Is a Couple's Play Partner Off Limits? The Etiquette Nobody Talks About — Beyond Monogamy QUICKIE

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Alright y'all, before we
dive in, a quick heads up.

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This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated pg.

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We're talking about adult themes, sexual
content, and the kind of stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kits.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not
licensed therapists, counselors, or sex.

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Couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches,

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not sex couches

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or just a couple of people sharing our
lives, experiences and sexy adventures.

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An ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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And.

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Hello and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today's quickie, we are talking
about one of those unwritten lifestyle

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rules that nobody puts in a handbook.

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What do you do when you meet a
couple's play partner and you kind

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of wanna have them for yourself?

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Yeah, we got a message from a
friend of the show and honestly,

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when I read it, I thought.

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How has nobody talked about this yet?

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Because mm-hmm.

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It is so real.

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Mm-hmm.

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Like, it, it happens.

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Mm-hmm.

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Mm-hmm.

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I, um, I've actually seen this before
and I would ask myself the same,

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this question right here, how do you
know what their rules are, right?

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Mm-hmm.

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Because is it that girl that's just
a girlfriend to the girlfriend, to

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the, a girlfriend to the, is it.

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An open poly situation.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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So I mean, realistically what, what
I gathered was, what he was asking

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was what's the etiquette there?

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Yeah.

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What's the proper decorum?

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Like, what are the rules on Ooh.

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And so we're gonna get into
this, but before we do.

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If you've ever found yourself in a
situation like this, or you just want

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more real judgment free conversations
about the lifestyle, you know, you

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can head over to www beyond-monogamy.

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com.

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Mm-hmm.

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That's our OneStop Shop.

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Episodes, blogs, events, merch.

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That's right.

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Guys, we are about to come out with
some amazing merge that's about to drop.

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I'm hoping to drop it on Easter
and you get a certain discount.

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If you leave a review,

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damn.

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Just letting you know.

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Subscribe and like guys

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Absolutely.

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Turn on your notifications.

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That's right.

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Because then you'll know, uh,
when this bickering bitch is on.

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That's right.

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And don't forget that we have
the anonymous confessional on our

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website so you can load up whatever
you gotta get off your chest.

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Yeah.

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No judgment.

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We promise

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half mostly.

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Alright, so let's, uh,
let's get into this message.

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I'm gonna go ahead and read it.

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Ooh.

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Stomach's turning.

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Really?

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Yeah.

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I'm excited.

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So here's what our friend sent,
I'm gonna read it all exactly how

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he wrote it, because honestly,
the confusion in it is the point.

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Okay?

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So how to handle meeting someone
who's a play partner to someone

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else already, and what you should
do if maybe you want them to be a

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play partner to you or your couple.

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We recently met new friends.

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It was three of them, a
couple, and their play partner.

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We all hit it off, but then we liked
their partner, but we didn't know how to

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handle asking or if their partner was off
limits, do we test the friendship or is

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it one of those, mine is mine type deals.

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Yeah,

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that's a lot of questions.

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That's, that's a lot.

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Yeah, that's a lot.

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There's a lot of, of, uh, there's
actually a few things hiding in that.

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One is a couple's play partner
automatically off limits to other people.

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Two, if you are interested, how
do you even talk to them first?

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Hmm.

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And three, how do you bring it up
without torching a brand new friendship?

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Okay.

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Okay.

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I know how you can bring it up.

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First of all, you're
gonna know they're one.

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The woman is No one's property.

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No one's property.

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Correct.

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That's true.

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So she True is a human being who
does not belong to any of them.

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With that being said, Adam belongs
to me and I belong to Adam.

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They, we

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have our

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agreements,

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so, so you don't know that, right?

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And you don't know what
their agreements are.

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Yeah.

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So you don't know that.

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And putting that aside for a bit, right?

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It's just there, you should be
able to have that conversation with

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anybody that you meet very smoothly
because you're gonna ask them, Hey,

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so, so what are y'all's dynamics?

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Once you ask that and you're just asking
in conversation because we're lifestylers,

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we wanna know what your dynamic is.

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Right.

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You already know they are
a throuple or whatever.

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Just ask 'em.

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Like, be like, okay, so cool.

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What's y'all's dynamics?

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Yeah.

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You know, how do y'all play?

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Yeah.

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You know, they're pretty
simple, um, questions and I

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think they're very open-ended.

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They

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can be.

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I mean, they can be, they
can be a little open-ended.

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Yeah.

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I just feel like there's way more
to it than it being that easy.

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I mean, the first point is very,
very valid in the fact that mm-hmm.

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Nobody know.

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Nobody owns anybody.

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Yeah.

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Each person in any relationship, no matter
what the dynamic is their own person.

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Yes.

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As a person standing on
the outside looking inside,

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yeah.

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You don't know what kind of
agreements that they have.

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No.

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Uh, and if we've learned anything
about being non-monogamous, it's that

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there's a label for every frigging thing

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there is.

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There's a label for everything,

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you

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know, and anybody can slap
a label on themselves.

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And we know of people who are.

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A lot stronger than just
a sexual relationship.

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Mm-hmm.

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Maybe they have a, a poly
situation ship going on.

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Maybe they're closed Polly.

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Yeah.

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They situation, they're closed
where they occasionally swing.

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Yeah.

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You know what I mean?

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Yeah.

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Like, we've run into that before.

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And so if you don't communicate
that, if you don't ask them

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initially, Hey, what's your dynamic?

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How is this all connected?

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Yeah.

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Like, make it fun, you know?

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Maybe tell a story of somebody
that y'all were in a relationship

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with without naming names.

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You know, like if that's, if you wanna
open the conversation, you can be

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like, Hey, you know, um, that's cool.

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You have a girlfriend, Adam
and I had a girlfriend.

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Yeah.

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You know?

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Yeah.

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Um,

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read the room.

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Read the room, read the,
read the vibes room.

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You

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can see how they interact

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with each

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other.

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Yeah.

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And yeah, exactly.

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You can ask and then in there you can
be like, yeah, you know, it didn't

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work for us because whatever, um.

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She wanted it to be closed, but it wasn't.

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You can make up whatever story you want.

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Or if you ever had that happen, what
happened then that opens your door

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to be like, okay, they're gonna be
like, oh, this is our situation.

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Yeah.

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You know, and I, you know, I've heard
this very interesting situation come up

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in lifestyle from different people before.

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It's, it's this very.

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Interesting situation where somebody
new will come into the lifestyle.

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Mm-hmm.

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Either a new single or a new couple.

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And they will be spotted by an
experienced couple who kind of swoop

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in and scoop them up, so to speak.

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Mm-hmm.

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Uh, you know, and they, they
all kind of have this whirlwind

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of fun and I've heard stories.

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So I, I've heard these stories before
of these couples swooping in and.

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Taking up these new people.

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Mm-hmm.

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Kind of as, I don't know, teachers.

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Mm-hmm.

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Or, you know, show 'em
the ropes, so to speak.

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But what they end up doing is
they end up telling everybody

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else, Hey, these are our people.

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Yes.

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You know what I mean?

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They get very territorial
of very, of these people.

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Yes.

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Without the new people knowing.

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Yes.

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And I've heard of this situation
before a few different times.

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Oh, we've seen it, we've seen it before.

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Uh, you know, and, and it's,
it's not a good situation.

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Yeah.

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Unless it's something that
everybody's agreed on.

