Inside or Outside: Navigating Connections in the Lifestyle

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. We explore topics

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surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships, and related subjects in

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an open and candid manner. Please be advised that we are not licensed marriage

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or sex therapists and the content shared here is for entertainment and

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informational purposes only. If you are under 18 years

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of age or prefer not to engage with discussions about sex,

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relationships or mature language, we strongly recommend that you refrain

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from listening further. However, if you are of legal age and comfortable with

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this content, we invite you to settle in and enjoy the show. Welcome to another

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episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And today

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we are talking about playing inside or

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outside the lifestyle. Now what do I mean by that?

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What I mean by that is the connections that

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we make oftentimes are actually in

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the lifestyle. Right, right. A lot of the people that we utilize

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for play and a lot of the connections that we make,

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they're usually already in the lifestyle.

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Correct. But as we've been discussing,

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you and I, we've looked outside

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of the lifestyle before. At least I have. I don't

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think I have. No, I, I. So I've made, I've made some connections

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with people outside of the lifestyle before.

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You know, it's one of those things where, you know, they, they've heard of it,

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they're interested, they're kind of enticed. You know, we've had those conversations

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with vanilla people who have never been

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in it most definitely, and they're like, that's interesting.

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You know, you can always tell when they have that, that, that little bit

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of lean forward movement and they're like, you're a.

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What? You do what? I've heard that before.

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And then it's like, oh, well, tell me all about it. I have so many

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questions. This and that. Normally when that's their reaction,

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it's been my, my experience that they

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are open to it. Really? Yeah. That's what you jump

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to normally? Yeah, I do not really. No. Why is that?

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I, I just jumped to. Well,

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I, my. When they've had that reaction,

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it's usually just out of curiosity, not like enticement

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of wanting to join the community, just more so of.

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Tell me your stories. Like, what is that about? Like, I had a friend who

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was not. She was vanilla and she just loved.

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To hear the story. The stories. Like, tell me what

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you did and tell me who you went out with and what was it like.

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And I have a different

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thought of stepping outside of ls. Oh yeah, you want to

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jump to that now? I mean, we can.

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It's really okay. So I think if you,

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I think it's safer in the community.

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You think it's safer in the community. The fact that everybody pretty

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much knows the rules of

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how. That's not true. But I mean, think about it. It's not

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like they know that. It's not like cheating. Although it

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does happen, right. When you're in the community, I think you have a better

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chance of. Now I'm not saying that there's

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no open minded people outside of the community, right? But I'm saying like

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in the community you don't really have to explain a lot.

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Like you have to explain your boundaries. I don't know, dude, I disagree.

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Yeah, well, because I mean, I get. What you're saying because like

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a vanilla person, right? A vanilla person can say they're

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just on Facebook and they're like, they just saw you, you're a friend of

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a friend. Sure. Okay. They friended you.

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Okay. Do you. And they start

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like messaging you, right? Because I don't know,

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you've. You saw you posted something or

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whatever and they don't know that you're in the lifestyle and

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then they start like flirting and maybe they think

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you're cheating. Like I always think that they think. Why would they start

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flirting with me and then they think I'm cheating? Well, not like that.

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That doesn't make any sense at all. Like they like, like they approach you.

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Right, but why would they approach me if they think I'm married

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and, and they don't know I'm in the lifestyle unless

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they're trying to get me to cheat? Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah.

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And if they, if they're trying to get me to cheat and I tell them,

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hey, guess what? I'm in the lifestyle so I don't have to cheat,

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then I've just made a new connection. But do you think that they think

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that that's okay? That they think what's okay? That like you

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don't think that they think, oh, well, it's just,

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it's just kind of like cheating. Like do you think that

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they know. Understand. I don't understand the leap where you're going

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with that. So. Okay, so paint the picture. Okay, let's start over.

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Have to please, please speak clearly because I'm not understanding.

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Okay, so you, so there's this

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for me, okay, there's this guy and he approaches me on, on I

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posted something on Facebook like, I don't know,

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I'm looking to go out or something. Okay. And he's seeing that I'm a friend

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of a friend. Okay. Then he. He friends me or he messages

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me and he's like, hey, I think you're really pretty. Blah, blah, blah.

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Okay, thank you. And then he continues to flirt.

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And then I tell him, okay, well, I'm in the lifestyle

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and I have to explain it to him and everything. And it's.

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I've actually had this happen. And they're like, oh, so it's kind of like cheating.

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But like, your husband knows. This was like, back in the day,

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I was like, well, no, it's not cheating. We have an open relationship.

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And I feel like the explanation is so

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drawn out. Well, that's just the person that

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you're talking to. Does that mean. Okay, yeah, that's. I mean, you're probably wrong.

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First of all, anybody who's gonna say, so, it's like cheating.

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Yeah, but your husband knows. No, it's not like cheating. It's kind

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of okay, like, you know what I mean? Like, that's just an ignorant person.

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Do you feel like you have to. Do you feel like you don't have to

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explain too much? You know, I've. I feel like

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I explain. I over explain whether I'm talking to

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somebody who's in the lifestyle or not. Yeah. Yeah. So because you

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and I, we've. We've come. The, the length that we've come in

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this journey, we've gotten used to over explaining

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stuff to each other. Right, right. We over communicate with each

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other, and we apply that in almost every aspect of our life.

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We do it at work, you know, we do it with our bosses. We do

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it with our kids. We over explain everything. And so

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whether I'm talking to somebody in the lifestyle or I'm talking to somebody who's

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not in the lifestyle, I can. I tend to over explain

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everything. So even if it's somebody who's already

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in the community and is an established swinger,

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I will still contact them and I will

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let them know what our dynamic is. I'll ask them what their dynamic

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is. I'll discuss our rules and boundaries.

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They'll. I'll ask them what their rules and boundaries are. And we

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still have to kind of hash stuff out because a lot of

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the stuff that's in this lifestyle is subject to

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interpretation. Some people think something

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is okay and others don't. You know what I

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mean? There's a lot of different personalities. There's a lot of different ways to

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think of things. And, you know, not everybody is

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on the same page. So a lot of times you have to over communicate with

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the person Interested in. To make sure that they're on the same page as you.

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Even. You mean like, even in the ls? Like in the ls,

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that's. I'm talking just in the ls. And I saw you see, and I find

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it that you don't have to do so much of that. Why is that

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so you. I mean, I just feel like I just. You don't have to really.

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You don't over communicate with the people we talk to in the lifestyle.

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I really don't. I don't think you really have

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to. I'm pretty much the one who does it for us when,

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as a couple. I mean, realistically, as when we talk to another

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couple in a message or whatnot. Yeah. It's usually

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me over communicating, and you're normally kind of absent from

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the message. You pop in every now and. And you talk in

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person. Yeah. Now if it's a couple that we just met in person,

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we both do the talking. We do, but we both also

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over communicate. Yeah. We're. We're both very open,

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you know, we're both very open about what we think and what we believe and

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what we. Et cetera, et cetera. And I'm not saying that you can't.

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Of course. There's connections everywhere. Right. There could be a person

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who's bisexual or whatever, and you

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find an interest in that. Right? Or I do, because you're not bisexual. But yeah,

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you know, I. Okay, that's. That's kind of easy,

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I guess, for me. I don't want to. I don't want

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a guy that's not in the lifestyle. Why?

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I don't know. I mean, honestly, because I feel like

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if it's a guy that's single and not in

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the lifestyle, that I have more chances of

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him being really shady.

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Like maybe he's not single. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's a lot

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of that shadiness. I mean, just. Just to. To play

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devil's advocate here, because I agree with you, I do.

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But just to play the devil's advocate, we have run into this before from people

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in the lifestyle. There are people who pretend to

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be couples or there's people who pretend to be married.

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Yeah. And it's like, oh, no, my wife's just taking a break right now.

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Or there's even those people who say, oh, yeah, we're gonna

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go ahead and set up a playtime. And you go as far as setting up

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something, and then they go, oh, yeah, my wife's sick, but I can still play

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that sort of Thing we have, there are shady people everywhere

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you go and you. And you're right. Yeah, but more

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so. More so in the, in the, in. The vanilla world,

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like they don't understand. So for you and I, we can,

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we can play, we can go and have whatever we want with

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whomever we want. Right. Within the lifestyle.

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When it's outside, it's just. You just

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never know. It's funny that you say that because we've, we've always

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had this kind of discussion, you know, we've always talked about the

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lifestyle and whatnot. And you know,

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you and I, we kind of. We flirt with our different people.

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Right. And the people you flirt with are always in the lifestyle.

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And I flirt with whoever I'm interested in.

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Right. You know, because I know that I'm

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gonna be very upfront and honest with people who are not in the lifestyle.

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And if it's something that they're not interested in, that's fine

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because I'm just gonna be their friend anyways. Right. Which is the same thing that

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I do in the lifestyle. You know, I introduce myself,

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I tell them what our dynamics are and stuff like that. I express interest

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and if they're not interested, I'm still going to be their friend. You know what

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I mean? So it's kind of the same vibe whether

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I'm talking to a girl in the vanilla world or I'm talking to

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a girl in the lifestyle. You think the flirting is the same?

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I think the flirting is the same. Yeah. Yeah,

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I think the flirting is the same. But I

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do understand your point and I will

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say that there is a lot of.

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I mean, there's cheating in the lifestyle, obviously. We've seen it,

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we did a whole show on it. But there's more cheating in.

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In the vanilla world, obviously. Yeah.

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We in the lifestyle belong to ethical non

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monogamy. Right. And a big emphasis

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on ethical. Now, do you think

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the, do you think the, the women.

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Okay, so for you, right, are the women more open

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in the lifestyle? Like more open in the

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lifestyle? Like more open in communication in the lifestyle? Like just

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like the people, the women in the lifestyle, are they more open to a

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better conversation? Like more.

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More detailed conversation? You know, my experiences

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have been the same in the lifestyle and vanilla.

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Really? Yeah. Yeah. But it's, it's how

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I go about it. So. So. Well, you flirt really heavy in the

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lifestyle. Do I? Yeah, with women. Do you? Well,

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I find it easy. That's what I'm saying. So I do find it easy

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to. Like, is you're flirting the Same. Let me backtrack there.

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I don't find it easy with anybody to flirt with anybody.

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It's. It's a difficulty, and that's. That's a part of my anxiety, and that's a

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part of my. My, you know, my confidence issues and whatnot. But I. 20,

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25. Yes. Is the year of confident,

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Adam. I'm pretty happy about that. And so with that, I'm really

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trying to put in flirting into practice a bit better.

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And so I'm trying to be more direct. I'm trying to be more straightforward.

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If there's somebody that I'm interested in, I try to just throw that out

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there and say, hey, you know what? I'm interested in you. I'm a leave it

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at that. I'm. Throw that out there, and I'm going to leave it. You know,

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you have to. You don't have to say anything. Right. You know what I mean?

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Okay. Now, do you do that to vanilla people? I could.

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I could easily. I could easily.

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But there's. There's a 50.

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50 shot that the vanilla person will go.

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Yeah, I don't. I don't care for that.

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Yeah. I don't see. I don't feel like just opening that door.

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Why? I'd rather just stay within my community. Yeah.

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Yeah. So I know what's. What's interesting is everybody in

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the community had to get their start one way or another. Yeah. For sure.

227
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Everybody in the community was vanilla at one point or another.

228
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Yeah. So somebody had to reach out to them at some point and

229
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express this way of life and introduce this

230
00:13:58,210 --> 00:14:01,590
new idea to somebody. If we purely stayed into.

231
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Into our. Our community, it would never grow.

232
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:09,642
Well, we didn't get in here from. I mean,

233
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I got it from you. You got in from me. Yeah. And I got in

234
00:14:13,042 --> 00:14:15,674
and, you know. You could have kept it a secret. You could have. You could

235
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have not shared that. I could have definitely kept it. You could have chosen to

236
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keep that to. To yourself, and we could have been monogamous to this

237
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day. But you didn't. You. You mentioned it right away.

238
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Yeah. And I'm glad you did, because we're now

239
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in this community, and we've been in. In it for 13 years, and I.

240
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I love it. I have a good time with it. But that's my thing is

241
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if you. If you're not going to take a chance on people

242
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:44,146
in the vanilla world, you know, the community is never going to grow, and there's

243
00:14:44,178 --> 00:14:47,778
people out there who are somewhat familiar with it, and they're enticed

244
00:14:47,794 --> 00:14:51,542
by the idea, but maybe they've never met anybody who's

245
00:14:51,686 --> 00:14:55,638
been in it that interests them or they never have

246
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:58,838
had anybody to explain to them how it works. Right.

