Compersion Isn’t Automatic: Jealousy, Growth & Real Non-Monogamy

1
00:00:07,184 --> 00:00:10,664
Alright y'all, before we
dive in, a quick heads up.

2
00:00:11,164 --> 00:00:14,134
This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated pg.

3
00:00:14,944 --> 00:00:19,684
We're talking about adult themes, sexual
content, and the kind of stuff you

4
00:00:19,684 --> 00:00:24,034
probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kits.

5
00:00:24,634 --> 00:00:28,504
So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice and get comfy.

6
00:00:28,804 --> 00:00:35,014
Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not
licensed therapists, counselors, or sex.

7
00:00:35,434 --> 00:00:36,244
Couches.

8
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,164
Sex coaches.

9
00:00:38,374 --> 00:00:40,384
Sex coaches, not sex couches

10
00:00:40,884 --> 00:00:45,144
or just a couple of people sharing our
lives, experiences and sexy adventures.

11
00:00:45,234 --> 00:00:47,124
An ethical non-monogamy.

12
00:00:47,394 --> 00:00:51,644
So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

13
00:00:51,644 --> 00:00:51,734
And.

14
00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:54,820
Hello and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

15
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:55,360
I'm Adam.

16
00:00:55,450 --> 00:00:56,340
And I'm Pris.

17
00:00:56,830 --> 00:01:01,810
And today on our little Wednesday quickie
here I am going to, um, I wanted to talk

18
00:01:01,810 --> 00:01:07,070
about something that one of our guests
mentioned, and I'm probably gonna jump

19
00:01:07,070 --> 00:01:10,220
around to different little subjects, but
this one right here, this one hit a nail.

20
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,335
Okay, let's do it.

21
00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:11,345
So

22
00:01:11,845 --> 00:01:17,845
we're gonna be discussing
how compersion and how those

23
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:20,725
feelings kind of overthrow you.

24
00:01:20,725 --> 00:01:21,925
So like how do.

25
00:01:22,425 --> 00:01:25,755
When you have feelings and you don't
know how to express them, and your other

26
00:01:25,755 --> 00:01:27,945
partner pretty much is not understanding.

27
00:01:28,635 --> 00:01:31,545
Yeah, I, I think I, I understand where
you're getting with this because what,

28
00:01:31,575 --> 00:01:38,355
what we were basically talking about was
in this particular situation, people come

29
00:01:38,355 --> 00:01:43,735
into the ethical, non-monogamous space
and they hear compersion, compersion,

30
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:46,535
and oftentimes they hear compersion.

31
00:01:46,570 --> 00:01:52,355
From people who are more advanced Y
or maybe don't struggle with jealousy.

32
00:01:52,355 --> 00:01:52,415
Yeah.

33
00:01:52,685 --> 00:01:53,675
Something that's natural.

34
00:01:53,675 --> 00:01:55,415
It's not natural to everybody.

35
00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:55,745
Yeah.

36
00:01:55,745 --> 00:01:59,255
And I think that's the problem that a
lot of people are forgetting is that

37
00:01:59,255 --> 00:02:02,225
compersion is not natural to everything.

38
00:02:02,225 --> 00:02:02,705
Exactly.

39
00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:06,275
And so I wanted to talk about like the.

40
00:02:06,665 --> 00:02:07,865
The fear

41
00:02:08,255 --> 00:02:09,035
of it all.

42
00:02:09,455 --> 00:02:13,115
Now, for those who are just tuning
into us, what exactly is compersion?

43
00:02:13,615 --> 00:02:19,105
So compersion is feeling
happiness for your partner.

44
00:02:19,675 --> 00:02:22,465
So it is, it's like.

45
00:02:22,965 --> 00:02:26,745
When Adam has a fun
time, I'm happy for him.

46
00:02:26,745 --> 00:02:28,245
Like I'm happy that he's having that.

47
00:02:28,635 --> 00:02:35,295
I'm compassionate about his feelings
and I guess I'm understanding of it,

48
00:02:35,565 --> 00:02:36,225
is that Yeah, yeah.

49
00:02:36,225 --> 00:02:39,165
Well, so the actual definition
is compersion is the

50
00:02:39,195 --> 00:02:41,085
feeling of joy or happiness.

51
00:02:41,085 --> 00:02:45,675
One experiences from seeing a loved one,
especially a romantic partner, happy.

52
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,750
Particularly in their intimate
connections with others, often

53
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:51,610
described as the opposite of jealousy.

54
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:55,810
But we know that that's not
necessarily the opposite of jealousy.

55
00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:55,990
No.

56
00:02:55,990 --> 00:03:03,330
So I, I do not have compersion for my
husband, and it takes a lot of, and I'm

57
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,830
assuming that I don't always have it.

58
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:10,560
I just, 90% of the time I have no
compersion for whatever you are doing.

59
00:03:11,170 --> 00:03:13,390
It takes a lot.

60
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:23,510
Of self-reflection to have a tiny
grain of com compersion for you.

61
00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:27,770
I've seen that, and it's so funny because
we've had these conversations before.

62
00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:29,210
You and I are so different on this.

63
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,910
We are, yeah, because I am, I, I've think

64
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:32,990
I've told you this before,

65
00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:34,330
it's the predator.

66
00:03:34,830 --> 00:03:34,960
I dunno.

67
00:03:35,485 --> 00:03:36,385
It stopped.

68
00:03:36,475 --> 00:03:37,105
That was weird.

69
00:03:37,705 --> 00:03:41,985
I think I've told you this before
though, that the way I view it

70
00:03:41,985 --> 00:03:44,475
is a win for you is a win for us.

71
00:03:44,565 --> 00:03:44,925
Yeah.

72
00:03:45,165 --> 00:03:50,265
So if you have, say there's
a, I don't know, a, a fantasy

73
00:03:50,445 --> 00:03:53,445
that you have and somebody.

74
00:03:54,225 --> 00:03:58,365
Comes along who can get you
to experience that fantasy or

75
00:03:58,365 --> 00:03:59,955
give you a great experience.

76
00:04:00,555 --> 00:04:03,045
And I'm not involved in it in any way.

77
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:03,585
Yeah.

78
00:04:04,085 --> 00:04:05,225
I'm cool with it.

79
00:04:05,225 --> 00:04:06,215
Like I'm happy for you.

80
00:04:06,215 --> 00:04:08,405
I'm like, oh shit, you
got your experience.

81
00:04:08,405 --> 00:04:08,975
Good for you.

82
00:04:08,975 --> 00:04:09,845
I mean, bummer.

83
00:04:09,845 --> 00:04:11,045
It wasn't me that did it, but

84
00:04:11,765 --> 00:04:12,425
okay, cool.

85
00:04:12,695 --> 00:04:14,405
I do the bummer.

86
00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:15,155
It wasn't me.

87
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:15,785
You did it.

88
00:04:15,995 --> 00:04:16,685
Period.

89
00:04:17,185 --> 00:04:17,725
Period.

90
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:21,355
So like, and you focus on that and I focus
on that instead of the way it's like.

91
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,180
Yeah.

92
00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:26,290
It's like, well, if you wanted to
pursue that, if you wanted to do that,

93
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,760
I, we could have done it together.

94
00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:31,340
So that's where I go like, why
didn't you just try it with me?

95
00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:32,510
And why didn't, why wasn't it?

96
00:04:32,570 --> 00:04:36,140
What am I, why didn't
it happen with, with me?

97
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:37,340
When you have all this.

98
00:04:38,135 --> 00:04:39,995
All this awesomeness at your hands.

99
00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:40,890
Yeah, yeah.

100
00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:40,950
You

101
00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:45,230
have all this greatness right beside you.

102
00:04:45,730 --> 00:04:48,430
With that being said, why
are we even in the lifestyle?

103
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:48,760
Yeah.

104
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,260
No, I mean, exactly.

105
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:54,400
I mean, with that kind of mentality
of thinking, there's no reason why

106
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,840
we should even be non-monogamous.

107
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:59,380
It's, um, like I have the perfect partner
and I have everything that I need.

108
00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:01,660
Why do I need to experience anything else?

109
00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:01,750
It's

110
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:02,440
even not, it's, um.

111
00:05:02,765 --> 00:05:04,025
I wanna be the first.

112
00:05:04,055 --> 00:05:04,325
Right?

113
00:05:04,325 --> 00:05:05,525
So that was a lot of the things.

114
00:05:05,525 --> 00:05:08,165
I wanna be the first, I wanna
be the first, but talking

115
00:05:08,165 --> 00:05:09,335
about the compersion part,

116
00:05:09,515 --> 00:05:09,665
yeah.

117
00:05:09,725 --> 00:05:14,455
I couldn't I didn't know how to, I, I
can't, it doesn't come naturally to me.

118
00:05:14,935 --> 00:05:15,325
No.

119
00:05:15,745 --> 00:05:22,825
Jealousy, territorial, possessiveness
comes very naturally to me.

120
00:05:23,275 --> 00:05:29,395
And to kind of sit back and
find those, those winning.

121
00:05:29,895 --> 00:05:31,875
Oh, you want feelings?

122
00:05:32,135 --> 00:05:34,235
Is hard sometimes for me.

