Navigating Friendship Boundaries in the Lifestyle

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. We explore topics

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surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships, and related subjects in an

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open and candid manner. Please be advised that we are not licensed marriage or

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sex therapists, and the content shared here is for entertainment and informational purposes

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only. If you are under 18 years of age or prefer not to engage with

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discussions about sex, relationships, or mature language, we strongly

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recommend that you refrain from listening further. However, if you are of legal age and

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comfortable with this content, we invite you to settle in and enjoy the show.

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Hello and welcome to Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm Pris.

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And, you know, I was watching. I just want to

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jump into this. I was. I was watching on Amazon prime, they have this.

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They have those live channels. Yeah. You know, so you can just click on any

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live channel and it's like this one show. They just create a whole channel out

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of. They created a channel out of Saved by the Bell. And for

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those of you that don't know what Saved by the Bell is, it was kind

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of like daytime drama for kids. You know, it was like,

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right after the Saturday morning cartoons, they would show it. Yeah. A bunch

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of teenagers, you know, at Bayside High. I don't know.

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Google it. I'm not going to break it down. Anyways, I was watching

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all of this, and I realized that Zack Morris is

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a terrible human being. And not only is he a

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terrible human being, but he's a terrible, terrible friend.

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Yes. And in almost every single episode revolves

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around Zach acting like a real shit to his friends.

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Right. And it's never really

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handled properly, but it always has a happy ending at the end.

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Yeah. So it got me thinking. Okay.

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And I kind of put it all together, and I said, you know,

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we've been in the lifestyle a long time. We preach about how

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you have to find your. No. You have to have your voice.

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Right. But it's even

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harder to say no to somebody who you're

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friends with. It's hard to chastise your

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friend when they've crossed a boundary. Yes.

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And especially in a public place, because one thing that we

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don't want to do is we don't want to embarrass anybody. Yeah. It's not our

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thing. But sometimes, realistically,

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it's easy to put somebody in their place when you don't know them.

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Yes. But say. Say you. Not only do you know

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them, but you're really close with them. You're really good friends with them.

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Something happens. It's in a public

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setting. Maybe it's an event or Something like that.

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And say your friend is either really drunk or

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under the influence or just decides that this is the time

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to cross that boundary and crosses a boundary with you.

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How do you handle that? Me? How do I

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handle that? How do you handle that? Let's talk about you

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for a second. How do you handle it? Really depends on the friend.

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And what kind of boundary do they cross? Explain that,

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please. So if we're in a public setting, is this an LS setting or just.

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Just a public setting, period? Well, it. Either or I

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would actually say more public setting, like a meet and

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greet. Okay. Some sort of public event. Yeah, it's LS people and

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just cross. The boundary with me. Right. I would probably

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walk away from the situation at the time, at the moment

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just because I don't want to cause a scene. But it does depend on the

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friend. Now, what do you. What do you mean by that? So is it

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somebody that we always hang out with? Is it just somebody that we see only

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at things like this? So what. What is your reaction for the

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varying degrees? So if it's somebody who we've hung out with

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a lot and, like, we're really close to, I may.

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I may walk away from the situation for the moment and then come back

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to them and then the next day, definitely tell them,

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yeah, hey, what you did. Like, message them. Yeah. Like,

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hey, what you did wasn't really cool. Now, if it's somebody

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that I do not talk to on the regular basis,

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I would definitely tell them maybe not there,

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because it depends on the setting. I don't want to embarrass people. Right.

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But sometimes I really don't care if I embarrass you, because if you.

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If you've done something to me and I felt a certain way. So it really

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depends on how I'm feeling also. Sure. If you've. If you've done something to

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me and I just didn't care for it, and I know that you're drunk,

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I'll maybe let it go and maybe make a. Or maybe make a

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funny, like, I'm gonna break your arm next time you do that type

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of situation. But I don't want to cause a scene,

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you know? Right. I don't want to cause a scene. Well, let.

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Let's kick this up a notch. Okay? Okay. That's assuming

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that they crossed your boundary. But what

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if. Just to kind of change it up a little bit, what if you're

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with your friend? Okay. You're close to this person.

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Okay. This person's had a lot to drink. Yes.

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And you see them crossing somebody else's boundaries and

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you know that they're making somebody uncomfortable. You know

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that what they're doing is, is causing an issue. I have

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seen that. We have seen. We have seen that now. We've seen it

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most of the time. We've seen it with guys on two women, but we've actually

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seen it with. Women and, and yeah.

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So in situations like that where you're with somebody that, that you're

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really, really good friends with and they are crossing a.

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Other people's boundaries and you know this, you know that they're making.

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I can just see, I don't know if it's, if they're crossing a boundary,

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but I can tell that the person. They'Re making somebody uncomfortable. Uncomfortable.

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What do you do as, as a, as a friend? Unfortunately,

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I totally ignored it. Yeah. I didn't say anything

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other than to you. Yeah, I didn't. I, I should

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have told that person after the fact,

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but I didn't wanna. I know this person and

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I didn't wanna embarrass them. And it's sad

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because I feel like I should have said something. But also it

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goes both ways. Like they should have said something too.

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You know what I mean? Like the victim should have said something. But that's kind

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of. It is putting a lot on the victim. Yeah, it really is. And because

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that's like saying for somebody who got raped, well, why didn't you report it?

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Well, I mean, that's a little different. I mean that's, that's a bit more extreme.

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That' extreme case of it. But you know what I'm saying, I, and I.

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And I'm sure the guy didn't want to embarrass the person and try to remove

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himself from the situation and still it

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still didn't happen. Like it still. It just pursued and went on.

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I mean, it's not just that one time that we've seen this several different times.

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Yeah. I don't know. I, I have

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yet to say anything and it's because I

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don't know, I don't want to embarrass. I really don't want to. And I don't

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know if it's my. Place, you know, if it's your place. Yeah. Like, although they're

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my friend, it didn't happen to me and I would most. Like, I mean now.

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So you're saying this because it's a woman to a man. Let's talk about

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that double standard for a second. For sure. Because if this was the opposite and

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we've seen it. I would say. Yeah. You straight up said, I am going to

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jump in there and I'm going to take care of this. Because you're big into

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empowering women. I am. And you're big into protecting women. But let's

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keep in mind that, you know, guys, men get this. It happens to

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you. Yeah. You know, whether you like it or not. Right. It happens

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to you. It does. And no, you are

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very. You are very right. But you know what? I don't know.

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I don't know if it made the person uncomfortable

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because of the setting or did it make the person uncomfortable

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because it was happening. You got to stop referring to one specific situation.

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We've seen this several different times. Yeah. So you can't really pinpoint.

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Can't be settings. Yeah, yeah, we've seen this

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several different. I don't know. I would definitely now speak

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up. Just because you called me out. Just because I called

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you out. Because you called me out. And it's a double standard. It is an

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absolute double standard that people don't seem to recognize.

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And whenever a guy jumps out and says, hey, that's not fair,

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people kind of give him a hard time, and it's like, dude, sack up.

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Because that's the kind of world that we live in, you know? Now, this also

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works for. In your instance, Right. You like

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when people do that. To an extent. To an extent.

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But if you don't like it, why don't you stop it?

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Do you know what I mean? Like, it depends on who's doing it. Yeah.

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So, I mean, it all works out. I mean, I'm not. I'm not shaming that

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person. I'm not shaming anybody. I'm just saying. Feels like you're shaming me. Right.

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Well, I'm saying, like. Like, if someone's doing something to me I don't. Like,

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I'm gonna say something. Yeah. And if they make me uncomfortable, I'm gonna say something.

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Right. Like, honestly, I don't care. Right. I've said

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it, I've done it. I've gone to extremes. I don't. I don't care

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if I don't like something. You're making me feel uncomfortable. I'm gonna tell you.

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But you're a guy. Why don't you say something

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to a girl when they're making you feel. When you don't really

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care for that person to be doing what you're. What they're doing to you?

