When Your Body Says Yes But Your Agreement Said No — Listener Q&A

1
00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:07,887
All right, y'all.

2
00:00:08,347 --> 00:00:10,607
Before we dive in, a quick heads-up

3
00:00:11,107 --> 00:00:13,887
This show is raw, real,
and definitely not rated PG

4
00:00:14,867 --> 00:00:19,588
We're talking about adult themes,
sexual content, and the kinda stuff you

5
00:00:19,668 --> 00:00:23,768
probably don't want blasting through
your speakers at work or around your kids

6
00:00:24,588 --> 00:00:28,607
So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice, and get comfy

7
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:33,168
Oh, and just so we're clear,
we are not licensed therapists,

8
00:00:33,248 --> 00:00:36,047
counselors, or sex couches.

9
00:00:36,887 --> 00:00:37,967
Sex coaches.

10
00:00:38,268 --> 00:00:39,047
Sex coaches

11
00:00:39,128 --> 00:00:40,187
Not sex couches

12
00:00:40,687 --> 00:00:44,006
We're just a couple of people sharing
our lives, experiences, and sexy

13
00:00:44,106 --> 00:00:46,807
adventures in ethical non-monogamy.

14
00:00:47,266 --> 00:00:51,128
So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show

15
00:00:51,878 --> 00:00:54,358
and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

16
00:00:54,598 --> 00:00:55,037
I'm Adam.

17
00:00:55,278 --> 00:00:58,388
And I'm Pris, and on today's quickie,
we're talking about something that I

18
00:00:58,398 --> 00:01:02,938
think a lot of people in the lifestyle
have experienced, but y'all are too

19
00:01:02,998 --> 00:01:04,918
afraid to admit it, and that's okay.

20
00:01:05,038 --> 00:01:05,048
Yes.

21
00:01:05,048 --> 00:01:08,248
What happens when you're in the
middle of an intense moment and

22
00:01:08,358 --> 00:01:13,438
things go further than what you and
your partner agreed to beforehand?

23
00:01:14,258 --> 00:01:14,478
Yeah.

24
00:01:14,538 --> 00:01:18,678
We got a voicemail on our website
from a listener named Zoya, and she

25
00:01:18,758 --> 00:01:22,858
laid it out so honestly that we knew
we had to address it right away.

26
00:01:22,938 --> 00:01:24,548
Like- Yeah … I, I
couldn't waste any time.

27
00:01:24,578 --> 00:01:24,758
Yeah.

28
00:01:25,098 --> 00:01:27,398
Uh, this isn't a fringe situation.

29
00:01:27,418 --> 00:01:27,428
Mm-mm.

30
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:28,198
This is real.

31
00:01:28,258 --> 00:01:28,318
Mm-hmm.

32
00:01:28,418 --> 00:01:32,358
It happens, and there's a lot that,
uh, you can actually do about it.

33
00:01:32,518 --> 00:01:32,778
Yes.

34
00:01:33,338 --> 00:01:36,738
And if you have a question you've
been sitting on, something you

35
00:01:36,818 --> 00:01:40,838
can't, like, Google or ChatGPT,
something you're afraid to ask your

36
00:01:40,898 --> 00:01:44,698
friends, go to beyond-monogamy.com
and leave us a voicemail.

37
00:01:44,958 --> 00:01:46,398
It might become the next episode.

38
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:47,338
That's right.

39
00:01:47,738 --> 00:01:48,778
All right, let's get into it.

40
00:01:49,278 --> 00:01:50,018
Let's do this.

41
00:01:50,518 --> 00:01:54,168
So we got this voicemail from a
listener named Zoya, and we're

42
00:01:54,178 --> 00:01:55,528
gonna play it for you right now

43
00:01:56,258 --> 00:01:56,498
Hi.

44
00:01:57,058 --> 00:01:57,858
My name is Zoya.

45
00:01:58,478 --> 00:02:03,318
Um, I'm relatively new to the
lifestyle and to your podcast,

46
00:02:03,778 --> 00:02:05,639
so I found it very interesting.

