More Than Monogamy: The ENM Documentary Every Couple Needs to See | Dylan Birdsall & Spark Erotic

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All right, y'all.

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Before we dive in, a quick heads-up

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This show is raw, real,
and definitely not rated PG

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We're talking about adult themes,
sexual content, and the kinda stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through
your speakers at work or around your kids

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice, and get comfy

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Oh, and just so we're clear,
we are not licensed therapists,

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counselors, or sex couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches

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Not sex couches

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We're just a couple of people sharing
our lives, experiences, and sexy

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adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show

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Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris, and this one, I've
been looking forward to all week.

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Yeah, same.

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So here's the deal.

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Every once in a while, somebody actually
makes a piece of work about this.

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Mm-hmm

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...
the lifestyle, swing, poly, kink,
all of the stuff under the ENM

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umbrella, and they don't do it as
outsiders looking in with a clipboard.

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They do it from the inside, with
humor, with love, with actual experts

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and actual community at the table.

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And tonight, we get to talk to the team
behind one of these pieces of artwork.

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Like, it's amazing.

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We saw it, and I absolutely loved it.

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It's a brand-new documentary called More
Than Monogamy, and we got to sit down and

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watch it before this whole conversation.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, so we're definitely fueled by that.

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And I'm just gonna say it
straight up, we loved it.

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This is the kind of doc I think every
curious couple should watch, every

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veteran in the lifestyle should watch
it, and frankly, any therapist with

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clients in this world should check it out.

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Yeah, and what's even cooler is we don't
just have the director with us tonight.

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We got the whole creative team, babe.

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Hell yeah.

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Three voices behind this film all here.

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All here.

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Yes.

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Okay.

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So before we bring them in, though,
if you're brand new here, welcome.

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We are so glad you found us.

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Everything Beyond Monogamy lives
at www.beyond-monogamy.com, every

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episode, video clips, guest bios,
merch, our events tab, blah, blah,

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blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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You guys hear it every episode.

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You know what's there.

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But you also know what my
favorite part is, don't you?

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The confessional.

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That's right.

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It's 100% anonymous.

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Absolutely.

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It's my favorite.

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Whatever's on your mind about the
lifestyle, drop it in the confessional.

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Yes.

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So do us a favor.

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Hit subscribe.

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Leave a five-star review on Spotify, Apple
Podcasts, wherever you're listening, and

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share this episode with somebody who needs
it because after you hear this one, I

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guarantee- You know somebody who needs it.

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Yeah, guarantee it.

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Okay, so our guest tonight, joining
us from All the Birds Productions,

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director and co-creator of More Than
Monogamy, an award-winning documentary

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filmmaker whose first feature vCard won
Best Documentary Feature at CineKink.

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Please welcome Dylan Birdsall to the show.

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And from Spark Erotic, the production
team that co-created the film and

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who have been making real couples'
story-driven festival award-winning

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exotic work for years, Urvashi and Kama.

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Welcome.

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Yes.

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Welcome, guys.

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Hi, guys.

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Welcome, guys.

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I said it all right.

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Yeah, you did.

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You did incredible.

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You did

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it.

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I usually, like, stop and I just,
like- You did ... bump him and

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I'm like, "You just finish the
rest, please," 'cause it's a lot.

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She knows to throw the word edit
in there- You- ... because then

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I just look for the word edit.

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Yes.

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And

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scratch it out.

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Yes.

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That's how scared

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it is.

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Yes.

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You never know.

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And

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I tell him, like- ... "You
like to hear yourself talk.

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Like, you talk a lot." And he's like, "I

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know." Bro, I gotta give them props, man.

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These guys are awesome.

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I gotta toss it out there.

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Well, welcome guys.

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We're super glad that you're here,
and let me tell you that I enjoyed

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that film that you made, and I
also shared it with a friend.

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Yeah?

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Yeah, I did, and she loved it.

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Yeah?

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Thank you so much for doing that.

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Yeah, she did.

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She really... Yeah.

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Awesome.

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She loved it.

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Yeah.

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She was like, "Oh my goodness,
this is amazing." Yes.

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Get it.

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Well, you know, uh, being content
creators as well as podcasters in this

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niche, in this field, um, we have a
lot of people who are new to ethical

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non-monogamy, or even just considering
it, and they have nowhere to start.

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They have no idea what these terms are.

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Yeah.

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Everything is just like Grand
Central Station to a lost puppy.

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Like, they don't know what's going on.

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Yeah.

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Um, and I gotta tell you, your,
your movie hit up on all of it.

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Mm-hmm.

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Uh, now before we get into the
movie, I would like to know about-

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Okay ... all of you as far as
how did you get into this niche?

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Yeah.

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Uh, how did you... You know, are, are...
What's your background with non-monogamy?

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Yeah.

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Urvashi, why don't you start?

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So C- Cama, Cama and I got into it
because we actually were... And I

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know this is something we, th- it's
really said in the thing too, is don't

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start this to fix your relationship.

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We actually were in a real
bind in our relationship.

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There had been some infidelity,
but there had been a situation of,

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I felt very strongly just because
there was infidelity did not mean

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that the relationship was over.

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And I know in the secular world, the
idea is the second someone has anything

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outside that relationship- Yeah, they
don't try ... the relationship's over.

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Yeah.

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Just, you know-

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Yeah

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...
bomb it, never see that
person and don't talk.

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But if you try, and I recognized
there was so much more value to

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the relationship than just the
sexuality, and that was important,

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but there were so many other things.

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So we decided to explore, and we
began to explore and find our own

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ways around it and how this would be.

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And it was this idea of sharing this
adventure rather than, you know, having

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someone have to go and seek something they
really needed in, in their relationship.

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You know, it was, uh, rather than
trash it because someone really needed

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this, look to see what you can do.

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See what you could, how you
can adapt, how you could make

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this positive for both people.

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It- That's

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amazing ... ended up
working out great for us.

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No, you're right.

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There's more to a relationship, and I've
always, I- I've always felt like you.

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Like, cheating is cheating and, you
know, it's- it's hard, it's hurtful.

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But once you get past that and you, you
see that you're with that person for

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something else, like, it's not only that.

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Like, that can be repaired, I think.

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So yeah.

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That's awesome.

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I love that.

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Yeah.

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Plus, you really get to
know your, your partner.

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Yeah.

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Like, you really get... Like- Yeah ... we
knew each other, but then we started this,

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and we really got to know each other.

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So yeah.

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Oh, for sure.

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I get that.

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It, it definitely- Yes ... it,
it taught us a lot about that

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communication- Oh ... that you have to
do, that, that is so very important,

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that we didn't actually realize.

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I, I think, like- Oh, yeah ... this
movie would've helped us so much

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because, as you said, you come in,
you're never taught anything sex- Mm-hmm.

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Yeah ... there's no sex education
in this, in this country really,

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and if it is, there's nothing about
that there's anything beyond- Mm-hmm

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heterosexual normative
n- narrative at all.

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Um, so I, I really feel like
that was super important, was to

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learn how to communicate at this
level- For sure ... and not be

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afraid to

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communicate these

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things.

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That's one of the big roadmaps, like,
in the movie, is, like, trying to- It

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is ... point people towards, like, you
can talk about jealousy, you can talk

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about these things that are maybe topics
that you would want to not talk about

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in a monogamous relationship, right?

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That could lead these barriers.

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Uh, for me, I got into the lifestyle
because my first documentary

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film, uh, V Card, uh, I made
that as a virgin, thus the title.

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Uh- Nice.

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And the woman who I lost my virginity
to was in a poly relationship, and

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because I was doing a ton of research
about sexuality for that film, uh, the

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lifestyle just made a ton of sense to me.

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So when I was lucky enough to lose my
virginity and then lose it to somebody who

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was already in the lifestyle, it was very
easy for me to basically transition from

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virgin into, like, going to sex clubs.

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Yeah.

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It wasn't a- You

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didn't

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go buck wild, yeah.

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You were like, "Ah!"

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It wasn't a hard... It wasn't a as hard
of a transition as one might think-

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from nothing, nothing to everything.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Zero, like zero out of reality.

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Like a kid in a candy store.

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Uh, yes.

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A c- a very consensual, very
communicative kid in a candy store.

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That's awesome.

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Yeah.

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No, that, um, that's a
really good way to start.

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Now, Kama, i- if I could ask you, uh, how,
how did the three of y'all come together?

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I'm really curious about that because,
uh- Sure ... y- you know, it's, it's,

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it's a lineup of the usual suspects.

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Like, I, I... you gotta
connect the dots here for

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me.

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Sure.

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Well, we first, uh, met Dylan at
Cinecank, actually, uh, the year

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that V Card was, uh, screening there.

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And, uh, we had, had been attending
Cinecank, and actually, you know,

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for many years brought films,
uh, to that en- environment.

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Um, and, you know, one of the cool
things- Multiple award winners, guys.

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Multiple award winners.

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One of the, one of the cool things
about, uh, film festivals is

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getting to meet other filmmakers.

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And, you know, there's meet and
greets and, you know, you go out and

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have drinks and talk about stuff,
and everybody sees each other's

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work, and it's, it's just a very
collaborative, kinda cool environment.

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And even though there's some competition
involved, it's, it's, you know,

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that's mostly on the back burner
comparatively to the experience of, of

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really getting to, to know each other.

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And so we kinda clicked
with Dylan right away.

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Um, and after that, you know, Dylan
and, and his buddy came out and did

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a documentary, uh, you know, a short
piece on Spark Erotic and, and what

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we'd done, kind of how our team worked
and how we planned movies and all that.

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And, um, and, you know, we stayed
in touch, and then, then as, as this

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developed, uh, it really was two separate
projects originally, and each of us

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00:09:36,626 --> 00:09:40,816
were gonna do our own documentary,
and we decided we might as well team

243
00:09:40,816 --> 00:09:44,546
up and shoot interviews together
because we could each use that content.

244
00:09:44,866 --> 00:09:45,116
Mm-hmm.

245
00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:50,986
And, um, as, as we kinda went along
in the process, we decided, uh, well,

246
00:09:51,576 --> 00:09:55,376
rather than, you know, having two
separate projects going on, let's

247
00:09:55,466 --> 00:09:59,176
combine efforts and, and put it, put
it together and come up with, with

248
00:09:59,176 --> 00:10:00,566
something that's very solid, so.

249
00:10:01,066 --> 00:10:02,376
And look at you guys now.

250
00:10:02,416 --> 00:10:02,546
I know.

251
00:10:02,546 --> 00:10:04,686
Here you are with your movie.

252
00:10:05,336 --> 00:10:06,096
That's freaking cool.

253
00:10:06,096 --> 00:10:06,236
It is.

254
00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:07,216
I'm sorry, but that's

255
00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:07,716
freaking cool.

256
00:10:07,716 --> 00:10:07,806
It is.

257
00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:12,196
Um, I mean, just the, the process
of the way it was filmed, the way

258
00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:16,106
y'all did it, the way y'all broke it
down was, um, very easy to follow.

259
00:10:16,106 --> 00:10:16,186
And

260
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,576
it was uber educational.

261
00:10:17,606 --> 00:10:17,796
Yeah.

262
00:10:17,796 --> 00:10:18,106
I

263
00:10:18,106 --> 00:10:19,006
mean, all the way.

264
00:10:19,126 --> 00:10:19,446
Yeah.

265
00:10:19,446 --> 00:10:19,536
Good.

266
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,256
Uh, it felt like, you know,
I, I'm not gonna lie to you.

267
00:10:22,286 --> 00:10:22,346
Yes.

268
00:10:22,346 --> 00:10:28,616
It felt like what you would imagine
would be shown in a sex ed class.

269
00:10:28,646 --> 00:10:28,976
Yes.

270
00:10:29,316 --> 00:10:32,366
Uh, i- i- it was that- Well, thank
you ... it was that education.

271
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:32,536
Oh, good.

272
00:10:32,536 --> 00:10:32,856
Yeah.

273
00:10:32,996 --> 00:10:35,546
Uh, it, it, it felt,
it had that feel to it.

274
00:10:35,546 --> 00:10:39,346
And I- Good ... I loved every bit of it
because, you know, you're talking to so

275
00:10:39,346 --> 00:10:45,616
many different people, uh, a- and, and
getting everybody's separate opinions.

276
00:10:45,616 --> 00:10:49,886
Yeah ... and, and also educating
and, and throwing out vocabulary.

277
00:10:49,886 --> 00:10:51,576
I, I was very impressed.

278
00:10:51,576 --> 00:10:52,826
It was a wonderful movie.

279
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:56,875
Our goal from the start as a team-
Mm-hmm ... when we sat down and were

280
00:10:56,875 --> 00:11:01,785
like, "What is the documentary that we
want to make?" Um, is very much like

281
00:11:01,785 --> 00:11:04,355
what you said, is like, " what would
you have liked to have seen when you got

282
00:11:04,355 --> 00:11:05,685
into the lifestyle for the first time?"

283
00:11:06,355 --> 00:11:10,945
And we luckily had, had already watched
a ton of documentaries kind of on this

284
00:11:10,945 --> 00:11:15,015
subject matter, and none of them really
did a great job of, as you said, like

285
00:11:15,136 --> 00:11:18,795
education, kinda giving people this-
Yeah ... this roadmap to look to.

286
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:24,485
And all three of us were so gung-ho
about it being a tool for people

287
00:11:24,485 --> 00:11:28,505
to learn from, like to get these
experiences and to, and to show that

288
00:11:28,505 --> 00:11:31,525
it is as normal as it can be, right?

289
00:11:31,855 --> 00:11:34,445
Like, it's a perfectly
fine way to live your life.

290
00:11:34,445 --> 00:11:36,845
It's a- Yeah ... really great thing
that you can have in your life.

291
00:11:37,365 --> 00:11:40,886
And we bent over backwards to
make sure that we could educate

292
00:11:40,925 --> 00:11:43,585
people instead of be like, "Ooh,
look at how titillating this is."

293
00:11:44,025 --> 00:11:44,655
Yes.

294
00:11:44,655 --> 00:11:45,215
Yeah, yeah.

295
00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:46,035
Yeah, for sure.

296
00:11:46,035 --> 00:11:47,206
Well, you know, a lot of the- Yeah

297
00:11:47,235 --> 00:11:52,675
judgment that we receive from
the outside world are people

298
00:11:52,675 --> 00:11:54,566
that don't, they don't know.

299
00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:55,055
Mm-hmm.

300
00:11:55,195 --> 00:11:56,555
They're not educated in this.

301
00:11:56,555 --> 00:11:59,535
So because they don't know, they
automatically- Exactly ... just push

302
00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:02,845
off, they, they, they have these
thoughts that are incorrect and

303
00:12:02,845 --> 00:12:05,175
they go, "Oh, these people, they're
all cheating on each other and-"

304
00:12:05,305 --> 00:12:05,555
Yeah

305
00:12:05,585 --> 00:12:07,985
"and, you know, they don't love
each other." And just so many

306
00:12:07,985 --> 00:12:10,756
just false, false statements.

307
00:12:10,926 --> 00:12:13,146
I think the reason too was really
important for us to make it more

308
00:12:13,146 --> 00:12:14,986
educational and accessible that way.

309
00:12:15,476 --> 00:12:18,136
We had seen so much, and I think
that's another reason why we get

310
00:12:18,136 --> 00:12:21,096
judged the way we do, is when we
do see these documentaries about

311
00:12:21,186 --> 00:12:25,396
anything outside of normal marriage
type of ideas, relationship kind

312
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:28,116
of ideas- Yes ... they're usually
done in a very sexual manner.

313
00:12:28,216 --> 00:12:28,386
Mm-hmm.

314
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:32,106
It's more about pushing the sexuality
than it is about anything else, and it's

315
00:12:32,106 --> 00:12:36,306
not about pushing the humanity behind it
or the decisions or other reasons why,

316
00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:41,586
um, this is possible for people or, or
a really good decision for some people.

317
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:45,836
Um, so I think that was really important
to us to not bring any sexuality, not

318
00:12:45,836 --> 00:12:48,906
to, not to make it sensationalized
at all, but to make it more about

319
00:12:48,996 --> 00:12:50,496
ordinary people doing something- Yeah.

320
00:12:50,526 --> 00:12:51,646
Oh, yeah ... quite ordinary.

321
00:12:52,546 --> 00:12:55,556
Um, and it's just maybe a different
path of how you're getting there.

322
00:12:55,656 --> 00:12:57,646
But it's no different, I think, than...

323
00:12:58,146 --> 00:13:01,396
I, I, and it's gonna sound really
funny, but I don't think... W- when

324
00:13:01,396 --> 00:13:04,516
Kama and I first started this, I kept
saying, "I don't feel like there's

325
00:13:04,516 --> 00:13:08,746
anything non-monogamous going on
here," which is really strange to say.

326
00:13:09,066 --> 00:13:12,806
But the idea of the fact that it's not
as sexual as you think, and it's more,

327
00:13:13,216 --> 00:13:18,126
to, to us, I think it still felt there
was such a, a emphasis on us being this

328
00:13:18,126 --> 00:13:20,566
strong couple, uh, that it wasn't...

329
00:13:20,736 --> 00:13:23,376
It, it seemed to be more ethical
than what had happened before.

330
00:13:23,376 --> 00:13:26,416
It seemed to not be about
cheating or non-monogamy.

331
00:13:26,486 --> 00:13:27,366
All of a sudden, it seemed like you

332
00:13:27,366 --> 00:13:27,486
were- Right

333
00:13:27,486 --> 00:13:27,876
...
more monogamous

334
00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:28,246
in a weird way.

335
00:13:28,246 --> 00:13:31,586
Well, you know, it's, it's about
real relationships because that's

336
00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:33,846
the way it is when you have-
Mm-hmm ... a real relationship- Mm-hmm

337
00:13:34,126 --> 00:13:36,916
and you're trying to
navigate something like this.

338
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:40,266
Uh, you know, Urvashi,
I, I watch a lot of porn.

339
00:13:40,726 --> 00:13:43,466
Um- ... and I can tell you that
there is- I can tell about the

340
00:13:43,466 --> 00:13:45,366
problem ... nothing educational out there.

341
00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:49,766
Everything is built, uh, as, as Nina
Hartley said in our show, uh, not

342
00:13:49,766 --> 00:13:57,226
too long ago, everything is basically
to be aimed towards the young guy-

343
00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:57,656
Yes

344
00:13:57,656 --> 00:14:02,356
uh, to set up this fantasy, and
a lot of the non-monogamy porn,

345
00:14:02,766 --> 00:14:07,796
quote, unquote- Yeah ... is, is
all about these false fantasies.

346
00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:11,506
And so then people come into this
lifestyle thinking that this is

347
00:14:11,506 --> 00:14:15,506
the way it is, and then they learn
right quickly that it is not.

348
00:14:15,876 --> 00:14:19,556
And for that, I think you need to
come and watch some of our erotica.

349
00:14:20,436 --> 00:14:24,096
We call it ethical erotica as
well, and we, um... 'Cause we use-

350
00:14:24,176 --> 00:14:27,786
Oh ... real couples, real situations,
very Hollywood kind of feeling.

351
00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:30,066
As far as scripts, there's a
beginning, middle, and end.

352
00:14:30,066 --> 00:14:33,426
It's a real-life situation you'd find
a couple in or more than a couple.

353
00:14:33,936 --> 00:14:36,096
Um, so I think you'd
really appreciate that.

354
00:14:36,096 --> 00:14:38,266
If you've never seen porn to
educate- I love to be stimulated

355
00:14:38,266 --> 00:14:38,926
at both heads

356
00:14:38,986 --> 00:14:40,626
I think you'd like ours.

357
00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:45,836
Now, Kama, I, I, Kama, I'm gonna wrap
you in here because Spark Erotic, and I'm

358
00:14:45,836 --> 00:14:50,006
gonna go a little bit off, uh, topic from
the, the movie, but I would love to know

359
00:14:50,376 --> 00:14:52,216
about Spark Erotic- I was just about to

360
00:14:52,216 --> 00:14:52,706
ask.

361
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:53,056
Yeah

362
00:14:53,086 --> 00:14:54,466
...
if you could break it down for me.

363
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:55,666
Sure.

364
00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:55,756
Sure.

365
00:14:55,756 --> 00:15:01,286
Well, Urvashi and I have been erotic
photographers together for over 25 years,

366
00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:10,014
and we started in still photography,
and we work as a team, um Doing

367
00:15:10,014 --> 00:15:14,694
photography where I'm the one behind
the lens doing the technical aspects of

368
00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:18,634
the photography, and whenever we shoot
films, I'm the director of photography.

369
00:15:19,164 --> 00:15:23,134
But she's the director in regards to,
you know, calling what the shots are

370
00:15:23,134 --> 00:15:27,404
gonna be and- Mm-hmm ... really arranging
things from an art design standpoint.

371
00:15:27,984 --> 00:15:33,104
And so both our photography and our
films have both a male and a feminine

372
00:15:33,104 --> 00:15:38,044
perspective, which makes them unique
because most porn that's shot is

373
00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:40,024
kind of a guy with a camera, right?

374
00:15:40,024 --> 00:15:40,114
Yes.

375
00:15:40,344 --> 00:15:42,044
And it's staring.

376
00:15:42,554 --> 00:15:45,974
Okay, that's how I define the difference
is, is that pornography is about staring.

377
00:15:45,974 --> 00:15:46,114
Don't

378
00:15:46,114 --> 00:15:46,504
do that.

379
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:50,594
You know, you have one shot- Yeah ... for,
you know, 20 minutes on a blowjob, okay?

380
00:15:50,594 --> 00:15:52,044
That's not the way life works.

