Busy Isn’t Ghosting: Entitlement, Boundaries & Lifestyle Etiquette

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Alright y'all, before we
dive in, a quick heads up.

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This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated pg.

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We're talking about adult themes, sexual
content, and the kind of stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kits.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not
licensed therapists, counselors, or sex.

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Couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches, not sex couches

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or just a couple of people sharing our
lives, experiences and sexy adventures.

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An ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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And.

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Well, it's Christmas time and I'm
just here, Adam, with Beyond Monogamy,

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with Adam and Pris Tis the season, and
I have a special treat for you all.

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So if you sit back with your hot
chocolate, kick your slippers off

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and put your feet up and listen to
the smooth sounds of 'Twas the night

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before Christmas beyond monogamy.

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Edition.

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It 'twas the night before Christmas, and
let me be clear, this house wasn't quiet.

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The vibe was severe.

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No vanilla thoughts stirring.

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No silence, no shame.

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Just open minds.

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Good energy and pleasure by name.

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Stockings were hung by the headboard,
with care, not by a fireplace.

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Priorities here, boundaries were set,
consent fully locked because nothing

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kills a mood like assumptions and shock.

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Couples were cozy, some texting,
some teasing while fantasies danced

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and expectations were easing.

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And just as I settled in phone
lighting the room, a DM popped

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up, you know, the familiar doom.

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I scrolled past the, Hey sexy, the
rush and the press, the guilt trip

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attempts that just fail the vibe test.

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Then boom, a message, respectful
and kind, clear intentions.

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No pressure.

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Now that caught my mind.

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Profiles appeared confident and real.

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No entitlement energy.

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Just let's see how we feel.

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No rushing to meet.

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No forcing a plan.

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Just patience and presence.

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Yeah, that's the jam they spoke about.

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Trust, not control, or demand about
curiosity, pleasure, and lending a hand.

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They asked before touching.

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They listened real well because
consent done right is sexy as hell.

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Then came a soft knock.

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Yeah.

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Timing was tight.

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Cocktails were poured and
the energy felt right.

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Silk robes, tattoos a sparkle of green.

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This was not the Christmas
you'd seen on a screen.

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Chris caught my eye with that look.

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That says, yep, that one.

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That means communicate first.

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Then we step.

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We toasted to freedom, to love
without fear, to swinging to

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Polly and to being sincere.

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And as the night rolled with
laughter and cheer, one truth

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rang loud for everyone to hear.

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Talk it out.

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Show respect.

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Take your time.

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That's the key because patience is
sexy and that's beyond monogamy.

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Happy playtime to all
and to all a good night.

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May your boundaries be honored.

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And your vibes stay right.

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Merry Christmas.

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Happy holidays, and we hope everybody
has a sexy and safe Christmas season.

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Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today on our Wednesday
quickie, we are gonna be talking

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about people who forget that busy
doesn't mean rude or not replying.

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Doesn't mean ghosting.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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You know, sometimes it just
means that we're at work.

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We're recording or you know, living life.

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Yeah.

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We have kids, we have family.

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It feels like some people forget
that being in the lifestyle

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or even being podcasters.

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It doesn't mean we're on call 24
7 for everyone who wants to meet.

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Message or hook up.

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Yeah, exactly.

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So today we're diving into
entitlement in the lifestyle.

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Why patience is sexy, why boundaries
matter, and how to stop taking.

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We are busy as a personal rejection.

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Yes.

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So this came up for a very specific
reason and it's, it's actually

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it's the antithesis was today.

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But really this is stuff that's
been coming up little bit

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by little bit by little bit.

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And so what happened today, honey?

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So I was chatting with a couple on Reddit.

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Now I've just chatted with them.

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They're they reached out.

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I accepted and it's just chatting.

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Right?

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We were just chatting, so I
guess I went maybe, I don't know,

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a week without responding or
something, or maybe two weeks.

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But I've had, and you know,
our, our, we've been, I've

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been really stressed, right?

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Yeah.

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It's

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been crazy the past few weeks.

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So

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this dude decides to message
and say, why did you ghost me?

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And so I saw that yesterday, right?

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Yeah.

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And I told Adam, and I was like,
the heck, heck is he talking about?

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What is he talking about?

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I was like, ghosting.

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He's like, and then he responded
today and he was like, yeah, um, we

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were talking or chatting and then you
just all of a sudden stop chatting.

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Oof.

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So I, dude, I've heard of this.

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I've heard of this from a lot of
women before, that men have done

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this or even couples have done this.

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I've never had this.

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I think I maybe had this once.

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From a woman.

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But for the most part, no.

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Yeah.

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You know, um,

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have I been called out for not responding?

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Yeah.

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My friends call me out for not responding.

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Yeah.

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All the time.

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But you're

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very, I am, you're very quick
to say, Hey, you know, I

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am not a chatter.

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I am better in person.

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If you wanna get to know me,
you're gonna have to one, have

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patience or see me somewhere.

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Yeah.

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That's pretty much the way it is.

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I am very busy and I don't have,
I don't have the mental space

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to remember to message people
who are not in my everyday life.

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I totally understand that.

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I get that,

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you know, like, that's just the way it is.

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And so.

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The

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nerve That's, that came off very
entitled, like, because they

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even brought up the podcast.

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Oh,

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hold on.

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So then I respond back

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Uhhuh

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and I tell him, oh, I should read it.

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I tell him I didn't, I'm busy.

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I'm a busy person.

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If you wanted to chat, sorry.

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But it's not my issue.

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It's a, it's your issue.

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I am a busy, that's you issue, you know?

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Yeah.

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I'm a very busy person.

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Um, and I said, and
actually, you know what?

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You got way more time and chatting
outta me than anybody ever has.