47
00:02:06,479 --> 00:02:13,578
Um, I keep hoping that my personal problem
will come up, and it hasn't exactly.

48
00:02:13,638 --> 00:02:19,339
So basically, an issue that my partner
and I are having is that we're really good

49
00:02:19,358 --> 00:02:26,278
at discussing things before being around
other folks and having an experience.

50
00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:31,338
But then what's happening for me is that
when I'm in the middle of interacting

51
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:40,939
with someone and everything is really
hot and, and I'm just really, um, wrapped

52
00:02:41,018 --> 00:02:48,338
up in the experience, I find that things
that we discussed ahead of time were not

53
00:02:48,398 --> 00:02:57,218
gonna be on the table suddenly, um, seem
to be, like, happening in the moment.

54
00:02:57,338 --> 00:03:04,578
And I have been really bad at sort of
knowing how to navigate those things.

55
00:03:04,778 --> 00:03:13,558
I just kind of go ahead and do things
that we haven't discussed, and I

56
00:03:13,638 --> 00:03:18,638
feel really terrible because I know
that it's like breaking a boundary.

57
00:03:19,197 --> 00:03:24,317
It's like damaging trust between
us, and I don't-- in the moment,

58
00:03:24,377 --> 00:03:27,137
I'm not even thinking about that.

59
00:03:27,177 --> 00:03:32,577
It's like I lose my ability
to make good decisions or even

60
00:03:32,617 --> 00:03:36,597
know that it's a decision I
should be making in that moment.

61
00:03:36,677 --> 00:03:40,297
So I'm just wondering, is there--
do you have any tips on how to

62
00:03:40,337 --> 00:03:44,877
navigate those sort of intense moments
where you're not sure what to do?

63
00:03:45,377 --> 00:03:45,717
Hmm.

64
00:03:46,077 --> 00:03:51,377
Well, Zoya, thank you, because that took
a hell of a lot of guts to say out loud.

65
00:03:51,577 --> 00:03:51,887
Oh, yeah.

66
00:03:51,987 --> 00:03:52,017
So thank you.

67
00:03:52,017 --> 00:03:54,857
It's, it's hard to just
internalize that conversation-

68
00:03:55,097 --> 00:03:55,317
Yeah

69
00:03:55,397 --> 00:03:58,637
…
uh, much less say it out
loud, uh, on, on a voicemail.

70
00:03:58,697 --> 00:03:59,017
Yes.

71
00:03:59,077 --> 00:04:00,917
Uh, I just wanna name
something right away.

72
00:04:01,017 --> 00:04:05,057
Zoya is not describing someone who
doesn't care about her partner.

73
00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:05,077
Okay.

74
00:04:05,097 --> 00:04:06,817
That's very important to note here.

75
00:04:06,887 --> 00:04:06,897
Yes.

76
00:04:06,937 --> 00:04:11,397
She's describing someone who cares
a lot and is confused about why her

77
00:04:11,437 --> 00:04:13,437
behavior isn't matching her intentions.

78
00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:13,797
Yeah.

79
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,177
She's genuinely confused.

80
00:04:15,217 --> 00:04:15,477
Yeah,

81
00:04:15,507 --> 00:04:15,517
yeah.

82
00:04:15,557 --> 00:04:19,957
Like, that was, that, that was very
vulnerable of her to say, you know?

83
00:04:20,517 --> 00:04:20,757
Yeah.

84
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:21,417
Yeah.

85
00:04:21,597 --> 00:04:23,997
So, uh, what are your thoughts on that,

86
00:04:24,077 --> 00:04:24,087
honey?

87
00:04:24,137 --> 00:04:26,157
Ooh, Zoya girl.

88
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,937
Um, I'm gonna be real with you, okay?

89
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,907
There is… There's two sides, right?

90
00:04:32,017 --> 00:04:39,286
Because I totally understand when
inhibitions, want, lust take over.

91
00:04:39,966 --> 00:04:40,246
Do you?

92
00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:41,966
I understand it.

93
00:04:42,726 --> 00:04:43,846
I understand it.

