Feb. 25, 2026

Judged for Ethical Non-Monogamy? How to Handle Critics, Bullies & Moral Authority

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Judged for Ethical Non-Monogamy? How to Handle Critics, Bullies & Moral Authority

Ever been told your relationship “isn’t real love”?

Ever had someone look at ethical non-monogamy and decide they’re suddenly the moral authority over your life?

Yeah. Same.

In this QUICKIE episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we’re diving into something nobody talks about enough — the judgment that comes from outside the lifestyle… and sometimes even inside it.

From preachy YouTube comments to family backlash, from internet trolls to real-life bullies, we’re unpacking:

Why people feel superior about monogamy
Why ENM triggers others so deeply
How to respond without losing your mind
Why judgment is usually projection
What to say when someone brings up your sex life at work
And why living your truth will ALWAYS make someone uncomfortable

We share personal stories about coming out as poly, losing friends and family, dealing with pushy red flags in the lifestyle, and how jealousy, shame, and conditioning shape the way people react to consensual non-monogamy.

This episode isn’t about attacking monogamy.

It’s about standing firm in YOUR relationship choices.

Because here’s the truth: You can live your life exactly the way someone thinks you should… and they’ll still judge you.

So you might as well live it on your terms.

If you're navigating stigma around swinging, polyamory, open relationships, or ethical non-monogamy — this one is for you.

👉 Follow the show on Spotify
👉 Leave a review
👉 Visit us at www.beyond-monogamy.com

We’ve got blogs, events, webinars, anonymous confessionals, and ways to connect with our growing community.

And remember — nobody outside your relationship gets to define it.

Spotify podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconPandora podcast player iconiHeartRadio podcast player iconYouTube podcast player icon
Spotify podcast player iconApple Podcasts podcast player iconAmazon Music podcast player iconPandora podcast player iconiHeartRadio podcast player iconYouTube podcast player icon

Ever been told your relationship “isn’t real love”?

Ever had someone look at ethical non-monogamy and decide they’re suddenly the moral authority over your life?

Yeah. Same.

In this QUICKIE episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we’re diving into something nobody talks about enough — the judgment that comes from outside the lifestyle… and sometimes even inside it.

From preachy YouTube comments to family backlash, from internet trolls to real-life bullies, we’re unpacking:

  • Why people feel superior about monogamy
  • Why ENM triggers others so deeply
  • How to respond without losing your mind
  • Why judgment is usually projection
  • What to say when someone brings up your sex life at work
  • And why living your truth will ALWAYS make someone uncomfortable

We share personal stories about coming out as poly, losing friends and family, dealing with pushy red flags in the lifestyle, and how jealousy, shame, and conditioning shape the way people react to consensual non-monogamy.

This episode isn’t about attacking monogamy.

It’s about standing firm in YOUR relationship choices.

Because here’s the truth: You can live your life exactly the way someone thinks you should… and they’ll still judge you.

So you might as well live it on your terms.

If you're navigating stigma around swinging, polyamory, open relationships, or ethical non-monogamy — this one is for you.

👉 Follow the show on Spotify
👉 Leave a review
👉 Visit us at www.beyond-monogamy.com

We’ve got blogs, events, webinars, anonymous confessionals, and ways to connect with our growing community.

And remember — nobody outside your relationship gets to define it.

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Alright y'all, before we
dive in, a quick heads up.

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00:00:11,164 --> 00:00:14,134
This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated pg.

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00:00:14,944 --> 00:00:19,684
We're talking about adult themes, sexual
content, and the kind of stuff you

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00:00:19,684 --> 00:00:24,034
probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kits.

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00:00:24,634 --> 00:00:28,504
So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice and get comfy.

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00:00:28,804 --> 00:00:35,014
Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not
licensed therapists, counselors, or sex.

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00:00:35,434 --> 00:00:36,244
Couches.

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00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,164
Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches,

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00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,384
not sex couches

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or just a couple of people sharing our
lives, experiences and sexy adventures.

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00:00:45,234 --> 00:00:47,124
An ethical non-monogamy.

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00:00:47,394 --> 00:00:51,644
So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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00:00:51,644 --> 00:00:51,734
And.

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00:00:52,134 --> 00:00:54,874
Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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00:00:55,114 --> 00:00:55,564
I'm Adam,

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00:00:55,774 --> 00:00:56,494
and I'm Pris.

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00:00:57,034 --> 00:01:00,094
And today we're coming in hot
with a quickie episode because

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00:01:00,244 --> 00:01:01,564
apparently the internet.

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00:01:02,509 --> 00:01:08,059
And society still have a lot of opinions
about how we should be living our lives.

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00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:08,569
Yeah.

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00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,669
Today we're talking about
something we see all the time.

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People outside the lifestyle judging
us, assuming they understand ethical

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non-monogamy, and acting like
they're the moral authority on what

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relationships are supposed to look like.

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Look, this isn't a rant epi.

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Well, okay.

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Maybe it's a little bit of a rant episode.

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Mm-hmm.

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But it's really about understanding
why the judgment happens, how to

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handle it without losing your shit,
and why their discomfort doesn't

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mean you're doing anything wrong.

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00:01:37,624 --> 00:01:37,834
Yeah.

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So if you've ever had someone say, I could
never do that, or That's not real love,

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or my absolute favorite, that never ends.

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Well, yeah.

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This one's for you.

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Yeah.

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00:01:49,489 --> 00:01:52,579
Well, before we jump in, make sure
you follow the podcast wherever you're

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00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:56,509
listening, especially on Spotify, you
guys, and check out everything that

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we've got going on@beyondmonogamy.com,
including events, webinars, and

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00:02:01,759 --> 00:02:03,679
ways to connect with our community.

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'cause it's a rather large community.

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It's,

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00:02:06,199 --> 00:02:06,469
yeah.

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So we're gonna jump into this because,
you know, I gotta, I gotta tell you

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this, uh, this kind of hit me today.

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I, there was a comment.

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00:02:13,479 --> 00:02:16,479
On our YouTube today, and this is
why we're talking about this today.

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00:02:16,764 --> 00:02:17,844
There's a comment on our YouTube today.

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There's always a comment on

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our YouTube.

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And it was on our parenting episode.

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And this person decided to get very
preachy and shaming me and shaming

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00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:35,709
us about uh, you know, having us
not basically she was saying that we

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were bad parents because we weren't.

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Only solely with each other.

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Oh,

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that made us bad parents.

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Yeah.

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No, she got cheated on.

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But you know, it's these people with the,
they feel like they're the moral authority

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on telling others how to live their lives,
and frankly, I'm fucking sick of it.

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And so, yeah, I typed
back a little comment.

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I, I said, I said a few things.

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Now I, I do not fight back.

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I really, really do my best not to.

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I do the fighting.

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I, I don't like conflict if I can avoid
it, because frankly, a good portion

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00:03:08,934 --> 00:03:14,844
of my youth, I was pissed off all the
time and I got into a lot of shit.

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00:03:15,024 --> 00:03:15,234
Mm-hmm.

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And I was not a very friendly person.

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I don't want to become that person again.

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Yeah.

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And so I do my best to
stay away from conflict.

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That's why everything is love
and happy and roses, blah.

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I love it.

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00:03:27,864 --> 00:03:32,844
But every now and then I
see, you know, comments and

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I, I,

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the space isn't

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real.

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I'm glad that you didn't tell me.

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'cause one, I don't feel good.

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I would've gone off on her

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probably,

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but I don't I can't stand
judgy people like that.

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Oh, man.

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It, it's,

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I mean, you, I

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can't either.

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Society has raised us to be monogamous.

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That's just the way it is.

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And you know, I mean, if you really wanna
delve deep, which we're not, and you're

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all religious, go read the Bible again.

95
00:03:58,619 --> 00:04:01,199
Like if that's where you
wanna go, go read it again.

96
00:04:01,769 --> 00:04:05,369
Like it's not even that,
or especially like.

97
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Traditions.

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00:04:06,584 --> 00:04:07,004
Right.

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00:04:07,054 --> 00:04:10,864
Latinos and act actually
every tradition, but I'm just

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specifically telling you about mine.