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But for now what you said, I
don't want to chat with you.

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Yeah.

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And I said, peace.

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And so then he came back and he said,
I thought maybe a podcaster like

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yourself that talks about the lifestyle.

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Would no lifestyle etiquette.

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Hold on, mofo, I have a job.

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I'm probably not retired like you at
home, seeing who I can meet up with.

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Like, come on, dude.

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I, I loved your response though,
which was, you probably, you

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obviously have listened to the show.

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I said,

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you need to listen to my show
again, because you must have

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missed everybody that knows me.

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I have say, I say it all the time
and I don't have to say it to people.

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So I, I don't think I told this
person, but I don't have to.

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No, you don't, you don't owe anybody.

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But I tell my

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friends, like people we start group chats
with, I tell them, shit, Rae doesn't

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even message me because I am busy.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It is what it is, and I don't,
my brain at work is on work.

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If I get a break, I'll do
something, but no, I'm working

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now.

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I have more time during the day and I,
and I respond to a, a lot more messages.

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Yeah.

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And that's no problem for me.

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Even our group You response in.

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Yeah.

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And, and that's always been the role
that we've played since we've been in

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the lifestyle, since we've been together.

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Yeah.

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You've always said, I just
don't have time for this.

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If you could just handle
it and so I handle it.

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Yeah.

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But, and if it's

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something I wanna talk about,
you're gonna have my full attention.

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Or something that you really wanna, if
you tell me, Priscilla, I need your time,

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I need to tell you something, I'm there.

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Yeah.

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I'll leave the chat when
you're good for me to leave.

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I am there, but this bullshit.

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Nah, homie.

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I don't think so.

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I, I tell everybody the same thing when
I start talking to them in messenger

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or text or whatever, I make sure that
they know, Hey, I. I am quick to respond

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because most of the time I have time.

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Do not feel like you have to
respond back to me anytime soon.

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Yeah.

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Even if it's dazed.

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Yeah.

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It's okay.

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We can pick up wherever
we both have lives.

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Yeah.

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You know, like, I'm understanding
to that because there are times

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where I cannot answer right
away and it's gonna be a while.

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And so people really understand that.

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They get that and it's like, okay, cool.

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But

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I leave text messages on red.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Well, I've had a lot of lady friends
who have told me, they're like,

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I really appreciate that you, you
don't push and nag to answer you back

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right away, and that sort of thing.

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And I'm like, no, I know how life goes.

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Do you know how needy his wife is?

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Uh, you're the only one who I can put up
with on the neediness, I'll tell you that.

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But I, I find it kind of interesting
that somebody or somebody would get

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upset and take it personally if you can.

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Respond back.

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Now, I understand
ghosting is one thing, but

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have I ghosted

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it?

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You know, if, if he had messaged
you and he was blocked Yes.

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Ghosted.

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You know what I'm saying?

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If there was no trace of you at
all, ghosted, ghosted, but this was

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just, I don't have time for you.

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And you know, if, if maybe you
hadn't spoken to him in six months.

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Yeah, sure.

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Ghost.

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But a, a week, two weeks, bro.

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You need to slow your roll.

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I mean, like, that's just a tad bit
needy and I'm sorry, but lifestyle

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etiquette says you need to be patient
with the other people you're talking to.

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Thank you.

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So if you're going to throw that at
us, then you need to read the book.

254
00:11:15,088 --> 00:11:15,433
Thank you.

255
00:11:15,658 --> 00:11:16,468
You know what I'm saying?

256
00:11:16,653 --> 00:11:20,698
You, you can't preach to somebody
who knows how things work.

257
00:11:20,908 --> 00:11:20,968
Yeah.

258
00:11:20,968 --> 00:11:23,158
Like that just is very silly.

259
00:11:23,668 --> 00:11:23,728
No.

260
00:11:23,728 --> 00:11:26,728
And I hope my friend, you
are listening because.

261
00:11:27,418 --> 00:11:28,168
That was pretty dumb.

262
00:11:28,708 --> 00:11:29,008
Yeah.

263
00:11:29,098 --> 00:11:30,568
And you just inspired a whole show.

264
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:31,958
Gracias.

265
00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:32,728
Thank you.

266
00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:33,898
Appreciate it.

267
00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:36,628
You know, I just don't understand
the reason why people would take

268
00:11:36,628 --> 00:11:38,068
something like that very personally.

269
00:11:38,068 --> 00:11:43,168
Now if most people that take
it personally like that, he

270
00:11:43,168 --> 00:11:45,478
probably has been ghosted before

271
00:11:45,883 --> 00:11:47,308
Probably, probably several times.

272
00:11:47,338 --> 00:11:47,818
Probably.

273
00:11:47,818 --> 00:11:52,588
I mean, if you're going into this
conversation already wanting to meet

274
00:11:52,588 --> 00:12:00,338
me or meet us and you, I mean, I told
you clearly, we're not partiers, we're

275
00:12:00,338 --> 00:12:01,628
busy people, blah, blah, blah, blah.

276
00:12:01,628 --> 00:12:03,968
And you didn't get the hint
like that's your problem.

277
00:12:03,968 --> 00:12:04,118
Like,

278
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:04,898
yeah.

279
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:05,558
Yeah.

280
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,568
And I, I really love, don't
love how you told him that.

281
00:12:07,568 --> 00:12:08,798
It's like, that's not a me problem.

282
00:12:08,798 --> 00:12:09,698
That's a you problem.

283
00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:10,178
Yeah.

284
00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:15,958
You know, we're, we are booking out a
month and a half to two months in advance

285
00:12:16,378 --> 00:12:20,308
just to have time to go to a dinner or to.