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And in these situations
that wasn't the case.

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And so that is something that you, you
don't want to just talk to the couple.

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Yeah.

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About this.

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Yeah.

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You want to talk to the third

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to

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all of 'em at some point.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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You wanna make sure that
they're all on the same level

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of whatever they're agreeing on.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's, and it I feel like it's not
really a hard question to ask.

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Well, it's not for us, uh, now.

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Yeah.

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Because we, I, I, I think one
thing that we had said when we

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were doing our, our workshop at
Forbidden Fruit this past Sunday

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mm-hmm.

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Was that.

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When you've had some of the hardest,
uncomfortable conversations mm-hmm.

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In the lifestyle.

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Mm-hmm.

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Anything else is just easy to talk about.

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Yeah, that's very true.

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And so for me, asking those
questions, just coming out with it,

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yeah.

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I tend to overshare and I tend
to ask a lot of really Yeah.

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In depth questions to
people when we first meet,

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same I am.

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He usually starts it and then
we just bounce off of each other

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because we already know what we want.

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We already know what we want and
what our rules and boundaries

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00:09:12,534 --> 00:09:14,744
are, and we're very open to it.

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Yes.

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So

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yes,

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we want the other people to know as well.

259
00:09:18,344 --> 00:09:18,704
Yeah.

260
00:09:18,704 --> 00:09:25,964
So, you know, if I had to really
advise this person on, on what to

261
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:31,574
do, how to do it, me personally, you
know, I would start out with, have a

262
00:09:31,574 --> 00:09:32,894
conversation with all three of them.

263
00:09:33,064 --> 00:09:34,714
Y'all as a couple can sit down.

264
00:09:34,714 --> 00:09:37,294
You can have a conversation with all
three of them whenever y'all all hang

265
00:09:37,294 --> 00:09:41,134
out and be like, Hey, you know, so
what's, what's the connection here?

266
00:09:41,134 --> 00:09:41,224
Mm-hmm.

267
00:09:41,564 --> 00:09:43,704
I've said that with other
couples that we've met.

268
00:09:43,824 --> 00:09:45,414
That are attached to other couples.

269
00:09:45,414 --> 00:09:45,474
Yeah.

270
00:09:45,474 --> 00:09:47,599
It's like, okay, who's
connected to who and Yeah.

271
00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:49,074
And how does this all work?

272
00:09:49,734 --> 00:09:50,994
I guarantee you.

273
00:09:51,494 --> 00:09:53,084
They like to talk about that shit.

274
00:09:53,954 --> 00:09:54,014
They

275
00:09:54,014 --> 00:09:56,534
do Swingers love to talk about themselves.

276
00:09:56,684 --> 00:09:56,774
Yes.

277
00:09:56,924 --> 00:09:58,049
And their connections.

278
00:09:58,049 --> 00:09:58,169
And

279
00:09:58,174 --> 00:09:59,474
couples will talk about couples.

280
00:09:59,534 --> 00:10:00,254
Absolutely.

281
00:10:00,554 --> 00:10:02,024
So all you gotta do is ask.

282
00:10:02,024 --> 00:10:02,774
Now I understand it.

283
00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:05,744
It may come off as uncomfortable
if you don't do it often.

284
00:10:06,594 --> 00:10:07,044
But.

285
00:10:07,584 --> 00:10:11,874
I promise you all it takes is the one
time to, you know, really come out there

286
00:10:11,874 --> 00:10:16,914
and not like you have a secondary motive,
but like you're actually interested

287
00:10:16,914 --> 00:10:20,064
in finding out what is the situation.

288
00:10:20,094 --> 00:10:21,234
I have, I have a question for you.

289
00:10:21,264 --> 00:10:21,564
Yeah.

290
00:10:22,064 --> 00:10:23,114
Who should start it?

291
00:10:23,894 --> 00:10:26,174
Because say if it's you and I,

292
00:10:26,264 --> 00:10:26,354
yeah.

293
00:10:26,714 --> 00:10:27,314
And.

294
00:10:27,814 --> 00:10:31,354
We've been in the lifestyle
for three years or whatever.

295
00:10:31,404 --> 00:10:31,494
Sure.

296
00:10:31,494 --> 00:10:32,844
So we're, we're pr we talk.

297
00:10:33,114 --> 00:10:33,384
Sure.

298
00:10:34,254 --> 00:10:36,444
You know, we listen to
this really cool podcast

299
00:10:36,774 --> 00:10:38,244
called Beyond Monogamy
with Adam and Prince.

300
00:10:38,244 --> 00:10:39,259
Yeah, I hear it's good.

301
00:10:39,259 --> 00:10:41,064
And they, you know, they
give us a lot of advice.

302
00:10:41,184 --> 00:10:41,394
Yeah.

303
00:10:42,024 --> 00:10:42,414
I hear amazing.

304
00:10:42,414 --> 00:10:42,859
Which is cool

305
00:10:43,449 --> 00:10:44,539
that Adam's a handsome dude.

306
00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:48,374
Who should, who, which
one of us should it be?

307
00:10:48,874 --> 00:10:50,194
Who do you think would do it here?

308
00:10:50,554 --> 00:10:51,154
Me or you?

309
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:53,119
As far as

310
00:10:53,479 --> 00:10:54,979
breaking that into the conversation?

311
00:10:55,479 --> 00:10:56,349
If we're meeting up, it

312
00:10:56,349 --> 00:10:57,909
comes off better from one or the other.

313
00:10:58,089 --> 00:11:00,099
If we're meeting up with
a couple that has a third

314
00:11:00,219 --> 00:11:00,999
Who would bring it up?

315
00:11:00,999 --> 00:11:01,089
Mm-hmm.

316
00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:02,139
I would think.

317
00:11:02,819 --> 00:11:07,349
If it's something, if it's somebody that
we're both attracted to Uhhuh, I tend

318
00:11:07,349 --> 00:11:09,989
to stay back and let you take the lead.

319
00:11:10,259 --> 00:11:10,469
Yeah.

320
00:11:10,499 --> 00:11:11,999
So it would most likely be you.

321
00:11:11,999 --> 00:11:12,059
Yeah.

322
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:15,559
If you were that interested in somebody,
you know, you would, you would, I can

323
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:19,219
guarantee you I would, in your cute
little pri way, you'll go out there

324
00:11:19,219 --> 00:11:21,109
and you'll go, so who are you with?

325
00:11:21,199 --> 00:11:22,219
You know, and that whole thing.

326
00:11:22,219 --> 00:11:23,329
And what does, how does this work?

327
00:11:23,569 --> 00:11:23,629
Yeah.

328
00:11:23,659 --> 00:11:25,259
Um, people tend to.

329
00:11:25,869 --> 00:11:27,099
Dig your curiosity.

330
00:11:27,099 --> 00:11:27,159
Yeah.

331
00:11:27,369 --> 00:11:29,619
As a very cutesy, yeah.

332
00:11:29,619 --> 00:11:29,629
Yeah.

333
00:11:30,009 --> 00:11:30,579
Uh, so

334
00:11:30,579 --> 00:11:32,049
do we, do we know, did we say who?

335
00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:33,969
That we know these people
that wrote this letter or No.

336
00:11:34,749 --> 00:11:37,689
So anytime we tell a story
here, it's anonymous.

337
00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:40,909
Unless they tell us to say who they
are, we don't ever talk about who.