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00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:14,044
You were raised not to get divorced.

102
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You were raised to be with one person.

103
00:04:15,574 --> 00:04:15,634
Yeah.

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00:04:16,054 --> 00:04:19,894
I mean, it's just, it's, you
know, it's the stereotypical you

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heavy duty cancer.

106
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Yeah.

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00:04:21,634 --> 00:04:23,464
Shouldn't be with the, your same gender.

108
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,764
You shouldn't have sex before marriage.

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Just all those things
that were given to us.

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I mean, people.

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Be realistic.

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And monogamy is everywhere.

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Monogamy is everywhere.

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And

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people seem to feel superior.

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No.

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Uh, at the fact that they're
monogamous and they feel like

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everybody who isn't is, is just bad.

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Just bad

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is bad.

121
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Just bad at everything.

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That person doesn't realize what a

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great

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parent we are.

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There's parents, we are, you
know, it's a, it's a damn shame.

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Yeah.

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00:04:51,004 --> 00:04:56,454
Uh, but, uh, yeah, this person
took time out of their day to

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put this judgmental comment.

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00:04:59,219 --> 00:05:02,489
Normally I would let it
kind of roll off my back.

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00:05:02,489 --> 00:05:04,169
I would just leave it be, yeah.

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00:05:04,199 --> 00:05:07,579
Um, I kind of fought back on
this one, and I'll tell you why.

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00:05:08,079 --> 00:05:13,329
We have a lot of people who
are new into the lifestyle,

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00:05:13,359 --> 00:05:15,549
who reach out to us oftentimes.

134
00:05:15,609 --> 00:05:15,729
Mm-hmm.

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00:05:16,069 --> 00:05:19,609
Who want to explore the lifestyle,
and I hear it all the time.

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00:05:20,239 --> 00:05:24,929
These people, they're very,
very scared to be able to.

137
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Explore the lifestyle and do these
things because they're afraid of, of

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what will happen if it's found out.

139
00:05:32,769 --> 00:05:33,279
Of course.

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00:05:33,309 --> 00:05:33,699
Right.

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00:05:34,239 --> 00:05:35,559
Uh, because what's gonna happen,

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you feel very, you feel very shameful.

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00:05:37,239 --> 00:05:40,739
You feel very you feel less than,
you feel like you did something

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00:05:40,739 --> 00:05:42,164
really, really, really wrong.

145
00:05:42,169 --> 00:05:42,274
Yeah.

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00:05:42,274 --> 00:05:45,299
And everybody around you
does a good job of making

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you feel that way.

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00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:46,939
Making you feel that way.

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00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:48,089
Unfortunately.

150
00:05:48,239 --> 00:05:48,569
Yeah.

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00:05:48,689 --> 00:05:52,469
The world that we live in,
the way we were raised,

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the world we live in.

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00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:53,369
Yeah.

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00:05:53,429 --> 00:05:54,329
I mean, it is.

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It's the world that we live in and
this is not like just starting.

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People have been shamed for so
many things for so long, especially

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00:06:00,379 --> 00:06:01,454
in relationships that, yeah.

158
00:06:01,954 --> 00:06:03,394
It's the world that we freaking live in.

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00:06:03,484 --> 00:06:03,814
Yeah.

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00:06:03,994 --> 00:06:04,294
Yeah.

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00:06:04,294 --> 00:06:06,514
I mean, and it's gotten a lot better.

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00:06:06,514 --> 00:06:10,234
I will say that the, the, because
the community has become larger.

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00:06:10,564 --> 00:06:10,714
Mm-hmm.

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00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:14,614
And, uh, you know, a lot of this stuff
is becoming more and more mainstream.

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00:06:14,614 --> 00:06:16,684
It's not fully mainstream,
but it's becoming that way.

166
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Yeah.

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Uh, and the conversations are being had.

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00:06:19,624 --> 00:06:19,714
Yes.

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00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:20,794
Which I think is great.

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00:06:20,974 --> 00:06:21,154
Yeah.

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00:06:21,554 --> 00:06:24,464
But you know, there's just something.

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About a bully that fucking triggers me.

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And I, like I said, I'm a very

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00:06:30,464 --> 00:06:30,674
same,

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00:06:30,884 --> 00:06:34,694
very happy person all the time,
but the moment I see a bully,

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00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:39,314
same, uh, I turn into a person
that I am not the proudest of.

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00:06:39,344 --> 00:06:39,434
Mm-hmm.

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00:06:39,854 --> 00:06:42,284
Uh, but I handle, I handle that shit.

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00:06:42,624 --> 00:06:43,824
And I, I don't.

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00:06:44,324 --> 00:06:47,774
I'm lucky that it doesn't
really cross my path very often.

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00:06:47,894 --> 00:06:48,284
Yeah.

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00:06:48,344 --> 00:06:50,984
Uh, now I will say that I've
gotten better regarding social

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00:06:50,984 --> 00:06:54,344
media because like I said, social
media is not even fucking real.

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00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:58,334
Uh, it's, it's a place where
everybody thinks they have a voice

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00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,744
and people will say whatever.

186
00:07:00,524 --> 00:07:02,354
A lot of times it's just a troll.

187
00:07:02,354 --> 00:07:02,384
Yeah.

188
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You know what I mean?

189
00:07:03,314 --> 00:07:03,374
Yeah.

190
00:07:04,034 --> 00:07:08,384
But it's the judgment from.

191
00:07:08,969 --> 00:07:11,639
Everyone outside of that community.

192
00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:12,419
Yes.

193
00:07:12,629 --> 00:07:13,949
I mean, we experienced it.

194
00:07:14,189 --> 00:07:14,399
Yeah.

195
00:07:14,404 --> 00:07:15,114
When, when we came

196
00:07:15,114 --> 00:07:15,314
out,

197
00:07:15,479 --> 00:07:19,229
I had friends and family and Yeah.

198
00:07:19,469 --> 00:07:21,509
I had a lot of people just judge me.

199
00:07:22,319 --> 00:07:25,029
I had ex-partners judge me.

200
00:07:25,839 --> 00:07:26,139
Yeah.

201
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:30,699
It, it, I was drug
through the mud for sure.

202
00:07:31,269 --> 00:07:33,099
Um, regarding my lifestyle.

203
00:07:33,339 --> 00:07:34,389
Oh, you know, for

204
00:07:34,389 --> 00:07:34,629
sure.

205
00:07:34,629 --> 00:07:34,689
It,

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00:07:34,689 --> 00:07:35,439
it was.

207
00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:37,529
You and me both.

208
00:07:37,529 --> 00:07:37,589
Yeah.

209
00:07:37,739 --> 00:07:40,349
And I got drug in, in
both of our families.

210
00:07:40,379 --> 00:07:40,739
Yeah.

211
00:07:40,799 --> 00:07:41,759
Uh, through the mud.

212
00:07:41,759 --> 00:07:45,809
I mean, your, your family started
claiming that I was having sex with

213
00:07:45,809 --> 00:07:47,549
men while wearing weird costumes.

214
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:47,824
Yeah.

215
00:07:48,239 --> 00:07:48,509
Yeah.

216
00:07:48,539 --> 00:07:49,259
What the fuck?

217
00:07:49,264 --> 00:07:49,424
Yeah.

218
00:07:49,454 --> 00:07:50,624
Like what a,

219
00:07:50,764 --> 00:07:51,584
but they're like, that, that,

220
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:52,649
you know what I mean?

221
00:07:52,649 --> 00:07:53,069
Like that.

222
00:07:53,069 --> 00:07:55,499
And that was the, the lie
that was spread about me.

223
00:07:55,499 --> 00:07:55,559
Yeah.

224
00:07:55,619 --> 00:07:56,639
On, on that side.

225
00:07:57,179 --> 00:08:00,659
Uh, you know, on my own
side, uh, Lord knows what was

226
00:08:00,659 --> 00:08:02,219
said, which is funny because.

227
00:08:02,924 --> 00:08:04,064
Family full of cheaters.

228
00:08:04,064 --> 00:08:04,124
Ugh.

229
00:08:05,054 --> 00:08:06,104
You know, whatcha gonna do

230
00:08:06,794 --> 00:08:06,974
Same.