381
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:57,184
And, uh ... Thank you ... people,
people have jaw muscles, and you

382
00:15:57,184 --> 00:15:59,714
wanna get onto other things, and,
you know, all this kind of stuff.

383
00:16:00,124 --> 00:16:00,224
Yeah.

384
00:16:00,224 --> 00:16:05,714
So what, what we believe a- about
erotic is, it is more glancing, okay?

385
00:16:05,824 --> 00:16:09,554
And if you look at any great
shot Hollywood film, it's

386
00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:11,184
about camera motion, okay?

387
00:16:11,184 --> 00:16:14,234
It's about taking a perspective
and showing that perspective

388
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,164
by moving the camera, okay?

389
00:16:16,164 --> 00:16:20,044
There's very, very few still shots
that just stay on a tripod, right?

390
00:16:20,624 --> 00:16:23,164
Um, but there's a lot of porn that's
shot that way, and a lot of POV

391
00:16:23,164 --> 00:16:27,124
whi- which absolutely has no... You
know, nobody's making up a shot.

392
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,214
They're basically catching-
Yeah ... what they catch.

393
00:16:29,444 --> 00:16:29,674
Yeah.

394
00:16:29,784 --> 00:16:35,734
And so we decided that after a long time
in doing still photography, which we

395
00:16:35,734 --> 00:16:40,294
were primarily doing, uh, for couples
within the lifestyle, and willing to do

396
00:16:40,294 --> 00:16:43,634
things that were more explicit than a
standard boudoir kind of photographer,

397
00:16:44,164 --> 00:16:45,754
that Urvashi said, "You know what?

398
00:16:46,244 --> 00:16:50,414
I'd really like to take this
into film." Um, she has a, a

399
00:16:50,414 --> 00:16:52,384
degree from USC in fine arts.

400
00:16:52,384 --> 00:16:52,584
Probably

401
00:16:52,584 --> 00:16:53,174
also 'cause-

402
00:16:53,174 --> 00:16:56,494
You know, hung out with a lot of the- Yeah
... the rat- Brat Pack- Yep ... you know,

403
00:16:56,494 --> 00:16:58,054
crew whenever she was going to school.

404
00:16:58,584 --> 00:16:59,164
Oh,

405
00:16:59,244 --> 00:16:59,344
cute.

406
00:16:59,344 --> 00:17:00,104
Yeah.

407
00:17:00,104 --> 00:17:00,594
Nice.

408
00:17:00,594 --> 00:17:01,164
That's awesome.

409
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:01,334
I did.

410
00:17:01,334 --> 00:17:03,254
I've been a photographer-
Yes ... you know, throughout my life.

411
00:17:03,254 --> 00:17:03,874
I sure did.

412
00:17:04,154 --> 00:17:07,504
And obviously- Yeah ... my
favorite subject matter is, is

413
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:08,964
human sexuality to photograph.

414
00:17:09,544 --> 00:17:14,724
And so, you know, our efforts together,
you know, moved from doing still

415
00:17:14,724 --> 00:17:18,764
photography into film, and both of
us being, you know, movie buffs and

416
00:17:18,764 --> 00:17:22,384
really appreciating that, um, you
know, just was a very natural fit.

417
00:17:22,443 --> 00:17:23,994
So that's, that's the way it developed.

418
00:17:23,994 --> 00:17:26,393
So Spark was started 10 years ago.

419
00:17:26,684 --> 00:17:29,973
Um, we've produced 25 films to date.

420
00:17:30,304 --> 00:17:30,714
Oh my

421
00:17:30,714 --> 00:17:31,294
gosh.

422
00:17:31,344 --> 00:17:31,744
11 actually.

423
00:17:31,744 --> 00:17:32,393
11 years, yeah.

424
00:17:32,393 --> 00:17:34,083
Uh, I guess it is- 11 years,
guys ... it is 11 now.

425
00:17:34,404 --> 00:17:34,524
Yeah.

426
00:17:34,584 --> 00:17:35,744
Yeah ... 25 films to date.

427
00:17:36,004 --> 00:17:39,563
And, as Dylan had mentioned-
Yeah ... many of them were award

428
00:17:39,563 --> 00:17:41,983
winners of- People want porn ... the
Audience Choice Award at CineKink.

429
00:17:42,623 --> 00:17:45,353
In fact, we won an unprecedented
five years in a row.

430
00:17:45,353 --> 00:17:45,474
Nice.

431
00:17:45,474 --> 00:17:45,553
Wow.

432
00:17:45,584 --> 00:17:47,663
That's awesome.

433
00:17:47,663 --> 00:17:50,793
No- nobody'd ever... Yeah, nobody had
ever won two years in a row, and we won

434
00:17:50,793 --> 00:17:53,123
the second year, and then we came back
the third year, and it's like by the time

435
00:17:53,123 --> 00:17:56,053
they got to the fifth they were like,
"Maybe you should let somebody else win."

436
00:17:56,703 --> 00:17:57,783
But that was fun, so.

437
00:17:57,813 --> 00:17:58,813
Look at you, record

438
00:17:58,813 --> 00:17:59,563
breakers.

439
00:17:59,563 --> 00:17:59,763
It's

440
00:17:59,763 --> 00:17:59,883
weird.

441
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:04,783
It was also, for, for me too, it was
very, very important because Kevin

442
00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:08,273
did really enjoy porn, and he tried
to get me to watch porn with him.

443
00:18:08,273 --> 00:18:12,683
And I was just like, "Bleh." I could
not find myself or my sexuality.

444
00:18:12,923 --> 00:18:13,903
I could find no reality.

445
00:18:13,903 --> 00:18:15,223
I f- and again, it was so much- Yeah.

446
00:18:15,223 --> 00:18:18,763
Yes ... for the male fantasy that
I just thought it was... I wanted

447
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:19,703
to like porn, but I couldn't.

448
00:18:20,253 --> 00:18:24,923
So my thought was, I would like to make
something that other women and couples

449
00:18:25,213 --> 00:18:28,853
and people who are interested can come
in and, and see themselves, be given

450
00:18:28,853 --> 00:18:32,313
permission, feel that it's ethical
in the sense that there is, there is

451
00:18:32,513 --> 00:18:34,693
mutuality, there is true connection.

452
00:18:34,723 --> 00:18:36,163
This is true human sexuality.

453
00:18:36,193 --> 00:18:36,903
This is fantasy.

454
00:18:37,353 --> 00:18:38,833
And yes, we film it at this level.

455
00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:42,793
It's really high quality, but at the
same time, again, it is real couples.

456
00:18:42,843 --> 00:18:46,063
We're seeing actual couples who
are absolutely in love, who have

457
00:18:46,063 --> 00:18:48,823
these connections, who are together-
Yeah ... that it just flows

458
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:49,343
really naturally.

459
00:18:49,343 --> 00:18:50,803
There is something in, in his
films as a, as an outsider who

460
00:18:50,803 --> 00:18:51,643
doesn't make them- So, yeah

461
00:18:52,123 --> 00:18:54,063
with them except for obviously
the documentary I made.

462
00:18:54,343 --> 00:18:54,423
Yeah.

463
00:18:54,453 --> 00:18:59,793
There is a level of intimacy in their-
Okay ... erotica that is not normally

464
00:18:59,793 --> 00:19:01,983
shown in any form of pornography.

465
00:19:02,313 --> 00:19:05,043
And I think a lo- that intimacy is nice.

466
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:06,003
Like Yeah.

467
00:19:06,093 --> 00:19:08,103
It, it's nice to show that in a movie.

468
00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,003
Like, to be real life.

469
00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:11,193
Like, that, you know, like it's...

470
00:19:12,113 --> 00:19:12,573
You're right.

471
00:19:12,573 --> 00:19:14,643
There's not a lot of good porn out there.

472
00:19:14,643 --> 00:19:20,273
It's a lot of just POVs or, you know, just
one guy holding this camera and he's like-

473
00:19:20,343 --> 00:19:22,153
Yeah ... you know, banging this chick.

474
00:19:22,263 --> 00:19:22,583
Yeah.

475
00:19:22,973 --> 00:19:25,433
It's- It's not, it's not fun.

476
00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:27,363
Like, I, I love porn.

477
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:28,403
I mean, I can get off to it.

478
00:19:28,463 --> 00:19:28,663
Yeah.

479
00:19:28,663 --> 00:19:29,373
I mean, I love porn.

480
00:19:29,373 --> 00:19:29,813
I'm a simple guy.

481
00:19:29,863 --> 00:19:30,943
But I'm very picky.

482
00:19:30,943 --> 00:19:31,403
Like, I wanna find- Yeah.

483
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:32,173
It has one

484
00:19:32,173 --> 00:19:32,663
job.

485
00:19:33,063 --> 00:19:33,803
One job.

486
00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:34,223
Give him, give him-

487
00:19:34,363 --> 00:19:37,613
And I, and if I watch a porn
all the way through to the

488
00:19:37,613 --> 00:19:39,293
end, that was a shitty porn.

489
00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:39,583
Yeah.

490
00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:40,123
You know what I mean?

491
00:19:40,123 --> 00:19:40,303
Like-

492
00:19:40,303 --> 00:19:41,063
He's like, "If it hasn't-"

493
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:41,703
Sorry.

494
00:19:41,703 --> 00:19:41,963
I shouldn't

495
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:42,563
have seen the end credits.

496
00:19:42,563 --> 00:19:44,403
And then my doggy, he's like,
"Six minutes, you're good."

497
00:19:44,473 --> 00:19:44,633
Yeah.

498
00:19:45,293 --> 00:19:47,303
No, like I- But- ... I'm
very, I'm very picky.

499
00:19:47,303 --> 00:19:49,333
Like, I wanna, I wanna
have something that's good.

500
00:19:49,363 --> 00:19:52,333
You know, I personally like
just a cer- I like girl on girl.

501
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:53,663
That's all I like to watch.

502
00:19:54,143 --> 00:19:57,053
I'll watch something with him,
but it's, that's my favorite.

503
00:19:57,053 --> 00:20:01,813
And to find something
that's good, it's hard.

504
00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:03,053
Like, it really is.

505
00:20:03,053 --> 00:20:03,623
So- Which

506
00:20:03,623 --> 00:20:04,053
is crazy.

507
00:20:04,053 --> 00:20:04,183
It is.

508
00:20:04,183 --> 00:20:08,053
'Cause girl on girl is the genre that
is most directed by women as well.

509
00:20:08,803 --> 00:20:09,883
Well, you know-

510
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:10,753
Yeah.

511
00:20:10,753 --> 00:20:12,493
Well, you'll have to watch our Daybreak

512
00:20:12,493 --> 00:20:12,623
film.

513
00:20:12,623 --> 00:20:12,683
Okay.

514
00:20:12,683 --> 00:20:13,393
I haven't seen

515
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:13,543
it.

516
00:20:13,543 --> 00:20:13,823
You will

517
00:20:13,823 --> 00:20:13,963
love it.

518
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:15,263
You know, my, I, that's so funny.

519
00:20:15,323 --> 00:20:16,473
I, you know, I've al- Oh.

520
00:20:16,513 --> 00:20:20,013
I, I told Adam, I said, "Once I fix
my body, I totally wanna be a porn

521
00:20:20,013 --> 00:20:21,213
star," and he's like, "Really?"

522
00:20:21,473 --> 00:20:22,193
And I'm like, "Yeah!

523
00:20:22,313 --> 00:20:22,793
I, I don't care.

524
00:20:22,793 --> 00:20:24,963
I'm gonna be a 50-year-old- I
mean, I got no issue with- ... I'll

525
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:26,363
be a 50-year-old porn star.

526
00:20:26,863 --> 00:20:31,233
Please, Let me just say, and, and, and
I actually took myself as a stripper at,

527
00:20:31,323 --> 00:20:34,103
at, at, when I turned 50, I said, "The
gift I wanna give myself- I've done that

528
00:20:34,103 --> 00:20:34,813
... is to become a stripper." I sucked.

529
00:20:34,813 --> 00:20:35,933
Just for fun, and I did it.

530
00:20:36,383 --> 00:20:39,053
Within a week, I was
out-performing the girls.

531
00:20:39,103 --> 00:20:41,593
I had, already I had
regulars within a week.

532
00:20:41,623 --> 00:20:42,563
I had requests.

533
00:20:42,703 --> 00:20:43,373
It was unreal.

534
00:20:43,373 --> 00:20:45,793
So, and I will also say to
you, do not wait- Just do it.

535
00:20:45,793 --> 00:20:46,483
... to change your body.

536
00:20:46,843 --> 00:20:47,603
The time is now.

537
00:20:47,943 --> 00:20:48,403
That's what I'm saying.

538
00:20:48,403 --> 00:20:51,233
You are beautiful the way
you are, authentically you,

539
00:20:51,673 --> 00:20:53,253
and I think that just you-

540
00:20:53,573 --> 00:20:53,933
No,

541
00:20:54,223 --> 00:20:54,993
just do it

542
00:20:54,993 --> 00:20:55,383
don't wait.

543
00:20:55,383 --> 00:20:55,493
Okay.

544
00:20:55,493 --> 00:20:55,663
Do it.

545
00:20:55,663 --> 00:20:57,553
I, oh, yeah, that's what it's,
yeah, I was gonna say- There's no...

546
00:20:57,993 --> 00:21:00,113
Well, there's, because there's also,
there's- Yeah, that's true ... there's

547
00:21:00,113 --> 00:21:04,103
no promise of tomorrow, so I, and
I have, I know that quite directly.

548
00:21:04,103 --> 00:21:07,883
So honestly, I, I, I think if you
have that dream- Just do it ... and

549
00:21:07,883 --> 00:21:09,043
you wanna do it, it would be

550
00:21:09,113 --> 00:21:09,973
wonderful for you to just do it.

551
00:21:09,973 --> 00:21:12,923
On top of that, if there is any genre
of film that is most accepting of

552
00:21:13,003 --> 00:21:16,123
every body type, it is pornography.

553
00:21:16,373 --> 00:21:16,513
It

554
00:21:16,513 --> 00:21:16,883
is pornography.

555
00:21:16,883 --> 00:21:19,533
There is- That is true ... there
is someone who wants to see you.

556
00:21:19,533 --> 00:21:19,673
Yeah.

557
00:21:19,773 --> 00:21:21,653
I guarantee you.

558
00:21:21,653 --> 00:21:23,033
He tells me that all the time.

559
00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:23,293
Oh, yeah.

560
00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:23,753
It's true.

561
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,453
Oh, yeah.

562
00:21:24,953 --> 00:21:25,573
It's so true.

563
00:21:25,573 --> 00:21:26,253
Chris, you are

564
00:21:26,253 --> 00:21:27,203
someone- Oh, yeah

565
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:27,493
just screamed.

566
00:21:27,493 --> 00:21:29,113
I mean, there's, there's
disability porn You really are.

567
00:21:29,113 --> 00:21:29,593
Trust

568
00:21:29,593 --> 00:21:29,763
me, you are.

569
00:21:29,763 --> 00:21:31,053
There's people that have- There is.

570
00:21:31,053 --> 00:21:33,413
There is ... like stutters
that like, that's the niche.

571
00:21:33,413 --> 00:21:33,473
Yeah.

572
00:21:33,473 --> 00:21:33,623
You know?

573
00:21:33,623 --> 00:21:35,383
I mean, like- Yeah ... there's
all sorts of stuff out there.

574
00:21:35,883 --> 00:21:39,943
So yeah, I, I was laughing about that
'cause I, I got horribly injured, just

575
00:21:39,943 --> 00:21:42,963
wanted to tell you, so you don't have
necessarily a opportunity for tomorrow,

576
00:21:43,413 --> 00:21:46,523
and I was all covered in bandages and
everything else, and I had somebody go- Mm

577
00:21:46,553 --> 00:21:47,663
"You should send the pics." Bandage porn.

578
00:21:47,663 --> 00:21:50,363
And I was like, "Oh, oh-"
... "accident porn." Check mark.

579
00:21:50,363 --> 00:21:51,123
"Injury porn." Okay.

580
00:21:51,123 --> 00:21:51,993
That is a thing?

581
00:21:51,993 --> 00:21:53,133
That's a thing apparently.

582
00:21:53,133 --> 00:21:53,463
Good to know.

583
00:21:53,463 --> 00:21:54,253
Add

584
00:21:54,253 --> 00:21:54,283
that

585
00:21:54,283 --> 00:21:54,823
to the list.

586
00:21:54,823 --> 00:21:54,983
All right.

587
00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:58,323
If you can think it, you
can kink it, all right?

588
00:21:58,353 --> 00:21:58,423
Wow.

589
00:21:58,423 --> 00:21:59,333
Like, just...

590
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:02,813
it was gonna be the original tagline
of the movie, but it didn't make

591
00:22:02,813 --> 00:22:05,953
any sense- ... because we barely
talk about kink at all in the film.

592
00:22:06,123 --> 00:22:06,533
But it was-

593
00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:06,633
Yeah.

594
00:22:06,633 --> 00:22:10,213
And you know, I'm surprised because
there's a large portion of, uh, ENM

595
00:22:10,213 --> 00:22:12,633
that includes, uh, kink, but I, you
know, it's such a huge- That's your

596
00:22:12,633 --> 00:22:14,793
next film We- That, that should
be a film on its own We have an

597
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:15,843
explanation for this.

598
00:22:16,023 --> 00:22:16,663
Well, okay.

599
00:22:16,663 --> 00:22:19,803
We got, we got to the point, yeah,
we got to the point where we're

600
00:22:19,803 --> 00:22:21,713
like, "We are doing so much." Yeah.

601
00:22:21,713 --> 00:22:24,753
And you can only- Oh, yeah ... cover
so much, and, and we thought for a

602
00:22:24,753 --> 00:22:27,773
neophyte, for someone coming in who's
brand new- Oh, yeah ... this is a lot.

603
00:22:28,353 --> 00:22:31,933
And so we thought that is a second film,
and maybe somebody else needs to do that

604
00:22:31,973 --> 00:22:33,883
because we're, none of us are really- Yeah

605
00:22:33,883 --> 00:22:35,533
are part of the kink BDSM world.

606
00:22:35,533 --> 00:22:39,563
So we don't feel we have the authentic
voice to tell that story, um, because

607
00:22:39,563 --> 00:22:42,873
we feel that you should, you really
need to know, we do not want 50 Shades

608
00:22:42,873 --> 00:22:44,443
of Gray this thing- ... if we did that.

609
00:22:45,213 --> 00:22:48,293
So, ugh, so you get some people who
are really involved, but we also

610
00:22:48,343 --> 00:22:49,943
thought this is an introductory film.

611
00:22:49,983 --> 00:22:53,663
We'll mention that it exists, but it's
something we've, again, this film is

612
00:22:53,663 --> 00:22:56,413
a launch point where we want people to
start asking the questions, start doing

613
00:22:56,413 --> 00:22:57,983
their own research, start finding it out.

614
00:22:58,013 --> 00:23:00,633
And when you start going to these parties,
you'll start hearing these things.

615
00:23:00,633 --> 00:23:01,663
You'll start learning about it.

616
00:23:01,663 --> 00:23:01,793
Yeah, you

617
00:23:01,793 --> 00:23:02,093
can find

618
00:23:02,093 --> 00:23:02,213
out more.

619
00:23:02,213 --> 00:23:02,503
One of the- And

620
00:23:02,503 --> 00:23:04,033
if you're interested- One of
the great things- Go- ... about

621
00:23:04,173 --> 00:23:08,023
partnering- ... find the avenue ... with,
uh, SPARK, I, I always thought kink

622
00:23:08,023 --> 00:23:09,373
was gonna be a part of the film.

623
00:23:09,373 --> 00:23:13,033
We even filmed... Do you guys remember
filming with, uh, the dominatrix?

624
00:23:13,033 --> 00:23:13,123
Yep.

625
00:23:13,253 --> 00:23:13,313
Yeah.

626
00:23:13,383 --> 00:23:16,133
We have a whole sequence
of me getting flogged- Yeah

627
00:23:16,133 --> 00:23:17,133
and stuff like that.

628
00:23:17,163 --> 00:23:17,633
Oh.

629
00:23:17,693 --> 00:23:18,423
Oh, man.

630
00:23:18,423 --> 00:23:20,103
Um, are we gonna send
that over here- We don't

631
00:23:20,103 --> 00:23:20,433
...
as well?

632
00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:21,143
I've got it on this footage.

633
00:23:21,143 --> 00:23:24,393
Will- You would love to see that
... never see the light of day ever.

634
00:23:24,393 --> 00:23:24,493
He'd

635
00:23:24,493 --> 00:23:25,373
have a time of his life.

636
00:23:25,423 --> 00:23:25,473
Uh-

637
00:23:25,473 --> 00:23:27,483
Dylan, Dylan is big in- He'd
enjoy it ... big in Japan.

638
00:23:27,703 --> 00:23:29,173
Yeah.

639
00:23:29,203 --> 00:23:29,353
I love

640
00:23:29,703 --> 00:23:29,773
it.

641
00:23:29,773 --> 00:23:31,143
Guys, I'm big everywhere.

642
00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:34,933
Um, but the- They have porn for that

643
00:23:34,983 --> 00:23:40,183
the, the more we started editing the
film and really doing the nitty-gritty

644
00:23:40,183 --> 00:23:43,753
of choosing what was gonna be in the
film, Urvashi's absolutely correct.

645
00:23:43,903 --> 00:23:47,203
All three of us didn't feel strongly
enough that we were the correct

646
00:23:47,203 --> 00:23:49,973
voices- To say those things.

