Pool,

791
00:50:41,490 --> 00:50:44,450
you know? Yeah. We get to the pool place,

792
00:50:44,770 --> 00:50:48,490
we walk inside, and I'm like, you know, that's good. We got another hour,

793
00:50:48,990 --> 00:50:52,650
hour and a half. It's probably like eight or nine dollars an hour. We'll play

794
00:50:53,150 --> 00:50:56,450
a couple hours, we'll go home. We walk in, the guy's giving me the table.

795
00:50:56,950 --> 00:51:00,230
He looks at our youngest and goes, he's not 21.

796
00:51:00,710 --> 00:51:03,750
And I said, no, he's not. He's 14.

797
00:51:04,630 --> 00:51:08,350
I can't let him in. He's not 21. And I Said, well, by that argument,

798
00:51:08,850 --> 00:51:11,390
you can't let the other one in. He's not 21. And he goes, yeah,

799
00:51:11,890 --> 00:51:14,630
sorry, man. I can't let you guys in. Y' all aren't 21. Oh.

800
00:51:14,870 --> 00:51:18,350
And I was like, that's all right. And so we left. Okay. We got in

801
00:51:18,850 --> 00:51:20,670
the car. I was gonna ask you about that. And so we had to figure

802
00:51:21,170 --> 00:51:23,510
out where we were gonna go. And that's why I asked you. I was like,

803
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,800
where the hell. Like, how much time do we have? And you said, oh,

804
00:51:27,300 --> 00:51:29,400
well, you still got like an hour and a half to two hours. Yeah.

805
00:51:29,900 --> 00:51:32,640
It's like, okay, cool. So then we found another.

806
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:37,000
A more family kind of pool hall. Oh, okay.

807
00:51:37,500 --> 00:51:41,520
We drove to it. And when we got there, we didn't find a single parking

808
00:51:42,020 --> 00:51:45,680
spot. They were so packed. There was. We were in that

809
00:51:46,180 --> 00:51:49,760
parking lot for 15, 20 minutes, just driving around looking for a

810
00:51:50,260 --> 00:51:53,540
parking spot. Nobody ever left. So by that time

811
00:51:53,700 --> 00:51:57,180
it was like, well, what the hell do we do now, huh? So then

812
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:01,540
we drove to Dairy Queen. We got. We got some, some ice cream. Okay.

813
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:05,020
We sat there. You didn't bring me any of those. Of that? Well, it wouldn't

814
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:08,420
have lasted because you had me waiting forever to come home.

815
00:52:08,980 --> 00:52:11,060
I would have had to have drank your. Your ice cream. I bought you a

816
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:15,060
toy. Yeah, we're good. I'm telling you about my day. Okay, go ahead.

817
00:52:15,540 --> 00:52:18,750
So we ate our ice cream, took a little bit of time.

818
00:52:18,830 --> 00:52:21,150
Then we went to Half Price Books.

819
00:52:22,190 --> 00:52:25,310
I bought a couple books. Didn't spend too much money.

820
00:52:25,390 --> 00:52:29,470
Okay. And then I was like, okay, it's. It's three o' clock.

821
00:52:30,030 --> 00:52:32,510
Should be able to go home now, right? Yeah,

822
00:52:32,910 --> 00:52:36,070
well, no, no. So then we went to

823
00:52:36,570 --> 00:52:39,710
Walmart. We're at Walmart for a while. What'd you spend there?

824
00:52:40,270 --> 00:52:43,870
Nothing. Actually, I was waiting for you to tell me that I was

825
00:52:44,370 --> 00:52:47,770
clear to come home. Okay. And it's now well past 3:00.

826
00:52:48,270 --> 00:52:51,810
Oh, yeah. You said I could come home at three. Yeah, I'm Walking around Walmart

827
00:52:52,310 --> 00:52:54,770
just wanting to buy all sorts of stuff, and I'm really not wanting to be

828
00:52:55,270 --> 00:52:58,490
there. And so I'm like, come on, let's go.

829
00:52:59,450 --> 00:53:03,010
We can go. And I'm texting you and you're not answering. You didn't answer any

830
00:53:03,510 --> 00:53:06,130
of your text messages. So I was like, screw it. She said she'd be done

831
00:53:06,630 --> 00:53:09,850
by three, so let's just go home. So we went home. That was.

832
00:53:10,350 --> 00:53:13,770
That was pretty much my day. And here we are now. Good story. That was

833
00:53:14,270 --> 00:53:16,370
a good story. So you got me something. What did you. What did you get

834
00:53:16,870 --> 00:53:19,130
me? Tell me what we got here. I see that little pink bag there.

835
00:53:19,610 --> 00:53:23,610
Oh, man, I got lots of goodies. Because. Because people bought

836
00:53:24,110 --> 00:53:28,570
stuff. People bought stuff? Yeah. So this right here is called the

837
00:53:29,070 --> 00:53:32,090
no boundaries. Okay. It's like my pants from Walmart. So it's like.