231
00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,144
They're gonna judge, right?

232
00:08:08,144 --> 00:08:08,204
Yeah.

233
00:08:08,624 --> 00:08:11,054
They're gonna judge because
that's how we were raised.

234
00:08:11,114 --> 00:08:11,204
Mm-hmm.

235
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:16,814
Uh, we were raised to judge others for,
you know, whatever, whatever we can.

236
00:08:16,874 --> 00:08:16,964
Mm-hmm.

237
00:08:17,924 --> 00:08:21,374
And you and I, we seem to really break
the mold except for right now, where

238
00:08:21,374 --> 00:08:22,754
we're judging the people who judge us.

239
00:08:23,254 --> 00:08:25,504
I am a very judgy person.

240
00:08:26,314 --> 00:08:28,324
I am not one, I'm not too proud.

241
00:08:28,324 --> 00:08:30,184
I am a very judgy person.

242
00:08:30,184 --> 00:08:30,784
I will.

243
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,649
Sit with my daughter and we'd
be judging people and she's

244
00:08:33,649 --> 00:08:34,939
like, mom, stop judging people.

245
00:08:35,149 --> 00:08:37,069
I'm like, I know I shouldn't, but I do.

246
00:08:37,489 --> 00:08:38,944
Um, I don't, I don't.

247
00:08:39,654 --> 00:08:41,274
It's between me and whomever.

248
00:08:41,274 --> 00:08:44,184
Like I'm not out there
like in the world judging.

249
00:08:44,334 --> 00:08:45,804
I mean, sometimes I'm,
but it just depends.

250
00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:47,634
Just depends who it is.

251
00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:48,054
Okay.

252
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:49,584
Depends what you're doing.

253
00:08:49,884 --> 00:08:51,354
Um, but I don't judge my friends.

254
00:08:51,354 --> 00:08:53,814
I don't, you know, I rarely judge people.

255
00:08:54,114 --> 00:08:56,124
Actually, I've never judged
anybody in the lifestyle.

256
00:08:56,124 --> 00:08:56,814
I will tell you that.

257
00:08:56,814 --> 00:08:56,824
Yeah.

258
00:08:57,294 --> 00:08:58,974
I judge people who I do not know.

259
00:08:59,304 --> 00:08:59,394
Yeah.

260
00:08:59,394 --> 00:09:01,194
It's not people that I know, so, yeah.

261
00:09:01,194 --> 00:09:01,464
But yeah.

262
00:09:02,199 --> 00:09:02,889
I'm very judgy.

263
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:03,489
Sorry, people.

264
00:09:03,699 --> 00:09:05,499
And you know, I'm, I'm usually not.

265
00:09:05,529 --> 00:09:05,949
You're not?

266
00:09:06,249 --> 00:09:06,909
No, I'm usually not.

267
00:09:06,909 --> 00:09:06,969
No.

268
00:09:06,969 --> 00:09:08,289
I give everybody the benefit of the

269
00:09:08,409 --> 00:09:08,529
doubt.

270
00:09:08,529 --> 00:09:12,009
I, I can guarantee you never
are like, I can vouch for you,

271
00:09:12,069 --> 00:09:16,839
but I, I will say that I, if there's
anything that brings out a very,

272
00:09:16,839 --> 00:09:19,599
very not good sign of me mm-hmm.

273
00:09:19,839 --> 00:09:20,949
It's, it's bullies.

274
00:09:21,009 --> 00:09:21,279
Mm-hmm.

275
00:09:21,339 --> 00:09:23,379
Uh, and we've run across them in.

276
00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:25,949
Pretty much every sense of the word.

277
00:09:26,129 --> 00:09:26,219
Mm-hmm.

278
00:09:26,579 --> 00:09:27,959
In this lifestyle.

279
00:09:27,964 --> 00:09:28,204
Mm-hmm.

280
00:09:28,464 --> 00:09:32,009
And I think that there's several
people who have been seasoned in

281
00:09:32,009 --> 00:09:33,329
this lifestyle who have seen it.

282
00:09:33,704 --> 00:09:33,989
Oh yeah.

283
00:09:33,989 --> 00:09:35,369
Maybe felt it.

284
00:09:35,579 --> 00:09:35,819
Yeah.

285
00:09:36,329 --> 00:09:36,599
Um,

286
00:09:36,599 --> 00:09:39,239
I mean, to be honest, there's
bullies in the lifestyle.

287
00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:39,959
Yeah.

288
00:09:40,499 --> 00:09:40,679
Like.

289
00:09:41,654 --> 00:09:44,174
I have called out a
bully in the lifestyle.

290
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:44,654
Yeah.

291
00:09:44,864 --> 00:09:49,184
Like they are in the lifestyle and it is
what it is, but it's for other reasons.

292
00:09:49,364 --> 00:09:51,824
Some people like popularity
and whatever, but Yeah.

293
00:09:51,854 --> 00:09:54,074
You know, everybody's
got different reasons.

294
00:09:54,074 --> 00:09:54,134
Yeah.

295
00:09:54,434 --> 00:09:59,894
And you know what sucks is, you
know, I, I just figure that you

296
00:09:59,894 --> 00:10:02,834
know, most times people are jealous.

297
00:10:03,334 --> 00:10:03,694
And, and for

298
00:10:03,699 --> 00:10:03,994
sure,

299
00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:06,304
and I'm not even talking
about in the lifestyle.

300
00:10:06,309 --> 00:10:09,364
I'm, I'm going back to the people who
are outside, outside of the lifestyle

301
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,084
for sure.

302
00:10:10,114 --> 00:10:13,849
Um, most of these people who
like to bully people mm-hmm.

303
00:10:13,849 --> 00:10:14,489
Like us mm-hmm.

304
00:10:14,494 --> 00:10:16,114
Who are living our life happy.

305
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:17,074
Mm-hmm.

306
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,944
Most of the time they're just jealous of
the fact that we're living a happy life.

307
00:10:21,004 --> 00:10:21,184
Yeah.

308
00:10:21,244 --> 00:10:23,464
We have a very strong relationship.

309
00:10:23,469 --> 00:10:23,569
Mm-hmm.

310
00:10:24,129 --> 00:10:27,874
And we get to partake in
this other side that isn't

311
00:10:27,964 --> 00:10:28,084
mm-hmm.

312
00:10:28,474 --> 00:10:30,124
That they can't obviously

313
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:30,309
No.

314
00:10:30,979 --> 00:10:31,459
They can't.

315
00:10:31,609 --> 00:10:34,689
And if they do, they're doing
it unethically, you know?

316
00:10:35,439 --> 00:10:38,429
And I mean, people really
do confuse like what we do.

317
00:10:38,669 --> 00:10:39,509
It's different.

318
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:40,619
It's not wrong.

319
00:10:40,919 --> 00:10:41,669
It's just different.

320
00:10:41,699 --> 00:10:42,569
It's just different.

321
00:10:42,574 --> 00:10:43,034
Just different.

322
00:10:43,034 --> 00:10:44,129
And it's not for everybody.

323
00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:45,539
It's not hurting anybody.

324
00:10:46,019 --> 00:10:51,079
You know, it's funny is, is uh, the
content that I put out and the content

325
00:10:51,079 --> 00:10:56,299
that we put out with the podcast
it's more of a. Having a conversation

326
00:10:56,299 --> 00:10:58,129
with my wife about our experiences.

327
00:10:58,129 --> 00:10:58,219
Mm-hmm.

328
00:10:58,454 --> 00:11:01,759
And we're talking about
this very large arena.

329
00:11:01,849 --> 00:11:02,059
Mm-hmm.

330
00:11:02,389 --> 00:11:06,379
But what I don't understand is, you
know, we're not, we're not pushing it

331
00:11:06,379 --> 00:11:12,859
on people, but people from the outside
will come in and go, well, how dare you

332
00:11:12,864 --> 00:11:14,359
live like this and this sort of thing.

333
00:11:14,359 --> 00:11:16,269
It's like, well, how dare me?

334
00:11:16,779 --> 00:11:17,559
How dare you?

335
00:11:17,739 --> 00:11:20,469
Like what, what are you
even, who even are you?