647
00:23:50,323 --> 00:23:53,403
And- Mm ... ultimately, I think more
filmmakers should lean into that.

648
00:23:53,443 --> 00:23:56,603
Like, there's nothing wrong with you
telling a story that's maybe not your own,

649
00:23:56,773 --> 00:24:00,173
but if- Mm-hmm ... you're gonna be coming
from a factual- Yeah ... educational

650
00:24:00,173 --> 00:24:04,263
background, I think the strongest
thing that we could do is admit to

651
00:24:04,263 --> 00:24:07,233
ourselves that, like, kink is not the
thing that we are most educated on.

652
00:24:07,343 --> 00:24:07,723
Yeah,

653
00:24:07,723 --> 00:24:08,123
same.

654
00:24:08,123 --> 00:24:10,523
So why, why- Push it, yeah

655
00:24:10,523 --> 00:24:12,523
half-ass it when we have- Yeah.

656
00:24:12,523 --> 00:24:15,993
Yeah ... these other two great subject
matters that we're very good with?

657
00:24:16,153 --> 00:24:19,023
And at the running time already,
it's like, how are we even

658
00:24:19,023 --> 00:24:21,523
gonna fit kink into this without
making this movie two hours long?

659
00:24:21,663 --> 00:24:22,213
So it was like-

660
00:24:22,213 --> 00:24:24,093
And, and kink in itself-

661
00:24:24,093 --> 00:24:25,233
Is so complex ... is a two-

662
00:24:25,233 --> 00:24:27,563
So complex ... a two-and-a-half-hour
movie on its own.

663
00:24:27,563 --> 00:24:27,723
Yeah.

664
00:24:27,723 --> 00:24:27,983
It's huge.

665
00:24:27,983 --> 00:24:28,733
Yeah, it's so much.

666
00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:29,133
It's huge.

667
00:24:29,163 --> 00:24:30,853
We haven't done a show on it- So yeah,
it wasn't- ... because we don't know.

668
00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:31,543
Yeah.

669
00:24:31,633 --> 00:24:32,383
Well, we were very lucky.

670
00:24:32,883 --> 00:24:36,823
Kama was actually the first one
to really say, like, "I think we

671
00:24:36,823 --> 00:24:40,073
need to take the kink section out."
And he was absolutely correct.

672
00:24:40,073 --> 00:24:40,183
Oh.

673
00:24:40,413 --> 00:24:43,463
He, it was- Yeah ... he was the first
one to raise the red flag, and I

674
00:24:43,463 --> 00:24:46,373
actually think it was to our ultimate
benefit that we, we took it out.

675
00:24:47,273 --> 00:24:49,433
I think we just would've been
stuck in the woods, you know?

676
00:24:49,663 --> 00:24:50,583
We couldn't see-
Yeah ... how it saved- Yeah.

677
00:24:50,583 --> 00:24:51,243
What are we saying?

678
00:24:51,243 --> 00:24:51,403
... Kama.

679
00:24:51,403 --> 00:24:52,483
And it's like quicksand.

680
00:24:52,483 --> 00:24:52,683
Yeah.

681
00:24:52,683 --> 00:24:53,753
It'll just suck you in, man.

682
00:24:53,803 --> 00:24:53,933
Yeah.

683
00:24:53,933 --> 00:24:54,163
And

684
00:24:54,163 --> 00:24:55,283
before you know it, you can't get out.

685
00:24:55,363 --> 00:24:56,143
And guess what, guys?

686
00:24:56,223 --> 00:24:58,723
There's a whole genre of
porn dedicated to just that.

687
00:24:58,723 --> 00:24:58,983
It was you.

688
00:24:58,983 --> 00:25:00,713
That's for that.

689
00:25:00,773 --> 00:25:01,843
That's right.

690
00:25:01,893 --> 00:25:02,003
Yeah.

691
00:25:02,453 --> 00:25:03,063
There you go.

692
00:25:03,063 --> 00:25:04,393
For ki- for quicksand.

693
00:25:04,393 --> 00:25:05,013
Now, you know what?

694
00:25:05,013 --> 00:25:05,413
Quicksand porn.

695
00:25:05,413 --> 00:25:08,393
My, I gotta tell you, w- there
was a lot of information in it.

696
00:25:08,423 --> 00:25:11,993
The one that stuck out that was my
favorite though, was establishing

697
00:25:11,993 --> 00:25:16,763
the difference between polyamory and
polygamy because- Yes ... when we were

698
00:25:16,893 --> 00:25:22,863
polyamorous for five years, and when we
started in it, I became a total, nerd,

699
00:25:22,863 --> 00:25:26,843
and I researched everything because
nobody was gonna give me the information.

700
00:25:26,843 --> 00:25:30,003
I, I tried to seek it out from people,
and they would be like, "Well, Google it."

701
00:25:30,273 --> 00:25:30,393
Yeah.

702
00:25:30,393 --> 00:25:33,733
Uh, so I did all the research I could and-

703
00:25:34,043 --> 00:25:35,043
And then he explained it to me

704
00:25:35,043 --> 00:25:37,833
...
I explained it to her and, and
which, uh, she glazed over.

705
00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:44,653
Mm. But what I noticed was even
people in the ENM lifestyle don't

706
00:25:44,693 --> 00:25:48,083
always know the difference i, i-
if they're not p- Unfortunately.

707
00:25:48,083 --> 00:25:51,503
Yeah ... people claim to be polyamorous,
but then they call it the wrong thing,

708
00:25:51,503 --> 00:25:54,593
and then they're saying, "Well, I'm
polygamous." It's like, "No, no, no.

709
00:25:54,593 --> 00:25:55,713
You are not polygamous."
You're, you are not

710
00:25:55,803 --> 00:25:56,203
polygamous.

711
00:25:56,203 --> 00:25:58,243
"
Or you're breaking the law," you know?

712
00:25:58,703 --> 00:25:58,803
Yeah.

713
00:25:59,063 --> 00:26:01,793
I have- Oh, yeah ... never heard
that, that, God, I, I, I would

714
00:26:01,793 --> 00:26:03,803
probably just start laughing
'cause I didn't know what it is.

715
00:26:03,803 --> 00:26:03,993
It's, it's

716
00:26:03,993 --> 00:26:05,023
on the amateur circuit.

717
00:26:05,803 --> 00:26:06,063
Yeah.

718
00:26:06,093 --> 00:26:06,263
It's

719
00:26:06,263 --> 00:26:06,843
on the amateur

720
00:26:06,843 --> 00:26:07,143
circuit.

721
00:26:07,143 --> 00:26:10,813
We, we knew that there were, like, certain
things that had to be in the movie,

722
00:26:10,813 --> 00:26:14,423
and we knew that if we- Yeah ... were
talking about polyamory, the most

723
00:26:14,423 --> 00:26:17,123
often misconception is polygamy, right?

724
00:26:17,213 --> 00:26:17,663
Like they're so- Yeah.

725
00:26:17,663 --> 00:26:21,963
Yeah ... close in voice to- tone and all
this other stuff, and ultimately they are

726
00:26:21,963 --> 00:26:26,773
relationship models that are close enough
on the spectrum that they could be that.

727
00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:31,613
But ultimately we had to make sure
that you know what the difference is

728
00:26:31,663 --> 00:26:36,203
and how one- Yeah ... can be used for-
Yeah ... I mean, both can be bad if

729
00:26:36,203 --> 00:26:40,643
they're done incorrectly, but one has a
very long history of being- Of being bad.

730
00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:42,453
... really atrocious for people.

731
00:26:42,453 --> 00:26:42,523
Of

732
00:26:42,523 --> 00:26:44,004
being confused.

733
00:26:44,813 --> 00:26:45,103
Yeah.

734
00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:46,763
One has a little bit of a taint.

735
00:26:46,902 --> 00:26:50,852
Yeah, I just watched another Netflix,
uh, show about, uh, uh- Same Oh, we

736
00:26:50,852 --> 00:26:52,242
just did this ... the polyamorous thing.

737
00:26:52,242 --> 00:26:53,042
Yeah.

738
00:26:53,082 --> 00:26:54,292
Boy, did that- Oh,

739
00:26:54,292 --> 00:26:54,552
man

740
00:26:54,552 --> 00:26:55,702
...
stir up feelings.

741
00:26:55,732 --> 00:26:57,452
I came away from that furious.

742
00:26:57,452 --> 00:26:57,842
Same.

743
00:26:58,022 --> 00:26:58,242
I mean,

744
00:26:58,442 --> 00:26:59,632
I was so furious again.

745
00:26:59,672 --> 00:26:59,712
Oh,

746
00:26:59,712 --> 00:26:59,832
it's

747
00:26:59,832 --> 00:27:00,472
so mind-blowing.

748
00:27:00,472 --> 00:27:00,712
It's

749
00:27:00,712 --> 00:27:00,912
mind-blowing.

750
00:27:00,912 --> 00:27:00,992
Yeah.

751
00:27:00,992 --> 00:27:01,032
And,

752
00:27:01,032 --> 00:27:05,012
but, you know, that, that major
negative cloud that's over that

753
00:27:05,012 --> 00:27:11,132
section when people confuse the two,
it only spreads that negative cloud

754
00:27:11,132 --> 00:27:13,892
over the, the entire ENM umbrella.

755
00:27:13,942 --> 00:27:14,202
Mm-hmm.

756
00:27:14,292 --> 00:27:14,482
Hmm.

757
00:27:14,482 --> 00:27:18,122
Uh, because people automatically think
that swingers are cheating on each other.

758
00:27:18,452 --> 00:27:22,712
People automatically think that, that
swingers and poly people are the same.

759
00:27:23,132 --> 00:27:25,542
So it's like, well, if you're,
you're having sex, well,

760
00:27:25,542 --> 00:27:26,532
you're gonna date my wife?

761
00:27:26,532 --> 00:27:28,982
Like, even swingers are confused
about that at sometimes.

762
00:27:29,192 --> 00:27:29,252
Yeah.

763
00:27:29,252 --> 00:27:29,312
Yeah.

764
00:27:29,312 --> 00:27:35,352
Uh, you know, I feel like your
movie is not just for new people,

765
00:27:35,352 --> 00:27:37,142
but it should be for everybody.

766
00:27:37,142 --> 00:27:37,382
Yeah.

767
00:27:37,382 --> 00:27:37,622
Really.

768
00:27:37,912 --> 00:27:38,472
For sure.

769
00:27:38,787 --> 00:27:41,517
I hadn't even thought about what you
had said earlier, 'cause we've talked

770
00:27:41,517 --> 00:27:44,857
about it being educational, getting
into schools, uh, sex education things,

771
00:27:44,857 --> 00:27:47,977
probably at the collegiate level,
uh, because high schools, things

772
00:27:47,977 --> 00:27:49,057
probably aren't gonna include that.

773
00:27:49,057 --> 00:27:49,787
Therapists.

774
00:27:49,787 --> 00:27:51,487
But you said therapists, and I
hadn't even thought about that.

775
00:27:51,487 --> 00:27:52,337
We interview a lot-

776
00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:52,467
And that

777
00:27:52,467 --> 00:27:53,667
is, that is I think another

778
00:27:53,667 --> 00:27:55,427
genre we need to do that ... you
know, there's a lot of people in the,

779
00:27:55,427 --> 00:28:00,407
in the s- in the community that look
for and seek out, uh, ENM therapists.

780
00:28:00,407 --> 00:28:00,647
Mm-hmm.

781
00:28:00,687 --> 00:28:04,037
Uh, whether it be to discuss
their swinger lifestyles a- and

782
00:28:04,037 --> 00:28:05,457
their couples therapy- That's true

783
00:28:05,457 --> 00:28:08,077
uh, or, you know, their
polyamorous or whatever.

784
00:28:08,077 --> 00:28:11,247
A- and there's kink friendly... I
mean, we've, we've interviewed several.

785
00:28:11,497 --> 00:28:11,737
Mm-hmm.

786
00:28:11,737 --> 00:28:16,587
And the resource that it could
be is, is, it's incredible.

787
00:28:16,587 --> 00:28:19,457
So my favorite part of the
film was the jealousy part.

788
00:28:19,917 --> 00:28:20,257
See that.

789
00:28:20,347 --> 00:28:20,527
Yeah.

790
00:28:20,527 --> 00:28:22,537
Breaking down that jealousy part.

791
00:28:22,537 --> 00:28:24,917
Now take a- I thought
was- Take a guess why.

792
00:28:24,967 --> 00:28:25,027
Yeah.

793
00:28:25,057 --> 00:28:26,527
I, I'm very honest.

794
00:28:26,567 --> 00:28:29,447
I am a very... It's in my Latina roots.

795
00:28:29,487 --> 00:28:31,117
I am very possessive.

796
00:28:31,117 --> 00:28:32,467
I'm very possessive.

797
00:28:32,467 --> 00:28:32,967
Very possessive.

798
00:28:32,967 --> 00:28:33,827
I'm a jealous person.

799
00:28:33,827 --> 00:28:34,307
Like, I am.

800
00:28:34,337 --> 00:28:39,297
I'm just... And I used to, like, hide
it, and it was a very negative thing.

801
00:28:39,297 --> 00:28:42,947
Like, he'd be like, "Why are you so
jealous?" And I couldn't understand it.

802
00:28:43,427 --> 00:28:45,467
But now I'm super open.

803
00:28:45,467 --> 00:28:47,197
Like, I'm, I'm a very jealous person.

804
00:28:47,197 --> 00:28:48,427
I'm very territorial.

805
00:28:48,807 --> 00:28:52,297
Yeah, I'll share him, but I'm gonna
share him to a limit, and that's it.

806
00:28:52,767 --> 00:28:56,237
But the way y'all broke it down, I
was like, "Oh, wow, that was kind of

807
00:28:56,237 --> 00:28:59,187
neat." That was kind of cool to see-

808
00:28:59,487 --> 00:28:59,637
Yeah

809
00:28:59,637 --> 00:29:01,027
...
you know, how you explained it.

810
00:29:01,817 --> 00:29:05,217
As we have two sections in
the film about communication.

811
00:29:05,657 --> 00:29:06,247
Yes.

812
00:29:06,367 --> 00:29:10,467
That's how important communication
is in the context of the lifestyle,

813
00:29:10,467 --> 00:29:13,187
that we literally devote two
different sections of the movie to it.

814
00:29:13,907 --> 00:29:18,227
And jealousy is in that continuum
because you have to talk about it.

815
00:29:18,227 --> 00:29:18,277
Uh-huh.

816
00:29:18,277 --> 00:29:22,327
You, you have to be knowledgeable
of what your triggers are and

817
00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:23,957
the things that can upset you.

818
00:29:24,337 --> 00:29:29,127
And you also, if you are a jealous
person, maybe you need to communicate

819
00:29:29,177 --> 00:29:32,147
why those things are triggering for
you and what they are, because that's

820
00:29:32,147 --> 00:29:36,217
the only way your partner and you
are gonna move through those blocks.

821
00:29:36,217 --> 00:29:36,647
Exactly.

822
00:29:36,747 --> 00:29:37,067
Those things.

823
00:29:37,067 --> 00:29:37,287
Mm-hmm.

824
00:29:37,377 --> 00:29:38,627
The stuff that happens.

825
00:29:39,097 --> 00:29:42,517
So there's nothing, I, I believe
we say in the film, there's nothing

826
00:29:42,517 --> 00:29:43,957
necessarily wrong with jealousy.

827
00:29:43,987 --> 00:29:45,057
The only thing that would be- You do.

828
00:29:45,207 --> 00:29:48,447
Yeah, the only thing that would be
wrong is if you don't talk about it.

829
00:29:48,517 --> 00:29:48,577
Yeah.

830
00:29:48,577 --> 00:29:52,427
And let it fester and let it ruin
what your relationship could be.

831
00:29:52,917 --> 00:29:53,367
Yeah.

832
00:29:53,637 --> 00:29:59,867
Yeah, you know, you guys had a lot of,
um, interesting people on the show as far

833
00:29:59,867 --> 00:30:04,797
as, uh, you know, different, different
fields of study, or the same field

834
00:30:04,797 --> 00:30:06,137
of study, excuse me, but different...

835
00:30:06,597 --> 00:30:07,567
Different thoughts.

836
00:30:07,637 --> 00:30:07,917
Yeah.

837
00:30:07,947 --> 00:30:08,097
They

838
00:30:08,097 --> 00:30:08,297
all

839
00:30:08,297 --> 00:30:10,127
had different- Yeah, so where
did you find these people?

840
00:30:10,127 --> 00:30:10,757
I'm curious.

841
00:30:11,257 --> 00:30:13,487
Well, I, Dylan did the experts.

842
00:30:13,487 --> 00:30:15,757
It's fi- he did a great
job at finding the experts.

843
00:30:15,797 --> 00:30:18,237
I did more of the finding all of the-

844
00:30:18,527 --> 00:30:18,937
Yeah

845
00:30:18,967 --> 00:30:21,387
...
the people, the couples, and,
and other people like that.

846
00:30:21,857 --> 00:30:23,137
Dylan did a phenomenal

847
00:30:23,137 --> 00:30:23,787
job at finding experts.

848
00:30:23,787 --> 00:30:28,317
So yeah, when I was w- when we were kind
of on our separate shoots, I, uh, took

849
00:30:28,317 --> 00:30:30,867
a couple of months and I really did...

850
00:30:30,987 --> 00:30:34,057
Once again, when I'm making a
documentary, I do a lot of research.

851
00:30:34,057 --> 00:30:35,537
It's just- Mm ... the way that I- You go

852
00:30:35,537 --> 00:30:36,357
balls deep, man.

853
00:30:36,357 --> 00:30:36,717
Yeah.

854
00:30:36,787 --> 00:30:39,837
That's the way- Balls deep ... I have
to, like, go into making a movie.

855
00:30:40,197 --> 00:30:44,617
Um, and I was, and I was very lucky that,
uh, Urvashi and Kama already had this

856
00:30:44,807 --> 00:30:48,407
giant network of people that I knew that
we could rely on for, like- Oh, nice

857
00:30:48,407 --> 00:30:50,157
less expert interviews.

858
00:30:50,397 --> 00:30:54,857
So I really wanted to make sure
that we got people who knew what

859
00:30:54,857 --> 00:30:56,197
the fuck they were talking about.

860
00:30:56,257 --> 00:30:56,387
Yeah.

861
00:30:56,387 --> 00:30:56,417
Mm-hmm.

862
00:30:56,417 --> 00:30:56,737
Uh-

863
00:30:56,777 --> 00:30:59,867
Yeah ... and I put together a, a
list, about 20 people, and we were

864
00:30:59,867 --> 00:31:01,357
lucky to get about 10 of them.

865
00:31:01,867 --> 00:31:06,797
Um, so we just got, uh, everybody
who's in the film, you know, if they're

866
00:31:06,797 --> 00:31:09,757
happening to listen to this and you've
never seen it before, these are experts.

867
00:31:09,787 --> 00:31:11,167
These are world-renowned.

868
00:31:11,687 --> 00:31:12,647
Justin Lehmiller's in it.

869
00:31:12,647 --> 00:31:16,817
He's arguably one of the- Yeah Oh, yeah
... best-known sexologists in the world.

870
00:31:16,817 --> 00:31:17,257
We've got- No,

871
00:31:17,257 --> 00:31:17,447
they're, they're on the

872
00:31:17,447 --> 00:31:18,557
Mount Rushmore ... Kitty Chambliss.

873
00:31:18,557 --> 00:31:20,567
Yeah, she- Yeah ... Dr. Liz Powell.

874
00:31:20,567 --> 00:31:25,327
Like, we- I was so lucky that these
people not only took our call, but

875
00:31:25,327 --> 00:31:29,407
were willing to be in the movie and
gave, like, stunning interviews.

876
00:31:29,497 --> 00:31:29,777
Like-

877
00:31:29,777 --> 00:31:30,037
They did

878
00:31:30,427 --> 00:31:33,657
...
like, genuinely, like, not to, not
to toot- Truly stunning ... our horn.

879
00:31:33,687 --> 00:31:33,827
Yeah.

880
00:31:33,827 --> 00:31:35,437
Like, they're the ones talking, right?

881
00:31:35,497 --> 00:31:37,817
All I had to do was be there
to capture the incredible shit

882
00:31:37,907 --> 00:31:38,817
that they're putting on camera.

883
00:31:38,817 --> 00:31:39,157
So-

884
00:31:39,637 --> 00:31:39,787
Yeah

885
00:31:39,817 --> 00:31:40,567
...
very lucky.

886
00:31:41,067 --> 00:31:42,307
Ask the right questions too

887
00:31:42,307 --> 00:31:42,737
Yeah

888
00:31:42,887 --> 00:31:44,367
Ask all the right questions.

889
00:31:44,367 --> 00:31:45,567
Yeah, don't underplay your skills,

890
00:31:45,567 --> 00:31:46,097
my friend.

891
00:31:46,227 --> 00:31:51,387
Having those experts, you know, gives the
film a legitimacy- Yes ... that a lot of

892
00:31:51,387 --> 00:31:52,937
things about the lifestyle don't have.

893
00:31:53,717 --> 00:31:56,917
And the stories from people
themselves, couples, are very much-

894
00:31:56,917 --> 00:31:58,167
Yeah ... a part of the soup, okay?

895
00:31:58,167 --> 00:32:00,277
I mean, it's very important
to have that as well.

896
00:32:00,807 --> 00:32:05,447
But unless you've got some people
that really have studied this, that

897
00:32:05,447 --> 00:32:08,707
can lend that professional opinion
on it, and I think the film does

898
00:32:08,707 --> 00:32:10,617
a good m- mix of that, you know?