338
00:11:40,959 --> 00:11:41,444
So yeah.

339
00:11:41,444 --> 00:11:42,464
I would think Me too.

340
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:45,314
'cause I am, I can't, I can, uh,

341
00:11:45,814 --> 00:11:47,674
I'm really good at
starting that conversation.

342
00:11:47,734 --> 00:11:49,534
I'm, you know, those I loved.

343
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,909
To have those kind of
conversations because he is right.

344
00:11:53,909 --> 00:11:56,099
If I'm attracted to
you, I'm gonna ask that.

345
00:11:56,489 --> 00:11:56,759
Yeah.

346
00:11:56,999 --> 00:11:58,109
Like, so what's up?

347
00:11:58,294 --> 00:11:59,624
What is y'all's, you know, what

348
00:11:59,624 --> 00:12:00,104
does y'all, it's funny.

349
00:12:00,104 --> 00:12:03,629
Say it's funny because you, you
were always that type of person.

350
00:12:03,634 --> 00:12:03,864
Mm-hmm.

351
00:12:04,244 --> 00:12:05,664
Before I was mm-hmm.

352
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,099
When it came to other people just.

353
00:12:08,984 --> 00:12:10,754
Word vomiting out your,

354
00:12:10,784 --> 00:12:11,234
all the time,

355
00:12:11,234 --> 00:12:12,164
your questions

356
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:14,114
still do I a podcast right now.

357
00:12:14,114 --> 00:12:14,354
I

358
00:12:14,589 --> 00:12:17,414
love bug edits Would back, I would
sit back and I'd be like, oh my

359
00:12:17,414 --> 00:12:18,824
God, you did not just ask that.

360
00:12:19,664 --> 00:12:20,864
And it would always go off.

361
00:12:20,864 --> 00:12:25,124
Well, we, we'd have, we, it would
open into a, a great conversation.

362
00:12:25,304 --> 00:12:25,544
Yeah.

363
00:12:25,574 --> 00:12:29,234
But I remember we would go to meet
greets and you would meet people.

364
00:12:29,234 --> 00:12:29,384
Yeah.

365
00:12:29,384 --> 00:12:30,149
And it just blah.

366
00:12:30,149 --> 00:12:30,159
Yeah.

367
00:12:30,824 --> 00:12:32,054
And I'd be like, oh my God.

368
00:12:32,054 --> 00:12:33,764
She totally just said that.

369
00:12:34,064 --> 00:12:34,664
I'm me.

370
00:12:35,164 --> 00:12:37,354
I'm me and I am so, yeah.

371
00:12:37,474 --> 00:12:38,224
Unfiltered.

372
00:12:39,184 --> 00:12:40,294
And I'm not rude about it.

373
00:12:41,284 --> 00:12:42,274
No, you're not rude about it.

374
00:12:42,364 --> 00:12:43,354
That's why it always works out.

375
00:12:43,354 --> 00:12:43,414
I'm

376
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:43,744
curious.

377
00:12:43,749 --> 00:12:43,929
I'm curious.

378
00:12:43,934 --> 00:12:44,849
It's just curiosity, curious.

379
00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:45,249
Curiosity.

380
00:12:45,249 --> 00:12:51,034
But that's where I learned that it's
okay to say the uncomfortable thing

381
00:12:51,034 --> 00:12:54,694
out loud, and that's really where I
started learning that people actually

382
00:12:54,694 --> 00:12:58,444
appreciate a lot of times when you
say the uncomfortable thing out loud.

383
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:58,534
Mm-hmm.

384
00:12:58,609 --> 00:13:02,794
Because it releases a lot of pressure
from their end, they're carrying

385
00:13:02,894 --> 00:13:06,074
this weight, they know that they
have somebody attached to them.

386
00:13:06,194 --> 00:13:06,494
Yeah.

387
00:13:06,764 --> 00:13:10,604
Whenever we have our unicorn
friends come with us to the club.

388
00:13:10,634 --> 00:13:10,694
Yeah.

389
00:13:11,194 --> 00:13:15,564
I make it a point to always let them know,
Hey look, you're not tied down to us.

390
00:13:15,654 --> 00:13:16,224
Exactly.

391
00:13:16,224 --> 00:13:19,554
You go have your fun, you go talk
to whomever, like we're all going

392
00:13:19,554 --> 00:13:21,054
together and you've got a safe space.

393
00:13:21,054 --> 00:13:21,144
Mm-hmm.

394
00:13:21,444 --> 00:13:25,494
And you can tag along with us as
much as you want, but you do not have

395
00:13:25,494 --> 00:13:27,954
to stay by our side the whole time.

396
00:13:28,014 --> 00:13:28,314
Right.

397
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:33,234
And I know people have come up to us and
we've introduced our friend to whomever.

398
00:13:33,414 --> 00:13:35,204
And people will assume.

399
00:13:35,654 --> 00:13:35,804
Yeah.

400
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:36,344
Whatever.

401
00:13:36,344 --> 00:13:36,404
Yeah.

402
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,719
You know, and that's.

403
00:13:38,219 --> 00:13:38,769
It happens.

404
00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:39,729
Yeah, it does.

405
00:13:39,729 --> 00:13:41,619
But if you're really curious,
you should just say it.

406
00:13:41,829 --> 00:13:42,129
Yeah.

407
00:13:42,129 --> 00:13:42,189
Yeah.

408
00:13:42,519 --> 00:13:44,799
Just be like, Hey, this is what it is.

409
00:13:45,479 --> 00:13:48,954
I, I am really interested and just
do it, like whoever the bubblier

410
00:13:49,134 --> 00:13:54,054
of the couple and just be like,
I'm really curious, what is this?

411
00:13:54,144 --> 00:13:55,104
What's going on here?

412
00:13:55,314 --> 00:13:55,434
Yeah.

413
00:13:55,434 --> 00:14:01,674
And if you're in text, even easier,
like be like, are y'all all?

414
00:14:01,704 --> 00:14:03,264
Do y'all swing all of y'all?

415
00:14:03,264 --> 00:14:05,454
Or you know, make it fun.

416
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:06,444
Yeah.

417
00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:07,164
Yeah.

418
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:10,264
Now you know that that's the only
thing is that you wanna make sure

419
00:14:10,264 --> 00:14:13,864
that you respect, obviously their,
their boundaries, their agreements.

420
00:14:14,194 --> 00:14:18,514
If they are in a poly situationship
or whatever the, you know,

421
00:14:18,514 --> 00:14:19,954
whatever they say they are.

422
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:20,074
Mm-hmm.

423
00:14:20,584 --> 00:14:22,474
You have to respect that, obviously.

424
00:14:22,474 --> 00:14:22,534
Yeah.

425
00:14:22,804 --> 00:14:26,614
And that's why you want to find
out upfront, I, if you ask, it's,

426
00:14:26,704 --> 00:14:28,084
you're coming off as respectful.

427
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:31,679
If you don't ask, then you're just
gonna, you're either gonna throw

428
00:14:31,679 --> 00:14:32,789
yourself out there or you're not.

429
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,749
So I say just say the thing.

430
00:14:36,079 --> 00:14:36,739
You know what I mean?

431
00:14:36,829 --> 00:14:37,579
Just say the thing.

432
00:14:37,584 --> 00:14:38,054
Word vomit.

433
00:14:38,364 --> 00:14:39,294
Yeah, word vomited.

434
00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:40,999
It works for us all the time.