838
00:53:32,590 --> 00:53:35,930
Oh, yeah, yeah. No boundaries. So it's. It's like a

839
00:53:36,090 --> 00:53:39,960
C ring. So like a conquering, Right? But it. There's no. It's too.

840
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:43,320
Let me explain to y' all what it looks like. It looks like the collar

841
00:53:43,820 --> 00:53:47,160
to a horse that you're like a nose steering.

842
00:53:47,660 --> 00:53:50,280
The. Like a horse thing, right? Like a nose thing, but it's little. It fits

843
00:53:50,780 --> 00:53:54,680
in the palm of my hand. But you put this thing around

844
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:58,000
your penis. How big do you think my

845
00:53:58,500 --> 00:54:02,400
penis is? Jesus. Oh, yeah, it. It fits. And it's

846
00:54:02,900 --> 00:54:06,280
supposed to help you when you're jacking off, but it also, if you

847
00:54:06,780 --> 00:54:09,840
can leave it on, it'll kind of help me, like,

848
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:13,640
get off. Get you there. Really? And you can use it on me. But I

849
00:54:14,140 --> 00:54:17,400
have something like this. I have a bullet. But this right here, I've been eyeing

850
00:54:17,900 --> 00:54:21,560
it for. Really? Yeah. Because you like the way my. I like it when you

851
00:54:22,060 --> 00:54:25,040
use your vibrator while I'm inside of you. Yeah, I bought lots of things.

852
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:28,240
You what? I got lots of things. You got lots of things. I do.

853
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:31,530
That's good to know. What else do you get? So I got this, right?

854
00:54:32,030 --> 00:54:34,650
This is the little no boundaries thing. We're gonna try that. Okay.

855
00:54:35,370 --> 00:54:39,130
Oh, man. Goodness gracious. There's a lot

856
00:54:39,630 --> 00:54:43,290
of stuff in that bag. I know. This thing right here is called gps because

857
00:54:43,790 --> 00:54:47,570
this is a G spot cream. G spot? Yeah. Like, you put

858
00:54:48,070 --> 00:54:51,130
it on there and it makes your vulva inflamed.

859
00:54:51,690 --> 00:54:55,210
This is pheromones. Pheromones? Yeah. You're gonna like that.

860
00:54:55,710 --> 00:54:58,450
I have those. You just bought some.

861
00:54:58,610 --> 00:55:02,130
Yes. This is lube.

862
00:55:02,210 --> 00:55:05,970
That tastes like cake now. Okay, before you go

863
00:55:06,470 --> 00:55:09,970
any further, explain to Me the point of lube that has flavor.

864
00:55:10,770 --> 00:55:14,010
So this is. Or it's a massage.

865
00:55:14,510 --> 00:55:17,770
Hold on. Yeah. No, it's a lubricant. It's. If you're eating me, you know,

866
00:55:18,270 --> 00:55:21,330
you're down there and we're gonna fuck at some point. So. But.

867
00:55:21,830 --> 00:55:24,770
But. So that's the confusing part. So if I'm going down. And if I'm going

868
00:55:25,270 --> 00:55:27,970
down on you or say it's the other way, that you're going down on me,

869
00:55:28,330 --> 00:55:32,450
you're using your. No, no. So a woman's

870
00:55:32,950 --> 00:55:36,730
vagina only has lou, like, natural lubricant for the first two

871
00:55:37,230 --> 00:55:40,330
inches. Okay. After that, there's no lube.

872
00:55:40,730 --> 00:55:43,210
That's where it kind of feels a little dry sometimes.

873
00:55:43,929 --> 00:55:46,770
And you can feel. I don't know if you can feel it, but we can

874
00:55:47,270 --> 00:55:50,090
feel it when it's dry. And it goes like your body just kind of.

875
00:55:50,590 --> 00:55:53,930
You know, it's weird. Really? Yeah. So this one tastes like cake.

876
00:55:54,130 --> 00:55:57,010
Okay. I bought another perfume that I've been dying to have.

877
00:55:57,970 --> 00:56:01,970
I got body do, which is an oil that you put in after

878
00:56:02,470 --> 00:56:07,410
you shower. I also bought. This is a personal moisturizer.

879
00:56:08,050 --> 00:56:10,130
Personal moisturizer for my body.

880
00:56:10,930 --> 00:56:14,690
This. Wait, what did you say this was? It's. It's another perfume

881
00:56:15,190 --> 00:56:18,450
that I've been wanting. A perfume. Yeah. So happy Mother's Day to me. Okay.

882
00:56:18,950 --> 00:56:23,490
And this is. These are drops. So you put these drops on

883
00:56:23,990 --> 00:56:27,650
your vagina. On the outside of your vagina. Okay. And it kind of.