123
00:05:34,235 --> 00:05:34,745
It's hard.

124
00:05:34,865 --> 00:05:35,195
Yeah.

125
00:05:35,315 --> 00:05:37,295
Because you would rather see me unhappy.

126
00:05:37,355 --> 00:05:37,775
No.

127
00:05:37,775 --> 00:05:38,345
And with you?

128
00:05:38,435 --> 00:05:39,395
No, not even that.

129
00:05:39,895 --> 00:05:40,375
Um,

130
00:05:40,705 --> 00:05:44,335
I'd rather you be miserable of me than
having a good time with other people.

131
00:05:45,025 --> 00:05:45,535
Period.

132
00:05:46,035 --> 00:05:48,225
Wait, what did our first
guest, what did I last guest?

133
00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:49,785
Just say, I mean,

134
00:05:49,785 --> 00:05:50,565
gratitude,

135
00:05:50,685 --> 00:05:52,030
gratitude, gratitude.

136
00:05:52,275 --> 00:05:52,545
It's

137
00:05:52,595 --> 00:05:54,370
you show gratitude to the fact that.

138
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:56,010
They show the affection to you.

139
00:05:56,010 --> 00:05:56,190
Yeah.

140
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,820
What I wanted to say is I've
learned to navigate through that,

141
00:05:59,820 --> 00:06:04,020
so I wanted to let everybody know
that it's, it's a very hard thing.

142
00:06:04,470 --> 00:06:05,940
And is it cultural?

143
00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:06,990
It could be.

144
00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:08,460
It could be very cultural.

145
00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:08,910
I think it

146
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:09,870
exists in every culture.

147
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:09,990
It

148
00:06:09,990 --> 00:06:14,580
does exist in every culture, but I
wanna say for me, it is cultural.

149
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:18,720
For me, it was something that
I saw my parents go through.

150
00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:22,620
My mom was a very jealous,
possessive, controlling person.

151
00:06:23,435 --> 00:06:25,145
But my dad allowed that.

152
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:26,945
My dad embraced that.

153
00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:28,175
My dad liked that.

154
00:06:28,715 --> 00:06:32,075
Um, so I have both of
those qualities in me.

155
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:36,875
I like when my partner is jealous,
but I am also a very jealous person.

156
00:06:37,385 --> 00:06:37,655
Yeah.

157
00:06:37,715 --> 00:06:41,705
But in the 15 years that we've been
together and the time that we've

158
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:45,575
been in the lifestyle, I wanna
say that I have finally grown.

159
00:06:46,075 --> 00:06:48,055
I finally understand.

160
00:06:48,555 --> 00:06:50,175
I don't always have to have it.

161
00:06:50,205 --> 00:06:57,605
I don't have to have compersion, I don't
have to always throw balloons and have

162
00:06:57,605 --> 00:06:59,975
a party on every win that you have.

163
00:07:00,395 --> 00:07:00,605
Yeah.

164
00:07:00,635 --> 00:07:01,510
I just have to be.

165
00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:02,790
Okay with it.

166
00:07:03,165 --> 00:07:04,365
I have to you,

167
00:07:04,545 --> 00:07:05,365
you to be okay with yourself.

168
00:07:05,565 --> 00:07:06,900
I have to be okay with myself.

169
00:07:06,930 --> 00:07:12,710
I have to figure out why am I feeling
jealous at the moment if it's a jealousy.

170
00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:18,320
Or like yesterday we, we were
driving to the club and Adam said,

171
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:21,290
so what did you think about today?

172
00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:22,520
Because we had a play date.

173
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,020
We had a morning play.

174
00:07:24,085 --> 00:07:25,220
We had a morning play with a woman.

175
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:25,460
Yeah.

176
00:07:25,510 --> 00:07:29,230
And so that, that was the, the part that
I was kind of struggling with because.

177
00:07:29,730 --> 00:07:31,410
We've had play dates with.

178
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:36,630
Other guys with other couples
and you know, you're in this

179
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,490
for your experience with women.

180
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:38,670
Mm-hmm.

181
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:42,450
So oftentimes whenever we've
had experiences and you're with

182
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:46,140
a guy, it's not normally the
greatest, it's pretty average.

183
00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:48,240
And you're like, well, you know,
you're the best that I've ever had.

184
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,070
So like it's no big deal.

185
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:50,310
Okay.

186
00:07:50,335 --> 00:07:50,415
Whatever.

187
00:07:50,915 --> 00:07:54,875
But this particular play date was
one that doesn't happen very often.

188
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,425
And that was literally just a
threesome with another woman.

189
00:07:57,665 --> 00:07:57,815
Yeah.

190
00:07:57,815 --> 00:07:59,615
And a woman that we like as a friend.

191
00:07:59,735 --> 00:07:59,945
Yeah.

192
00:08:00,005 --> 00:08:02,795
And a woman who's very good at the sex.

193
00:08:02,855 --> 00:08:03,035
Yeah.

194
00:08:03,095 --> 00:08:07,895
And it was, you know, I was
pretty happy about the experience.

195
00:08:07,925 --> 00:08:08,165
Yeah.

196
00:08:08,225 --> 00:08:12,035
And so I was looking forward to
having this conversation with you.

197
00:08:12,155 --> 00:08:12,425
Yeah.

198
00:08:12,815 --> 00:08:14,255
And you never brought it up.

199
00:08:14,405 --> 00:08:15,965
And it, I never brought
it up, wasn't discussed.

200
00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:18,895
And so we're driving and you're like.

201
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,460
You know, it's kind of hard to have
a conversation with you about this

202
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:27,530
because, and I could tell that it was
a disappointment and we talked about it

203
00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:29,930
and you're like, yeah, you know, I, I,
you know, I wanted to share it with you.

204
00:08:30,515 --> 00:08:31,115
I get so my

205
00:08:31,115 --> 00:08:35,600
thing was like, I was like, I
obviously I wanna share with you

206
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,160
when I've had good experiences.

207
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:37,220
Yeah.

208
00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:40,880
'cause you're my best friend and you're
my wife and I wanna tell you, oh yeah.

209
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:41,570
I enjoyed this.

210
00:08:41,570 --> 00:08:44,780
And I had, because I. You're my champion.

211
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,910
You're, you're supposed
to be cheering me on.

212
00:08:46,910 --> 00:08:47,720
You're supposed to be like you.

213
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:48,560
That's freaking great.

214
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,460
I'm so happy for you.

215
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,270
And so I wanna be able to come tell
my best friend, Hey, I did this, or

216
00:08:53,270 --> 00:08:54,380
I did that, and I had a great time.

217
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:54,440
Yeah.

218
00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:58,820
And then we had this play date,
and I thought that you were

219
00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:00,020
gonna be excited about it.

220
00:09:00,020 --> 00:09:02,120
I thought there was gonna be
a lot of good conversation.

221
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,300
Oh, I, I enjoyed myself and
this, and, and I asked you.

222
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,430
I was like, how did it go
and what did you think?

223
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:08,395
And you were like, it's good.

224
00:09:09,035 --> 00:09:09,335
Yeah.

225
00:09:09,455 --> 00:09:13,750
And it was literally, it was like asking
my teenager how school was, it was

226
00:09:13,755 --> 00:09:13,895
good.

227
00:09:13,985 --> 00:09:14,435
It was fine.

228
00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:14,945
Yeah.

229
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:18,845
You know, it was, it was such
an just, you were not present.

230
00:09:19,145 --> 00:09:20,135
It was not in the moment

231
00:09:20,135 --> 00:09:25,215
and it's not I said that and then you
stopped and I could feel the air change.

232
00:09:25,215 --> 00:09:27,435
And then I was like, I was bummed.

233
00:09:27,465 --> 00:09:28,215
You were bummed.

234
00:09:28,215 --> 00:09:30,855
And then we talked about
that, and I was like, okay.

235
00:09:31,355 --> 00:09:35,385
And so I had to break my thing, but
it and so for that situation, it

236
00:09:35,385 --> 00:09:37,575
was a fun situa, it was a fun date.

237
00:09:37,875 --> 00:09:39,345
It was a fun playtime.

238
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:40,215
It was great.

239
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:43,665
The energy is, she likes both of us.

240
00:09:44,155 --> 00:09:45,355
We all had an orgasm.

241
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:46,200
It was an ideal

242
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:47,640
situation of us came.

243
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:47,880
It was

244
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:47,890
great.

245
00:09:47,995 --> 00:09:50,545
It had nothing to do with the situation.

246
00:09:51,085 --> 00:09:52,845
I just.

247
00:09:53,655 --> 00:09:56,295
Another, I'm in another world constantly.

248
00:09:56,355 --> 00:10:01,125
I, when I have time to just think,
I'm thinking about everything.

249
00:10:01,365 --> 00:10:03,645
I'm thinking about, did I water my plants?

250
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,075
I'm thinking about, geez, did
I water my plants at work?

251
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:07,785
Oh man, I have to go back to work today.

252
00:10:07,785 --> 00:10:12,285
Did I do my, I have a shit ton
of things, so there is no room in

253
00:10:12,285 --> 00:10:14,595
there for me to have a conversation

254
00:10:15,375 --> 00:10:15,895
about and see, but see, that's

255
00:10:16,395 --> 00:10:17,595
the tough part, but that's a tough
part because you're not present.

