Newbie Confessional: How to Survive Your First Lifestyle Event as a Couple

0:07 Alright y'all, before we dive in, a quick heads up. This show is raw, real, and definitely not rated pg. We're talking about adult themes, sexual content, and the kind of stuff you probably don't want blasting through your speakers at work or around your kits. So grab some headphones, pour your drink of choice and get comfy. Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not licensed therapists, counselors, or sex. Couches. Sex coaches. Sex coaches, not sex couches or just a couple of people sharing our lives, experiences and sexy adventures. An ethical non-monogamy.

0:47 So with that, pull up a chair and enjoy the show. And. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And on today's quickie, we're talking about something that hits really close to home for us because we were literally this couple, once we got a message from a listener who found us on TikTok, and honestly, it might be one of the best questions we've ever gotten. We're talking about how to prepare as a couple for your first lifestyle event when one of you is super excited, and the other, let's just say cautiously optimistic. Yeah, which in lifestyle terms means she's into it, and she doesn't wanna fully admit that yet. I'm just saying what we're all thinking. Now, before we read this message, everything you need from us lives@beyondmonogamy.com, our episodes, our blogs, our events tab, and our completely anonymous confessional.

1:36 If you've got a story that you need to get off your chest, like this person that we're talking about in this show, if you're on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, drop us a review. It genuinely helps more people find the show. Now, I'm gonna go ahead and read this, all right. As best as I can. Okay? And I'm gonna try and really channel this person, okay? Okay. Go. Here we go. All right. Hello, Adam and Pris. I have been wanting to get into the lifestyle for about three years. This past winter, I finally got the courage to talk to my wife about my kinks and how I feel the lifestyle could provide an opportunity to live out some of those experiences, particularly public sex or others watching us.

2:21 Initially, I was shot down, but I came back to the topic when I felt it was appropriate. I explained how her reaction hurt my feelings, and that opened the conversation again. After some more talking, I finally got it out of her that she was actually fantasizing about very similar scenes. She agreed that maybe a trip to a club or a resort would be fun and sexy, however. There is always a, however, we've been married 20 years, and I'm picking up on some concerns she has about other women or couples. We joined a local organization and set our sights on a Halloween hotel takeover as our first event. She's worried about unwanted attention.

3:02 I, on the other hand, get aroused by other men looking at her, but she mainly wants attention from me. I've reassured her that nobody expects us to play and that anyone who crosses consent lines will get removed. We've been watching porn together to get into the right head space. But what exercises can we do as a couple to ease fears and tension? I want her to be comfortable accepting compliments in front of me because she's dropped dead gorgeous and has the body to match. She listens to the podcast. Thanks to the both of you. You make my workdays fly by. Aw. Thank you for the compliment. Yes, thank you. Appreciate that. Uh, oof. Yeah. So first off, can we just appreciate this man for a second?

3:43 Yeah. Because he didn't pout. No, he didn't pressure her. I was gonna say, um, that's a beautiful thing. 'cause it, I even, I have pouted, he didn't shut down. I've done it. Early on. Yes. Yes. If I didn't get my way, yes. I, I remember very particularly there was somebody that I was interested in and you were like, okay, I'm gonna set it up. And we had an opportunity and it didn't get set up. And I remember just being so upset and I, there was a few times I was like, Ugh. You know, you just don't want me to have my experiences. Yeah. I think and, and I'm glad that he did not come off that way, at least on his letter. Yeah, we, we had a few, a few times where you pouted. We did, yeah. I mean, I didn't, so that was the hard part for me going into this, was that you had already had your, you had already had experiences.