899
00:32:10,967 --> 00:32:14,357
It's not, it's not so academic
that you're snoring through it and

900
00:32:14,357 --> 00:32:18,067
thinking, "Oh my gosh, when, when do
I get to see something fun?" Yeah.

901
00:32:18,067 --> 00:32:22,557
It's fun throughout, and the experts
that happen to say yes, you know, were

902
00:32:22,687 --> 00:32:24,657
very lively personalities as well.

903
00:32:24,657 --> 00:32:29,437
So everybody in the film, in our
opinion, you know, deserves the spotlight

904
00:32:29,437 --> 00:32:31,727
as being a great part of that film.

905
00:32:32,087 --> 00:32:32,367
Yes.

906
00:32:32,467 --> 00:32:35,697
Well, you know, Kama, I can tell
you, I, I watch a lot of porn, okay?

907
00:32:36,167 --> 00:32:37,907
And with that- We've, we've established

908
00:32:37,907 --> 00:32:37,997
this

909
00:32:37,997 --> 00:32:38,867
established this.

910
00:32:38,867 --> 00:32:40,807
We've established that.

911
00:32:40,807 --> 00:32:42,667
You know, for dramatic
effect, you gotta know.

912
00:32:42,667 --> 00:32:43,137
She's got that sex now.

913
00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:44,657
So I, I watch a lot of porn.

914
00:32:44,657 --> 00:32:45,057
World of dreams.

915
00:32:45,087 --> 00:32:49,627
And with that, there's the
sex, the sex therapist.

916
00:32:49,627 --> 00:32:52,627
You know, if you look up sex therapist,
there's a lot of porn around that.

917
00:32:52,627 --> 00:32:52,747
Oh, yeah.

918
00:32:53,297 --> 00:32:55,247
And it's not a lot of good advice.

919
00:32:55,247 --> 00:32:58,307
It's more like, "Hmm, you should
suck your man's dick," you know?

920
00:32:58,597 --> 00:33:01,097
It's, it's basically made-
Yeah ... to look like it's,

921
00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:03,237
it's educational, but it's not.

922
00:33:03,467 --> 00:33:03,797
Yeah.

923
00:33:03,797 --> 00:33:04,667
It's, it's horribly not.

924
00:33:04,667 --> 00:33:06,147
No, y'all, y'all did- So that's
cool ... y'all really did.

925
00:33:06,147 --> 00:33:09,807
And you said you think... So we
have two high schoolers, and we

926
00:33:09,807 --> 00:33:15,277
two, and we have two college kids,
and I'm totally gonna let them...

927
00:33:15,277 --> 00:33:17,417
Like, they already know
our lifestyle, obviously.

928
00:33:17,417 --> 00:33:18,247
Like, we can't-

929
00:33:18,527 --> 00:33:18,667
Oh ... I'm

930
00:33:18,897 --> 00:33:19,467
totally gonna let them watch.

931
00:33:19,467 --> 00:33:19,627
You can

932
00:33:19,627 --> 00:33:21,947
totally show it to a high s- you could
show it to- Yeah ... your grandma.

933
00:33:21,947 --> 00:33:23,137
You can show it to- No, I

934
00:33:23,137 --> 00:33:23,907
would totally

935
00:33:23,907 --> 00:33:24,407
show

936
00:33:24,907 --> 00:33:25,527
it ... children.

937
00:33:25,607 --> 00:33:25,737
Maybe

938
00:33:25,817 --> 00:33:26,457
not do that.

939
00:33:26,457 --> 00:33:26,607
Yeah.

940
00:33:26,817 --> 00:33:30,507
Yeah, that was, that was kind of adorable,
'cause in all of our Spark Erotic stuff,

941
00:33:30,537 --> 00:33:34,217
my parents kept saying, "Oh, it'd be
so nice if you guys made a real film."

942
00:33:34,267 --> 00:33:37,167
And now it's like, "Hey, we made
a real film you guys can watch."

943
00:33:37,167 --> 00:33:39,587
And they're like, "Oh, we, we don't
really wanna watch that." It's

944
00:33:39,587 --> 00:33:40,907
not, 'cause it's so about this.

945
00:33:40,907 --> 00:33:41,527
It's, it's so educational.

946
00:33:41,627 --> 00:33:44,287
But I would absolutely- Yeah ... show
this to high school students.

947
00:33:44,317 --> 00:33:45,997
I just don't think high schools
are gonna ask to show this.

948
00:33:45,997 --> 00:33:47,827
Yeah, no, it's, and, and- That's
why I'm saying a collegiate

949
00:33:47,827 --> 00:33:49,257
level of, of sex education.

950
00:33:50,197 --> 00:33:53,227
But yes, I believe- Yeah Yes ... high
school students should be watching this,

951
00:33:53,297 --> 00:33:54,707
because they're, this is a real thing

952
00:33:54,707 --> 00:33:54,987
for that too.

953
00:33:54,987 --> 00:33:55,147
It is.

954
00:33:55,147 --> 00:33:55,557
It really is.

955
00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:58,697
I always tell my kids, I'm like,
"You know, you can have more than one

956
00:33:58,747 --> 00:34:00,267
boyfriend, more than one girlfriend."

957
00:34:00,267 --> 00:34:03,247
And they'll just roll their eyes at me,
and I'm like, "I'm just saying." Ooh.

958
00:34:03,287 --> 00:34:06,897
I mean, I always had...
I, I, I was- Just saying.

959
00:34:07,047 --> 00:34:09,387
I was, I was a cheater when I was younger.

960
00:34:09,387 --> 00:34:12,647
So I would have, like, multiple boyfriends
in different schools, and then meet up

961
00:34:12,677 --> 00:34:14,327
at the mall, and then I'd be like, "Dang.

962
00:34:14,727 --> 00:34:15,777
Dang, I got

963
00:34:15,777 --> 00:34:16,657
caught." Dude, and I was the opposite.

964
00:34:16,657 --> 00:34:16,697
He

965
00:34:16,697 --> 00:34:17,307
was the opposite.

966
00:34:17,307 --> 00:34:19,147
I was unsuccessful with the ladies-

967
00:34:19,147 --> 00:34:19,597
Yeah.

968
00:34:19,597 --> 00:34:23,177
...
in high school and in college,
and you know, so much so that

969
00:34:23,177 --> 00:34:24,677
I just gave up on it all.

970
00:34:24,867 --> 00:34:24,997
Yeah.

971
00:34:25,067 --> 00:34:29,247
Uh, and, and you know, I... Eventually,
when I got with this one here, and

972
00:34:29,247 --> 00:34:33,267
we got married, I've had the most
sex in my life with other people.

973
00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:36,063
Like I've, I've never
been so, uh- Hey, you're

974
00:34:36,063 --> 00:34:36,373
welcome.

975
00:34:36,373 --> 00:34:36,433
Yeah.

976
00:34:36,433 --> 00:34:36,523
I'm

977
00:34:36,523 --> 00:34:37,113
a ... Guys, I'm calm.

978
00:34:37,113 --> 00:34:38,783
Brother, brother.

979
00:34:38,783 --> 00:34:39,073
I'm

980
00:34:39,133 --> 00:34:40,063
a freaking ho.

981
00:34:40,103 --> 00:34:41,713
I, I'm, I'm telling you now.

982
00:34:41,713 --> 00:34:42,533
He wishes.

983
00:34:42,533 --> 00:34:42,843
Well,

984
00:34:43,073 --> 00:34:43,293
that's the

985
00:34:43,293 --> 00:34:43,473
message.

986
00:34:43,473 --> 00:34:45,983
We didn't say I was jealous
and territorial, right?

987
00:34:45,983 --> 00:34:47,473
I've been it for a long time.

988
00:34:47,473 --> 00:34:49,223
I've been it for a long time.

989
00:34:49,223 --> 00:34:50,463
There's a reason for it, you know?

990
00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:52,413
The message for everyone-
Oh ... high school and beyond is like

991
00:34:52,413 --> 00:34:53,143
cheating is a shitty thing to do.

992
00:34:53,283 --> 00:34:54,073
We address that in the movie.

993
00:34:54,073 --> 00:34:54,193
Yes.

994
00:34:54,193 --> 00:34:54,253
Yeah.

995
00:34:54,253 --> 00:34:56,943
Like lying to someone
is- Yeah ... never okay.

996
00:34:57,263 --> 00:34:59,713
That is not a thing that
you should do, ever.

997
00:34:59,743 --> 00:34:59,883
Uh-huh.

998
00:35:00,193 --> 00:35:01,063
And guess what?

999
00:35:01,203 --> 00:35:05,013
This whole lifestyle has a full
framework for you not to lie to people.

1000
00:35:05,233 --> 00:35:05,293
Right.

1001
00:35:05,323 --> 00:35:10,153
You can be 100% truthful with them and
let them know, "This is what I'm doing.

1002
00:35:10,433 --> 00:35:13,443
Here is where I'm coming
from." And isn't that better?

1003
00:35:13,903 --> 00:35:16,893
Like, isn't... Like I know that
people have been so brainwashed

1004
00:35:16,893 --> 00:35:18,063
into the idea that- Ugh.

1005
00:35:18,123 --> 00:35:18,773
Yeah

1006
00:35:18,833 --> 00:35:21,863
...
that maybe cheating is the better
thing to do, but it's like how?

1007
00:35:22,223 --> 00:35:25,033
How is that the better way
to go and live your life?

1008
00:35:25,063 --> 00:35:25,263
Oh, God.

1009
00:35:25,603 --> 00:35:28,853
Go... Not only are you lying to
yourself, you are lying to your partner.

1010
00:35:29,093 --> 00:35:32,783
And ultimately- Yeah ... we know time and
time again, nine times out of 10 it r-

1011
00:35:32,963 --> 00:35:34,743
results in that relationship imploding.

1012
00:35:35,323 --> 00:35:35,563
Yes.

1013
00:35:35,593 --> 00:35:38,953
So why don't you try a
different way of doing it?

1014
00:35:38,953 --> 00:35:38,983
Uh-huh.

1015
00:35:39,333 --> 00:35:40,983
And if it doesn't work,
go back to the old way.

1016
00:35:40,983 --> 00:35:41,073
Yeah.

1017
00:35:41,073 --> 00:35:41,673
That's fine.

1018
00:35:42,063 --> 00:35:44,363
But at least try honesty.

1019
00:35:44,393 --> 00:35:44,453
Yeah.

1020
00:35:44,803 --> 00:35:45,633
Like just try it.

1021
00:35:45,883 --> 00:35:51,388
No, I absolutely believe that
because to me, to, to share and

1022
00:35:51,388 --> 00:35:55,158
have multiple partners and to do
it honestly and openly, there...

1023
00:35:55,658 --> 00:36:00,127
The damage caused by the cheating
is immense, just immense.

1024
00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:03,717
And I do see that, that monogamous
couples in the heterosexual- Mm-hmm

1025
00:36:03,807 --> 00:36:08,518
... normal, what the normal narrative
about it is, it happens all the time.

1026
00:36:08,937 --> 00:36:10,307
It happens all the time.

1027
00:36:10,307 --> 00:36:14,027
They're doing the exact same thing
when you're choosing monogamy except

1028
00:36:14,027 --> 00:36:16,277
you're doing it behind someone's
back and the damage is massive.

1029
00:36:16,307 --> 00:36:18,198
It, it, it rips people apart.

1030
00:36:18,257 --> 00:36:18,507
Oh, yeah.

1031
00:36:18,507 --> 00:36:18,827
Families.

1032
00:36:18,827 --> 00:36:20,948
The pain of that- Yeah ... it'll
take you to the floorboards.

1033
00:36:21,707 --> 00:36:22,527
It, it, everything.

1034
00:36:22,687 --> 00:36:24,377
So and, and it, it's really bad.

1035
00:36:24,567 --> 00:36:26,048
It rip whole communities apart.

1036
00:36:26,457 --> 00:36:26,487
Uh-huh.

1037
00:36:26,487 --> 00:36:31,137
So I, I do believe that the, that this
honesty of communicating, even if you

1038
00:36:31,137 --> 00:36:33,927
guys never do any, if something never
even does more than that is just to

1039
00:36:33,927 --> 00:36:37,088
communicate the desire, their need
and that starts something between a

1040
00:36:37,088 --> 00:36:39,847
couple where they actually need to
deal honestly with each other and do

1041
00:36:39,847 --> 00:36:41,498
that self discovery about what it is.

1042
00:36:41,827 --> 00:36:44,457
Like for you, Pris, when you're
talking about your insecurities about-

1043
00:36:44,457 --> 00:36:47,278
Uh-huh ... jealousy or where you're
jealous, it's, it's that d- deep dive

1044
00:36:47,278 --> 00:36:50,778
of looking at yourself saying, "What is
it that I'm really needing?" Oh, yeah.

1045
00:36:50,778 --> 00:36:51,657
"What's really happening to me?

1046
00:36:51,687 --> 00:36:53,077
Not what's going on out over there.

1047
00:36:53,317 --> 00:36:55,948
What's happening to me and
how can I get my needs met?

1048
00:36:55,948 --> 00:36:57,858
How can I work-" Yeah.

1049
00:36:57,907 --> 00:36:59,617
I, I- ... do that self
discovery of it's about me.

1050
00:36:59,647 --> 00:37:00,377
Let me get my-

1051
00:37:00,677 --> 00:37:02,027
I actually do that now.

1052
00:37:02,027 --> 00:37:03,567
Now, now I do that.

1053
00:37:03,567 --> 00:37:06,067
Like, t- about two years ago, or whenever
we started the show, we were getting

1054
00:37:06,067 --> 00:37:09,457
lots of people on, and they would
give me little tidbits of, of advice.

1055
00:37:09,497 --> 00:37:10,537
And I was like- Yeah, free therapy

1056
00:37:10,607 --> 00:37:11,457
oh, okay.

1057
00:37:11,457 --> 00:37:12,447
Yeah, it was free therapy.

1058
00:37:12,677 --> 00:37:18,037
It was so nice because now I know- Yeah
... how to stop and be like, "So that kinda

1059
00:37:18,037 --> 00:37:21,497
triggered me, and let me explain to you
why." This man, I always tell everybody,

1060
00:37:21,577 --> 00:37:23,007
this man has put so much work in.

1061
00:37:23,187 --> 00:37:26,817
Like, I was like, all right, he can ex-
he can kinda calm me down- Sure, man.

1062
00:37:26,817 --> 00:37:26,987
Give me-

1063
00:37:26,987 --> 00:37:29,017
and be like, "Okay, there's
no reason for this."

1064
00:37:29,087 --> 00:37:30,287
Give me a, give me a, give me a carrot.

1065
00:37:30,337 --> 00:37:31,197
You know, I'm your horse.

1066
00:37:31,977 --> 00:37:36,157
But for, you know, for me- Um ... what I
got out of it, because, well, obviously

1067
00:37:36,157 --> 00:37:40,327
I get sex with other women, which is hot
and fun, but what I really get out of it,

1068
00:37:40,827 --> 00:37:46,707
uh, being non-monogamous with, with my
wife here, is that I know she chooses me.

1069
00:37:46,887 --> 00:37:50,847
Like, y- you know- Yeah ... obviously in
a monogamous relationship, yeah, she chose

1070
00:37:50,847 --> 00:37:52,287
me, we got married, blah, blah, blah.

1071
00:37:52,817 --> 00:37:59,747
But for my wife to be able to experience
other people and still want to come home

1072
00:37:59,747 --> 00:38:03,047
to me, she chooses me every single time.

1073
00:38:03,353 --> 00:38:03,573
She seems... Yeah.

1074
00:38:03,573 --> 00:38:08,773
And to me, there is no greater love
than, you know, a, a, you know, I can,

1075
00:38:08,803 --> 00:38:14,293
I can walk into a, a, a grocery store,
and if I keep going to the cheese aisle-

1076
00:38:14,743 --> 00:38:15,923
I, I'm choosing the cheese.

1077
00:38:15,923 --> 00:38:17,753
I love that cheese, man.

1078
00:38:18,103 --> 00:38:19,943
And I'm her cheese, guys.

1079
00:38:19,992 --> 00:38:24,672
Okay, real quick before we get back
into it, we gotta talk about sdc.com.

1080
00:38:25,052 --> 00:38:25,512
Oh, yes.

1081
00:38:25,682 --> 00:38:28,902
Okay, so if you don't know SDC,
it's basically the largest online

1082
00:38:28,902 --> 00:38:30,682
community for open-minded adults.

1083
00:38:30,752 --> 00:38:35,582
Which if you're listening to this show
right now, I feel like you probably

1084
00:38:35,582 --> 00:38:37,222
already know if that's your scene.

1085
00:38:37,652 --> 00:38:37,892
Yeah.

1086
00:38:37,952 --> 00:38:39,852
It's your people all in one place.

1087
00:38:40,192 --> 00:38:42,362
Just make a profile and go explore.

1088
00:38:42,662 --> 00:38:46,572
No weirdness, no judgment, just
a ton of like-minded humans

1089
00:38:46,602 --> 00:38:48,382
living their lives, just like us.

1090
00:38:48,582 --> 00:38:50,322
Honestly, it's kinda
fun just to poke around.

1091
00:38:50,472 --> 00:38:51,342
Yeah, it really is.

1092
00:38:51,642 --> 00:38:53,722
Go sign up at sdc.com.

1093
00:38:54,062 --> 00:38:56,562
Use code 38236.

1094
00:38:56,662 --> 00:38:58,162
Link's in the show notes.

1095
00:38:58,202 --> 00:38:59,842
Okay, now back to what we were saying.

1096
00:39:00,092 --> 00:39:00,492
Yes

1097
00:39:00,738 --> 00:39:01,088
Yes.

1098
00:39:01,218 --> 00:39:02,308
I'm her cheese.

1099
00:39:02,378 --> 00:39:03,598
Well- And I think that's a beautiful thing

1100
00:39:03,648 --> 00:39:04,248
...
it is a beautiful thing.

1101
00:39:04,248 --> 00:39:06,938
It sounds like you guys- Oh ... have
found a nice level of compersion, because

1102
00:39:06,938 --> 00:39:10,158
she gets to have what both of you want,
and you guys get to have a nice level

1103
00:39:10,188 --> 00:39:10,428
of-

1104
00:39:10,428 --> 00:39:10,828
So I...

1105
00:39:11,198 --> 00:39:11,848
Well, Dylan.

1106
00:39:12,118 --> 00:39:12,428
Dylan.

1107
00:39:12,428 --> 00:39:12,908
Hold on, Dylan.

1108
00:39:12,908 --> 00:39:13,788
Hold, hold on, Dylan.

1109
00:39:14,288 --> 00:39:16,078
' Cause, uh, we've done
shows about this now.

1110
00:39:16,078 --> 00:39:16,408
Dylan,

1111
00:39:16,448 --> 00:39:18,078
I have no compersion.

1112
00:39:18,078 --> 00:39:19,408
I am full of compersion.

1113
00:39:19,908 --> 00:39:20,248
Ah.

1114
00:39:20,278 --> 00:39:20,308
Ah.

1115
00:39:20,408 --> 00:39:21,188
I am, uh- Oh.

1116
00:39:21,188 --> 00:39:23,388
My cup overfloweth, and-

1117
00:39:23,388 --> 00:39:23,778
Sorry

1118
00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:25,058
...
uh, her cup runs dry.

1119
00:39:25,058 --> 00:39:26,128
I, and I'm upfront with that.

1120
00:39:26,178 --> 00:39:27,398
I don't have compersion.

1121
00:39:27,458 --> 00:39:33,758
I, um, I don't like, I don't like to see
him enjoying himself with other women.

1122
00:39:33,758 --> 00:39:33,918
Ah, she

1123
00:39:33,918 --> 00:39:35,078
doesn't want me to have a good time.

1124
00:39:35,078 --> 00:39:35,828
It's, it's- Are you kidding me?

1125
00:39:35,858 --> 00:39:36,488
It's very hard for me.

1126
00:39:36,488 --> 00:39:37,268
I'm a married man.

1127
00:39:37,268 --> 00:39:38,498
You know, it's very hard for me.

1128
00:39:38,498 --> 00:39:42,448
Um, I'm learning to at
least- You know, be okay.

1129
00:39:42,488 --> 00:39:44,408
I mean, I'm okay with it obviously, right?

1130
00:39:44,408 --> 00:39:44,558
She's come a

1131
00:39:44,558 --> 00:39:44,738
long way.

1132
00:39:44,848 --> 00:39:49,958
But I don't have to, um, I don't,
like, I don't wanna know- You

1133
00:39:49,958 --> 00:39:50,678
don't need to see it.

1134
00:39:51,028 --> 00:39:52,818
I don't need to see every time.

1135
00:39:52,818 --> 00:39:52,908
Yeah.

1136
00:39:52,938 --> 00:39:55,618
Um, because then I get very controlling-
She doesn't always want me to talk about

1137
00:39:55,618 --> 00:39:58,528
it ... and I'm like, "Why did you do that?
And why did you do that?" I don't wanna

1138
00:39:58,528 --> 00:40:00,348
do that, um, 'cause I know that I will.

1139
00:40:00,738 --> 00:40:02,438
So I, I, I'm the non-compersion.

1140
00:40:02,718 --> 00:40:03,168
Well, that's great.

1141
00:40:03,878 --> 00:40:06,048
And I'm like, "Dude, tell,
tell me all about it.

1142
00:40:06,048 --> 00:40:07,268
Tell me about your experience.

1143
00:40:07,298 --> 00:40:09,438
Oh, dude." Yeah. "Your win's my win.

