March 5, 2025
QUICKIE: Trust, Transparency, and Intimacy

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In this episode of Beyond Monogamy, Adam and Pris delve into the complex world of open relationships, discussing their personal experiences and boundaries within the swinging lifestyle. They navigate the intricate balance of transparency and trust, emphasizing the importance of mutual understanding and communication. Pris shares her concerns about emotional attachments and the potential complications of polyamory, while Adam expresses his comfort with forming connections. Together, they explore the idea of a three-way relationship as an alternative to traditional dating dynamics, revealing insights into the evolving nature of their relationship and the ongoing negotiation of rules and boundaries.
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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. We explore topics
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surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships, and related subjects
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in an open and candid manner. Please be advised that we are not licensed
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marriage or sex therapists and the content shared here is for
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entertainment and informational purposes only. If you are under 18
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years of age or prefer not to engage with discussions about sex,
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relationships, or mature language, we strongly recommend that you refrain
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from listening further. However, if you are of legal age and comfortable
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with this content, we invite you to settle in and enjoy the show.
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Hello and welcome to Beyond Monogamy.
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I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And today in our Wednesday quickie.
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Actually, I have a question for you, sir.
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Okay, ask away. So we are gonna do something a
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little different. We just got right into it. We did. Yeah.
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So you and I have been disgusting. Disgusting?
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I am not disgusting. We have been. How dare you. We have been discussing
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different dynamics because you have
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made the lifestyle
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a lot better. I made the lifestyle a lot better?
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How would you say that I've made. You're being a lot more transparent.
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I don't have to pick and prod at you now. You held anything
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back for me in previous years. It's just you. You don't share. I'm an
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over sharer. Yeah. If I'm talking to somebody, I might.
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I even show you my messages because I. I find it interesting. What people.
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Yeah, you. You. You share too much. Oh, do I? No, no,
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no. I mean. Okay, like, it's duly noted. No, I'll take it easy there.
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Hey, we said we weren't going to get passionate. Take it easy.
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No, I'm saying, like, you would tell. Me and you don't share enough. So and
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so messaged me and I'm like, okay. Yeah. But it just. It was just
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high and high. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Like, it's unnecessary.
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I don't need to know. So I was thinking,
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and we were just talking about not thinking, but we were talking about it because
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I have been getting hit up by a lot of women that
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kind of want to take me out. Right? Like, take you out. Yeah.
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And so we do not do the dating thing.
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No, no, we don't do the dating thing. We are not Polly.
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And of course you're gonna say we don't do the dating thing because you're the
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one who puts all these rules on me.
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Very tight leash on this man because he's
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awesome. Oh. And yeah,
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now I know you're never leaving me. I'm glad you know that.
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Yeah. This. He's. You're never Leaving me? No. You're going to be with me forever.
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Yes. You love me. Yes. Sex with me
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is great. Amazing. Sex with me is amazing.
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Yeah. You and I have just. We're. We're soul mates.
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Like. Oh, totally. That's it. Point blank. Yes. And so we
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were discussing this, right? And I am the one
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who puts all these little caveats on the swinging
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thing. Just because I wouldn't say
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it's insecurities. I'm just not comfortable with everything.
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I like to share you. But to an extent now
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you do not see eye to eye on some of these things. No, no.
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But you are cool with. Like, if you were to take
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someone out, would you be cool with dating? I would be okay with being
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poly again. Oh, yeah, you kick that
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out of your bone. See, no, that's what I'm saying. Like, I don't even.
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I. I am not poly. Why? Because. Why would you like to be
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poly again? I didn't say I would like to be poly again. I said
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I'd be okay with being poly again. Well, that's liking.
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Well, yeah, I suppose. I mean, it's liking. Why? I mean, what,
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what, what makes you want to be poly again?
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What is drawing you? Actually, no, I don't want to be Polly again.
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You said it on a few shows. Well, no, I said
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I liked. I did like poly. No, you said if we were to do it
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again, you would be down for it. I would? Yeah, sure. Why I'm asking you.
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I don't know. Okay. I don't know.
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Sometimes the idea of dating is appealing.
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But then I remember,
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so when we were poly, it was different. We were out
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here. There was no real network, we didn't know anybody.
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So then I was on the stupid swipe left. Swipe right.
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Easier now. I think it would be easier now. For you to date.
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Because if I were to date, it would be somebody in
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one of the groups that we need. Like, you'd want a girlfriend.
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Oh, God, when you say it like that. It would be a girlfriend. You'd be
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dating somebody. You know what, let me, let me change this up here,
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okay? Not as a single man. I would date
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somebody with you. I would take on a girlfriend, like an equal
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three way relationship. If there was somebody out there who was
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equally into you and equally into me. And it
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was somebody that we could both connect with as a couple
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and individually, I would absolutely be
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down for that. That's interesting. Yeah, I would be down for that.
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Because you wouldn't necessarily be sharing
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time, my time, because we could do things all three of
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us together. Yeah. And then there would be times where, you know,
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it would be separate. One or the other. Yeah. But it would be somebody that
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we really, really trust. Yeah. And really, really are comfortable with.
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And. Yeah. You know, I like,
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I like, I do. Like, that's a really good
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point. That would be. I think that would be the only way that I would
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go back to poly. But when you. What if it was a couple. If it
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was a couple that wanted to date us as a couple, I would be into
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that, too. Yeah. Yeah, I would be into that. I'd have to be,
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like, really comfortable. But. Yeah. Yeah. But we were talking about.
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Because I'm getting hit up for dates and stuff.
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Right. And I was like, you know, you're making it very easy.
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The lifestyle a lot easier. And I feel like I'm
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grown and I'm not as insecure as I used to be.
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But. But,
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but you want.
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You said something. You're like, okay, so it's like, even if
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you were to go out, I would go out and I would totally understand that,
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but I don't. I wouldn't let you do that
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with every person. See, I don't understand. So that's where you're like,
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well, why is it situational? It is situational
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because I don't. I do not trust every person.
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But you trust me. That has nothing to do with it. But that's
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all. But that should. That should have everything. And you would think so, doesn't it?
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You can put me in a situation around a
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bunch of people that are not trustworthy, and you should be able
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to know that I will be able to get out of that situation.
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You should be able to trust me. Yeah. To do the right thing.
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Now, if you can't trust me, then what
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are we basing this relationship off of? A sex.
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Oh, are you being serious? Just kidding. I trust
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you. I just don't trust other women. Like, women can get
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attached, and I understand that you can control that, but then I have to
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step in, period. If someone tells my husband,
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oh, I really want to see you every day, I'd be like, hold.
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Pump your brakes, girl. This ain't what this is about.
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You know what I mean? Like, and I love you, but you.
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You get attached sometimes. I do, and I don't like that. You don't
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like that? No. Like, you're. You're only attached to me. Like, to this. Like,
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this is the only thing you're going to get attached to. And that's where I
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get, like. I do not get Attached to people.
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I. I like everybody, but I do not get
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attached to people. I have. I can. I can drop people on a whim,
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and so can you. I mean, look at our.
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Our families. Right. You know, but for some reason different.
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Yeah, for some. Because they're mean to you or. They're mean, right? They're horrible people.
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But I. I don't know. Like, I don't mind it.
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I don't mind us going out and dating other people,
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but. Yeah, there's just certain people that I'd be like,
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no, no, not at all. You can go have
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sex with her, but you're only probably gonna have sex
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with her once. And that's. I don't know.
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I just don't. I don't. I don't like the. The whole.
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The whole dating thing. So then you wouldn't entertain a
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date when. When a woman. Only. Only because of that.
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Only because Stephen Stevens. Because even Stevens now,
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what if there's a person and you're like, no, you can't. I can't
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date them or I can't go out on a date with them?
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I mean, I'm sure you just haven't come up to that.
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I don't think you would be okay with every. Right now you're gonna say,
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yeah, anybody? Yeah, I'm okay with it. I have no. I have no problem with
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it because you told me that. I don't. I don't. I don't get intimidated
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by people. I don't get intimidated. Well, you have an insecurity about
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something. Yeah, I just. I don't know what it is, but that is an insecurity.
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I just don't. Like there's more to it. You know what it is?
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I think I do not find that you don't
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get attached. I can understand. Okay, I'm not gonna get attached,
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but the other person just wanting a little too much
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because I've seen it happen, and it's so fucking
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annoying. You've seen it happen with who? I've seen it happen
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with a lot of women that are even your friends back in the day that
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would be just. Just attached to you. Like,
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really. I need to talk to him every day, and I need to have this
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connection with him every day. And it's like, you.
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You. We kind of got out of that.
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But yeah, you. You have. You even have that now,
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where it's just that needing that want, that whole.
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You're such a great listener. And I have a lot of friends that
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I talk. Yeah, but I'm saying, like, that, like, if it gets romantic,
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like, if it gets sexual, it's gonna get romantic. It's gonna get.