286
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:26,608
Hell, even our alone time has to be
put in the calendar because of all

287
00:12:26,608 --> 00:12:27,868
the things that we have coming up.

288
00:12:28,078 --> 00:12:28,318
Yeah.

289
00:12:28,558 --> 00:12:37,348
And so for somebody to personally feel
entitled to our time sorry my man.

290
00:12:37,348 --> 00:12:39,448
But that's not how this works.

291
00:12:39,478 --> 00:12:39,928
No.

292
00:12:39,978 --> 00:12:45,768
And if that's the kind of feeling that
you have, you feel like you're entitled

293
00:12:45,768 --> 00:12:48,858
to do that with a couple in the lifestyle.

294
00:12:48,858 --> 00:12:50,478
You will never be successful.

295
00:12:50,658 --> 00:12:50,838
No.

296
00:12:50,868 --> 00:12:56,718
You will never be able to find your tribe
or find your people that want to Yeah.

297
00:12:56,718 --> 00:12:57,538
Continue on with you.

298
00:12:57,538 --> 00:12:57,663
And

299
00:12:57,663 --> 00:12:58,188
they're a couple,

300
00:12:58,758 --> 00:12:59,863
there were a couple What?

301
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:00,233
It was a couple.

302
00:13:00,528 --> 00:13:01,128
What a bummer.

303
00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:01,278
What Yeah.

304
00:13:01,278 --> 00:13:01,938
And I'm sure bu I'm

305
00:13:01,938 --> 00:13:04,588
sure it was the male and
you know, it's pushiness.

306
00:13:04,648 --> 00:13:04,858
Yeah.

307
00:13:04,888 --> 00:13:07,408
It's pushiness and it's
unnecessary pushiness.

308
00:13:07,528 --> 00:13:07,588
Yeah.

309
00:13:07,678 --> 00:13:11,418
Now, I, I caught myself telling
people before who like, you know, you.

310
00:13:11,983 --> 00:13:14,923
We'll try and schedule stuff with
people and something will happen.

311
00:13:14,923 --> 00:13:16,513
Life happens, things fall through.

312
00:13:16,513 --> 00:13:19,673
We have kids sometimes
other people have kids.

313
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:20,483
People get sick.

314
00:13:21,023 --> 00:13:22,103
Life happens.

315
00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:23,663
Plans fall through.

316
00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:27,833
And we communicate that pretty well
with everybody when it happens.

317
00:13:27,983 --> 00:13:28,283
Yeah.

318
00:13:28,343 --> 00:13:34,133
We've had people that we've pushed plans
and pushed plans months down the line.

319
00:13:34,283 --> 00:13:34,583
Yeah.

320
00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:37,343
Because things just haven't matched up.

321
00:13:37,343 --> 00:13:37,553
Right?

322
00:13:37,553 --> 00:13:37,973
Mm-hmm.

323
00:13:38,158 --> 00:13:42,203
Uh, and I tell them all the same thing,
which is we're not going anywhere.

324
00:13:42,683 --> 00:13:45,383
So even if it's a year away, we will.

325
00:13:45,413 --> 00:13:45,473
Yeah.

326
00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:46,883
We will make this happen.

327
00:13:46,973 --> 00:13:47,333
Yeah.

328
00:13:47,453 --> 00:13:51,353
We'll get something on the
books won't be right now.

329
00:13:51,893 --> 00:13:55,313
And if you need it to be right
now, then we are not your people.

330
00:13:55,313 --> 00:13:55,373
Yeah.

331
00:13:55,643 --> 00:13:57,083
Maybe you should find people like that.

332
00:13:57,083 --> 00:13:58,343
Maybe put it in your profile.

333
00:13:58,343 --> 00:14:00,443
Put it in your SDC profile.

334
00:14:00,808 --> 00:14:01,028
Uh,

335
00:14:01,163 --> 00:14:01,733
SDC

336
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:02,243
profile.

337
00:14:02,243 --> 00:14:03,353
SDC profile.

338
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:03,623
Yes.

339
00:14:03,623 --> 00:14:08,773
We love SDC and that's, but that's
realistically, I mean, if, if you

340
00:14:08,773 --> 00:14:13,123
are looking for peop, and I've seen
actually on three fun, the app.

341
00:14:13,993 --> 00:14:14,083
Mm-hmm.

342
00:14:14,263 --> 00:14:22,333
I have seen where people put in their
profile, they'll put stuff like, if

343
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:27,913
we haven't set a date within three
conversations, I'm not interested.

344
00:14:28,363 --> 00:14:33,193
You know, they put their expectations
of pushing us in their profile, which

345
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:37,813
fine, if you're gonna be pushy, that
sucks, but at least they're communicating

346
00:14:38,023 --> 00:14:41,203
their level of pushiness so that
you know what you're jumping into.

347
00:14:41,503 --> 00:14:41,923
Yeah.

348
00:14:41,953 --> 00:14:42,853
You know what I'm saying?

349
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:42,973
Mm-hmm.

350
00:14:43,213 --> 00:14:45,733
Now that person I would
slip, swipe left on.

351
00:14:45,823 --> 00:14:46,123
Yeah.

352
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:48,073
But that's just me.

353
00:14:48,073 --> 00:14:50,533
Some people match that personality.

354
00:14:50,563 --> 00:14:54,133
And I would say if that's, if
you're in that much of a hurry.

355
00:14:54,823 --> 00:14:55,723
Put it in your profile.

356
00:14:55,903 --> 00:14:56,083
Yeah.

357
00:14:56,323 --> 00:14:56,923
You know what I mean?

358
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,143
That's just your, the best way.

359
00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:01,183
Put it in your profile.

360
00:15:01,243 --> 00:15:04,093
Understand that we are
not ignoring anybody.