435
00:14:41,029 --> 00:14:41,959
It really does actually.

436
00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:43,429
We have some great conversations.

437
00:14:43,519 --> 00:14:43,579
Yeah.

438
00:14:43,579 --> 00:14:47,929
And you know, it's the lifestyle
we should, we, we need to make

439
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,009
sure that we're doing that.

440
00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:49,789
That's the norm.

441
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:55,939
To make those uncomfortable conversations
be the absolute only conversation

442
00:14:55,939 --> 00:14:59,179
you have if you have it upfront and.

443
00:14:59,614 --> 00:15:01,294
Everyone will be done guessing.

444
00:15:01,294 --> 00:15:02,344
There's no guest game,

445
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:02,804
yeah.

446
00:15:02,864 --> 00:15:03,194
It is.

447
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:03,944
It's all there.

448
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,534
We're in the lifestyle for a reason.

449
00:15:05,534 --> 00:15:06,734
We all wanna have fun.

450
00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:07,644
That's true.

451
00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,734
Let's find out what
kind of fun we can have.

452
00:15:10,824 --> 00:15:12,714
Let's find out what
kind of fun we can have.

453
00:15:12,714 --> 00:15:12,774
Yeah.

454
00:15:13,284 --> 00:15:16,284
So I hope that that, uh, answers
your question there, my friend.

455
00:15:16,284 --> 00:15:18,974
I know you're listening and hopefully
that that takes care of that.

456
00:15:18,974 --> 00:15:20,684
Now I wanna move on to something new here.

457
00:15:21,614 --> 00:15:21,704
What?

458
00:15:21,704 --> 00:15:21,884
Yeah.

459
00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:22,279
Well, you know.

460
00:15:22,779 --> 00:15:26,469
I wanted to bring up the fact
that you have been exceptionally

461
00:15:26,469 --> 00:15:28,779
horny the past couple of weeks.

462
00:15:28,869 --> 00:15:29,559
I have.

463
00:15:29,569 --> 00:15:31,069
There's been a switch

464
00:15:31,159 --> 00:15:31,399
Yes.

465
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:32,479
Uh, on you.

466
00:15:32,479 --> 00:15:32,569
Yes.

467
00:15:32,869 --> 00:15:36,109
That's been turned on and it's
like you can't get enough.

468
00:15:36,139 --> 00:15:36,439
Yeah.

469
00:15:36,889 --> 00:15:39,619
And I think that's frigging awesome.

470
00:15:39,799 --> 00:15:40,279
Yeah.

471
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:44,959
I think it's my estrogen patch
and also I've had some real good

472
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:48,109
mental conversations with myself.

473
00:15:48,609 --> 00:15:52,929
And am feeling better about myself.

474
00:15:52,959 --> 00:15:53,229
Yeah.

475
00:15:53,559 --> 00:15:54,729
You know, you glow more.

476
00:15:54,729 --> 00:15:54,789
Yeah.

477
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:55,994
You seem to have a, a

478
00:15:55,994 --> 00:15:56,914
different kind of energy.

479
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:57,074
Yeah.

480
00:15:57,074 --> 00:15:57,939
I feel better about myself.

481
00:15:57,939 --> 00:16:05,379
I feel better about our relationship and
I feel like I'm just, just a bit happier.

482
00:16:05,679 --> 00:16:08,949
So you mind like, chipping off a little
bit of what, what you've been having

483
00:16:08,949 --> 00:16:10,569
these mental conversations about.

484
00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:12,909
Like, so what's, uh, what's going on?

485
00:16:12,969 --> 00:16:16,229
I have things sometimes that trigger me.

486
00:16:16,829 --> 00:16:21,739
They trigger me into a really
bad headspace of Polly.

487
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:22,489
Yeah.

488
00:16:22,729 --> 00:16:23,749
The Polly days.

489
00:16:23,779 --> 00:16:23,989
Yeah.

490
00:16:24,469 --> 00:16:27,639
And I don't care for the Polly days.

491
00:16:28,419 --> 00:16:28,599
Yeah.

492
00:16:28,599 --> 00:16:29,079
No.

493
00:16:29,079 --> 00:16:30,909
Anybody that listens to the podcast knows

494
00:16:30,909 --> 00:16:32,489
that wasn't my thing.

495
00:16:32,639 --> 00:16:32,999
Yeah.

496
00:16:33,269 --> 00:16:35,084
And so something happened
or something came up.

497
00:16:35,584 --> 00:16:40,684
From that area, from that time,
and it triggered me into like

498
00:16:41,254 --> 00:16:43,384
just triggering, just spiraling.

499
00:16:43,884 --> 00:16:44,634
And I was like,

500
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:45,764
put the brakes, huh?

501
00:16:45,764 --> 00:16:46,544
Hold up.

502
00:16:47,044 --> 00:16:49,174
Let me ask my husband this question.

503
00:16:50,044 --> 00:16:51,904
Are there any feelings there?

504
00:16:52,624 --> 00:16:54,754
Are there any romantic feelings there?

505
00:16:54,754 --> 00:16:54,814
Yeah.

506
00:16:55,804 --> 00:16:56,554
And he said no.

507
00:16:57,054 --> 00:16:58,164
And I was like, okay.

508
00:16:59,034 --> 00:16:59,514
Cool.

509
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:04,914
Went back to washing dishes and
then that was something, and then

510
00:17:04,914 --> 00:17:08,094
like something else, I saw a text
or something and I was like, damn.

511
00:17:08,154 --> 00:17:08,574
Oh no.

512
00:17:08,574 --> 00:17:15,054
I was on TikTok and I saw this
video about emotional cheating.

513
00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:16,074
The emotional cheating.

514
00:17:16,074 --> 00:17:16,284
Yeah.

515
00:17:16,289 --> 00:17:16,329
Yeah.

516
00:17:16,329 --> 00:17:17,009
We had a talk about that.

517
00:17:17,039 --> 00:17:17,329
Yeah.

518
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:18,169
And then.

519
00:17:18,669 --> 00:17:20,739
I had seen an emotional cheating.

520
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:21,309
What is it?

521
00:17:21,309 --> 00:17:21,939
What is it baby?

522
00:17:22,689 --> 00:17:28,909
Uh, emotional cheating is according to
what we read, it's, it's when you go

523
00:17:28,909 --> 00:17:34,159
out and basically spend your time with
other people instead of your partner.

524
00:17:34,159 --> 00:17:35,599
You, you tell them Yeah.

525
00:17:35,599 --> 00:17:36,859
How much you miss them.

526
00:17:36,859 --> 00:17:37,149
And you,

527
00:17:37,314 --> 00:17:37,724
it's lot of

528
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:38,644
say, yeah, it's a lot.

529
00:17:38,884 --> 00:17:39,644
A conversations or people

530
00:17:39,904 --> 00:17:40,124
are

531
00:17:40,124 --> 00:17:40,564
very romantic.

532
00:17:41,074 --> 00:17:42,604
It's pretty, pretty explanatory.

533
00:17:42,704 --> 00:17:42,924
Yes.

534
00:17:43,424 --> 00:17:49,534
That I saw something and it triggered
me again, and I was like, damn, no.

535
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:49,594
No.

536
00:17:50,094 --> 00:17:54,014
And I was kind of, kind of
a little cold that week.

537
00:17:54,044 --> 00:17:54,104
Oh

538
00:17:54,524 --> 00:17:54,884
yeah.

