QUICKIE Blog: How to Have The Talk About Ethical Non-Monogamy
QUICKIE Blog: How to Have The Talk About Ethical Non-Monogamy
👉 Show us some love! Drop us a review and help Beyond Monogamy grow:
👉 Join our communities & connect with us off the mic:
👉 Get spicy perks: Sign up for SDC with promo code 38236 and thank us later 😉
🚨 The Scariest Question You’ll Ever Ask
So you’ve been thinking about it. Maybe you’ve seen a TikTok, overheard a friend whispering at brunch, or just caught yourself fantasizing. You’re curious about ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, or the swinger lifestyle. But before you get anywhere close to a play party, there’s one hurdle every single couple has to clear:
Having “the talk.”
And no, we’re not talking about “the birds and the bees.” We’re talking about that moment when you look at your partner and say: “Hey babe… what would you think if we opened up our relationship?”
Sounds terrifying, right? Yeah, it is. But it’s also the single most important conversation you’ll ever have if you’re considering the lifestyle. And here’s the good news: Adam & Pris have been there, done that, and—spoiler alert—totally crashed and burned the first time. So now you get to learn from their mistakes.
💡 Tips for Having The Talk (Without Blowing Up Your Relationship)
1. Timing Is Everything
Do not drop this bomb mid-argument, after tequila shots, or while your kids are in the backseat of the car. Choose a calm, private moment when both of you are relaxed and open. Think cozy dinner, Netflix and chill, or a lazy Sunday morning.
2. The Preamble Matters
Don’t just blurt out: “I wanna bang other people.” That’s a one-way ticket to the doghouse. Instead, start with something softer:
“Hey, there’s something important on my mind. I want to talk about it, but only if you’re in a good headspace right now.”
That little preamble sets the stage and shows you respect your partner’s feelings.
3. Expect Big Emotions
Jealousy? Insecurity? Tears? Yep. All normal. Both men and women often wonder: “Am I not enough?” This is your cue to pile on the reassurance. Compliment them, affirm your love, and make it clear that curiosity about non-monogamy doesn’t mean dissatisfaction.
4. Set Boundaries Early
Before you even get to “who” or “where,” talk about what’s off the table. Safe words, texting check-ins, and basic rules are sexy because they keep your relationship safe. Going in blind with “we’ll just see what happens” is rookie energy—and it almost always ends badly.
5. Stay Sober, Stay Honest
Alcohol might make it easier to blurt things out, but it also makes it easier to miscommunicate. Keep this convo stone-cold sober so nobody wakes up the next morning wondering, “Wait… did we agree to a threesome or was that the margaritas talking?”
6. Consent Is Sexy
This isn’t just about saying “yes” to other partners. It’s about consent between you and your spouse. If your partner says no, that’s the end of the conversation—for now. If they say maybe, keep the dialogue open. And if they say yes, congrats—but don’t rush. Take baby steps.
😂 Real Talk From Adam & Pris
-
Pris: “I used to tell Adam stories about swinging with my ex and thought it was just casual convo… until he basically said, ‘So when do we try it?’ I was not ready for that.”
-
Adam: “Yeah, timing was… let’s just say not great. And my delivery? Straight-up dumb. But we learned fast that the how matters just as much as the what.”
Lesson learned? Even couples who are now podcasting about non-monogamy started off fumbling the conversation. And that’s okay. You don’t have to nail it on the first try—you just have to keep talking.
🔑 Takeaways
-
Don’t rush. The lifestyle isn’t going anywhere.
-
Have the conversation in a safe, loving, sober space.
-
Reassurance isn’t a one-time thing—it’s ongoing.
-
Rules, boundaries, and safe words keep your relationship safe and sexy.
-
Consent isn’t just for play—it’s for your partnership, too.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
Want the full story—funny mishaps, awkward beginnings, and all the sexy tips? Check out our Wednesday QUICKIE: Having The Talk episode now on:
-
Apple Podcasts
-
Spotify
-
Amazon Music
-
Pandora
-
iHeartRadio
-
YouTube
-
Streaming Thursdays on FullSwapRadio.com at 1 PM & 6 PM CST
👉 Don’t forget to:
-
Join our Reddit community
-
Sign up for SDC with our link (Promo code: 38236)
✨ Whether you’re just curious or already dipping a toe into ethical non-monogamy, remember: the talk isn’t about convincing your partner. It’s about creating a space where both of you feel safe, connected, and ready to explore—together.
Sacred Kink, Trauma Healing & Sexy Wisdom with Francesca Gentille