94
00:04:44,186 --> 00:04:45,646
'
Cause that's more of a me thing.

95
00:04:46,226 --> 00:04:48,626
Well, no, I'm saying,
like, I understand it.

96
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:48,926
Like-

97
00:04:49,426 --> 00:04:51,446
No, I mean, like, for it to happen to me.

98
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,566
Like, out of the two of us-

99
00:04:53,706 --> 00:04:53,886
Yeah

100
00:04:54,346 --> 00:05:00,166
…
I, I would understand what this person is
saying because I, I can relate to that.

101
00:05:00,206 --> 00:05:00,326
Like-

102
00:05:00,446 --> 00:05:01,676
Because you lose inhibitions-

103
00:05:01,766 --> 00:05:02,176
In, in the moment

104
00:05:02,206 --> 00:05:02,726
in the moment.

105
00:05:02,746 --> 00:05:03,046
That's what I'm

106
00:05:03,106 --> 00:05:03,246
saying.

107
00:05:03,366 --> 00:05:03,786
Yeah Yeah, in the moment.

108
00:05:03,976 --> 00:05:03,986
Yeah.

109
00:05:04,006 --> 00:05:06,506
So that's why- I totally get it … I,
so Zoya, we, we are the two different.

110
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:06,566
Yeah.

111
00:05:06,566 --> 00:05:11,046
Because I, um, and I'm not saying that
you don't, but I… And I've said this

112
00:05:11,066 --> 00:05:18,606
to Adam, I always have Adam in the
front of my thoughts, every single time.

113
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:26,186
Nobody can envelop my emotions
that much to take me elsewhere

114
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:29,386
and me not think about, um, Adam.

115
00:05:29,786 --> 00:05:30,306
That's me.

116
00:05:30,886 --> 00:05:32,286
That's the way my brain works.

117
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,946
That's, that's not everybody.

118
00:05:35,086 --> 00:05:38,786
That's me, very jealous,
very insecure person.

119
00:05:39,286 --> 00:05:42,066
You know, um, uh, that's
what's going through my head.

120
00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:43,366
So it's like, yeah, no.

121
00:05:43,466 --> 00:05:44,946
Um, so I'm the opposite.

122
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,576
Um, so Adam is-

123
00:05:47,646 --> 00:05:49,406
But she does have more
understanding to it.

124
00:05:49,486 --> 00:05:51,386
That sounds more like a me problem.

125
00:05:51,426 --> 00:05:51,506
Mm-hmm.

126
00:05:51,606 --> 00:05:55,306
Um, and that was something that I
had to really deal with early on.

127
00:05:55,386 --> 00:05:55,446
Yeah.

128
00:05:55,456 --> 00:06:01,116
Because, uh, e- especially if you're
new to it, um, if… You know, for me

129
00:06:01,266 --> 00:06:06,166
it's, it's more of a, it takes me back
to when I was younger, you know, I was

130
00:06:06,226 --> 00:06:11,786
a teenager, or in my early 20s, and
it's that you, you're just starting

131
00:06:11,866 --> 00:06:15,566
to date somebody and things are
getting sexual and it's hot and heavy.

132
00:06:15,586 --> 00:06:15,596
Yeah.

133
00:06:15,596 --> 00:06:17,986
And it's that intense moment of-

134
00:06:18,066 --> 00:06:18,206
Yeah

135
00:06:18,226 --> 00:06:21,066
…
this is actually gonna
fucking happen, holy shit.

136
00:06:21,086 --> 00:06:21,096
It's

137
00:06:21,106 --> 00:06:21,226
like,

138
00:06:21,686 --> 00:06:24,626
um- Um, and so it's easy to
just kinda drop everything and

139
00:06:24,686 --> 00:06:26,426
not think about anything else.

140
00:06:26,466 --> 00:06:26,506
Yeah.

141
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,706
It's, it's like new relationship energy.

142
00:06:28,746 --> 00:06:30,466
You're, you're in that moment, right?

143
00:06:30,796 --> 00:06:31,506
It's the same.

144
00:06:31,586 --> 00:06:34,206
It's like new dick
energy, new pussy energy.