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You know, I. It depends when it comes

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up. I. I really don't like the Confrontation of

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it. Yeah, I don't. And when it happens to me,

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I. I don't like it. But it's not a big enough deal

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for me to say, okay, this needs to stop. But it's things like that that

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make it keep happening to other people. Yeah, but, like, somebody has to

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put a stop to it. Right? Like. Like you're.

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You're just one. That person could be doing it to 10 more people.

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Do you know what I mean? Like, you got to stop it when it happens.

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So. But see, so you're. You're. You're.

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You're pitting it on the. No, it works both ways.

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One, that person should not be doing that. Drunk or not.

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You shouldn't be doing that. Learn how to control yourself.

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Right. But it also.

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Empower yourself is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. You know what I mean?

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I'm not shaming you. Everybody needs to find their voice. That's. That's a hard one,

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though, because not everybody does know. And you're right. Yeah, but. And sometimes,

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you know, I think it's harder to tell friends no

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than it is to tell strangers no. I will tell you that is very.

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Very true, because if it's a stranger, It's. It's easily,

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hey, I don't have to ever see this person. It. Yeah, but if it's a

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friend, it's weird on the relationship. It can put a strain

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on things. It'll. You know, you probably like that person. It's like, what the hell,

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man? Yeah. And I've had friends where they've crossed boundaries or

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where they're making me feel uncomfortable, and I've told them, you're making me

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feel uncomfortable, or, I don't like that. And it's

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gone pretty well. Yeah. Now, did they listen? Do they still do what they

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do? No, they don't. But, you know, I don't know who

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else are doing that too. Right. But I feel like,

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empower yourself, whether you're a female or a male, empower yourself

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to at least say when you don't like something.

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And I totally get it, because men do not want to be mean to women.

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You know, I tell you what, not only do men not want to be mean

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to women, there's a fear of mine. Okay?

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So bear with me for a second. Wait, do you

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want to say this on. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, so this is

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a fear of mine. And unfortunately, you and I, we're exhibitionists.

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We like to put on a show, and when we go to the

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club, we go straight to those beds out in

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the middle, and we have our fun. Right.

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The thing about those beds. Those beds.

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That. That area is that it's open for people to watch,

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and it's supposed to be. Oh, a place where people can join.

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If invited. Yes. Right. Oh, and we.

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That's. And that's the key. If invited. If invited.

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If invited. Being out in the open like

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that and performing out in the open like that. Not everybody understands that part

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of if invited. They. They think it's free for all. Free for all.

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That it's open. And my fear is that somebody

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that I'm not into, attracted to, or even know

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will just decide to start sucking

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my dick. You know? So. You know what I mean? Like. And I would never

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let that happen. Yeah. Ever. I would never let that happen,

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as I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't let somebody, you know, I didn't, like,

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touch me. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like.

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Yeah. Well, I mean, with you, I don't think I really have to worry about

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that, because people that you. Yeah. But sometimes I'm writing you, and I don't know

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who's behind you. Oh, for instance, this past time

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we went to the club, there was this couple that I

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was. I was like, they just. They better not touch me. But they

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were around the bed like freaking sharks.

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Yeah. And they were behind me when

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I was writing you. And then we change positions,

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and you got on top of me, and that's

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when I noticed them behind you. I was like, oh, shit. They were behind me

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and giving this look of like we

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were pieces of meat. And.

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Yeah. I. I'm probably the most vocal between

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us. Yeah. I am the one who will say, no. I don't care. Even if

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you. If I know that you like the person and they're doing something to you,

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if I am not in the mood, I will move them. I have no problem

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with that. Yeah, but it is. It is. It's. It's kind of

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00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,540
like people, you know, you're gonna have to put someone in the spot.

223
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,420
And whenever we go to those. Those beds, please understand, I am

224
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,240
always ready to tell somebody, move. Well, you know, that's just always been a

225
00:14:57,740 --> 00:15:00,280
fear of mine. Yeah. I was never like, that's gonna happen, you know,

226
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:04,080
And. But the primary reason why it's a fear of mine is because. I don't

227
00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:07,840
know. I don't know if I'd be able to. To put

228
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:11,600
a stop to it if I'm naked. And I know that

229
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:16,040
this sounds weird. No, I understand. But if I'm naked, that's the most vulnerable

230
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:19,920
position that I could be in. Yeah. You know what I mean? And for something

231
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,860
to happen like that, I don't know if I could put a stop to it.

232
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,140
I'd probably be like, oh, I mean, this is happening now.

233
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:31,620
We've. We've been there, and men

234
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,500
have not touched me. I know. Have. Some women have had that issue. Men have

235
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:40,020
not touched me that I didn't know. Yeah. A friend may come by

236
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,780
and, like, pat my little butt or big ass. Not little.

237
00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:48,350
But no one's ever done that to me. Women. Women have,

238
00:15:48,910 --> 00:15:51,870
but I was okay with that. Yeah.

239
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:55,630
I. I could see where you would feel like, ooh, Not.

240
00:15:55,870 --> 00:15:59,150
I don't. I don't know if I could necessarily put a stop to it.

241
00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:02,710
If you're with me there, I could definitely. I mean, obviously. Yeah. But. But,

242
00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:06,510
I mean, that's just always been one of my fears, is that I'm

243
00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:10,790
gonna get stuck in this position or like, a house party where

244
00:16:11,290 --> 00:16:14,710
we're playing in the bed and somebody that I'm not attracted to or not

245
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:18,470
interested in can jump in there and just grab a hold

246
00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:22,390
and start getting into it. You know, realistically, they should be asking.

247
00:16:22,890 --> 00:16:25,270
For consent, and it's only happened a few times, and.

248
00:16:25,670 --> 00:16:29,310
Yeah. Yeah. It's only. It's happened to you. It has.

249
00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:32,710
Yeah. I was busy. I didn't. I didn't notice. But if.

250
00:16:32,870 --> 00:16:36,510
I don't know sometimes, like, when we go to house parties

251
00:16:37,010 --> 00:16:41,430
or whatever, I don't know who and what you like because

252
00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:45,240
you're. Because you like everything. Yeah. But we

253
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:48,560
talk about a lot of stuff now, you know, if there's somebody I'm not into.

254
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,920
Yeah. And now. Now I know that, and I get real.

255
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,240
I have to do the whole, oh, this is my dick. You cannot have it

256
00:16:56,740 --> 00:17:00,120
right now. Yeah. Yeah. You get very alpha. Yeah. But,

257
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,680
yeah, it's. It's happened. It's happened a few times. Yeah.

258
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,120
Yeah. It's been a little nutty with that. When that happens,

259
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,640
I never know how to react to it. I will say that,

260
00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:14,770
you know, I don't want to be an. You know, I don't want to embarrass

261
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:18,610
anybody, but at the same time, I would also be embarrassing

262
00:17:19,110 --> 00:17:22,010
myself, you know? Like. Like, I mean, you think. You think you would, right?

263
00:17:22,330 --> 00:17:25,370
Because you're the guy, and that's just the stick. Well, no, that's not.

264
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,890
That's not why I'd be embarrassing myself. I'd be embarrassing myself because I'm causing a

265
00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:32,890
scene. That's the way I would look at It, Yeah, it's. It's. I have

266
00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:37,210
no problem admitting. Yeah. That a woman took advantage

267
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:41,010
of me in an uncomfortable way or whatever. Like, I don't feel like that's demeaning

268
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:44,690
to me at all. Right. Because realistically,

269
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:48,370
it's not like I'm getting overpowered here. It's not an overpowering issue.

270
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:52,290
No, it's. It's a. I don't know how to say no issue.

271
00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:56,530
Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And her not asking. Consent issue.

272
00:17:56,770 --> 00:17:59,890
Yeah. And. And we should.

273
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:03,490
We should have that respect for everybody. We should. We should be asking us,

274
00:18:03,990 --> 00:18:07,330
as women should be asking if it's okay. Yeah.