256
00:10:17,595 --> 00:10:20,040
So that's what I'm saying,
after you and I talked Yeah.

257
00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:21,530
You said that to me.

258
00:10:21,530 --> 00:10:22,790
I was like, oh, shit.

259
00:10:22,910 --> 00:10:23,360
Okay.

260
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:30,380
Now in my head, I am going to make
a compartment for conversations like

261
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:36,100
that because one, I wanna have, I
wanna break out of my shell of always

262
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:41,830
thinking and overthinking things that
have nothing to do with the situation.

263
00:10:42,340 --> 00:10:42,640
Right.

264
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:43,565
I don't, I didn't understand.

265
00:10:43,745 --> 00:10:43,965
So

266
00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:47,645
like, I am trying, like I, I, I
have a DHD, so I'm trying to like.

267
00:10:48,145 --> 00:10:48,835
In the moment.

268
00:10:48,835 --> 00:10:51,595
I'm trying to think of the
moment that you and I are having.

269
00:10:52,045 --> 00:10:52,075
Okay.

270
00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:56,745
So like, I'm not gonna, I'm
really trying to compartmentalize

271
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,725
every situation in my head.

272
00:10:58,965 --> 00:10:59,145
Yeah.

273
00:10:59,175 --> 00:11:02,895
So now I have a little
compartment in there that says,

274
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,935
boo Bear wants to talk about

275
00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:06,195
fun

276
00:11:06,195 --> 00:11:06,315
stuff.

277
00:11:06,445 --> 00:11:08,905
Yeah, because it's, I mean,
that's the idea, rocket.

278
00:11:08,905 --> 00:11:09,325
It's a turn.

279
00:11:09,540 --> 00:11:10,070
Turn on for you.

280
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:10,630
It is.

281
00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:11,310
It's a turn.

282
00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:11,830
So.

283
00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:15,210
That's where I am gonna
have more compassion.

284
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:15,630
Yeah.

285
00:11:15,660 --> 00:11:21,000
And I'm gonna be more grateful that we
can have these experiences together.

286
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:21,480
Yeah.

287
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:25,090
But I wanted to like, let you know that,
that it's, it's not, and let other people

288
00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:26,990
know that it's a growing situation.

289
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:32,265
So like you really have
to stop and figure out.

290
00:11:33,140 --> 00:11:37,100
Yeah, like your thoughts
have to be intentional.

291
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:43,280
You have to engage, and that's one thing
that I struggle with a lot is not having.

292
00:11:44,195 --> 00:11:45,395
Compersion, but it's okay.

293
00:11:45,635 --> 00:11:47,165
It's okay to not have Yeah.

294
00:11:47,855 --> 00:11:51,275
Compersion because as you can
see, we are still happily married.

295
00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:51,905
Right, honey?

296
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:52,030
Yeah.

297
00:11:52,035 --> 00:11:52,175
Yeah.

298
00:11:52,175 --> 00:11:54,415
We're both I'm not miserable at all.

299
00:11:54,490 --> 00:11:55,075
No, no.

300
00:11:55,075 --> 00:11:55,285
We,

301
00:11:55,285 --> 00:11:55,795
we are.

302
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:56,590
He's not miserable.

303
00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:59,755
You are actually, you know, legitimately
we are in a happy relationship.

304
00:11:59,755 --> 00:11:59,995
Yeah.

305
00:11:59,995 --> 00:12:03,295
And it's taken some
compromises from both of us.

306
00:12:03,325 --> 00:12:03,625
Yes.

307
00:12:03,715 --> 00:12:05,425
Uh, where we both have
to meet in the middle.

308
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:08,335
You give up some, I give up
some and we meet in the middle.

309
00:12:08,545 --> 00:12:09,415
And, and it's possible.

310
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:10,615
And it's communication.

311
00:12:10,675 --> 00:12:11,635
And it's communication.

312
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:11,950
And.

313
00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:19,130
I also have to be very grateful and
understanding that he has grown.

314
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:23,750
Adam has grown because after the play
session we did not talk about it.

315
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:29,330
He waited for a specific time to
bring up the conversation because

316
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:32,810
he felt You already knew that I
wasn't in the mood to talk about it.

317
00:12:32,990 --> 00:12:34,145
Yeah, no, it was, it was, um,

318
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:38,710
from the moment that it ended and
it wasn't, it was me processing.

319
00:12:39,415 --> 00:12:43,705
It was just me processing and the fact
that you understood that is very nice.

320
00:12:43,705 --> 00:12:43,975
Thank you.

321
00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:45,310
Oh, you're welcome.

322
00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:46,510
Like you could read the room.

323
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:51,570
Well, I had to, and you know, the,
my, the person, you know, I knew from

324
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:55,530
that point on that I was gonna talk to
you about it because I wanna be able

325
00:12:55,530 --> 00:12:57,240
to talk to you about my experiences.

326
00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:57,570
Yeah.

327
00:12:57,670 --> 00:12:59,800
We do the friends with benefits dynamic.

328
00:12:59,800 --> 00:12:59,860
Yeah.

329
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,700
And so if I have experiences with
other people without you, there.

330
00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:07,620
I wanna feel comfortable enough to
talk to you about it, because if

331
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,710
I don't talk to you about it, I'm
gonna end up keeping it inside.

332
00:13:10,765 --> 00:13:12,295
And if I keep that inside

333
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:12,510
mm-hmm.

334
00:13:12,805 --> 00:13:14,575
I'm gonna start keeping
other stuff inside too.

335
00:13:14,635 --> 00:13:14,695
Yeah.

336
00:13:14,695 --> 00:13:16,315
I'm gonna stop talking
to you about things.

337
00:13:16,315 --> 00:13:16,375
Yeah.

338
00:13:16,435 --> 00:13:18,505
And before you know it, we're not
talking about who we're talking

339
00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:21,145
to, we're not talking about the
conversations that we're having.

340
00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:21,205
Yeah.

341
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:25,075
And it just becomes habit to
not be as open with each other.

342
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:25,225
Yeah.

343
00:13:25,255 --> 00:13:26,545
And I just don't want to go back to that.

344
00:13:26,545 --> 00:13:26,815
Yeah.

345
00:13:27,175 --> 00:13:29,035
That's not, it's not a fun experience.

346
00:13:29,395 --> 00:13:31,495
And, you also asked me.

347
00:13:31,995 --> 00:13:33,585
He and I are very different.

348
00:13:33,705 --> 00:13:34,725
We are very different.

349
00:13:34,875 --> 00:13:35,025
Yeah.

350
00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:38,025
I, I love the lifestyle.

351
00:13:38,175 --> 00:13:40,365
I have no problem with the lifestyle.

352
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:41,805
I love playing.

353
00:13:41,835 --> 00:13:44,325
I love having different experiences.

354
00:13:44,325 --> 00:13:46,665
I love sharing them with my partner.

355
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,735
I love sharing them with my friends.

356
00:13:49,005 --> 00:13:49,485
This is breaking

357
00:13:49,610 --> 00:13:51,855
nothing, nothing about that.

358
00:13:52,355 --> 00:13:54,395
Do not have sex on my mind.

359
00:13:54,395 --> 00:13:56,045
24 7. Do I?

360
00:13:56,195 --> 00:13:57,065
Do we have a podcast?

361
00:13:57,065 --> 00:13:57,275
Yes.

362
00:13:57,275 --> 00:13:57,845
Do we have show?

363
00:13:57,875 --> 00:13:58,565
Yes.

364
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:06,685
But I am thinking about 10,000 other
things at the same time, so if you get me

365
00:14:06,685 --> 00:14:09,790
in a very sexual mentality, good for you.

366
00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:10,200
Good luck.

367
00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:10,840
Oh gosh.

368
00:14:11,030 --> 00:14:12,320
Okay, so yesterday

369
00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:16,990
randomly we're parked and he
looks over at me and he says.

370
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,960
Do you not lust over

371
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:19,590
anybody?

372
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:23,220
Well, so like, you gotta understand
there was, there was a frustration.

373
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:27,210
So we're sitting there in this empty
car in front of a sex club waiting

374
00:14:27,210 --> 00:14:30,870
for them to open so we can go inside
and party and have sex with people.

375
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:31,380
Yeah.

376
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:32,550
And we're sitting there.

377
00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:32,615
Yeah.

378
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:33,870
And it's quiet.

379
00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:34,320
Yeah.

380
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,300
Like you could cut the
silence with a knife.

381
00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:39,750
And we're sitting there and I
can hear this whole conversation

382
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:42,135
playing out in my head and I know.

383
00:14:42,635 --> 00:14:45,845
That I lust after I have a list of women.

384
00:14:46,505 --> 00:14:46,685
Yeah.

385
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:48,575
And I, I do not.

386
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:52,415
And so like, I have a li there's, there
are women in my circle that I'm, yeah.

387
00:14:53,285 --> 00:14:55,115
I fantasize about her.

388
00:14:55,115 --> 00:14:57,155
Oh, I wanna be with her.

389
00:14:57,155 --> 00:14:57,785
Like, that's, yeah.