247
00:14:58,894 --> 00:15:02,742
You know, that sort of thing. Yeah, a lot of people in the

248
00:15:02,766 --> 00:15:06,502
vanilla world have preconceived notions about who we are, what we

249
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do, how this community works. I was one

250
00:15:10,366 --> 00:15:14,582
of them. You know, we, we have this preconceived

251
00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:18,304
notion that, that, you know, we're a bunch of leisure suit Larry's and,

252
00:15:18,392 --> 00:15:21,888
and we attend key parties and we, you know,

253
00:15:21,944 --> 00:15:25,552
we schmooze and flirt and we're scummy and we're

254
00:15:25,696 --> 00:15:28,928
drunk and we're constantly trying to sleep with every

255
00:15:28,984 --> 00:15:32,112
person that, that comes around. And it's not like that.

256
00:15:32,216 --> 00:15:35,584
You know it's not like that. Yeah, I know it's not like that. Yeah,

257
00:15:35,632 --> 00:15:39,280
but people outside of that world don't know that. Okay? And so

258
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:43,062
maybe it's something that they were interested in, but then they got this idea

259
00:15:43,126 --> 00:15:46,550
of what swingers are like and they're like, yeah, no, I could,

260
00:15:46,590 --> 00:15:49,718
I could never be that. Yeah, I can't go to a key party and just

261
00:15:49,854 --> 00:15:53,766
screw whoever. Well, we don't do that transaction.

262
00:15:53,958 --> 00:15:56,982
We don't go to key parties. You know? We don't, we don't, we don't.

263
00:15:57,046 --> 00:15:59,446
Oh my God. Now we have to have a key party, you know? Yeah,

264
00:15:59,478 --> 00:16:03,366
right. I don't even think that's a thing anymore. But you know, it's like

265
00:16:03,518 --> 00:16:06,890
there, there's a lot of these, these weird ideas

266
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,860
and, and incorrect ideas at that

267
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:14,624
that people assume. Right. About our community, about us and that sort of

268
00:16:14,632 --> 00:16:18,400
thing. And if anything, even if they say, you know,

269
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,856
I'm not interested in that. Cool. But I'm gonna

270
00:16:21,888 --> 00:16:25,312
educate you. I'm gonna educate you on, on who we

271
00:16:25,336 --> 00:16:28,960
are, what this community is. Right. Right. And I'm going to put to

272
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,480
rest any of those ridiculous ideas that you have

273
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:36,060
about what we are, what we do. Yeah. You know what I mean?

274
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,980
Yeah. Yeah. Because like I said, we all have had

275
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:43,724
our run ins with those silly ideas at least once

276
00:16:43,892 --> 00:16:47,180
for sure. If not more. And I think it's harder for women.

277
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,396
When I think everything's harder for women. Like men.

278
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:53,852
Just think. I mean, geez, I've known a few

279
00:16:53,876 --> 00:16:57,484
men that just think, oh, okay, well, she, oh, she's easy because she's a

280
00:16:57,492 --> 00:17:01,016
swinger. It's like, well, see, I can, I can

281
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:05,384
one up you there. Because it is really,

282
00:17:05,552 --> 00:17:09,176
it can be difficult hitting on a woman who knows

283
00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:12,760
you're married. Right. Okay. Yeah.

284
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,440
So I have more to that, but go ahead. So you. You are

285
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,280
from our hometown. Our hometown is notoriously known for

286
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:24,024
cheating. Yes. Notoriously known. You know,

287
00:17:24,192 --> 00:17:26,947
when we were Polly and Corpus Christi, I.

288
00:17:27,103 --> 00:17:31,195
I had, you know, so many women tell me,

289
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:34,043
well, why are you dating out in the open? I don't want it to be

290
00:17:34,051 --> 00:17:37,547
in the open. Let's just cheat. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, no.

291
00:17:37,603 --> 00:17:40,731
Right? Yeah, I want it to be open. You know, I don't want to do

292
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:44,203
that. That's just weird. And my

293
00:17:44,211 --> 00:17:47,883
wife's kink. That's right. And they're like, no, I would rather

294
00:17:47,931 --> 00:17:50,491
keep it on the. On the down low. And I'm like, no, I can't do

295
00:17:50,515 --> 00:17:54,283
that. So where we come from, there's an awful

296
00:17:54,331 --> 00:17:57,395
lot. Or there was an awful lot of people who were.

297
00:17:57,587 --> 00:18:00,788
Would be okay with cheating. Yes. We're in this

298
00:18:00,844 --> 00:18:04,292
because we want to be ethical. We want to be ethical not only

299
00:18:04,316 --> 00:18:08,100
to each other, but to people that we're interested in, people that we play with.

300
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:11,412
It's all about the ethics. It's all about doing things on the up and up

301
00:18:11,436 --> 00:18:14,740
and not on the sly. Yeah. In the vanilla world. It's not

302
00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:18,708
like that. Right. You know? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. No, I. I agree

303
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:22,564
with you. Yeah. In the fact that there's prominently more cheating

304
00:18:22,612 --> 00:18:26,242
in the vanilla world than there is in the lifestyle. Well, why is

305
00:18:26,266 --> 00:18:29,826
that? Well, because in the lifestyle, we allow each other

306
00:18:29,898 --> 00:18:33,154
to have sex with others. Right. We allow these.

307
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:37,106
These. These connections with other people.

308
00:18:37,178 --> 00:18:40,882
Yeah. As long as it's out in the open and we're

309
00:18:40,946 --> 00:18:43,190
forthcoming with it, it's okay.

310
00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:48,386
Now, I know that there's a lot of people out there that probably cheat,

311
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:51,602
and I'm not making excuses, but there's a lot of people out there in the

312
00:18:51,626 --> 00:18:55,134
vanilla world who probably cheat and have no idea

313
00:18:55,182 --> 00:18:58,574
why they're doing it. They have no idea why they're cheating. Yeah. And it's

314
00:18:58,622 --> 00:19:01,582
because by heart, they belong in the lifestyle.

315
00:19:01,646 --> 00:19:04,670
Yeah. You know what I mean? They. They're not the kind of person who can

316
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:08,110
adhere to one person. You know what I mean? They're not monogamous by

317
00:19:08,150 --> 00:19:12,126
heart. And so if they're not monogamous by heart, then they need to stop fighting

318
00:19:12,158 --> 00:19:15,374
it, stop trying to be monogamous, join the lifestyle,

319
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:19,066
and you can have a lot easier time. And it's a lot easier to have

320
00:19:19,238 --> 00:19:23,410
an ethical relationship in the lifestyle,

321
00:19:23,570 --> 00:19:26,670
I think. Yes. I think.

322
00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:29,874
Yeah. Because it's all out in the open. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

323
00:19:29,922 --> 00:19:33,042
There's no. Like, there's discussions about everything. Yeah.

324
00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:36,322
But I always found it interesting that, you know, anytime I would, you know,

325
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:39,970
we've had discussions about, you know, me talking to

326
00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:42,690
different girls in the vanilla world and that sort of thing throughout the years.

327
00:19:42,730 --> 00:19:46,156
And. And you've always had that kind of pre.

328
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:50,268
Preconceived notion that, well, I don't. So I don't trust anybody.

329
00:19:50,364 --> 00:19:54,188
No, I know that. You know, I mean, and. But I think you trust women

330
00:19:54,244 --> 00:19:57,756
in the vanilla world less than you trust women in the lifestyle.

331
00:19:57,868 --> 00:20:01,372
Fair to say. Yes. For sure. And it. Does it go

332
00:20:01,396 --> 00:20:05,196
back to that whole rule thing. Like, everybody knows the rules. Everybody knows

333
00:20:05,228 --> 00:20:09,052
the rules. And women are shady just as

334
00:20:09,076 --> 00:20:12,824
much as men. Like, you know, I mean, you're pretty open.

335
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:17,140
I. I trust your. Your thoughts and your judgment and,

336
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,952
you know, you know what, you know, what I expect and what

337
00:20:20,976 --> 00:20:23,448
I want and, you know what rules and whatever.

338
00:20:23,544 --> 00:20:27,620
Yeah. And I think vanilla women

339
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,912
just don't. Don't get it. They don't get

340
00:20:31,936 --> 00:20:35,592
it. Like it's. It's a

341
00:20:35,616 --> 00:20:39,498
needy thing. More so in Vanilla world

342
00:20:39,554 --> 00:20:42,890
than it is for. For here, for.

343
00:20:42,930 --> 00:20:46,122
For. So I understand what you're saying because, like. Because they're used to

344
00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:49,290
a monogamous relationship. Exactly. They want all of

345
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:52,810
your attention to themselves, and it's hard to share that.

346
00:20:52,930 --> 00:20:56,442
Yeah. Even if they know that I'm married. Yeah. And it's like I dealt with

347
00:20:56,466 --> 00:20:59,930
that when we were poly. Exactly. And that's. That. I guess that's the thing.

348
00:20:59,970 --> 00:21:02,810
Like, they just don't know now. I mean,

349
00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:06,650
but you can educate them and, and, and you can

350
00:21:06,690 --> 00:21:10,346
put your own boundary. Right. I mean, that's. That's pretty

351
00:21:10,378 --> 00:21:14,990
much what you have to do. It's just. It's a lot of explanation

352
00:21:15,330 --> 00:21:19,018
for no reason. Oh, boo boo. But there's. There's two sides

353
00:21:19,034 --> 00:21:22,042
to that coin because I have experienced a lot

354
00:21:22,066 --> 00:21:25,130
of needy women in the lifestyle. Yeah. You know that.

355
00:21:25,170 --> 00:21:28,898
Yeah. You've seen it. I mean. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, it really.

356
00:21:29,074 --> 00:21:32,690
I think a person's nature is a person,

357
00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:35,730
but they know when to back off. They know when to back off. When you

358
00:21:35,770 --> 00:21:38,834
step up and you go, you need to back off. Oh, that's true. Yeah.

359
00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:42,498
People are afraid of you. Yeah. So, yeah. If you're open and you go,

360
00:21:42,554 --> 00:21:45,730
yeah, this is. That's enough of this. Yeah. Then they back off.

361
00:21:45,770 --> 00:21:49,122
Yeah. I think it would be the same thing for

362
00:21:49,146 --> 00:21:51,938
sure if I'm talking to somebody in the vanilla world.

363
00:21:51,994 --> 00:21:55,548
Yeah. I'm going to be very forthcoming about everything.

364
00:21:55,684 --> 00:21:58,956
Even more so Than somebody in the lifestyle. I over.

365
00:21:59,108 --> 00:22:02,812
Communicate with somebody in the lifestyle just because it's my way.

366
00:22:02,916 --> 00:22:06,012
Right. I over. Over communicate with somebody who's not

367
00:22:06,036 --> 00:22:09,612
in the lifestyle because I want to make sure that there's no. There's no

368
00:22:09,636 --> 00:22:13,164
misreading this situation. Yeah. I love my wife.

369
00:22:13,292 --> 00:22:15,628
I'm always going to be with my wife, and I'm never going to leave her.

370
00:22:15,684 --> 00:22:18,396
Yeah. And there's nothing that anybody can do about that.

371
00:22:18,548 --> 00:22:22,518
So with that, you can be my friend and

372
00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:25,558
we can flirt. Right. We can, you know,

373
00:22:25,614 --> 00:22:29,238
if. If you want to play or if you want to take

374
00:22:29,294 --> 00:22:33,142
part in something like that, you know, it's. It's. My wife's going to

375
00:22:33,166 --> 00:22:36,614
know about it and everything like that. Like, nothing's going to be down and dirty.

376
00:22:36,662 --> 00:22:39,670
Nothing's going to be out in the open. Yeah. My wife has access to my

377
00:22:39,710 --> 00:22:42,726
phone. You know, there's. There is no. There's no secret.

378
00:22:42,798 --> 00:22:46,198
There's no hiding. And I can't emphasize that enough to the person

379
00:22:46,254 --> 00:22:49,812
that I'm talking to. Yeah. So I normally say it as often as I can

380
00:22:49,996 --> 00:22:53,300
just so that there's no interpretation or misinterpretation

381
00:22:53,380 --> 00:22:56,868
of that. Because if you. If you

382
00:22:56,924 --> 00:23:00,420
let it. If you open the door even slightly. Yeah.

383
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:03,716
Which we have. Which we have. And it just gets all. Yeah.