275
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,980
I mean, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. Most guys

276
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,660
would say yes. Most guys would say yes. Yeah. Or most guys

277
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,580
would say, oh, let me talk to my wife. Yeah. Let me talk to my

278
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,220
partner. Because. Just respectful. Right.

279
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:26,620
But yeah, no, it's. It's definitely double standard,

280
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:29,740
man. It's such a double standard. It is, it is.

281
00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:33,100
Yeah. Because when women do it to men,

282
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:37,540
it's, oh, it's okay, she's drunk and we're gonna

283
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,740
get it on. Yeah. But what if that guy does not

284
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,380
want it? Now let's. Let's take it even further than that.

285
00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:49,660
Because realistically, when it

286
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:54,020
comes to unwanted attention, and I'm gonna call it for what it is,

287
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,860
a lot of people can not

288
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:01,880
admit this out loud, but if the person is

289
00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:06,120
exceptionally attractive, oh, they're gonna get crossing the boundary.

290
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:11,120
They're okay. They're gonna get away with it, most likely. For sure. Because a

291
00:19:11,620 --> 00:19:15,080
lot of times it's not considered harassment if you're good looking. You know what I

292
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:18,760
mean? If it's. If it's wanted attention but they cross the

293
00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:22,640
boundary, it's gonna be like, oh, gosh, I can't. But you're

294
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:26,040
so silly. Yeah. You always do that. You're so silly with most people. I'm not

295
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,510
saying everybody, but yeah, let's. Let's call.

296
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:32,950
Call it what it is, you know, I mean, if you're really, really attractive,

297
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:37,510
chances are you can get away with a lot more things. Yeah. And then if

298
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,950
you're not. I think that's easier for women. Yeah. Yeah.

299
00:19:41,030 --> 00:19:44,230
Women, attractive women can get away with a lot of

300
00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:47,830
things. Yeah, it's. It is unfortunate. It is what it is.

301
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:50,950
They get a lot away with a lot of things.

302
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,720
Yeah. Attractive men cannot.

303
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,080
With certain people. Can with some.

304
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,440
They can with some, but they can't

305
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:05,680
with like. I don't. I don't. I don't care if you're Ken or Barbie.

306
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,720
If I don't, if I don't like it, I'm, I'm gonna say something.

307
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,560
But yeah, no, you are definitely right. I mean,

308
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,200
honestly, definitely. And I'll, I'll even admit it

309
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:20,940
on my own part. If somebody is violating

310
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,980
my boundary and I find them exceptionally attractive,

311
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,780
I'm gonna turn the other way. I'll be like, okay, well,

312
00:20:28,580 --> 00:20:32,100
it's them school, you know, to be like,

313
00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:35,740
yeah. And I hate to be that person to say it, but at least I'm

314
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,060
admitting it out loud. I know a lot of people that would say it and

315
00:20:39,460 --> 00:20:42,740
deny it to the end of the day. I think attractive people have

316
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:45,780
come up to you and I've pulled you away.

317
00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:49,940
Yes. I, I'm, I'm pretty sure because I don't care. You, you ask.

318
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:53,580
Ask. Yeah. You put a stop to. Oh, yeah, ask.

319
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,300
Ask for ask permission first. Like, it's just what it is, man. Like,

320
00:20:57,380 --> 00:21:00,660
you know, I don't understand why people struggle,

321
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:05,220
but I do understand why people struggle. I, I used

322
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,500
to have that anxiety before where it was like, man, I'm just gonna sound

323
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,500
like an idiot trying to figure out if it's okay if I give somebody a

324
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,470
hug. Or is it like, I, I couldn't figure out how to

325
00:21:17,870 --> 00:21:21,870
say without sounding like a weirdo, is it okay that I kiss you

326
00:21:22,430 --> 00:21:25,990
because I'm afraid that somebody's gonna say, yeah, no,

327
00:21:26,490 --> 00:21:30,110
bro, I don't think so. You know, and that could be the husband.

328
00:21:30,910 --> 00:21:32,990
But normally it's you that tells me now.

329
00:21:33,790 --> 00:21:36,950
Yeah, I'm not saying I tell you no.

330
00:21:37,450 --> 00:21:39,910
Oh, that's what I thought you were doing. You're raising your hand. You could kiss

331
00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:43,670
somebody. I do sometimes. Sometimes. Depends the setting.

332
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:47,670
Yeah, sometimes you ask me. I mean, I'm not, I don't care if I don't

333
00:21:48,170 --> 00:21:49,990
want you to kiss somebody. I'll just tell you. But yeah. Well, that used to

334
00:21:50,490 --> 00:21:53,750
be in, in our rules was, was that I had to. Yeah, I had to

335
00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:56,950
ask them and ask you. So I, I would just look at the whole table

336
00:21:57,450 --> 00:22:00,310
and be like, hey, every. Is everybody okay that I kiss her? Yeah. So.

337
00:22:00,810 --> 00:22:04,390
Right. Can I do this now? There's only one person that it matters to or

338
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:06,950
two people that it matters to. The person you're about to kiss and the person

339
00:22:07,450 --> 00:22:10,810
that's married to you. It should matter to me too. Well, you're gonna want.

340
00:22:11,310 --> 00:22:13,970
It's gonna kiss them. You already know. Yeah. Three people right there.

341
00:22:14,450 --> 00:22:17,850
The Father, Son, the Holy Spirit. Yeah, no, I,

342
00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:21,890
I, I really, really struggled with that whole

343
00:22:22,130 --> 00:22:26,530
trying to figure out how to ask that question without sounding

344
00:22:27,030 --> 00:22:31,010
like a weirdo. And now I feel like it's a lot easier.

345
00:22:31,330 --> 00:22:36,000
I mean, it's not totally smooth, but at

346
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:40,600
this point, I've kind of given zero fucks.

347
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,720
At this point, I'm just kind of like, okay, you know what? Either she's going

348
00:22:44,220 --> 00:22:47,080
to tell me no or she's going to tell me yes. Yeah. And even you

349
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:51,200
have admitted that a man asking

350
00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:55,000
consent or a woman asking consent is exceptionally sexy.

351
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:58,960
Yes. So if. If they ask you and

352
00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:02,280
you aren't attracted to them, chances are you're still going to say yes just because

353
00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:06,090
that was an attractive thing that they did. Yeah.

354
00:23:06,590 --> 00:23:10,170
You know, I've been asked. Yeah. From unattractive people.

355
00:23:10,250 --> 00:23:13,690
Yeah. And I told them. Oh, now we know. Yeah.

356
00:23:13,770 --> 00:23:16,890
Yeah. Many times. I have never said no.

357
00:23:16,970 --> 00:23:20,410
Yeah. Never said no. Did you like

358
00:23:20,910 --> 00:23:24,290
all the kisses you've gotten so far? Not all

359
00:23:24,790 --> 00:23:28,690
of them, no. Yeah. Yeah. No. Now, would you know how to

360
00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:32,840
put a stop to something that was happening to me? Absolutely. You've never

361
00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:36,440
had to. I've never had to. But are you always on alert to do that?

362
00:23:36,940 --> 00:23:40,320
Yes. Okay. I was wondering because, I mean, it's a protection thing.

363
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:43,680
You know that. Because I'm very protective of you, girl.

364
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,880
When we go to gas stations and you say you're gonna go to the bathroom,

365
00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:50,320
I'm like, dude, don't get taken. Like, I've seen those movies. You know what I

366
00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:53,960
mean? Yeah. So, no, I am very protective of you, especially in a

367
00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:58,240
setting as. As that. But while I'm protective of you,

368
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,200
I also know that I don't have to be a superhero and

369
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:06,200
jump in in the middle. You are not a victim. Yeah. You, as a

370
00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:09,840
matter of fact, are kind of scary. And if I

371
00:24:10,340 --> 00:24:13,640
had to jump in there for anything, it would be more so for their protection

372
00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:17,440
rather than yours, because I've seen you fight.