336
00:11:20,969 --> 00:11:22,469
Who even the fuck are you?

337
00:11:22,529 --> 00:11:22,859
I mean,

338
00:11:22,859 --> 00:11:25,199
like where, what street
did you walk off of?

339
00:11:25,289 --> 00:11:25,409
Yeah.

340
00:11:25,409 --> 00:11:30,269
Because, uh, you're a crockpot, you feel
like it's okay to say whatever you want

341
00:11:30,269 --> 00:11:34,379
to people online and it is not okay bro.

342
00:11:34,384 --> 00:11:34,864
It's not okay.

343
00:11:34,864 --> 00:11:36,304
And sis is, it's not okay.

344
00:11:36,689 --> 00:11:37,739
It is not okay.

345
00:11:37,769 --> 00:11:38,219
No.

346
00:11:38,339 --> 00:11:42,229
You know, I'm a, a big believer
that we treat everybody with

347
00:11:42,229 --> 00:11:44,839
respect whether you know 'em or not.

348
00:11:44,869 --> 00:11:47,989
You just give them that
respect until they, you know.

349
00:11:48,514 --> 00:11:49,924
Push it to where you shouldn't.

350
00:11:49,924 --> 00:11:50,584
I agree.

351
00:11:50,764 --> 00:11:54,664
Um, and I feel like that's
a really good rule of thumb.

352
00:11:55,354 --> 00:11:58,974
And it's not only should it be
applied to the lifestyle, it

353
00:11:58,974 --> 00:12:00,804
should be just applied in life

354
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:01,554
in general.

355
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:01,734
Yeah.

356
00:12:01,734 --> 00:12:02,484
Just in general.

357
00:12:02,484 --> 00:12:02,574
Mm-hmm.

358
00:12:02,574 --> 00:12:03,264
100%.

359
00:12:03,414 --> 00:12:03,504
Mm-hmm.

360
00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:07,479
But definitely in the lifestyle
guys, it definitely helps.

361
00:12:07,479 --> 00:12:09,999
I mean, it's, it, it challenges
every single thing they

362
00:12:09,999 --> 00:12:10,989
believe about relationships.

363
00:12:11,489 --> 00:12:13,379
Um, like I said, it's
what we're raised in.

364
00:12:13,379 --> 00:12:18,229
It's what the society, it's what
the world, I mean, L-G-B-T-Q.

365
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,809
We've been fighting that fight for years,

366
00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:21,379
a very

367
00:12:21,379 --> 00:12:22,099
long time.

368
00:12:22,099 --> 00:12:25,959
Years, man, and there's so many
people that don't agree with it.

369
00:12:26,769 --> 00:12:30,579
Who gives a shit, it doesn't affect you.

370
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:32,379
Get over it.

371
00:12:32,829 --> 00:12:33,129
Yeah,

372
00:12:33,279 --> 00:12:34,569
like get over it.

373
00:12:34,569 --> 00:12:38,589
If it doesn't affect you one bit,
it's not affecting anybody around you.

374
00:12:38,949 --> 00:12:39,549
Get over it.

375
00:12:39,819 --> 00:12:40,449
Get over it.

376
00:12:40,449 --> 00:12:46,899
I mean, especially us,
we put our children first

377
00:12:47,109 --> 00:12:47,679
all the time.

378
00:12:47,739 --> 00:12:48,849
They don't even know us.

379
00:12:48,849 --> 00:12:49,899
Don't even judge us.

380
00:12:49,904 --> 00:12:50,044
Yeah.

381
00:12:50,544 --> 00:12:50,784
Fuckers.

382
00:12:51,284 --> 00:12:51,704
Yeah.

383
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:52,724
Damn right.

384
00:12:52,994 --> 00:12:53,354
Yes.

385
00:12:53,354 --> 00:12:54,044
I second that.

386
00:12:54,914 --> 00:12:55,694
I second that.

387
00:12:56,084 --> 00:12:56,324
Yeah.

388
00:12:56,324 --> 00:13:00,974
So as you can see to all of
those people who are maybe newer

389
00:13:00,974 --> 00:13:02,924
and you know, haven't dealt.

390
00:13:03,464 --> 00:13:07,694
With this sort of pressure from the
outside, but you know, I, I'm telling

391
00:13:07,694 --> 00:13:12,944
you now, expect it, uh, if it, if it
ever comes out, it, that's the kind

392
00:13:12,944 --> 00:13:14,564
of attitude that's had out there.

393
00:13:14,774 --> 00:13:15,074
Yeah.

394
00:13:15,204 --> 00:13:18,954
It's not a very loving one,
you know, it's, it's the, the

395
00:13:18,954 --> 00:13:20,844
ugly side of things, frankly.

396
00:13:20,904 --> 00:13:20,994
Mm-hmm.

397
00:13:21,354 --> 00:13:21,829
The fact.

398
00:13:22,749 --> 00:13:27,939
You know, I'll be very honest with you,
we both had our families and when we

399
00:13:27,969 --> 00:13:32,139
came out as poly, 'cause we didn't come
out as, as we were swingers before that.

400
00:13:32,859 --> 00:13:37,779
But when we came out as Poly and
Chris came out as bisexual, that's

401
00:13:37,779 --> 00:13:40,959
when we lost a lot of these people.

402
00:13:40,959 --> 00:13:40,969
Mm-hmm.

403
00:13:40,984 --> 00:13:41,144
Who

404
00:13:41,439 --> 00:13:42,549
were family members.

405
00:13:42,549 --> 00:13:46,149
Now the people that stuck
by us, those were the people

406
00:13:46,149 --> 00:13:47,349
and, and they were friends.

407
00:13:47,709 --> 00:13:48,699
We lost a lot of friends.

408
00:13:49,359 --> 00:13:51,579
There was a lot of
people that stuck by us.

409
00:13:51,639 --> 00:13:51,879
Mm-hmm.

410
00:13:52,539 --> 00:13:55,359
Um, and those were the
people that we really valued.

411
00:13:55,359 --> 00:13:56,619
Those were the people that we still

412
00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:56,919
mm-hmm.

413
00:13:57,339 --> 00:13:58,779
Uh, highly regard.

414
00:13:58,959 --> 00:13:59,109
Mm-hmm.

415
00:13:59,829 --> 00:14:06,599
Um, it's kind of like the toxic people,
just, it's, it's a cleansing Yeah.

416
00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:07,634
When it's found out.

417
00:14:07,864 --> 00:14:08,154
Yeah.

418
00:14:08,464 --> 00:14:10,354
Like it's, uh, you just.

419
00:14:10,949 --> 00:14:12,239
Get rid of the negativity.

420
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:12,779
Yeah.

421
00:14:12,784 --> 00:14:13,074
Yeah.

422
00:14:13,079 --> 00:14:15,269
Um, and of course sometimes
they're just strangers.

423
00:14:15,269 --> 00:14:17,849
They're just people that are,
just have nothing better to do.

424
00:14:17,849 --> 00:14:23,369
And you can choose to ignore it or
you can choose to partake in telling

425
00:14:23,369 --> 00:14:26,639
them off, which I would totally do.

426
00:14:27,119 --> 00:14:27,449
Yeah.

427
00:14:27,569 --> 00:14:29,399
Well, you know, we handle
things differently,

428
00:14:29,759 --> 00:14:30,209
but yeah.

429
00:14:30,209 --> 00:14:34,009
On the average, who are the, take
it like a grain of salt, guys.

430
00:14:34,009 --> 00:14:34,909
Like it's gonna come.

431
00:14:35,329 --> 00:14:36,559
Do what you will with it, but

432
00:14:36,799 --> 00:14:37,129
Yeah.

433
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:37,909
Yeah.

434
00:14:37,909 --> 00:14:39,709
They're just projecting on the, on you.

435
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:40,279
Yeah.

436
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:45,079
And you know, really it, like I said,
it's, it's really usually not about you.

437
00:14:45,109 --> 00:14:45,379
Yeah.

438
00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:49,129
Like this person, whatever
they're going through.

439
00:14:49,159 --> 00:14:49,339
Yeah.

440
00:14:50,029 --> 00:14:52,609
And I always try to keep that
in mind whenever I deal with

441
00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:54,679
somebody who's rather difficult.