1144
00:40:09,438 --> 00:40:10,378
My win's your win."

1145
00:40:10,378 --> 00:40:11,288
I'm learning that.

1146
00:40:11,288 --> 00:40:11,618
Oh, forget it.

1147
00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:12,118
But it's hard.

1148
00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:12,268
All right.

1149
00:40:12,268 --> 00:40:12,928
It is hard, but-

1150
00:40:12,928 --> 00:40:15,568
Um ... yes But you know, the
podcast has helped a lot.

1151
00:40:15,878 --> 00:40:16,358
Thank goodness.

1152
00:40:16,358 --> 00:40:19,778
Y'all's, y- your movie's, y- your
movie's gonna help a lot with that

1153
00:40:19,908 --> 00:40:20,338
podcast.

1154
00:40:20,368 --> 00:40:20,438
Yeah.

1155
00:40:20,438 --> 00:40:22,928
Well, well luckily we do, we do have a
section of the movie about compersion.

1156
00:40:22,928 --> 00:40:25,518
And luckily we- You do, and- ... we
do have people who say, like, you're

1157
00:40:25,518 --> 00:40:27,038
not necessarily gonna feel it, right?

1158
00:40:27,038 --> 00:40:27,098
Yeah.

1159
00:40:27,198 --> 00:40:29,208
Like, there are people who are
gonna be impossible to feel it.

1160
00:40:29,498 --> 00:40:29,798
But-

1161
00:40:29,798 --> 00:40:30,148
Yes

1162
00:40:30,178 --> 00:40:32,548
...
if you do have somebody who feels
it, isn't that a nice feeling?

1163
00:40:32,708 --> 00:40:33,158
Isn't it nice?

1164
00:40:33,158 --> 00:40:33,298
It

1165
00:40:33,298 --> 00:40:33,728
is.

1166
00:40:33,728 --> 00:40:34,358
It is.

1167
00:40:34,358 --> 00:40:37,038
And you know, I'd like to put
each, each of you- And I guess-

1168
00:40:37,038 --> 00:40:40,928
on the spot for a second w- while
we're on compersion, and, Ur-

1169
00:40:40,928 --> 00:40:41,858
Urvashi, I'll start with you.

1170
00:40:42,498 --> 00:40:47,258
I'm kinda curious, what's the, the,
the one moment of compersion that

1171
00:40:47,328 --> 00:40:49,288
you've, that you know that you've held?

1172
00:40:49,288 --> 00:40:51,168
Like, it, is it often?

1173
00:40:51,668 --> 00:40:52,328
One moment.

1174
00:40:53,008 --> 00:40:57,558
God, uh, I, I would say that
I, I would, I'm more like Pris.

1175
00:40:57,588 --> 00:40:59,268
I, I like to do compersion
from a distance.

1176
00:40:59,438 --> 00:41:00,538
Compersion from a distance.

1177
00:41:00,588 --> 00:41:04,808
Um, in the sense that I don't, I
don't necessarily want to be in the

1178
00:41:04,808 --> 00:41:06,868
same room with Kama and watch that.

1179
00:41:06,898 --> 00:41:08,718
It's not because I get jealous, actually.

1180
00:41:08,718 --> 00:41:10,918
It's because I am not bisexual at all.

1181
00:41:11,378 --> 00:41:12,768
Um, so I get bored very quick.

1182
00:41:12,798 --> 00:41:13,728
Understood, yeah.

1183
00:41:14,258 --> 00:41:15,518
'Cause I'm like, "Well,
yeah." Hand on crotch.

1184
00:41:16,018 --> 00:41:16,688
And I got on a...

1185
00:41:16,978 --> 00:41:23,598
I mean, when Kama was with other women,
um, I wanted him to be able to focus and

1186
00:41:23,598 --> 00:41:24,858
be that, not have to worry about this.

1187
00:41:24,858 --> 00:41:27,338
I didn't want her to have to turn
and look at me, ah, you know, and I'm

1188
00:41:27,338 --> 00:41:29,678
sitting there kind of going, "Oh, I'm
knitting over here in the corner." Yeah.

1189
00:41:30,178 --> 00:41:34,832
So, um, for me I just, for
me, I'm happy if he is happy.

1190
00:41:34,832 --> 00:41:41,542
If he is, if we are communicating well
and there's not, uh, any, uh, lies or,

1191
00:41:41,592 --> 00:41:47,522
or cloudiness between us, and there's
good communication, he has opportunities

1192
00:41:47,802 --> 00:41:51,282
and someone makes him feel special,
that makes me feel good for him period.

1193
00:41:51,352 --> 00:41:55,832
I don't- I, I, I would, I, I, I
don't say I have the same issues as

1194
00:41:55,832 --> 00:41:57,472
you, Pris, with the, with the, uh-

1195
00:41:57,512 --> 00:41:58,212
With the craziness?

1196
00:41:58,212 --> 00:41:59,842
jealousy, but I absolutely- No.

1197
00:41:59,842 --> 00:42:00,082
Well, I- Yeah.

1198
00:42:00,182 --> 00:42:02,622
Let's not call it craziness, okay?

1199
00:42:02,622 --> 00:42:03,552
No, no, it's not crazy.

1200
00:42:03,552 --> 00:42:05,432
I call it, uh- Yeah, no ... it's
a really valid feeling when

1201
00:42:05,432 --> 00:42:05,682
they come up ... stabby.

1202
00:42:05,682 --> 00:42:05,832
I, I

1203
00:42:05,832 --> 00:42:07,122
say it's stabby ... they are.

1204
00:42:07,122 --> 00:42:08,672
That's the- Um ... the term for it.

1205
00:42:09,042 --> 00:42:10,142
They're, they're, they're-
Yeah ... rough feelings.

1206
00:42:10,142 --> 00:42:10,282
It is.

1207
00:42:10,282 --> 00:42:15,202
That's rough stuff, but I think I
felt when we were participating in

1208
00:42:15,202 --> 00:42:19,562
this part of our lives, I felt very
secure in where the two of us were.

1209
00:42:20,202 --> 00:42:23,302
I... So as long as there was that,
there, there's no problem for me.

1210
00:42:23,302 --> 00:42:26,312
As long as we're being honest with
each other, I could have all the

1211
00:42:26,312 --> 00:42:27,562
compersion in the world for him.

1212
00:42:28,242 --> 00:42:30,322
Um, but I would say I,
I needed a distance.

1213
00:42:30,322 --> 00:42:30,902
I needed distance.

1214
00:42:30,902 --> 00:42:30,962
Yeah.

1215
00:42:30,962 --> 00:42:31,362
Yeah, I like how you put that.

1216
00:42:31,362 --> 00:42:32,862
I don't necessarily want to watch it.

1217
00:42:33,262 --> 00:42:36,622
It doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't really
bother me, but I also got like a little

1218
00:42:36,622 --> 00:42:37,522
kid going, "I don't know where to look."

1219
00:42:37,522 --> 00:42:37,582
Yeah.

1220
00:42:37,582 --> 00:42:38,182
I don't know what to do with my

1221
00:42:38,182 --> 00:42:38,592
hands.

1222
00:42:38,592 --> 00:42:40,482
I'm not a voyeur either.

1223
00:42:40,972 --> 00:42:42,252
Well, 'cause I'm not a voyeur either.

1224
00:42:42,252 --> 00:42:42,382
Oh, okay.

1225
00:42:42,382 --> 00:42:44,752
So me sitting there watching is kind
like, "Oh, gee, what do I do?" Yeah.

1226
00:42:45,512 --> 00:42:49,542
So, uh, we would go to sex parties, and it
would be really funny because Kava would

1227
00:42:49,542 --> 00:42:50,942
go out, and he'd be having a great time.

1228
00:42:50,942 --> 00:42:53,452
And I'd have a great time, like, we'd all
dress in lingerie, do these fun things.

1229
00:42:53,452 --> 00:42:56,402
But the second the lingerie came off and
people were starting to have sex, I'd be

1230
00:42:56,402 --> 00:43:00,412
like, "Hi, don't..." You know, and I'd go
upstairs, and I'd clean people's kitchens.

1231
00:43:00,632 --> 00:43:01,772
I would clean their kitchens.

1232
00:43:01,772 --> 00:43:02,262
I would do things.

1233
00:43:02,262 --> 00:43:04,222
And they'd come up, like, "My
God, the house is so clean."

1234
00:43:04,222 --> 00:43:05,602
I'm like, "Well, I was
spending a good time."

1235
00:43:06,142 --> 00:43:07,892
You know, I'm... where, where- So

1236
00:43:07,892 --> 00:43:08,442
you have to find

1237
00:43:08,442 --> 00:43:11,632
where you're at ... yeah, that's very
true 'cause where I'm at, it's more, um,

1238
00:43:12,132 --> 00:43:16,122
I don't mind watching, but we, he and I
don't have the same likes and- We're not

1239
00:43:16,122 --> 00:43:16,212
on

1240
00:43:16,212 --> 00:43:16,452
the same

1241
00:43:16,452 --> 00:43:17,222
page ... I love women.

1242
00:43:17,222 --> 00:43:19,212
Like, my, my preference is women.

1243
00:43:19,212 --> 00:43:19,532
See, yeah.

1244
00:43:19,592 --> 00:43:22,032
And I, we don't like the
same women, so, uh- Yeah.

1245
00:43:22,032 --> 00:43:22,232
Oh, yeah, we

1246
00:43:22,232 --> 00:43:22,752
don't have the same

1247
00:43:22,752 --> 00:43:22,962
taste.

1248
00:43:22,962 --> 00:43:23,962
Yeah, we don't have the same taste.

1249
00:43:23,962 --> 00:43:25,872
And so, like, I'm like,
"Okay." That's fascinating.

1250
00:43:25,872 --> 00:43:29,642
And so when it's like that, I'm like,
"Oh, go ahead. You do your thing." Yeah.

1251
00:43:29,782 --> 00:43:29,842
So

1252
00:43:29,952 --> 00:43:30,092
that's

1253
00:43:30,172 --> 00:43:31,412
a little compersion.

1254
00:43:31,842 --> 00:43:32,442
I guess so.

1255
00:43:32,442 --> 00:43:32,982
Yeah, a little bit.

1256
00:43:33,112 --> 00:43:34,622
That is compersion.

1257
00:43:34,622 --> 00:43:34,862
That is.

1258
00:43:34,862 --> 00:43:36,072
I get, I get, I get a little bit.

1259
00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:36,452
That is.

1260
00:43:36,702 --> 00:43:38,252
Yeah, I said give yourself-
Yes ... the victories where you

1261
00:43:38,252 --> 00:43:39,392
have them, and, and, and do.

1262
00:43:39,452 --> 00:43:42,602
You know, when, when you can do that,
go, "Hey, I did that." That's true.

1263
00:43:42,602 --> 00:43:44,152
"That was good. That makes,
that makes me feel good." Yeah.

1264
00:43:44,192 --> 00:43:45,142
"Look what I just did." A little star.

1265
00:43:45,142 --> 00:43:47,402
"That feels good. I know
I can do it." A little

1266
00:43:47,402 --> 00:43:47,492
star.

1267
00:43:47,992 --> 00:43:48,342
It is.

1268
00:43:48,342 --> 00:43:51,462
And you can say, "Oh, wow, I did
that. I know I can do that. I know

1269
00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:53,902
that is t- Yeah ... that, that can
be true for me too." Hell yeah.

1270
00:43:53,902 --> 00:43:54,182
You take

1271
00:43:54,182 --> 00:43:54,822
little victories.

1272
00:43:54,822 --> 00:43:55,172
Now, how about you, Kama?

1273
00:43:55,172 --> 00:43:57,692
I'm, I'm kinda curious, where
are you on the, the compersion

1274
00:43:57,692 --> 00:43:58,762
there for- On the compersion

1275
00:43:58,862 --> 00:43:59,542
for your lady?

1276
00:44:00,042 --> 00:44:02,312
We are pretty much exactly opposite.

1277
00:44:02,822 --> 00:44:02,972
Yeah?

1278
00:44:02,972 --> 00:44:03,312
Um,

1279
00:44:03,342 --> 00:44:03,402
she

1280
00:44:03,562 --> 00:44:04,492
want- I love it.

1281
00:44:04,972 --> 00:44:07,072
She wants compersion at a distance.

1282
00:44:07,292 --> 00:44:11,032
I find it very difficult to have
compersion if I'm not involved.

1283
00:44:11,212 --> 00:44:12,502
And at least- Really?

1284
00:44:12,852 --> 00:44:13,172
Yeah.

1285
00:44:13,262 --> 00:44:14,142
Oh, yeah.

1286
00:44:14,142 --> 00:44:19,282
So to me, the separateness,
um, makes it very difficult.

1287
00:44:19,712 --> 00:44:23,262
So some people are like, "Hey," you know,
like you said, "Go have a good time.

1288
00:44:23,262 --> 00:44:25,662
I don't wanna be there."
I'm exactly the opposite.

1289
00:44:26,162 --> 00:44:26,592
No kidding.

1290
00:44:26,772 --> 00:44:29,532
You know, I, I love sending her
off to go- Yeah ... do her thing.

1291
00:44:29,612 --> 00:44:29,672
Yeah.

1292
00:44:29,702 --> 00:44:30,422
She doesn't do it.

1293
00:44:30,422 --> 00:44:30,502
I

1294
00:44:30,502 --> 00:44:30,742
don't

1295
00:44:30,742 --> 00:44:30,842
do it.

1296
00:44:30,842 --> 00:44:32,712
But I love the idea of it.

1297
00:44:32,922 --> 00:44:33,632
She doesn't do it.

1298
00:44:33,632 --> 00:44:34,872
We talk about it a lot.

1299
00:44:34,872 --> 00:44:35,312
I

1300
00:44:35,312 --> 00:44:35,572
don't.

1301
00:44:35,572 --> 00:44:36,712
We talk about it a lot.

1302
00:44:36,712 --> 00:44:36,882
Yeah.

1303
00:44:36,882 --> 00:44:39,812
And in the stories in my head-
Yeah ... it's incredible.

1304
00:44:39,992 --> 00:44:40,172
Yeah.

1305
00:44:40,172 --> 00:44:40,722
Incredible.

1306
00:44:40,772 --> 00:44:44,272
I, I do, I do, I, I do agree
with you on that, Kama.

1307
00:44:44,322 --> 00:44:48,352
I do... When it's a good... When
it's a person that I'm interested

1308
00:44:48,352 --> 00:44:51,902
in and he's interested in, I do like
to have... I like to be involved.

1309
00:44:52,342 --> 00:44:56,652
But if, if I'm not involved and I do
want, and I like that person, and for

1310
00:44:56,652 --> 00:45:00,562
some reason they're just not, maybe
they're not bi or whatever, I do...

1311
00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:02,902
I don't feel any compersion.

1312
00:45:03,262 --> 00:45:04,732
I try, but no.

1313
00:45:04,732 --> 00:45:05,062
Hmm.

1314
00:45:05,512 --> 00:45:08,082
But when he's with somebody- ... that
I'm not attracted to, I'm like,

1315
00:45:08,162 --> 00:45:09,852
"Go ahead. I have all the worlds."

1316
00:45:09,852 --> 00:45:12,662
Well, a- and you know the other thing,
so here's where compersion takes a

1317
00:45:12,662 --> 00:45:14,602
funny turn in, in our relationship.

1318
00:45:14,982 --> 00:45:20,632
Is that if- If she's interested in
somebody and she finds them attractive

1319
00:45:20,732 --> 00:45:25,732
and she thinks that that person is into
her too, and then I start talking to

1320
00:45:25,732 --> 00:45:29,432
that person as well just as friends,
and all of a sudden they end up showing

1321
00:45:29,432 --> 00:45:31,962
more interest in me than in her- I'm out

1322
00:45:31,962 --> 00:45:33,492
she loses interest immediately.

1323
00:45:33,692 --> 00:45:33,912
I'm out.

1324
00:45:33,912 --> 00:45:37,512
And then she's like, "Fuck this."
And I'm like, "Dude, I'm a- He's

1325
00:45:37,512 --> 00:45:38,212
too charming.

1326
00:45:38,212 --> 00:45:40,932
Like- I, I'm like, wait a
second, this is, this is us here.

1327
00:45:40,932 --> 00:45:41,072
Yeah.

1328
00:45:41,072 --> 00:45:42,022
Like, we were doing our thing.

1329
00:45:42,022 --> 00:45:42,082
No.

1330
00:45:42,082 --> 00:45:42,682
And she's like, "No.

1331
00:45:42,772 --> 00:45:43,582
She- you can have her.

1332
00:45:43,892 --> 00:45:46,212
I didn't even think she was that
cute." And I'm like, "Yeah, you did.

1333
00:45:46,252 --> 00:45:47,532
You were, like, raving about her.

1334
00:45:47,532 --> 00:45:48,622
Like, what happened?" Oh, man.

1335
00:45:48,952 --> 00:45:49,992
And I was like, wait a second.

1336
00:45:50,502 --> 00:45:52,032
A win for me is, is us.

1337
00:45:52,032 --> 00:45:52,342
So

1338
00:45:52,342 --> 00:45:55,812
the, so the cutest thing a girl can
do, so the cutest thing a girl can

1339
00:45:55,812 --> 00:45:58,292
do is say, "Oh, I'm not interested
in him, I'm interested in you." Yes.

1340
00:45:58,392 --> 00:45:58,542
Right?

1341
00:45:58,542 --> 00:45:59,022
Is that it?

1342
00:45:59,022 --> 00:45:59,592
That's, that's a, that's

1343
00:45:59,592 --> 00:46:00,002
definitely it.

1344
00:46:00,002 --> 00:46:00,072
Is

1345
00:46:00,072 --> 00:46:00,922
that it?

1346
00:46:00,952 --> 00:46:01,302
I don't know.

1347
00:46:01,372 --> 00:46:02,332
I don't know.

1348
00:46:02,592 --> 00:46:03,622
I don't know what happens there.

1349
00:46:03,652 --> 00:46:04,302
It's weird.

1350
00:46:04,382 --> 00:46:04,612
I don't

1351
00:46:04,612 --> 00:46:04,672
know.

1352
00:46:04,672 --> 00:46:04,732
Yeah.

1353
00:46:04,732 --> 00:46:07,132
They're like, "I don't want, I don't
wanna be with him, just you." Okay.

1354
00:46:07,232 --> 00:46:07,392
But

1355
00:46:07,392 --> 00:46:10,692
my thing was it's like- Yeah ... hey, you
know, you should be celebrating that win.

1356
00:46:10,692 --> 00:46:11,072
Yeah.

1357
00:46:11,142 --> 00:46:13,152
Like, you should tell
me, "Hey, you know what?

1358
00:46:13,662 --> 00:46:14,262
Good for you.

1359
00:46:14,442 --> 00:46:16,302
You go enjoy that." Yeah.

1360
00:46:16,302 --> 00:46:17,622
"And tell me all about it later." Nah.

1361
00:46:17,672 --> 00:46:17,812
But

1362
00:46:17,812 --> 00:46:18,202
nah,

1363
00:46:18,202 --> 00:46:21,682
she's like, "Nah, fuck that. I'm
outta here." "I'm out. Peace."

1364
00:46:22,002 --> 00:46:24,072
Are you, Dylan, are you
a compersion person?

1365
00:46:24,072 --> 00:46:26,942
Do you, do you feel that when
you're with your partners?

1366
00:46:27,132 --> 00:46:27,812
I think so.

1367
00:46:28,222 --> 00:46:31,922
Like- Yeah ... for the most part I'm,
I, uh, have been in the lifestyle

1368
00:46:31,922 --> 00:46:33,452
obviously, but I'm a single person.

1369
00:46:33,542 --> 00:46:34,932
I love being single.

1370
00:46:34,932 --> 00:46:35,042
Okay.

1371
00:46:35,042 --> 00:46:37,692
It brings me much joy
to be a single person.

1372
00:46:37,692 --> 00:46:37,752
Yeah.

1373
00:46:38,242 --> 00:46:40,112
I think there's, like, a new
term for it going around.

1374
00:46:40,112 --> 00:46:42,822
It, is it's, like, self-loved
or some shit like that.

1375
00:46:43,152 --> 00:46:43,782
I haven't kept- Oh.

1376
00:46:43,812 --> 00:46:47,062
I haven't caught up with the new-
Huh ... like, Gen Z terminology of,

1377
00:46:47,182 --> 00:46:49,472
like, uh, accepting your singleness.

1378
00:46:49,502 --> 00:46:50,022
Yeah.

1379
00:46:50,192 --> 00:46:54,842
Um, but for me, like, because I've
never been in a, like, serious, serious

1380
00:46:54,842 --> 00:46:59,792
relationship, like, if you tell me you
wanna fuck other people, yeah, so do I.

1381
00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:00,552
Let's go.

1382
00:47:00,602 --> 00:47:01,312
Like... That's right.

1383
00:47:01,312 --> 00:47:01,922
Let's be a team.

1384
00:47:02,222 --> 00:47:04,322
So you're

1385
00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:05,322
full of compersion.

1386
00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:09,862
Yeah, like, I, the, I... The only
amounts of jealousy I've ever felt in

1387
00:47:09,862 --> 00:47:14,004
my life are from a professional level
Like if the person I was fucking won an

1388
00:47:14,004 --> 00:47:17,374
Oscar, I might be- ... a little upset.

1389
00:47:17,604 --> 00:47:17,874
A little.

1390
00:47:17,874 --> 00:47:18,244
Like I might- Yeah.

1391
00:47:18,484 --> 00:47:20,614
You might, you might not
have full compersion on that

1392
00:47:20,614 --> 00:47:20,714
one.