145
00:06:34,506 --> 00:06:34,526
I

146
00:06:34,646 --> 00:06:35,486
call it horny brain.

147
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:36,476
Or horny brain.

148
00:06:36,536 --> 00:06:36,546
Yeah.

149
00:06:36,566 --> 00:06:37,746
Like, it's either of that.

150
00:06:37,786 --> 00:06:39,146
Like, it's, it is what it is.

151
00:06:39,226 --> 00:06:46,056
Now, I understand it when my partner
doesn't know that that's a boundary I

152
00:06:46,096 --> 00:06:49,856
don't… I, I, like, that's something
that's gonna cause something with us.

153
00:06:50,316 --> 00:06:52,216
Like, he doesn't know.

154
00:06:52,336 --> 00:06:57,125
Um, and I understand that for my partner.

155
00:06:57,996 --> 00:07:02,476
Um, I think everybody's relationship
is different, but… And I'm not

156
00:07:02,516 --> 00:07:09,116
saying you don't care about your s-
partner, but- I think if you knew

157
00:07:09,176 --> 00:07:11,897
that was a boundary, that boundary
should be at the front forefront

158
00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:15,058
Well, so that's the hard part is-
And if- … you know, if you're

159
00:07:15,097 --> 00:07:16,857
getting in, if you're in the moment-

160
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:17,418
And you

161
00:07:17,557 --> 00:07:17,878
don't know

162
00:07:17,878 --> 00:07:20,178
and you're still, and you're still
new to this, so you- Yeah … you're

163
00:07:20,197 --> 00:07:24,777
more or less going for the experiences
and less for the connection of it.

164
00:07:24,918 --> 00:07:25,098
Yeah.

165
00:07:25,477 --> 00:07:31,477
Um, if that's the case, then all
you're seeing is the moment, the heat,

166
00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:34,437
the everything enveloped with it.

167
00:07:34,657 --> 00:07:35,057
Yes.

168
00:07:35,258 --> 00:07:38,457
But you're not thinking about, oh,
what does my spouse think about this?

169
00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:42,617
Because that would take
you stepping out of that-

170
00:07:43,317 --> 00:07:43,477
Which

171
00:07:43,598 --> 00:07:48,617
I can do … thorny area and looking back
and thinking of something other than that.

172
00:07:48,657 --> 00:07:48,697
Yeah.

173
00:07:48,717 --> 00:07:49,258
You know what I'm saying?

174
00:07:49,377 --> 00:07:50,078
So which- So that's really hard to

175
00:07:50,098 --> 00:07:53,137
do … which, which I can do, but
it, it's hard for other people.

176
00:07:53,137 --> 00:07:53,157
It's

177
00:07:53,197 --> 00:07:54,217
not, yeah, not everybody

178
00:07:54,337 --> 00:07:54,657
can.

179
00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:55,078
It's not e- yeah.

180
00:07:55,117 --> 00:07:55,438
Um-

181
00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:59,177
Uh, it, it, and so for me, it's
taken a lot to, to get to that point

182
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,477
because that's the way I used to be.

183
00:08:00,497 --> 00:08:03,697
Um- Yeah, but if you don't know,
like for instance, say you do have a

184
00:08:03,758 --> 00:08:06,997
boundary, Zoya, that you did not know,
like you didn't know that that was gonna

185
00:08:07,078 --> 00:08:10,597
cause… Like I did something and I
didn't know that was gonna cause Adam

186
00:08:10,637 --> 00:08:17,057
to feel insignificant or, you know,
whatever, um, any negative feeling.

187
00:08:17,118 --> 00:08:22,178
I like, you know, maybe Maybe somebody,
you know, kissed me a little harder and

188
00:08:22,258 --> 00:08:25,018
he saw that or, you know, or something.

189
00:08:25,118 --> 00:08:29,488
I, I said something to somebody and it
triggered him and it was something that

190
00:08:29,538 --> 00:08:31,438
he didn't, he didn't like the way it sat.