390
00:14:58,025 --> 00:15:00,725
Like I, I can pull out
names out of a hat easily.

391
00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:04,535
Uh, and I've tried to have
these conversations with you.

392
00:15:04,535 --> 00:15:04,895
It's like.

393
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:09,680
So if you could have sex with anybody
that, of the people that we know who

394
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:13,670
would you appeal to or who and, and
it's like, I've always gotten the

395
00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:16,070
same answer, which is, I don't know.

396
00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:16,670
Yeah.

397
00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:17,840
I don't think about that stuff.

398
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:17,850
Yeah.

399
00:15:17,895 --> 00:15:17,985
Like

400
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,445
what I do.

401
00:15:19,535 --> 00:15:22,025
So, and, and, and we've
had this conversation.

402
00:15:22,025 --> 00:15:23,195
You're like, now I feel like an asshole.

403
00:15:23,195 --> 00:15:24,785
And it's like, don't feel like an asshole.

404
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:28,055
I feel like an asshole, just because
I think about it and I have a thousand

405
00:15:28,055 --> 00:15:30,395
other things going through my brain.

406
00:15:30,425 --> 00:15:30,575
Yeah.

407
00:15:30,575 --> 00:15:31,310
But so do I.

408
00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:36,725
But the difference is, is that I push
it away because the sex is dopamine.

409
00:15:37,215 --> 00:15:39,120
The thought of sex is.

410
00:15:39,515 --> 00:15:44,315
It takes me away from reality,
which right now my reality is sex.

411
00:15:44,315 --> 00:15:45,365
It's this podcast.

412
00:15:45,365 --> 00:15:45,425
Yeah.

413
00:15:45,425 --> 00:15:46,690
It's the, the work that we created.

414
00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:48,605
And so for me it's very different.

415
00:15:48,635 --> 00:15:48,845
Yeah.

416
00:15:48,845 --> 00:15:49,385
For you it's, well,

417
00:15:49,385 --> 00:15:52,825
because Yeah, because I'm
managing so many other things.

418
00:15:52,855 --> 00:15:52,945
Yeah.

419
00:15:52,945 --> 00:15:57,655
So like, but so then we were talking
and I was like, no, I do lust over

420
00:15:57,655 --> 00:15:59,135
people, but it's in the moment.

421
00:15:59,635 --> 00:15:59,995
So we were

422
00:15:59,995 --> 00:16:01,375
at the club yesterday, right?

423
00:16:01,435 --> 00:16:03,085
And I was like, Ooh, okay.

424
00:16:03,355 --> 00:16:05,125
I would like to have sex with that person.

425
00:16:05,155 --> 00:16:06,835
I would like to have sex with that person.

426
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:07,525
Ooh, that would be good.

427
00:16:07,615 --> 00:16:07,675
So

428
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,755
I'm gonna stop you right there.

429
00:16:09,265 --> 00:16:09,565
Okay.

430
00:16:10,065 --> 00:16:13,245
If you were having those thoughts
last night, why didn't you openly

431
00:16:13,245 --> 00:16:15,015
talk to me about it in that moment?

432
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:15,930
I don't know.

433
00:16:16,260 --> 00:16:17,610
See, that's the problem that I have.

434
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,160
I, that's the problem
that I have, honestly.

435
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,630
So, and I, yeah.

436
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:24,630
Obviously we had this conversation
before we went into the club.

437
00:16:24,690 --> 00:16:24,870
Yeah.

438
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:28,230
You know, I am yearning
for you to communicate.

439
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:28,560
Yeah.

440
00:16:28,590 --> 00:16:30,480
Your lusts and your fantasies.

441
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,790
Like for the longest time I used
to ask you about your fantasies and

442
00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:33,660
you'd be like, I don't have one.

443
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:38,110
I just wanna be with you like I have now
I'm an asshole because I'm thinking about

444
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:39,730
somebody else and I wanna do something.

445
00:16:39,730 --> 00:16:42,250
So remind me when we're in
bed to tell you my fantasy.

446
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,620
'cause all no, because when we're
gonna lie in bed, you're gonna be

447
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,020
eating something and you're gonna
be going, uh, I don't remember

448
00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:48,370
what you're, I don't, I don't know.

449
00:16:48,370 --> 00:16:49,780
I can't think these things are fleeting.

450
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:50,230
They're gone.

451
00:16:50,230 --> 00:16:51,190
You're eating, you're cereal.

452
00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:56,140
If you don't tell me things in the moment,
you're not gonna remember 'em later.

453
00:16:56,205 --> 00:16:58,065
Do you want me to start now and No.

454
00:16:58,125 --> 00:16:59,110
Well, no, actually no.

455
00:16:59,415 --> 00:17:00,105
Thought it put in your ear.

456
00:17:00,165 --> 00:17:01,725
No, that's not gonna do me any good.

457
00:17:01,875 --> 00:17:03,525
I would've liked to have
known it last night.

458
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:03,615
Yeah.

459
00:17:03,915 --> 00:17:06,885
And had I known it last night,
I would've pushed for you to

460
00:17:06,885 --> 00:17:09,135
get your experiences instead.

461
00:17:09,135 --> 00:17:11,355
We're just sitting there
and we're people watching.

462
00:17:11,355 --> 00:17:14,625
Well, and I know I have
my eyes on certain people.

463
00:17:15,315 --> 00:17:18,585
But then I think that you don't
have your eyes on anybody and you're

464
00:17:18,585 --> 00:17:21,225
just attached to me, so obviously I
don't want to break away from you.

465
00:17:21,315 --> 00:17:21,645
Yeah,

466
00:17:21,705 --> 00:17:23,895
like there's a whole bunch
that just kind of points.

467
00:17:23,985 --> 00:17:24,045
Okay.

468
00:17:24,045 --> 00:17:25,035
Some arrows at me.

469
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:25,245
Yeah.

470
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,415
For being an asshole.

471
00:17:26,415 --> 00:17:27,230
For feeling the way I feel.

472
00:17:27,235 --> 00:17:28,230
I don't think you're an asshole.

473
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:31,755
Like I. I'm interested in this girl,
and I'm interested in that person, and

474
00:17:31,755 --> 00:17:33,015
I wanna do this and I wanna do that.

475
00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:35,795
And then I ask you and you're like
I just wanna be here with you.

476
00:17:36,485 --> 00:17:42,455
And I'm like, well, she, I am an
asshole husband that my wife only

477
00:17:42,455 --> 00:17:44,135
wants to experience things with me.

478
00:17:44,135 --> 00:17:47,645
And I'm over here going, oh, I don't
wanna be with that girl over there.

479
00:17:48,455 --> 00:17:48,575
Oh, you're

480
00:17:48,575 --> 00:17:49,715
such an asshole.

481
00:17:49,955 --> 00:17:50,835
This is what I'm saying.

482
00:17:51,305 --> 00:17:53,000
No, um, I'm gonna try
to get better at that.

483
00:17:53,675 --> 00:17:55,895
Now that I made myself a
little compartment for you.

484
00:17:56,015 --> 00:17:56,255
Yeah.

485
00:17:56,255 --> 00:17:59,015
It would be nice if you got, if
you got, like, you're, you're a

486
00:17:59,015 --> 00:18:02,645
great communicator, but there are
things that you do not communicate.

487
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:03,950
I don and that is one of them.

488
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:04,110
I just

489
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:06,575
don't, I I will do, I, I will
try to get better at that.

490
00:18:06,605 --> 00:18:11,055
I just don't it, it has to be,
and for me, it has to be brought

491
00:18:11,055 --> 00:18:13,100
up in a time where I'm not.

492
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:14,440
Stressed out,

493
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:15,670
but that's all the time.

494
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:16,480
No, and

495
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,105
like even when we don't have
stuff to worry about, I worry

496
00:18:19,105 --> 00:18:19,930
about You're worried about stuff.

497
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:20,200
Yeah.

498
00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:21,550
You are always stressed.

499
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:21,850
Yeah.

500
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,780
No, but I mean, like, I, I can paint
you a picture like we have to be in bed

501
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:31,480
and you're kind of touching me and then
you kind of like, ask me and that works.

502
00:18:31,885 --> 00:18:32,545
It works.

503
00:18:32,605 --> 00:18:33,685
It has worked before.

504
00:18:34,255 --> 00:18:37,530
I just have to really
learn to be more yeah know.

505
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:38,410
Okay, fine then.

506
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:38,650
Alright.

507
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,255
It doesn't always, well anyway, you

508
00:18:40,255 --> 00:18:42,835
used to say that about
talking about it during sex.

509
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:42,970
Yeah.

510
00:18:43,285 --> 00:18:46,405
And then I would try and talk to you
about stuff during sex and there's

511
00:18:46,405 --> 00:18:49,375
been times where I have to read the
room and I'm like, yeah, she doesn't

512
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:50,395
want to talk about that right now.

513
00:18:50,455 --> 00:18:51,805
Is it at six in the morning?

514
00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:53,860
It's whenever we're having sex.

515
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:55,150
I mean, pick a time.

516
00:18:55,270 --> 00:18:55,390
All

517
00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:55,570
right.

518
00:18:55,570 --> 00:18:56,980
You know, it doesn't really matter.