373
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:21,280
Yeah. It's not a fun thing to watch. And you

374
00:24:21,780 --> 00:24:25,300
have this weird superhuman strength when you got that adrenaline rushing.

375
00:24:25,850 --> 00:24:29,210
Like, you don't. You don't look like you would do much,

376
00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:33,970
but you're like a train. Like, you have this fierceness.

377
00:24:34,470 --> 00:24:37,850
You're. You're. Maybe you're gonna make people scared. Well, rightfully so.

378
00:24:39,610 --> 00:24:42,650
I mean. I mean, don't cross boundaries. Don't cross boundaries.

379
00:24:43,850 --> 00:24:47,770
I mean, it. Ask for consent. We're actually quite simple. We're very

380
00:24:48,270 --> 00:24:52,700
simple people. We are. If you can just treat us with respect like

381
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,540
human beings. You have conversations with us like we're regular friends,

382
00:24:57,100 --> 00:24:59,580
and then you Ask consent. That's it.

383
00:25:00,140 --> 00:25:03,300
Do it for everybody, man. Like, ask consent.

384
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,700
It is not. It's good practice. You don't. If you don't want somebody

385
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,180
to cross your boundaries, they need to know what your boundary is. Right?

386
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,100
Yeah. And it's a matter. And don't worry about hurting feelings.

387
00:25:15,340 --> 00:25:19,000
They're asking you a question. You are allowed

388
00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:22,360
to say yes or no. And you're allowed to, to say,

389
00:25:22,860 --> 00:25:25,880
no, I'm not ready, or no, I'm not at this moment,

390
00:25:26,380 --> 00:25:29,680
or no, not ever. You know,

391
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,479
read the room. Yeah, yeah.

392
00:25:33,979 --> 00:25:38,760
You know, I, I, I think part of the problem, too, is that a

393
00:25:39,260 --> 00:25:42,440
lot of people look at things as on

394
00:25:42,940 --> 00:25:45,840
the horniness meter. This is. This is really hard to explain. Let me see if

395
00:25:46,340 --> 00:25:49,600
I can find the words right. On the horniness meter.

396
00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:53,840
Okay. We've all had those times where you've just been

397
00:25:54,340 --> 00:25:57,760
so fucking horny and just, you just need it.

398
00:25:58,260 --> 00:26:00,920
Okay. You don't give a shit who's gonna give it to you. You just need

399
00:26:01,420 --> 00:26:04,880
it. Never been there, but okay, you have. We've had talks. Okay,

400
00:26:05,380 --> 00:26:09,760
go. But it's one of those things where, you know, you just get overwhelmed

401
00:26:10,260 --> 00:26:13,800
with just. God, I just, I need this. Right? Okay. And then,

402
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,440
you know, you fool around with somebody, and then after you come, you're like,

403
00:26:17,940 --> 00:26:21,320
oh, God, that was, that was a bad idea. We were

404
00:26:21,820 --> 00:26:26,040
just talking. We were just talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's happened. That has happened.

405
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,600
And that's, I think, very common.

406
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,680
You think? I think that people do that often in the

407
00:26:35,180 --> 00:26:38,680
community. I think that there's a lot of times where people will be

408
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:43,280
like, okay, I'm aiming my, you know, I. Maybe early on,

409
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,120
when they have time, they're a little horny, but they're not overly

410
00:26:47,620 --> 00:26:51,440
horny. They're going, okay, let me, Let me set my sights here.

411
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,160
And then all of a sudden, it's like, okay, that fell through, that fell through,

412
00:26:55,660 --> 00:26:58,400
that fell through. And then they keep going lower, lower down the totem pole,

413
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,840
and then eventually they just settle for whatever

414
00:27:03,340 --> 00:27:06,240
they can get because they want to have sex.

415
00:27:07,630 --> 00:27:10,630
So they've. They've lowered the bar, lowered the bar, lowered the bar,

416
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:14,270
lowered the bar until they're just with somebody who's just gonna do the deed.

417
00:27:14,990 --> 00:27:18,310
And then after they're done, they're like, okay, that's. I.

418
00:27:18,810 --> 00:27:21,750
I don't want to talk to this person again. Oh, you know, like, that,

419
00:27:22,250 --> 00:27:25,670
that exists. That's a thing. That's a thing. Yeah. And so I,

420
00:27:26,170 --> 00:27:30,030
I think that there are people that simply just will

421
00:27:30,750 --> 00:27:34,000
do whatever they have to. To get. To get that nut,

422
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:37,480
so to speak, you know? Yeah. Like, they'll just do it.

423
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,480
Yeah, Yeah. I. I'm. We were talking to somebody and they

424
00:27:41,980 --> 00:27:45,000
were just talking about that, and they're like, yeah, like, it's just. I.

425
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,080
I did it and I wasn't sure why I did it, and it's done.

426
00:27:49,580 --> 00:27:52,200
It's like, yeah. And now. Now what?

427
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,200
Now what do you do? Yeah. Don't cross those boundaries,

428
00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:59,780
homie. Yeah, no, no kidding, man. Now.

429
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,820
Now, could you ever. Could you ever be close enough to

430
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:08,780
a person where you have no more. Boundaries with them like

431
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,500
me right now? No, no, no, no. I always

432
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,780
have boundaries with somebody. Yeah. Yeah. Probably because I married.

433
00:28:17,980 --> 00:28:21,500
Because I married. Boundaries. There will always be

434
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,790
boundaries. There will always be something. But knowing

435
00:28:26,290 --> 00:28:30,110
our dynamic and knowing that your husband is open to whatever

436
00:28:30,610 --> 00:28:34,270
you want, it's more. So you setting boundaries

437
00:28:34,770 --> 00:28:38,710
for yourself. Well, no, because, I mean,

438
00:28:38,870 --> 00:28:42,550
we have a boundary of we're never sleeping at anybody's place.

439
00:28:42,790 --> 00:28:46,390
Right. Like, that's our boundary. I wouldn't let that go for anybody.

440
00:28:47,990 --> 00:28:51,270
But that's a boundary that you have set in place. I think

441
00:28:51,770 --> 00:28:54,950
it's a boundary we've set in place. We both agree to it,

442
00:28:55,190 --> 00:28:58,630
but I could be okay, depending on the person. Yeah.

443
00:28:59,130 --> 00:29:02,510
No, yeah. So be it. But you see what I'm saying? It's a boundary I

444
00:29:03,010 --> 00:29:06,070
put in place. Yeah. No. Yeah. No. Could I let it go?

445
00:29:06,710 --> 00:29:10,590
No, no. I mean, not just that specific thing, but what I'm

446
00:29:11,090 --> 00:29:14,630
saying is, like, there are you set up boundaries in place for.

447
00:29:14,790 --> 00:29:18,440
Because you're married, but you're with a man who's very

448
00:29:18,940 --> 00:29:22,000
open to whatever it is you want. So,

449
00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:26,080
like, say you were dating a woman and you were

450
00:29:26,580 --> 00:29:30,800
real close to her. It was a good relationship. You would still keep boundaries

451
00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:34,160
with them because you're married to me. Yes.

452
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,360
Yeah. Like, I just. I don't know.

453
00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:42,650
I just feel like, though it's. It's. It's me. But. Yes.

454
00:29:42,730 --> 00:29:46,650
Out of respect for myself, or maybe just not of respect for myself,

455
00:29:47,150 --> 00:29:51,010
but just because I feel that certain things

456
00:29:51,510 --> 00:29:54,890
should not be crossed. And whether

457
00:29:55,930 --> 00:29:59,370
we both agree on it, there's just things that I just do not

458
00:29:59,870 --> 00:30:03,290
want to even try to change.

459
00:30:03,770 --> 00:30:07,460
Like, I'm comfortable the way it is, you know? Yeah. So.

460
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,980
Yeah, no, I don't think I would. I don't think there's. I think there.

461
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,620
I'll always have certain something as a boundary.

462
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,820
Yeah. Like something. I ain't got no issue with that. I was just curious.