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It's gonna evolve into something. And I think that's where I'm like,
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I couldn't. I would never let that happen. 1. Because I just don't
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get attached to people. Like, that's just my. My thing.
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I'm. My marriage. Not that I'm saying
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that you're. That you don't think about our marriage, but I put
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you somewhere that no one can get through.
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Do you know what I mean? Like, it's hard for me to explain to you.
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Well, I mean, I don't want you to take on another husband. No, but like,
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I would never let someone get infatuated or I would never let in.
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Not that I'm saying that you would, but I'm just saying patterns,
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you know, like you're. You're very loving and
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doting person to your friends.
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Yeah. Imagine if you were to have sex with
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your friends and show them a little bit more attention.
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Well, honey boo, we were. We were poly. I had girlfriends.
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Yes. And it wasn't like that. It kind of was
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you. It kind of was. I just made it harder at the very beginning.
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You know what I mean? Like, I made it hard. Fizzle. Yeah. You know,
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it would get. Yeah, that's true. You did make it. Yeah, I made it hard.
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I mean, I did. I didn't like it, so I
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made it hard. Yeah, I guess you got a point. You know what I mean?
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And this is easier. And so what we were discussing was.
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Okay, well, maybe we should try it. Like you. We go.
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We play separately is what we were discussing. Playing separately.
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Not even the. So much of the dating. Yeah, really, it was, it was less
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dating. It was more place. Separately. Yeah, it was playing separately. Right. Because right now
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we just look for couples. Yeah. And right now
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if a girl wants to play with you and she doesn't like girls,
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if I can watch and if I can't watch, I'm kind of okay
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with it. It just depends on the person. Right,
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but we were just depends on the person.
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That. That's always going to throw me off. Why?
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Because I just don't understand. Like, what are, what are the. What are
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the requirements? What. What's the prerequisite
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to. To be that person? Well, you said it depends on
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the person. Yeah. Like, if I get a good vibe from the girl,
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by all means you can play. I. I had a lot. I was
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just curious. Yeah. Like, some women just rub me the
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wrong way. Yeah. And I just,
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I'M like, no, you know, just. Some women just
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rub me the wrong way. Sure. You know, you are.
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You like everybody. Yeah, that's true.
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Yeah, you. You're a beautiful soul.
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I enjoy almost everybody. There's some people I don't. I don't
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imagine if it was somebody you didn't like like that, and you'd be like,
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oh, I'm cool with them, and then they wanted to have sex with me,
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and you'd be like, yeah, no. You know, I'm just starting
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to find that voice of saying no now. Yeah.
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Because previously I would have said, hey, if that's what you want,
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do it. Yes. Yeah. But now I'm starting to go,
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you know what? No, I don't think
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so. Well, I find that hot, so it doesn't matter to me. Yeah, no,
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no, I'm. I'm. I'm starting. No. Are you saying no
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because of what, because you don't like that person or.
220
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Just because I would be saying no because I don't like that person. Yeah.
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Yeah. You see, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, but you can deal with that
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00:13:31,526 --> 00:13:35,374
person on a friendly level or be cordial with them. No, actually, if I
223
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don't like a person, I don't. I don't associate with them at all.
224
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See, I'm a person that keeps. I keep my enemies or people I don't
225
00:13:42,494 --> 00:13:45,438
like very close to me. I don't do that at all. No.
226
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Or at least people know, or at least at
227
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vision where I can see them, because. Yeah, that's just
228
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me. I expel them. So the way I look at it for. For me is
229
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I am a. A good person. I'm a good positive influence
230
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to have around. If you're gonna screw me over,
231
00:14:03,558 --> 00:14:07,134
well, you don't deserve these people. Don't screw you over. Is there Is. Have you
232
00:14:07,142 --> 00:14:10,622
never met somebody. No, I've never met a person that I just said I
233
00:14:10,646 --> 00:14:13,870
didn't like that guy. Really? Actually. You have.
234
00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:17,390
I. Yes. When? I mean, you have.
235
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You've been like, nah, that person was. Nah.
236
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,086
Yeah. And then I give them a second shot, and then I'm like, okay.
237
00:14:23,118 --> 00:14:26,702
They're all right. No, get out. No, stop it. Don't be
238
00:14:26,726 --> 00:14:30,062
making you sound like you're a little angelito. I'm telling you, man, you're not.
239
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Anyway, our conversation. Our conversation was,
240
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do we want to play separately? Yeah.
241
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And so because I. You said it was. I found it funny that you came
242
00:14:41,606 --> 00:14:45,102
up to me to ask me if I wanted to. Yeah.
243
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And it's. It's like, you already know my answer. Yes.
244
00:14:48,878 --> 00:14:52,366
For me, the problem that I have is that there are people
245
00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:56,410
out there that I would like to play with
246
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and because you want it to be a couple thing,
247
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if you don't, you know, get along with
248
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them or if you don't find them attractive, you know, you and I,
249
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:12,108
we like different things. You like everybody and I don't.
250
00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:15,724
There's a difference between us. Yeah, for sure. I mean, just being. There's a
251
00:15:15,732 --> 00:15:19,468
difference between us nonetheless, you know, that's the.
252
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That's the whole idea. There is. That I have to pass
253
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up on an opportunity that I want to take part in because of
254
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this rule that you have. Huh? Hey,
255
00:15:31,878 --> 00:15:35,030
it is what it is. You can give me that look. That's. That's fine.
256
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:39,014
But. But that's what I'm saying. That's. Yeah. So. And so then we.
257
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But I'm okay with that. As I have said in previous episodes,
258
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I am okay with that because I can appreciate the
259
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fact that you let me do whatever it is I do. For the
260
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most part. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So. So I'm willing to
261
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be like, okay, whatever. She doesn't. This is the rule she wants.
262
00:15:57,942 --> 00:16:01,814
I'll deal with that. Right. But would I like to play separately
263
00:16:01,862 --> 00:16:05,862
on occasion? Yeah, absolutely. And it's not because I
264
00:16:05,886 --> 00:16:09,382
don't want you there, whereas previous times it would
265
00:16:09,406 --> 00:16:13,850
have been the case because I would have been too worried about you. But sometimes,
266
00:16:14,430 --> 00:16:16,650
sometimes in the moment,
267
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say I'm at the club and I have
268
00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:24,286
this. I just have this wicked fantasy about this girl coming up to me
269
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and taking me by the hand and take me to the back,
270
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and you notice I'm
271
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gone. And it is what it is.
272
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:38,650
Like, you just, like, continue on doing your thing.
273
00:16:39,270 --> 00:16:43,182
I show back up later. You know what I'm saying? You keep
274
00:16:43,206 --> 00:16:46,410
saying, huh? I'm going to keep dragging it out. That's pretty much it.
275
00:16:46,870 --> 00:16:50,298
I'm like. I like. Okay. I feel like I have to describe more.
276
00:16:50,354 --> 00:16:53,066
Oh, I got you. That was the gist of it. Okay, so, like, just grabbing
277
00:16:53,098 --> 00:16:56,202
you and just taking you. Yeah, yeah. And so.
278
00:16:56,306 --> 00:17:00,150
But I can't do that. That in the moment, kind of.
279
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Because I would have to pull you to the side and tell
280
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you, hey, this is so and so. Or like,
281
00:17:07,970 --> 00:17:11,066
you know, there's something hot about in the moment. You know what I mean?
282
00:17:11,138 --> 00:17:14,600
I understand that. So then having to break that moment by
283
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:17,520
pulling her over here and saying, here, meet my wife,
284
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:22,284
and you guys got to shake hands, and this needs to vibe and she's
285
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:25,880
going to come back and watch this. Is that okay? Like, it's like.
286
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:29,852
And you don't think. You don't think in the. I mean, it's fun, but it's
287
00:17:30,036 --> 00:17:33,164
in. The swinger community that's already ingrained
288
00:17:33,212 --> 00:17:36,460
in people's minds. It is to. But to,
289
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:40,108
like, tell the. Or not tell the spouse, but know
290
00:17:40,164 --> 00:17:43,724
that. So not for everybody. Not for everybody.
291
00:17:43,852 --> 00:17:47,180
And some people are an in the moment kind
292
00:17:47,220 --> 00:17:50,348
of person. Like, don't ask, just kind of do it.
293
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:54,600
Yeah, yeah. Which is hot.
294
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:58,364
Yeah. I mean, it could be hot. And I'm not saying, like,
295
00:17:58,532 --> 00:18:01,804
just anywhere. Like an agb, somebody's gonna pull me off to the
296
00:18:01,892 --> 00:18:05,640
yogurts and we're gonna get it on. But I'm saying, like, in a sex club.
297
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:09,502
I mean, we're there for sex. Yeah. And it could be one
298
00:18:09,526 --> 00:18:13,102
of those moments where we're in the back putting on a show, we're done with
299
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:16,606
our show, and we're walking back to the front and
300
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:20,302
you're leading the way, and somebody just kind of grabs me and maybe
301
00:18:20,446 --> 00:18:24,222
kisses me a certain way and says, come on, and pulls me
302
00:18:24,246 --> 00:18:27,502
to the back. And you'd be cool with if that happened to
303
00:18:27,526 --> 00:18:30,090
me? Well, no, I need to know where you go.