539
00:17:55,064 --> 00:17:57,464
I was just like, not like in my head.

540
00:17:57,524 --> 00:17:58,934
I was literally in my head,

541
00:17:59,054 --> 00:18:00,254
oh, you were on Mars.

542
00:18:00,494 --> 00:18:03,314
I was talking to a I about it.

543
00:18:03,974 --> 00:18:09,824
I was talking to my friend about
it and I was like, this is not me.

544
00:18:10,754 --> 00:18:11,954
I, this is not gonna be me.

545
00:18:12,704 --> 00:18:16,244
And then I sat back and I was like, huh.

546
00:18:16,744 --> 00:18:20,014
I asked my husband a question and
my husband answered me honestly.

547
00:18:20,514 --> 00:18:30,144
And then I was like, this man is never
ever going to ruin this relationship.

548
00:18:30,699 --> 00:18:30,919
No.

549
00:18:31,179 --> 00:18:31,599
At all.

550
00:18:32,299 --> 00:18:32,519
No,

551
00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:34,324
He's never gonna ruin this relationship.

552
00:18:34,824 --> 00:18:38,624
Because I'm a really great wife.

553
00:18:39,014 --> 00:18:39,314
Yeah.

554
00:18:39,464 --> 00:18:41,654
I'm an exceptional wife.

555
00:18:41,714 --> 00:18:42,164
Yeah.

556
00:18:43,094 --> 00:18:44,174
Am I jealous?

557
00:18:44,804 --> 00:18:45,704
Fuck yes.

558
00:18:46,394 --> 00:18:48,344
Am I territorial at times?

559
00:18:48,464 --> 00:18:48,944
Totally.

560
00:18:48,944 --> 00:18:49,514
Fuck yes.

561
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,824
Am I mean to my husband sometimes?

562
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:53,174
Yes.

563
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:54,284
So much, so much.

564
00:18:54,284 --> 00:18:54,584
Yes.

565
00:18:55,089 --> 00:18:55,309
I'm,

566
00:18:55,379 --> 00:18:56,029
it's so bad.

567
00:18:56,529 --> 00:18:57,099
So bad,

568
00:18:57,279 --> 00:18:58,749
But I get to have sex with other women, so

569
00:18:59,139 --> 00:18:59,619
no.

570
00:19:00,024 --> 00:19:05,004
But I love him more than any
of those other little things.

571
00:19:05,594 --> 00:19:07,394
I do like making fun of him.

572
00:19:08,294 --> 00:19:08,534
True,

573
00:19:09,254 --> 00:19:09,704
I do.

574
00:19:10,124 --> 00:19:14,504
And now that I'm getting older, I'm
a little spicier and it's so much

575
00:19:14,564 --> 00:19:20,494
fun and he knows my superpower,
so he lets me do whatever I want.

576
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:21,284
Yeah,

577
00:19:21,554 --> 00:19:21,844
Yeah.

578
00:19:22,199 --> 00:19:23,789
So I, I love him.

579
00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:24,899
I love him so much.

580
00:19:24,899 --> 00:19:29,659
And so I sat back and I was thinking
about that and I was like, have that

581
00:19:29,659 --> 00:19:33,489
uncomfortable conversation with your man
' cause he knows something's bothering you.

582
00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:37,499
I was like, damn, let me
get my words together.

583
00:19:38,249 --> 00:19:39,689
I have really bad A DHD.

584
00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:43,694
And so it takes me a while
to get the words to you.

585
00:19:43,964 --> 00:19:45,974
Like it takes you a while to find my mood.

586
00:19:45,974 --> 00:19:48,344
It takes me a while to ha be in the mood.

587
00:19:48,524 --> 00:19:49,574
Yeah, man.

588
00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:49,904
I know.

589
00:19:49,904 --> 00:19:53,444
'cause I was asking you, I gave you so
many opportunities to come out with it

590
00:19:53,444 --> 00:19:55,124
because I knew something was bothering you

591
00:19:55,364 --> 00:19:56,354
and I'm dropping hints.

592
00:19:56,504 --> 00:19:56,534
Oh,

593
00:19:57,494 --> 00:19:58,244
blatant, please.

594
00:19:58,244 --> 00:19:58,304
We

595
00:19:58,304 --> 00:19:59,474
should do a show about,

596
00:19:59,474 --> 00:20:02,594
and I'm like, you do you
have something to say to me?

597
00:20:02,894 --> 00:20:03,764
And she was like, no.

598
00:20:04,034 --> 00:20:06,329
And he, he's very talking
about patient with me because

599
00:20:06,479 --> 00:20:06,889
like, okay.

600
00:20:07,389 --> 00:20:10,589
Some people just give up, like
they don't wanna know, like

601
00:20:10,589 --> 00:20:12,239
they're like, uh, whatever.

602
00:20:12,974 --> 00:20:15,594
And you know, I know you
you're my soulmate man.

603
00:20:15,594 --> 00:20:16,734
Like, you're my best friend.

604
00:20:16,734 --> 00:20:17,694
I know you,

605
00:20:17,699 --> 00:20:18,029
you do.

606
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:22,014
And I know when something's bothering you
and especially when it lasts a long time.

607
00:20:22,044 --> 00:20:22,314
Yeah.

608
00:20:22,404 --> 00:20:24,594
It kind of reminded me of
the days when we were poly.

609
00:20:24,774 --> 00:20:25,044
Yeah.

610
00:20:25,164 --> 00:20:26,244
How disconnected

611
00:20:26,244 --> 00:20:26,574
you were.

612
00:20:26,574 --> 00:20:30,804
I was too overwhelmed and it kind of
started after my birthday and it just kind

613
00:20:30,804 --> 00:20:35,574
of, I was just festering feelings of, I
really wanna have a conversation with him.

614
00:20:35,874 --> 00:20:38,814
I really need to figure out
why I'm feeling like this.

615
00:20:39,534 --> 00:20:40,014
And.

616
00:20:40,959 --> 00:20:45,479
I sat back and I was like, holy
shit, why are you so fucking scared?

617
00:20:45,509 --> 00:20:47,009
He going nowhere.

618
00:20:47,849 --> 00:20:52,019
He is not gonna, if you talk to
him and you tell him exactly how

619
00:20:52,019 --> 00:20:55,879
you're feeling and it's gonna
be fine, it's gonna be great.

620
00:20:56,719 --> 00:20:58,869
And so we did.

621
00:20:59,704 --> 00:21:00,044
We did.

622
00:21:00,339 --> 00:21:03,009
We had a really good conversation

623
00:21:03,009 --> 00:21:03,609
that we did,

624
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,179
and then we fucked.

625
00:21:07,749 --> 00:21:08,649
So good

626
00:21:09,189 --> 00:21:09,999
that we did,

627
00:21:10,239 --> 00:21:17,599
and ever since then, ooh, it has been
like, I don't know, not a, maybe a

628
00:21:17,599 --> 00:21:22,309
weight on my own shoulders because I
put so much pressure on myself to be.

629
00:21:22,809 --> 00:21:25,449
To hold everything in, to
hold all my feelings in.

630
00:21:25,449 --> 00:21:25,629
Oh man.

631
00:21:26,019 --> 00:21:27,459
And you know, that's the worst.

632
00:21:27,459 --> 00:21:28,839
'cause you don't have to do that.

633
00:21:28,839 --> 00:21:29,379
I don't.