191
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:37,228
And that's, that… If he didn't know
that, I'm understanding of him up- getting

192
00:08:37,298 --> 00:08:38,678
upset about it because he didn't know.

193
00:08:39,278 --> 00:08:42,158
You know, he didn't know he didn't want
me to use those words or- Yeah … do

194
00:08:42,198 --> 00:08:44,518
that, do that, do that thing I do.

195
00:08:44,618 --> 00:08:46,538
Um, he's not really like that.

196
00:08:47,038 --> 00:08:51,987
I am the one who is like, "Uh,
excuse me? You said what?" Yeah.

197
00:08:52,007 --> 00:08:53,157
"You did what?"

198
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,677
Yeah, there's certain things
that trigger you a bit

199
00:08:55,746 --> 00:08:55,756
more.

200
00:08:55,756 --> 00:08:56,537
That trigger me.

201
00:08:56,737 --> 00:09:00,987
Um, and that's just very the con-
that's very the insecure, I'm

202
00:09:01,077 --> 00:09:04,097
less than feeling that I have.

203
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:07,037
See, that's where- So … it's
always difficult for us because

204
00:09:07,057 --> 00:09:08,117
we're on two different planes.

205
00:09:08,197 --> 00:09:08,317
Yes.

206
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:11,837
And for me, this lifestyle- Mm-hmm
… should be about, um, I don't know,

207
00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:14,777
experiencing more of the yes than the no.

208
00:09:14,917 --> 00:09:15,217
Yes.

209
00:09:15,437 --> 00:09:19,397
Um, it- it's- Yeah … it's like
absolutely let's try that experience.

210
00:09:19,497 --> 00:09:20,077
Let's do this.

211
00:09:20,197 --> 00:09:20,227
Yeah.

212
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:20,717
Let's do that.

213
00:09:21,077 --> 00:09:21,117
Um-

214
00:09:21,137 --> 00:09:22,857
Not really looking at a boundary- Right

215
00:09:22,877 --> 00:09:26,517
because, because it's, it's an
open, it's an open situation.

216
00:09:26,597 --> 00:09:26,817
Right.

217
00:09:27,077 --> 00:09:27,117
Yeah.

218
00:09:27,197 --> 00:09:27,377
Right.

219
00:09:27,557 --> 00:09:33,237
And, and, uh, y- you're on a different
plane- Yes … in that you're looking

220
00:09:33,317 --> 00:09:38,877
to more or less satisfy a need for
yourself, not necessarily a need,

221
00:09:38,957 --> 00:09:43,597
but you wanna be satisfied- A want,
yeah … i- in, in, in this different way.

222
00:09:43,697 --> 00:09:43,957
Yeah.

223
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:48,097
And experiencing some of these
other stuff, you may like if

224
00:09:48,137 --> 00:09:49,527
you really were interested, but-

225
00:09:49,877 --> 00:09:49,997
Yeah

226
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,357
that's not what you're here for.

227
00:09:51,417 --> 00:09:54,477
And so we, w- both you and I are
here for, like, different things.

228
00:09:54,657 --> 00:09:55,377
We are.

229
00:09:55,457 --> 00:10:01,737
And I, sometimes I wanna pull him back
and sometimes he wants to push me forward.

230
00:10:02,277 --> 00:10:02,327
Yeah.

231
00:10:02,377 --> 00:10:02,457
So

232
00:10:03,157 --> 00:10:04,177
it's- Yeah, it's, it's, it's

233
00:10:04,197 --> 00:10:06,307
really- It's a lot of,
a lot of give and take

234
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:09,057
and- You know … tug of war … you
have to kinda take the, um, the

235
00:10:09,117 --> 00:10:10,997
same pace as the slowest person.

236
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:14,637
Y- yeah, and that's- Yeah … I mean,
I'm, I'm catching up, I'm getting there,

237
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:18,737
and I think it's just because, because of
people like you that bring up questions

238
00:10:18,757 --> 00:10:23,817
like this that make us question our
relationship dynamic sometimes, and

239
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:30,067
we're like, "Okay." Um, so I mean, if
you… I feel like maybe- Leave it open.