304
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:34,386
I mean, you're leaving. It's different. Honey, why,
305
00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:37,778
babe? Because. No, no, hold on. Because I don't know who you're
306
00:18:37,794 --> 00:18:41,026
with. But I'm not gonna know who you're with. Yeah, but ain't
307
00:18:41,058 --> 00:18:44,418
nobody gonna rape me. Do you understand the difference? No one's gonna rate me.
308
00:18:44,474 --> 00:18:47,730
Why? No one is gonna rape me. I was saying this
309
00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:51,394
works. I'm asking you. So it's
310
00:18:51,442 --> 00:18:55,202
somebody. Maybe I've talked to them before. Yeah. And they
311
00:18:55,226 --> 00:18:58,510
see us at the club, and you're walking us out of the room.
312
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:04,844
Boy, that really changes things. And they grab me
313
00:19:05,012 --> 00:19:08,492
and they say, hey. They give me a kiss,
314
00:19:08,556 --> 00:19:12,284
and it gets real passionate right there. And it's like, hey, do you want to
315
00:19:12,292 --> 00:19:15,340
go to the back? And I just kind of let go and I'm like,
316
00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:19,260
okay, let's go. And we go to the back, and you're looking around.
317
00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:21,960
Where the hell did she go?
318
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:25,372
And then I come back to you, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. They just
319
00:19:25,396 --> 00:19:28,852
grabbed me as I was walking and we got it
320
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:32,180
on. Hmm. Yeah, you can do that.
321
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,588
Okay. Really go for it.
322
00:19:35,644 --> 00:19:38,400
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No,
323
00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:44,240
it's even Steven and hell to the no. Is that gonna happen?
324
00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:48,084
No. Oh,
325
00:19:48,212 --> 00:19:51,940
gosh. Anyway. Anyway, we were talking about separate play.
326
00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:55,058
We were Talking about separate play. Yeah. And. And is there.
327
00:19:55,114 --> 00:19:58,898
Is it okay to be. To say no to
328
00:19:58,954 --> 00:20:01,430
people? Is the no still okay?
329
00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:05,682
So Brian's coming in, and Brian wants to
330
00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:09,070
have sex with me, and you're like,
331
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:12,990
no, not him. Is that okay to do?
332
00:20:16,010 --> 00:20:19,350
I think. I think yes. I think it is okay to do.
333
00:20:19,450 --> 00:20:23,054
I. I mean, I wouldn't have to ask you why. Well, no. And so
334
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:27,070
I think it's okay to do because I have
335
00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:30,382
respect for you as my wife and as my friend.
336
00:20:30,566 --> 00:20:34,126
And since we're doing this together. Yeah. If you told me
337
00:20:34,198 --> 00:20:37,550
no and you. You didn't have to give me a reason. But I did
338
00:20:37,590 --> 00:20:40,430
tell you no when we were talking about it. And you're like, but why?
339
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:44,126
And I was like, just because. No. And you're like, nah, you see,
340
00:20:44,198 --> 00:20:47,290
that's because it's somebody that you want.
341
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,980
It's somebody that you really want to play with,
342
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:55,192
and you're down to play with alone. Yeah. And I was like,
343
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:58,552
no, not that one. And you said,
344
00:20:58,736 --> 00:21:01,656
okay, well, then, no. We'Re just like, well, we were having a conversation.
345
00:21:01,768 --> 00:21:05,352
We're having the conversation now. But you know what I mean?
346
00:21:05,376 --> 00:21:08,264
Like, well, I mean, you know what? You should be able to ask why.
347
00:21:08,432 --> 00:21:11,720
I'll accept. Okay, homie, you just went back.
348
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:15,160
You just said. Yeah, no, I'm changing it. No. Yeah. I can't change it.
349
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,840
No. Well, hey, excuse me, but what if. It'S a just because I said
350
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,736
so? I just don't want that. I don't want that person. I just don't.
351
00:21:21,768 --> 00:21:25,224
I don't. There's something about that person. I just. But you know, in every aspect
352
00:21:25,272 --> 00:21:28,472
of our lives, when we argue. Yeah. I have to
353
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:32,260
know the why. Yes. So why would this be any different?
354
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,816
The person is damaged and something is going to happen.
355
00:21:35,888 --> 00:21:39,016
Okay, that. That's all I need to hear. Okay. That's it.
356
00:21:39,088 --> 00:21:42,484
Yeah. That's all. Yeah. Okay. You know what I'm saying? So,
357
00:21:42,492 --> 00:21:46,100
I mean, I have to know the why. I'm so down to do. Because I
358
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:49,604
love women. I love to play with women. Now, for me, my separate
359
00:21:49,652 --> 00:21:53,012
play would probably be more for women as
360
00:21:53,036 --> 00:21:56,564
opposed to men. I mean, there may be an occasional guy that
361
00:21:56,572 --> 00:21:59,828
I want to play with, but I. I enjoy playing
362
00:21:59,884 --> 00:22:03,680
with women because I haven't really had the chance to do that.
363
00:22:05,020 --> 00:22:08,240
Now you. You would
364
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,536
be playing with just women. I mean, obviously. Obviously you don't play.
365
00:22:11,688 --> 00:22:14,720
Now, couples. I would be down for
366
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,640
couples. Yeah, you'd be. Okay. Like, because I know there's a couple that wants
367
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,584
you. Right. Is There. I mean, there's a couple that wants both of us,
368
00:22:21,592 --> 00:22:25,488
but, like, she wants you to. To play with her. If I'm down
369
00:22:25,544 --> 00:22:28,832
for you to go and play with them. But are you down for me to
370
00:22:28,856 --> 00:22:31,860
go and play with couples? We're having this conversation.
371
00:22:32,850 --> 00:22:35,630
Oh. It's not live. It's. You know what I mean? Whatever.
372
00:22:36,210 --> 00:22:39,370
Would I be okay for me to. Play with couples because.
373
00:22:39,410 --> 00:22:43,274
Well, obviously even you had previously said no, because you'd have.
374
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,842
I had previously said no, because what. If you
375
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:49,962
wanted to sleep with the girl? And not to mention,
376
00:22:50,106 --> 00:22:53,882
we have rules. Like, if we're going to put rules on everything, then I might
377
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:57,834
as well put a rule in myself. You know what I mean? Right. The rules
378
00:22:57,882 --> 00:23:01,492
are yours. And so I'm like, I want to put one in. Yeah. And so
379
00:23:01,516 --> 00:23:05,636
that was my rule. Yeah. But realistically, I don't
380
00:23:05,668 --> 00:23:09,236
care. So. Yeah. If. If it's even.
381
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:12,292
That's my thing. As long as it's even. Well, yeah, you can let me go
382
00:23:12,316 --> 00:23:15,556
do my thing. Cool. You can go do your thing. Yeah.
383
00:23:15,668 --> 00:23:19,360
Yeah. Well, this is a good conversation. That's something.
384
00:23:20,620 --> 00:23:23,860
I mean, I was just wondering, like, is. Is it okay to do the.
385
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:27,106
No. Because I'm down for the whole
386
00:23:27,218 --> 00:23:30,370
separate play, but if there's just somebody that I just do
387
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:33,986
not want you to play with separately, we cool
388
00:23:34,018 --> 00:23:37,070
with just saying no? Not that one.
389
00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:41,282
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, there's. As long
390
00:23:41,306 --> 00:23:44,546
as there's good reason. Yeah. You know, if.
391
00:23:44,618 --> 00:23:47,234
If it's just. I just don't. I just don't like it.
392
00:23:47,322 --> 00:23:50,402
Yeah. That never has worked for me. Yeah.
393
00:23:50,466 --> 00:23:53,548
Ever. In the times that we've been together. Oh, I know. Never worked for me.
394
00:23:53,604 --> 00:23:56,796
I come up with just. Damn. Just some random excuses sometimes.
395
00:23:56,828 --> 00:23:59,244
Yes. I know it doesn't work for you. You want to know something? I have
396
00:23:59,252 --> 00:24:02,076
to know. I know. I have to know. Yeah.
397
00:24:02,268 --> 00:24:06,012
At least it satisfies something in. In my brain mentally. I have to
398
00:24:06,036 --> 00:24:09,420
know. And, like, I mean, I guess I was my. That was my main thing.
399
00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:12,844
Like, you were so against the no when I told it to you, and I
400
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:16,572
was like, why? Why is there no? I'm giving,
401
00:24:16,636 --> 00:24:19,676
like, you know, like, we're giving each other this much freedom.
402
00:24:19,788 --> 00:24:22,440
Right. I feel like a little bit of a.
403
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:26,700
A little bit of a boundary or a rule is okay.