384
00:23:03,748 --> 00:23:07,480
It gets very complicated and it gets uncomfortable,

385
00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:11,268
and I'm good with uncomfortable conversations, but if

386
00:23:11,324 --> 00:23:14,918
I can avoid it, I will avoid it. Yes. So it's

387
00:23:14,934 --> 00:23:19,094
almost like preventative maintenance. You're. You're getting ahead of it before it even reaches

388
00:23:19,142 --> 00:23:22,646
that point. Yeah. And so I found whenever

389
00:23:22,678 --> 00:23:26,534
I, I. Whenever I have talked to people in

390
00:23:26,542 --> 00:23:29,910
the vanilla world and I've expressed interest or I flirted or

391
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:34,022
whatever, I've always been very forthcoming about our

392
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:37,510
lifestyle and what we do and what our rules are and what's

393
00:23:37,590 --> 00:23:41,590
the expectations and that sort of thing, and the reactions I

394
00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:45,670
get. There's three different reactions. The first reaction

395
00:23:45,750 --> 00:23:48,950
is the most common one, and that's where

396
00:23:48,990 --> 00:23:51,890
a woman will look at me and go, you know,

397
00:23:52,270 --> 00:23:55,798
that's interesting, but I

398
00:23:55,854 --> 00:23:59,510
could never do that. Yeah. I can't share. I have

399
00:23:59,550 --> 00:24:03,062
jealousy issues. And, you know, I'm.

400
00:24:03,126 --> 00:24:06,434
I'm flattered, but I just. I just can't. I won't be able

401
00:24:06,442 --> 00:24:10,354
to do that. Right. In which case my answer would be, I completely

402
00:24:10,402 --> 00:24:13,474
understand. I appreciate you letting me express this.

403
00:24:13,562 --> 00:24:17,378
Yeah. And if it's cool with you, we can just be friends and

404
00:24:17,434 --> 00:24:20,098
I'll keep it on the uneven keel, you know, whatever.

405
00:24:20,194 --> 00:24:24,018
Yeah. Cool. Another reaction

406
00:24:24,194 --> 00:24:28,070
that I would get would Be somebody who goes,

407
00:24:28,410 --> 00:24:31,638
really? That's interesting. I would like to know more.

408
00:24:31,754 --> 00:24:35,390
Yeah. And, you know, you explain to them the life

409
00:24:35,430 --> 00:24:38,990
and this and that and, and it's something that they find interesting,

410
00:24:39,150 --> 00:24:42,302
but once again, they sit back and go, man, you know, as much as

411
00:24:42,326 --> 00:24:46,190
I'd really like to, and I'm kind of interested, I couldn't do

412
00:24:46,230 --> 00:24:49,070
that. I just don't think I could do that. Yeah. And it's like,

413
00:24:49,190 --> 00:24:52,702
totally cool. Yeah. If you ever change your mind, you know, I'm here.

414
00:24:52,806 --> 00:24:56,542
Yeah. And if you ever want to explore that, I'm here. Yeah.

415
00:24:56,606 --> 00:25:00,032
But otherwise, we can be friends. You know what I mean? And then,

416
00:25:00,056 --> 00:25:03,456
of course, the third one is somebody who says, you know, I knew

417
00:25:03,488 --> 00:25:07,040
a little bit about it. The idea has always enticed me.

418
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,368
I've had threesomes before, or I fooled around with this woman

419
00:25:10,424 --> 00:25:14,000
and blah, blah, blah, you know, like they normally get into. I've had these past

420
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,552
experiences. Right. And I really don't know

421
00:25:17,576 --> 00:25:20,896
much about the lifestyle, but I'd like to know more. And maybe, who knows,

422
00:25:20,928 --> 00:25:24,144
maybe we can see where this goes. Fucking, hey, let's just. That's cool. Let's do

423
00:25:24,152 --> 00:25:28,136
that. Let's talk. Right. You know, so those are the three different responses

424
00:25:28,168 --> 00:25:31,160
that I've gotten throughout the years. And I, I don't know. I, I,

425
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:35,672
I find that it is just as difficult to

426
00:25:35,856 --> 00:25:39,640
express interest and to flirt and to talk to a

427
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,856
vanilla woman than it is

428
00:25:42,928 --> 00:25:46,680
for a lifestyle woman. Now, it doesn't go with everybody. There are some women

429
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,380
in the lifestyle who are so experienced,

430
00:25:50,730 --> 00:25:54,370
and it's just like, nothing for them, that you could literally go up

431
00:25:54,410 --> 00:25:57,618
to them on the first day that you met them and go,

432
00:25:57,754 --> 00:26:01,154
I think you are incredibly beautiful. Can I kiss

433
00:26:01,202 --> 00:26:04,290
you? Sure. You know what I mean? Like,

434
00:26:04,410 --> 00:26:08,082
they're used to that. Yeah. It's not a scenario they haven't come

435
00:26:08,106 --> 00:26:11,010
across before. And they're used to it. They know what their boundaries are. They go

436
00:26:11,050 --> 00:26:15,106
for it. You know what I mean? Whereas if somebody does that in a vanilla

437
00:26:15,138 --> 00:26:18,936
club to a vanilla woman, that woman's gonna look and go, I don't

438
00:26:18,968 --> 00:26:22,232
know, you. Yeah, you need to take a walk, bruh.

439
00:26:22,376 --> 00:26:26,008
You know, like, it gets. Yeah, no, get weird. It can,

440
00:26:26,064 --> 00:26:29,080
it can get weird. And that's where, that's where the differences lie,

441
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:32,952
is there's a lot more openness in

442
00:26:32,976 --> 00:26:36,856
the lifestyle. It makes it a little bit easier. Right. But it also depends

443
00:26:36,888 --> 00:26:40,424
on who you're talking to. And that's on both sides of the aisle. Depends on

444
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:44,502
who you're talking to if you're talking to somebody who's cool in the vanilla world

445
00:26:44,696 --> 00:26:48,170
and maybe they've heard of the lifestyle, they know some

446
00:26:48,210 --> 00:26:52,030
deets on it. Right. They might be interested.

447
00:26:52,450 --> 00:26:56,218
But that's as far as women are concerned on my

448
00:26:56,274 --> 00:26:59,930
end. I don't know how it works with guys. I don't even bother.

449
00:27:00,010 --> 00:27:03,514
Yeah. I mean, I've had scenarios with

450
00:27:03,602 --> 00:27:06,650
non lifestyle people. Have you? Well,

451
00:27:06,690 --> 00:27:10,078
yeah. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

452
00:27:10,234 --> 00:27:13,370
The parking lot where I worked. Oh,

453
00:27:14,430 --> 00:27:17,766
non lifestyle. The parking lot that you work. Oh,

454
00:27:17,798 --> 00:27:21,526
yeah, that's right. That's right. But he kind of was

455
00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:24,630
without the label. Yeah. Because he was fooling around with a. Lot of girls,

456
00:27:24,710 --> 00:27:27,606
had threesomes with girls. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. Yeah.

457
00:27:27,638 --> 00:27:31,030
This dude on every weekend was partying with more

458
00:27:31,070 --> 00:27:34,390
than one girl and having sex with them. Yeah. At the same time.

459
00:27:34,430 --> 00:27:37,716
Well, my. That's lifestyle, bro. The other guy,

460
00:27:37,748 --> 00:27:40,068
the one we had a story of that. You. I didn't know you didn't like

461
00:27:40,124 --> 00:27:43,796
that. I ended up. Oh, yeah, yeah. He wasn't. He wasn't.

462
00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:46,964
But that was a situation where you turned to

463
00:27:46,972 --> 00:27:50,372
the vanilla world. He was somebody that you knew. Yeah.

464
00:27:50,516 --> 00:27:53,684
And you knew that he found you. And he knew that I

465
00:27:53,692 --> 00:27:56,900
was married. Yeah. And that all worked out just fine. Yeah, no,

466
00:27:56,940 --> 00:28:00,388
it did. Well, no. Remember I got a call from somebody else

467
00:28:00,404 --> 00:28:03,600
that he was dating. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So like.

468
00:28:03,740 --> 00:28:07,368
Like vanilla people will lie and cheat

469
00:28:07,464 --> 00:28:11,580
on the side. And if you're a swinger and that happens,

470
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:16,248
I mean, if you have a 50, 50 chance of your significant other

471
00:28:16,384 --> 00:28:19,288
understanding. Sure. It is what it is. Right?

472
00:28:19,424 --> 00:28:22,580
Sure. But in the vanilla world,

473
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,472
it's not my problem. Yeah. I don't care. Yeah. If I

474
00:28:26,496 --> 00:28:29,822
didn't know you were married or with somebody, that's not my problem. Right.

475
00:28:29,976 --> 00:28:33,362
But it can. It can end up being a problem. Sure. Do you know what

476
00:28:33,386 --> 00:28:36,626
I mean? Like, more so. Yeah, I get that. More so in the

477
00:28:36,698 --> 00:28:40,018
shady. Oh, yeah. I'm telling you, like, I know vanilla

478
00:28:40,034 --> 00:28:43,778
people listen to our show and I'm very sorry, but it's.

479
00:28:43,874 --> 00:28:46,786
It's a different world. It's not the same world.

480
00:28:46,938 --> 00:28:50,578
Well, you know, it really depends. Okay. There's some. There's some women

481
00:28:50,634 --> 00:28:54,114
that I have found who are very honest and forthcoming

482
00:28:54,162 --> 00:28:57,956
and open and honestly, I would never talk

483
00:28:58,028 --> 00:29:01,428
to a vanilla married woman or

484
00:29:01,484 --> 00:29:05,636
a woman who's in a relationship or anything like that. I would never express

485
00:29:05,708 --> 00:29:09,156
interest in somebody who's in the vanilla world who

486
00:29:09,228 --> 00:29:12,372
is betrothed to somebody else. Yeah.

487
00:29:12,436 --> 00:29:15,892
I would never Disrespect anyone. What if you don't know? Well,

488
00:29:15,916 --> 00:29:19,700
that's the thing about it. What if they don't tell you? How, how can I

489
00:29:19,740 --> 00:29:23,614
have a long. Because this is not a, A quick conversation.

490
00:29:23,662 --> 00:29:27,390
This is not a five minute, hey, how you doing? When I break this down

491
00:29:27,430 --> 00:29:30,686
for people, this is like an all day conversation. This is something

492
00:29:30,758 --> 00:29:34,062
that takes some time. It takes some breaking down. This is a long

493
00:29:34,166 --> 00:29:37,950
conversation. If you're putting forth the time in this conversation,

494
00:29:38,030 --> 00:29:41,982
we got to know if you have to break away for a

495
00:29:42,006 --> 00:29:45,598
boyfriend or a husband. I try to do my homework before

496
00:29:45,654 --> 00:29:49,198
I even. Yeah, do that. It's got to be somebody I know. I mean,

497
00:29:49,254 --> 00:29:52,070
for you and I, it's, It's easy. I mean,

498
00:29:52,110 --> 00:29:55,366
we can. Yeah, we'll stop conversations. Yeah.

499
00:29:55,398 --> 00:29:58,662
I'm not like. It's not. It's not. Yeah, it's not. It's not an issue.

500
00:29:58,846 --> 00:30:02,662
But I'm just saying, like, God and Ubis, you know,

501
00:30:02,686 --> 00:30:06,070
when they come in and they don't. They're trying to find people and whatnot.

502
00:30:06,150 --> 00:30:09,318
Like you. I don't know.

503
00:30:09,374 --> 00:30:12,854
I still find it. I find it safer. I get that.

504
00:30:12,942 --> 00:30:16,966
I find it safe for me. Like, and then I'm so transactional sometimes

505
00:30:16,998 --> 00:30:20,494
that it's just easier because, like, we're all a little community.

506
00:30:20,582 --> 00:30:23,998
It's like. And you know, realistically, our community is very large.

507
00:30:24,134 --> 00:30:28,654
It is. What I mean, I guess by like my. Our locations.

508
00:30:28,782 --> 00:30:32,350
Yeah, our little. Little. Yeah, our little. Our location

509
00:30:32,430 --> 00:30:35,326
here. Yeah, it's. It is. It's big, but it's small.

510
00:30:35,398 --> 00:30:38,494
Yeah. And the community clusters. It's all clusters.

511
00:30:38,542 --> 00:30:42,526
And we travel to different clusters, but still they're not more than God,

512
00:30:42,558 --> 00:30:46,264
more than 50 people. You know, it's like just clusters of people that,

513
00:30:46,432 --> 00:30:49,800
I don't know, I feel safe with. I don't have to explain.