4:28 Granted they were bad experiences, but you had these experiences of which I did not. Mm-hmm. And so anytime I, you know, I had to, I felt like I had to rely on you to set things up. Yeah. Because I was not very confident in doing so, and I didn't really understand the rules of everything. So it was just easier to have you set things up. Yeah. And if you didn't, then I just felt like it was you cock blocking. Yeah. And I'd get upset. Yeah. And I'd be like, God. And I'm glad that, I mean, I'm, I'm kind of happy that he came out and he did not. Like he told her, he mentioned it once, and then he said that he came out her, or he came and they talked again. And explained Yeah, you the fact that, that his feelings were hurt.

5:08 That his feelings were hurt. Yeah. I thought that was really cool because, you know, that means that they have a really good communication, which is already key. That is key to the lifestyle. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You can't do it without, and she was already fantasizing about the same things. Uh, you know, I thought that was pretty cool. True. You know? True. You know, that's, that's kind of a, that's a win. Yeah. That's definitely a win because it's like, okay, we're talking about this and we're on the same page. You've been thinking about this too. Yeah. So this is something that we can explore together, you know? Especially after 20 years. Yeah. Yeah. That's a So, hmm. I can't answer. I don't know what kind of woman she is. So I understand, and I'm just gonna give you my opinion or my, my stance on this.

5:52 I understand the, you're saying, you said that in your letter that she, or your email that she has some standoffish, or not standoffish, but has some concerns. She has concerns about women and couples and, and the, and the boundary breaking and that sort of thing. So, usually unknown lady, let me tell you, usually men will not make advances towards you in the lifestyle unless they have seen you open to that. I, we have tons of friends in the lifestyle and. It's a very rare occasion where a man makes an advance towards me, and I've been in this lifestyle for 15 years.

6:36 Let's not forget all of the other things that have come up. So yeah, it hasn't, there hasn't been a whole lot of men that have broken boundaries. There's women with you. There have been women. Women, yeah. That and that is, that is the thing. And I, it's definitely worth talking about. And is your, and I wonder, is her concern? So for me, my concern was I don't really like a lot of men, so I didn't want them coming at me. And I really think a lot of women are shady sometimes. So that's, that, those were my concerns. For us, I have not had either of those two things. Women, shady women do not approach us. And that's just the way, I don't know what it is. We have that magnet or that demagnetizing thing that Yeah.

7:16 I think shady women, we, we come off very open and honest. Yeah. And very genuine. And I feel like shady people tend to stay away from, stay away, very honest people because we'll call you out. But that was my fear, you know, my fear was shady women. Yeah. And that's just justice. Going back to the poly thing, and even still, you, you have still mentioned. Mm-hmm. Like, I, I trust you. I just don't trust the women that are around. Yeah. And I don't. Right. But I, I trust him that he is going to put a stop to whatever happens. And couples, I mean, you get your own vibe. So what I think you should do is maybe go to a few events. Like meet and greets. Yeah. You mean a, a few, uh, kind of like vanilla setting events.

7:57 Yeah. So like stuff that they hold in bars and things like that where you don't have to worry about playing, you don't have to worry about somebody really making a move on you because it's in a vanilla setting. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, although it does happen to our, in our groups of friends, but I mean, I think it could happen anywhere really. It can. I think that's a really good, y'all's communication seems to be on point. You know, the concerns about, about boundaries and other people, violating those boundaries. I mean, let's be real. It's. It will happen. Mm-hmm. I mean, it has happened to anybody who has ever even attempted to be in this lifestyle for a year or more. You will run across it.

8:38 Yes. And, and some people don't even realize, but it does happen. It does. Uh, and it's not always on purpose. Yeah. Uh, sometimes the communication is poor and things are misread. Maybe somebody got a little too sauced and they, their inhibitions went way too low. Yeah. Now, that to me is not the greatest of excuse, but I understand it. You know, like I said, we've had not so many issues with men. No. Crossing crossing the lines, but more so women. Mm-hmm. And women crossing the lines with me and women crossing the lines with her. Yeah. It ha it happens. Well, they're not cross, they're crossing the lines. Not Do they cross the lines with you? You like to get curse? Well, they used to.