404
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:30,888
Like, I mean, it may come down at some point. Look how far
405
00:24:30,944 --> 00:24:34,344
we've gotten. Yeah. You know, it's like. And it's not that
406
00:24:34,352 --> 00:24:37,720
I don't trust you. And see, that's the part that always. I I
407
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,432
go back to. Because that's what it feels like. No, I trust
408
00:24:41,496 --> 00:24:44,984
you. I trust you a hundred percent. You know exactly how.
409
00:24:45,072 --> 00:24:48,392
You know. You know me. You know, if I find something, if I
410
00:24:48,416 --> 00:24:52,240
am going to react to something, you know me. You know exactly how I am.
411
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:55,264
And so when I was telling you that, I was like,
412
00:24:55,352 --> 00:24:59,100
well, I mean, there should be a. No, there should be at least something
413
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,152
in there, because I just
414
00:25:03,176 --> 00:25:05,584
don't want to. I'm down to share you,
415
00:25:05,752 --> 00:25:09,264
but not with absolutely everybody.
416
00:25:09,392 --> 00:25:12,380
Okay, well, how about this? What if,
417
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,256
you know, we're coming up. With all these things right now. Go ahead. What if
418
00:25:16,328 --> 00:25:19,120
you find somebody, right? And you say,
419
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,640
okay, I'm gonna do this. And I'm gonna be like, okay, cool. Yeah, they seem
420
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,128
all right. Go have fun. And then you come back and it's all
421
00:25:26,184 --> 00:25:29,792
done and say, hey, good for you. So then I come back
422
00:25:29,816 --> 00:25:32,432
and I say, okay, well, I wanna do this with this person. You go,
423
00:25:32,536 --> 00:25:34,940
no, I don't like that person.
424
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,660
Okay, fine, let me try with someone else.
425
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,592
What about this person? No, I don't like that person either.
426
00:25:42,656 --> 00:25:45,568
Yeah. Guess what I'm gonna start doing? You're going to start.
427
00:25:45,624 --> 00:25:48,416
I'm going to start getting very. But I would be, I would be very even
428
00:25:48,488 --> 00:25:51,280
Steven with you. I would not. But that's the thing. That's the thing. I,
429
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,704
I, that's the thing is you. Again, you're going to tell me yes, even though
430
00:25:54,712 --> 00:25:59,024
you don't like that person because you want to be even Steven. You know,
431
00:25:59,192 --> 00:26:02,096
knowing me and loving you the way I do. Yeah,
432
00:26:02,208 --> 00:26:06,512
probably. Okay, see then that. Probably because I understand.
433
00:26:06,696 --> 00:26:09,152
Because there's not a lot of people in,
434
00:26:09,256 --> 00:26:12,650
in, in your little black book that
435
00:26:12,690 --> 00:26:16,250
I would say no to. There's only a
436
00:26:16,290 --> 00:26:18,810
few that I would be like,
437
00:26:18,930 --> 00:26:22,826
no, you never know. I might end up picking those few.
438
00:26:22,898 --> 00:26:26,810
Yeah, you probably would. Yeah, I'd have to give in. I'm all about,
439
00:26:26,930 --> 00:26:30,122
all about making you happy. But then that
440
00:26:30,146 --> 00:26:33,738
would contradict the rule that you just made. But it's my rule.
441
00:26:33,834 --> 00:26:37,322
Like, they're my. They're our rules. See, it's not a rule if you're just gonna
442
00:26:37,386 --> 00:26:41,546
bend it at a. But you're saying if I say no, am I okay?
443
00:26:41,658 --> 00:26:45,562
Would I say no every single time? Of course not. I would not. And you
444
00:26:45,586 --> 00:26:48,710
don't know everybody I like and everybody I don't like.
445
00:26:49,010 --> 00:26:52,778
I get, I get some pretty good vibes. No, I keep that really close
446
00:26:52,834 --> 00:26:56,906
to my. I keep that you're not as you think you are.
447
00:26:56,978 --> 00:27:00,778
Right. I know you okay. Yeah, I feel you then.
448
00:27:00,834 --> 00:27:04,490
I mean, then you're smart enough not to ask about those people.
449
00:27:04,610 --> 00:27:08,216
No, I am not. You know damn
450
00:27:08,248 --> 00:27:11,192
well I'm not. Yeah, I always push the envelope.
451
00:27:11,336 --> 00:27:15,272
I mean, you know, it's. It's definitely
452
00:27:15,336 --> 00:27:18,540
easier now than it was. I mean, that's positive.
453
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,944
It's definitely easier now. And we're. We're.
454
00:27:22,072 --> 00:27:24,872
You know, all the rules that we had before and all the little boundaries we
455
00:27:24,896 --> 00:27:28,060
had before are pretty much fading.
456
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,912
Only because we're. We're growing and, you know,
457
00:27:32,096 --> 00:27:35,266
it's comfortableness. Yeah.
458
00:27:35,378 --> 00:27:38,930
Yeah. And like, food. I just
459
00:27:38,970 --> 00:27:42,322
don't like everything, really. Yeah.
460
00:27:42,386 --> 00:27:45,394
I mean, I just. I mean, for the most part, you like everything, food wise.
461
00:27:45,442 --> 00:27:49,378
That's true. I don't think you don't like anything. I don't like gizzards.
462
00:27:49,474 --> 00:27:52,226
Oh, wait, I do. Yeah, you do. You eat them. Yeah. I don't like sweet
463
00:27:52,258 --> 00:27:55,522
bread. Oh, I like that. I don't like liver.
464
00:27:55,666 --> 00:27:59,362
Oh, no, no liver. There you go. All right, so it's not everything, but,
465
00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:02,892
I mean, I. I do like. It is something that we
466
00:28:02,916 --> 00:28:05,800
can discuss. Yeah. You know?
467
00:28:06,180 --> 00:28:09,772
Well, I. I just. I mean, I learned something new with
468
00:28:09,796 --> 00:28:13,708
the whole. You would be interested in dating another
469
00:28:13,844 --> 00:28:17,640
girl or couple. You would be open to that.
470
00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:21,420
That. That one. That one caught me off guard. Yeah. I mean,
471
00:28:21,460 --> 00:28:24,956
it was very different back in the day. It was different back in the day.
472
00:28:25,028 --> 00:28:27,320
You know, if I knew somebody who.
473
00:28:28,270 --> 00:28:31,574
Perfect person, perfect couple. Okay.
474
00:28:31,702 --> 00:28:34,810
Would be somebody who is just around our ages,
475
00:28:35,470 --> 00:28:38,806
has kids and is just as busy as we are.
476
00:28:38,958 --> 00:28:42,582
Yeah. Has their own life. I do not want to be the
477
00:28:42,606 --> 00:28:46,150
identity of this person. Right. Like, you and I
478
00:28:46,190 --> 00:28:49,686
have a very busy life. Yeah. We still have to be
479
00:28:49,758 --> 00:28:53,312
autonomous. Yes. Yeah. And our
480
00:28:53,336 --> 00:28:57,072
kids are very important to us. Yeah. And so if.
481
00:28:57,176 --> 00:29:00,880
If we met somebody, the ideal couple, just like us.
482
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,848
And every now and then, it's a weekend and we get together and we're like,
483
00:29:04,984 --> 00:29:08,960
all right, you can go and stay with him and you
484
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,700
can go and stay with her. And that's it. You know,
485
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,512
I think that that is totally doable. Yeah.
486
00:29:16,656 --> 00:29:19,100
And a single girl,
487
00:29:19,860 --> 00:29:23,788
man, she would have to check off a lot of boxes.
488
00:29:23,964 --> 00:29:27,520
Yeah, a lot. A lot of boxes.
489
00:29:28,020 --> 00:29:31,132
Which is very hard because I'm sure she would
490
00:29:31,156 --> 00:29:34,360
not be able to. Because you'd be.
491
00:29:34,820 --> 00:29:37,980
I mean. Yeah, she'd have to be. Yeah. She'd have to be a
492
00:29:38,020 --> 00:29:42,156
mom. She'd have to be busy. She'd have to understand our
493
00:29:42,228 --> 00:29:45,708
life and how you and I feel about
494
00:29:45,764 --> 00:29:48,364
each other. You know what I mean? Like, in A lot of ways.
495
00:29:48,412 --> 00:29:51,692
Women. I'm a very strong personality.
496
00:29:51,836 --> 00:29:55,436
Yeah, you are. I'm very opinionated. So that's
497
00:29:55,468 --> 00:29:59,036
where it kind of gets. Not everybody's
498
00:29:59,068 --> 00:30:03,084
cup of tea. Right. But, you know, I'm yours.
499
00:30:03,212 --> 00:30:06,812
Yeah. So couple. That's a.
500
00:30:06,836 --> 00:30:10,300
That's a really good conversation. Like, I. Yeah. I did
501
00:30:10,340 --> 00:30:13,932
not like Paulie. I despise Paulie. I do
502
00:30:13,956 --> 00:30:16,648
not think that poly was for us.