442
00:14:55,129 --> 00:14:55,459
Yeah.

443
00:14:55,669 --> 00:14:58,759
I always think whatev, whatever
this person's going through

444
00:14:58,759 --> 00:15:00,649
right now, it's gotta be major.

445
00:15:01,149 --> 00:15:05,349
That they felt the need to
see this and respond to it

446
00:15:05,354 --> 00:15:05,514
mm-hmm.

447
00:15:05,734 --> 00:15:06,674
The way they responded.

448
00:15:06,674 --> 00:15:06,954
Mm-hmm.

449
00:15:07,719 --> 00:15:11,019
Um, that that is a person that
most likely needs to get laid.

450
00:15:11,019 --> 00:15:11,079
Yeah.

451
00:15:11,499 --> 00:15:15,909
But either way, I mean, they,
they have their, their hand

452
00:15:15,939 --> 00:15:17,614
in their beliefs and Yeah.

453
00:15:17,619 --> 00:15:18,849
And this sort of thing.

454
00:15:18,909 --> 00:15:20,109
And hey, you know what?

455
00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:24,049
Good for you but have some respect.

456
00:15:24,259 --> 00:15:24,349
Yeah.

457
00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:26,764
Don't push it on other people.

458
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,594
Do not push it on other people.

459
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:28,924
Yeah.

460
00:15:29,134 --> 00:15:29,464
Yeah.

461
00:15:29,944 --> 00:15:32,064
But I don't think it was about me.

462
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:32,754
How about that?

463
00:15:32,814 --> 00:15:33,774
I, it wasn't baby.

464
00:15:33,954 --> 00:15:34,014
Yeah.

465
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,274
It wasn't about you at all.

466
00:15:35,274 --> 00:15:35,304
I

467
00:15:35,459 --> 00:15:35,819
don't think so.

468
00:15:35,849 --> 00:15:36,139
Yeah.

469
00:15:36,189 --> 00:15:37,779
Don't, so they just want Don't think so.

470
00:15:38,244 --> 00:15:39,444
They just had nothing else to do.

471
00:15:39,654 --> 00:15:39,714
Yeah.

472
00:15:39,714 --> 00:15:40,884
Maybe they run out of coffee.

473
00:15:41,334 --> 00:15:42,294
Oh man.

474
00:15:42,324 --> 00:15:43,614
Maybe they stu their toe.

475
00:15:44,574 --> 00:15:45,504
If not, I hope they do.

476
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:45,924
Yeah.

477
00:15:46,424 --> 00:15:48,944
There's one thing that people.

478
00:15:49,874 --> 00:15:51,044
Seem to think about.

479
00:15:51,044 --> 00:15:56,674
It's like I said, they feel
like monogamy is the superior.

480
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,204
It's like the superior brand.

481
00:15:58,234 --> 00:15:58,294
Yeah.

482
00:15:59,014 --> 00:16:02,674
So if you're not monogamous,
then maybe you're,

483
00:16:02,679 --> 00:16:03,454
you're less than,

484
00:16:03,634 --> 00:16:03,964
yeah.

485
00:16:04,204 --> 00:16:06,214
Like you're less than,
like, you're not important.

486
00:16:07,114 --> 00:16:07,364
Pretty much.

487
00:16:07,984 --> 00:16:11,134
I mean, who even said thinks that?

488
00:16:11,134 --> 00:16:11,194
Yeah.

489
00:16:11,254 --> 00:16:14,334
Like that's the most
ridiculous thought ever.

490
00:16:14,754 --> 00:16:14,904
Yeah.

491
00:16:15,084 --> 00:16:16,854
And like what about.

492
00:16:17,354 --> 00:16:21,364
An ethical non-monogamy
relationship is so bad.

493
00:16:21,864 --> 00:16:25,254
Like what is so bad that
you're sharing your partner?

494
00:16:25,754 --> 00:16:26,684
You don't own him.

495
00:16:26,774 --> 00:16:28,034
You don't, she doesn't,
you know, it's like,

496
00:16:28,064 --> 00:16:28,154
no,

497
00:16:28,394 --> 00:16:32,744
we, we, yes, we made a vow and we
are very devoted to each other.

498
00:16:32,749 --> 00:16:35,324
Our relationship comes first.

499
00:16:35,834 --> 00:16:37,634
Our relationship comes first.

500
00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:40,024
Everything else is down the line.

501
00:16:40,524 --> 00:16:40,824
Yeah.

502
00:16:40,884 --> 00:16:41,034
Like.

503
00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:46,559
You know, it's not, we're, we're
in a relationship together.

504
00:16:46,559 --> 00:16:48,269
We raise a family together.

505
00:16:48,269 --> 00:16:49,169
We love each other.

506
00:16:49,829 --> 00:16:51,779
What about that is so wrong?

507
00:16:52,499 --> 00:16:53,129
I don't get it.

508
00:16:53,819 --> 00:16:54,479
I don't get it.

509
00:16:54,629 --> 00:16:58,109
But, you know, this is something
that we have had to deal with

510
00:16:58,169 --> 00:16:58,679
Oh,

511
00:16:58,859 --> 00:17:00,119
uh, for a very long time.

512
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:00,949
Forever.

513
00:17:00,949 --> 00:17:03,799
Uh, you know, we've, we've
had to deal with comments like

514
00:17:03,799 --> 00:17:05,959
this from, from strangers.

515
00:17:06,169 --> 00:17:06,439
Yeah.

516
00:17:06,739 --> 00:17:07,549
It comes up.

517
00:17:07,789 --> 00:17:08,884
Oh, it's the weirdest, frigging thing.

518
00:17:09,109 --> 00:17:10,999
It's so, it is so weird.

519
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:12,109
It's the weirdest thing.

520
00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:17,489
Like I, I mean, first of all, monogamy
relationships, you're gonna get

521
00:17:17,489 --> 00:17:19,319
cheated on one chime or another.

522
00:17:19,469 --> 00:17:20,129
It's gonna happen,

523
00:17:20,249 --> 00:17:21,119
like it happens.

524
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:24,059
If there's one person out there
that has never been cheated on,

525
00:17:24,509 --> 00:17:25,859
I would love to hear from you.

526
00:17:26,699 --> 00:17:27,809
But it exists.

527
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,969
It's, it's what it is.

528
00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:31,219
But that's okay.

529
00:17:31,719 --> 00:17:34,629
Yeah, I never quite
understood that equation.

530
00:17:34,689 --> 00:17:38,859
Like, your man's gonna cheat on you and
you're gonna be like, ah, it's okay.

531
00:17:38,979 --> 00:17:39,969
He still loves me.

532
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:41,019
The kids,

533
00:17:41,259 --> 00:17:42,639
he's a refinery worker.

534
00:17:43,419 --> 00:17:44,469
Nah, no, no.

535
00:17:44,949 --> 00:17:45,159
Yeah,

536
00:17:45,159 --> 00:17:47,349
you just, it's ridiculous.

537
00:17:47,949 --> 00:17:48,249
Yeah.

538
00:17:48,249 --> 00:17:53,929
You know, I mean, where we came
from cheating is celebrated.

539
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:54,409
Oh man.

540
00:17:54,409 --> 00:17:57,859
I guarantee that the men that
reach out to me, I guarantee you.

541
00:17:58,359 --> 00:17:59,709
That most of them are married.

542
00:18:00,129 --> 00:18:04,839
You know, that's, and that's the
thing is it's how they come at you.

543
00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:05,049
Mm-hmm.

544
00:18:05,569 --> 00:18:10,909
But a lot of times, like there was a,
there was a situation not too long ago

545
00:18:11,329 --> 00:18:19,059
where a guy just decided to, uh, kind
of berate you on one of our reels.

546
00:18:19,929 --> 00:18:24,299
Basically was saying how you know,
he's been trying to contact us.

547
00:18:24,299 --> 00:18:24,389
Oh yeah.

548
00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:29,429
And he's been trying to get more
information about how to get in with

549
00:18:29,519 --> 00:18:33,779
the, in-crowd of the lifestyle and that
they are new couple and this and that.