514
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:53,208
I mean, we've been on different sites and.

515
00:30:53,344 --> 00:30:57,208
Right. Married men have approached us many,

516
00:30:57,264 --> 00:30:59,860
many, many times. Yes. And it's like,

517
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,792
do I care? I mean, you know, that's the

518
00:31:04,816 --> 00:31:08,344
thing is, is you. And you've expressed this. It's like,

519
00:31:08,432 --> 00:31:12,732
you'll. You'll tell a guy, look, I prefer

520
00:31:12,796 --> 00:31:16,444
you not cheat. Yeah. But honestly, if you're cheating,

521
00:31:16,572 --> 00:31:19,868
I don't need to know about it. That's your problem.

522
00:31:19,924 --> 00:31:23,068
Don't tell me that is not my problem. My husband knows.

523
00:31:23,164 --> 00:31:27,520
You know what I mean? Now, if I knew in the LS

524
00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:31,788
that somebody was hitting on me and they were doing it on the side without

525
00:31:31,844 --> 00:31:35,680
their wife or significant other knowing, I would totally

526
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,224
be like, nah, well, because it's. It's not,

527
00:31:39,312 --> 00:31:43,336
is it. Because it's our community. It's our community, and I don't want to endanger

528
00:31:43,368 --> 00:31:46,520
that. Like, that's our. It's our community, and I want to keep it safe outside

529
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,928
of my. Our little bubble. Yeah. I'd be like, I don't care. Don't tell me.

530
00:31:50,064 --> 00:31:53,608
Like, and if you're. If your wife finds out, I'm gonna

531
00:31:53,624 --> 00:31:57,160
deny it to the T. Right. You know, like. Yeah. I mean,

532
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,920
realistically, unless she's a super sleuth, but you don't want to sleep with someone

533
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,672
who's cheating. No. But if you find out that they were cheating afterwards,

534
00:32:04,736 --> 00:32:07,900
well, I mean, it's not like you did it on purpose. Yes. I mean,

535
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,776
we're not home wreckers. And that's. That's another preconceived.

536
00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:15,360
Oh, my gosh. That the vanilla world figures about both men and

537
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,704
women, but especially women in the lifestyle, that they're home wreckers,

538
00:32:18,832 --> 00:32:21,792
that they want to go in there and they want to wreck a good marriage.

539
00:32:21,856 --> 00:32:25,472
It's like, no. So I used to think that. Yeah, I used

540
00:32:25,496 --> 00:32:28,544
to think that before I kind of figured out what a singer was, I was

541
00:32:28,552 --> 00:32:32,486
like, oh, you know. Well, when I first started swinging,

542
00:32:32,678 --> 00:32:36,518
I came across a lot of people that said they were married.

543
00:32:36,694 --> 00:32:40,966
So I only played. I played with couples, but it was mainly men.

544
00:32:41,118 --> 00:32:44,646
I only played with men. Really? Yeah. So women.

545
00:32:44,798 --> 00:32:48,150
If you were a couple, then I would play with the woman, but I only

546
00:32:48,190 --> 00:32:51,382
men. And so it never failed.

547
00:32:51,446 --> 00:32:54,450
There was always a married person.

548
00:32:54,950 --> 00:32:59,006
You know, I just remember when we first started the lifestyle and you getting

549
00:32:59,078 --> 00:33:02,810
numerous messages from people in our community

550
00:33:03,510 --> 00:33:07,694
asking you to, you know, step out

551
00:33:07,862 --> 00:33:11,454
on the slide. It's like, jeez, hey, do you think. You can join my.

552
00:33:11,542 --> 00:33:14,446
Me and my girlfriend? Oh, my God. But don't. But don't tell your husband.

553
00:33:14,558 --> 00:33:17,470
Yeah. And it's like, no. Now it's way different.

554
00:33:17,590 --> 00:33:20,382
Well, yeah, we haven't had that in a long time. Yeah. Now if it's like

555
00:33:20,406 --> 00:33:23,774
that, they literally say, well, but I don't think my wife is interested or I

556
00:33:23,782 --> 00:33:27,434
don't think my husband is interested. I'm like, okay, cool. Yeah. Like,

557
00:33:27,522 --> 00:33:30,230
let's be upfront about it. Let's be up front. You know,

558
00:33:30,530 --> 00:33:34,618
but that's the thing about it is that. And there's more honesty.

559
00:33:34,794 --> 00:33:38,186
Shiesty. Yeah. There's just a lot of honesty in the community.

560
00:33:38,258 --> 00:33:42,042
I think there's more honesty in the community. I do agree with that, but I.

561
00:33:42,146 --> 00:33:45,178
I just don't feel Like, I think it, I think you can cherry pick.

562
00:33:45,234 --> 00:33:48,938
There are people out there in the vanilla world that can

563
00:33:49,074 --> 00:33:52,906
fit that mold and it can go well or it cannot

564
00:33:52,938 --> 00:33:55,554
go well. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Either it's going to be a

565
00:33:55,562 --> 00:33:58,482
good experience or it's not going to be a good experience. But it's the same

566
00:33:58,506 --> 00:34:01,490
thing with lifestyle. Yeah. No, that is so true.

567
00:34:01,570 --> 00:34:04,754
We've, we've talked to these people in the lifestyle and it's like, either it's going

568
00:34:04,762 --> 00:34:07,298
to be a good experience or it's not going to be a good experience.

569
00:34:07,434 --> 00:34:11,870
How do you know when you, when you like

570
00:34:12,570 --> 00:34:16,034
somebody in the lifestyle or out

571
00:34:16,042 --> 00:34:19,410
of the lifestyle, like, what catches your attention to say

572
00:34:19,530 --> 00:34:22,634
they might be up for it? Up for playing

573
00:34:22,722 --> 00:34:26,154
up for. Yeah, I mean, so, ooh,

574
00:34:26,282 --> 00:34:29,818
does a vanilla person automatically think that you are into

575
00:34:29,874 --> 00:34:32,970
them for sex? So I've come across that before

576
00:34:33,010 --> 00:34:36,650
and I try to, I try to squash that in the. Over communication.

577
00:34:36,730 --> 00:34:40,266
Yeah. So I really try to squash that. You know,

578
00:34:40,338 --> 00:34:44,202
whenever I mention the lifestyle

579
00:34:44,266 --> 00:34:47,190
and I go into, you know, all of that,

580
00:34:47,710 --> 00:34:51,590
I normally try and, and, and really squash

581
00:34:51,670 --> 00:34:55,270
any kind of preconceived notions. You kind of have to. Yeah. And you

582
00:34:55,310 --> 00:34:58,662
kind of have to do it right off the bat. Yeah. Yeah. Now I will

583
00:34:58,686 --> 00:35:02,486
tell you that because in the vanilla world,

584
00:35:02,558 --> 00:35:05,798
there is such prominent lying. Yes,

585
00:35:05,894 --> 00:35:09,446
there, there really is. In the vanilla world, there's such prominent

586
00:35:09,478 --> 00:35:11,970
lying and especially men to women,

587
00:35:12,430 --> 00:35:16,362
that women have been told by men,

588
00:35:16,546 --> 00:35:20,830
hey, I'm in an open relationship. My wife is okay.

589
00:35:21,170 --> 00:35:24,314
My wife is cool with it. Oh, well, I've been told that. Yeah,

590
00:35:24,442 --> 00:35:28,090
yeah. But, but what I'm saying is men tell this to

591
00:35:28,130 --> 00:35:31,482
women in the Vanilla War. Okay. Yes. And they're telling them, hey, my wife is

592
00:35:31,506 --> 00:35:34,842
cool with it. She's just not here right now. But I'm in an open relationship.

593
00:35:34,986 --> 00:35:38,350
Can we hook up? And so obviously,

594
00:35:38,770 --> 00:35:42,128
most women are not going to contact the wife to

595
00:35:42,184 --> 00:35:45,696
verify. So it's like, okay, well, I guess I'll

596
00:35:45,728 --> 00:35:49,712
trust you. Let's go ahead. And then they find out later on when they get

597
00:35:49,736 --> 00:35:53,424
a call from Monica that, that they.

598
00:35:53,512 --> 00:35:57,040
She slept with her husband. You know, it's like that right there. Shady.

599
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,336
That's shady on both ends. Well, no, I'm a woman.

600
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:03,856
Not shady on both. I'm a woman. And if she trusted.

601
00:36:03,968 --> 00:36:07,120
But if I'm, I'm a, I'm a woman. Now,

602
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,262
not every woman is like me, but I'm a woman. If a guy comes up

603
00:36:10,286 --> 00:36:13,542
to me and tells me I'm in it I'm a vanilla woman and comes up

604
00:36:13,566 --> 00:36:16,774
to me and says, I'm in an open relationship, but my wife,

605
00:36:16,822 --> 00:36:19,654
you know, she knows about this. I'd be like, oh, cool,

606
00:36:19,782 --> 00:36:23,462
let's start a chat with your wife. That's not. So you, you say

607
00:36:23,486 --> 00:36:27,286
that now because you're in the lifestyle. Yes. I'm talking

608
00:36:27,318 --> 00:36:30,758
about a vanilla woman. Who. You are not. You wouldn't.

609
00:36:30,854 --> 00:36:34,166
They wouldn't. You don't think they would ask you? I would ask.

610
00:36:34,238 --> 00:36:37,932
No, you would not. Of course, baby, I've known you for 14 years.

611
00:36:38,086 --> 00:36:42,032
You have only recently reached that position in the

612
00:36:42,056 --> 00:36:45,980
past year or two where you feel comfortable being like that.

613
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,968
Previous to that, you would have not, you would have said you wouldn't have trusted

614
00:36:49,984 --> 00:36:53,968
them. I, I've asked. You wouldn't have trusted them because you don't trust. I've asked.

615
00:36:54,104 --> 00:36:57,520
When I was here and I was. Talking to this guy, baby, we were

616
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:01,040
in the lifestyle. You were not vanilla. Oh, that's right. This is what I'm saying.

617
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,762
You're missing a very big point here. I'm talking about vanilla women.

618
00:37:04,896 --> 00:37:08,422
If you're a monogamous woman, not in

619
00:37:08,446 --> 00:37:12,102
the lifestyle. You have no idea about the lifestyle. You're not. You vaguely know

620
00:37:12,126 --> 00:37:15,750
about it. Okay. And some guy comes up to you and he's charming and

621
00:37:15,790 --> 00:37:18,758
witty and good looking. And then after a while, he,

622
00:37:18,814 --> 00:37:22,166
he's after a while of talking to you, you know, you're interested and you're

623
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:25,190
on the hook. And then he goes, listen, I'm going to be very honest with

624
00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:28,694
you. I'm married, but I'm

625
00:37:28,742 --> 00:37:32,460
in the lifestyle. That means that I am ethically non monogamous.

626
00:37:32,590 --> 00:37:35,872
We play separately. And I'm vanilla. You're vanilla.

627
00:37:35,936 --> 00:37:38,992
I'm ignorant to it. Exactly. You are ignorant to it.

628
00:37:39,016 --> 00:37:42,416
I'm ignorant. And so you're already liking this guy.

629
00:37:42,528 --> 00:37:45,776
All of a sudden he's telling you this, and it seems very honest, it seems

630
00:37:45,808 --> 00:37:48,700
very forthcoming. Why would he tell, why would he tell me all this?

631
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,300
Wow, it must be true. Yeah.

632
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,944
And you know, then all of a sudden it's like, okay,

633
00:37:54,992 --> 00:37:58,704
well, I guess if it's okay. I mean, his wife

634
00:37:58,752 --> 00:38:01,948
must be at home and she must be okay with him being out here.

635
00:38:02,084 --> 00:38:05,596
You know what I mean? It'd be easier to convince somebody who's

636
00:38:05,628 --> 00:38:08,972
ignorant. You're not ignorant to this now? Yeah. I mean, you've been in it

637
00:38:08,996 --> 00:38:12,188
for a while. Yeah. So it's not. It's not.

638
00:38:12,324 --> 00:38:16,172
And you immediately would go, no, I need to, I need to talk

639
00:38:16,196 --> 00:38:19,324
to your wife. Yeah. Whereas most Women wouldn't do that.

640
00:38:19,492 --> 00:38:23,436
Now, I will tell you that. Vanilla women, if you're listening and some guy

641
00:38:23,468 --> 00:38:26,538
tells you that, please, ask to. Talk to the wife.