634
00:21:29,649 --> 00:21:33,879
And I'm gonna tell you,
P-T-S-D-I was very reactive.

635
00:21:33,969 --> 00:21:37,329
He was very reactive to my reactiveness.

636
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:37,479
True.

637
00:21:38,319 --> 00:21:41,549
And so we would have arguments.

638
00:21:42,049 --> 00:21:45,949
They would be really hard arguments
because I couldn't, I didn't know how

639
00:21:45,949 --> 00:21:51,639
to get my words together, and so he
would, he was faster, and I was like,

640
00:21:51,639 --> 00:21:53,889
wait, am I getting my words across?

641
00:21:53,889 --> 00:21:57,789
I think it finally took some time
for me to finally say, or you to

642
00:21:57,789 --> 00:21:59,739
finally say, baby, just hold on.

643
00:22:00,239 --> 00:22:01,169
Take your time.

644
00:22:01,799 --> 00:22:05,319
I know you wanna argue your side,
but you're getting it all mixed up.

645
00:22:06,064 --> 00:22:07,714
Taught me how to argue with you.

646
00:22:08,214 --> 00:22:08,664
Yeah.

647
00:22:08,784 --> 00:22:09,084
Yeah.

648
00:22:09,084 --> 00:22:10,284
And now he doesn't like that.

649
00:22:10,884 --> 00:22:11,694
Oh no, you're good.

650
00:22:11,694 --> 00:22:12,204
You're good.

651
00:22:12,204 --> 00:22:13,464
You're good at arguing with me now.

652
00:22:13,464 --> 00:22:13,524
Yeah.

653
00:22:13,584 --> 00:22:14,544
And I'm on meds.

654
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:15,354
Yeah.

655
00:22:15,594 --> 00:22:17,784
But I didn't wanna have those
conversations with him 'cause I

656
00:22:17,784 --> 00:22:23,304
did not want him to feel like he
was causing me to feel that way.

657
00:22:23,334 --> 00:22:24,774
'cause he gets very heartbroken.

658
00:22:25,274 --> 00:22:26,354
I don't like hurting your feelings.

659
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:26,559
Yeah.

660
00:22:26,564 --> 00:22:26,574
Yeah.

661
00:22:26,574 --> 00:22:29,144
And so it kind of like shut
him down for a little bit.

662
00:22:29,144 --> 00:22:32,244
And I had to tell him, you
know, and it's it was nice.

663
00:22:32,244 --> 00:22:33,414
It was really good.

664
00:22:33,914 --> 00:22:35,414
Good conversations,

665
00:22:36,164 --> 00:22:41,604
you know, that's the thing about it
is, and even still, here we are, we're,

666
00:22:41,604 --> 00:22:43,614
we're we, what do we say in every show?

667
00:22:43,614 --> 00:22:44,334
Communication.

668
00:22:44,389 --> 00:22:44,679
Yeah.

669
00:22:44,814 --> 00:22:45,444
Communication.

670
00:22:45,444 --> 00:22:46,014
Communication.

671
00:22:46,014 --> 00:22:47,364
You gotta talk about everything.

672
00:22:47,864 --> 00:22:51,494
And even us, we have communication issues.

673
00:22:51,554 --> 00:22:51,764
Yeah.

674
00:22:51,924 --> 00:22:54,324
Because obviously she
couldn't drop it right away.

675
00:22:54,324 --> 00:22:56,784
She couldn't throw it at me
and I knew something was wrong.

676
00:22:56,784 --> 00:22:56,844
Yeah.

677
00:22:57,264 --> 00:23:00,324
And I would ask her, every single
time something came up, a big hint

678
00:23:00,324 --> 00:23:03,234
dropped and it was like, is there
something you want to tell me?

679
00:23:03,954 --> 00:23:04,194
No.

680
00:23:04,194 --> 00:23:04,314
No.

681
00:23:04,854 --> 00:23:05,904
I don't know what you're talking about.

682
00:23:06,474 --> 00:23:06,534
Yeah.

683
00:23:06,540 --> 00:23:07,614
And I was like, okay.

684
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:14,149
And, uh, you know, it, when it finally
came out, I was like, you know, I knew.

685
00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:19,554
And Yeah, I could have brought it up
just the same way as when we were poly.

686
00:23:19,764 --> 00:23:20,004
Yeah.

687
00:23:20,064 --> 00:23:22,284
And I knew you wanted to stop being poly.

688
00:23:22,284 --> 00:23:22,404
Yeah.

689
00:23:22,404 --> 00:23:23,244
I could have brought it up.

690
00:23:23,364 --> 00:23:24,744
But it needed to be you.

691
00:23:24,759 --> 00:23:25,179
Mm-hmm.

692
00:23:25,464 --> 00:23:27,654
It wasn't on me to push it out of you.

693
00:23:27,714 --> 00:23:28,914
It's on you to let it out.

694
00:23:29,004 --> 00:23:29,424
Yeah.

695
00:23:30,114 --> 00:23:33,504
And if you had kept it inside
for God knows how long we'd

696
00:23:33,504 --> 00:23:34,584
still be going on this.

697
00:23:34,734 --> 00:23:35,214
Yeah.

698
00:23:35,304 --> 00:23:36,144
This merry-go-round.

699
00:23:36,144 --> 00:23:37,059
And then, you know, when you get to that.

700
00:23:37,559 --> 00:23:39,809
I love Adam, like he is my soulmate.

701
00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:40,739
He's my partner.

702
00:23:40,739 --> 00:23:42,389
He my everything to me.

703
00:23:42,889 --> 00:23:46,369
But I didn't know how
to bring it up, right?

704
00:23:46,429 --> 00:23:49,609
And so the little hints, and
then after that I was like, oh.

705
00:23:50,109 --> 00:23:51,569
Oh, this was, this was easy.

706
00:23:51,839 --> 00:23:52,769
All right, cool.

707
00:23:53,249 --> 00:23:58,309
Oh, I was also gonna say he
didn't know what he was doing.

708
00:23:58,309 --> 00:23:58,849
Was hurt.

709
00:23:58,849 --> 00:24:01,119
Gonna hurt my feelings at all?

710
00:24:01,299 --> 00:24:01,959
I never do.

711
00:24:02,259 --> 00:24:02,589
Yeah.

712
00:24:03,189 --> 00:24:03,489
At all.

713
00:24:03,489 --> 00:24:06,279
Like, he didn't know, like
it wasn't a malicious thing.

714
00:24:06,999 --> 00:24:07,619
And so he

715
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:08,964
can't also help me walk 'cause
I can't be in your head.

716
00:24:09,889 --> 00:24:11,149
Whatever's triggering you.

717
00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:12,619
I don't know All of your triggers.

718
00:24:12,649 --> 00:24:13,129
Exactly.

719
00:24:13,129 --> 00:24:14,714
And I don't know what's gonna Yeah.

720
00:24:14,719 --> 00:24:16,039
And I don't even think you do.

721
00:24:16,039 --> 00:24:16,099
Yeah.

722
00:24:16,129 --> 00:24:16,939
Until it happens.

723
00:24:16,939 --> 00:24:17,629
Until it happens.

724
00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:21,409
And so once it happens, until
you tell me I have, yeah.

725
00:24:21,409 --> 00:24:21,439
I have no

726
00:24:21,439 --> 00:24:21,594
idea.