503
00:30:16,784 --> 00:30:20,776
Good for you. If you can live poly. Like, way to fucking
504
00:30:20,808 --> 00:30:24,024
go. Wow. A lot of negativity right there.
505
00:30:24,192 --> 00:30:27,300
But it's me. Everyone's used to it,
506
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:32,120
but the idea of. Of dating.
507
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:36,260
I guess a couple that's pretty much like us would be.
508
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,994
That'd be cool. Definitely wouldn't. I don't know
509
00:30:41,002 --> 00:30:44,482
if I'd call it poly. What would you call it?
510
00:30:44,666 --> 00:30:47,954
Friends with benefits. Friends with benefits. Yeah,
511
00:30:48,082 --> 00:30:51,746
but we're already doing friends with benefits. More benefits.
512
00:30:51,938 --> 00:30:55,458
And the fact that we would always be around them.
513
00:30:55,514 --> 00:30:58,642
You know what I mean? Like, they would be part of the family, like our
514
00:30:58,666 --> 00:31:01,922
friends, you know, those. The friends that we have that are like that. And I
515
00:31:01,946 --> 00:31:05,650
find that so fucking awesome. And it's so. It's so amazing
516
00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:09,022
how they make it work. And so I. I think I'd be cool. Cool with
517
00:31:09,046 --> 00:31:12,450
that. Yeah. Maybe that's a discussion
518
00:31:12,790 --> 00:31:16,158
that's interesting. Well, you guys just heard a
519
00:31:16,214 --> 00:31:18,490
very off the wall, off the top,
520
00:31:18,950 --> 00:31:22,542
not planned out at all. Yeah. Wednesday. So I
521
00:31:22,566 --> 00:31:25,630
hope you guys enjoyed that. We are going to wrap up here. I hope
522
00:31:25,670 --> 00:31:29,118
you enjoyed the show. Be sure and tune into our show on
523
00:31:29,174 --> 00:31:32,686
Sunday. Yeah, that should be a really, really interesting show.
524
00:31:32,758 --> 00:31:35,730
Till then, we will see you next. Next week.
525
00:31:35,850 --> 00:31:36,630
Bye,
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:23,704
This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. We explore topics
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surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships, and related subjects
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Hello and welcome to Beyond Monogamy.
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00:00:59,124 --> 00:01:03,188
I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And today in our Wednesday quickie.
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Actually, I have a question for you, sir.
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Okay, ask away. So we are gonna do something a
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little different. We just got right into it. We did. Yeah.
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So you and I have been disgusting. Disgusting?
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I am not disgusting. We have been. How dare you. We have been discussing
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different dynamics because you have
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made the lifestyle
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a lot better. I made the lifestyle a lot better?
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How would you say that I've made. You're being a lot more transparent.
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I don't have to pick and prod at you now. You held anything
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back for me in previous years. It's just you. You don't share. I'm an
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over sharer. Yeah. If I'm talking to somebody, I might.
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I even show you my messages because I. I find it interesting. What people.
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Yeah, you. You. You share too much. Oh, do I? No, no,
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no. I mean. Okay, like, it's duly noted. No, I'll take it easy there.
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Hey, we said we weren't going to get passionate. Take it easy.
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No, I'm saying, like, you would tell. Me and you don't share enough. So and
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so messaged me and I'm like, okay. Yeah. But it just. It was just
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high and high. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Like, it's unnecessary.
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I don't need to know. So I was thinking,
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and we were just talking about not thinking, but we were talking about it because
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I have been getting hit up by a lot of women that
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kind of want to take me out. Right? Like, take you out. Yeah.
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And so we do not do the dating thing.
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00:02:27,296 --> 00:02:30,344
No, no, we don't do the dating thing. We are not Polly.
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And of course you're gonna say we don't do the dating thing because you're the
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one who puts all these rules on me.
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Very tight leash on this man because he's
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awesome. Oh. And yeah,
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00:02:43,944 --> 00:02:47,346
now I know you're never leaving me. I'm glad you know that.
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Yeah. This. He's. You're never Leaving me? No. You're going to be with me forever.
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Yes. You love me. Yes. Sex with me
44
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is great. Amazing. Sex with me is amazing.
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Yeah. You and I have just. We're. We're soul mates.
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Like. Oh, totally. That's it. Point blank. Yes. And so we
47
00:03:06,090 --> 00:03:09,250
were discussing this, right? And I am the one
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who puts all these little caveats on the swinging
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thing. Just because I wouldn't say
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it's insecurities. I'm just not comfortable with everything.
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I like to share you. But to an extent now
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you do not see eye to eye on some of these things. No, no.
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00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,920
But you are cool with. Like, if you were to take
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someone out, would you be cool with dating? I would be okay with being
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00:03:36,736 --> 00:03:40,482
poly again. Oh, yeah, you kick that
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out of your bone. See, no, that's what I'm saying. Like, I don't even.
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I. I am not poly. Why? Because. Why would you like to be
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poly again? I didn't say I would like to be poly again. I said
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I'd be okay with being poly again. Well, that's liking.
60
00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:58,786
Well, yeah, I suppose. I mean, it's liking. Why? I mean, what,
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what, what makes you want to be poly again?
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What is drawing you? Actually, no, I don't want to be Polly again.
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You said it on a few shows. Well, no, I said
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I liked. I did like poly. No, you said if we were to do it
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again, you would be down for it. I would? Yeah, sure. Why I'm asking you.
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I don't know. Okay. I don't know.
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Sometimes the idea of dating is appealing.
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But then I remember,
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so when we were poly, it was different. We were out
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here. There was no real network, we didn't know anybody.
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So then I was on the stupid swipe left. Swipe right.
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Easier now. I think it would be easier now. For you to date.
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Because if I were to date, it would be somebody in
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one of the groups that we need. Like, you'd want a girlfriend.
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Oh, God, when you say it like that. It would be a girlfriend. You'd be
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dating somebody. You know what, let me, let me change this up here,
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okay? Not as a single man. I would date
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somebody with you. I would take on a girlfriend, like an equal
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three way relationship. If there was somebody out there who was
80
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equally into you and equally into me. And it
81
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was somebody that we could both connect with as a couple
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and individually, I would absolutely be
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down for that. That's interesting. Yeah, I would be down for that.
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Because you wouldn't necessarily be sharing
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time, my time, because we could do things all three of
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us together. Yeah. And then there would be times where, you know,
87
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it would be separate. One or the other. Yeah. But it would be somebody that
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we really, really trust. Yeah. And really, really are comfortable with.
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And. Yeah. You know, I like,
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I like, I do. Like, that's a really good
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point. That would be. I think that would be the only way that I would
92
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go back to poly. But when you. What if it was a couple. If it
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was a couple that wanted to date us as a couple, I would be into
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00:05:58,656 --> 00:06:02,312
that, too. Yeah. Yeah, I would be into that. I'd have to be,
95
00:06:02,336 --> 00:06:05,912
like, really comfortable. But. Yeah. Yeah. But we were talking about.
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Because I'm getting hit up for dates and stuff.
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Right. And I was like, you know, you're making it very easy.
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00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:16,152
The lifestyle a lot easier. And I feel like I'm
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grown and I'm not as insecure as I used to be.
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But. But,
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00:06:22,544 --> 00:06:24,990
but you want.
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You said something. You're like, okay, so it's like, even if
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you were to go out, I would go out and I would totally understand that,
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but I don't. I wouldn't let you do that
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with every person. See, I don't understand. So that's where you're like,
106
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well, why is it situational? It is situational
107
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because I don't. I do not trust every person.
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But you trust me. That has nothing to do with it. But that's
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all. But that should. That should have everything. And you would think so, doesn't it?
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You can put me in a situation around a
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bunch of people that are not trustworthy, and you should be able
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to know that I will be able to get out of that situation.
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You should be able to trust me. Yeah. To do the right thing.
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Now, if you can't trust me, then what
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are we basing this relationship off of? A sex.
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Oh, are you being serious? Just kidding. I trust
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you. I just don't trust other women. Like, women can get
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attached, and I understand that you can control that, but then I have to
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step in, period. If someone tells my husband,
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00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:36,068
oh, I really want to see you every day, I'd be like, hold.
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Pump your brakes, girl. This ain't what this is about.
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You know what I mean? Like, and I love you, but you.
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You get attached sometimes. I do, and I don't like that. You don't
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like that? No. Like, you're. You're only attached to me. Like, to this. Like,
125
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this is the only thing you're going to get attached to. And that's where I
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get, like. I do not get Attached to people.
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I. I like everybody, but I do not get
128
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attached to people. I have. I can. I can drop people on a whim,
129
00:08:04,628 --> 00:08:07,748
and so can you. I mean, look at our.
130
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Our families. Right. You know, but for some reason different.
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Yeah, for some. Because they're mean to you or. They're mean, right? They're horrible people.