9:19 Oh, okay. They used to, as far as you were concerned? As far as I was concerned. ' cause they were doing it without consent. Yeah. I dug it and Yeah. I didn't have a problem with it. Yeah. But you did. Yes. You know what I'm saying? So technically it was still crossing a boundary Right. For one of us. Yeah. But where they really crossed the boundaries is with you. Yes. Like e everybody seems to think, well not everybody, but a lot of people seem to think that you're just fair game, right. Because you're a bisexual woman. Yeah. And, and there's only really a handful of women that I'm okay with them at any point coming and touching me. Like it's, that's a, but I make that very clear to them. So I would, I would definitely try to, our community has a lot of like events.

10:01 Mm-hmm. They have meet and greets of vanilla places. Yeah. They also have like bingos, stuff like that. So find yourself an area or a place that you can at least go and meet potential friends and, you know, you get to know them, you'll feel their vibe. You'll get to see how they act in a vanilla setting because Yeah. You know, when you're lifestylers act a way different in vanilla than they do. They can, they can, my thing is, is if you're new to that community and say you go to a meet and greet or something. Mm-hmm. Make at least one friend. Yeah. Make at least one friend hold onto them, talk to them. Yeah. Learn about them and maybe plan on seeing seeing each other at the next event.

10:41 It is, you know, that sort of thing. And y'all can meet people together. Yes. Yeah. It's. It's nerve wracking. I do not get anxiety anymore, but I do remember when we would go to greet the different Meet, meet and greet. Greet, or even when we first started and we had, we went to like the house parties, right? And we didn't know a lot of people like you did from Facebook or whatever, but I wasn't really involved in a lot of those conversations until like, and I really didn't know a lot of these people very well. Yeah. And we kind of just jumped in. And so it is, it is nerve wracking. So definitely we should have done meet and greets. I don't even know if there was any back then. There were, we just weren't. We weren't very privy.

11:22 Privy to them. Like we wouldn't really pay attention to 'em. Yeah. We weren't in the same circles very much. Yeah. You know, I know when we first got started, my, my big complaint was nobody invites us to stuff. Yes. We don't ever get invited to stuff. Yes. And that's a thing that you'll notice. Yeah. A lot of people will invite people that they know. Right? Yes. So how do you get invited to stuff? And it kind of is disheartening because it's like, ugh, we used to have a lot of fomo. Yeah, yeah. We used to have a lot of fomo. Then we started realizing, okay, you know, what is, it is best to know the people that you invite. Yeah. So then you have to kind of inch your way into that door. Yeah. And get to know people little bit by little bit. And as they get to know you, they're like, Hey, why don't you friend me on Facebook?

12:04 Yeah. Hey, let's, let's have a text conversation. Oh, by the way, we're throwing a house party in two weeks. You guys should come. And then before you know it, you're at the house party. You meet five other people who throw house parties and, and then you're getting around. Yeah. And you know, you can make some really good friends that have the same interests as you. So it doesn't always have to be lifestyle. Now. What caught me off guard was that they're looking for their very first event. Yeah. And their very first event is gonna be a hotel takeover. My goodness, man. Y'all got some That's so, I, I'm not gonna say it's a bad idea, but it's the equivalent of jumping off into the deep end of the pool. Yeah. When you don't know how to swim Yes. In hopes that you're just gonna float and you'll be okay.

12:46 That's, Yeah. That's why I'm saying like, you have until October, it's a Halloween party. Yeah. So you have all this time to try and get yourself out there. Right. Now the only reason why hotel takeovers are, are a bit, I wouldn't say advanced, but a bit shakier than, than most things to start off with is because you know, it's a, there's a lot happening. It's a lot happening. And as a new person, you're gonna feel compelled to have to take part in every single thing. But. If you go in with the mentality of I'm not gonna play with anybody. Mm-hmm. We have a hotel room to ourselves. Mm-hmm. This is us doing this together. We're gonna scope things out, we're gonna do things as we talk about them. Yeah. Well then you're 20 steps ahead of the game and you're gonna be just fine.