361
00:15:04,093 --> 00:15:04,273
No.

362
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:05,773
We just don't live in our dms.

363
00:15:05,893 --> 00:15:05,953
No.

364
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,053
That's not our space.

365
00:15:08,083 --> 00:15:08,233
No.

366
00:15:08,263 --> 00:15:09,673
We have a real life.

367
00:15:09,823 --> 00:15:13,153
As does everybody you
contact in the lifestyle.

368
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:19,333
I have a full-time job and I, I mean,
like, I work a lot and my job is very,

369
00:15:20,443 --> 00:15:26,053
I have to be there in front of numbers
and talk to people and be on point,

370
00:15:26,053 --> 00:15:30,463
so I don't have time to chat it up.

371
00:15:30,503 --> 00:15:33,893
My husband gets a text message and my
friends will get a response when I go pee.

372
00:15:34,613 --> 00:15:35,153
That's true.

373
00:15:35,273 --> 00:15:35,513
Yeah.

374
00:15:36,023 --> 00:15:38,333
I normally get you when you
have to take a bathroom break.

375
00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:38,663
Yeah.

376
00:15:39,173 --> 00:15:40,733
So, you know, it is.

377
00:15:40,733 --> 00:15:43,463
It's, and that's, and that's even
harder because most people want to

378
00:15:43,463 --> 00:15:45,713
talk to the woman in the couple Yeah.

379
00:15:45,773 --> 00:15:46,178
Over the man.

380
00:15:47,408 --> 00:15:52,028
So you get a large amount of
messages in comparison to me.

381
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:53,188
Yeah, I do.

382
00:15:53,188 --> 00:15:54,248
And I'm the one that talks.

383
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:54,968
Yeah.

384
00:15:55,688 --> 00:16:00,678
But you know, and, and this is the hard
part, is that we are podcasters Yes.

385
00:16:00,678 --> 00:16:06,528
And we are content creators, and we
do owe our fans and our, and our, our

386
00:16:06,528 --> 00:16:10,858
listeners a bit of loyalty where we
can make ourselves available to them.

387
00:16:10,858 --> 00:16:11,368
And we do.

388
00:16:11,373 --> 00:16:11,533
Yeah.

389
00:16:11,758 --> 00:16:12,133
And we do.

390
00:16:12,133 --> 00:16:12,238
We do.

391
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:12,298
Yeah.

392
00:16:13,258 --> 00:16:17,128
Uh, within reason we do, we, we have all
of these events where we can meet people.

393
00:16:17,188 --> 00:16:17,518
Yeah.

394
00:16:17,548 --> 00:16:21,358
Um, people message me on the, all
the time, on my, on my socials,

395
00:16:21,418 --> 00:16:24,598
and I do my best to get back to
them as, as quick as possible.

396
00:16:24,968 --> 00:16:28,058
You know, we have email, all sorts
of stuff where people have gotten

397
00:16:28,058 --> 00:16:33,198
ahold of us, and I will or we
will stay in contact with them.

398
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:38,518
But it's when people start
feeling entitled to our time.

399
00:16:38,518 --> 00:16:41,758
I mean, you, you have to understand
that yes, we're a public presence.

400
00:16:41,788 --> 00:16:42,088
Yeah.

401
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:42,778
But.

402
00:16:43,723 --> 00:16:46,363
We are also a, we're a
real couple, you know?

403
00:16:46,368 --> 00:16:46,468
Yeah.

404
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:49,903
We're, we're a real
couple with a real family.

405
00:16:49,903 --> 00:16:49,993
Yes.

406
00:16:50,023 --> 00:16:51,343
Living a real life.

407
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:51,943
Yes.

408
00:16:52,003 --> 00:16:54,403
Uh, you know, we're, we
are not millionaires.

409
00:16:54,403 --> 00:16:56,713
We're, we're trying to
make ends meet ourselves.

410
00:16:56,923 --> 00:16:57,073
Yes.

411
00:16:57,073 --> 00:16:57,083
Yeah.

412
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,483
And time is thin.

413
00:16:58,783 --> 00:16:59,113
Yes.

414
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:04,183
And, and so if we share our time with
you, even if it's just to message

415
00:17:04,183 --> 00:17:09,313
back and forth for a small amount of
time, that's a pretty amazing thing.

416
00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:09,703
Yeah.

417
00:17:09,733 --> 00:17:15,623
Because we're both doing triple duty over
here, and that's just talking about us,

418
00:17:16,223 --> 00:17:19,373
but really every person in the lifestyle

419
00:17:19,503 --> 00:17:20,433
Has a life.

420
00:17:21,303 --> 00:17:21,393
Yeah.

421
00:17:21,393 --> 00:17:22,503
It's not only lifestyle,

422
00:17:22,533 --> 00:17:27,003
you have to regard that when you're
talking to people in the lifestyle.

423
00:17:27,393 --> 00:17:27,683
Yeah, for sure.

424
00:17:27,683 --> 00:17:27,693
Yeah.

425
00:17:28,093 --> 00:17:30,133
And, and I think people forget about that.

426
00:17:30,943 --> 00:17:31,303
Yeah.

427
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:32,893
Visibility is not.

428
00:17:33,298 --> 00:17:34,708
Equal to availability?

429
00:17:34,768 --> 00:17:34,858
No.

430
00:17:34,858 --> 00:17:38,398
And, and so I put a lot of
clips on my social media.

431
00:17:38,398 --> 00:17:44,818
For example, like my TikTok, I have
anywhere from three to five, sometimes

432
00:17:44,818 --> 00:17:47,878
six pieces of content that go out a day.

433
00:17:48,718 --> 00:17:51,748
Now that doesn't mean I'm
available at that time.