1393
00:47:20,714 --> 00:47:21,084
Correct.

1394
00:47:21,114 --> 00:47:23,874
I would kinda be like-
Yeah ... hey, what, how- Fuck

1395
00:47:23,874 --> 00:47:24,184
off.

1396
00:47:24,444 --> 00:47:24,594
You know.

1397
00:47:25,324 --> 00:47:29,334
So, so for me, yeah, it's m- a lot
of my, like, hang-ups and stuff

1398
00:47:29,334 --> 00:47:32,704
come from am I, like, successful
enough, am I doing enough?

1399
00:47:33,054 --> 00:47:35,744
When it comes to like- Okay, yeah
... getting, like, laid and shit like

1400
00:47:35,774 --> 00:47:39,734
that, it's like anybody who decides
to have sex with me, g- unbelievable.

1401
00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:40,324
I'm happy.

1402
00:47:40,324 --> 00:47:40,484
It's a,

1403
00:47:40,484 --> 00:47:41,034
it's a win.

1404
00:47:41,074 --> 00:47:41,574
Yeah, I'm so happy.

1405
00:47:41,574 --> 00:47:41,994
It's a win.

1406
00:47:41,994 --> 00:47:42,534
That, to be there.

1407
00:47:42,534 --> 00:47:42,574
I

1408
00:47:42,574 --> 00:47:44,344
get, I feel that same way all the time.

1409
00:47:44,564 --> 00:47:44,684
Great.

1410
00:47:44,684 --> 00:47:46,424
I feel that way when she has sex with me.

1411
00:47:46,684 --> 00:47:46,944
Yeah.

1412
00:47:47,084 --> 00:47:50,104
And legally, I mean, we're
together, we're one, you know?

1413
00:47:50,204 --> 00:47:50,474
Um- Well,

1414
00:47:50,574 --> 00:47:50,754
yeah.

1415
00:47:50,754 --> 00:47:50,874
Like,

1416
00:47:50,874 --> 00:47:52,374
so- So every day I'm just
like, "Wow, amazing."

1417
00:47:52,374 --> 00:47:54,994
So if somebody says that they wanna
have sex with other people, same.

1418
00:47:55,114 --> 00:47:55,744
Understood.

1419
00:47:55,994 --> 00:47:57,554
Like you and I are on the same page.

1420
00:47:57,554 --> 00:47:57,954
Let's...

1421
00:47:58,044 --> 00:47:58,674
Gotcha.

1422
00:47:58,844 --> 00:47:59,324
Yeah.

1423
00:47:59,824 --> 00:47:59,924
Yeah.

1424
00:48:00,124 --> 00:48:00,504
You know- I really

1425
00:48:00,504 --> 00:48:03,964
have to have a better
outlook on this, 'cause damn.

1426
00:48:04,284 --> 00:48:07,574
We, I did start doing this thing where
if a girl comes up to him at a club

1427
00:48:07,574 --> 00:48:10,364
and starts making out with him, like
automatically, I just roll my eyes.

1428
00:48:10,864 --> 00:48:11,024
Yeah.

1429
00:48:11,024 --> 00:48:11,144
Oh, man.

1430
00:48:11,144 --> 00:48:11,754
And then I look the other way.

1431
00:48:11,754 --> 00:48:13,214
I used to get in trouble for that one.

1432
00:48:13,214 --> 00:48:13,644
I'd be like, "What?" "And

1433
00:48:13,644 --> 00:48:14,664
I didn't do anything." I'd be like,

1434
00:48:14,754 --> 00:48:15,464
"
She didn't even-" "They would

1435
00:48:15,464 --> 00:48:15,964
just come up

1436
00:48:16,074 --> 00:48:16,464
to me." "She didn't say hi.

1437
00:48:16,604 --> 00:48:18,174
She just gave you her
tongue." It's like, hello.

1438
00:48:18,494 --> 00:48:19,984
That's how some people say hi.

1439
00:48:20,084 --> 00:48:20,924
Yeah, and so- While they were

1440
00:48:20,924 --> 00:48:21,784
introducing.

1441
00:48:21,784 --> 00:48:21,954
Ma- yeah.

1442
00:48:21,984 --> 00:48:24,734
Maybe, maybe we should have
a little talk before tongue

1443
00:48:24,734 --> 00:48:25,114
enters mouth.

1444
00:48:25,114 --> 00:48:25,454
Exactly.

1445
00:48:25,454 --> 00:48:26,674
Maybe let's just have a, let's have a

1446
00:48:26,674 --> 00:48:27,614
conversation, right?

1447
00:48:27,654 --> 00:48:27,714
Yeah.

1448
00:48:27,714 --> 00:48:30,714
And he's like, "But I don't mind it." She,
uh, so she a- And I'm like, "I mind it."

1449
00:48:30,714 --> 00:48:33,554
She's like, "Uh, excuse me, but they're
violating your boundaries." Yes.

1450
00:48:33,554 --> 00:48:34,484
And I was like, "Well, I don't

1451
00:48:34,554 --> 00:48:35,534
have that boundary."

1452
00:48:35,714 --> 00:48:36,094
I was like, "No."

1453
00:48:36,094 --> 00:48:37,274
"
You have that boundary."

1454
00:48:37,844 --> 00:48:40,394
But I do think there's a certain
amount of things that we have to do.

1455
00:48:40,394 --> 00:48:40,464
Yeah.

1456
00:48:40,464 --> 00:48:40,554
Yes.

1457
00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:42,884
We have to have ethics,
I think, in, in all this.

1458
00:48:42,944 --> 00:48:44,184
That's why we call it
ethical non-monogamy.

1459
00:48:44,384 --> 00:48:47,924
So for me, when Kama and I were
out there as a couple, it was very

1460
00:48:48,074 --> 00:48:51,094
important that people approached us
as a couple, that someone wasn't just

1461
00:48:51,094 --> 00:48:54,384
supposed to approach me and ignore
him or approach him and ignore me.

1462
00:48:54,454 --> 00:48:54,574
Mm-hmm.

1463
00:48:54,674 --> 00:48:54,784
Oh, yeah.

1464
00:48:54,784 --> 00:48:55,764
That is a yucky feeling.

1465
00:48:56,194 --> 00:48:57,954
Um, you do wanna be acknowledged as, hey.

1466
00:48:57,954 --> 00:48:58,564
Yeah, you're a person.

1467
00:48:58,564 --> 00:48:59,224
We're here.

1468
00:48:59,334 --> 00:48:59,394
Yeah.

1469
00:48:59,394 --> 00:49:00,234
There's something here.

1470
00:49:00,344 --> 00:49:00,824
Acknowledge that.

1471
00:49:00,824 --> 00:49:04,044
Because, because you do start feeling, the
people who do come and do that, there is

1472
00:49:04,044 --> 00:49:05,874
a sort of predatorial feeling about that.

1473
00:49:05,954 --> 00:49:06,164
Oh, totally.

1474
00:49:06,234 --> 00:49:09,444
And there are people who will try
to cannibalize your relationship.

1475
00:49:09,494 --> 00:49:09,904
They will.

1476
00:49:10,374 --> 00:49:13,444
Um, there, there is a darker side to- Yes.

1477
00:49:13,444 --> 00:49:15,714
Yes ... the whole lifestyle
stuff, is that there is some

1478
00:49:15,714 --> 00:49:17,414
predatory stuff going on sometimes.

1479
00:49:17,444 --> 00:49:17,584
Oh, yeah.

1480
00:49:17,584 --> 00:49:18,774
And we have to be very aware of it.

1481
00:49:18,874 --> 00:49:18,904
Mm-hmm.

1482
00:49:19,134 --> 00:49:20,204
We do have to talk about it.

1483
00:49:20,644 --> 00:49:24,664
And I do believe there's ethics in coming
up to a couple and talking to the couple.

1484
00:49:25,024 --> 00:49:27,684
And if you're interested in the man,
they need to turn to you guys and

1485
00:49:27,684 --> 00:49:29,624
say, "Hey, I'm really into you guys.

1486
00:49:29,664 --> 00:49:30,564
What are you two into?

1487
00:49:30,564 --> 00:49:33,104
What are your things, and where
do you let him... What is the

1488
00:49:33,144 --> 00:49:33,974
thing between the two of you?

1489
00:49:33,974 --> 00:49:35,034
How are you working this?

1490
00:49:35,034 --> 00:49:35,454
Because I'm

1491
00:49:35,454 --> 00:49:36,214
very interested in him." So,

1492
00:49:36,214 --> 00:49:36,334
you know,

1493
00:49:36,914 --> 00:49:37,544
that's, that's the way to do it.

1494
00:49:37,544 --> 00:49:37,884
That's the way to do it.

1495
00:49:37,884 --> 00:49:40,684
And that's the way I... I was in
the lifestyle before him, and that's

1496
00:49:40,684 --> 00:49:43,844
exactly how I have always done it.

1497
00:49:44,354 --> 00:49:45,852
And- No.

1498
00:49:46,162 --> 00:49:47,632
I feel like people coming in-

1499
00:49:47,812 --> 00:49:48,132
Yeah

1500
00:49:48,452 --> 00:49:48,842
...
don't do that.

1501
00:49:48,842 --> 00:49:48,992
It's a

1502
00:49:48,992 --> 00:49:50,162
different... And, well,
not everybody has that

1503
00:49:50,162 --> 00:49:50,462
mentality.

1504
00:49:50,462 --> 00:49:53,852
You know, they're like, "Oh, well,
y'all are individuals." Mm, mm, nah.

1505
00:49:54,112 --> 00:49:55,642
You know, it was, it was, it was tough.

1506
00:49:55,642 --> 00:49:56,562
Yeah, you're not when you're a couple.

1507
00:49:56,562 --> 00:50:00,312
It was tough for me because I, I didn't
wanna be out in front of people anyways.

1508
00:50:00,312 --> 00:50:01,062
I have anxiety.

1509
00:50:01,062 --> 00:50:01,122
Yeah.

1510
00:50:01,172 --> 00:50:02,542
I didn't wanna talk to anybody.

1511
00:50:02,892 --> 00:50:07,512
And so going to a club, I had
major anxiety, and all of a sudden

1512
00:50:07,512 --> 00:50:08,762
she'd be like, "Hey, do me a favor.

1513
00:50:08,762 --> 00:50:10,962
Go to the car and get the bag,"
or whatever. I'm like, "Really?

1514
00:50:10,962 --> 00:50:14,362
You're gonna send me through the sea
of people- Yeah ... of I don't know?"

1515
00:50:14,852 --> 00:50:17,922
And she's like, "Yeah, it's okay." And
then I'd be coming back, and somebody

1516
00:50:17,922 --> 00:50:21,042
would stop me who I didn't know, and
they'd be like, "Hey, you're Adam, aren't

1517
00:50:21,122 --> 00:50:23,502
you?" And I'm like, "Yeah." And all
of a sudden, boom, they're kissing me.

1518
00:50:23,502 --> 00:50:26,382
And I'm like, "Well..." And then Pris
is walking over here to pull me away,

1519
00:50:26,382 --> 00:50:28,062
and I'm like, "I didn't do anything.

1520
00:50:28,062 --> 00:50:29,752
You shouldn't have sent me out
there." She's like, "What the..."

1521
00:50:29,752 --> 00:50:31,202
She's like, "What happened?" I
didn't wanna go in the first place.

1522
00:50:31,232 --> 00:50:36,042
Well, I have to say- Yeah ... from my
standpoint, like, that is unacceptable.

1523
00:50:36,682 --> 00:50:36,712
Ah.

1524
00:50:36,712 --> 00:50:38,902
Whether you're a man or a woman, you
can't just kiss somebody without- Yeah.

1525
00:50:38,902 --> 00:50:40,122
I mean, I'm- That's- Yeah ... I'm

1526
00:50:40,122 --> 00:50:40,982
not gonna complain.

1527
00:50:40,982 --> 00:50:41,102
I mean,

1528
00:50:41,102 --> 00:50:41,512
I like it, but, you know.

1529
00:50:41,512 --> 00:50:41,602
Right.

1530
00:50:41,602 --> 00:50:43,972
But what, what I'm saying is if
you're listening to this podcast,

1531
00:50:44,442 --> 00:50:48,312
uh, consent happens at all-
Totally ... levels of this equation.

1532
00:50:48,702 --> 00:50:51,332
So if you're attracted to someone,
you need to let them know.

1533
00:50:51,682 --> 00:50:51,772
Yes.

1534
00:50:51,772 --> 00:50:55,732
You need to let them acknowledge that
they know that you are attracted to them.

1535
00:50:55,732 --> 00:50:55,762
Mm-hmm.

1536
00:50:55,822 --> 00:50:59,942
And then you need to take the logical
flowchart from there And I'm saying, like,

1537
00:50:59,942 --> 00:51:01,552
obviously spontaneity and stuff like that.

1538
00:51:01,622 --> 00:51:02,802
But I don't know, man.

1539
00:51:02,802 --> 00:51:05,482
That seems like, uh, I don't, I
don't think I would be comfortable

1540
00:51:05,482 --> 00:51:08,972
somebody just kissing me without me
going like, "Hey, what's your name?"

1541
00:51:08,972 --> 00:51:09,082
Yeah,

1542
00:51:09,112 --> 00:51:09,482
no.

1543
00:51:10,102 --> 00:51:10,162
You

1544
00:51:10,162 --> 00:51:10,222
know?

1545
00:51:10,222 --> 00:51:13,462
Well, you know, like I said, Dylan, I was
unsuccessful, like- Oh, what's going on?

1546
00:51:13,582 --> 00:51:14,402
... my whole youth.

1547
00:51:14,402 --> 00:51:17,542
So I was like, "Bring it on, bro." You're

1548
00:51:17,542 --> 00:51:17,762
like,

1549
00:51:17,762 --> 00:51:20,202
"
Ugh." And he- here's where
I wanna interject something.

1550
00:51:20,202 --> 00:51:24,242
Just in regards to jealousy is, you
know, jealousy gets a, gets a bad

1551
00:51:24,242 --> 00:51:28,352
rap, and many times it's toxic and
chronic and, you know, not good.

1552
00:51:28,792 --> 00:51:30,612
Um, and it's an insecurity driven thing.

1553
00:51:30,682 --> 00:51:34,522
But jealousy can also be positive
as an early warning system.

1554
00:51:34,642 --> 00:51:34,832
Mm-hmm.

1555
00:51:35,052 --> 00:51:35,482
You know?

1556
00:51:35,552 --> 00:51:39,242
If, if you're seeing- Yeah ... something
happen that doesn't feel right to

1557
00:51:39,242 --> 00:51:42,912
you, that could inspire feelings
of jealousy because that consent

1558
00:51:42,912 --> 00:51:44,242
is not being handled right.

1559
00:51:44,682 --> 00:51:47,962
And so I think it's important to
really tease apart, you know, what,

1560
00:51:48,122 --> 00:51:49,872
what is the basis of your jealousy?

1561
00:51:49,872 --> 00:51:54,002
Because if it truly is endangering
of the relationship, 'cause there are

1562
00:51:54,002 --> 00:51:57,412
predators- Mm-hmm ... you know, of
both genders- Mm-hmm ... who try to

1563
00:51:57,412 --> 00:52:01,782
go and, and- Yes ... achieve something
without, you know, the compliance

1564
00:52:01,822 --> 00:52:04,112
or agreement from the other partner.

1565
00:52:04,142 --> 00:52:07,462
And, you know, a couple is
different than a single.

1566
00:52:07,952 --> 00:52:08,192
Absolutely.

1567
00:52:08,192 --> 00:52:11,282
And they need to be addressed- Absolutely

1568
00:52:11,282 --> 00:52:14,342
you know, in, in whatever
their chosen style is.

1569
00:52:14,772 --> 00:52:16,762
And a lot of people just
blow past that gate.

1570
00:52:17,022 --> 00:52:19,392
And I- And we've, we've met a lot
of people in the lifestyle that they

1571
00:52:19,392 --> 00:52:23,752
just, they simply do not care, and
that to us is a dangerous person.

1572
00:52:23,752 --> 00:52:26,352
I'm so glad you brought that up, Kama,
because- Mm-hmm ... urvashi- Yeah

1573
00:52:26,352 --> 00:52:27,492
especially you as a stripper.

1574
00:52:27,842 --> 00:52:28,072
Yeah.

1575
00:52:28,072 --> 00:52:31,292
Um, something that you'll find
is that women sometimes get

1576
00:52:31,292 --> 00:52:35,142
away with certain things that
would not- Oh ... be acceptable-

1577
00:52:35,502 --> 00:52:35,552
Oh.

1578
00:52:35,582 --> 00:52:36,272
Oh Totally.

1579
00:52:36,702 --> 00:52:37,372
Yeah, we had a

1580
00:52:37,372 --> 00:52:38,332
long talk about that

1581
00:52:38,332 --> 00:52:39,602
...
in a, in a different context.

1582
00:52:39,602 --> 00:52:39,732
E- yeah.

1583
00:52:39,732 --> 00:52:41,752
And this is a big problem in strip clubs.

1584
00:52:41,752 --> 00:52:45,472
This has been a noted problem in strip
clubs for a long time, that female

1585
00:52:45,472 --> 00:52:49,792
patrons will sometimes way overstep their
bounds because they think it's okay.

1586
00:52:50,432 --> 00:52:50,632
Mm-hmm.

1587
00:52:50,632 --> 00:52:51,442
And it's not.

1588
00:52:51,582 --> 00:52:53,372
It's, it's not acceptable
by either gender.

1589
00:52:53,372 --> 00:52:53,622
Huge in the

1590
00:52:53,622 --> 00:52:54,162
lifestyle.

1591
00:52:54,192 --> 00:52:54,542
Absolutely.

1592
00:52:54,542 --> 00:52:55,202
Huge in the lifestyle.

1593
00:52:55,202 --> 00:52:57,692
I have been, I've been more
violated- No, when, when I came

1594
00:52:57,692 --> 00:52:59,402
in- ... by women than I have by men.

1595
00:52:59,472 --> 00:52:59,762
Yeah.

1596
00:53:00,510 --> 00:53:01,840
Truly, I have been-

1597
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:02,160
Yeah ... truly

1598
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:03,230
assaulted, and I will

1599
00:53:03,230 --> 00:53:03,680
use- Yeah ... the

1600
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:03,870
word

1601
00:53:03,870 --> 00:53:04,400
assaulted-

1602
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:06,930
Same, yes ... by women in ways
that if a man had done that,

1603
00:53:07,300 --> 00:53:08,510
every woman in the club- Exactly

1604
00:53:08,510 --> 00:53:09,320
would have kicked his ass.

1605
00:53:09,380 --> 00:53:11,540
But when a woman does it to me
and they just walk up, and, and

1606
00:53:11,540 --> 00:53:12,950
I've been traumatized by that.

1607
00:53:12,950 --> 00:53:13,400
They get a pass, yeah.

1608
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,850
So it is the women in the
lifestyle sometimes that

1609
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:17,460
really bother me in that way.

1610
00:53:17,870 --> 00:53:21,100
Um, and I was gonna say, when somebody
said, "Oh, you're both individuals even

1611
00:53:21,100 --> 00:53:22,480
though you're married," yes, you are.

1612
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:27,420
However, to me, not asking the other
person and bringing them into is now,

1613
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:31,280
yeah, maybe, you know, you and Adam,
you know, Adam a- and this woman maybe

1614
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:34,280
have had some consent, but there hasn't
been consent on her part yet, so you're

1615
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:35,820
still dealing with a non-consent issue.

1616
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,320
Like, like Kama said, you
are no longer just- Mm-hmm

1617
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:40,450
an individual when you're a couple.

1618
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:41,270
Yes, you're individuals.

1619
00:53:41,270 --> 00:53:44,470
You can make these decisions, but there is
another person you have to check in with.

1620
00:53:44,820 --> 00:53:47,010
There's a, there's agreements
between these two you have to be

1621
00:53:47,010 --> 00:53:48,690
aware of and you have to respect.

1622
00:53:48,690 --> 00:53:48,790
Yeah.

1623
00:53:49,380 --> 00:53:53,740
So that, when someone is not doing that,
then that is exactly what Kama said.

1624
00:53:53,740 --> 00:53:57,230
That would spark me, Pris, to
have some of that territorial

1625
00:53:57,230 --> 00:53:59,500
sensation of, "What's going on here?

1626
00:53:59,500 --> 00:54:00,540
This does not- Yeah.

1627
00:54:00,540 --> 00:54:00,640
Yeah

1628
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:01,160
...
seem right." Yeah, yeah.

1629
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:01,890
And me, I'm oblivious.

1630
00:54:01,890 --> 00:54:01,950
So-

1631
00:54:01,950 --> 00:54:02,240
'
Cause nobody,

1632
00:54:02,850 --> 00:54:04,750
yeah, nobody likes to be disregarded.

1633
00:54:04,750 --> 00:54:04,870
Most

1634
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:05,320
men don't.

1635
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:06,740
Nobody likes to be disregarded.

1636
00:54:06,740 --> 00:54:07,080
Yeah.

1637
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:07,260
Yeah, no.

1638
00:54:07,260 --> 00:54:07,560
Yeah.

1639
00:54:07,630 --> 00:54:08,330
That's- Yeah

1640
00:54:08,390 --> 00:54:09,390
...
that's not a good

1641
00:54:09,390 --> 00:54:09,560
feeling.

1642
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:10,130
Oh, dude, that's the worst.

1643
00:54:10,130 --> 00:54:10,610
Agreed.

1644
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:11,130
Yeah, that's

1645
00:54:11,130 --> 00:54:11,530
the worst.