463
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:22,020
Yeah. Yeah. I'm just playing Devil's advocate. I'm perfectly fine with you not sleeping

464
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,940
anywhere, but. But fine with you not sleeping anyway.

465
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,660
But, you know, like, there's certain things that we've. Yeah. We've agreed on, but I'd

466
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,540
be okay with. Like, we have the no showering rule. Yes.

467
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:37,220
We don't shower with anyone. Anybody. Yeah. Okay.

468
00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:41,340
Yeah. But I don't really care. Yeah. Like, if you were to shower

469
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,620
with somebody, I don't think that it would be the end of the world for

470
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,740
me. We have the no cuddling thing and. And we've cuddled.

471
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:52,100
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, certain things can come down and.

472
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:57,260
And, yeah, it depends on the person, but I will always have things

473
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,380
that I love to keep special for you and I. Yeah. Do you know

474
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,580
what I mean? Like, those are our things. And no, I probably wouldn't change

475
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,300
the boundary. I'd probably always have it. Yeah. Yeah. Just because,

476
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,780
you know, gotta keep something special. I think I get that. Yeah.

477
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,060
I think something has to stay special. If you're. Even if you're in this lifestyle,

478
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:21,140
you have to have something that only you and your partner

479
00:31:21,780 --> 00:31:25,300
do or share. Yeah. You know, something special.

480
00:31:25,620 --> 00:31:29,030
Yeah. Something that's. That's just for y' all. Yes.

481
00:31:29,350 --> 00:31:33,030
Yeah, totally. So things like that. Things like,

482
00:31:33,430 --> 00:31:36,750
you know, no showering with people or whatever it

483
00:31:37,250 --> 00:31:40,990
is, like, those are just things that you and I share. Right? Yeah. Well,

484
00:31:41,490 --> 00:31:44,270
I know you're good with anything. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're not. You're not the one

485
00:31:44,770 --> 00:31:47,590
who puts a lot of the boundaries on us. But also, I'm flexible.

486
00:31:48,090 --> 00:31:51,830
You know, it's like none of your boundaries, I feel, are outside

487
00:31:51,990 --> 00:31:55,720
of. I feel like they're. They're okay. Yeah.

488
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,520
They make sense. Yeah. And we've discussed them and we've. And you've

489
00:32:00,020 --> 00:32:03,480
asked. Well, okay, I'm good with it. But can you explain why? Yeah.

490
00:32:03,980 --> 00:32:06,480
You know, I want to know. I just want to know. And it's why certain

491
00:32:06,980 --> 00:32:10,360
things have to be a little sacred. I mean, I already share your

492
00:32:10,860 --> 00:32:14,440
genitals with other people. Yeah. I could keep some stuff. Yeah.

493
00:32:14,940 --> 00:32:18,360
You know. Yeah. It's nice. This is true. This is true.

494
00:32:18,860 --> 00:32:22,090
Now will it change? I mean, I'm saying right now it's.

495
00:32:22,590 --> 00:32:25,690
It's going to be like this forever. Yeah. I don't know.

496
00:32:26,170 --> 00:32:29,770
You know, you never know. You never know.

497
00:32:30,270 --> 00:32:33,610
Priscilla changes her mind all the time. That is true.

498
00:32:33,770 --> 00:32:37,330
That is. I'm pretty. I'm open to

499
00:32:37,830 --> 00:32:41,450
different things, like dropping different boundaries for

500
00:32:41,950 --> 00:32:45,650
us. If. If. I feel like you

501
00:32:46,150 --> 00:32:49,900
and I have already communicated about it. We've already talked about it. We've already

502
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,900
discussed all the scenarios. Then I'd be okay with it. Like,

503
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,340
I'd probably be like, talk to you and be like, okay, you know, let's,

504
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:01,300
let's, let's, let's. Let me think about it. But yeah, it's,

505
00:33:02,100 --> 00:33:04,980
it's an odd situation sometimes. And I just don't know.

506
00:33:05,860 --> 00:33:08,740
Yeah. I mean, realistically,

507
00:33:08,900 --> 00:33:12,020
you and I, we're not gonna break up for anything. No.

508
00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:15,340
So we already know. Yeah. And we've discussed this.

509
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,240
That there's nothing that you can do or I

510
00:33:19,740 --> 00:33:23,040
can do that can really screw up this relationship. Even if, say,

511
00:33:23,540 --> 00:33:27,280
it's in the heat of the moment. Right. So, like, if I'm in the heat

512
00:33:27,780 --> 00:33:30,360
of the moment with somebody and I don't, you're nowhere around.

513
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:34,600
And I do this thing. As long as I didn't hide it, I come up

514
00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:38,080
to you, we talk about it. You may not be happy. Yeah. But we'll talk

515
00:33:38,580 --> 00:33:41,440
about it. Yeah. And we'll get past it. Oh, yeah. And it'll be okay.

516
00:33:41,940 --> 00:33:46,090
Yeah. And I. That's what I love about this, is that we

517
00:33:46,590 --> 00:33:49,410
don't have to worry about a relationship. A relationship is good.

518
00:33:49,490 --> 00:33:53,010
No. Yeah. We just get to do our own thing. We get to have fun.

519
00:33:53,170 --> 00:33:56,810
Yeah. I'm always afraid of losing friendships.

520
00:33:57,310 --> 00:34:00,930
I. I like the friends that we've made. I enjoy it. But, you know,

521
00:34:01,430 --> 00:34:04,090
as you make friends in the lifestyle, you know, you start getting closer. You start

522
00:34:04,590 --> 00:34:08,920
getting closer, you start getting to know them a little bit better. Sometimes the

523
00:34:09,420 --> 00:34:12,920
person that you get the first time around or the first several times around,

524
00:34:13,420 --> 00:34:16,680
as you get to know them better, you realize they kind of start

525
00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:20,840
letting their true color show. They start acting maybe not

526
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,520
completely different, but maybe, you know, there's things that

527
00:34:26,020 --> 00:34:29,960
you don't agree with or you don't like that sort of thing. And sometimes friends

528
00:34:30,460 --> 00:34:34,710
just grow apart. Yeah. You know, sometimes people are just really in

529
00:34:35,210 --> 00:34:38,670
sync, and then things start driving them to change and,

530
00:34:39,170 --> 00:34:41,950
and move apart. Yeah. And it's sad.

531
00:34:42,430 --> 00:34:45,510
You know, it's not ever fun to lose friends.

532
00:34:46,010 --> 00:34:48,990
But at the same time, it's kind of just how it goes. It is,

533
00:34:49,950 --> 00:34:53,230
it's, it's growing. Yes. You're just growing.

534
00:34:53,390 --> 00:34:56,830
Yeah. You know. Yeah. And, you know, where we

535
00:34:57,330 --> 00:35:00,840
are in our lifestyle journey, there's people who

536
00:35:01,340 --> 00:35:05,080
are on the same path as us. There's people who are on different paths

537
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,160
and, like, different things. And that's cool.

538
00:35:09,660 --> 00:35:13,040
You know, I mean, maybe we're not going to be in the

539
00:35:13,540 --> 00:35:17,000
same groupings or the same circles. Yeah.

540
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:20,440
But we'll always treat each other with respect and we'll be friends,

541
00:35:20,940 --> 00:35:24,040
you know, and that sort of thing. Yeah. Yeah. So,

542
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,410
I mean, you know, it's. You're growing,

543
00:35:27,910 --> 00:35:31,010
you're figuring it all out, and the lifestyle is very.

544
00:35:31,890 --> 00:35:35,850
There's lots of different curves, there's lots of different roads

545
00:35:36,350 --> 00:35:40,770
that you can take, and there's boundaries and there's

546
00:35:41,170 --> 00:35:44,450
dynamics. Everybody has something different.

547
00:35:45,330 --> 00:35:48,650
Everybody has different things they're trying

548
00:35:49,150 --> 00:35:52,930
to accomplish in their relationship, I guess you could say, you know.

