When They Want My Spouse and Not Me: Navigating Rejection in Ethical Non-Monogamy

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The Awkward Side of the Lifestyle Nobody Talks About

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and swinging can be full of excitement, connection, and exploration — but what happens when the spark doesn’t light up for both partners?

In this Beyond Monogamy QUICKIE episode, Adam & Pris get real about one of those sting-filled moments in the lifestyle: when another couple shows interest in your spouse but makes it clear they aren’t feeling you.

It’s the kind of experience nobody really prepares you for — the awkward text messages, the ignored introductions, or that uncomfortable moment at dinner when someone’s energy is directed one way. Do you laugh it off? Get sour? Or let it ruin your night?

Real Stories, Real Feelings

Adam and Pris share honest, unfiltered stories of when it’s happened to them — both sides of the equation. From dates where one partner was completely iced out, to awkward moments when attraction wasn’t mutual, they unpack how it felt and how they handled it.

• Adam’s perspective: What it’s like to be sidelined when people are only focused on Pris.

• Pris’s perspective: The frustration of being ignored, or labeled as “too blunt,” and how delivery makes all the difference.

• Our takeaway: Confidence and communication are key — and how you react says more about your relationship than about the rejection itself.

The Importance of Delivery & Communication

One of the biggest themes in this episode is how things are said.

• A respectful, honest message about not vibing with one partner can sting less and actually open the door to better communication.

• A sneaky or underhanded approach? That’s a dealbreaker.

Adam and Pris highlight why honesty (with a little sugarcoating at times) matters, and how couples can navigate rejection without letting it spiral into jealousy or insecurity.

Tips for Handling Lifestyle Rejection

From their experiences, Adam & Pris leave listeners with practical advice:

• Don’t take it personally — attraction is subjective, and rejection doesn’t define your worth.

• Talk it out — check in with your partner and be honest about how you’re feeling.

• Set boundaries — if ignoring one spouse is a dealbreaker, be upfront about it.

• Laugh it off — sometimes the best response is not letting it ruin the night.

Why This Conversation Matters

In the world of swinging, polyamory, and ENM, conversations about jealousy and rejection don’t always make the highlight reel. But the truth is, everyone experiences it at some point. By bringing these moments into the light, Adam & Pris hope to normalize the feelings, reduce shame, and show that even the uncomfortable parts of the lifestyle can be handled with humor, honesty, and love.

Listen to the Full Episode

🎧 Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris – QUICKIE: When They Want My Spouse and Not Me
Available now on:

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