519
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:59,590
I was gonna try to do a little bit better,

520
00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:01,570
but, oh, so you, now you're
giving up because I can't

521
00:19:01,570 --> 00:19:02,830
have a conversation with you.

522
00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:06,280
So this is the problem you
understand, and this is what a

523
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,870
lot of couples have issues with.

524
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:08,080
Yeah.

525
00:19:08,235 --> 00:19:09,105
Is a shutdown.

526
00:19:09,165 --> 00:19:09,585
Yes.

527
00:19:09,585 --> 00:19:11,085
Because I don't agree with you.

528
00:19:11,085 --> 00:19:12,885
Then you're like, oh, well I tried.

529
00:19:13,335 --> 00:19:13,665
Screw it.

530
00:19:13,965 --> 00:19:14,095
Well, no, it's, you don't.

531
00:19:14,095 --> 00:19:14,415
No.

532
00:19:14,415 --> 00:19:16,575
You know, there are so many
divorces that are happening.

533
00:19:16,575 --> 00:19:17,055
It's not

534
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:21,225
in the lifestyle because people
do not listen to each other.

535
00:19:21,225 --> 00:19:22,365
Things shut down.

536
00:19:22,545 --> 00:19:24,075
The communication does not happen.

537
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:24,100
Yeah.

538
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,250
I'm telling you that I'm
going to do better at it.

539
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:28,060
No, I understand

540
00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:28,270
that.

541
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:33,100
And because I'm interjecting to get you
what you're saying, to tell you why.

542
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,000
Well, we've tried this.

543
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:34,330
Yes.

544
00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:35,860
And it's a conversation.

545
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:41,410
So if I say something in conversation that
shouldn't be your number one reason to

546
00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:44,560
go, okay, well obviously this isn't gonna
work then, so I'm just not gonna do it.

547
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,050
Well, I mean, I've You're gonna say
it, but I'm not gonna talk about it.

548
00:19:47,050 --> 00:19:47,170
Yeah.

549
00:19:47,170 --> 00:19:51,370
But if you're gonna say that, then that's
your way of justifying not doing it.

550
00:19:52,105 --> 00:19:52,825
Do you understand?

551
00:19:53,005 --> 00:19:54,925
It's the negative connotation of it all.

552
00:19:54,925 --> 00:19:54,985
Yeah.

553
00:19:55,405 --> 00:19:58,645
You have this negative thought about
it and you're gonna put a negative spin

554
00:19:58,645 --> 00:20:00,325
to it, then you're not gonna do it.

555
00:20:00,445 --> 00:20:02,185
But I was doing a positive spin on it.

556
00:20:02,185 --> 00:20:03,625
And then you threw in your negative

557
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:03,865
spin.

558
00:20:03,865 --> 00:20:03,925
It.

559
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:07,315
I, I, I was having a conversation
we were having a conversation about.

560
00:20:07,315 --> 00:20:07,325
Mm-hmm.

561
00:20:07,385 --> 00:20:10,615
I didn't realize that I was
having to uplift you in that

562
00:20:10,615 --> 00:20:11,965
moment and go, oh, great.

563
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:12,745
You're gonna do this.

564
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:13,765
This is wonderful, Nat.

565
00:20:13,855 --> 00:20:14,155
Yes.

566
00:20:14,155 --> 00:20:15,955
No, we're having a conversation about it.

567
00:20:15,955 --> 00:20:16,225
Are we not?

568
00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:17,515
I think I need the uplifting.

569
00:20:18,415 --> 00:20:19,645
Well, you should have
said that from the start.

570
00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:21,175
I think that's great.

571
00:20:21,175 --> 00:20:24,025
I am so excited you're going
to make these changes and

572
00:20:24,025 --> 00:20:25,645
really, and realistically I do.

573
00:20:25,645 --> 00:20:28,705
I'm excited that you're gonna make
these changes because for people who

574
00:20:28,705 --> 00:20:32,245
are listening to this, this is airing
at the start of the new year, Uhhuh,

575
00:20:32,275 --> 00:20:34,855
or the end of 2025, the start of 2026.

576
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:40,955
And you and I, we always do our,
what we want to change for the year.

577
00:20:40,985 --> 00:20:43,565
There's always something that
we're, we're gonna focus on.

578
00:20:44,405 --> 00:20:45,665
Individually, yes.

579
00:20:45,665 --> 00:20:46,715
That we want to change.

580
00:20:46,835 --> 00:20:47,075
Yes.

581
00:20:47,075 --> 00:20:48,815
Because you blew my mind
with something that you said.

582
00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:49,445
What did I say?

583
00:20:50,405 --> 00:20:52,895
Because I told you that
I never reached my goals.

584
00:20:53,225 --> 00:20:53,345
Oh yeah.

585
00:20:53,345 --> 00:20:54,395
That I can't even know.

586
00:20:54,455 --> 00:20:56,285
I can't even tell you.

587
00:20:56,285 --> 00:20:57,845
Have I reached a goal yet?

588
00:20:58,055 --> 00:20:58,685
I have not.

589
00:20:59,185 --> 00:20:59,875
And you said,

590
00:21:00,655 --> 00:21:01,945
well, you just gotta do shorter goals.

591
00:21:02,035 --> 00:21:03,415
You are like, do little tiny goals.

592
00:21:03,415 --> 00:21:04,100
And I was like, ah,

593
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:05,020
you know what?

594
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:08,020
I view it as, you remember the old, uh.

595
00:21:08,965 --> 00:21:11,645
The Super Mario World on Super Nintendo.

596
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:11,765
Mm-hmm.

597
00:21:12,245 --> 00:21:16,985
And you had all of the, so you
could see the big castle far away.

598
00:21:17,135 --> 00:21:17,255
Yeah.

599
00:21:17,285 --> 00:21:20,135
But then you had all of these stops
that you had to go along the way.

600
00:21:20,135 --> 00:21:20,195
Yeah.

601
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:22,955
And every stop, you had to win at that.

602
00:21:23,045 --> 00:21:23,435
Yes.

603
00:21:23,435 --> 00:21:24,275
To move on to the next.

604
00:21:24,275 --> 00:21:24,545
Yes.

605
00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:25,975
It's the same thing with your goals.

606
00:21:26,425 --> 00:21:31,195
If you think of it as Super Mario
World, your goals, your main goal is

607
00:21:31,195 --> 00:21:34,465
way over there at that castle under,
and, you know, pass all those hills.

608
00:21:34,495 --> 00:21:35,005
Okay.

609
00:21:35,505 --> 00:21:38,655
Along the way, there's all these
little stops that you have to stop.

610
00:21:38,655 --> 00:21:38,715
Yeah.

611
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:39,855
Those are your shorter goals.

612
00:21:39,885 --> 00:21:40,125
Yeah.

613
00:21:40,185 --> 00:21:43,545
Those are the ones that you work on
in the moment that you try to attain,

614
00:21:43,815 --> 00:21:45,225
and once you attain them, you go.

615
00:21:45,675 --> 00:21:46,065
Got it.

616
00:21:46,245 --> 00:21:46,875
Moving on.

617
00:21:46,875 --> 00:21:47,415
Yeah, I like that.

618
00:21:47,415 --> 00:21:50,265
Let's move on to the next one, and
then you, before you know it, you're

619
00:21:50,265 --> 00:21:53,745
at the castle and you're looking
back and you're going, holy shit.

620
00:21:53,895 --> 00:21:54,435
I'm here.

621
00:21:54,555 --> 00:21:54,855
Yeah.

622
00:21:54,945 --> 00:21:55,575
I'm, I made it.

623
00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:55,810
Yeah.

624
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:59,925
And I've, I've knocked back a lot
of different things, you know, it

625
00:21:59,925 --> 00:22:02,415
just takes, it takes being present.

626
00:22:02,915 --> 00:22:04,895
That's the hard part for you.

627
00:22:04,895 --> 00:22:06,125
And I don't mean that in a negative way.

628
00:22:06,245 --> 00:22:06,635
It it does.

629
00:22:06,635 --> 00:22:07,655
No, that's not

630
00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:07,830
negative

631
00:22:08,135 --> 00:22:08,205
for me.

632
00:22:08,205 --> 00:22:10,265
You, you are, you are everywhere.

633
00:22:10,355 --> 00:22:12,005
Like you have a lot of
stuff that you're thinking

634
00:22:12,005 --> 00:22:12,125
about.

635
00:22:12,270 --> 00:22:12,470
I do.

636
00:22:12,650 --> 00:22:18,520
Um, and I hold myself at
a very high area like.

637
00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:19,720
What do you call that?

638
00:22:19,870 --> 00:22:20,860
My little pedestal on a

639
00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:21,430
pedestal?

640
00:22:21,550 --> 00:22:22,120
I don't know.

641
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:23,530
You put yourself on a pedestal.

642
00:22:23,530 --> 00:22:23,590
I

643
00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:24,520
put myself on a pedestal.

644
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,160
Like I wanna make sure that I'm doing
everything and I'm saying everything,

645
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,400
and that my work relationship is good.

646
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,630
My home relationship is good.