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But I. I don't know. Like, I don't mind it.
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I don't mind us going out and dating other people,
134
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but. Yeah, there's just certain people that I'd be like,
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no, no, not at all. You can go have
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sex with her, but you're only probably gonna have sex
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with her once. And that's. I don't know.
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I just don't. I don't. I don't like the. The whole.
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The whole dating thing. So then you wouldn't entertain a
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date when. When a woman. Only. Only because of that.
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Only because Stephen Stevens. Because even Stevens now,
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what if there's a person and you're like, no, you can't. I can't
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date them or I can't go out on a date with them?
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I mean, I'm sure you just haven't come up to that.
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I don't think you would be okay with every. Right now you're gonna say,
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yeah, anybody? Yeah, I'm okay with it. I have no. I have no problem with
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it because you told me that. I don't. I don't. I don't get intimidated
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by people. I don't get intimidated. Well, you have an insecurity about
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something. Yeah, I just. I don't know what it is, but that is an insecurity.
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I just don't. Like there's more to it. You know what it is?
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I think I do not find that you don't
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get attached. I can understand. Okay, I'm not gonna get attached,
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but the other person just wanting a little too much
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because I've seen it happen, and it's so fucking
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annoying. You've seen it happen with who? I've seen it happen
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with a lot of women that are even your friends back in the day that
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would be just. Just attached to you. Like,
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really. I need to talk to him every day, and I need to have this
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connection with him every day. And it's like, you.
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You. We kind of got out of that.
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But yeah, you. You have. You even have that now,
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where it's just that needing that want, that whole.
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You're such a great listener. And I have a lot of friends that
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I talk. Yeah, but I'm saying, like, that, like, if it gets romantic,
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like, if it gets sexual, it's gonna get romantic. It's gonna get.
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It's gonna evolve into something. And I think that's where I'm like,
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I couldn't. I would never let that happen. 1. Because I just don't
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get attached to people. Like, that's just my. My thing.
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I'm. My marriage. Not that I'm saying
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that you're. That you don't think about our marriage, but I put
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you somewhere that no one can get through.
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Do you know what I mean? Like, it's hard for me to explain to you.
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Well, I mean, I don't want you to take on another husband. No, but like,
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I would never let someone get infatuated or I would never let in.
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Not that I'm saying that you would, but I'm just saying patterns,
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you know, like you're. You're very loving and
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doting person to your friends.
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Yeah. Imagine if you were to have sex with
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your friends and show them a little bit more attention.
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Well, honey boo, we were. We were poly. I had girlfriends.
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Yes. And it wasn't like that. It kind of was
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you. It kind of was. I just made it harder at the very beginning.
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You know what I mean? Like, I made it hard. Fizzle. Yeah. You know,
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it would get. Yeah, that's true. You did make it. Yeah, I made it hard.
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I mean, I did. I didn't like it, so I
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made it hard. Yeah, I guess you got a point. You know what I mean?
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And this is easier. And so what we were discussing was.
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Okay, well, maybe we should try it. Like you. We go.
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We play separately is what we were discussing. Playing separately.
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Not even the. So much of the dating. Yeah, really, it was, it was less
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dating. It was more place. Separately. Yeah, it was playing separately. Right. Because right now
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we just look for couples. Yeah. And right now
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if a girl wants to play with you and she doesn't like girls,
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if I can watch and if I can't watch, I'm kind of okay
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with it. It just depends on the person. Right,
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but we were just depends on the person.
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That. That's always going to throw me off. Why?
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Because I just don't understand. Like, what are, what are the. What are
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the requirements? What. What's the prerequisite
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to. To be that person? Well, you said it depends on
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the person. Yeah. Like, if I get a good vibe from the girl,
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by all means you can play. I. I had a lot. I was
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just curious. Yeah. Like, some women just rub me the
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wrong way. Yeah. And I just,
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I'M like, no, you know, just. Some women just
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rub me the wrong way. Sure. You know, you are.
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You like everybody. Yeah, that's true.
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Yeah, you. You're a beautiful soul.
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I enjoy almost everybody. There's some people I don't. I don't
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imagine if it was somebody you didn't like like that, and you'd be like,
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oh, I'm cool with them, and then they wanted to have sex with me,
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and you'd be like, yeah, no. You know, I'm just starting
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to find that voice of saying no now. Yeah.
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Because previously I would have said, hey, if that's what you want,
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do it. Yes. Yeah. But now I'm starting to go,
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you know what? No, I don't think
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so. Well, I find that hot, so it doesn't matter to me. Yeah, no,
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no, I'm. I'm. I'm starting. No. Are you saying no
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because of what, because you don't like that person or.
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Just because I would be saying no because I don't like that person. Yeah.
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Yeah. You see, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, but you can deal with that
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person on a friendly level or be cordial with them. No, actually, if I
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don't like a person, I don't. I don't associate with them at all.
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See, I'm a person that keeps. I keep my enemies or people I don't
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like very close to me. I don't do that at all. No.
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Or at least people know, or at least at
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vision where I can see them, because. Yeah, that's just
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me. I expel them. So the way I look at it for. For me is
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I am a. A good person. I'm a good positive influence
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to have around. If you're gonna screw me over,
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well, you don't deserve these people. Don't screw you over. Is there Is. Have you
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never met somebody. No, I've never met a person that I just said I
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didn't like that guy. Really? Actually. You have.
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I. Yes. When? I mean, you have.
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You've been like, nah, that person was. Nah.
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Yeah. And then I give them a second shot, and then I'm like, okay.
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They're all right. No, get out. No, stop it. Don't be
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making you sound like you're a little angelito. I'm telling you, man, you're not.
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Anyway, our conversation. Our conversation was,
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do we want to play separately? Yeah.
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And so because I. You said it was. I found it funny that you came
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up to me to ask me if I wanted to. Yeah.
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And it's. It's like, you already know my answer. Yes.
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For me, the problem that I have is that there are people
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out there that I would like to play with
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and because you want it to be a couple thing,
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if you don't, you know, get along with
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them or if you don't find them attractive, you know, you and I,
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we like different things. You like everybody and I don't.
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There's a difference between us. Yeah, for sure. I mean, just being. There's a
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difference between us nonetheless, you know, that's the.
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That's the whole idea. There is. That I have to pass
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up on an opportunity that I want to take part in because of
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this rule that you have. Huh? Hey,
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it is what it is. You can give me that look. That's. That's fine.
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But. But that's what I'm saying. That's. Yeah. So. And so then we.
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But I'm okay with that. As I have said in previous episodes,
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I am okay with that because I can appreciate the
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fact that you let me do whatever it is I do. For the
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most part. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So. So I'm willing to
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be like, okay, whatever. She doesn't. This is the rule she wants.
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I'll deal with that. Right. But would I like to play separately
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on occasion? Yeah, absolutely. And it's not because I
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don't want you there, whereas previous times it would
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have been the case because I would have been too worried about you. But sometimes,
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sometimes in the moment,
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say I'm at the club and I have
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this. I just have this wicked fantasy about this girl coming up to me
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and taking me by the hand and take me to the back,
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and you notice I'm
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gone. And it is what it is.
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Like, you just, like, continue on doing your thing.
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I show back up later. You know what I'm saying? You keep
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saying, huh? I'm going to keep dragging it out. That's pretty much it.
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I'm like. I like. Okay. I feel like I have to describe more.
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Oh, I got you. That was the gist of it. Okay, so, like, just grabbing
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you and just taking you. Yeah, yeah. And so.
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But I can't do that. That in the moment, kind of.
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Because I would have to pull you to the side and tell
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you, hey, this is so and so. Or like,
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you know, there's something hot about in the moment. You know what I mean?
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I understand that. So then having to break that moment by
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pulling her over here and saying, here, meet my wife,
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and you guys got to shake hands, and this needs to vibe and she's
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going to come back and watch this. Is that okay? Like, it's like.
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And you don't think. You don't think in the. I mean, it's fun, but it's
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in. The swinger community that's already ingrained
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in people's minds. It is to. But to,
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like, tell the. Or not tell the spouse, but know
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that. So not for everybody. Not for everybody.
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And some people are an in the moment kind
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of person. Like, don't ask, just kind of do it.
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Yeah, yeah. Which is hot.
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Yeah. I mean, it could be hot. And I'm not saying, like,
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just anywhere. Like an agb, somebody's gonna pull me off to the
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yogurts and we're gonna get it on. But I'm saying, like, in a sex club.
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I mean, we're there for sex. Yeah. And it could be one
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of those moments where we're in the back putting on a show, we're done with
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our show, and we're walking back to the front and
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you're leading the way, and somebody just kind of grabs me and maybe
301
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kisses me a certain way and says, come on, and pulls me
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to the back. And you'd be cool with if that happened to
303
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me? Well, no, I need to know where you go.
304
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I mean, you're leaving. It's different. Honey, why,
305
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babe? Because. No, no, hold on. Because I don't know who you're
306
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with. But I'm not gonna know who you're with. Yeah, but ain't
307
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nobody gonna rape me. Do you understand the difference? No one's gonna rate me.