240
00:10:30,127 --> 00:10:34,787
Like, y'all two can talk and be
like, "Look, we don't, we don't know

241
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:38,247
if, you, you know, we don't like
this until it happens, and we got,

242
00:10:38,307 --> 00:10:39,647
we gotta give each other a break."

243
00:10:39,927 --> 00:10:42,747
I mean, you have to or you're
never gonna grow from that.

244
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,287
It's always gonna stay stagnant.

245
00:10:44,327 --> 00:10:46,367
It's always gonna stay in
that one little moment.

246
00:10:46,487 --> 00:10:51,567
Um, so I say give yourself a little
bit of a break in s- in the sense

247
00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:53,967
of don't be so hard on yourself.

248
00:10:54,207 --> 00:10:55,347
It's, it's okay.

249
00:10:56,127 --> 00:10:56,327
Um-

250
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,167
And you know what?

251
00:10:57,247 --> 00:11:02,947
Uh, one thing just for my sake, uh,
one thing that I ended up doing was my

252
00:11:03,007 --> 00:11:06,587
wife knows that I struggle with this.

253
00:11:06,937 --> 00:11:06,947
Yes.

254
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:10,427
So she knows that I am
not as good at saying no-

255
00:11:10,727 --> 00:11:11,007
Mm-hmm

256
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:14,887
…
uh, in certain situations- Mm-hmm
… especially, uh, sexual situations.

257
00:11:15,427 --> 00:11:20,277
And so she'll talk to me beforehand,
and I'll, I'll tell her, "Look, you

258
00:11:20,307 --> 00:11:24,687
know, if you see, you know, me reaching
this level- Mm-hmm … or if you see

259
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:29,547
this or that, just keep an eye out for
me, and if you need to, come step in."

260
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:34,827
Uh, because it's easier for her
to come in and go, "Hey, honey,

261
00:11:34,947 --> 00:11:37,027
I need you over here," and then
I have an out, and it's like-

262
00:11:37,147 --> 00:11:38,767
Yeah … "Okay, uh, sorry, I gotta go.

263
00:11:38,807 --> 00:11:39,707
My wife's calling me."

264
00:11:39,747 --> 00:11:39,907
Yeah.

265
00:11:39,987 --> 00:11:46,147
Um, so I know maybe in the moment
it, it's hard for you to say no,

266
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,427
and, you know, things will happen.

267
00:11:48,447 --> 00:11:52,247
But if you have maybe an agreement between
you and your spouse, and your spouse knows

268
00:11:52,267 --> 00:11:56,927
that this is an issue for you, that there
should be a way for you to look at them or

269
00:11:57,027 --> 00:11:59,717
get their attention and have them step in-

270
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:00,107
Yeah

271
00:12:00,247 --> 00:12:04,907
so that you're not the one saying no,
so you don't feel bad in, in, you know,

272
00:12:05,147 --> 00:12:06,807
chopping off somebody's good time.

273
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:07,207
Yeah.

274
00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:10,327
And you can basically say, "I'm
sorry, but my husband needs me," and,

275
00:12:10,367 --> 00:12:12,027
and, and that's your out, you know?

276
00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:12,567
And,

277
00:12:12,627 --> 00:12:13,777
um- That's a way to do it

278
00:12:13,787 --> 00:12:15,207
…
that's a really good way to do it.

279
00:12:15,407 --> 00:12:22,247
Um, and also if y'all are all playing, say
y'all are all in the in the room, right?

280
00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:26,326
And you're doing, w- say you're
having a full swap, right?

281
00:12:26,966 --> 00:12:30,226
And your husband, like I hope
your husband listens to this,

282
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,006
it's okay for you to step in.

283
00:12:33,606 --> 00:12:37,247
It's okay for, if you see something
in the moment and you don't like it,

284
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:43,606
it's okay for you to, you know, figure
out a way to get to your partner to,

285
00:12:43,766 --> 00:12:45,947
like, take control of the situation.

286
00:12:46,286 --> 00:12:48,466
Yeah, it took a lot of-
Like … conversations for us to

287
00:12:48,566 --> 00:12:49,036
reach that point with each other.