727
00:24:21,594 --> 00:24:23,179
And you know, it's not,
they're not arguments.

728
00:24:24,079 --> 00:24:25,069
We have that thing.

729
00:24:25,069 --> 00:24:28,219
Like if you didn't know, I understand.

730
00:24:28,219 --> 00:24:28,939
You didn't know.

731
00:24:29,439 --> 00:24:31,329
And so he knows now.

732
00:24:31,829 --> 00:24:32,119
Yeah.

733
00:24:32,589 --> 00:24:32,879
Yeah.

734
00:24:32,879 --> 00:24:35,844
But yeah, I feel like that's why
I feel so good, and I feel so.

735
00:24:36,344 --> 00:24:41,404
I want you every minute because
of my patch and my mental state.

736
00:24:42,094 --> 00:24:42,454
Yeah.

737
00:24:42,734 --> 00:24:44,474
And it kind of de-stresses me.

738
00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:47,414
So I, I do want to talk
about the patch for a second.

739
00:24:47,414 --> 00:24:50,534
'cause I know that there's a lot of women
out there who are going through menopause.

740
00:24:50,564 --> 00:24:50,894
Yeah.

741
00:24:50,984 --> 00:24:52,754
And you are currently
going through menopause.

742
00:24:52,754 --> 00:24:52,844
Yes.

743
00:24:53,204 --> 00:24:56,754
And you are on a, an estrogen patch.

744
00:24:56,814 --> 00:24:58,134
I'm on an estrogen patch

745
00:24:58,134 --> 00:24:59,064
that you have to change out what?

746
00:24:59,094 --> 00:24:59,574
Once a week

747
00:24:59,604 --> 00:25:00,924
I change out once a week.

748
00:25:00,954 --> 00:25:02,034
It's a little patch.

749
00:25:02,134 --> 00:25:03,994
And you have to wear it on your.

750
00:25:04,494 --> 00:25:06,294
Torso, your tors, somewhere on your torso.

751
00:25:06,624 --> 00:25:09,414
And so I always put it on the
side of my, you know, my belly.

752
00:25:09,924 --> 00:25:13,189
It's, it does it, you know, it gives
you, and it's a noticeable difference.

753
00:25:13,189 --> 00:25:13,429
Yeah.

754
00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:16,004
It, because it's a hormone
replacement therapy is what it is.

755
00:25:16,394 --> 00:25:20,024
Uh, it's the one my insurance
covers, and so that's the one I have.

756
00:25:20,534 --> 00:25:25,964
I prefer the patch because the the
oral meds like, cause blood clots.

757
00:25:26,464 --> 00:25:27,874
And forget about it.

758
00:25:27,874 --> 00:25:28,414
That's scary.

759
00:25:28,504 --> 00:25:29,164
I'd get one.

760
00:25:29,494 --> 00:25:29,734
Yeah.

761
00:25:29,734 --> 00:25:30,274
I, no,

762
00:25:30,424 --> 00:25:30,634
just,

763
00:25:30,814 --> 00:25:33,214
I think this one does too,
but it's lighter or something.

764
00:25:33,484 --> 00:25:33,664
Yeah.

765
00:25:33,784 --> 00:25:34,954
An estrogen.

766
00:25:35,464 --> 00:25:39,304
I'm taking estrogen, not progesterone
or whatever the other one is Roan.

767
00:25:40,174 --> 00:25:43,234
I don't know how to say it,
but he'll fix that part.

768
00:25:43,734 --> 00:25:44,394
I don't know how to say it.

769
00:25:44,394 --> 00:25:45,894
Just put it over my head somewhere.

770
00:25:46,394 --> 00:25:47,054
I don't Oh.

771
00:25:47,084 --> 00:25:50,404
Um, because I don't have a
uterus and I only have one ovary.

772
00:25:50,904 --> 00:25:51,834
Wanted estrogen.

773
00:25:51,834 --> 00:25:54,374
I don't have to take if you still
have a uterus, you have to do the

774
00:25:54,374 --> 00:25:58,344
other one with the PI dunno what it's
so yeah, it's, I think it's working.

775
00:25:58,434 --> 00:26:01,584
And so you, you had mentioned that
it raises my libido when you have

776
00:26:02,184 --> 00:26:03,774
the patch on, when, when you're

777
00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:04,374
Yeah.

778
00:26:04,374 --> 00:26:05,214
On hormones mm-hmm.

779
00:26:05,754 --> 00:26:06,234
That you.

780
00:26:06,734 --> 00:26:08,174
Your sex drive is higher.

781
00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:08,744
Yeah.

782
00:26:08,834 --> 00:26:10,724
And your want for it is, yeah.

783
00:26:10,724 --> 00:26:11,414
Is much higher.

784
00:26:11,474 --> 00:26:11,684
I mean,

785
00:26:11,684 --> 00:26:12,884
but also your emotions are

786
00:26:12,944 --> 00:26:15,344
Oh, my emotions are up and down.

787
00:26:15,404 --> 00:26:15,554
Yeah.

788
00:26:15,554 --> 00:26:20,294
You, I was crying like I was on a PMS and
Adam was just the biggest asshole ever.

789
00:26:20,534 --> 00:26:23,504
And why did I get married and, oh my God.

790
00:26:24,394 --> 00:26:26,344
To, oh my God, we built this.

791
00:26:26,344 --> 00:26:28,084
He is, oh my God, he's no.

792
00:26:28,759 --> 00:26:33,229
This is not how, like I went through that
in a matter of like 30 minutes, dude.

793
00:26:33,769 --> 00:26:35,059
Yeah, that sounds about right.

794
00:26:35,059 --> 00:26:37,379
So, I will tell you, I know my worth.

795
00:26:37,879 --> 00:26:38,149
Good.

796
00:26:38,239 --> 00:26:42,529
I know what value I bring
into this relationship.

797
00:26:43,279 --> 00:26:43,369
Good.

798
00:26:43,369 --> 00:26:43,939
I know.

799
00:26:44,039 --> 00:26:45,629
What a great wife I am.

800
00:26:45,629 --> 00:26:46,799
What a great woman I am.

801
00:26:46,799 --> 00:26:48,839
What a great mom I am.

802
00:26:48,959 --> 00:26:52,259
I know that without anybody
telling me any of that.

803
00:26:52,759 --> 00:26:58,219
And I know my partner and I'm gonna
trust, he's always making a good

804
00:26:58,219 --> 00:27:03,489
decision when he is doing whatever,
and I'm always at the front of his

805
00:27:03,489 --> 00:27:05,649
head, like I'm always there, you know?

806
00:27:06,149 --> 00:27:06,749
Right there.

807
00:27:07,079 --> 00:27:07,379
Yeah.

808
00:27:07,449 --> 00:27:09,669
I love him and I know that he loves me.

809
00:27:09,849 --> 00:27:12,159
And so I think that's putting
me in a better mood because we

810
00:27:12,159 --> 00:27:13,659
have those good conversations.

811
00:27:14,579 --> 00:27:17,879
I may not like him next week, but today.

812
00:27:18,854 --> 00:27:20,624
I love the guts outta him.

813
00:27:20,624 --> 00:27:21,224
That's the patch.

814
00:27:21,224 --> 00:27:21,614
Talking.

815
00:27:21,704 --> 00:27:22,034
There you go.

816
00:27:22,034 --> 00:27:23,804
That's just the patch
talking guys, don't worry.