549
00:35:53,220 --> 00:35:56,980
Yeah. But still, I mean, circling back

550
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,700
around the boundary part, you definitely have to ask for

551
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,860
consent. You definitely have to see where people are going,

552
00:36:04,260 --> 00:36:06,660
ask your questions. Don't assume.

553
00:36:07,060 --> 00:36:10,740
Yeah. And I know we've said it a thousand times.

554
00:36:12,020 --> 00:36:15,060
Alcohol and heavy drugs do not.

555
00:36:15,860 --> 00:36:19,300
Do not help. No, they don't

556
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,660
help in. In the lifestyle, because you could be crossing a boundary.

557
00:36:24,220 --> 00:36:27,620
And I will tell you the stories that. That Adam and I were

558
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,780
discussing every. These are all taking place while

559
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:36,060
somebody was intoxicated every time. And it's unfortunate

560
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,820
because we've heard horror stories.

561
00:36:40,700 --> 00:36:44,580
I have heard horror stories from women on things like

562
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,620
that. And it's like, women, we already feel really

563
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,530
vulnerable when we're in settings, in lifestyle settings.

564
00:36:52,690 --> 00:36:56,770
Yeah. I personally do not drink. I don't.

565
00:36:57,270 --> 00:37:00,770
I don't drink. And it's because I know that if I do drink,

566
00:37:01,410 --> 00:37:04,730
my inhibitions are going to be completely lowered. Like, I'm not going to.

567
00:37:05,230 --> 00:37:08,850
Even because I'm not a drinker. I'd probably drink too much. Do you know what

568
00:37:09,350 --> 00:37:12,610
I mean? Like, one drink will get me. And, you know, I know

569
00:37:13,110 --> 00:37:16,560
that if you were to have some drinks, you'd probably get sluttier.

570
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,920
Yes. Because we've discussed that. We've discussed this.

571
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,440
And I know that if you drink, you'll probably get sluttier with

572
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:27,480
everybody around, which I'm sure everybody listen to the podcast. Like, dude, let her

573
00:37:27,980 --> 00:37:31,320
drink. I'm not the one stopping her. No, but it's.

574
00:37:31,820 --> 00:37:34,880
It's one of those things where it's like, she's just not. She doesn't want to,

575
00:37:35,380 --> 00:37:37,920
you know, because you experience that loss of control.

576
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:42,120
Yeah. Been there, done that. Yeah. Not. I am 47

577
00:37:42,620 --> 00:37:46,000
years old, and I've done that already. Been there, don't feel like

578
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:48,640
doing it again. Yeah, but all these.

579
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,240
So women are very vulnerable. And then if you bring alcohol

580
00:37:53,740 --> 00:37:56,960
or anything that's going to lower our mind.

581
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:01,600
That's it. Men can take advantage. Women can take advantage.

582
00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:04,400
It's. It's a. It's a shitty situation.

583
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:09,300
But don't And I don't want to shame

584
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,620
anybody. Okay. That's not what I'm here to do or say. I just understand that

585
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,860
when you're, when you're, when you're drunk or when you're drinking

586
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,740
alcohol heavily, you don't know

587
00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:25,740
what's going on. Right. Period. Right. You know, and if you and your partner

588
00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:28,580
are together and y' all are both drinking, no one knows what's going on.

589
00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:32,580
I've heard the most horror stories from women,

590
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:36,590
how they felt like the man took

591
00:38:37,090 --> 00:38:40,670
advantage of him. Everybody was drunk. They were drunk, the guy was drunk.

592
00:38:41,170 --> 00:38:44,190
Okay, well, no shaming, but come on, guys,

593
00:38:44,590 --> 00:38:48,110
you know, be aware. Be aware.

594
00:38:48,510 --> 00:38:51,710
Sorry, I felt like I was preaching there. No, I mean, it's. It's.

595
00:38:52,270 --> 00:38:55,550
I, I. I understand the, the need for alcohol

596
00:38:56,050 --> 00:39:00,080
in this situation because it lowers your inhibitions and

597
00:39:00,580 --> 00:39:04,320
it makes it easier to talk to people. If you have social anxiety, things like

598
00:39:04,820 --> 00:39:08,080
that. I get it. Yeah. But like I've said in the past,

599
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:12,680
there's a. A window of, of time and energy and,

600
00:39:13,180 --> 00:39:16,200
and alcohol. Yeah. Where you can be buzzed,

601
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:20,120
and if you keep drinking, you'll be fine, but if

602
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,000
you continue on, you'll be drunk. Yeah.

603
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:26,780
And I mean, like, you lose control when you're drunk. For you.

604
00:39:27,180 --> 00:39:30,700
I know for a fact that the people that have. The women that

605
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:35,140
have gone up to you in certain situations, at the

606
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,140
club, at a house party, at whatever gathering,

607
00:39:38,620 --> 00:39:41,980
they have most likely always been intoxicated.

608
00:39:42,140 --> 00:39:45,940
Yeah. Yeah. And the guys that have. The guys that

609
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,420
have crossed boundaries with me. Intoxicated.

610
00:39:49,500 --> 00:39:53,580
Yeah. And the women that have crossed. Women that have crossed boundaries.

611
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,150
Yeah. Intoxicated. Every single. Every single time.

612
00:39:57,630 --> 00:40:02,390
Every single time. And I know to keep my

613
00:40:02,890 --> 00:40:05,910
distance from them when they get like that. Right. I'll.

614
00:40:06,410 --> 00:40:10,190
I'll make myself scared. Like, I'll. I'll remove you and I from the situation

615
00:40:10,270 --> 00:40:14,430
and just be like. Which is funny. You know, you're so astute to. I am

616
00:40:14,930 --> 00:40:18,870
the environment, and I am not. Yeah. I'm, like, just in

617
00:40:19,370 --> 00:40:23,060
my own little world. I'm talking to whomever and doing my own thing. You're the

618
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,660
one that pulls me off, and it's like, okay, honey, we're going this way.

619
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,260
Yeah. I don't know what just happened. I'm looking at everybody. I'm listening

620
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:34,660
to everybody around me. I am watching very,

621
00:40:34,740 --> 00:40:37,820
very closely. I'm watching my friends to

622
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,700
make sure they're okay. I'm. I am. I'm. I'm very,

623
00:40:42,020 --> 00:40:45,780
very astute. I am the designated driver inside

624
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,680
of the clubs. Yeah. I mean, I kind of have to be.

625
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:53,400
Yeah. Because again, as a woman, I understand it

626
00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:57,200
happens to men, but as a woman, I am very aware

627
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,560
of my surroundings and what's happening and who's doing what.

628
00:41:01,060 --> 00:41:04,280
Because I don't want to be caught. I don't want to be a victim.

629
00:41:04,780 --> 00:41:06,800
I don't want to be caught in a situation that I cannot get control.

630
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,400
You know, that's just me. I don't want boundaries

631
00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:14,760
crossed because I was not paying attention. Right. I think I have less

632
00:41:15,260 --> 00:41:18,320
to worry about. I. I don't have

633
00:41:18,820 --> 00:41:22,040
a whole lot of boundaries. No. To cross. No.

634
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:26,800
So it's not so bad for me. No. And you're. You don't cross boundaries

635
00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:30,680
with people. No, no, I keep. I. I'm very respectable. Yes.

636
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,680
Yeah. I. I don't. I don't want to be that guy.

637
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:38,520
Like, I've seen that guy. Yeah. I've seen that guy that crosses

638
00:41:39,020 --> 00:41:42,240
boundaries perpetually. Yeah. Like, people talk about

639
00:41:42,740 --> 00:41:46,050
that person. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, there are. There are

640
00:41:46,550 --> 00:41:50,610
a handful of people in this community, in these groups

641
00:41:51,170 --> 00:41:55,090
that have crossed boundaries so often that you are

642
00:41:55,590 --> 00:41:59,289
talked about amongst everybody. And the

643
00:41:59,789 --> 00:42:02,330
moment people know to stay away from you. Yeah. And then the moment you show

644
00:42:02,830 --> 00:42:06,210
up, they'll act nice to you, but then they'll try to keep

645
00:42:06,710 --> 00:42:09,910
their distance from you. Trust me, there are. There are some of

646
00:42:10,410 --> 00:42:13,790
you out there that. That you're just. You. You've crossed

647
00:42:14,290 --> 00:42:18,190
boundaries, and because of that, you have created a reputation for yourself

648
00:42:18,830 --> 00:42:22,670
that you may need to work on. Especially for

649
00:42:23,170 --> 00:42:26,030
us women. We have. We talk.

