Swinging Reality Check: What Nobody Warns You About in the Lifestyle
What Nobody Warns You About When You Start Swinging
Everyone warns you about STIs.
Nobody warns you about the drive home.
The quiet.
The replaying every interaction in your head like a mental highlight reel you didn’t ask for.
That’s the real initiation.
When people hear “swinging,” they picture hot bodies, instant chemistry, and effortless sex. What they don’t picture is standing in a hallway eating cheese cubes, holding a drink you forgot you had, wondering why your feelings just clocked in uninvited.
That’s exactly why we recorded this episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris.
Because fantasy is loud.
Reality is quiet… until it isn’t.
“You don’t know what’s going to trigger you until it actually happens.”
Fantasy vs Reality Is the First Gut Punch
The fantasy says you walk into a party and immediately start checking off bucket-list fantasies.
The reality says you people-watch, make small talk, shake a few hands, maybe flirt a little, and then quietly ask your partner if they want to leave and get burgers.
And here’s the part nobody says out loud:
That night still counts.
Not every event is fireworks. Not every event needs to be. Some nights are just data collection.
We’ve had plenty of nights where the only play that happened was with each other — and that doesn’t mean the lifestyle “failed.” It means expectations finally met experience.
Jealousy Doesn’t Always Kick the Door In
Sometimes jealousy is immediate.
Sometimes it waits two days, pours a drink, and taps you on the shoulder like, “Hey… remember that thing?”
Pris summed it up perfectly in the episode:
“I don’t want anyone better than me.”
If that line made you flinch a little, congratulations — you’re human.
Jealousy doesn’t mean you’re bad at non-monogamy. It means you’re attached to someone you care about and your nervous system is trying to keep score.
Rejection Still Feels Like Rejection
We don’t care how much people try to rebrand it.
If you put yourself out there and someone says no — that’s rejection.
And for a lot of people, especially men, it drags old shit out of storage. High school. College. Being overlooked. Being invisible.
The lifestyle doesn’t create those wounds.
It just puts better lighting on them.
Validation Is a Sneaky Addiction
Here’s a real confession:
I crave validation.
Downloads. Likes. Attention. Being wanted.
It feels amazing… until it doesn’t.
Because when validation dips, anxiety spikes. And that emotional rollercoaster doesn’t stay on social media — it comes home with you.
The lifestyle doesn’t cause that.
It exposes it.
Rules Don’t Prevent Pain
Rules can create a sense of safety.
They do not eliminate discomfort.
Growth is awkward. Communication isn’t sexy. Emotional processing is rarely synchronized.
But the reward?
A relationship that actually knows itself.
So What’s the Real Warning?
Swinging won’t break a solid relationship.
But it will expose weak spots.
And that’s not failure — that’s information.
If you’re new and feeling overwhelmed, you’re not broken.
You’re just learning something new about yourself.
Want More Real Conversations Like This?
This episode is just one of many honest, unfiltered conversations we have on Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris.
You can listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.
We also stream Beyond Monogamy on FullSwapRadio.com every Thursday at 2 PM and 7 PM Central.
Have a Story You’ve Never Told Anyone?
If you’ve ever experienced jealousy, rejection, insecurity, or a moment you wish someone warned you about, we want to hear it.
You can submit a 100% anonymous Beyond Monogamy Confessional at:
www.beyond-monogamy.com
No names. No judgment. Just real stories from real people.
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It helps more people find these conversations — and reminds folks they’re not alone in this.
Welcome to Beyond Monogamy.
Co-host
Adam is the bald, bearded, caffeine-fueled voice behind Beyond Monogamy — a guy who never expected to become a spokesperson for ethical non-monogamy… but here we are. After more than a decade navigating the lifestyle with his wife and co-host Pris, he’s learned a ton about communication, boundaries, jealousy (yep, he has it too), and what it really takes to build a relationship that feels like home and adventure at the same time.
Whether he’s diving into deep relationship conversations, calling out the myths the lifestyle loves to cling to, or just hyping up couples to choose their joy unapologetically, Adam brings honesty, humor, and tattoo-level commitment to every episode. If you’ve ever thought, “Is it just us?”, he’s the guy handing you a coffee and saying, “Nah — welcome to the club.”
Beyond Monogamy is his way of making sure nobody has to explore this world alone. Because love gets bigger when community gets louder.
📍 Based in Texas
☕ Early-morning gym rat
🎙 Podcast host, connection-builder, lifestyle storyteller
💭 Motto: “We don’t break rules — we make better ones.”
Unfair Swinger Rules: The Boundaries That Break Couples