647
00:22:31,630 --> 00:22:35,960
My relationship with you is good
and so yeah, I have a lot of, dude,

648
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,760
you're talking to a perfectionist man.

649
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,040
I understand that.

650
00:22:39,070 --> 00:22:41,710
I, and I'm not saying that
I'm, I'm perfect at what I do.

651
00:22:41,770 --> 00:22:43,210
No, I'm saying internally.

652
00:22:43,270 --> 00:22:43,630
Yeah.

653
00:22:43,810 --> 00:22:44,770
I am a perfectionist.

654
00:22:44,770 --> 00:22:44,950
Yeah.

655
00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:46,930
I want to, I wanna do a great job.

656
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,280
I want do the best.

657
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,740
But there is something that I learned
as a musician throughout the years

658
00:22:53,180 --> 00:22:55,940
and I think you've heard me say
this whenever I've had to do a gig

659
00:22:55,940 --> 00:23:01,930
or I've had to sing for whoever you
can plan and practice and prepare.

660
00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:03,425
Only so much.

661
00:23:03,935 --> 00:23:07,415
And then when you're in the
moment, you have to be of mentality

662
00:23:07,415 --> 00:23:10,085
that things could go wrong.

663
00:23:10,415 --> 00:23:11,045
Yes.

664
00:23:11,375 --> 00:23:15,275
And if they go wrong, you
just dance your way out of it.

665
00:23:15,335 --> 00:23:15,665
Yeah.

666
00:23:15,905 --> 00:23:17,435
And you just keep moving.

667
00:23:17,585 --> 00:23:17,735
Yeah.

668
00:23:17,765 --> 00:23:21,855
Because I've had, I've, I've had
concerts where I've prepared, and

669
00:23:21,855 --> 00:23:24,195
things were perfect and in the moment.

670
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,590
At the performance, things
happened that screwed things up.

671
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:28,650
Yeah.

672
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:29,700
And it didn't go my way.

673
00:23:29,730 --> 00:23:29,820
Yeah.

674
00:23:29,820 --> 00:23:33,360
And I could have sat there and
I could have just made my life

675
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,550
just mourn this situation.

676
00:23:35,610 --> 00:23:35,820
Yeah.

677
00:23:35,910 --> 00:23:37,080
But it happens.

678
00:23:37,350 --> 00:23:38,190
It's just it.

679
00:23:38,340 --> 00:23:42,840
You work your way through it and
you move along and I think that you

680
00:23:42,870 --> 00:23:44,370
put a lot of pressure on yourself.

681
00:23:44,730 --> 00:23:45,450
I do.

682
00:23:45,450 --> 00:23:48,870
And so I am sometimes just not present.

683
00:23:49,275 --> 00:23:51,195
Like my brain just takes off.

684
00:23:51,285 --> 00:23:51,555
Yeah.

685
00:23:51,915 --> 00:23:56,205
And so I'm going to I made
myself a little compartment.

686
00:23:56,705 --> 00:23:57,545
It's in my brain.

687
00:23:57,815 --> 00:23:58,565
It's right here.

688
00:23:58,865 --> 00:23:59,705
It says boo bear.

689
00:24:00,205 --> 00:24:03,745
And I'm gonna try to be better.

690
00:24:03,745 --> 00:24:06,955
Like I, again, I do not always
have to have compersion.

691
00:24:07,465 --> 00:24:07,675
Yeah,

692
00:24:07,830 --> 00:24:08,120
yeah.

693
00:24:08,365 --> 00:24:12,955
I don't always have to
enjoy your wins out loud.

694
00:24:13,525 --> 00:24:13,735
True,

695
00:24:13,945 --> 00:24:22,130
but having conversations about 'em,
talking it through and just being open

696
00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:26,960
and trans and transparent is what I'm,
you know, it's what I'm really, I mean,

697
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:32,510
I'm already open and transparent, but
to bring that part of me to you Yeah.

698
00:24:32,540 --> 00:24:34,010
Is what I'm gonna really work on.

699
00:24:34,010 --> 00:24:34,370
So, you

700
00:24:34,370 --> 00:24:36,620
know, I think there's something
that, that's real pivotal

701
00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:38,690
for both of us to remember.

702
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:40,370
Every, every day.

703
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,540
And that's that you and I
are are just different Yeah.

704
00:24:44,570 --> 00:24:46,250
As, as similar as we are.

705
00:24:46,250 --> 00:24:47,420
And we are very similar.

706
00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:49,250
We're similar in so many aspects.

707
00:24:49,255 --> 00:24:49,305
Yeah.

708
00:24:49,310 --> 00:24:49,340
Yeah.

709
00:24:49,340 --> 00:24:50,960
But we are different.

710
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:53,995
We are different when it comes
to non-monogamy and mm-hmm.

711
00:24:54,110 --> 00:24:58,130
What our preferences are and what our
lifes are and, and what we don't like.

712
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,960
We're just different people and,

713
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,280
but we're different in a lot of things.

714
00:25:01,310 --> 00:25:01,730
Yes.

715
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,770
Like we are totally different.

716
00:25:03,770 --> 00:25:06,780
And it was so funny 'cause we were
talking about this last night, we're like.

717
00:25:07,295 --> 00:25:07,535
Wow.

718
00:25:07,535 --> 00:25:08,675
We're just so different.

719
00:25:08,705 --> 00:25:12,715
We are, we're different in
the way we raise our children.

720
00:25:12,715 --> 00:25:14,275
I mean, we do it together, right?

721
00:25:14,275 --> 00:25:17,545
So it took a lot of us talking
about it to get to this point.

722
00:25:18,235 --> 00:25:19,885
We raise our children differently.

723
00:25:19,885 --> 00:25:20,905
You have different values.

724
00:25:20,905 --> 00:25:22,135
I have different values.

725
00:25:22,135 --> 00:25:24,295
We clean the house differently.

726
00:25:24,685 --> 00:25:26,455
We do our laundry differently.

727
00:25:26,455 --> 00:25:28,645
We do a lot of things differently.

728
00:25:28,745 --> 00:25:29,195
What.

729
00:25:29,580 --> 00:25:32,310
What you feel is important isn't
the same thing that I feel is

730
00:25:32,310 --> 00:25:33,750
important, but we make it work.

731
00:25:33,750 --> 00:25:39,120
And if we make everything work at home, we
can make this work and it, it has worked.

732
00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:41,190
It has worked for this many years.

733
00:25:41,820 --> 00:25:43,200
I am not unhappy.

734
00:25:43,740 --> 00:25:45,750
I am in a very happy marriage.

735
00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:47,730
I'm in a very happy relationship.

736
00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:49,830
I'm very happy with myself.

737
00:25:49,860 --> 00:25:53,390
I'm very happy with my life, period.

738
00:25:53,890 --> 00:25:56,140
I could change some
things, but nothing here.

739
00:25:56,350 --> 00:25:57,040
Nothing here.

740
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,590
Like this is, this is, this
is 100 relationship good?

741
00:25:59,590 --> 00:26:00,160
Yeah.

742
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:00,170
Yeah.

743
00:26:00,220 --> 00:26:00,760
This is good.

744
00:26:01,150 --> 00:26:04,930
I could work to do better on
certain things and that is one of

745
00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:11,710
my goals for 2026 is to make little
tiny goals and that one right

746
00:26:11,710 --> 00:26:15,460
there is to be more open and not.

747
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,710
I see negativity in a lot of people,
and that's just a, that's just me.

748
00:26:19,710 --> 00:26:24,000
I see red flags in everybody, but when
somebody upsets me or when somebody

749
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,730
does something to that triggers me.

750
00:26:28,230 --> 00:26:32,610
I have to learn to just move past it and
not say, and not think, oh, they did that

751
00:26:32,610 --> 00:26:36,270
on purpose because had somebody known
that they did that, they wouldn't do that.

752
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:36,650
Right.

753
00:26:36,650 --> 00:26:39,860
And so, uh, there's a lot of stuff
that have been misunderstandings

754
00:26:39,860 --> 00:26:40,610
or miscommunications.

755
00:26:40,610 --> 00:26:40,670
Yeah.

756
00:26:41,650 --> 00:26:42,850
And for both of us Yeah.

757
00:26:42,910 --> 00:26:45,130
Where we've just been
like, well, screw this.

758
00:26:45,130 --> 00:26:46,090
I'm walking away from that.

759
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:46,210
Yeah.

760
00:26:46,210 --> 00:26:48,670
And it's like, oh, that
was a misunderstanding.

761
00:26:48,790 --> 00:26:49,090
Yeah.

762
00:26:49,090 --> 00:26:49,300
Okay.

763
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,300
And so, and because negative
things will stay with me

764
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:54,850
longer than the positive stuff.

765
00:26:55,090 --> 00:26:55,420
Yeah.

766
00:26:55,420 --> 00:26:59,020
Well, you know, that's really
something big to work on.

767
00:26:59,140 --> 00:27:00,460
Yeah, that's a big one.

768
00:27:00,460 --> 00:27:02,200
And I think it's totally doable.

769
00:27:02,710 --> 00:27:06,250
For me, the thing that I'm working
on this year, because a lot has

770
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:10,830
happened in this past year and
the podcast has really taken off.