308
00:18:44,474 --> 00:18:47,730
Why? No one is gonna rape me. I was saying this
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works. I'm asking you. So it's
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somebody. Maybe I've talked to them before. Yeah. And they
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see us at the club, and you're walking us out of the room.
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Boy, that really changes things. And they grab me
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and they say, hey. They give me a kiss,
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and it gets real passionate right there. And it's like, hey, do you want to
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go to the back? And I just kind of let go and I'm like,
316
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okay, let's go. And we go to the back, and you're looking around.
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Where the hell did she go?
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And then I come back to you, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. They just
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grabbed me as I was walking and we got it
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on. Hmm. Yeah, you can do that.
321
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Okay. Really go for it.
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Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No,
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it's even Steven and hell to the no. Is that gonna happen?
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No. Oh,
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gosh. Anyway. Anyway, we were talking about separate play.
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We were Talking about separate play. Yeah. And. And is there.
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Is it okay to be. To say no to
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people? Is the no still okay?
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So Brian's coming in, and Brian wants to
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have sex with me, and you're like,
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no, not him. Is that okay to do?
332
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I think. I think yes. I think it is okay to do.
333
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I. I mean, I wouldn't have to ask you why. Well, no. And so
334
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I think it's okay to do because I have
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respect for you as my wife and as my friend.
336
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And since we're doing this together. Yeah. If you told me
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no and you. You didn't have to give me a reason. But I did
338
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tell you no when we were talking about it. And you're like, but why?
339
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And I was like, just because. No. And you're like, nah, you see,
340
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that's because it's somebody that you want.
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It's somebody that you really want to play with,
342
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and you're down to play with alone. Yeah. And I was like,
343
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no, not that one. And you said,
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okay, well, then, no. We'Re just like, well, we were having a conversation.
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We're having the conversation now. But you know what I mean?
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Like, well, I mean, you know what? You should be able to ask why.
347
00:21:08,432 --> 00:21:11,720
I'll accept. Okay, homie, you just went back.
348
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You just said. Yeah, no, I'm changing it. No. Yeah. I can't change it.
349
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,840
No. Well, hey, excuse me, but what if. It'S a just because I said
350
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so? I just don't want that. I don't want that person. I just don't.
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I don't. There's something about that person. I just. But you know, in every aspect
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of our lives, when we argue. Yeah. I have to
353
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know the why. Yes. So why would this be any different?
354
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The person is damaged and something is going to happen.
355
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Okay, that. That's all I need to hear. Okay. That's it.
356
00:21:39,088 --> 00:21:42,484
Yeah. That's all. Yeah. Okay. You know what I'm saying? So,
357
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I mean, I have to know the why. I'm so down to do. Because I
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love women. I love to play with women. Now, for me, my separate
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play would probably be more for women as
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opposed to men. I mean, there may be an occasional guy that
361
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I want to play with, but I. I enjoy playing
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with women because I haven't really had the chance to do that.
363
00:22:05,020 --> 00:22:08,240
Now you. You would
364
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,536
be playing with just women. I mean, obviously. Obviously you don't play.
365
00:22:11,688 --> 00:22:14,720
Now, couples. I would be down for
366
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,640
couples. Yeah, you'd be. Okay. Like, because I know there's a couple that wants
367
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,584
you. Right. Is There. I mean, there's a couple that wants both of us,
368
00:22:21,592 --> 00:22:25,488
but, like, she wants you to. To play with her. If I'm down
369
00:22:25,544 --> 00:22:28,832
for you to go and play with them. But are you down for me to
370
00:22:28,856 --> 00:22:31,860
go and play with couples? We're having this conversation.
371
00:22:32,850 --> 00:22:35,630
Oh. It's not live. It's. You know what I mean? Whatever.
372
00:22:36,210 --> 00:22:39,370
Would I be okay for me to. Play with couples because.
373
00:22:39,410 --> 00:22:43,274
Well, obviously even you had previously said no, because you'd have.
374
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,842
I had previously said no, because what. If you
375
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:49,962
wanted to sleep with the girl? And not to mention,
376
00:22:50,106 --> 00:22:53,882
we have rules. Like, if we're going to put rules on everything, then I might
377
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:57,834
as well put a rule in myself. You know what I mean? Right. The rules
378
00:22:57,882 --> 00:23:01,492
are yours. And so I'm like, I want to put one in. Yeah. And so
379
00:23:01,516 --> 00:23:05,636
that was my rule. Yeah. But realistically, I don't
380
00:23:05,668 --> 00:23:09,236
care. So. Yeah. If. If it's even.
381
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:12,292
That's my thing. As long as it's even. Well, yeah, you can let me go
382
00:23:12,316 --> 00:23:15,556
do my thing. Cool. You can go do your thing. Yeah.
383
00:23:15,668 --> 00:23:19,360
Yeah. Well, this is a good conversation. That's something.
384
00:23:20,620 --> 00:23:23,860
I mean, I was just wondering, like, is. Is it okay to do the.
385
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:27,106
No. Because I'm down for the whole
386
00:23:27,218 --> 00:23:30,370
separate play, but if there's just somebody that I just do
387
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:33,986
not want you to play with separately, we cool
388
00:23:34,018 --> 00:23:37,070
with just saying no? Not that one.
389
00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:41,282
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, there's. As long
390
00:23:41,306 --> 00:23:44,546
as there's good reason. Yeah. You know, if.
391
00:23:44,618 --> 00:23:47,234
If it's just. I just don't. I just don't like it.
392
00:23:47,322 --> 00:23:50,402
Yeah. That never has worked for me. Yeah.
393
00:23:50,466 --> 00:23:53,548
Ever. In the times that we've been together. Oh, I know. Never worked for me.
394
00:23:53,604 --> 00:23:56,796
I come up with just. Damn. Just some random excuses sometimes.
395
00:23:56,828 --> 00:23:59,244
Yes. I know it doesn't work for you. You want to know something? I have
396
00:23:59,252 --> 00:24:02,076
to know. I know. I have to know. Yeah.
397
00:24:02,268 --> 00:24:06,012
At least it satisfies something in. In my brain mentally. I have to
398
00:24:06,036 --> 00:24:09,420
know. And, like, I mean, I guess I was my. That was my main thing.
399
00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:12,844
Like, you were so against the no when I told it to you, and I
400
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:16,572
was like, why? Why is there no? I'm giving,
401
00:24:16,636 --> 00:24:19,676
like, you know, like, we're giving each other this much freedom.
402
00:24:19,788 --> 00:24:22,440
Right. I feel like a little bit of a.
403
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:26,700
A little bit of a boundary or a rule is okay.
404
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:30,888
Like, I mean, it may come down at some point. Look how far
405
00:24:30,944 --> 00:24:34,344
we've gotten. Yeah. You know, it's like. And it's not that
406
00:24:34,352 --> 00:24:37,720
I don't trust you. And see, that's the part that always. I I
407
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,432
go back to. Because that's what it feels like. No, I trust
408
00:24:41,496 --> 00:24:44,984
you. I trust you a hundred percent. You know exactly how.
409
00:24:45,072 --> 00:24:48,392
You know. You know me. You know, if I find something, if I
410
00:24:48,416 --> 00:24:52,240
am going to react to something, you know me. You know exactly how I am.
411
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:55,264
And so when I was telling you that, I was like,
412
00:24:55,352 --> 00:24:59,100
well, I mean, there should be a. No, there should be at least something
413
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,152
in there, because I just
414
00:25:03,176 --> 00:25:05,584
don't want to. I'm down to share you,
415
00:25:05,752 --> 00:25:09,264
but not with absolutely everybody.
416
00:25:09,392 --> 00:25:12,380
Okay, well, how about this? What if,
417
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,256
you know, we're coming up. With all these things right now. Go ahead. What if
418
00:25:16,328 --> 00:25:19,120
you find somebody, right? And you say,
419
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,640
okay, I'm gonna do this. And I'm gonna be like, okay, cool. Yeah, they seem
420
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,128
all right. Go have fun. And then you come back and it's all
421
00:25:26,184 --> 00:25:29,792
done and say, hey, good for you. So then I come back
422
00:25:29,816 --> 00:25:32,432
and I say, okay, well, I wanna do this with this person. You go,
423
00:25:32,536 --> 00:25:34,940
no, I don't like that person.
424
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,660
Okay, fine, let me try with someone else.
425
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,592
What about this person? No, I don't like that person either.
426
00:25:42,656 --> 00:25:45,568
Yeah. Guess what I'm gonna start doing? You're going to start.