642
00:38:26,554 --> 00:38:29,914
Ask to talk to the wife. Start a group chat, Do a group text.

643
00:38:30,042 --> 00:38:34,026
Yeah. So, you know, I'm actually very, very forthcoming.

644
00:38:34,138 --> 00:38:37,510
So I will tell them everything.

645
00:38:37,890 --> 00:38:40,762
And in the process, I will say,

646
00:38:40,946 --> 00:38:44,746
you are welcome just to message my wife one on one, and she'll

647
00:38:44,778 --> 00:38:48,794
tell you the same stuff. Yeah. And I don't think anybody's

648
00:38:48,842 --> 00:38:52,670
taken up. On that, but no, I've had

649
00:38:53,850 --> 00:38:56,310
people in the lifestyle,

650
00:38:57,050 --> 00:39:00,722
maybe one person text me or message me

651
00:39:00,746 --> 00:39:03,906
and be like, hey, just a heads up, Adam messaged me.

652
00:39:03,978 --> 00:39:07,458
Yeah. And we're chatting and. And of course, I always tell him, oh,

653
00:39:07,474 --> 00:39:09,750
that's good. Yeah. No, he told me. Yeah,

654
00:39:10,970 --> 00:39:14,466
just one person. Now, I'm usually the person that'll

655
00:39:14,498 --> 00:39:18,342
do that, but, like, if I've already met the couple at a

656
00:39:18,366 --> 00:39:21,890
club or I've already met them, I've already met them previous,

657
00:39:22,350 --> 00:39:25,670
and the guy starts messaging me, I won't contact the wife.

658
00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:29,094
Yeah. I did have a rule in my head that I was always going to

659
00:39:29,102 --> 00:39:33,014
contact the wife. Yeah. But I feel like if I've already

660
00:39:33,102 --> 00:39:36,998
met them, I'm pretty. You know,

661
00:39:37,054 --> 00:39:40,614
they can. They know my personality and I'm not. We are not

662
00:39:40,702 --> 00:39:44,118
in the background anymore. No. People seem to know us. Yeah.

663
00:39:44,214 --> 00:39:47,782
Especially in our community. Yeah. So. So if somebody

664
00:39:47,846 --> 00:39:52,086
is ballsy enough to express interest in you, they have to know that there's

665
00:39:52,118 --> 00:39:55,462
a chance you're going to run into their spouse. Yeah. And a

666
00:39:55,486 --> 00:39:59,286
conversation's going to be had. Yeah. So lying is not a really

667
00:39:59,358 --> 00:40:03,030
good idea. And, you know, you don't really see it in the

668
00:40:03,070 --> 00:40:06,662
lifestyle. I mean, I'm sure it's there, but it hasn't come

669
00:40:06,686 --> 00:40:09,542
to our doorstep. It hasn't come to our doorstep. But I've heard. It has.

670
00:40:09,566 --> 00:40:12,840
But I've heard stories. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I have

671
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,816
to. That's right. I've heard a lot of stories. It is so crazy. Yeah.

672
00:40:15,848 --> 00:40:19,976
It gets nutty. Now, I will. I will tell you. Like, we just recently

673
00:40:20,048 --> 00:40:23,640
had a conversation about how I wanted to reach

674
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:27,740
out, or I started reaching out to somebody who's. Who's a friend. She's vanilla.

675
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:32,140
And I think that's what kind of spurned this conversation,

676
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:37,720
I find. Well, it was easy for me because she was already a

677
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:41,360
friend and she sees our posts.

678
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:45,168
We're very active in the lifestyle and we're very open about it.

679
00:40:45,224 --> 00:40:49,136
Right. Obviously, we have a podcast and. And we advertise

680
00:40:49,168 --> 00:40:52,528
it on our. On our profiles and things like that so she

681
00:40:52,584 --> 00:40:56,192
knows what the situation is. But even after all of

682
00:40:56,216 --> 00:41:00,176
that, I still say you're welcome to message

683
00:41:00,208 --> 00:41:03,312
her if. If you feel like maybe this is not on

684
00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:06,112
the up and up, or, you know, I'm. I'm not being honest.

685
00:41:06,176 --> 00:41:09,518
Like, you can messenger, or if you want, I can have her message you.

686
00:41:09,574 --> 00:41:12,862
Like, whatever. I've got nothing to hide here. I've got

687
00:41:12,886 --> 00:41:17,214
nothing to lose. But I will tell you, I was nervous,

688
00:41:17,342 --> 00:41:20,782
and I think I told you this. I was nervous having that conversation with

689
00:41:20,806 --> 00:41:24,174
you just for the sheer fact that I know how you feel about

690
00:41:24,262 --> 00:41:27,822
me talking to somebody in the vanilla world and.

691
00:41:27,846 --> 00:41:30,894
And how you felt about that. But,

692
00:41:31,062 --> 00:41:34,510
you know, it's. Hence the show. Hence the show. Yeah.

693
00:41:34,590 --> 00:41:37,998
Yeah. Because we have. We have differing opinions, obviously. And I respect

694
00:41:38,054 --> 00:41:42,062
your opinion. I do. Yeah. And I don't. I respect yours. And I will

695
00:41:42,086 --> 00:41:44,878
tell you, I appreciate you being so forthcoming.

696
00:41:44,974 --> 00:41:48,810
Yeah. Because I. I know how you feel.

697
00:41:49,190 --> 00:41:52,046
It's hard to have that uncomfortable conversation,

698
00:41:52,238 --> 00:41:55,390
especially if I don't. I'm sorry. Well, you're.

699
00:41:55,470 --> 00:41:59,102
Yeah, you're not. But it's hard to have that conversation,

700
00:41:59,166 --> 00:42:02,698
especially when we don't agree in opinion. I. I am very

701
00:42:02,834 --> 00:42:07,274
strongly opinionated about this, and you are very strongly opinionated about this,

702
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:10,870
and I'm trying like hell not to.

703
00:42:12,130 --> 00:42:15,514
Not to remove any of your feelings. Your feelings

704
00:42:15,562 --> 00:42:19,190
are absolutely validated in this situation, and you have.

705
00:42:19,490 --> 00:42:22,570
You can back up what your beliefs are.

706
00:42:22,610 --> 00:42:26,730
There's reason. There's examples. Yeah. Like, we've seen it. Yeah. It exists.

707
00:42:26,810 --> 00:42:29,310
Yeah. And it's completely understandable.

708
00:42:30,310 --> 00:42:34,574
So go ahead. No, no, go ahead. I'm curious. I definitely

709
00:42:34,622 --> 00:42:37,854
had a hesitation. Yeah. When you told me, I was like.

710
00:42:37,942 --> 00:42:41,806
Yeah, Well, I knew you weren't gonna stop me.

711
00:42:41,878 --> 00:42:44,574
No, I wasn't. Because I know that that's where we're at in this relationship.

712
00:42:44,622 --> 00:42:47,790
But. Yeah. I. I knew you weren't gonna stop. I wasn't gonna stop you,

713
00:42:47,830 --> 00:42:51,290
but at the same time, I wanted to talk to you about it because

714
00:42:51,830 --> 00:42:55,022
I want you to be okay with it. Yeah. And I want you to be

715
00:42:55,046 --> 00:42:59,252
okay with it because I like where we're at in this part

716
00:42:59,276 --> 00:43:02,964
of our relationship, and the last thing I want to do is. Is blow this.

717
00:43:03,052 --> 00:43:06,548
Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I was like, I'm gonna

718
00:43:06,564 --> 00:43:09,732
just shoot this out there, and we're just gonna have

719
00:43:09,756 --> 00:43:13,120
to discuss it. I mean, I looked. I. When I was like,

720
00:43:13,980 --> 00:43:17,620
what do I think? Yeah. And I had a lot of things

721
00:43:17,660 --> 00:43:21,108
to text. Sure. And I deleted them all. I'm sure.

722
00:43:21,164 --> 00:43:24,596
Yeah. Because I have to think. Right. Right. You gotta process it. I process

723
00:43:24,668 --> 00:43:27,796
it. And I was like, mm, okay,

724
00:43:27,988 --> 00:43:31,748
let's. All right, let's do this. Only honestly.

725
00:43:31,924 --> 00:43:35,060
Only because I trust you and see.

726
00:43:35,100 --> 00:43:38,560
That makes me happy. And honestly, the second

727
00:43:38,860 --> 00:43:42,836
is because I know so

728
00:43:42,908 --> 00:43:46,980
many people. Yeah. The. So this

729
00:43:47,020 --> 00:43:50,356
person. This person is in. In friend. Like.

730
00:43:50,428 --> 00:43:53,310
Like, we have a lot of mutual friends. No.

731
00:43:53,430 --> 00:43:56,766
Yeah. And I know so many people and there.

732
00:43:56,838 --> 00:44:00,302
And I grew up with these people, and these people love me.

733
00:44:00,406 --> 00:44:04,366
Yeah. And they love you. Yeah. And we're

734
00:44:04,398 --> 00:44:08,526
not close to each other, but if anything became

735
00:44:08,638 --> 00:44:12,010
weird or not up and up,

736
00:44:12,630 --> 00:44:15,502
I would know. It would get found out. I would find out. It would get

737
00:44:15,526 --> 00:44:19,518
found out. You would probably be the first one to tell me, because you

738
00:44:19,574 --> 00:44:23,166
just can't live. Called damage control, man. Yeah. If you find.

739
00:44:23,238 --> 00:44:26,046
So this is the way I look at it. If you find out about it

740
00:44:26,198 --> 00:44:29,550
and it didn't come from me, then I am

741
00:44:29,670 --> 00:44:33,982
part of the problem. Then I am implicated in this. Yeah. And so

742
00:44:34,086 --> 00:44:37,582
I did. I saw it. I read your little text when

743
00:44:37,606 --> 00:44:41,182
you told me, and I know exactly how you felt because I know

744
00:44:41,206 --> 00:44:44,840
you don't. You're scared. Not scared. You just. You're scared.

745
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,696
I think it's a good word. It was uncomfortable. It was

746
00:44:48,768 --> 00:44:52,024
just your reaction. My reactions. Yeah. And so. Yeah.

747
00:44:52,072 --> 00:44:55,912
No, to be honest, I was like. I was

748
00:44:55,936 --> 00:44:59,096
prepared to argue it. Not. Not in a bad way. But I. I had.

749
00:44:59,168 --> 00:45:02,664
I had some. I had already thought about

750
00:45:02,832 --> 00:45:05,448
what your argument would be. Yo. Yeah.

751
00:45:05,544 --> 00:45:09,096
No. Oh, yeah. I had the whole thing worked out. So after the show,

752
00:45:09,168 --> 00:45:11,640
I have to hear. Because I had the whole thing worked out, because I.

753
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,994
I. In my head, I want to know. 1. There was. There was a couple

754
00:45:15,042 --> 00:45:18,002
of different things that. That you would have said, you know, because I know how

755
00:45:18,026 --> 00:45:21,938
you feel about. About the vanilla world and the women in the vanilla

756
00:45:21,954 --> 00:45:26,670
world and me kind of reaching out and. And my. My whole thing was if,

757
00:45:26,970 --> 00:45:30,562
you know, we're. It's really not. To me,

758
00:45:30,586 --> 00:45:33,730
it's really not that different than me reaching out

759
00:45:33,770 --> 00:45:37,394
to somebody in the lifestyle. To me, as far as I'm

760
00:45:37,442 --> 00:45:40,940
concerned, because of how open and

761
00:45:40,980 --> 00:45:43,804
forthcoming I am and how open I am with you.

762
00:45:43,892 --> 00:45:47,404
Right. So it's not like if we're in

763
00:45:47,412 --> 00:45:51,468
the lifestyle and I'm talking to some girl in the lifestyle.

764
00:45:51,644 --> 00:45:55,596
Yeah. Whatever happens is in our community, if it's bad,

765
00:45:55,668 --> 00:45:58,860
it's going to get found out in our community. You're going to know about it.

766
00:45:58,900 --> 00:46:02,680
Right. Right. But it's not like if I go outside of our community,

767
00:46:03,140 --> 00:46:05,964
then all of a sudden it's a secret from you. Yeah. You know what I

768
00:46:05,972 --> 00:46:09,278
mean? And I feel like you've always kind of thought. Thought of it that way

769
00:46:09,334 --> 00:46:12,878
in the fact that if it's in our community. Cool. It's fine.