13:29 Um, but wait, what did you say you're compelled to play with them? Or what did you say? You're consultant. Yeah. So like, as a new person going into a big event, like a hotel takeover, you feel like you have to take part in certain events. You feel like maybe there's gonna be more pressure at certain events to do certain things, to keep up with everybody. You know what I'm saying? I totally think opposite. What? Yeah. Really. I, I don't, yeah. I don't think No. At all. How, how do you figure, I mean, you go in and people are all over the place and it's very rare that people are playing. This one that we went to last time. Yeah. People were playing, but you just watch and you walk out.

14:11 Yeah. I mean, that's pretty much how they all are. Yeah. But I, it's how the last did you feel, did you ever feel pressure? Like even the first, I always felt pressure to keep up with everybody. Really? Absolutely. Wow. Wow. 100%. I never, every single time we've been at a hotel takeover, I have felt horrible at the fact that I didn't play with anybody. As a matter of fact, this last time I didn't feel bad about that at all because we got around. Yeah. But the ones before that, no, we didn't. No. And I, I was very much like, wow, this was an unsuccessful takeover. Oh, you see? Opposite. I thought it was very successful because we didn't. Well see, that's why I'm voicing that is that Yeah, you don't have to feel that way. It's different. No, and she's right.

14:52 Yeah. You don't have to feel that way. Yeah. You know, that's, but the way I felt is the way most people who are new feel, they feel the pressures of having to keep up with everybody else. If they're all in the pool and everybody's wearing their swimsuits and then all of a sudden everybody starts taking off their swimsuits, you gotta know that you're okay. You don't have to do it. Yes. If you don't want to. Yes. You know, that sort of thing. Go in with that mentality. You don't have to play with anybody. You don't owe anybody an explanation. A high and a bye is perfectly fine. And since you guys are so good with your communication as is mm-hmm. I really don't feel like it would be too much of a problem as long as you pre prepared ahead of time.

15:33 Yeah. Uh, you know, watch all of our hotel takeover shows and, and absorb that content. And I guarantee you, you guys are gonna be set. Yeah. It's, I mean, it's, it's a, it's very, it's a lot of fun. But that's a big jump. It is. You know, I mean, it can, you know, just, you have a hotel room. The first, the second one we went to, we had a hotel room and we stayed in the hotel room the whole time. We did, we did, we did our show. We stayed in the hotel. That was our little getaway. Yeah. Um, but you have a lot of different opportunities to try different things. But I would say grab some friends. Try to find out, try to see if you can, like, break into that community a little more and see the people that you're supposed to see at that, how it's all takeover beforehand.

16:17 Now I will say, you know, on the plus side, the hotel takeover, if you go to it. You will be immersed Yes. In your community after that. Yes. Because if you talk to everybody, forget playing. If you just talk to everybody and you make those contacts, by the time you leave there, I guarantee you people are gonna be blowing up. Your social medias going, Hey, we saw you there and mm-hmm. You know, let's, let's be friends. You know, it's gonna happen. Yeah. Because there's a comradery that's established during that whole weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Yeah. It's not like gonna the club. Yeah. No, it's nothing like going to the club. Yeah. Yeah. So the only thing, he also mentioned that she doesn't really care for.

17:02 Compliments. Compliments, yeah. Same. Yeah. I am barely getting used to compliments. It took me a while just because, eh. Sometimes I don't think they're sincere, and I just think, oh, you're just telling me I'm pretty and hot. 'cause you wanna get in my pants. That's just my thoughts. Well, so I never thought, but that's plan compliments coming to me, were sincere. Yeah. I just always thought that they were being nice so that they could get into your pants. Yeah. But I mean, that's not the case. It's, it, it, I've, I've finally realized just the same as I'm sure you have that not everybody's giving you a line. No, not everybody has given you a line. Yeah. And what are we here for? We're here for sex. Yeah.