434
00:17:52,018 --> 00:17:54,358
That just means that that's
when the content's going out.

435
00:17:54,478 --> 00:17:54,688
Yeah.

436
00:17:54,718 --> 00:17:55,438
You know what I mean?

437
00:17:55,748 --> 00:17:59,408
Sometimes I already had it filmed
and I just set it to go out.

438
00:17:59,738 --> 00:17:59,888
Yeah.

439
00:18:00,128 --> 00:18:04,148
Uh, so it doesn't necessarily
mean I'm available or it doesn't

440
00:18:04,148 --> 00:18:05,348
mean that she's available.

441
00:18:05,438 --> 00:18:05,558
Yeah.

442
00:18:05,558 --> 00:18:08,618
If you see the little green dot,
you know, just it comes and goes.

443
00:18:08,618 --> 00:18:08,678
Yeah.

444
00:18:08,918 --> 00:18:13,298
And that's, that's the hard part
is if you're contacting somebody

445
00:18:13,298 --> 00:18:18,128
online, you kind of have to sit
and wait for them to respond back.

446
00:18:18,308 --> 00:18:18,488
You

447
00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:18,878
do.

448
00:18:19,148 --> 00:18:19,958
I mean, it's, and if it doesn't

449
00:18:19,958 --> 00:18:21,098
happen, it doesn't happen.

450
00:18:21,338 --> 00:18:22,238
It's okay.

451
00:18:22,418 --> 00:18:23,588
You're gonna be fine.

452
00:18:24,008 --> 00:18:24,158
Yeah.

453
00:18:24,158 --> 00:18:25,778
I promise you you're gonna be fine.

454
00:18:25,778 --> 00:18:26,228
Yes.

455
00:18:26,508 --> 00:18:30,168
Because there are, there are
lots of other fish in the sea.

456
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:32,133
This is

457
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:32,433
very

458
00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:32,823
true.

459
00:18:32,853 --> 00:18:36,213
Throw your bait back
out and see who bites.

460
00:18:36,243 --> 00:18:37,143
You know what I'm saying?

461
00:18:37,323 --> 00:18:38,103
Don't give up.

462
00:18:39,013 --> 00:18:40,603
Give up on the person that ghosted you.

463
00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:40,663
Yeah.

464
00:18:40,963 --> 00:18:44,533
Or give up on the person that
maybe isn't answering You sure?

465
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:44,893
Yeah.

466
00:18:44,893 --> 00:18:45,463
Move on.

467
00:18:45,973 --> 00:18:47,743
But don't give up on the lifestyle.

468
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:47,983
Yeah.

469
00:18:47,983 --> 00:18:49,513
Maybe change your tactics.

470
00:18:49,993 --> 00:18:53,833
Maybe look at yourself and
see, am I pressuring people?

471
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,153
Am I giving them a hard time?

472
00:18:55,813 --> 00:19:00,193
Oh, I mean, that would take a
level of accountability that some

473
00:19:00,193 --> 00:19:02,593
people struggle with, but yeah.

474
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:05,923
The idea of this life is to grow.

475
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:06,198
Yes.

476
00:19:06,373 --> 00:19:08,563
Isn't it so sir, you're listening.

477
00:19:08,613 --> 00:19:09,093
Grow.

478
00:19:09,093 --> 00:19:10,983
And we ain't talking about your dick size.

479
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:11,493
Grow.

480
00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:12,993
You want to grow as a person.

481
00:19:13,113 --> 00:19:14,253
Grow to be better

482
00:19:14,463 --> 00:19:15,633
and pick and choose your battles.

483
00:19:15,638 --> 00:19:18,483
Pick and choose your battles and never.

484
00:19:19,248 --> 00:19:21,318
Never shit talk a Latina.

485
00:19:23,688 --> 00:19:23,868
Period.

486
00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:25,548
Period.

487
00:19:25,638 --> 00:19:25,878
Thanks babe.

488
00:19:25,878 --> 00:19:26,538
Full stop.

489
00:19:26,988 --> 00:19:30,973
Hey man I, I fight those battles,
but even I know when to walk away.

490
00:19:31,123 --> 00:19:31,688
That was very interest.

491
00:19:31,688 --> 00:19:33,703
You know, I know what I can
get away with and what I can't.

492
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:34,393
Yes.

493
00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:40,638
As much as we love connecting, we just,
realistically we can't possibly reply

494
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,913
or hang out with every single person.

495
00:19:43,273 --> 00:19:43,998
No, no, no, no.

496
00:19:44,028 --> 00:19:44,328
It's, it's

497
00:19:44,328 --> 00:19:49,123
difficult and I've told this to a lot
of friends who go to our, our events

498
00:19:49,123 --> 00:19:52,583
as a matter of fact, it's like, Hey,
I know that you're coming and I really

499
00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:56,693
appreciate it and we're gonna spend some
time together, but I won't be able to

500
00:19:56,693 --> 00:19:59,633
like stay attached to you for very long.

501
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,693
We can probably have a conversation
or whatever, and if I have extra

502
00:20:02,693 --> 00:20:03,713
free time, yeah, I'll get it.

503
00:20:04,343 --> 00:20:04,703
But.

504
00:20:05,588 --> 00:20:07,898
You know what, these things were
kind of pulled left and right.

505
00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:08,318
Yeah.

506
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:12,473
And we don't want to neglect anybody
who's made any trip out to, do you

507
00:20:12,513 --> 00:20:16,418
remember when we had a meet and greet
and somebody was like on me and Oh yeah.

508
00:20:17,018 --> 00:20:18,068
They wouldn't leave me

509
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,148
like a little puppy dog.

510
00:20:19,148 --> 00:20:20,048
Like a little puppy dog.