650
00:42:26,750 --> 00:42:30,870
We talk about everybody. We talk about amongst each other because

651
00:42:31,370 --> 00:42:34,670
we want to keep our community safe. Yeah. We know who to stay away from.

652
00:42:35,620 --> 00:42:38,900
Now. I know that there's women. There's women

653
00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:43,020
that get a certain way that you stay away

654
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:47,340
from. Yes. Personally. So, yeah, it's. It's a thing,

655
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:51,540
guys. It's. We like to keep our community safe. The people

656
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:55,660
that we hang out with like to keep the community safe. So if one of

657
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:59,900
my friends tells me that they felt a certain way with somebody else, I keep

658
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,930
that in mind. So when I see that person, I know. Okay. They're.

659
00:43:04,410 --> 00:43:07,970
When they get this way, this is the way they are. And I

660
00:43:08,470 --> 00:43:11,930
am the one counting everybody's drinks. If you're in my party,

661
00:43:12,250 --> 00:43:14,890
I'm like, okay, you've already had enough. Here's some water.

662
00:43:15,690 --> 00:43:19,330
It gets tougher, though, when it's your friend, though, because if it's

663
00:43:19,830 --> 00:43:22,090
somebody that you're close to, and then all of a sudden, somebody comes up to

664
00:43:22,590 --> 00:43:25,130
you and Says, hey, so. And so is your friend. Yeah.

665
00:43:25,930 --> 00:43:29,700
So this happened. Yeah. And blah,

666
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,940
blah, blah, blah, blah. And before you know it, you're sitting back going, that's.

667
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,900
Man, that's not normally them. And they must have. And so you're creating

668
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:41,740
excuses because they're your friend. Yeah. And then you have

669
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:45,780
to sit back and go, wait, am I standing up for somebody who's.

670
00:43:46,100 --> 00:43:48,900
That has happened to me twice. Yes, it has.

671
00:43:49,220 --> 00:43:52,340
Twice. And I'm like, okay,

672
00:43:53,460 --> 00:43:56,830
who's the problem here? Mm. Like, what's happening

673
00:43:57,550 --> 00:44:00,830
now? Like, scooting back and understanding the whole thing.

674
00:44:01,310 --> 00:44:04,790
I know. I know where the problem lies. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah,

675
00:44:05,290 --> 00:44:09,070
that makes sense. Yeah. I think things get muddled when. When you're friends with somebody

676
00:44:09,310 --> 00:44:13,070
and. But I mean, the only way to prevent yourself from. From having that

677
00:44:13,570 --> 00:44:16,670
is just to not have friends. And that's not. That's not. That's not feasible.

678
00:44:17,170 --> 00:44:19,310
No. You know that. I mean, why be a part of the community if you're

679
00:44:19,810 --> 00:44:22,310
not going to have friends? Yeah. You know, that's the way I look at it,

680
00:44:22,810 --> 00:44:26,390
at least. Oh, life in the lifestyle. It is something.

681
00:44:26,890 --> 00:44:30,310
It is something. It's. It's a lot of. A lot to analyze.

682
00:44:30,390 --> 00:44:34,510
Yeah. Because there's so many different scenarios and situations

683
00:44:35,010 --> 00:44:38,950
that have happened to all of us. And then there's even more situations and scenarios

684
00:44:39,450 --> 00:44:42,590
that haven't happened to everybody, but happened to a

685
00:44:43,090 --> 00:44:46,710
lot of people. To everybody. Yeah. Yeah. It gets. It gets a little crazy.

686
00:44:47,430 --> 00:44:51,110
So, you know, it's. It's one of those things where you really have to evaluate

687
00:44:51,750 --> 00:44:55,110
the friendship when accusations come across

688
00:44:55,430 --> 00:44:59,470
towards a friend. I mean, I know a lot of people get very loyal

689
00:44:59,970 --> 00:45:03,350
to their friends and they're like, no, my friend wouldn't do that. But you have

690
00:45:03,850 --> 00:45:06,790
to sit back and take every single accusation seriously.

691
00:45:07,290 --> 00:45:10,630
Especially if there's more than one. Yes. You know, we belong

692
00:45:11,130 --> 00:45:13,430
to several different group chats,

693
00:45:13,910 --> 00:45:17,430
and we get the lowdown on a lot of

694
00:45:17,930 --> 00:45:21,510
things going on out there. And there's some shady ass shit

695
00:45:22,010 --> 00:45:25,810
going on out there. Oh, my gosh. And there are some bad people doing bad

696
00:45:26,310 --> 00:45:29,410
things, and they're kind of

697
00:45:29,910 --> 00:45:33,530
given opportunity to continue doing bad things because nobody

698
00:45:34,030 --> 00:45:37,890
wants to say anything. You know what I mean? And they just end up

699
00:45:38,390 --> 00:45:41,770
being ostracized behind their backs.

700
00:45:42,270 --> 00:45:46,370
Yes. And people try to keep their distance, but a

701
00:45:46,870 --> 00:45:49,650
lot of times they still end up in the same spots.

702
00:45:50,250 --> 00:45:53,730
Yeah. As these people. Yeah. Like, this happens a lot. Like, we've.

703
00:45:54,230 --> 00:45:57,450
We've seen it happen a lot with a lot of different people. Men and women.

704
00:45:57,530 --> 00:46:00,890
Yeah. Men and women. Women. And it's. Some people

705
00:46:01,390 --> 00:46:05,010
can be very predatory. Yes. I will say

706
00:46:05,510 --> 00:46:09,770
that I have seen that from both men

707
00:46:09,850 --> 00:46:12,810
and women. Yeah. Being very predatory.

708
00:46:13,050 --> 00:46:17,120
Yeah. Which again, for a

709
00:46:17,620 --> 00:46:21,400
woman, when a man is. Seems very predatory. Like,

710
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:26,080
we. We talk amongst each other, and we know not to

711
00:46:26,580 --> 00:46:29,840
be around that person. Yeah. I don't know how you

712
00:46:30,340 --> 00:46:34,440
men do it. Y' all probably don't. I mean, we don't have men Facebook

713
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:38,320
pages like. Like you guys do. Yeah. I mean, I think that's cool. I think

714
00:46:38,820 --> 00:46:41,440
it's good that you women look out for each other, that y' all have groups

715
00:46:41,940 --> 00:46:46,230
and Facebook pages where you discuss certain things on your own without the

716
00:46:46,730 --> 00:46:50,350
men. You know, society has created that. Yeah.

717
00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:54,630
Like, we have to us women, we have to stick together and

718
00:46:55,130 --> 00:46:57,630
we have to support each other and we have to protect each other.

719
00:46:58,270 --> 00:47:01,750
Like, when there's. When there's

720
00:47:02,250 --> 00:47:05,950
a woman who has crossed a boundary, it is severely unfortunate,

721
00:47:06,450 --> 00:47:10,240
because you don't expect it from women, but you expect it from

722
00:47:10,740 --> 00:47:14,040
men. Right. But you don't expect it from women. Double standard. Double standard. And I

723
00:47:14,540 --> 00:47:18,280
have. We have seen it, and it's. It is something that I hope

724
00:47:19,240 --> 00:47:22,640
would change. Can change. It definitely

725
00:47:23,140 --> 00:47:26,120
can change. But again, no one calls them out.

726
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:30,680
They're not gonna know. And alcohol's not going away anytime soon.

727
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,880
No, I mean, really, these.