771
00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:16,680
Things are changing and, uh, you know,
since getting laid off in August this

772
00:27:16,770 --> 00:27:22,380
entire world, the lifestyle world, the
podcast world, this is my home now.

773
00:27:22,470 --> 00:27:23,730
This is where I live, okay?

774
00:27:24,330 --> 00:27:26,405
And content creation and all of that.

775
00:27:26,905 --> 00:27:32,665
Evidently I have a little bit
of A-D-H-D-A little bit, and I

776
00:27:32,665 --> 00:27:34,045
struggle to focus a little bit.

777
00:27:34,045 --> 00:27:37,375
I struggle to get myself
my time management mm-hmm.

778
00:27:37,615 --> 00:27:38,455
Uh, on the level.

779
00:27:38,945 --> 00:27:46,640
And so that is my focus in 2026,
is to get myself 100% on a good.

780
00:27:47,335 --> 00:27:49,495
System, a time management system.

781
00:27:49,495 --> 00:27:53,645
I've already worked on my calendar
and I'm ready to get things going.

782
00:27:53,885 --> 00:27:53,975
Mm-hmm.

783
00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:57,245
Uh, also the other thing that
I'm adding to our Beyond Monogamy

784
00:27:57,245 --> 00:28:01,355
arsenal is that, I am getting
back, getting back on my bullshit.

785
00:28:01,405 --> 00:28:05,950
I'm actually, I'm getting back
into a, a healthier lifestyle.

786
00:28:06,010 --> 00:28:06,100
Yes.

787
00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:07,090
We both are.

788
00:28:07,150 --> 00:28:07,360
Yeah.

789
00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:12,130
For those of you who don't know,
when I turned 40, I lost a lot

790
00:28:12,130 --> 00:28:14,080
of weight because I got afraid.

791
00:28:14,380 --> 00:28:17,020
I had a lot of friends of mine
that were around my age that were

792
00:28:17,020 --> 00:28:18,460
starting to have like mm-hmm.

793
00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:22,060
Cardiac issues and high blood
pressure, and I was like, hell no.

794
00:28:22,060 --> 00:28:22,780
I need to fix this.

795
00:28:23,140 --> 00:28:25,220
I ended up, taking things very seriously.

796
00:28:25,220 --> 00:28:28,460
It became more of a, I don't
have a choice in this situation.

797
00:28:28,460 --> 00:28:32,660
And I started working out every single day
and I became very serious about my health

798
00:28:33,230 --> 00:28:37,710
and I lost over a hundred pounds and
things went great, and then I lost my job.

799
00:28:38,210 --> 00:28:43,130
This past year and things kind of
went into a chaotic whirlwind, uh,

800
00:28:43,130 --> 00:28:44,690
a fight or flight, if you will.

801
00:28:44,750 --> 00:28:47,810
And we eat our emotions.

802
00:28:47,870 --> 00:28:48,080
We

803
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:48,470
do,

804
00:28:48,470 --> 00:28:50,570
and we are an emotional people.

805
00:28:50,990 --> 00:28:54,230
And then something happens
when you eat bad food, it

806
00:28:54,230 --> 00:28:55,580
makes you want to stay in bed.

807
00:28:55,580 --> 00:28:58,730
It makes you want to not get
up in the mornings and it makes

808
00:28:58,730 --> 00:28:59,810
you not want to go to the gym.

809
00:29:00,140 --> 00:29:03,560
And then when you do that for a couple
of weeks, then it just becomes justified

810
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:04,910
and it's like, oh, this is me now.

811
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:05,480
Yes.

812
00:29:05,510 --> 00:29:05,660
Uh.

813
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:11,560
I am going to be, uh, bringing that
element into our content creation and

814
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:15,600
just kind of for those people who are
interested in a healthier, living,

815
00:29:15,870 --> 00:29:19,020
healthier lifestyle, maybe talking
about fitness and stuff like that.

816
00:29:19,050 --> 00:29:23,070
I'll have a little bit of that in there,
uh, on our YouTube channel and things like

817
00:29:23,070 --> 00:29:24,960
that from from a different standpoint.

818
00:29:25,630 --> 00:29:26,560
We're not professionals.

819
00:29:26,590 --> 00:29:27,670
We are not professionals.

820
00:29:27,670 --> 00:29:30,700
Not mean what works for us doesn't
mean it, it wouldn't work for

821
00:29:30,910 --> 00:29:31,210
anybody

822
00:29:31,210 --> 00:29:31,420
else.

823
00:29:31,420 --> 00:29:35,590
I, uh, but it's the same thing as
our experiences in non-monogamy.

824
00:29:35,620 --> 00:29:35,770
Yes.

825
00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:37,360
We are not professionals.

826
00:29:37,420 --> 00:29:37,480
No.

827
00:29:37,580 --> 00:29:40,370
This is our relationship
that you're listening to.

828
00:29:40,370 --> 00:29:41,420
This is our life.

829
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:41,600
We're

830
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:41,810
not

831
00:29:42,170 --> 00:29:44,030
couches, we are not sex couches.

832
00:29:44,060 --> 00:29:45,680
But you can sit on me anytime you want.

833
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:46,250
You know what I'm saying?

834
00:29:46,610 --> 00:29:47,240
Uh, you know.

835
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:54,045
What we do and how we do it
is it, it's the map for us.

836
00:29:54,045 --> 00:29:54,105
Yeah.

837
00:29:54,135 --> 00:29:57,585
And we're constantly erasing
and changing direction.

838
00:29:57,705 --> 00:29:57,885
Yes.

839
00:29:58,335 --> 00:30:02,985
And that's really the takeaway
if you're in a relationship, is

840
00:30:03,615 --> 00:30:06,465
what works for us may not work for
you, but you need to know that.

841
00:30:06,965 --> 00:30:08,675
There's no set of rules.

842
00:30:08,885 --> 00:30:09,845
You make the rules.

843
00:30:10,055 --> 00:30:11,195
Yes, this is your world

844
00:30:11,525 --> 00:30:15,185
and you and your partner don't
always have to have the same

845
00:30:15,485 --> 00:30:17,855
mindset, but you do have to agree.

846
00:30:17,975 --> 00:30:18,305
Yes,

847
00:30:18,425 --> 00:30:19,445
you have to agree.

848
00:30:19,445 --> 00:30:20,165
So, yeah.

849
00:30:20,195 --> 00:30:21,965
Yes, we lifestyle differently.

850
00:30:22,115 --> 00:30:22,475
You have to

851
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:22,960
compromise.

852
00:30:23,020 --> 00:30:23,240
But

853
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,195
we compromise, we understand, and.

854
00:30:26,885 --> 00:30:27,545
We talk.

855
00:30:27,545 --> 00:30:28,505
We talk about it.

856
00:30:28,925 --> 00:30:31,355
And if it doesn't work for
me, it doesn't work for me.

857
00:30:31,355 --> 00:30:33,245
If it doesn't work for him,
it doesn't work for him.

858
00:30:33,245 --> 00:30:35,060
Like it's compromise.

859
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:35,330
Yeah.

860
00:30:35,395 --> 00:30:35,635
Know.

861
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:39,020
Know your limits also
know your hard boundaries.

862
00:30:39,140 --> 00:30:39,320
Yeah.

863
00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:42,860
Know what you're willing to
compromise with and what your hard

864
00:30:42,860 --> 00:30:47,120
boundaries are, because the hard
boundaries are not to be compromised.

865
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:47,180
Yeah.

866
00:30:47,210 --> 00:30:52,040
And if you are at a hard boundary and
it's looking like somebody wants to

867
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:53,510
compromise it, you need to speak up.

868
00:30:53,565 --> 00:30:53,655
Yes.

869
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:54,765
You need to vocalize it.

870
00:30:54,795 --> 00:30:54,945
Yeah.

871
00:30:55,215 --> 00:30:59,355
And ensure that you don't end up in a
situation you don't want to end up in.

872
00:30:59,745 --> 00:31:01,755
And I think that happens
for a lot of people.

873
00:31:01,755 --> 00:31:07,085
I think people forget that their
hard boundaries should not be pushed.

874
00:31:07,445 --> 00:31:07,655
Yeah.

875
00:31:07,805 --> 00:31:07,895
Yeah.

876
00:31:07,895 --> 00:31:10,025
Um, voice your opinions.

877
00:31:10,385 --> 00:31:15,035
I don't know what your special thing
that you wanna work on for the year is.

878
00:31:15,035 --> 00:31:16,510
I don't know what you want to do.

879
00:31:17,010 --> 00:31:22,890
With your 2026, all I know is what we're
gonna be doing with our 2026, and that's

880
00:31:22,890 --> 00:31:26,000
where we're gonna be working on growing,
we're gonna be working on getting better.

881
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:26,120
Yes.

882
00:31:26,550 --> 00:31:31,915
At whatever that means for us as a couple,
whatever that means for us individually,

883
00:31:32,305 --> 00:31:34,345
we're just trying to better ourselves and.

884
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,380
You know, when you try to better
yourself and you realize that you are

885
00:31:38,380 --> 00:31:44,140
bettering yourself, it's a very freeing
and happy feeling to know that, you

886
00:31:44,140 --> 00:31:46,645
know, you're, you're here, there's
always room for, and you were here.