511
00:20:20,048 --> 00:20:20,288
Yeah.

512
00:20:20,588 --> 00:20:24,158
And I remember I got up and I had to go to
the car for something and I came back and

513
00:20:24,158 --> 00:20:30,218
he was sitting in my spot and I remember
for a moment there going the fuck.

514
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,188
And then I was like, it's cool.

515
00:20:33,338 --> 00:20:36,488
I walk away and man, I saw the
look on your face, like, don't

516
00:20:36,488 --> 00:20:37,508
leave me here with this guy.

517
00:20:37,538 --> 00:20:38,498
Yeah, yeah.

518
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:41,178
You know, some people just don't,
they don't know how to read a room.

519
00:20:41,208 --> 00:20:41,508
Yeah.

520
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:45,728
We love y'all but being public does
not mean that we are public property.

521
00:20:45,758 --> 00:20:46,088
No.

522
00:20:46,088 --> 00:20:47,018
Like y'all gotta.

523
00:20:47,743 --> 00:20:48,848
No, stop

524
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:49,008
it.

525
00:20:49,008 --> 00:20:49,093
Stop it,

526
00:20:49,723 --> 00:20:50,323
stop doing

527
00:20:50,323 --> 00:20:50,623
that.

528
00:20:50,653 --> 00:20:51,523
Don't do that.

529
00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:56,648
You know, I mean, it's, Hey, we're all
about the fun and, and you know, we are,

530
00:20:56,923 --> 00:21:00,733
if you've ever been to any of our, our
events or if you've ever been to the club

531
00:21:00,733 --> 00:21:05,213
and we've been there and you've taken
a chance in saying hello to us, yes.

532
00:21:05,218 --> 00:21:07,823
You, you will never get snubbed and nope.

533
00:21:07,943 --> 00:21:09,833
You will always have a place at our table.

534
00:21:10,283 --> 00:21:11,513
We will talk to you.

535
00:21:11,513 --> 00:21:13,488
Like it's not even like that at all.

536
00:21:13,668 --> 00:21:14,088
No, no.

537
00:21:14,183 --> 00:21:17,993
You know, everybody's invited to
our events, everybody's invited

538
00:21:17,993 --> 00:21:19,223
to come and hang out with us.

539
00:21:19,583 --> 00:21:23,043
Just understand that, you know,
our time is got pull everywhere.

540
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:24,393
Yeah.

541
00:21:24,393 --> 00:21:24,573
It

542
00:21:24,573 --> 00:21:26,438
sounds like, Hey, can you meet for dinner?

543
00:21:26,438 --> 00:21:28,568
And it's like, oh God, I
can like in two months.

544
00:21:28,598 --> 00:21:28,928
Yeah.

545
00:21:29,078 --> 00:21:29,378
Yeah.

546
00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:32,348
And you know, if you're okay
with that, then the sooner we put

547
00:21:32,348 --> 00:21:33,218
it in the calendar, the better.

548
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:38,563
It's it can be pretty frustrating
when people get upset because we're

549
00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:40,273
booked weeks out, but yeah, you.

550
00:21:40,918 --> 00:21:43,463
I understand when people get frustrated.

551
00:21:43,463 --> 00:21:43,663
Yes.

552
00:21:43,668 --> 00:21:44,488
I I get it.

553
00:21:45,038 --> 00:21:49,058
But just if you could just be a
little bit more understanding Yeah.

554
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:49,628
To us.

555
00:21:49,968 --> 00:21:55,408
I've, I've had situations and luckily
everybody that I've had these situations

556
00:21:55,408 --> 00:21:57,358
with, they've been very understanding.

557
00:21:57,848 --> 00:22:02,528
But you know, I have not to sound like
I'm in demand or anything, but I have

558
00:22:02,528 --> 00:22:07,898
some ladies that wanna, that want to
go for a, a ride on the Adam train.

559
00:22:07,988 --> 00:22:08,768
You know what I'm saying?

560
00:22:09,038 --> 00:22:10,298
Tell 'em to meet you at Club Eden.

561
00:22:10,388 --> 00:22:11,528
Well, no, that's what I'm saying.

562
00:22:11,528 --> 00:22:17,408
And they usually go to Club Eden and there
are times where I just can't break away or

563
00:22:17,408 --> 00:22:19,898
I can't free up to take them to the back.

564
00:22:19,898 --> 00:22:21,638
And you've already told
me, you're like, it's cool.

565
00:22:21,638 --> 00:22:22,238
Go do your thing.

566
00:22:22,928 --> 00:22:25,148
But a lot of times,

567
00:22:25,148 --> 00:22:25,428
times that's all

568
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,203
catches me in a good mood.

569
00:22:28,303 --> 00:22:29,198
I'm just kidding, baby.

570
00:22:29,198 --> 00:22:29,498
It has

571
00:22:29,498 --> 00:22:30,158
to be early.

572
00:22:31,378 --> 00:22:35,493
Even with that, I. I run
outta time or I get tired, or

573
00:22:35,493 --> 00:22:36,963
maybe I'm just not feeling it.

574
00:22:36,963 --> 00:22:38,013
Stuff like that, you know?

575
00:22:38,013 --> 00:22:38,223
Yeah.

576
00:22:38,613 --> 00:22:43,113
And it, I never want the person
who's there, who's basically not

577
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:47,683
getting me to feel like they're
being snubbed or anything.

578
00:22:48,163 --> 00:22:51,013
It's just one of those things that's
like, okay, it hasn't worked out yet,

579
00:22:51,013 --> 00:22:52,153
but it'll work out at some point.

580
00:22:52,243 --> 00:22:52,723
You know what I mean?