1646
00:54:11,530 --> 00:54:14,120
That is a feeling that will spark,
uh, maybe not jealousy, just straight

1647
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,080
up anger if somebody is being- Yeah.

1648
00:54:16,190 --> 00:54:16,320
You know.

1649
00:54:16,380 --> 00:54:16,770
Yeah.

1650
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,580
She's always- Yeah ... she's always
felt like there was something wrong

1651
00:54:19,580 --> 00:54:20,990
with her because she was so jealous.

1652
00:54:20,990 --> 00:54:23,530
But really, I'm not a jealous person.

1653
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:23,720
Yeah.

1654
00:54:23,720 --> 00:54:26,780
And so she would see me and go,
"Why can't I be like that?" And I'm

1655
00:54:26,780 --> 00:54:31,000
like, "Well, understand that mine
comes more from a place of trauma.

1656
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,370
Because when I was young, I came
out of an abusive household.

1657
00:54:34,430 --> 00:54:36,760
I never got love from anybody.

1658
00:54:37,170 --> 00:54:42,680
Uh, and so- Oh ... you know, the
moment that I start f- seeing all

1659
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,120
of this, you know, people are going,
"Well, of course, she's freaking hot,"

1660
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:46,760
and, "Why wouldn't people want her?"

1661
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:47,050
You know?

1662
00:54:47,050 --> 00:54:51,940
So when people do things like
they'll sidestep me and, and just

1663
00:54:51,940 --> 00:54:53,500
talk to her, I just laugh it off.

1664
00:54:53,890 --> 00:54:57,420
Uh, it doesn't make me jealous because
I know she loves me, she's gonna

1665
00:54:57,420 --> 00:54:59,440
come back to me, and she's gonna put
a stop to that shit pretty quick.

1666
00:54:59,440 --> 00:54:59,610
Yeah,

1667
00:54:59,610 --> 00:55:00,080
I'm

1668
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:00,610
really fast about that.

1669
00:55:00,610 --> 00:55:03,200
Um, you know, she's very
consistent with her reactions.

1670
00:55:03,590 --> 00:55:04,010
Period, yeah.

1671
00:55:04,010 --> 00:55:07,270
So I'm, I'm very solid in I
know how she's gonna react.

1672
00:55:07,730 --> 00:55:12,470
Um, I t- I've had people message me
before- Yeah ... and say, "Hey, I just

1673
00:55:12,470 --> 00:55:17,460
wanted to know, is it okay, uh, that I,
you know, ask your wife out on a date?"

1674
00:55:17,510 --> 00:55:19,460
And I'm like, "Knock yourself out."

1675
00:55:19,690 --> 00:55:19,990
Good luck.

1676
00:55:19,990 --> 00:55:22,030
Uh, have, have, h- help
yourself, you know?

1677
00:55:22,030 --> 00:55:23,000
And I, I appreciate- Yeah

1678
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:28,148
the respect of coming to me, but,
uh, you know, I know- S- I know what

1679
00:55:28,148 --> 00:55:30,018
her reaction's gonna be, and it's
probably- Yeah ... gonna be a no.

1680
00:55:30,128 --> 00:55:30,308
Yeah.

1681
00:55:30,308 --> 00:55:30,808
You know what I mean?

1682
00:55:30,808 --> 00:55:33,188
So I don't really- Sure ... uh,
it, it doesn't spurn any kind

1683
00:55:33,188 --> 00:55:34,098
of- Yeah ... jealousy out of me.

1684
00:55:34,098 --> 00:55:34,448
Mm-hmm.

1685
00:55:34,708 --> 00:55:38,638
Uh, and so because she's always seen
that from me, she's always been,

1686
00:55:38,688 --> 00:55:42,308
hard on herself when she has these
feelings of jealousy, and I've always

1687
00:55:42,308 --> 00:55:43,798
said, "Jealousy's not the villain."

1688
00:55:44,238 --> 00:55:44,478
Yeah.

1689
00:55:44,478 --> 00:55:46,458
You know, we can't make
jealousy be the villain.

1690
00:55:46,458 --> 00:55:47,238
We're all human.

1691
00:55:47,268 --> 00:55:49,548
We all have these- Sure ... moments.

1692
00:55:49,588 --> 00:55:51,258
And I do have moments of jealousy.

1693
00:55:51,628 --> 00:55:54,388
I... She's my best audience, you know?

1694
00:55:54,728 --> 00:55:58,268
And if somebody makes
her laugh more, oh, God.

1695
00:55:58,588 --> 00:56:01,588
Let me tell you, if somebody comes
up to her- ... and s- and she

1696
00:56:01,588 --> 00:56:04,968
comes up to me afterwards and she
goes, "Oh my gosh, he was so funny.

1697
00:56:05,308 --> 00:56:07,388
He was so funny," uh, uh, no, nah.

1698
00:56:07,748 --> 00:56:08,698
But- Leave that at the doorstep.

1699
00:56:08,698 --> 00:56:08,728
I

1700
00:56:08,728 --> 00:56:09,368
think the great

1701
00:56:09,368 --> 00:56:10,848
thing- You know, leave that over there.

1702
00:56:11,108 --> 00:56:11,378
That's,

1703
00:56:11,378 --> 00:56:12,498
that's where his jealousy comes in.

1704
00:56:12,498 --> 00:56:13,278
I think that's where it comes in.

1705
00:56:13,278 --> 00:56:13,808
That, that's his jealousy.

1706
00:56:13,878 --> 00:56:15,018
And I, and I'll spark it,
I'll tell you that much.

1707
00:56:15,018 --> 00:56:16,908
But it doesn't take a whole
lot, just a little bit.

1708
00:56:17,448 --> 00:56:19,988
Or even if it's like- The great thing
about the lifestyle, though, is-

1709
00:56:20,018 --> 00:56:22,148
and, you know, bring it
back to the movie, like-

1710
00:56:22,688 --> 00:56:22,958
Yeah

1711
00:56:22,998 --> 00:56:26,958
...
in a normal monogamous relationship, maybe
that would lead to a massive fight or it

1712
00:56:26,958 --> 00:56:29,308
would lead to a breakup or something else.

1713
00:56:29,618 --> 00:56:33,338
But because you've already established
these things in your life, and you've

1714
00:56:33,338 --> 00:56:37,118
established these avenues for, once
again, communication and honesty

1715
00:56:37,118 --> 00:56:42,418
and looking at yourself, you as a
couple not only get to go, "Hey, I

1716
00:56:42,418 --> 00:56:43,998
understand why that makes me upset.

1717
00:56:44,488 --> 00:56:46,508
Let's have a... Let's,
let's talk about why.

1718
00:56:46,798 --> 00:56:51,238
Like, let's talk about..." And you as a
couple and as an individual can both grow.

1719
00:56:51,238 --> 00:56:51,268
Mm-hmm.

1720
00:56:51,858 --> 00:56:55,148
And I think that is a much- Yeah
... healthier way to live your life.

1721
00:56:55,328 --> 00:56:58,468
And even if you want to stay monogamous,
like, the whole point of the movie is not

1722
00:56:58,468 --> 00:57:01,458
to disown monogamy, but at the very- Yeah

1723
00:57:01,458 --> 00:57:03,678
least for you to look at your
relationships- Absolutely ... and

1724
00:57:03,678 --> 00:57:06,838
go, "Uh, maybe I could be a little
bit more honest with my feelings.

1725
00:57:06,838 --> 00:57:09,358
Maybe I could examine my
jealousy a little bit better.

1726
00:57:09,358 --> 00:57:13,018
Maybe I could do all these things."
Uh, Billy has a great line in the movie

1727
00:57:13,018 --> 00:57:16,548
where it's like, "I think people in the
monogamy land could take a couple of words

1728
00:57:16,548 --> 00:57:19,598
of advice from us just to make their own
relationships a little bit healthier."

1729
00:57:20,278 --> 00:57:22,878
Um- Yes ... and that's- Totally
... what the movie's all about.

1730
00:57:23,058 --> 00:57:25,778
It's not to- Yeah ... convert
you into non-monogamy.

1731
00:57:25,778 --> 00:57:30,018
It's to make you look at relationships
in general with a little bit

1732
00:57:30,068 --> 00:57:32,668
more m- of a fine-tooth comb.

1733
00:57:33,208 --> 00:57:33,458
Yeah.

1734
00:57:34,258 --> 00:57:38,568
Now, we're gonna be, , wrapping up
here in just a minute, but before

1735
00:57:38,568 --> 00:57:44,098
we do, I kinda wanna go back to the
movie in that- and I didn't get to ask

1736
00:57:44,098 --> 00:57:46,718
this, but where did the idea for the

1737
00:57:46,718 --> 00:57:48,518
Like, when was it spurned?

1738
00:57:48,518 --> 00:57:49,188
Like, how did this happen?

1739
00:57:49,188 --> 00:57:49,638
Once y'all met,

1740
00:57:49,638 --> 00:57:51,238
did y'all just say, "Okay,
we're doing this one"?

1741
00:57:51,238 --> 00:57:52,858
Yeah, like whose idea was it?

1742
00:57:52,858 --> 00:57:53,918
What, what happened here?

1743
00:57:54,118 --> 00:57:54,188
No,

1744
00:57:54,678 --> 00:58:00,438
what happened was it was actually the
idea of a company in Britain, and someone

1745
00:58:01,108 --> 00:58:04,808
reached out to, to, to us or reached out
to this general level saying they were

1746
00:58:04,808 --> 00:58:09,168
gonna be doing a, a, a big se- series
basically about non-monogamy, and they

1747
00:58:09,168 --> 00:58:12,468
wanted every week to do another series
of, uh, like this is the jealousy one.

1748
00:58:12,468 --> 00:58:12,548
Mm-hmm.

1749
00:58:12,548 --> 00:58:13,848
This is the party one.

1750
00:58:13,848 --> 00:58:14,768
This is the whatever.

1751
00:58:14,768 --> 00:58:18,728
And so they contacted us and asked if
we would be willing to do a partnership

1752
00:58:18,728 --> 00:58:22,478
with them in America and do all these
interviews and do all this sort of stuff

1753
00:58:22,478 --> 00:58:24,018
around this, and they sent us scripts.

1754
00:58:24,058 --> 00:58:27,378
They sent us everything to
go on, and Dylan, at the same

1755
00:58:27,378 --> 00:58:28,558
time as we, we were- Yeah

1756
00:58:28,558 --> 00:58:31,348
just happy to talk, and I told Dylan what
was going on, and Dylan's like, "Hey, I've

1757
00:58:31,418 --> 00:58:32,628
always wanted to do a film like this."

1758
00:58:32,628 --> 00:58:35,378
Yeah, at the exact same time
I wanted to follow up V Card.

1759
00:58:35,448 --> 00:58:38,118
I didn't really know what I
was gonna do, and I thought- Mm

1760
00:58:38,118 --> 00:58:39,988
ethical non-monogamy
would be the best thing.

1761
00:58:40,048 --> 00:58:42,168
And yeah, literally like a week later-

1762
00:58:42,538 --> 00:58:42,778
Yep

1763
00:58:42,888 --> 00:58:44,128
...
me and Irvy were talking.

1764
00:58:44,128 --> 00:58:44,928
We just checked in.

1765
00:58:44,928 --> 00:58:46,848
I had, yeah I was just like, "Hey, how are
you guys doing?" She's like, "Oh, we have

1766
00:58:46,848 --> 00:58:50,458
this incredible offer from this company."
And I was like, "Hey, I've actually been

1767
00:58:50,458 --> 00:58:51,878
thinking about doing a documentary- Yeah

1768
00:58:51,878 --> 00:58:52,578
about the exact same thing.

1769
00:58:52,578 --> 00:58:53,398
Would you like to partner?"

1770
00:58:53,898 --> 00:58:55,308
And the LEGOs piece together

1771
00:58:55,308 --> 00:58:58,578
So we did, and, and what we...
Well, what happened was the company

1772
00:58:58,578 --> 00:59:01,518
in Britain pulled out after we
sent them about 400 hours- Oh.

1773
00:59:01,518 --> 00:59:04,168
Wow ... worth of footage and all
sorts of stuff from Spark Erotic,

1774
00:59:04,168 --> 00:59:05,098
things that Dylan had done.

1775
00:59:05,128 --> 00:59:05,938
We worked so hard.

1776
00:59:05,938 --> 00:59:07,558
I still want- We worked for what?

1777
00:59:07,618 --> 00:59:08,868
Like six to eight months-
Yeah, I still need my

1778
00:59:08,868 --> 00:59:09,328
hard drive

1779
00:59:09,328 --> 00:59:11,148
back ... working, pulling that together.

1780
00:59:11,258 --> 00:59:11,538
Yeah.

1781
00:59:11,628 --> 00:59:11,848
I know.

1782
00:59:11,848 --> 00:59:11,938
Save.

1783
00:59:11,938 --> 00:59:12,968
We need that hard drive back.

1784
00:59:13,418 --> 00:59:15,768
Um, and it got even to the point
of getting right to the point

1785
00:59:15,768 --> 00:59:17,708
of signing the legal stuff,
and then they just disappeared.

1786
00:59:17,708 --> 00:59:17,828
Wow.

1787
00:59:17,828 --> 00:59:19,098
We have no idea what happened to them.

1788
00:59:19,588 --> 00:59:22,848
So Dylan then said, "Wow, you
guys are dead in the water.

1789
00:59:22,908 --> 00:59:24,438
Let's do this together." Nice.

1790
00:59:25,168 --> 00:59:26,838
So that became a wonderful thing.

1791
00:59:26,838 --> 00:59:28,998
He said, "Why would you waste
your... Wa- waste all this?

1792
00:59:28,998 --> 00:59:31,138
Let's just-" And I was- "... pull it
together." And I think, Dylan, you

1793
00:59:31,138 --> 00:59:33,238
had offered that to a point- Yeah, I, I
was, I was hitting a wall with the doc-

1794
00:59:33,238 --> 00:59:34,688
but you got stuck too ... and
remember, guys, this is happening

1795
00:59:34,688 --> 00:59:35,868
over the course of years.

1796
00:59:35,898 --> 00:59:37,618
Like, the movie took-
Okay ... five years to make.

1797
00:59:38,068 --> 00:59:38,318
Yes.

1798
00:59:38,318 --> 00:59:42,558
We started filming it basically right
after COVID restrictions were starting

1799
00:59:42,558 --> 00:59:46,438
to lift, so like- Mm-hmm ... beginning
of 2021, early s- like- '21.

1800
00:59:47,138 --> 00:59:48,578
Starting, yeah, February of 2021, yeah

1801
00:59:48,578 --> 00:59:50,838
January of, like, 2021 is when, when we
really got into production-production.

1802
00:59:50,968 --> 00:59:51,028
Yeah.

1803
00:59:51,438 --> 00:59:54,818
And, we had gotten all of these,
great interviews and stuff like that.

1804
00:59:54,818 --> 00:59:57,828
I had gotten interviews with
the experts and stuff like that.

1805
00:59:58,057 --> 01:00:01,417
And right around the time that
unfortunately these people had

1806
01:00:01,417 --> 01:00:03,637
pulled out of their project,
I was hitting this massive...

1807
01:00:03,807 --> 01:00:08,007
I, I have, uh, really big problems with,
uh, depression and suicidal ideation.

1808
01:00:08,007 --> 01:00:09,897
That's, like, my big roadblock.

1809
01:00:10,257 --> 01:00:10,347
Oh.

1810
01:00:10,347 --> 01:00:13,697
And creativity can cause some of
those things to get even worse.

1811
01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:16,337
And I had hit this point where
I was, I was ready to throw

1812
01:00:16,337 --> 01:00:17,447
the movie in the garbage.

1813
01:00:17,497 --> 01:00:21,617
Like, I felt so low as a person that
I, I didn't really think that there

1814
01:00:21,617 --> 01:00:23,647
was any merit in continuing with it.

1815
01:00:24,367 --> 01:00:28,507
Uh, but I knew that we had worked together
to get the interviews, and I at that point

1816
01:00:28,507 --> 01:00:32,367
knew that they had pulled out, and I was
like, "Hey, Hail Mary, do you guys still

1817
01:00:32,367 --> 01:00:35,717
wanna make this?" And of course they were
like, "Yeah, absolutely." Like, they,

1818
01:00:35,717 --> 01:00:39,507
they've been the, the biggest cheerleaders
for this movie, and the, the movie

1819
01:00:39,507 --> 01:00:42,937
wouldn't happen without all three of us,
but it was really them choosing to work

1820
01:00:42,937 --> 01:00:44,777
with me that allowed the movie to finish.

1821
01:00:44,777 --> 01:00:48,487
So I will be ever eternally grateful
for that happening because I was at a

1822
01:00:48,487 --> 01:00:52,027
point where I was just like, "I don't
give a fuck whether this movie exists or

1823
01:00:52,027 --> 01:00:54,717
not." Like, I'm not in a g- Yeah ... I'm
not in a good fucking head space.

1824
01:00:54,717 --> 01:00:56,827
Like, just- Yeah ... just
let it fucking end.

1825
01:00:57,347 --> 01:01:00,497
Um, but I'm so glad that we obviously
moved past that, and I think we

1826
01:01:00,727 --> 01:01:03,957
created something that I know that
I'm gonna look back on and go,

1827
01:01:04,277 --> 01:01:05,597
"Yeah, we did a fucking kickass job."

1828
01:01:05,897 --> 01:01:08,037
We really made something that I'm proud

1829
01:01:08,037 --> 01:01:08,257
of.

1830
01:01:08,947 --> 01:01:09,037
Yeah.

1831
01:01:09,037 --> 01:01:09,337
And we- Yeah,

1832
01:01:09,377 --> 01:01:09,777
it really

1833
01:01:09,777 --> 01:01:11,587
is ... you know, we basically did it-

1834
01:01:11,757 --> 01:01:11,987
Yeah

1835
01:01:12,257 --> 01:01:17,567
...
like a- an intensive because Dylan
would drive up from Albuquerque

1836
01:01:17,567 --> 01:01:19,367
and come stay with us in Colorado.

1837
01:01:19,977 --> 01:01:24,197
And, you know, we'd bedroom and
editing suites and, you know-

1838
01:01:24,847 --> 01:01:25,037
Yeah

1839
01:01:25,067 --> 01:01:27,267
...
make dinners and hang out and talk.

1840
01:01:27,267 --> 01:01:29,707
And so we- Yeah ... you know, we,
we have a huge whiteboard- It's like

1841
01:01:29,707 --> 01:01:31,057
two weeks just filled ... that we
laid everything out with stickies.

1842
01:01:31,057 --> 01:01:32,447
And, uh, we lived with
him for almost- I lived

1843
01:01:32,447 --> 01:01:34,517
with you guys for almost like
a year, technically, with all

1844
01:01:34,517 --> 01:01:35,677
the time that we spent together.

1845
01:01:35,677 --> 01:01:35,997
That's awesome.

1846
01:01:35,997 --> 01:01:36,067
Yeah.

1847
01:01:36,067 --> 01:01:36,177
Right.

1848
01:01:36,177 --> 01:01:36,487
Yeah.

1849
01:01:36,747 --> 01:01:38,447
You kinda came back and
forth, back and forth.

1850
01:01:38,447 --> 01:01:38,487
Yeah.

1851
01:01:38,487 --> 01:01:40,757
But it was beautiful, and the,
and the movie is stronger for it.

1852
01:01:40,757 --> 01:01:41,277
You, you suffered a lot driving

1853
01:01:41,277 --> 01:01:41,607
up here.

1854
01:01:41,647 --> 01:01:42,427
The, like- Yeah.

1855
01:01:42,427 --> 01:01:45,077
That's awesome ... there is
something so incredible about

1856
01:01:45,897 --> 01:01:47,357
working together as a team, right?

1857
01:01:47,357 --> 01:01:49,647
Like, working together as a team
is always a, a very good thing,

1858
01:01:49,647 --> 01:01:54,407
but having different perspectives
will always make your stuff better.

1859
01:01:54,697 --> 01:01:55,027
It's-

1860
01:01:55,027 --> 01:01:55,227
Mm-hmm

1861
01:01:55,467 --> 01:01:58,427
...
there is never gonna be a point
where it doesn't make it stronger-

1862
01:01:58,427 --> 01:02:02,627
Yeah ... because when all three of us
really love something, it's fantastic.

1863
01:02:02,687 --> 01:02:03,947
If two of us- Yeah ... are kinda like,

1864
01:02:04,337 --> 01:02:04,707
"
Hmm,

1865
01:02:04,707 --> 01:02:05,527
I don't know if I- Yeah.

1866
01:02:05,527 --> 01:02:08,287
Eh ... I don't really know
if..." That's a, a clear sign-

1867
01:02:08,287 --> 01:02:11,547
Yeah ... that it isn't strong
enough, and you need to move past it.

1868
01:02:11,887 --> 01:02:12,597
So- Yeah.

1869
01:02:12,597 --> 01:02:12,877
That's good.

1870
01:02:13,017 --> 01:02:15,147
Right Yeah ... uh, I
encourage anybody in- Yeah.

1871
01:02:15,337 --> 01:02:18,007
I think also it's just- ... monogamy
or not, l- you know, listen

1872
01:02:18,007 --> 01:02:18,897
to the people around you.

1873
01:02:19,157 --> 01:02:19,537
Communicate.

1874
01:02:19,537 --> 01:02:20,017
Yes.

1875
01:02:20,267 --> 01:02:20,477
Yeah.

1876
01:02:21,357 --> 01:02:23,537
No, you hit, yeah, you hit certain walls.