550
00:18:34,389 --> 00:18:36,604
And, and that we were being gatekeepers.

551
00:18:36,639 --> 00:18:36,939
Oh, yeah.

552
00:18:37,054 --> 00:18:37,894
That we were being gatekeepers.

553
00:18:37,894 --> 00:18:39,514
That we were being gatekeepers.

554
00:18:39,544 --> 00:18:40,139
We're on social media.

555
00:18:40,639 --> 00:18:41,389
We got a website.

556
00:18:41,889 --> 00:18:44,619
Um, so that that gentleman we
figured out just wanted to,

557
00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:45,574
he was just sl into, just slide

558
00:18:45,574 --> 00:18:45,939
into my

559
00:18:45,939 --> 00:18:47,319
Ds, sliding into her dms.

560
00:18:47,324 --> 00:18:47,724
That's

561
00:18:47,724 --> 00:18:50,559
all was, and I'm the wrong
person to slide into my dms.

562
00:18:50,799 --> 00:18:55,449
And really, I mean, she, if she gets
any hint that you are trying to.

563
00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:59,709
Put the, the rozen bag on
her, then she's not having it.

564
00:18:59,829 --> 00:19:00,999
She's not gonna answer.

565
00:19:01,059 --> 00:19:02,049
She's gonna leave it be.

566
00:19:02,049 --> 00:19:02,139
Mm-hmm.

567
00:19:02,499 --> 00:19:06,589
Now, this guy decided to spice
it up a notch and he decided to

568
00:19:06,649 --> 00:19:08,419
call you out thinking, I guess.

569
00:19:08,629 --> 00:19:08,719
Mm-hmm.

570
00:19:08,725 --> 00:19:09,739
It was just you.

571
00:19:10,129 --> 00:19:10,459
Yeah.

572
00:19:10,889 --> 00:19:13,269
On there and, you know, not

573
00:19:13,269 --> 00:19:13,984
my bulldog.

574
00:19:14,584 --> 00:19:16,129
I, it, it rubbed me the wrong way.

575
00:19:16,129 --> 00:19:18,099
It did way, first of all,
you don't attack my wife.

576
00:19:18,159 --> 00:19:18,279
Yeah.

577
00:19:18,859 --> 00:19:24,094
But second of all this, this was a. A
learning opportunity for this person.

578
00:19:24,274 --> 00:19:24,364
Mm-hmm.

579
00:19:24,604 --> 00:19:31,434
Uh, because the way he was
acting was impatient and pushy.

580
00:19:31,884 --> 00:19:32,064
Yeah.

581
00:19:32,274 --> 00:19:34,134
Which are two huge red flags.

582
00:19:34,134 --> 00:19:34,194
Yeah.

583
00:19:34,194 --> 00:19:37,794
That we tell all the newbies
whenever we talk about this.

584
00:19:38,229 --> 00:19:40,869
If you're looking, you're, you're
trying to look for red flags.

585
00:19:41,169 --> 00:19:46,999
You run into pushy people, people who are
impatient people who get pissed off real

586
00:19:46,999 --> 00:19:48,619
quick because they don't get their way.

587
00:19:48,679 --> 00:19:48,769
Mm-hmm.

588
00:19:49,009 --> 00:19:50,449
Those are all red flags.

589
00:19:50,449 --> 00:19:50,659
Mm-hmm.

590
00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,119
Those are people you
do not wanna play with.

591
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,549
Those are the ones you wanna
be, you wanna steer clear of.

592
00:19:55,579 --> 00:19:56,119
Totally.

593
00:19:56,299 --> 00:19:56,809
Totally.

594
00:19:56,869 --> 00:19:57,109
I mean,

595
00:19:57,109 --> 00:19:59,959
and right off the bat, by
the way he reacted Yeah.

596
00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:01,074
And the way he did everything.

597
00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:03,134
What that's supposed to work now.

598
00:20:03,139 --> 00:20:03,279
Mm-hmm.

599
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:03,584
Mm-hmm.

600
00:20:04,064 --> 00:20:04,334
Yeah.

601
00:20:04,334 --> 00:20:07,904
We're gonna go introduce you
to the imaginary in-crowd that

602
00:20:07,904 --> 00:20:09,104
you think we're a part of.

603
00:20:09,134 --> 00:20:09,284
Yeah.

604
00:20:09,644 --> 00:20:09,944
Nope,

605
00:20:10,574 --> 00:20:10,784
bro.

606
00:20:10,784 --> 00:20:11,714
We podcast.

607
00:20:11,714 --> 00:20:13,364
How popular do you think we are?

608
00:20:14,024 --> 00:20:15,884
Like, I barely leave the house.

609
00:20:16,274 --> 00:20:17,204
Do you even leave the house?

610
00:20:17,264 --> 00:20:18,224
Uh, every now and then.

611
00:20:18,644 --> 00:20:19,664
I did five miles today.

612
00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:22,094
I saw you showed it to me.

613
00:20:22,094 --> 00:20:23,294
I'm so proud of you.

614
00:20:23,414 --> 00:20:23,924
That's what's up.

615
00:20:24,344 --> 00:20:24,794
Anyways,

616
00:20:24,794 --> 00:20:25,574
I'm so proud.

617
00:20:25,904 --> 00:20:27,854
But you know, my thing is.

618
00:20:28,354 --> 00:20:32,854
This fucking guy, he had just
quite a set of balls on him.

619
00:20:32,914 --> 00:20:33,634
Good for him.

620
00:20:34,264 --> 00:20:37,804
But I, I made it real clear
that the way he was acting

621
00:20:38,494 --> 00:20:40,204
wasn't even gonna work anyways.

622
00:20:40,234 --> 00:20:40,324
Mm-hmm.

623
00:20:40,954 --> 00:20:46,704
And then it's like, why
would you contact her dms?

624
00:20:46,764 --> 00:20:48,654
We have other ways to contact.

625
00:20:49,154 --> 00:20:52,424
You know, we, if you listen to the
podcast, which you know, I don't know

626
00:20:52,424 --> 00:20:56,084
if he does or he doesn't, but he is
reaching out to us for her content.

627
00:20:56,264 --> 00:20:56,474
Mm-hmm.

628
00:20:56,774 --> 00:20:58,724
He should know that we have a podcast.

629
00:20:58,724 --> 00:20:59,024
Mm-hmm.

630
00:20:59,189 --> 00:21:02,264
And if he knows that we have a podcast,
then he should know how to contact

631
00:21:02,264 --> 00:21:03,554
us because we say it all the time.

632
00:21:03,704 --> 00:21:03,794
Mm-hmm.

633
00:21:04,544 --> 00:21:06,194
Www beyond.com.

634
00:21:06,824 --> 00:21:07,604
And guess what?

635
00:21:08,104 --> 00:21:12,154
There is a 100% anonymous beyond
monogamy, confessional that you

636
00:21:12,154 --> 00:21:14,944
can tell us all your stories, all
these things that you can tell us.

637
00:21:15,444 --> 00:21:20,574
Hundred percent
anonymous@www.beyondmonogamy.com.

638
00:21:21,474 --> 00:21:26,364
And also what's there, our email,
you can leave us a voicemail.

639
00:21:26,544 --> 00:21:26,634
Mm-hmm.

640
00:21:27,234 --> 00:21:31,964
And there are several other social medias
that are listed that you can reach out.

641
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:32,624
Yeah.

642
00:21:33,164 --> 00:21:34,454
So there's a lot of channels.

643
00:21:34,604 --> 00:21:35,204
There's a lot,

644
00:21:36,074 --> 00:21:36,284
yeah.

645
00:21:36,284 --> 00:21:36,879
There's a lot of channels.

646
00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:40,349
And for some reason it was
your dms that he chose?

647
00:21:40,349 --> 00:21:40,409
Yeah.

648
00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:42,899
And didn't attempt anything

649
00:21:42,899 --> 00:21:42,989
else?

650
00:21:42,989 --> 00:21:43,109
No.

651
00:21:43,109 --> 00:21:47,689
And then he wanted to attack me and I was
like, excuse me, do you, if you listen

652
00:21:47,689 --> 00:21:50,769
to the podcast, you know I'm not gonna
answer you, like I'm not gonna answer.