581
00:22:53,143 --> 00:22:54,218
Uh, luckily for me, I don't

582
00:22:54,218 --> 00:22:54,973
think they feel snubbed.

583
00:22:55,093 --> 00:22:55,963
I don't think so either.

584
00:22:55,963 --> 00:22:58,813
But, you know, my overthinking
makes me think that, you

585
00:22:58,813 --> 00:22:59,618
know, because just never know.

586
00:22:59,618 --> 00:23:00,013
That would lead us

587
00:23:00,013 --> 00:23:02,293
back to entitlement probably's.

588
00:23:02,343 --> 00:23:06,223
And so, the ladies that, that
I have talked to who have been

589
00:23:06,223 --> 00:23:09,883
interested in stuff like that have
been really understanding of that.

590
00:23:10,153 --> 00:23:10,213
Yeah.

591
00:23:10,213 --> 00:23:11,833
And I, so I'm always appreciative of that.

592
00:23:11,833 --> 00:23:15,223
But I, you know, I've always wondered
if that was a thing, you know?

593
00:23:15,283 --> 00:23:18,823
'cause some people can take it
personally and it's not personal.

594
00:23:20,083 --> 00:23:20,203
No.

595
00:23:20,203 --> 00:23:20,893
You know, it's not personal.

596
00:23:21,253 --> 00:23:22,573
No, it's not.

597
00:23:22,933 --> 00:23:23,413
No.

598
00:23:23,743 --> 00:23:27,733
You know, I, I think people
crave instant gratification.

599
00:23:28,793 --> 00:23:32,153
But lifestyle connections
thrive on patience and respect.

600
00:23:32,183 --> 00:23:32,513
Yes.

601
00:23:32,518 --> 00:23:33,568
And timing, you know?

602
00:23:33,988 --> 00:23:34,208
Yes.

603
00:23:35,153 --> 00:23:39,113
I just, I get, you know, there's
a lot of people that say, well,

604
00:23:39,113 --> 00:23:40,223
I don't want a one night stand.

605
00:23:40,223 --> 00:23:43,813
But then at the same time, they, they're
pressing you to let's get our, our

606
00:23:43,813 --> 00:23:46,093
date in so that can see you're the one.

607
00:23:46,453 --> 00:23:46,573
And

608
00:23:46,723 --> 00:23:48,943
if, and if someone's schedule
doesn't, is like being full.

609
00:23:48,943 --> 00:23:49,933
It's not a deal breaker.

610
00:23:50,053 --> 00:23:50,113
No.

611
00:23:50,113 --> 00:23:51,523
You're probably just not ready for that.

612
00:23:51,643 --> 00:23:55,333
You know that connection and
you're just chasing the dopamine,

613
00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:56,563
chasing dopamine.

614
00:23:56,563 --> 00:23:57,703
Yeah, for sure.

615
00:23:57,703 --> 00:23:58,933
Just go rub one out.

616
00:23:58,933 --> 00:23:59,653
You'll be all right.

617
00:23:59,653 --> 00:24:00,313
Or goon.

618
00:24:01,063 --> 00:24:02,593
Same shit, apparently.

619
00:24:02,653 --> 00:24:03,403
Look at you.

620
00:24:03,408 --> 00:24:03,458
Yeah.

621
00:24:04,453 --> 00:24:04,723
Yeah.

622
00:24:04,723 --> 00:24:05,053
Straight.

623
00:24:06,313 --> 00:24:07,063
Stop saying that.

624
00:24:07,693 --> 00:24:08,623
I think it's hilarious.

625
00:24:08,623 --> 00:24:09,673
Stop, I, I got this.

626
00:24:10,693 --> 00:24:11,503
I'm hit y'all.

627
00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:12,193
I'm hit.

628
00:24:12,403 --> 00:24:13,243
So, let's see.

629
00:24:13,243 --> 00:24:15,973
How are you gonna respect the
boundaries without killing the vibe?

630
00:24:16,603 --> 00:24:16,873
Well.

631
00:24:17,323 --> 00:24:18,883
Here are a few little tips.

632
00:24:18,943 --> 00:24:19,153
Yeah.

633
00:24:19,303 --> 00:24:22,093
Etiquette tips, lifestyle etiquette.

634
00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:23,118
There you go, my friend.

635
00:24:23,258 --> 00:24:23,478
Yes.

636
00:24:23,533 --> 00:24:25,993
Don't double text and don't guilt trip.

637
00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:26,613
Nope nope.

638
00:24:27,078 --> 00:24:31,788
And if someone doesn't reply right away,
assume they're busy, not uninterested.

639
00:24:31,788 --> 00:24:31,848
Yeah.

640
00:24:31,878 --> 00:24:33,318
Don't take it personally.

641
00:24:33,378 --> 00:24:33,738
No.

642
00:24:33,868 --> 00:24:38,398
When reaching out to C you know, other
creators, other podcasters, treat 'em as

643
00:24:38,398 --> 00:24:40,798
people first and personalities second.

644
00:24:40,858 --> 00:24:45,378
If you have to even treat them as
personalities, like, we've talked to

645
00:24:45,378 --> 00:24:49,528
other creators and they all say the same
thing, which is we're just regular people.

646
00:24:49,528 --> 00:24:50,358
We're just regular people, man.

647
00:24:50,538 --> 00:24:52,128
You know, and we say the same thing.

648
00:24:52,128 --> 00:24:54,288
It's don't put us on a pedestal.

649
00:24:54,433 --> 00:24:55,188
No, no.

650
00:24:55,698 --> 00:24:58,068
Patience and confidence go hand in hand.

651
00:24:58,128 --> 00:24:58,548
Yes.

652
00:24:58,698 --> 00:25:01,128
And you know, let me tell
you, patience is sexy.