17:42 They're trying to get in my pants, but I do feel the compliments. I am now a little bit more accepting of the compliments. I understand what you mean is that you'd rather just have 'em from your husband, but if you're smoking hot, you're gonna get compliments and you just take 'em. Just be like, okay, thank you. Just because they give you a compliment. Doesn't necessarily mean they wanna get in your pants. You know, it, it, it is good advice in trying to learn how to take a compliment Yes. In just, in just a passive way. Yes. In just, uh, thanks. You go get them. So that was something that I had to learn how to do because I've never been complimented before. Yeah. And then when we got into this this whole circle here, this community you know, we started getting a lot of compliments and me particularly, I was getting a lot of compliments and I didn't know how to take it.

18:30 I felt like I was so awkward. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, so then I just learned to anytime I got a compliment to just smile and go, Hey, thanks. Yeah. That's really nice. Yeah. And then just move on. Yeah. You know, and like, it sounds simple, but I mean, it really, it's not that simple sometimes. Yeah. Also, when it's a couple, one of y'all always will be a little louder than the other. One of them. One always stands out more. One is always the more looser of the bunch of the couple possibly. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and that's, that can be a little, that can be a little hard because one of y'all's gonna disappear.

19:13 Not disappearing, like really, but one of y'all just gonna be like behind, like for us, right In the beginning you were more talkative. Yeah. You would. And I was kind of just be behind you. You were always just behind me. Yeah. I don't, I was a social butterfly. I was doing, I would talk, yeah. I was a social butterfly at one point, and then Adam became an introvert and I had to stay home and then I became an introvert and then yeah, I had drug her down and so we, we opposites. Now I'm starting to get better at, at opening up and being more talkative. But yeah, I just kind of felt, well really since the podcast, so before the podcast. Wanna to anybody. She always felt like she didn't have an identity. She was just here kind of behind me. Yes. I was always Adam's behind me. Yeah. I was always Adam's wife. And then when we started the podcast, I was like, look dude, you are an individual and you need to let people know about you.

20:00 Yeah. And you need to be able to have conversations with people individually without me. And now forget it. Yeah. Center stage. I'm a little butterfly. So center stage over here. Yeah. Uh, pushing me off the, off to the side. Hi. I'll push you off to the side. Realize you wanna watch. Then i.one of these days is just gonna be beyond monogamy with Pris and the guy who carries, I would it beyond monogamy was pri It doesn't have a good ring. That's not a good ring. No, you're right. I would not even put that name. Okay, good. You know, I think, um, another, another good, a little bit of advice is before you go to events, have a really deep conversation on what your.

20:41 Expectations are because they're not gonna happen. Yeah. You know, that's a really good point. Well like, just talk about 'em, you know, Hey, I saw so and so. Put, get your rules and your boundaries set. Like, know what you want. Talk about, about what your goals are like. So what's the goal of this whole event? Like, what are we wanting to get? What are we wanting to have when we leave? Yeah. Do we wanna walk out with at least knowing two people? Maybe we set up a dinner. Are we gonna get naked in front of people? Like what's Yes. What's the furthest we're willing to go sexually? Yeah. Like how, what do we feel comfortable with? Yeah. Is that gonna be something in the moment? Yeah. Oh, also. Safe work. Safe work, apparently. Yeah. Safe work. Yes. Make sure you got that.

21:21 And another, some good advice, or not just a little tidbit. Consent is huge. Yes. Huge, huge in the lifestyle. And that's why I say it's a very rare thing that someone approaches me in, like unwanted, touching consent. If someone touches you, you just tell them, excuse me stop your husband's there with you, so don't be too scared. Like it's a really, it's a fun environment to just let loose and be like, wow, I've never had my tits out. At the pool. Yeah. Yeah. You know, or I've never been fully naked in front of 50 people. And I mean, let's understand what hesitation really is. Hesitation is a lack of feeling safe.