887
00:31:46,750 --> 00:31:47,920
There's always room for growth.

888
00:31:48,100 --> 00:31:49,030
There's always room for growth.

889
00:31:49,060 --> 00:31:50,020
Always room for growth.

890
00:31:50,050 --> 00:31:50,170
Yeah.

891
00:31:50,170 --> 00:31:50,470
So,

892
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:51,310
absolutely.

893
00:31:51,310 --> 00:31:52,900
I wanted to share that.

894
00:31:53,740 --> 00:31:58,990
That's one thing that I am trying to
grow and trying to be better at, and

895
00:31:59,080 --> 00:31:59,860
I appreciate that.

896
00:32:00,340 --> 00:32:00,760
Thanks.

897
00:32:00,790 --> 00:32:01,810
I do appreciate that.

898
00:32:02,230 --> 00:32:06,400
And you know, I, I think that 2026 is
gonna be a very interesting year for us.

899
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,810
2025 was a real interesting year
because you guys got introduced to

900
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,810
confident Adam 2025 saw confident Adam.

901
00:32:13,810 --> 00:32:16,960
And let me tell you he needs
go back in his little Yeah, I

902
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:17,830
found out a little something.

903
00:32:17,830 --> 00:32:20,590
I found out that I'm a, a little,
a little charming apparently.

904
00:32:21,220 --> 00:32:23,380
I've been told by some ladies
that I'm a little charming

905
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:24,310
and I gotta say, I've already

906
00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:24,820
told them that.

907
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,040
He was charming.

908
00:32:26,190 --> 00:32:29,310
This is where we go with the
whole com compersion thing.

909
00:32:29,310 --> 00:32:30,570
It's like, hello.

910
00:32:30,780 --> 00:32:32,400
A win is a win for both of us.

911
00:32:32,490 --> 00:32:33,240
Oh, whatever.

912
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:33,840
Okay.

913
00:32:34,410 --> 00:32:35,310
Yeah, keep working on that.

914
00:32:35,310 --> 00:32:36,270
It's not 2026.

915
00:32:36,270 --> 00:32:36,945
So she's got That's 20.

916
00:32:37,395 --> 00:32:38,160
She's got a buffer.

917
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:38,880
She's got a buffer.

918
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:39,120
It's okay.

919
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:39,660
Few days.

920
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:40,140
That's right.

921
00:32:40,290 --> 00:32:40,830
You take your time.

922
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:42,020
But.

923
00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:45,170
2026 is gonna be a big
year for Beyond Monogamy.

924
00:32:45,170 --> 00:32:47,660
We've got a lot going on, we've
got a lot of traveling to do.

925
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,300
Uh, we're gonna be in a
lot of different places.

926
00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:54,350
If you haven't heard yet and you want
to keep up with where we're going,

927
00:32:54,350 --> 00:32:57,590
what we're doing, you want to hang out
with us, you know that you can go to

928
00:32:57,590 --> 00:33:05,000
our website, www.beyond-monogamy.com,
you hit that events tab and you have

929
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:07,970
access to everywhere we're gonna be.

930
00:33:08,210 --> 00:33:08,360
Yes.

931
00:33:08,390 --> 00:33:09,920
And you know, if you want to hang out.

932
00:33:10,445 --> 00:33:11,135
That's all you gotta do.

933
00:33:11,135 --> 00:33:12,005
You just gotta show up.

934
00:33:12,425 --> 00:33:13,055
That's not bad.

935
00:33:13,205 --> 00:33:13,385
Yes.

936
00:33:13,415 --> 00:33:18,275
But while you are there
www.beyond-monogamy.com, be sure

937
00:33:18,605 --> 00:33:22,805
and hit that little merch tab or
the store tab because in the store

938
00:33:22,805 --> 00:33:26,405
tab there's all sorts of merchandise
that my lovely wife has created.

939
00:33:26,915 --> 00:33:27,545
Uh, that be me.

940
00:33:27,695 --> 00:33:29,045
And let me tell you something.

941
00:33:29,045 --> 00:33:32,885
If you're a big believer in
wanting to wear something that

942
00:33:32,885 --> 00:33:34,415
very few people are wearing.

943
00:33:35,005 --> 00:33:38,575
The only people that are wearing
beyond monogamy merchandise are these

944
00:33:38,575 --> 00:33:40,165
two people here on the TV Uhhuh.

945
00:33:40,585 --> 00:33:40,855
And

946
00:33:40,855 --> 00:33:43,130
if you were wearing it, you would be.

947
00:33:43,630 --> 00:33:44,950
Part of the special club.

948
00:33:45,460 --> 00:33:48,220
I'm just saying, I'm just saying you
could be a part of that special club.

949
00:33:48,220 --> 00:33:48,850
That would be amazing.

950
00:33:49,090 --> 00:33:52,370
And also please keep a watch
on all of our social medias.

951
00:33:52,370 --> 00:33:55,670
We're gonna be doing some
little different things and all

952
00:33:55,670 --> 00:33:57,050
of that is gonna be growing.

953
00:33:57,050 --> 00:34:00,530
We have a group of people that have
been joining us and they're gonna

954
00:34:00,530 --> 00:34:04,790
be starting to post stuff or beyond
monogamy and events and stuff.

955
00:34:04,790 --> 00:34:05,330
Yes.

956
00:34:05,330 --> 00:34:06,920
Lots of big stuff happening.

957
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:07,610
Lots of different changes.

958
00:34:07,610 --> 00:34:10,700
We're gonna have some really
interesting guests this coming year.

959
00:34:10,970 --> 00:34:11,510
Uh, we.

960
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:17,480
Our guest, uh, schedule is pretty
much filled till mid-February

961
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:18,795
already, so that's good.

962
00:34:18,795 --> 00:34:22,060
Uh, so we tend to keep our
shows well greased and oiled.

963
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,460
We've got a lineup for the year.

964
00:34:24,460 --> 00:34:26,890
I'm literally you know,
getting things scheduled.

965
00:34:27,220 --> 00:34:30,430
It's gonna be a very, very
fun beyond monogamy here.

966
00:34:30,430 --> 00:34:34,120
So if you are in there, you are
following us, you are listening to

967
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:35,980
us, and you want to be a part of us.

968
00:34:36,715 --> 00:34:39,595
All you gotta do is interact
with us because we're looking

969
00:34:39,595 --> 00:34:42,415
for people all over the US Yes.

970
00:34:42,415 --> 00:34:44,905
That we can make part of our community.

971
00:34:45,055 --> 00:34:45,505
Yes.

972
00:34:45,775 --> 00:34:49,255
That we can turn to and say,
Hey, we are coming to your town

973
00:34:49,255 --> 00:34:50,755
and we would love to hang out.

974
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:51,625
Maybe grab a dinner.

975
00:34:51,625 --> 00:34:52,825
Maybe you could show us the town.

976
00:34:53,245 --> 00:34:54,835
If you wanna be that for us.

977
00:34:55,435 --> 00:34:57,895
You go to that website, you hit us up.

978
00:34:57,895 --> 00:34:59,755
You can leave us a voicemail, an email.

979
00:34:59,875 --> 00:35:02,155
You can hit us up on
social medias everywhere.

980
00:35:02,515 --> 00:35:03,505
One last thing.

981
00:35:04,005 --> 00:35:07,415
While you're there at the
website beyond monogamy

982
00:35:07,415 --> 00:35:10,535
confessional, it's 100% anonymous.

983
00:35:10,535 --> 00:35:13,505
You go over there, you
tell us whatever you want.

984
00:35:13,505 --> 00:35:17,045
You tell us your wild stories, what
happened at the club last night.

985
00:35:17,285 --> 00:35:23,325
You tell us, your real true feelings
about non-monogamy, maybe what's happening

986
00:35:23,325 --> 00:35:25,005
in your life, you know, whatever.

987
00:35:25,605 --> 00:35:27,580
We can be that person that you don't.

988
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,315
I may have to go on that for the question.

989
00:35:29,315 --> 00:35:31,770
Have anybody to talk to
you, talk to the confession.

990
00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:33,840
So give it a shot.

991
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,000
I guarantee you it, it is very freeing.

992
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:40,200
You'll love it and you'll get yourself
heard on the show 'cause there you go.

993
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,460
That's what these quickies are for.

994
00:35:41,850 --> 00:35:43,650
Uh, so yeah, be sure and check that out.

995
00:35:43,650 --> 00:35:48,345
Also, we're on, uh, fullswapradio.com
every Thursday from, 2:00

996
00:35:48,345 --> 00:35:50,550
PM and 7:00 PM Central Time.

997
00:35:50,550 --> 00:35:51,900
So be sure and check us out there.

998
00:35:52,300 --> 00:35:56,590
And as always, we really, really
appreciate you guys listening to us

999
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,860
and watching us sometimes on the tv.

1000
00:36:00,310 --> 00:36:03,730
Uh, but we really appreciate you guys
just being a part of our family, being

1001
00:36:03,730 --> 00:36:05,260
a part of the Beyond Monogamy family.

1002
00:36:05,650 --> 00:36:08,980
Uh, and with that, we will
see you guys next year.

1003
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:09,980
Bye.