288
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:53,207
It, it did because I know if I don't
like him saying something, I ha- we,

289
00:12:53,286 --> 00:12:57,006
he has been full in penetration to
somebody else, said something, and I

290
00:12:57,047 --> 00:12:59,246
looked at him like I was gonna kill him
and I was like, "What did you just say?"

291
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:00,326
I have.

292
00:13:00,387 --> 00:13:00,626
True.

293
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:03,666
Um, and we've been there- True … in the
bed, I'm like, "Excuse me, no, you don't

294
00:13:03,726 --> 00:13:06,046
use those words." And it's, it's b- why?

295
00:13:06,066 --> 00:13:07,106
Because it's just me.

296
00:13:07,146 --> 00:13:07,726
That's just me.

297
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:12,346
And it didn't turn into something
big because he knew where I was

298
00:13:12,406 --> 00:13:17,966
coming from, and it may sound, like,
ridiculous to him, he knows me.

299
00:13:18,946 --> 00:13:19,326
Yeah.

300
00:13:19,486 --> 00:13:19,846
You know?

301
00:13:19,906 --> 00:13:19,946
Yeah.

302
00:13:20,246 --> 00:13:24,547
So I hope that y'all are, I hope both of
y'all are listening and I hope that y'all

303
00:13:24,626 --> 00:13:28,726
understand to, one, give yourselves a
little bit of a, a little bit of a break.

304
00:13:28,826 --> 00:13:31,866
Um, figure out If you
don't want X to happen-

305
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,486
The conversations, the hypotheticals.

306
00:13:34,506 --> 00:13:34,687
Yes.

307
00:13:34,826 --> 00:13:35,156
Have, you have to.

308
00:13:35,156 --> 00:13:37,626
Uh, see and that's where we've
always had it good is that- Yes

309
00:13:37,646 --> 00:13:42,107
I am, I am an over thinker and I
am always with the hypothetical.

310
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:42,206
Yes.

311
00:13:42,246 --> 00:13:44,666
So any time we're in the car for
more than 10 minutes I'm asking

312
00:13:44,687 --> 00:13:46,846
her, "So what would you do if,

313
00:13:47,366 --> 00:13:49,827
uh- Yeah … this happened?" And
believe me, a lot of the times

314
00:13:49,866 --> 00:13:51,466
were negatives or like, "Uh, no.

315
00:13:51,487 --> 00:13:52,227
That's not gonna happen.

316
00:13:52,446 --> 00:13:52,906
Uh, no.

317
00:13:52,946 --> 00:13:53,666
That's not gonna happen."

318
00:13:53,727 --> 00:13:53,866
Yeah.

319
00:13:54,227 --> 00:13:55,346
And it was a lot of that.

320
00:13:55,466 --> 00:13:57,666
Um, I'm, I'm nicer now.

321
00:13:57,806 --> 00:13:58,606
Things do happen.

322
00:13:58,966 --> 00:14:02,726
And, you know, a lot changes when you h-
come up with a hypothetical- Yes … and

323
00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:06,067
it's one thing, but then when it actually
happens and you're in the moment, then

324
00:14:06,107 --> 00:14:07,646
it's something completely different.

325
00:14:07,686 --> 00:14:07,986
Mm-hmm.

326
00:14:08,326 --> 00:14:11,206
Uh, you know, that's what
those conversations cover.

327
00:14:11,646 --> 00:14:14,546
Uh, you have those conversations
fully with your, with your partner-

328
00:14:14,747 --> 00:14:15,686
Yeah … as much as possible.

329
00:14:16,186 --> 00:14:20,186
Uh, let them know that this is
something that you very much

330
00:14:20,286 --> 00:14:22,146
don't want to have happen.

331
00:14:22,186 --> 00:14:25,067
Like you, you need some assistance there.

332
00:14:25,166 --> 00:14:25,427
Yeah.

333
00:14:25,486 --> 00:14:26,806
Because you guys are a team.