653
00:21:51,219 --> 00:21:52,719
So then after all of that,

654
00:21:53,219 --> 00:21:54,389
he finds us somewhere else.

655
00:21:54,659 --> 00:21:55,709
Two weeks later.

656
00:21:56,209 --> 00:21:57,229
Two weeks later.

657
00:21:57,319 --> 00:21:57,529
Mm-hmm.

658
00:21:57,949 --> 00:22:00,409
He messages.

659
00:22:00,909 --> 00:22:02,139
On SDC

660
00:22:02,319 --> 00:22:02,349
Uhhuh

661
00:22:02,849 --> 00:22:05,189
and proceeds to continue to talk crap.

662
00:22:05,489 --> 00:22:06,014
And it's like,

663
00:22:06,334 --> 00:22:09,359
it's like, wow, you're
still sour about this.

664
00:22:09,389 --> 00:22:09,809
Wow.

665
00:22:10,309 --> 00:22:12,319
I I, I don't get it.

666
00:22:12,619 --> 00:22:12,949
Yeah,

667
00:22:13,339 --> 00:22:15,259
I don't get it, but I don't really care.

668
00:22:15,759 --> 00:22:16,959
And you know where he's from, honey

669
00:22:17,459 --> 00:22:17,999
Corpus?

670
00:22:18,089 --> 00:22:18,329
Mm-hmm.

671
00:22:18,599 --> 00:22:19,259
Of course he is.

672
00:22:20,054 --> 00:22:20,564
Sorry guys.

673
00:22:21,064 --> 00:22:21,304
Sorry.

674
00:22:21,304 --> 00:22:22,054
I was born and raised there.

675
00:22:22,054 --> 00:22:23,374
I can talk shit about it all I want.

676
00:22:23,674 --> 00:22:25,294
Well, you know, it's just that attitude.

677
00:22:25,324 --> 00:22:25,504
Yeah.

678
00:22:25,564 --> 00:22:28,474
It's that attitude and that's
typical behavior of a lot of

679
00:22:28,474 --> 00:22:29,494
people that we have met in the

680
00:22:29,494 --> 00:22:29,614
past.

681
00:22:29,614 --> 00:22:30,094
Yeah, it's

682
00:22:30,884 --> 00:22:34,184
And that's why we clocked
that behavior immediately.

683
00:22:34,184 --> 00:22:34,994
That's why we knew

684
00:22:34,994 --> 00:22:35,564
Exactly.

685
00:22:35,564 --> 00:22:38,234
Sorry, that is totally me
judging a corpus, a corpus guy.

686
00:22:38,714 --> 00:22:39,014
Sorry.

687
00:22:39,764 --> 00:22:41,144
And we know that that's not the case.

688
00:22:41,144 --> 00:22:43,034
Hey, you're married, you're
married to a corpus guy.

689
00:22:43,034 --> 00:22:43,044
Guy.

690
00:22:43,044 --> 00:22:43,179
I'm married

691
00:22:43,179 --> 00:22:43,259
to

692
00:22:43,259 --> 00:22:43,499
a corpus guy.

693
00:22:43,499 --> 00:22:45,464
You know, you know what I'm so
like, obviously that's, that's

694
00:22:45,464 --> 00:22:50,234
not what you mean, but it's,
it's this silhouette of a person.

695
00:22:50,324 --> 00:22:50,444
Yeah.

696
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:55,634
Who I guarantee you, Hey, his,
his, he probably was a, a couple.

697
00:22:55,844 --> 00:22:55,904
Yeah.

698
00:22:56,264 --> 00:23:00,884
But his lady probably doesn't know
that he's reaching out to other women.

699
00:23:01,064 --> 00:23:02,339
Like he reached out to you.

700
00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:02,659
Mm-hmm.

701
00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:03,259
Mm-hmm.

702
00:23:03,404 --> 00:23:06,744
You know and then when he got
called out on it, he got sour and

703
00:23:06,744 --> 00:23:07,789
it stayed with him for a long time.

704
00:23:08,289 --> 00:23:08,649
Bro.

705
00:23:08,649 --> 00:23:10,209
But hey, you started the battle.

706
00:23:10,509 --> 00:23:10,749
Yeah.

707
00:23:11,319 --> 00:23:14,619
You didn't get answer from the dm.
You should have just left it alone.

708
00:23:15,249 --> 00:23:16,089
That's unnecessary.

709
00:23:17,079 --> 00:23:19,059
And that's bully behavior.

710
00:23:19,569 --> 00:23:20,739
Bully behavior.

711
00:23:20,739 --> 00:23:21,579
Don't care for it.

712
00:23:21,579 --> 00:23:22,929
That was the turn right there.

713
00:23:22,929 --> 00:23:24,159
I was like, where's this going?

714
00:23:24,594 --> 00:23:24,944
Bully,

715
00:23:25,569 --> 00:23:26,409
bully behavior.

716
00:23:26,409 --> 00:23:27,369
You're so smart.

717
00:23:27,374 --> 00:23:27,704
That's right.

718
00:23:27,784 --> 00:23:28,424
I got you, girl.

719
00:23:29,314 --> 00:23:29,744
Thank you.

720
00:23:29,764 --> 00:23:30,184
That's

721
00:23:30,184 --> 00:23:30,224
right.

722
00:23:31,149 --> 00:23:33,009
Yeah, so I, you know, I apologize guys.

723
00:23:33,009 --> 00:23:36,039
I know that this is a little
bit of a negative episode.

724
00:23:36,459 --> 00:23:36,729
Um,

725
00:23:36,759 --> 00:23:38,739
but it has to be had, I mean,

726
00:23:38,739 --> 00:23:40,119
yeah, it has to be said.

727
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:43,344
A lot of people get judged
in the lifestyle and

728
00:23:43,684 --> 00:23:43,904
Yes.

729
00:23:44,139 --> 00:23:48,939
And you gotta, you know, it's one of those
things where it's, nobody talks about it.

730
00:23:49,089 --> 00:23:49,629
Yeah.

731
00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:50,649
They don't talk about it.

732
00:23:50,649 --> 00:23:54,639
It's not said, you see all the party and
the lights and the this and the, that.

733
00:23:55,344 --> 00:23:56,934
But let's face facts.

734
00:23:57,414 --> 00:24:00,534
There is a negative
connotation with all of this.

735
00:24:00,534 --> 00:24:00,544
Yes,

736
00:24:00,624 --> 00:24:00,744
yes.

737
00:24:00,834 --> 00:24:05,544
And people will judge, and people will
feel that they are the moral authority

738
00:24:05,664 --> 00:24:05,784
mm-hmm.

739
00:24:06,024 --> 00:24:08,184
Over what you should be
doing with your life.

740
00:24:08,394 --> 00:24:08,724
Yes.

741
00:24:08,904 --> 00:24:09,564
And guess what?

742
00:24:09,564 --> 00:24:10,494
It doesn't matter.

743
00:24:11,154 --> 00:24:15,684
You can live your life just the
way they want you to live it.

744
00:24:15,689 --> 00:24:15,819
Mm-hmm.

745
00:24:16,464 --> 00:24:17,844
And they're still gonna judge you.

746
00:24:18,084 --> 00:24:18,234
Yeah.

747
00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:21,034
So that's why you need to
do your own thing, man.

748
00:24:21,744 --> 00:24:22,554
Live your life.

749
00:24:22,614 --> 00:24:22,644
Yolo.

750
00:24:23,604 --> 00:24:24,204
That's right.

751
00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:26,154
YOLO people.

752
00:24:26,154 --> 00:24:27,804
You eat them bacon, cheeseburgers.

753
00:24:27,804 --> 00:24:32,874
You could die from a heart attack tomorrow
and you never got to live that life.

754
00:24:32,874 --> 00:24:33,264
What?

755
00:24:34,044 --> 00:24:34,944
That's so true.

756
00:24:34,944 --> 00:24:35,789
What I'm,

757
00:24:36,024 --> 00:24:37,134
I'm get pea Terry's now.

758
00:24:37,404 --> 00:24:39,124
Hey, there you go.

759
00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,394
Those fries are the bomb.