1877
01:02:23,537 --> 01:02:26,667
Um, I, I think, you know, the big
thing we came across is when we just

1878
01:02:26,667 --> 01:02:28,057
came across was we need a couple.

1879
01:02:28,187 --> 01:02:31,747
We need, we need the couple to be, be
all of us- Yeah ... asking the questions.

1880
01:02:31,747 --> 01:02:34,187
That was a hu- that's what tied the
whole thing in is when we decided...

1881
01:02:34,187 --> 01:02:37,087
Like, we had that creative moment of
how do we do, how do we tell this story?

1882
01:02:37,157 --> 01:02:37,417
Mm-hmm.

1883
01:02:37,487 --> 01:02:40,767
And had we not sat down together
and done that whiteboard, we never

1884
01:02:40,767 --> 01:02:41,807
would've come up with the idea- Yeah.

1885
01:02:41,897 --> 01:02:43,937
Yeah ... of that couple being
the people- Oh, I love it ... who

1886
01:02:43,937 --> 01:02:44,707
take you through the film.

1887
01:02:44,737 --> 01:02:44,977
Yeah.

1888
01:02:45,027 --> 01:02:46,047
I thought that was such a cool

1889
01:02:46,047 --> 01:02:46,207
part.

1890
01:02:46,207 --> 01:02:49,707
And, and we decided that we wanted...
We were having so much fun, too.

1891
01:02:49,707 --> 01:02:52,597
We decided to make the film
humorous as well because we thought

1892
01:02:52,677 --> 01:02:55,007
even though we want all this
education, we know that when...

1893
01:02:55,007 --> 01:02:59,077
And I've been a teacher for a long time
as well, and so when you go in and you

1894
01:02:59,107 --> 01:03:02,707
teach people with humor, it locks it
into them, and they're so much more

1895
01:03:02,707 --> 01:03:04,117
willing to go on the journey with you.

1896
01:03:04,437 --> 01:03:06,547
So that was fun sitting together
and realizing, oh, we're

1897
01:03:06,547 --> 01:03:07,487
laughing together doing this.

1898
01:03:07,587 --> 01:03:08,907
We should bring that laughter to the film.

1899
01:03:08,987 --> 01:03:10,767
Oh, we're asking all these
questions as a couple.

1900
01:03:10,797 --> 01:03:12,047
We should have a couple in the film.

1901
01:03:12,077 --> 01:03:12,197
Yeah.

1902
01:03:12,197 --> 01:03:12,917
You know, things like that.

1903
01:03:12,917 --> 01:03:13,007
Yeah.

1904
01:03:13,057 --> 01:03:18,187
So it was, it really helped us figure,
flesh it out to a way that made it... I, I

1905
01:03:18,187 --> 01:03:20,347
think the way it became Dy-Dylan's vision.

1906
01:03:20,467 --> 01:03:20,527
Yeah.

1907
01:03:20,527 --> 01:03:21,587
No, it's, it's the
beauty of collaboration.

1908
01:03:21,587 --> 01:03:22,177
It really was.

1909
01:03:22,177 --> 01:03:23,457
And we, and I have to say-

1910
01:03:23,507 --> 01:03:27,267
Documentaries, I think, are the
hardest form of film to do, and I'm so

1911
01:03:27,267 --> 01:03:30,047
grateful for Dylan for having that to
it 'cause we knew how to do something

1912
01:03:30,047 --> 01:03:34,487
creative in these special ways, but
Dy- and how to tell a story, but Dylan

1913
01:03:34,487 --> 01:03:37,917
knew how to do a documentary, which
is the hardest genre, I think, in

1914
01:03:37,917 --> 01:03:38,297
filmmaking

1915
01:03:38,297 --> 01:03:38,367
to do.

1916
01:03:38,367 --> 01:03:40,137
Well- It's tough ... I think,
yeah, the collective- Yeah.

1917
01:03:40,137 --> 01:03:41,937
The collective- It's pretty awesome
... y'all did amazing ... are pretty awesome.

1918
01:03:41,967 --> 01:03:42,297
Yeah.

1919
01:03:42,457 --> 01:03:42,817
Yeah, yeah.

1920
01:03:43,067 --> 01:03:43,477
All right.

1921
01:03:43,477 --> 01:03:43,577
Yeah.

1922
01:03:43,577 --> 01:03:46,987
Well, before we close out, I wanna
give- Yeah ... each of you a real

1923
01:03:46,987 --> 01:03:50,847
moment to kinda plug what you got going
on, the film, your other projects,

1924
01:03:50,847 --> 01:03:52,857
where to follow, what's coming up.

1925
01:03:53,137 --> 01:03:54,317
The floor is yours.

1926
01:03:54,317 --> 01:03:55,527
Dylan, I'm gonna start with you.

1927
01:03:55,917 --> 01:03:56,547
Yeah, absolutely.

1928
01:03:56,597 --> 01:03:59,137
Uh, so if you would like to see
anything that I've made, even the

1929
01:03:59,137 --> 01:04:05,023
episode where I, uh, went for a
week to interview Kama and Urvashi.

1930
01:04:05,383 --> 01:04:08,353
That I went for a week to interview Kama
and Urvashi for a show called You Do You.

1931
01:04:08,353 --> 01:04:10,983
It's the, it's the way that
our friendship got even closer.

1932
01:04:11,683 --> 01:04:15,653
Um- Okay ... uh, you can
go to allthebirdsllc.com.

1933
01:04:16,563 --> 01:04:19,033
Um, that's where literally all my work is.

1934
01:04:19,033 --> 01:04:20,253
You can see Vcard there.

1935
01:04:20,483 --> 01:04:23,053
You can of course follow links
to go to More Than Monogamy.

1936
01:04:23,053 --> 01:04:26,993
But more than anything, the big
plug, please go watch our movie.

1937
01:04:27,293 --> 01:04:30,263
This is a movie made by
three independent filmmakers.

1938
01:04:30,263 --> 01:04:30,523
Film makers.

1939
01:04:30,553 --> 01:04:32,293
We made it with three people.

1940
01:04:32,603 --> 01:04:34,193
Like I ca- I cannot stress this enough.

1941
01:04:34,253 --> 01:04:36,283
This movie was made with three people.

1942
01:04:36,723 --> 01:04:41,003
So if you want to support independent
cinema, you wanna support the lifestyle,

1943
01:04:41,003 --> 01:04:46,423
you wanna support people who genuinely
care about making something that we wanted

1944
01:04:46,423 --> 01:04:49,403
to bring to the community for the good of
the community and for the good of people

1945
01:04:49,663 --> 01:04:54,323
wanting to join our community, please go
to morethanmonogamy.com and buy our movie.

1946
01:04:54,863 --> 01:04:55,463
Please do that.

1947
01:04:55,533 --> 01:04:56,243
It's 10 bucks.

1948
01:04:56,243 --> 01:04:56,713
Yes.

1949
01:04:56,713 --> 01:04:57,423
Heck yeah.

1950
01:04:57,613 --> 01:04:57,953
There you

1951
01:04:57,953 --> 01:04:58,523
go.

1952
01:04:58,613 --> 01:04:58,903
Heck yeah.

1953
01:04:58,973 --> 01:04:59,743
For sure.

1954
01:04:59,783 --> 01:04:59,943
Yeah.

1955
01:04:59,943 --> 01:05:02,493
And, uh, Urvashi and
Kama, what you got for us?

1956
01:05:02,993 --> 01:05:06,393
I would like to actually pass this over
to Kama on that part, 'cause I think he'd

1957
01:05:06,393 --> 01:05:09,703
be really great at explaining like where
we're at, what we're doing, and where

1958
01:05:09,703 --> 01:05:11,223
to find us and that sort of stuff too.

1959
01:05:11,953 --> 01:05:12,303
Oh, okay.

1960
01:05:12,333 --> 01:05:15,103
Uh, well, I'm gonna reiterate,
you know, obviously our main

1961
01:05:15,103 --> 01:05:16,883
push right now is with this film.

1962
01:05:17,073 --> 01:05:21,955
And so, you know, More Than Monogamy has,
has literally taken us five years of our

1963
01:05:21,955 --> 01:05:24,135
life, and, you know, it was a lot of work.

1964
01:05:24,245 --> 01:05:27,725
And it's such a great accomplishment
to be able to, to share it.

1965
01:05:27,785 --> 01:05:30,175
And we really think it has longevity too.

1966
01:05:30,355 --> 01:05:30,565
You know?

1967
01:05:30,565 --> 01:05:30,725
Mm-hmm.

1968
01:05:30,725 --> 01:05:34,445
There's nothing in it that it's gonna
go out of date in three months or six

1969
01:05:34,445 --> 01:05:35,985
months or a year or anything like that.

1970
01:05:35,985 --> 01:05:40,855
And so our hope is, is that people,
you know, watch it, share it, and, uh,

1971
01:05:40,945 --> 01:05:42,825
enjoy watching it, you know, for years.

1972
01:05:43,275 --> 01:05:47,645
Um, as far as the rest of us,
um, you know, Urvashi and I, you

1973
01:05:47,645 --> 01:05:51,355
know, have, have been on a bit of
a hiatus from, from Spark Erotic.

1974
01:05:51,605 --> 01:05:55,575
Um, and we're, we're trying to wind
ourselves up to say, "Okay, how are we

1975
01:05:55,575 --> 01:05:59,715
gonna jump back in?" We've got a film
that we are completely edited that

1976
01:05:59,885 --> 01:06:02,295
needs to be released, um, called Bound.

1977
01:06:02,775 --> 01:06:05,985
Um, we have another film that
we're editing, um, called Buzzed.

1978
01:06:06,245 --> 01:06:10,375
Um, which just to tease a little
bit is about a, one of those

1979
01:06:10,375 --> 01:06:15,285
remote control vibrators that,
uh, somebody loses the remote for.

1980
01:06:15,285 --> 01:06:15,325
A

1981
01:06:15,325 --> 01:06:16,055
couple could use.

1982
01:06:16,085 --> 01:06:16,115
Oh

1983
01:06:16,115 --> 01:06:17,065
my goodness,

1984
01:06:17,065 --> 01:06:17,625
that's so awesome.

1985
01:06:17,625 --> 01:06:17,895
At a pa-

1986
01:06:18,015 --> 01:06:18,905
at, at a party.

1987
01:06:18,905 --> 01:06:22,115
At a party, and so everybody's picking
up remotes- At a party and then

1988
01:06:22,115 --> 01:06:25,065
people keep picking up the remote, not
knowing what it is ... to change the

1989
01:06:25,065 --> 01:06:26,505
stereo, change the lights or whatever.

1990
01:06:26,505 --> 01:06:28,805
And having a effect on,
on our leading lady.

1991
01:06:28,855 --> 01:06:30,885
Um, and so we're in the
process of- Sounds like fun.

1992
01:06:31,205 --> 01:06:32,995
We're in the process of editing that film.

1993
01:06:33,395 --> 01:06:37,075
Um, all of our previews are available
at sparkerotic.com if you wanna go

1994
01:06:37,075 --> 01:06:38,955
there and see the nature of our films.

1995
01:06:38,985 --> 01:06:40,785
Um, they're kind of all over the place.

1996
01:06:41,145 --> 01:06:44,615
Um, we don't make the same film
every time, and we've got some really

1997
01:06:44,615 --> 01:06:48,615
creative ones, including one that, in
black and white, um, that is a- Hmm

1998
01:06:48,615 --> 01:06:50,495
public service announcement
done in kind of- Oh, that one

1999
01:06:50,495 --> 01:06:50,895
was so

2000
01:06:50,895 --> 01:06:53,525
much fun ... the old '50s style
public service announcement.

2001
01:06:53,525 --> 01:06:53,645
Yeah.

2002
01:06:53,645 --> 01:06:56,275
That, that won CineKink
Audience Choice one year.

2003
01:06:56,765 --> 01:07:00,325
Um, and remains one of our favorites
just 'cause it's so unique.

2004
01:07:00,465 --> 01:07:00,825
Um,

2005
01:07:01,205 --> 01:07:01,265
but-

2006
01:07:01,265 --> 01:07:01,575
Yes.

2007
01:07:01,875 --> 01:07:02,145
It's

2008
01:07:02,145 --> 01:07:02,625
so unique- But

2009
01:07:02,625 --> 01:07:03,015
yeah ... and so

2010
01:07:03,015 --> 01:07:03,715
much fun, that one ... you know.

2011
01:07:03,715 --> 01:07:08,645
Um, if you wanna see our photography,
our photography i- is at urvashiseye.com,

2012
01:07:08,845 --> 01:07:13,215
and that has all of our, um,
still photography that we shoot.

2013
01:07:13,575 --> 01:07:15,135
And so you'll be able to see that as well.

2014
01:07:15,135 --> 01:07:19,085
So sparkerotic.com, urvashiseye.com,
morethanmonogamy.com.

2015
01:07:19,205 --> 01:07:19,245
Yeah.

2016
01:07:19,245 --> 01:07:22,845
We'll actually have clickable links,
uh, every handle that was mentioned,

2017
01:07:23,205 --> 01:07:27,355
uh- Oh, yay ... as well as, uh, i-
if, if you got a, if you... I think

2018
01:07:27,355 --> 01:07:28,895
you sent me the trailer to the movie.

2019
01:07:28,895 --> 01:07:29,185
Is that right?

2020
01:07:29,215 --> 01:07:29,895
Oh, we've updated the website.

2021
01:07:29,895 --> 01:07:30,065
As well.

2022
01:07:30,095 --> 01:07:33,495
If you are interested, we have the
first 12 minutes of the film- Yes

2023
01:07:33,755 --> 01:07:34,945
available to watch.

2024
01:07:35,365 --> 01:07:37,385
Like, we want you to get on board, right?

2025
01:07:37,385 --> 01:07:40,265
Like, if you've watched the first 12
minutes, you still feel invested, please.

2026
01:07:40,555 --> 01:07:42,805
No hard sell, but it gets better.

2027
01:07:43,105 --> 01:07:44,565
It gets even better from the first one.

2028
01:07:44,605 --> 01:07:45,055
Oh, my, yeah.

2029
01:07:45,085 --> 01:07:45,295
Yeah.

2030
01:07:45,325 --> 01:07:45,625
Yes.

2031
01:07:45,665 --> 01:07:46,165
Okay.

2032
01:07:46,165 --> 01:07:46,445
Well-

2033
01:07:46,795 --> 01:07:47,175
Purchase the

2034
01:07:47,175 --> 01:07:47,695
film ... yeah.

2035
01:07:47,785 --> 01:07:48,335
Please, $10.

2036
01:07:48,335 --> 01:07:51,345
So we're, we're gonna have all of
that available in our show notes- Yes

2037
01:07:51,485 --> 01:07:53,445
that, uh, our listeners can find there.

2038
01:07:53,825 --> 01:07:57,685
Dylan, Urvashi, and Kama,
sincerely thank you very much.

2039
01:07:57,685 --> 01:08:00,405
This is exactly the kinda
conversation our community needed

2040
01:08:00,405 --> 01:08:03,885
to hear, and we're grateful to...
You brought it all to our table.

2041
01:08:03,945 --> 01:08:04,775
Yeah, so grateful.

2042
01:08:04,775 --> 01:08:07,285
And you guys, go watch More Than Monogamy.

2043
01:08:07,615 --> 01:08:10,885
We're gonna have all the
links, and it's amazing.

2044
01:08:11,055 --> 01:08:11,805
Like, I'm not gonna lie to you.

2045
01:08:11,805 --> 01:08:13,125
You know I get bored easily.

2046
01:08:13,175 --> 01:08:14,685
I did not get bored one minute in this.

2047
01:08:14,685 --> 01:08:15,485
ADHD, that's right.

2048
01:08:15,485 --> 01:08:16,065
Yes.

2049
01:08:16,295 --> 01:08:16,725
Yes.

2050
01:08:16,805 --> 01:08:17,895
So yeah, it was great.

2051
01:08:18,325 --> 01:08:18,565
Yeah.

2052
01:08:18,995 --> 01:08:22,355
Uh, thank you guys for tuning in to
another episode of Beyond Monogamy.

2053
01:08:22,355 --> 01:08:26,625
Now, while you're out there,
stop by www.beyond-monogamy.com.

2054
01:08:26,955 --> 01:08:31,145
Every episode that we've ever dropped,
video clips, guest bios, our blog, our

2055
01:08:31,145 --> 01:08:35,025
merch, our full events calendar, all
sitting right there waiting for you.

2056
01:08:35,135 --> 01:08:37,325
And of course, the Beyond
Monogamy Confessional.

2057
01:08:37,325 --> 01:08:38,385
It's fully anonymous.

2058
01:08:38,385 --> 01:08:39,645
We read every single one.

2059
01:08:39,645 --> 01:08:42,495
There's nothing too out there for us.

2060
01:08:42,495 --> 01:08:44,405
So trust me, we've seen
it, we've heard it all.

2061
01:08:44,405 --> 01:08:44,615
Hell yeah.

2062
01:08:44,615 --> 01:08:47,105
Whatever's on your mind about the
lifestyle, whatever question you

2063
01:08:47,105 --> 01:08:51,025
have you're afraid to say out loud,
drop it in beyond-monogamy.com.

2064
01:08:51,115 --> 01:08:51,705
That's right.

2065
01:08:52,125 --> 01:08:54,575
And if you love what we do,
hit that subscribe button on

2066
01:08:54,575 --> 01:08:57,825
Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube,
wherever you're listening.

2067
01:08:58,265 --> 01:09:00,985
Leave a five-star review because
you know we're awesome, and

2068
01:09:00,985 --> 01:09:03,765
share that episode because you
know somebody needs to hear it.

2069
01:09:03,975 --> 01:09:04,365
Yes.

2070
01:09:04,365 --> 01:09:05,245
Specifically this one.

2071
01:09:05,445 --> 01:09:05,965
Yes.

2072
01:09:06,015 --> 01:09:09,895
And you can also catch us streaming
over at fullswapradio.com.

2073
01:09:09,895 --> 01:09:14,485
We do two shows every Thursday, 2:00
PM and 7:00 PM Central, right there

2074
01:09:14,485 --> 01:09:18,145
on the channel, along with a fun
lineup of other adult podcasters.

2075
01:09:18,145 --> 01:09:19,045
So come hang out with us.

2076
01:09:19,335 --> 01:09:19,635
Yeah.

2077
01:09:19,745 --> 01:09:22,475
And okay, this is the part
that Pris has been waiting for.

2078
01:09:22,715 --> 01:09:23,785
Sweetheart, what's it gonna be?

2079
01:09:24,035 --> 01:09:27,635
We have an event coming up, guys- Yeah,
we do ... on Friday, June 20th at 9:00

2080
01:09:27,635 --> 01:09:30,135
PM in person at Club Eden in San Antonio.

2081
01:09:30,175 --> 01:09:34,385
If you've ever wanted to meet us, hug
us, take a photo, kiss this guy- Consent

2082
01:09:34,385 --> 01:09:36,745
hang out with us in real
life- Consent ... doing what

2083
01:09:36,745 --> 01:09:36,835
we

2084
01:09:36,835 --> 01:09:37,065
do.

2085
01:09:37,065 --> 01:09:37,305
All right.

2086
01:09:37,535 --> 01:09:38,045
I think you've heard.

2087
01:09:38,045 --> 01:09:38,205
That's

2088
01:09:38,205 --> 01:09:38,525
your shot.

2089
01:09:38,735 --> 01:09:39,775
That's consent, baby.

2090
01:09:40,155 --> 01:09:40,325
Consent.

2091
01:09:40,355 --> 01:09:41,045
You gotta ask.

2092
01:09:41,635 --> 01:09:41,875
Yes.

2093
01:09:41,875 --> 01:09:42,015
That's

2094
01:09:42,015 --> 01:09:42,365
right.

2095
01:09:42,765 --> 01:09:45,105
So if you're here in Texas,
in the area, or even within an

2096
01:09:45,155 --> 01:09:46,885
hour or two drive, come out.

2097
01:09:46,925 --> 01:09:48,535
I tell you, it's gonna be worth it.

2098
01:09:48,535 --> 01:09:50,845
Details are on the Events
tab at beyond-monogamy.com.

2099
01:09:51,435 --> 01:09:54,595
But also, heads up, you do
need a membership to the club.

2100
01:09:54,715 --> 01:09:55,725
It's a social club.

2101
01:09:55,765 --> 01:09:57,085
You gotta get the membership.

2102
01:09:57,275 --> 01:09:57,405
Yes.

2103
01:09:57,485 --> 01:09:59,315
So look up Club Eden in San Antonio.

2104
01:09:59,315 --> 01:10:02,435
Hit their website, get your membership
squared away, and come find us.

2105
01:10:02,435 --> 01:10:05,075
Yes, and tell all your hot couple
friends to make a road trip.

2106
01:10:05,245 --> 01:10:06,005
That's right.

2107
01:10:06,555 --> 01:10:09,745
So with that, we really appreciate
everybody listening every single week.

2108
01:10:09,835 --> 01:10:13,295
You guys are the reason that we
do this, the whole community.

2109
01:10:13,575 --> 01:10:16,085
Dylan, Urvashi, Kama, thank you again.

2110
01:10:16,115 --> 01:10:16,175
Yeah.

2111
01:10:16,305 --> 01:10:16,485
Thank you.

2112
01:10:16,525 --> 01:10:17,725
Thank you guys for listening.

2113
01:10:17,755 --> 01:10:18,075
Thank you.

2114
01:10:18,075 --> 01:10:19,985
And we will see you next week.

2115
01:10:20,055 --> 01:10:20,405
Bye.