22:02 It is, yes. If, if you're not gonna feel safe, then you're gonna hesitate on what you want to do. Yes. So this is really where husbands need to listen very well. Mm-hmm. Because if your partner is hesitating and, and, and you can tell by the look on their face that they look uncomfortable and you can feel certain ways, like my guy here who's been, they've been together 20 years. Yeah. They've been married 20 years. You know her. Yes. If there's any hesitation, don't push it. You know what I mean? Just really make sure and establish that safety because without it mm-hmm. You won't be able to go any further. Yeah. So continue that safety. Take it little baby steps, further and further if you can. That's a really good, that's a, that's a really good thing.

22:44 Also. Painter scenarios, you know, like, Hey, we're going to the club tonight. Yeah. So and so might be there. Do we wanna do a full swap? What's, what are we looking at? Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't mean it's gonna happen, but at least I'm, he's preparing me and I'm preparing him. We've, we've driven to a meet and greet and during the drive she's looked at me and gone, okay, so, so and so's gonna be there. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't make out with her. Yes. Okay. Yes. You got it. Um, you know, I mean, it's, it the problem is, is that we can't read each other's minds. No. And y'all have the same problem, I'm sure. Yeah. So the only way to get rid of that is to fully communicate. Mm-hmm. Communicate like every single thing you can think about, if so-and-so's giving you a hug if what if they go in for a kiss?

23:30 Are y'all okay with kissing? Yeah. Um, friend, get your voice. Say the no, say no thank you. Don't be intimidated by the men. Don't be intimidated by the women. It is easier said than done. It is very much easier said than done. But because I struggled with all of this, I am a very territorial, jealous person. I was super, super insecure. Um, I only wanted my husband to touch me. I only wanted him around when I was in the mood, lifestyle events and things would happen. But yeah, it's, it is easier said than done, but that voice, you know, that voice, you're gonna need it that friend. Trust your voice.

24:11 Yeah. You're gonna, that voice, you know, also, uh, practice receiving compliments. I know I said that earlier. Mm-hmm. That's a big one because it's, uh, you as a woman are going to receive a lot, tons of compliments from both men and women. Yeah. So, my job as the husband I always felt like was to funnel compliments towards you. I get a ton of compliments about you, and my thing is Yeah, I know exactly what I have. Like, she's incredible. Mm-hmm. Um, to me, people are going to give you compliments while I'm just gonna be louder with my compliments. You know what I mean? Yeah. And any uncomfortableness that you have around people giving you compliments, I'm right there next to you going Yes, I know, right?

24:51 Isn't she amazing? And then before you know it, she's just taking compliments from me. So husbands, you can always be step up your game, you know, be the, be the, the blocker. For your, your spouse. And you know what? I was just thinking Start slow. Y'all are there at the hotel takeover, y'all can start making out. Yeah. There's little things you can do to make it hot and heavy. Yeah. And really you guys can just be into each other mm-hmm. With the background Yeah. Of all the sexiness, like, that's, that's what we did oftentimes. Like sometimes we would go to house parties and we didn't wanna play with anybody and we just were into each other. And we went to a room and we had our fun, you know, and, and that was the case a lot of times. There is, yeah. You know what I do?

25:32 I do a lot of tunnel vision. So someone says, man, you just walk around. You walk out and you're like all super confident. I'm tunnel visioned. I am, I walk out of bath, the bathroom in my lingerie or whatever, and I'm just like looking straight. I'll smile and then I'll just look straight at where Adam is and I can just see him. And so I'm just walking towards him and I'm usually staring at him. Yeah. And so that's makes it super comfortable. But I get how you feel. I get, I understand even without your husband delving into the what exactly is bothering you. I understand it all. It's a very hard, it's a hard place to feel comfortable until you've done it a few times after that, it gets super easy after you make your your group of friends.