770
00:46:13,054 --> 00:46:16,894
I. I'll know. Yeah. But if it's outside of our community,

771
00:46:17,062 --> 00:46:20,686
then, ooh, there might be a chance that he may cheat or

772
00:46:20,758 --> 00:46:24,062
there may be a chance that somebody in the vanilla world is going to

773
00:46:24,086 --> 00:46:27,630
try and take him from me. Yes. And. And I know that's how you

774
00:46:27,670 --> 00:46:31,534
think. Yeah. Because that's just automatically how you think.

775
00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:35,400
Yeah. And I know that that could

776
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:39,736
never happen because I'm still the same guy, whether it's

777
00:46:39,848 --> 00:46:43,240
in the community or outside of the community. I am still

778
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:46,792
that same husband who's going to be absolutely forthcoming with you.

779
00:46:46,896 --> 00:46:50,408
I'm still the same husband who's going to communicate everything with you.

780
00:46:50,544 --> 00:46:54,600
You know, you're still going to have access to my phone and my messenger and

781
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:58,024
all of that. So realistically, whether I'm talking to somebody in

782
00:46:58,032 --> 00:47:01,820
the lifestyle, I'm talking to somebody outside of the lifestyle you still

783
00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:05,644
have, it's me. And so. Yeah. That's why. That's the

784
00:47:05,652 --> 00:47:08,412
only reason. So. And that was my argument. That was the argument that I was

785
00:47:08,436 --> 00:47:11,372
prepared to make. Yeah. No, that's a. No. I. That's. That was the argument I

786
00:47:11,396 --> 00:47:13,980
had in my head. Besides the other one I had in my head. Yeah.

787
00:47:14,060 --> 00:47:17,880
That one was probably. This one is the one that won because I was like,

788
00:47:18,340 --> 00:47:22,044
okay. And that's where I would have gone. Because realistically, it's.

789
00:47:22,092 --> 00:47:25,228
It's you trusting me. Yeah. Now, you know,

790
00:47:25,364 --> 00:47:27,880
I don't. If it was somebody close by,

791
00:47:28,610 --> 00:47:32,282
you'd. Be more apt to say no. I would be more apt to say no.

792
00:47:32,386 --> 00:47:36,310
Now, I can understand that. And this was part of the reason why

793
00:47:36,690 --> 00:47:40,138
I'm okay with this myself. Yeah. Because I agree

794
00:47:40,194 --> 00:47:44,154
with you. Yeah. If it was a vanilla woman who lived

795
00:47:44,202 --> 00:47:47,930
close by. Yeah. There's no guarantee

796
00:47:48,010 --> 00:47:51,322
that she would continue to be on the up and up. She might get

797
00:47:51,346 --> 00:47:54,824
a little needy. Yeah. She might be. Well, can't you just sneak out

798
00:47:54,832 --> 00:47:56,968
of the house and come give me a kiss? You know, that sort of thing.

799
00:47:57,024 --> 00:48:00,216
Yeah. Unethical. Yeah, Unethical. Yeah. Yeah.

800
00:48:00,248 --> 00:48:03,800
No, I agree 100%. Yeah. And that was part of the appeal to me as

801
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:07,064
well in this situation was that she doesn't live nearby. Right. You know what

802
00:48:07,072 --> 00:48:10,936
I mean? So that. That all played out with.

803
00:48:11,008 --> 00:48:14,408
With that. But I do agree with that. If it was somebody close

804
00:48:14,464 --> 00:48:17,976
by and it was somebody in the vanilla world, I would be.

805
00:48:18,128 --> 00:48:21,216
I would be a bit more uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

806
00:48:21,248 --> 00:48:24,976
And I probably wouldn't even consider it now. You wouldn't

807
00:48:25,008 --> 00:48:28,832
consider it at all? I wouldn't consider it not because I don't trust myself,

808
00:48:28,976 --> 00:48:32,320
but because I wouldn't want to

809
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:35,856
feel the uncomfortable feelings from you because I know how you feel about it.

810
00:48:35,928 --> 00:48:39,120
Especially if we could bump into her at the H E B.

811
00:48:39,240 --> 00:48:42,944
You know, that sort of thing. Like, it can get weird. My kids are here.

812
00:48:43,032 --> 00:48:47,024
You know what I mean? Like, this is our actual community, not our lifestyle

813
00:48:47,072 --> 00:48:50,782
community. Yeah. And then on top of all that,

814
00:48:50,966 --> 00:48:54,126
you know, like I said, I trust myself,

815
00:48:54,318 --> 00:48:58,410
but I don't want to be put in that uncomfortable position

816
00:48:58,710 --> 00:49:01,966
to have to tell somebody. Look, I, I don't like this.

817
00:49:02,038 --> 00:49:05,838
Yeah. Because I guarantee you she's gonna know where I live.

818
00:49:05,974 --> 00:49:09,054
You know what I mean? We live in the same community. Yeah. She's gonna know

819
00:49:09,062 --> 00:49:12,926
how to find me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I don't need that.

820
00:49:12,998 --> 00:49:16,282
You know? Would she be. Are you saying that she would be

821
00:49:16,306 --> 00:49:20,106
okay with it and then get needy, so I'm talking

822
00:49:20,138 --> 00:49:23,370
about if you were to. Okay. Yeah. Like, she'd be okay with it and then

823
00:49:23,410 --> 00:49:26,394
get needy. So I can tell you this. I, I, That's. I can tell you

824
00:49:26,402 --> 00:49:29,530
that there are a lot of vanilla women out there that I could easily talk

825
00:49:29,570 --> 00:49:32,714
to. Yes. I could explain to them the situation.

826
00:49:32,842 --> 00:49:35,830
Yes. And I could probably get them on board.

827
00:49:36,130 --> 00:49:39,338
Yes. To. To play with me or even

828
00:49:39,474 --> 00:49:42,850
date or whatever. Yeah. Like, I could easily get them on board,

829
00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:46,582
but it would. The dynamic would eventually change.

830
00:49:46,686 --> 00:49:49,690
Change. Yeah. Because I'm a likable character,

831
00:49:51,150 --> 00:49:54,326
and I'm, you know, I'm just being honest. I am a likable character.

832
00:49:54,358 --> 00:49:58,198
I will. And people tend to gravitate and they really

833
00:49:58,254 --> 00:50:01,590
want to consume. Yes. And it's. And,

834
00:50:01,630 --> 00:50:05,142
And I try to explain, look, I've got family, I've got kids.

835
00:50:05,206 --> 00:50:08,432
I, I'm very close to my wife. Like, these are my priorities.

836
00:50:08,496 --> 00:50:12,400
This is why poly was hard. Yeah. Because initially

837
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:16,368
it was. Okay. I can respect that. I respect your priority list.

838
00:50:16,424 --> 00:50:20,336
Yeah. But then after a while, it was. I, I really wish

839
00:50:20,368 --> 00:50:23,488
you would text me more. Are we gonna go out this way,

840
00:50:23,544 --> 00:50:26,896
too? Girl, it's. It's my birthday. Can you take me out for my birthday?

841
00:50:26,928 --> 00:50:30,352
And I'm like, well, your birthday is landing on a week that we're. We got

842
00:50:30,376 --> 00:50:34,154
a lot going on, you know, so. So the dynamic

843
00:50:34,202 --> 00:50:38,314
would Change. Yeah. It would totally change. Right. But as far as convincing

844
00:50:38,362 --> 00:50:41,562
somebody from the vanilla world. Yeah, Easy. Yeah.

845
00:50:41,626 --> 00:50:45,114
Now, would you care if I was with somebody in the

846
00:50:45,122 --> 00:50:48,154
vanilla world? No. Not at all. At all?

847
00:50:48,242 --> 00:50:52,042
No. And, and I, and I answered that quickly. Yeah. Because I

848
00:50:52,066 --> 00:50:55,610
trust you. Right. I trust you 100. You would.

849
00:50:55,650 --> 00:50:59,274
You wouldn't? No. Wouldn't bother me at all. Because you're not

850
00:50:59,282 --> 00:51:02,618
a weenie. You're, you're not, you're not a pushover.

851
00:51:02,794 --> 00:51:05,642
You are a very, very strong woman, which is one of the things I love

852
00:51:05,666 --> 00:51:09,514
about you. And if somebody violates

853
00:51:09,562 --> 00:51:13,450
a rule or a boundary, if somebody acts a certain way, you have

854
00:51:13,490 --> 00:51:16,794
no problem getting confrontational. You have no problem putting people in

855
00:51:16,802 --> 00:51:20,186
their place. Yeah, I'm a very nice person. Yeah. And especially

856
00:51:20,258 --> 00:51:24,234
with women. And I, I don't

857
00:51:24,282 --> 00:51:27,386
like to get stern or ugly with people,

858
00:51:27,458 --> 00:51:30,330
especially women. Yeah. It's not in my nature.

859
00:51:30,410 --> 00:51:33,434
I have done it before. If I have to, I will. Yeah.

860
00:51:33,482 --> 00:51:36,714
But really, it takes a good far

861
00:51:36,882 --> 00:51:40,570
ways to reach that point. Yeah. I really try to be direct

862
00:51:40,690 --> 00:51:44,266
in a nice way. You know, I'll be very upfront

863
00:51:44,298 --> 00:51:47,834
and honest. Look, I'm sorry, but this is not gonna work.

864
00:51:48,002 --> 00:51:51,210
You know, you are very upfront and honest. Yes, I am

865
00:51:51,250 --> 00:51:54,808
always 100% upfront honest. I don't want any

866
00:51:54,944 --> 00:51:58,580
interpretations the wrong way. But also,

867
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:02,392
there's nice ways for me to say it. So I always word it in

868
00:52:02,416 --> 00:52:06,168
a good way, but very directed. Now, if that

869
00:52:06,304 --> 00:52:09,624
doesn't work and they just keep on and keep on,

870
00:52:09,792 --> 00:52:12,824
well, then eventually I don't want to become that person.

871
00:52:12,992 --> 00:52:16,660
I turn to my wife and I let her be that person.

872
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:21,024
And, and I, you know, I, I, maybe people think I'm weak for that.

873
00:52:21,112 --> 00:52:23,984
I do always enjoy that.

874
00:52:24,072 --> 00:52:26,768
I know. I'm so glad. Luckily, you don't have to do it very often.

875
00:52:26,904 --> 00:52:30,752
You know, I've only had to do it twice, maybe three times.

876
00:52:30,856 --> 00:52:34,192
Really? That many? I can only think of one. Yeah, I think I've had to

877
00:52:34,216 --> 00:52:37,648
do twice then. Yeah. Yeah, probably. I don't

878
00:52:37,664 --> 00:52:41,472
know. But, but yeah, I, I, I don't like having to come

879
00:52:41,496 --> 00:52:43,392
back to you and say, hey, can you take care of this for me?

880
00:52:43,416 --> 00:52:46,950
I'm always so ready to. Oh, I know. I'm like a little bulldog. Most people

881
00:52:46,990 --> 00:52:50,310
are scared of you. I'm the little bulldog next to you. Most people are

882
00:52:50,350 --> 00:52:53,782
not confrontational. Yeah. And they don't want to be confronted by

883
00:52:53,806 --> 00:52:57,542
other people. Yeah, that's most people. Nobody likes to be called out.

884
00:52:57,646 --> 00:53:01,750
No. No. But some people just don't get the

885
00:53:01,790 --> 00:53:04,902
hint. Yeah. And realistically, I can. I can

886
00:53:04,926 --> 00:53:08,102
only do so much. I will be direct. I will be forward. I will

887
00:53:08,126 --> 00:53:11,302
be 100%. I am going to break it

888
00:53:11,326 --> 00:53:14,612
down for you. And after that, if you

889
00:53:14,716 --> 00:53:18,756
persist and you continue to make me uncomfortable,

890
00:53:18,948 --> 00:53:21,492
then I'm going to have to turn to my wife and say, hey, can you

891
00:53:21,516 --> 00:53:25,300
take care of this for me? Because I don't want to get ugly,

892
00:53:25,380 --> 00:53:29,332
and my wife is already ready. So, hey, go ahead.

893
00:53:29,436 --> 00:53:31,908
Not to mention, if I come up to you and I tell you, hey,

894
00:53:31,924 --> 00:53:36,212
can you handle this for me? Because it's not working out, that is

895
00:53:36,316 --> 00:53:40,212
another full form of transparency and

896
00:53:40,236 --> 00:53:43,614
honesty, because I could eat easily, hide it, and go, oh, she's.