884
00:56:27,730 --> 00:56:31,330
It has hyaluronic acid and all these things that you put on your

885
00:56:31,830 --> 00:56:33,730
face that kind of tighten. You use that stuff on your face. But it's not

886
00:56:34,230 --> 00:56:36,610
really to tighten, but it's kind of like keep it moisturized and kind of keep

887
00:56:37,110 --> 00:56:40,210
it. The opposite. Tightens your vagina. I didn't get that. Vaginal rejuvenation. There is one

888
00:56:40,710 --> 00:56:42,890
that does that, but I didn't do that one. Yeah, this right here just kind

889
00:56:43,390 --> 00:56:47,050
of makes it look supple. The hell does that mean? Well,

890
00:56:47,550 --> 00:56:49,530
when I drop it, when I put it on, you're going to see. We'll take

891
00:56:50,030 --> 00:56:53,380
pictures of it looking supple. And then this is called. This is

892
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:57,780
what she calls no funk. This is a 24 odor control. I'm thinking

893
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:01,140
that this is more like Lumi, but I figured that this is for us when

894
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:04,380
we go to the gym. Okay. Even though we don't. I mean, I don't.

895
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:08,340
We shower. Yeah. But, you know, I'll be. I don't know. I mean, if we're

896
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:10,780
going to have Sex with somebody at the gym. That's different. I mean, I don't

897
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:14,380
know. These gloves, homie, it looks like those pet.

898
00:57:14,700 --> 00:57:18,800
Pet washing gloves. Gloves are. It's not silicone.

899
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:22,520
It's the same material. My toys are. No, this is a.

900
00:57:23,020 --> 00:57:27,040
These are body and massaging. Stuff this with

901
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:30,160
this. With this right here.

902
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,839
Oh, man. You're gonna

903
00:57:34,339 --> 00:57:37,360
go to heaven. Am I? Yes. Do you want to go

904
00:57:37,860 --> 00:57:40,480
to heaven now? We don't have any time. We got a lot going on.

905
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:43,280
We got a meet and greet at a sex club tonight. We do.

906
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:46,970
Well, I get to use these later. Yeah. I'm excited.

907
00:57:47,050 --> 00:57:50,610
I'm excited. That is exciting. That. That is exciting. Well, you know what? I'm glad

908
00:57:51,110 --> 00:57:54,290
that you had a great time at our house. Thank you. I'm glad that all

909
00:57:54,790 --> 00:57:57,490
your friends had a great time. Thank you for coming, everybody who came. I appreciate

910
00:57:57,990 --> 00:58:01,129
it. And, you know, who knows? Maybe we'll host another one. I'm sure we will.

911
00:58:01,629 --> 00:58:05,130
I don't know. I don't quite understand why. It's just women only. Oh, she explained

912
00:58:05,630 --> 00:58:09,170
it to me. Yeah. Men. They don't have one for men, I'm sure. But they're.

913
00:58:09,670 --> 00:58:13,260
It's mainly for women. Keep things to themselves. Like,

914
00:58:13,340 --> 00:58:16,700
what if some men don't like their women to have

915
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:20,700
toys? And some men don't like to know that, oh, their woman is dry

916
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:24,220
when I'm not getting you there. Really? So that's why,

917
00:58:24,940 --> 00:58:28,140
you know, it's real. That's so dumb. All right,

918
00:58:28,540 --> 00:58:31,620
well, anyways, this was. This was a fun day. We're gonna have to wrap it

919
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,460
up because, like I said, we have a lot going on today. Yes, we do.

920
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:37,900
And we have about an hour or so drive that we're gonna have to make.

921
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:41,540
So wish us luck, because we're gonna have some fun tonight. Let me

922
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:45,460
tell you. I will tell you. That big dog here, he's getting laid. Yes,

923
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:49,100
he is. He's getting laid. Let's do it. That's the plan. Let's do it.

924
00:58:49,260 --> 00:58:52,460
So I'll be doing some dances tomorrow. Anyways,

925
00:58:52,540 --> 00:58:56,660
thank you so much for joining us. We really enjoy you guys joining

926
00:58:57,160 --> 00:59:00,660
us every week. Remember that you can reach out to us. We love to hear

927
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:04,060
from you. If you can find us on our social media,

928
00:59:04,900 --> 00:59:08,660
it's there on Facebook. And if you go to our Facebook, you can

929
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:12,220
actually find our phone number where you can call or text us. Leave us

930
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:16,100
a voicemail if there's anything you want portrayed on the air. If you have any

931
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:20,380
questions, if you have a topic of discussion, whatever you

932
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:23,780
just want to tell us that we're fine. Whatever. By all means,

933
00:59:24,020 --> 00:59:27,620
hit us up. You can also message us on Facebook, you can message us on

934
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:32,180
Instagram, you can message us on TikTok, on all the socials.

935
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:36,760
Pretty much. Pretty much. Not all of them. Yeah, but we're on most of them.

936
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:40,400
So, anyways, we appreciate you guys showing some

937
00:59:40,900 --> 00:59:44,320
love, and we hope to hear from you soon with that. We will see

938
00:59:44,820 --> 00:59:45,640
you guys next week.