817
00:27:24,464 --> 00:27:25,334
We're gonna have sex later.

818
00:27:25,334 --> 00:27:25,904
It'll be fine.

819
00:27:26,024 --> 00:27:26,084
Yeah.

820
00:27:26,594 --> 00:27:29,134
Uh, you know, it's funny because.

821
00:27:29,634 --> 00:27:33,174
I wanted to, to bring all of this up
because this is our relationship mm-hmm.

822
00:27:33,414 --> 00:27:34,019
This podcast mm-hmm.

823
00:27:34,284 --> 00:27:35,544
Is our relationship.

824
00:27:35,544 --> 00:27:35,814
And we really

825
00:27:35,819 --> 00:27:36,619
don't talk about our sex lives

826
00:27:36,619 --> 00:27:36,939
right now.

827
00:27:36,959 --> 00:27:38,104
And, and we really don't.

828
00:27:38,104 --> 00:27:42,484
But, you know, it's, it's good to discuss
these things because, uh, you know, we're

829
00:27:42,484 --> 00:27:45,484
always telling people, oh yeah, we've been
through this and we've been through that.

830
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:46,984
We still go through it.

831
00:27:46,984 --> 00:27:50,374
It's 15 years later and
we still go through it.

832
00:27:50,374 --> 00:27:52,684
There's still things that we're
learning about each other.

833
00:27:52,684 --> 00:27:57,304
There's still things that have to
come up that we have to work on, and.

834
00:27:57,709 --> 00:27:58,879
It's effort, man.

835
00:27:58,969 --> 00:27:59,029
Yeah.

836
00:27:59,029 --> 00:28:01,729
Like the moment you stop giving
that effort towards each other

837
00:28:01,999 --> 00:28:05,119
is the moment that you start
giving up on your relationship.

838
00:28:05,124 --> 00:28:05,574
Bye-bye.

839
00:28:05,719 --> 00:28:07,459
And if you're gonna do that.

840
00:28:08,104 --> 00:28:09,994
The lifestyle is not
gonna work out for you.

841
00:28:09,999 --> 00:28:10,189
Mm-hmm.

842
00:28:10,289 --> 00:28:10,989
So, correct.

843
00:28:11,044 --> 00:28:15,334
You know, the basis of this
lifestyle is your relationship.

844
00:28:15,574 --> 00:28:15,694
Mm-hmm.

845
00:28:15,934 --> 00:28:17,764
And how strong you can keep it.

846
00:28:17,884 --> 00:28:17,974
Mm-hmm.

847
00:28:18,214 --> 00:28:21,424
And communicate, man,
communicate all the way.

848
00:28:21,574 --> 00:28:22,234
And so I did

849
00:28:22,384 --> 00:28:22,984
all the way.

850
00:28:23,249 --> 00:28:25,104
And, and so that's, that's where we're at.

851
00:28:25,104 --> 00:28:26,754
You know, it's, she's feeling great.

852
00:28:27,054 --> 00:28:27,144
Yes.

853
00:28:27,144 --> 00:28:27,234
She's

854
00:28:27,504 --> 00:28:28,284
doing awesome.

855
00:28:28,764 --> 00:28:30,564
And because of that, I'm doing awesome.

856
00:28:30,654 --> 00:28:32,154
Happy wife, happy life.

857
00:28:32,364 --> 00:28:32,694
Correct.

858
00:28:32,694 --> 00:28:33,264
As they say.

859
00:28:33,414 --> 00:28:33,834
That's correct.

860
00:28:33,924 --> 00:28:35,274
And so yeah, we're.

861
00:28:35,844 --> 00:28:36,504
Living it up.

862
00:28:37,004 --> 00:28:39,254
All right, let's go ahead
and land this plane.

863
00:28:39,254 --> 00:28:44,144
If you find yourself in this situation,
uh, that we talked about earlier today,

864
00:28:44,564 --> 00:28:48,684
uh, you meet couples, play partner,
you vibe, you're wondering what to do.

865
00:28:48,684 --> 00:28:51,114
Remember that that person is not a prize.

866
00:28:51,624 --> 00:28:54,804
They're not automatically off
limits, but they're also not

867
00:28:54,804 --> 00:28:55,949
yours to pursue without some.

868
00:28:56,449 --> 00:28:57,109
Thoughtfulness.

869
00:28:57,439 --> 00:28:57,979
Yeah.

870
00:28:58,429 --> 00:28:59,419
Get to know them.

871
00:28:59,419 --> 00:29:00,349
Let them lead.

872
00:29:00,349 --> 00:29:03,799
Have the conversation when the
time is right and the pressure is

873
00:29:04,339 --> 00:29:04,399
low.

874
00:29:04,399 --> 00:29:04,429
Oh

875
00:29:04,969 --> 00:29:05,419
yeah.

876
00:29:05,599 --> 00:29:08,919
And if it works out, be
transparent with everyone involved.

877
00:29:09,459 --> 00:29:09,609
Yeah.

878
00:29:09,609 --> 00:29:10,599
And if it doesn't be cool.

879
00:29:10,839 --> 00:29:11,079
Mm-hmm.

880
00:29:11,619 --> 00:29:13,149
Lifestyle's built on community and trust.

881
00:29:13,149 --> 00:29:13,869
Says everything.

882
00:29:14,049 --> 00:29:14,829
Yeah, it does.

883
00:29:15,129 --> 00:29:17,829
And a big shout out to our
friend for sending this.

884
00:29:18,654 --> 00:29:23,064
This is exactly the kind of real life
situation we wanna talk about on our show.

885
00:29:23,184 --> 00:29:24,414
So keep them coming guys.

886
00:29:25,074 --> 00:29:28,104
Yeah, if you've got a topic, a question
or something you wanna get off your

887
00:29:28,104 --> 00:29:31,794
chest, head to www on monogamy.com.

888
00:29:31,944 --> 00:29:35,514
All of our episodes, blogs, events,
merch, and the anonymous confessional

889
00:29:35,514 --> 00:29:36,894
are right there waiting for you.

890
00:29:36,954 --> 00:29:38,154
We read them.

891
00:29:38,214 --> 00:29:38,964
You've heard it?

892
00:29:39,264 --> 00:29:39,474
Yes.

893
00:29:39,534 --> 00:29:40,374
We use them.

894
00:29:40,929 --> 00:29:42,159
Zero judgment.

895
00:29:43,144 --> 00:29:43,434
Okay.

896
00:29:43,934 --> 00:29:47,924
And we are live every Thursday
on full swap radio.com.

897
00:29:47,924 --> 00:29:51,364
Two shows, 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central.

898
00:29:51,864 --> 00:29:54,264
Come hang out, get in the chat.

899
00:29:54,804 --> 00:29:56,514
Be part of the conversation.

900
00:29:56,814 --> 00:29:57,474
Yeah.

901
00:29:58,299 --> 00:30:01,989
Now if this one hit home, share it with
someone who actually needs to hear it.

902
00:30:02,529 --> 00:30:07,899
Leave us a review on Apple or Spotify that
genuinely helps more people find the show

903
00:30:08,349 --> 00:30:13,029
and subscribe so you never miss a quickie
or a full episode dropping every Sunday.

904
00:30:13,479 --> 00:30:15,819
Uh, and with that, we thank
you guys for listening and we

905
00:30:15,819 --> 00:30:17,049
will see you guys next week.

906
00:30:17,409 --> 00:30:18,159
Bye.