897
00:53:43,662 --> 00:53:46,558
She's being crazy. But I'm just gonna leave it alone. Yeah. You know, no,

898
00:53:46,614 --> 00:53:50,110
I'm gonna bring my wife because you and I are a team. Yeah. And we

899
00:53:50,150 --> 00:53:53,358
handle this together. Yeah. And so you're gonna know everything that's

900
00:53:53,374 --> 00:53:57,294
happening up until that point. And. And. And, you know, it's not going to

901
00:53:57,302 --> 00:54:01,022
be a surprise. Whenever I call you in, you'll probably have offered three

902
00:54:01,046 --> 00:54:04,430
or four times already. I'm like, okay, go ahead. You know.

903
00:54:04,550 --> 00:54:08,398
Yeah. You know, it's. It's that Godfather moment where they go up to Fredo,

904
00:54:08,494 --> 00:54:11,962
and the bodyguard's like, hey, man, if you don't. You don't take care of this.

905
00:54:12,066 --> 00:54:15,658
Michael says, I have to. He's like, I think you're going to have to.

906
00:54:15,794 --> 00:54:18,778
Yeah. And he has to remove his wife from the dance floor. Yeah, that's.

907
00:54:18,794 --> 00:54:22,586
I mean, that's. Essentially, you're. You're my. You're my mafia bodyguard. I'm like,

908
00:54:22,658 --> 00:54:25,258
you know, I think you're going to have to. Now, luckily for me, it doesn't

909
00:54:25,274 --> 00:54:29,050
happen very often. No. Most of the people that I talk to, I really try

910
00:54:29,090 --> 00:54:32,522
and talk to genuinely nice people.

911
00:54:32,706 --> 00:54:36,750
There are red flags initially, when you have a first conversation

912
00:54:37,460 --> 00:54:40,760
that will tell you maybe this isn't the person.

913
00:54:41,300 --> 00:54:44,812
There's stubbornness. There's certain things, like they just maybe won't catch

914
00:54:44,876 --> 00:54:48,700
on. Things like that. There are big red flags that will tell

915
00:54:48,740 --> 00:54:52,332
you, this is not a good person to do this with. And I've had

916
00:54:52,356 --> 00:54:55,372
that before. And as soon as I see that, I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not

917
00:54:55,396 --> 00:54:58,060
going to do that. But there are other people where it's just like,

918
00:54:58,100 --> 00:55:01,820
okay, cool. This particular person that.

919
00:55:01,860 --> 00:55:03,720
That. That we were talking about earlier,

920
00:55:04,930 --> 00:55:08,170
she already knew that we were in the lifestyle. She already

921
00:55:08,210 --> 00:55:11,210
knew about the podcast, you know, because of everything that we Put out there.

922
00:55:11,250 --> 00:55:14,618
We're very open about the life that we lead.

923
00:55:14,674 --> 00:55:18,234
Yes. And so that helped. Now, is she in the lifestyle?

924
00:55:18,282 --> 00:55:22,138
No, but she has

925
00:55:22,194 --> 00:55:26,698
expressed the interest in the thought and

926
00:55:26,834 --> 00:55:30,800
the thought is appealing. And, and she likes women

927
00:55:31,260 --> 00:55:34,708
and we're a couple, so it's one of those things where it's

928
00:55:34,724 --> 00:55:38,356
like, it's good conversation that we could be having,

929
00:55:38,428 --> 00:55:41,732
you know, why not? Yeah. You know, and it doesn't mean

930
00:55:41,756 --> 00:55:45,252
that she's on board. It doesn't mean anything like that. It's just a friendship

931
00:55:45,316 --> 00:55:48,516
that we're openly communicating with and who knows?

932
00:55:48,708 --> 00:55:52,516
You never know. Yeah. But it's one of those things where I, I am

933
00:55:52,588 --> 00:55:56,054
very, very open and forthcoming. And you know, if,

934
00:55:56,142 --> 00:55:59,014
if anything, I'd be like, hey, you know what, honey, you mind sending her a

935
00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:02,310
message? Just let, let her know that, that you actually talked to me about

936
00:56:02,350 --> 00:56:05,606
this, you know, and, and most guys,

937
00:56:05,718 --> 00:56:10,182
you know, a lot of machismo guys would never do that. No. Because it's

938
00:56:10,326 --> 00:56:13,974
giving up. Like demeaning giving up. It's a little, it does feel a little.

939
00:56:14,062 --> 00:56:17,222
A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Demeaning. Yeah.

940
00:56:17,286 --> 00:56:21,820
But it's a small ask

941
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,488
as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. For the freedom that you're

942
00:56:25,504 --> 00:56:28,380
giving me. Yeah. It's a very small ask.

943
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:31,500
And anything that I do,

944
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:35,248
I need to know that you, that I have your blessing on it.

945
00:56:35,304 --> 00:56:38,560
Yeah. Or I can't do it. That's nice. Even if you

946
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:41,920
told me, I don't agree. Like if you came back and you

947
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:45,104
said, I just don't agree with it, I'll let you do whatever you're going to

948
00:56:45,112 --> 00:56:47,312
do, but I just really don't like it. Yeah. I don't agree with it.

949
00:56:47,336 --> 00:56:50,772
Yeah. That would sit with me. I'd probably

950
00:56:50,836 --> 00:56:53,812
talk to her for another couple days and then I'd be like, sorry, but I

951
00:56:53,836 --> 00:56:56,612
just don't think I can do this. Yeah. You know what I mean? It kind

952
00:56:56,636 --> 00:57:00,212
of eats at you. I, I really. And not in

953
00:57:00,316 --> 00:57:03,316
I have to have your support or I can't do it. It kind of eats

954
00:57:03,348 --> 00:57:06,692
at you. And that's on everything. It kind of eats at you for a while.

955
00:57:06,796 --> 00:57:10,468
Yeah. And then, you know, and then I fold. And then you fold.

956
00:57:10,564 --> 00:57:14,420
Yeah. Like a two dollar chair. And no resentment.

957
00:57:14,580 --> 00:57:18,180
No, of course not. Which is nice. This is our, this is our relationship.

958
00:57:18,260 --> 00:57:21,828
Yeah. And which is nice. There's no resentment. Which is, it's like,

959
00:57:21,964 --> 00:57:25,460
that's cool. I would like to think that if I came up to you and

960
00:57:25,500 --> 00:57:29,076
I said, look, I don't agree with this. Situation. I don't

961
00:57:29,108 --> 00:57:33,120
like it. Here's the reason why. But I'm not going to stop you.

962
00:57:33,980 --> 00:57:37,300
And I let you do your thing. Yeah. If you come

963
00:57:37,340 --> 00:57:40,224
back to me in a couple days and go, I went ahead to stop.

964
00:57:40,252 --> 00:57:44,376
Stopped. That would make me very happy. Yeah. If you don't ever

965
00:57:44,448 --> 00:57:47,608
stop. Yeah. And you're like, well, I know how he feels about it, but I'm

966
00:57:47,624 --> 00:57:50,824
just gonna keep on. I'd be a little hurt by it. I would be a

967
00:57:50,832 --> 00:57:54,152
little hurt. So a lot of, A lot. A lot of the things that

968
00:57:54,176 --> 00:57:58,008
I do, I tend to. I try to think how

969
00:57:58,064 --> 00:58:01,032
I would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. So that's what I

970
00:58:01,056 --> 00:58:04,248
did today. Yeah. Yeah, I, I did that because

971
00:58:04,304 --> 00:58:08,256
I don't ever do that because I'm a selfish bitch. I mean,

972
00:58:08,448 --> 00:58:11,820
I am straight up selfish. You know, I want

973
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:15,728
all of you Right. At every single moment in time.

974
00:58:15,784 --> 00:58:19,500
Yeah. I'm obsessed right. With you.

975
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:21,740
And so I'm like.

976
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,360
I thought about it. Yeah, I did. And I was like,

977
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,820
man, if this was turned around,

978
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:33,712
okay, yeah, he would love it, but I

979
00:58:33,736 --> 00:58:37,376
would be okay with it. Yeah, I know. And it's primarily because, like I said,

980
00:58:37,448 --> 00:58:41,528
I really trust you. Yeah. You're very. You have always

981
00:58:41,584 --> 00:58:45,400
been more open and honest than I have been. And that

982
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:48,824
says a lot because. No, you have been open and honest.

983
00:58:48,872 --> 00:58:52,344
I'm just faster at it. You're faster at it? I, I, I, Yeah,

984
00:58:52,392 --> 00:58:55,432
I, I do come out with it, but I, I like to think about how

985
00:58:55,456 --> 00:58:58,600
I'm going to say things and you have to. Timing and things like that.

986
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,880
Like, there's a lot. I used to get mad at you for that. Yeah.

987
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:05,458
But I understand why now.

988
00:59:05,514 --> 00:59:09,074
Because you explained. Yeah, it's, it's just. But it took, it's how

989
00:59:09,162 --> 00:59:12,898
many years? It took a while. It took a while. But I'm glad that we're

990
00:59:12,914 --> 00:59:16,578
at where we're at. Yeah. You know, it's one of those things where I'm

991
00:59:16,594 --> 00:59:20,290
always going to be honest, but I need to know how to express it.

992
00:59:20,330 --> 00:59:23,570
I need to know. There's just a lot. Well, you did a good

993
00:59:23,610 --> 00:59:27,474
job. So I, I know that when there's something I have to talk to

994
00:59:27,482 --> 00:59:30,738
you about, uncomfortably, it's always best

995
00:59:30,794 --> 00:59:33,838
to do it via text. Yes.

996
00:59:34,014 --> 00:59:37,198
When I'm not near you. Yes. Because you're gonna

997
00:59:37,214 --> 00:59:41,006
need time to process. Yes. You're probably gonna make some not

998
00:59:41,078 --> 00:59:44,526
good faces. Yes. So if you're in front of me and I'm telling

999
00:59:44,558 --> 00:59:47,930
you this, it may not be the best or you May try to hide it

1000
00:59:48,550 --> 00:59:50,590
because you're in front of me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you may

1001
00:59:50,630 --> 00:59:53,774
try and hide your faces. Yeah. But, you know, I do know. Oh, my God.

1002
00:59:53,822 --> 00:59:57,262
My energy changes. Yeah. Big time. Big time. I completely go

1003
00:59:57,286 --> 01:00:02,648
into a mode of protection.

1004
01:00:02,824 --> 01:00:06,056
Yeah. Territorial. Right. The big cat.

1005
01:00:06,168 --> 01:00:09,752
Right. I'm the big cat. Yeah. And I don't snore. I'm the

1006
01:00:09,776 --> 01:00:13,272
big cat. Right. And I'm on top of you.

1007
01:00:13,376 --> 01:00:16,280
Sure. And that's what I picture in my head. And then I'm like,

1008
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:20,780
okay. And I'm looking at all these hyenas

1009
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:25,480
around us, and I'm like, okay.

1010
01:00:27,020 --> 01:00:31,280
Do they. They all want to be his friend? Let's see.

1011
01:00:31,580 --> 01:00:34,772
Okay. Why? What's so bad about it? Right. And I go

1012
01:00:34,796 --> 01:00:37,124
through all of them and I'm like, all right, you're cool. Whatever,

1013
01:00:37,172 --> 01:00:40,052
whatever. And I go through the good stuff,

1014
01:00:40,116 --> 01:00:43,076
right? Yeah. There's not a lot of good stuff. No.

1015
01:00:43,148 --> 01:00:46,480
Only because I'm selfish. Right. Sure. So I'm like,

1016
01:00:46,780 --> 01:00:50,400
I already do that for him. The primary good stuff is.

1017
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:53,712
Is that, you know, I. I like the freedom of it.

1018
01:00:53,816 --> 01:00:57,712
You know, I enjoy this. Yeah. And so you're like, I want him to be

1019
01:00:57,736 --> 01:01:00,736
happy. Yes. I know. That's why you do this. Yeah.

1020
01:01:00,848 --> 01:01:04,000
Well, I mean, I can't deny it now. You've already said it. No, I've.

1021
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:07,152
I've always. I. I know that's why you do a lot of the

1022
01:01:07,176 --> 01:01:09,900
things. Honestly, I do it.

1023
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:13,568
I do it for your.

1024
01:01:13,624 --> 01:01:17,390
Just pure happiness. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah.

1025
01:01:17,470 --> 01:01:20,830
Like, I know. I know that it's just for your happiness.

1026
01:01:20,910 --> 01:01:23,934
Right. But I know that. I can tell you.