26:24 It's super easy. And it could just be one couple, one couple that y'all really vibe with, it, it gets easier and it's so much fun. Even just, it can be, yeah, just being with, with my husband at places is knowing that it's a, it's a swinger place, you know? It's a lifestyle place. Yeah. It's very hot. Yeah. Well, you know, and, and just a quick message to my husbands out there. It's hard. It's hard when you're new in the lifestyle mm-hmm. And you go in as a couple, it is hard on the ego, it's hard on the psyche, uh, because you go in thinking, holy shit, I'm gonna be able to have all this fun and all these women are gonna want me, et cetera, et cetera. And then you realize this is a very woman centric Yes.

27:07 Lifestyle. Yeah. And everybody loves the woman and usually the husbands are kind of tossed off to the side. And this is what I tell a lot of the guys, uh, in my groups, is. It's perception. Mm-hmm. Uh, for many years I perceived it as, nobody wants to talk to me, they just want my wife. And it was very sour and I didn't enjoy it. But then once I realized, hey, we're all after the same thing here, uh, which is to have sex with women. Yeah. Um, so obviously they're gonna be after my wife. That kind of takes the pressure off. Yeah. You know what I mean? You don't feel like you have to be this performing monkey. You can just be yourself. And I noticed when I started re relaxing and being myself, that's when I really started getting attention on my own.

27:53 Mm-hmm. So it, it really is just kind of figuring out what the game is and going along with it. Yeah, yeah. But don't lose confidence. Don't lose it. It's, don't let it hit you. It's gonna be perfectly fine. Take little baby steps, keep that communication going. Talk about every feeling. Talk about every scenario. Yeah. Go out to a bar, wear something a little bit, sexy. A regular bar. Y'all two go out and let everybody stare. Get used to the idea that people are staring at you. Yes. Yeah. And that's something that I had to tell my wife for many years. 'cause she used to get upset. Oh man. She would, she would walk out of the house looking frigging hot, and then she would be at the grocery store and she would be ready to punch somebody out because they're staring at her chest.

28:37 And I'm like, yo, they're just tits. It's it's, it's a thing like, yeah, you look frigging smoking hot. You're dressed the way you are, you're at the grocery store. What do you think is gonna happen? Yeah. People are gonna look. Now if they come up to you and they touch you, well that's a whole different story, but people are going to admire what they find attractive. Yes. And it's an absolute high compliment. It's just a compliment. It's, yeah. Yeah. So that's, I don't know. That's how I feel about all that I think. I think we hit a lot of nails in the head. I think we hit a lot of nails. Yeah, that's right. I think so. Yeah. And that's the quickie. So if this one hit home for you, share it with whomever. Whomever you think, send it to a couple who needs to hear it. You might literally change the direction of their relationship.

29:20 Oh, that's right. I like that. And if you haven't already, follow us wherever you listen, leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcast and subscribe. So you never miss an episode. It takes 30 seconds and it genuinely means everything to us. Everything. Yes. And head over to www.beyondmonogamy.com. Every episode, every video clip, our blog, upcoming events, merch. And our 100% anonymous confessional are all right there. If you want to hang out with us, we are on full swap radio.com every Thursday, two shows, 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central. Come get into it with us in real time.

30:02 And we have a Live Beyond Monogamy event coming up, and we want you there June 20th at Club Eden, San Antonio. We will be there. Come meet us. Come hang out with us. Yeah, we're gonna, there you can meet the community and it's going to be the best night. All details are gonna be on our event tab that created Yeah it's a, uh, it's an event that's currently in the process of being built, but we figured. You can mark your calendars now. Yes. So the details 20th will be coming out more as we go along, but June 20th Club, eat in San Antonio, 9:00 PM Be there or be Be Square an orangutan. With that, we appreciate you guys hanging out with us as always, and we will see you guys next week.

30:45 Bye.