728
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:37,700
These events are often held at bars. Yeah. You know,

729
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,620
and you can only blame. That so many times. Right. Yeah. Like, that's a.

730
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,260
That's a shitty part about it that you can only say, ah, she was drunk.

731
00:47:45,660 --> 00:47:47,820
Ah, he was drunk. I mean, after a while.

732
00:47:49,340 --> 00:47:52,900
Yeah. It's a problem if. If every single time you go

733
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,900
out and there's an issue and you have to sit back and go, ah,

734
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,500
well, it's because I drank too much. Well, maybe you need to go back on

735
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:02,460
your drink. Yeah. And I have heard it from men and women. Oh, man.

736
00:48:02,780 --> 00:48:05,460
I've heard it. I've heard it a lot, you know. And I've heard it in

737
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:09,400
circles. Yeah. Oh, man. He was. Oh, he was. She was drinking a lot

738
00:48:09,900 --> 00:48:13,080
or he was drinking a lot. And it's like, yeah, I've heard people tell me,

739
00:48:13,580 --> 00:48:16,160
oh, this person did this to me, and this person did that to me.

740
00:48:16,660 --> 00:48:19,320
And I just feel so upset about it. And it's like, well, why didn't you

741
00:48:19,820 --> 00:48:22,240
tell them anything? And they said, oh, well, they were drunk. So I'm just kind

742
00:48:22,740 --> 00:48:25,680
of giving them the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. And it's like. And then it's

743
00:48:26,180 --> 00:48:29,440
happening again. Doesn't make It. Right, though, you know?

744
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:33,080
Nope. It doesn't. No. That's. That's a rough one.

745
00:48:33,580 --> 00:48:37,570
Because that. And this. It's the friendship part

746
00:48:38,070 --> 00:48:41,770
that really, to me, muddles up everything because it's so easy

747
00:48:42,270 --> 00:48:45,490
to tell strangers to fuck off. But if it's somebody that

748
00:48:45,990 --> 00:48:49,849
you know, if it's somebody that you love, it's somebody that you spend often a

749
00:48:50,349 --> 00:48:53,730
lot of time with, it's hard. It is hard.

750
00:48:53,810 --> 00:48:57,730
And you would think it's easier to be honest with your friends. It's easier

751
00:48:58,230 --> 00:49:01,450
to be that open and honest and educational with them,

752
00:49:01,950 --> 00:49:05,140
but it is really hard because you're pointing out

753
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:09,260
a major flaw. Yes. And people do

754
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,900
not like to be called out. No. And it could go really

755
00:49:12,980 --> 00:49:16,340
south very quickly. Very quickly. Yes.

756
00:49:16,820 --> 00:49:20,020
And you just gotta be prepared for that. The community can.

757
00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:23,860
Can already be rather unforgiving. Yes.

758
00:49:24,020 --> 00:49:27,540
When you've been labeled something and depending

759
00:49:27,620 --> 00:49:31,510
on your friend and how into

760
00:49:31,590 --> 00:49:35,230
the circles they are, if they turn their back

761
00:49:35,730 --> 00:49:38,630
on you, who knows, you could be ousted. Yeah. You know.

762
00:49:38,710 --> 00:49:42,110
Yeah. It's been known to happen. It has been known to happen so

763
00:49:42,610 --> 00:49:45,190
many times in so many circles. Yeah.

764
00:49:45,510 --> 00:49:49,030
Yeah. It's. It's really. It's. It's hard.

765
00:49:49,190 --> 00:49:52,710
It's hard to be a part of a community that has a lot of different

766
00:49:52,790 --> 00:49:57,350
personalities and, you know, has party mentality.

767
00:49:58,290 --> 00:50:02,090
This lifestyle is party mentality. Oh, yeah. I mean, we're adults on

768
00:50:02,590 --> 00:50:06,370
spring break every weekend. That's right. There's not. Events at libraries. And I gotta say,

769
00:50:06,870 --> 00:50:10,610
I know that. That we mentioned that, you know, alcohol and whatever and all these

770
00:50:10,770 --> 00:50:13,809
places are. All the parties and whatever are taking place at.

771
00:50:14,309 --> 00:50:17,970
At ours and. And whatnot. But we're all adults.

772
00:50:18,050 --> 00:50:20,930
Yeah. We all should know our limits. Yeah.

773
00:50:21,430 --> 00:50:24,220
You know, you. You.

774
00:50:24,720 --> 00:50:27,860
There's a good space for you to stop. You want to feel good. Feel good.

775
00:50:28,340 --> 00:50:30,900
But know that once you cross your.

776
00:50:31,380 --> 00:50:34,020
Your amount of intake,

777
00:50:34,100 --> 00:50:37,460
you're gonna go a different way. Yeah.

778
00:50:37,860 --> 00:50:40,500
Yeah. However you want to put that it's gonna be, you're gonna go a different

779
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:44,540
way. Like something's gonna happen. It is what it is. Yeah. You know, and.

780
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,100
And I just. I'm not saying don't drink,

781
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:52,190
and I'm not saying don't have a good time. But know your limits because

782
00:50:52,690 --> 00:50:55,070
your boundaries are very important. Yeah.

783
00:50:55,550 --> 00:50:58,990
You are very important. Like under, like,

784
00:50:59,490 --> 00:51:02,990
know that. Know that you're a very important person and you shouldn't

785
00:51:03,490 --> 00:51:06,750
do things like that. Like, be aware. Be aware.

786
00:51:06,830 --> 00:51:10,630
Look out. Look out for yourself as a person. Yes. Love yourself

787
00:51:11,130 --> 00:51:14,630
enough to look out for yourself. Yes. That's what. That's good, right?

788
00:51:15,130 --> 00:51:18,830
Put that on a bumper sticker. That would be nice. Well,

789
00:51:19,330 --> 00:51:22,230
by your 40th yawn, I'd say it's a good time to. Go ahead. It's been

790
00:51:22,730 --> 00:51:25,910
a very hectic. It has been a rough day. You guys have

791
00:51:26,410 --> 00:51:30,590
to bear with us. We. We lost our dog today, unfortunately. Our. Our doggy

792
00:51:31,090 --> 00:51:34,310
of nine years had stomach cancer, and so we

793
00:51:34,390 --> 00:51:38,190
had to, unfortunately put him down today. So that was a rough thing

794
00:51:38,690 --> 00:51:42,630
for us. Yeah. And, you know, explaining that to the kids and that

795
00:51:43,130 --> 00:51:46,220
sort of thing, I know that some of you can relate to that. So it's

796
00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:50,180
been a very exhausting day and probably going

797
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,980
to be an even more exhausting weekend. So we appreciate you

798
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:58,020
guys joining us, as always. Yes. And we hope that

799
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:02,540
you guys have a wonderful weekend. Yes. Yes. We hope that we have a wonderful

800
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:07,380
weekend. And as always, we hope that you continue listening

801
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:10,970
to our. Our content and spread the

802
00:52:11,470 --> 00:52:14,410
word to your different community members. Get us out there,

803
00:52:14,910 --> 00:52:18,250
help us grow. Because with our growth, a lot of things come

804
00:52:18,750 --> 00:52:22,490
with it. So thank you so much for listening. Be sure

805
00:52:22,990 --> 00:52:26,210
to reach out to us on our social medias, especially our Facebook that has our

806
00:52:26,710 --> 00:52:29,810
number. I don't know what it is, but you're welcome to go scope it out.

807
00:52:30,210 --> 00:52:33,890
And you can leave us voicemails. You can make text messages

808
00:52:34,130 --> 00:52:37,450
and say, oh, we love you guys, or whatever it is that we hate you

809
00:52:37,950 --> 00:52:41,390
guys, and go suck a dick, whatever. Yes. But once

810
00:52:41,890 --> 00:52:45,630
again, thank you so much for joining us, and I hope that we

811
00:52:46,130 --> 00:52:47,830
get to see you guys next week. Bye,

812
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:13,840
Sam.