1027
01:01:24,102 --> 01:01:27,870
I don't like that. Like you just said, you know, it'll sit with you,

1028
01:01:27,990 --> 01:01:32,250
whatever. And only because

1029
01:01:32,550 --> 01:01:35,630
it's been so many practices all.

1030
01:01:35,750 --> 01:01:40,350
You know, you've seen it a few times, and we've had conversation over conversation.

1031
01:01:40,510 --> 01:01:44,534
Right. Agreeing, disagreeing that we've

1032
01:01:44,582 --> 01:01:48,534
come to this. You've seen me walk away from stuff. Because you've

1033
01:01:48,582 --> 01:01:52,134
told me to. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I'm. You know that

1034
01:01:52,142 --> 01:01:55,750
I'm on board. Begrudgingly. You know. Yeah. It's. It is what it is. You're human.

1035
01:01:55,870 --> 01:02:00,246
Right. But it took a lot of. Although I am very selfish.

1036
01:02:00,438 --> 01:02:04,070
It took a lot of the selfishness away. And I'm like,

1037
01:02:04,190 --> 01:02:08,214
okay, I guess. Conversion. Conversion. I guess I

1038
01:02:08,222 --> 01:02:11,254
gotta be. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's being happy for my.

1039
01:02:11,342 --> 01:02:14,724
Well, so that. No, but that's also. You're.

1040
01:02:14,852 --> 01:02:18,452
You're allowing this for my Hat for

1041
01:02:18,476 --> 01:02:22,068
your happiness. Oh, okay. Yeah. So that's almost. So I don't

1042
01:02:22,084 --> 01:02:24,724
have to be happy for you. Well, I mean, it would be nice if you

1043
01:02:24,732 --> 01:02:28,132
were happy for me. You know, you're kind of happy. You want me to be

1044
01:02:28,156 --> 01:02:31,204
happy. I want you. My happiness makes you're happy, isn't it? Yes.

1045
01:02:31,252 --> 01:02:34,852
So there you go. And it doesn't matter how

1046
01:02:34,876 --> 01:02:38,532
you're happy, like, whatever makes you happy. But, yes, I do

1047
01:02:38,556 --> 01:02:41,394
have the process, so I would rather you.

1048
01:02:41,482 --> 01:02:44,434
I used to get mad at you. Yeah. For doing it via text. Because I

1049
01:02:44,442 --> 01:02:47,470
wasn't in front of you. Right. To show you how much I disliked it.

1050
01:02:48,810 --> 01:02:52,434
It's nice. It's nice. You know, it's nice

1051
01:02:52,482 --> 01:02:56,642
now. It's nice now to be in the closet.

1052
01:02:56,786 --> 01:03:00,082
Yeah. You know, poking your little voodoo doll that I've made

1053
01:03:00,106 --> 01:03:03,830
of you with your hair. Oh, my God. And your toenail clippings,

1054
01:03:05,290 --> 01:03:08,640
you know, things like that. Like, it's nice that I can be

1055
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:13,088
in my own little world and not

1056
01:03:13,144 --> 01:03:17,568
react. And you do it when my meds midday.

1057
01:03:17,664 --> 01:03:20,864
Yeah. So if I'm at work, it's a good time.

1058
01:03:20,952 --> 01:03:24,080
Yeah. Unless you've done something really

1059
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:27,712
stupid. It's really. Which is rare. It's really best for

1060
01:03:27,736 --> 01:03:31,408
you to take me to eat somewhere nice. Like. Yeah.

1061
01:03:31,504 --> 01:03:35,314
Something comforting. That makes sense. And then you can tell me. But, like,

1062
01:03:35,402 --> 01:03:38,866
only because. Well, that's the thing, though. If I.

1063
01:03:38,938 --> 01:03:42,562
I would. I wouldn't do anything stupid without talking to you first.

1064
01:03:42,746 --> 01:03:46,258
So I wouldn't be caught dead doing something stupid. Because if it was getting

1065
01:03:46,314 --> 01:03:50,110
close to that, if something feels inappropriate or,

1066
01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:53,810
like, I'm gonna get in trouble for it, I talk to you about it ahead

1067
01:03:53,850 --> 01:03:56,834
of time. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I mean,

1068
01:03:56,922 --> 01:04:00,124
you know that that's the only reason I was like, all right, vanilla or not,

1069
01:04:00,242 --> 01:04:03,272
whatever. Yeah. He's happy. He knows.

1070
01:04:03,416 --> 01:04:06,376
And I had, like, so many texts, you know,

1071
01:04:06,528 --> 01:04:09,688
it's like the last one, I was going to send it. If I didn't send

1072
01:04:09,704 --> 01:04:12,824
it, you know how to control it. You didn't send that. But, yeah.

1073
01:04:12,872 --> 01:04:16,600
Yeah. You. You control this. Yeah. Because it's you

1074
01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:18,760
doing it. Do you know what I mean? Like,

1075
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:22,860
it's. You can't say, oh, it's not my fault,

1076
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:27,320
because it's your decision. Right. So, you know, at this point

1077
01:04:27,360 --> 01:04:30,836
in time, you know that

1078
01:04:30,988 --> 01:04:34,468
if this girl or whoever it is that I'm

1079
01:04:34,484 --> 01:04:38,280
talking to, if things escalate

1080
01:04:38,620 --> 01:04:42,340
to a certain point, then that means that I let it

1081
01:04:42,380 --> 01:04:45,620
escalate to that point. You know what I mean? You Allowed it. I am.

1082
01:04:45,740 --> 01:04:48,836
I am at fault. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's the whole

1083
01:04:48,868 --> 01:04:52,260
idea here, is that to not let it get. Yeah. To that.

1084
01:04:52,300 --> 01:04:56,302
Yeah. And. But I wouldn't have understood that,

1085
01:04:56,486 --> 01:05:00,158
you know, two years ago. Yeah. It's a very different

1086
01:05:00,214 --> 01:05:03,886
time. It's a. It's only because of the communication,

1087
01:05:03,998 --> 01:05:07,166
you know, trial and errors, all the little

1088
01:05:07,318 --> 01:05:11,054
shits and whatever. And so it's really nice that we've gotten

1089
01:05:11,182 --> 01:05:14,526
to this point. And although we don't

1090
01:05:14,558 --> 01:05:17,246
agree with the vanilla, you know, we don't.

1091
01:05:17,278 --> 01:05:20,716
Yeah, yeah. It is easier to be

1092
01:05:20,788 --> 01:05:24,348
accepting of it because we're here. Yeah. And I.

1093
01:05:24,404 --> 01:05:27,612
I like that. I like that we're at that place in our

1094
01:05:27,636 --> 01:05:31,196
relationship where. Yeah, we don't agree with it, but you're

1095
01:05:31,228 --> 01:05:35,020
going to be okay with it because. Because you know that I know you.

1096
01:05:35,140 --> 01:05:39,164
You know, and it's like, cool, whatever. But it is.

1097
01:05:39,252 --> 01:05:42,316
It is way easier, you know,

1098
01:05:42,468 --> 01:05:46,366
being comfortable with it, so. Right on.

1099
01:05:46,438 --> 01:05:50,382
You know, it's not impossible. You know what? This is

1100
01:05:50,406 --> 01:05:53,390
a good conversation. It is. Yeah. This is a good conversation.

1101
01:05:53,470 --> 01:05:56,730
We needed to have it. We actually did need to have it.

1102
01:05:57,030 --> 01:06:00,462
But look at that. Yeah. And I'm. And I'm glad that we were able to

1103
01:06:00,486 --> 01:06:03,950
have it with an audience because, you know, it's not just us that

1104
01:06:03,990 --> 01:06:07,358
deal with this. There are a lot of members in our community that are dealing

1105
01:06:07,374 --> 01:06:10,622
with this. There's a lot of people who are in the vanilla world who may

1106
01:06:10,646 --> 01:06:13,774
be dealing with. Yeah, yeah. Know, there could be people in the vanilla world who

1107
01:06:13,782 --> 01:06:16,702
are listening to our podcast who are like, well, there's somebody that I'm talking to

1108
01:06:16,726 --> 01:06:20,462
who's in the lifestyle, but I don't know. And this, you know, there's a

1109
01:06:20,486 --> 01:06:24,046
lot. At play and we have a lot of vanilla

1110
01:06:24,078 --> 01:06:27,454
friends. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, with that,

1111
01:06:27,622 --> 01:06:31,022
you know, I just want to tell our, our audience, you know,

1112
01:06:31,046 --> 01:06:33,998
have you stepped outside your. Your circle?

1113
01:06:34,174 --> 01:06:38,072
You know, do you prefer to keep things in the

1114
01:06:38,096 --> 01:06:41,960
lifestyle or are you okay stepping outside of your

1115
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:45,864
community? You know, I want to hear from you guys. I want to know

1116
01:06:46,032 --> 01:06:49,592
what you think. Now, chances are you know who we are.

1117
01:06:49,696 --> 01:06:52,936
You follow us on one of our social medias, which my wife

1118
01:06:52,968 --> 01:06:56,456
will be listing out here shortly. But I

1119
01:06:56,528 --> 01:06:59,720
really want to know what your opinion is on this,

1120
01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:03,752
because I know what our opinion is, and obviously, as you just heard,

1121
01:07:03,816 --> 01:07:07,938
it differs. I want to know what you think. Is it okay to reach

1122
01:07:07,994 --> 01:07:12,274
out to the, the non lifestylers?

1123
01:07:12,322 --> 01:07:16,242
The vanilla world is. Would it be fine or do

1124
01:07:16,266 --> 01:07:19,570
you like to stay inside your community? Reach out

1125
01:07:19,610 --> 01:07:22,866
to us. We've got a lot of social media. We've got our email address.

1126
01:07:22,938 --> 01:07:26,002
You. We've got a lot of different ways that you can reach out to us,

1127
01:07:26,106 --> 01:07:29,602
but I really do want to hear from you. Okay,

1128
01:07:29,666 --> 01:07:34,790
so our social medias, we are on Instagram.

1129
01:07:35,210 --> 01:07:38,882
I gotta find that one. But we are on TikTok

1130
01:07:38,946 --> 01:07:43,218
and we do beyond underscore monogamy. Underscore life,

1131
01:07:43,354 --> 01:07:47,138
the number two. And we

1132
01:07:47,194 --> 01:07:50,310
have a Facebook. Is it pages.

1133
01:07:50,650 --> 01:07:54,402
Yeah. So our Facebook page is beyond monogamy with Adam and

1134
01:07:54,426 --> 01:07:57,682
Pris. And that's the same thing for Instagram. And that's the

1135
01:07:57,706 --> 01:08:01,538
same thing for Instagram. You know, we. We are on all of those

1136
01:08:01,674 --> 01:08:05,350
channels. You can shoot us a message.

1137
01:08:06,330 --> 01:08:09,970
You can pretty much reach out to us any other way. We also have an

1138
01:08:10,010 --> 01:08:13,842
email beyond monogamy4umail.com

1139
01:08:13,946 --> 01:08:17,778
youm can email us at any time. And, you know, we. We really want

1140
01:08:17,834 --> 01:08:21,554
to hear from you. We want to know what you think about

1141
01:08:21,642 --> 01:08:25,116
this particular subject. So it's

1142
01:08:25,148 --> 01:08:28,764
important that. That you reach out to us and let us know what you think.

1143
01:08:28,932 --> 01:08:32,188
Anyhow, I appreciate you guys listening to our show,

1144
01:08:32,244 --> 01:08:35,532
our banter. We're just working on our relationship and

1145
01:08:35,556 --> 01:08:38,332
you guys are just coming along for the ride. And look where we've gotten.

1146
01:08:38,396 --> 01:08:41,452
Look where we've gotten. Isn't that great? I love you. I love you too,

1147
01:08:41,476 --> 01:08:45,260
sweetheart. You're the best. You are the best. So with that,

1148
01:08:45,300 --> 01:08:48,156
guys, we're going to go ahead and sign off. We appreciate you guys always tuning

1149
01:08:48,188 --> 01:08:51,498
in. We appreciate the love and support that you guys show. Show us.

1150
01:08:51,634 --> 01:08:55,642
Y'all have been amazing and we. We appreciate you

1151
01:08:55,666 --> 01:08:59,034
guys coming along for the ride. With that, we're going

1152
01:08:59,042 --> 01:09:02,218
to go ahead and say see you later. We will see you guys

1153
01:09:02,394 --> 01:09:03,242
next week.