760
00:24:42,144 --> 00:24:42,984
No, you are right.

761
00:24:42,984 --> 00:24:46,304
I mean, it, it's something different
and they don't understand it.

762
00:24:46,874 --> 00:24:47,204
Understand

763
00:24:47,204 --> 00:24:47,734
that is what it is.

764
00:24:47,739 --> 00:24:47,774
Understand.

765
00:24:47,774 --> 00:24:50,174
They're just, they never lived
it and they don't understand it.

766
00:24:50,179 --> 00:24:50,344
So.

767
00:24:50,344 --> 00:24:50,624
Yeah.

768
00:24:50,684 --> 00:24:54,204
And you know, I, I know that there's a
lot of people out there who you know, they

769
00:24:54,204 --> 00:24:57,504
kind of mull over, well, should I wonder,

770
00:24:57,534 --> 00:24:58,704
how do I respond?

771
00:24:58,704 --> 00:25:00,054
Do I get defensive?

772
00:25:00,084 --> 00:25:00,294
Yeah.

773
00:25:00,504 --> 00:25:02,244
Like, how do I respond
to somebody like that?

774
00:25:02,244 --> 00:25:02,724
We've gotten that.

775
00:25:02,724 --> 00:25:03,384
Ask that question.

776
00:25:03,384 --> 00:25:03,564
Yeah.

777
00:25:04,064 --> 00:25:08,384
You can either say, Hey, it's my
business, or you can just ignore it.

778
00:25:09,164 --> 00:25:10,784
Or what is it to them?

779
00:25:11,444 --> 00:25:12,404
What is it to them?

780
00:25:12,404 --> 00:25:12,614
See?

781
00:25:12,614 --> 00:25:13,574
And that's my thing.

782
00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:14,594
So.

783
00:25:15,539 --> 00:25:20,629
Understand that what we're talking
about here, if, if you're dating

784
00:25:20,629 --> 00:25:23,749
others, well that's your, that's
your own personal relationship.

785
00:25:23,779 --> 00:25:23,839
Yeah.

786
00:25:24,559 --> 00:25:27,649
Um, if you're having sexual
relations with others, well

787
00:25:27,649 --> 00:25:29,719
that's your own personal business.

788
00:25:30,019 --> 00:25:36,489
And for anybody to discuss that with
you they've got no business doing so.

789
00:25:36,609 --> 00:25:37,599
They've got no business

790
00:25:37,599 --> 00:25:39,219
if it's brought up at work.

791
00:25:40,044 --> 00:25:43,284
They've got no business talking
and, and that's, that's kind of

792
00:25:43,284 --> 00:25:45,324
how I handle situations like that.

793
00:25:45,354 --> 00:25:46,344
Plead the fifth

794
00:25:46,494 --> 00:25:47,604
when it comes up.

795
00:25:47,784 --> 00:25:50,964
I go, why are you asking
about my sex life?

796
00:25:51,054 --> 00:25:51,234
Yeah.

797
00:25:51,234 --> 00:25:51,684
At work.

798
00:25:51,924 --> 00:25:52,104
Yeah.

799
00:25:52,854 --> 00:25:57,054
I don't understand why my personal
life is being discussed right now.

800
00:25:57,174 --> 00:25:57,384
Mm-hmm.

801
00:25:57,884 --> 00:25:59,294
You have to turn it around.

802
00:25:59,774 --> 00:26:02,474
You have to throw it back
out there because guess what?

803
00:26:02,774 --> 00:26:04,244
This is inappropriate.

804
00:26:04,244 --> 00:26:06,164
You think that our life is inappropriate.

805
00:26:06,664 --> 00:26:07,774
It's inappropriate.

806
00:26:07,774 --> 00:26:11,734
You bringing my sex life to the
table here without my consent

807
00:26:11,884 --> 00:26:12,304
film.

808
00:26:12,804 --> 00:26:13,464
I'm telling you.

809
00:26:13,494 --> 00:26:17,304
I'm, I'm just saying don't
let bullies bully you.

810
00:26:17,424 --> 00:26:20,124
You stand up to 'em,
you say, fuck you, man.

811
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:21,294
Who the fuck are you?

812
00:26:21,794 --> 00:26:22,694
I'm a person.

813
00:26:22,694 --> 00:26:23,564
You're a person.

814
00:26:23,564 --> 00:26:23,714
What?

815
00:26:23,714 --> 00:26:24,794
Do you make more money than me?

816
00:26:24,824 --> 00:26:25,424
Fuck you.

817
00:26:25,844 --> 00:26:26,444
So what, okay.

818
00:26:26,944 --> 00:26:29,944
By the way, we would love it if
this podcast could get monetized.

819
00:26:29,944 --> 00:26:32,884
So if there's anybody out there
who has a business that's maybe

820
00:26:32,884 --> 00:26:37,294
sex related, or you wanna reach out
to a bigger audience, let us know.

821
00:26:37,384 --> 00:26:37,834
Okay?

822
00:26:38,074 --> 00:26:42,784
You can reach us@www.beyondmonomy.com.

823
00:26:43,264 --> 00:26:44,224
So anyways.

824
00:26:44,724 --> 00:26:48,234
If this episode hit home, share it
with somebody who needs to hear it.

825
00:26:48,234 --> 00:26:49,794
I guarantee you there's plenty of them.

826
00:26:49,974 --> 00:26:50,094
Mm-hmm.

827
00:26:50,334 --> 00:26:55,254
Especially anyone navigating judgment
or misconceptions about non-monogamy.

828
00:26:56,004 --> 00:27:02,594
Oh, if you're new here, go and
check out www-beyond-monogamy.com.

829
00:27:03,074 --> 00:27:03,224
Nice.

830
00:27:03,254 --> 00:27:07,394
We've got blogs, resources, events, and
ways to get involved with the community.

831
00:27:07,499 --> 00:27:07,719
Yes.

832
00:27:08,219 --> 00:27:13,349
So we really hope that this helped shift
perspective a little bit, because at

833
00:27:13,349 --> 00:27:16,889
the end of the day, nobody else gets
to define your relationship except

834
00:27:16,889 --> 00:27:18,689
for the people that are inside of it.

835
00:27:18,899 --> 00:27:19,379
That's right.

836
00:27:19,439 --> 00:27:21,299
So it's you, it's your partner.

837
00:27:21,419 --> 00:27:22,469
Fuck everybody else.

838
00:27:22,529 --> 00:27:25,529
And remember, just because someone
doesn't understand your relationship,

839
00:27:25,529 --> 00:27:26,369
it doesn't mean it's wrong.

840
00:27:26,669 --> 00:27:28,469
It just means it's different from theirs.

841
00:27:29,024 --> 00:27:29,594
That's right.

842
00:27:30,134 --> 00:27:34,304
Make sure to check out our website
again at www dot beyond monogamy

843
00:27:34,484 --> 00:27:37,634
com for upcoming events, webinars,
and everything we've got going on.

844
00:27:38,134 --> 00:27:40,804
And don't forget to follow
the show, leave a review and

845
00:27:40,804 --> 00:27:42,544
connect with us on social media.

846
00:27:42,694 --> 00:27:47,614
Oh, and by the way, I have to apologize
personally, uh, for anybody who may

847
00:27:47,614 --> 00:27:52,384
have tuned into our webinar for on SDC.

848
00:27:52,884 --> 00:27:56,644
This past Sunday it did not go live.

849
00:27:56,644 --> 00:27:57,514
Unfortunately.

850
00:27:57,514 --> 00:27:59,439
There were uh, some
technical difficulties.

851
00:27:59,444 --> 00:28:04,354
Technical difficulties, uh, on SDCs
side UN unfortunately, but that's okay.

852
00:28:04,894 --> 00:28:09,274
We're going to get it rescheduled and
we will keep you guys updated on that.

853
00:28:09,274 --> 00:28:11,014
So just watch our social medias on that.

854
00:28:11,734 --> 00:28:12,184
Okay?

855
00:28:12,454 --> 00:28:15,724
And with that, we really
appreciate you all listening and

856
00:28:15,724 --> 00:28:16,984
we will see you guys next week.

857
00:28:17,224 --> 00:28:18,184
Bye.