653
00:25:01,368 --> 00:25:01,638
Yes.

654
00:25:01,638 --> 00:25:01,728
This

655
00:25:01,728 --> 00:25:02,358
is confidence.

656
00:25:02,358 --> 00:25:02,898
Yes.

657
00:25:02,898 --> 00:25:04,278
And boundaries aren't rejection.

658
00:25:04,278 --> 00:25:05,868
They're like full self-respect.

659
00:25:06,378 --> 00:25:06,768
Yeah.

660
00:25:07,218 --> 00:25:07,278
Yeah.

661
00:25:07,278 --> 00:25:08,178
Self-respect.

662
00:25:08,178 --> 00:25:09,138
All the way y'all

663
00:25:09,438 --> 00:25:09,688
self respect

664
00:25:10,218 --> 00:25:12,138
boundaries and you know, just take it.

665
00:25:12,858 --> 00:25:17,208
Take it as a learning lesson and
go, okay, how can I fix this?

666
00:25:17,328 --> 00:25:17,418
Mm-hmm.

667
00:25:17,608 --> 00:25:20,548
Respecting someone's boundaries
makes you more attractive, I think.

668
00:25:20,608 --> 00:25:23,668
Yeah, no, it it because it shows
this maturity about you and

669
00:25:23,848 --> 00:25:25,738
almost like an emotional maturity.

670
00:25:25,948 --> 00:25:26,008
Yeah.

671
00:25:26,038 --> 00:25:29,398
You've got the confidence and
definitely an emotional intelligence.

672
00:25:29,398 --> 00:25:30,688
And that says a lot about,

673
00:25:30,868 --> 00:25:31,558
that's a good point.

674
00:25:31,558 --> 00:25:34,138
How you think about this whole lifestyle.

675
00:25:34,138 --> 00:25:35,548
And that's an attraction right there.

676
00:25:35,758 --> 00:25:36,418
It's sexy.

677
00:25:36,478 --> 00:25:37,228
It is.

678
00:25:37,228 --> 00:25:37,588
Yes.

679
00:25:38,128 --> 00:25:40,918
Being in the lifestyle, it doesn't
mean everyone owes you access.

680
00:25:40,918 --> 00:25:40,978
Yeah.

681
00:25:40,978 --> 00:25:43,918
So guys, pump your brakes.

682
00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:44,608
Pump your brakes.

683
00:25:44,608 --> 00:25:44,728
Yes.

684
00:25:44,728 --> 00:25:46,858
It's supposed to be about
connection and respect.

685
00:25:46,858 --> 00:25:47,908
It's not title.

686
00:25:48,178 --> 00:25:48,868
It's right.

687
00:25:48,868 --> 00:25:49,438
That's right.

688
00:25:50,308 --> 00:25:50,578
Yeah.

689
00:25:50,578 --> 00:25:54,208
But you know, we try and show grace.

690
00:25:54,238 --> 00:25:54,358
Yes.

691
00:25:54,388 --> 00:25:55,978
And we try and be patient.

692
00:25:56,038 --> 00:25:56,338
Yes.

693
00:25:57,478 --> 00:25:58,018
I do,

694
00:25:58,048 --> 00:26:00,898
the lifestyle's fun and
it's healthy for everyone.

695
00:26:00,898 --> 00:26:04,588
So, you know, just, just
remember that as we go along.

696
00:26:04,648 --> 00:26:05,128
Yes.

697
00:26:05,668 --> 00:26:08,638
So have you ever caught yourself
thinking, why didn't they respond yet?

698
00:26:08,728 --> 00:26:09,418
Take a deep breath.

699
00:26:09,778 --> 00:26:11,068
They're probably just living life.

700
00:26:11,308 --> 00:26:11,938
Exactly.

701
00:26:12,058 --> 00:26:13,468
Patience is sexy.

702
00:26:13,888 --> 00:26:16,528
Entitlement isn't respect
someone's time, and you'll

703
00:26:16,528 --> 00:26:18,268
stand out in all the right ways.

704
00:26:18,898 --> 00:26:18,958
Yeah.

705
00:26:19,198 --> 00:26:23,218
And if you wanna see where we'll
actually be, not just online.

706
00:26:23,218 --> 00:26:29,078
Check out all of our upcoming
events at www.beyond-monogamy.com.

707
00:26:29,098 --> 00:26:31,678
Just hit the events tab for
everything we've got coming up.

708
00:26:32,008 --> 00:26:33,118
Absolutely.

709
00:26:33,238 --> 00:26:37,138
And you can also stream all of
our shows, our blogs, and links

710
00:26:37,468 --> 00:26:39,418
to all of our social media.

711
00:26:39,628 --> 00:26:41,818
Everything is literally there.

712
00:26:41,998 --> 00:26:47,458
Also, don't forget to check us
out on fullswapradio.com every

713
00:26:47,918 --> 00:26:50,138
Thursday, at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM

714
00:26:50,258 --> 00:26:50,858
Yes.

715
00:26:50,858 --> 00:26:53,108
And make sure you like, subscribe, review.

716
00:26:53,783 --> 00:26:55,013
And share the podcast.

717
00:26:55,013 --> 00:26:57,743
It really helps us grow and
keeps the conversation going.

718
00:26:57,803 --> 00:27:01,133
Yes, and as always, thank
you so much for listening.

719
00:27:01,133 --> 00:27:02,273
Thank you for your patience.

720
00:27:02,273 --> 00:27:05,963
Thank you for, for being there for
us and for hearing us out every week.

721
00:27:06,593 --> 00:27:07,493
We will see you guys

722
00:27:07,493 --> 00:27:08,033
next week.

723
00:27:08,393 --> 00:27:08,993
Bye.