427
00:25:45,624 --> 00:25:48,416
I'm going to start getting very. But I would be, I would be very even
428
00:25:48,488 --> 00:25:51,280
Steven with you. I would not. But that's the thing. That's the thing. I,
429
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,704
I, that's the thing is you. Again, you're going to tell me yes, even though
430
00:25:54,712 --> 00:25:59,024
you don't like that person because you want to be even Steven. You know,
431
00:25:59,192 --> 00:26:02,096
knowing me and loving you the way I do. Yeah,
432
00:26:02,208 --> 00:26:06,512
probably. Okay, see then that. Probably because I understand.
433
00:26:06,696 --> 00:26:09,152
Because there's not a lot of people in,
434
00:26:09,256 --> 00:26:12,650
in, in your little black book that
435
00:26:12,690 --> 00:26:16,250
I would say no to. There's only a
436
00:26:16,290 --> 00:26:18,810
few that I would be like,
437
00:26:18,930 --> 00:26:22,826
no, you never know. I might end up picking those few.
438
00:26:22,898 --> 00:26:26,810
Yeah, you probably would. Yeah, I'd have to give in. I'm all about,
439
00:26:26,930 --> 00:26:30,122
all about making you happy. But then that
440
00:26:30,146 --> 00:26:33,738
would contradict the rule that you just made. But it's my rule.
441
00:26:33,834 --> 00:26:37,322
Like, they're my. They're our rules. See, it's not a rule if you're just gonna
442
00:26:37,386 --> 00:26:41,546
bend it at a. But you're saying if I say no, am I okay?
443
00:26:41,658 --> 00:26:45,562
Would I say no every single time? Of course not. I would not. And you
444
00:26:45,586 --> 00:26:48,710
don't know everybody I like and everybody I don't like.
445
00:26:49,010 --> 00:26:52,778
I get, I get some pretty good vibes. No, I keep that really close
446
00:26:52,834 --> 00:26:56,906
to my. I keep that you're not as you think you are.
447
00:26:56,978 --> 00:27:00,778
Right. I know you okay. Yeah, I feel you then.
448
00:27:00,834 --> 00:27:04,490
I mean, then you're smart enough not to ask about those people.
449
00:27:04,610 --> 00:27:08,216
No, I am not. You know damn
450
00:27:08,248 --> 00:27:11,192
well I'm not. Yeah, I always push the envelope.
451
00:27:11,336 --> 00:27:15,272
I mean, you know, it's. It's definitely
452
00:27:15,336 --> 00:27:18,540
easier now than it was. I mean, that's positive.
453
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,944
It's definitely easier now. And we're. We're.
454
00:27:22,072 --> 00:27:24,872
You know, all the rules that we had before and all the little boundaries we
455
00:27:24,896 --> 00:27:28,060
had before are pretty much fading.
456
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,912
Only because we're. We're growing and, you know,
457
00:27:32,096 --> 00:27:35,266
it's comfortableness. Yeah.
458
00:27:35,378 --> 00:27:38,930
Yeah. And like, food. I just
459
00:27:38,970 --> 00:27:42,322
don't like everything, really. Yeah.
460
00:27:42,386 --> 00:27:45,394
I mean, I just. I mean, for the most part, you like everything, food wise.
461
00:27:45,442 --> 00:27:49,378
That's true. I don't think you don't like anything. I don't like gizzards.
462
00:27:49,474 --> 00:27:52,226
Oh, wait, I do. Yeah, you do. You eat them. Yeah. I don't like sweet
463
00:27:52,258 --> 00:27:55,522
bread. Oh, I like that. I don't like liver.
464
00:27:55,666 --> 00:27:59,362
Oh, no, no liver. There you go. All right, so it's not everything, but,
465
00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:02,892
I mean, I. I do like. It is something that we
466
00:28:02,916 --> 00:28:05,800
can discuss. Yeah. You know?
467
00:28:06,180 --> 00:28:09,772
Well, I. I just. I mean, I learned something new with
468
00:28:09,796 --> 00:28:13,708
the whole. You would be interested in dating another
469
00:28:13,844 --> 00:28:17,640
girl or couple. You would be open to that.
470
00:28:18,260 --> 00:28:21,420
That. That one. That one caught me off guard. Yeah. I mean,
471
00:28:21,460 --> 00:28:24,956
it was very different back in the day. It was different back in the day.
472
00:28:25,028 --> 00:28:27,320
You know, if I knew somebody who.
473
00:28:28,270 --> 00:28:31,574
Perfect person, perfect couple. Okay.
474
00:28:31,702 --> 00:28:34,810
Would be somebody who is just around our ages,
475
00:28:35,470 --> 00:28:38,806
has kids and is just as busy as we are.
476
00:28:38,958 --> 00:28:42,582
Yeah. Has their own life. I do not want to be the
477
00:28:42,606 --> 00:28:46,150
identity of this person. Right. Like, you and I
478
00:28:46,190 --> 00:28:49,686
have a very busy life. Yeah. We still have to be
479
00:28:49,758 --> 00:28:53,312
autonomous. Yes. Yeah. And our
480
00:28:53,336 --> 00:28:57,072
kids are very important to us. Yeah. And so if.
481
00:28:57,176 --> 00:29:00,880
If we met somebody, the ideal couple, just like us.
482
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,848
And every now and then, it's a weekend and we get together and we're like,
483
00:29:04,984 --> 00:29:08,960
all right, you can go and stay with him and you
484
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,700
can go and stay with her. And that's it. You know,
485
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,512
I think that that is totally doable. Yeah.
486
00:29:16,656 --> 00:29:19,100
And a single girl,
487
00:29:19,860 --> 00:29:23,788
man, she would have to check off a lot of boxes.
488
00:29:23,964 --> 00:29:27,520
Yeah, a lot. A lot of boxes.
489
00:29:28,020 --> 00:29:31,132
Which is very hard because I'm sure she would
490
00:29:31,156 --> 00:29:34,360
not be able to. Because you'd be.
491
00:29:34,820 --> 00:29:37,980
I mean. Yeah, she'd have to be. Yeah. She'd have to be a
492
00:29:38,020 --> 00:29:42,156
mom. She'd have to be busy. She'd have to understand our
493
00:29:42,228 --> 00:29:45,708
life and how you and I feel about
494
00:29:45,764 --> 00:29:48,364
each other. You know what I mean? Like, in A lot of ways.
495
00:29:48,412 --> 00:29:51,692
Women. I'm a very strong personality.
496
00:29:51,836 --> 00:29:55,436
Yeah, you are. I'm very opinionated. So that's
497
00:29:55,468 --> 00:29:59,036
where it kind of gets. Not everybody's
498
00:29:59,068 --> 00:30:03,084
cup of tea. Right. But, you know, I'm yours.
499
00:30:03,212 --> 00:30:06,812
Yeah. So couple. That's a.
500
00:30:06,836 --> 00:30:10,300
That's a really good conversation. Like, I. Yeah. I did
501
00:30:10,340 --> 00:30:13,932
not like Paulie. I despise Paulie. I do
502
00:30:13,956 --> 00:30:16,648
not think that poly was for us.
503
00:30:16,784 --> 00:30:20,776
Good for you. If you can live poly. Like, way to fucking
504
00:30:20,808 --> 00:30:24,024
go. Wow. A lot of negativity right there.
505
00:30:24,192 --> 00:30:27,300
But it's me. Everyone's used to it,
506
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:32,120
but the idea of. Of dating.
507
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:36,260
I guess a couple that's pretty much like us would be.
508
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,994
That'd be cool. Definitely wouldn't. I don't know
509
00:30:41,002 --> 00:30:44,482
if I'd call it poly. What would you call it?
510
00:30:44,666 --> 00:30:47,954
Friends with benefits. Friends with benefits. Yeah,
511
00:30:48,082 --> 00:30:51,746
but we're already doing friends with benefits. More benefits.
512
00:30:51,938 --> 00:30:55,458
And the fact that we would always be around them.
513
00:30:55,514 --> 00:30:58,642
You know what I mean? Like, they would be part of the family, like our
514
00:30:58,666 --> 00:31:01,922
friends, you know, those. The friends that we have that are like that. And I
515
00:31:01,946 --> 00:31:05,650
find that so fucking awesome. And it's so. It's so amazing
516
00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:09,022
how they make it work. And so I. I think I'd be cool. Cool with
517
00:31:09,046 --> 00:31:12,450
that. Yeah. Maybe that's a discussion
518
00:31:12,790 --> 00:31:16,158
that's interesting. Well, you guys just heard a
519
00:31:16,214 --> 00:31:18,490
very off the wall, off the top,
520
00:31:18,950 --> 00:31:22,542
not planned out at all. Yeah. Wednesday. So I
521
00:31:22,566 --> 00:31:25,630
hope you guys enjoyed that. We are going to wrap up here. I hope
522
00:31:25,670 --> 00:31:29,118
you enjoyed the show. Be sure and tune into our show on
523
00:31:29,174 --> 00:31:32,686
Sunday. Yeah, that should be a really, really interesting show.
524
00:31:32,758 --> 00:31:35,730
Till then, we will see you next. Next week.
525
00:31:35,850 --> 00:31:36,630
Bye,