334
00:14:27,206 --> 00:14:31,606
Uh- Yeah … you guys are in this together
and if you're in this together, there's

335
00:14:31,646 --> 00:14:35,126
nothing wrong with r- uh, you know,
having your spouse run a little defense.

336
00:14:35,147 --> 00:14:39,126
Like I said, I'm a very weak-ass person
when it comes to certain things, so- He

337
00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:39,266
is-

338
00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:39,786
…
we had- … the pussy

339
00:14:39,827 --> 00:14:40,586
makes him weak.

340
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:41,326
Yeah, it does.

341
00:14:41,346 --> 00:14:41,506
It

342
00:14:41,526 --> 00:14:41,886
does.

343
00:14:41,946 --> 00:14:46,467
And so if the, if I know for a fact
that, okay, yeah, so and so, I know

344
00:14:46,526 --> 00:14:50,566
I don't wanna play with this person
or w- uh, so and so, yeah, I, I, I

345
00:14:50,607 --> 00:14:53,287
know they're gonna come onto me and I
know I'm not gonna be able to say no.

346
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:58,526
Uh, you know, so they know ahead of
time and y- you know, as soon as she

347
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,806
sees something going on she'll step
in and she'll go- Yeah … "Hey."

348
00:15:01,106 --> 00:15:02,247
And, and it won't be anything rude.

349
00:15:02,286 --> 00:15:02,846
It'll just be like-

350
00:15:02,946 --> 00:15:03,026
Yeah

351
00:15:03,046 --> 00:15:03,746
… "
Hey, I'm sorry.

352
00:15:03,786 --> 00:15:04,926
I, I just need you right quick.

353
00:15:04,966 --> 00:15:08,186
We need to talk," and then once
you're gone, that's your out and

354
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:09,626
then it's like, "Okay, yeah, no.

355
00:15:09,666 --> 00:15:10,146
I'm sorry.

356
00:15:10,166 --> 00:15:12,766
We're, we're gonna have to stop
there for tonight," or whatever.

357
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:13,006
Yeah.

358
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:19,327
Um, because in the beginning, uh,
when I was going for experiences- You

359
00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:21,207
were not in the forefront of my head-

360
00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:21,477
Sorry.

361
00:15:21,527 --> 00:15:21,667
No

362
00:15:21,707 --> 00:15:23,627
…
uh, for a lot of- No … a lot of that.

363
00:15:23,707 --> 00:15:23,717
No.

364
00:15:23,727 --> 00:15:27,747
Because I was interested in gaining
these experiences, I was interested in,

365
00:15:27,807 --> 00:15:31,347
in seeing what this was like and this
person- And that, those were arguments

366
00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:31,707
and that person.

367
00:15:31,767 --> 00:15:32,227
Oh, they were.

368
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:32,847
They were arguments.

369
00:15:32,877 --> 00:15:32,897
They were.

370
00:15:32,907 --> 00:15:36,007
I was like, "Why am I not?" And h- And
he would tell me, "Well, because I'm

371
00:15:36,047 --> 00:15:41,527
trying to experience this for me." And
it took a lot of me trying to express

372
00:15:41,587 --> 00:15:46,907
to him what I was trying to say, and
now, I think now we're on the same page.

373
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:47,587
Like, we understand each other.

374
00:15:47,597 --> 00:15:47,607
And,

375
00:15:47,607 --> 00:15:54,707
well, so now I have her in the forefront
of my head for a good portion of stuff.

376
00:15:54,907 --> 00:15:57,067
I know where she lies on a lot of stuff.

377
00:15:57,767 --> 00:15:59,007
Uh, does that mean that-

378
00:15:59,847 --> 00:15:59,947
It

379
00:15:59,987 --> 00:16:00,947
does happen sometimes
… something could happen?

380
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:01,087
No.

381
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:01,307
Yeah.

382
00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:02,367
You know, things happen.

383
00:16:03,047 --> 00:16:09,457
Uh, but for the most part, it's one of
those things where I've… If, if it's

384
00:16:09,547 --> 00:16:13,807
come up in the past and we've had a
discussion about it, an uncomfortable

385
00:16:13,827 --> 00:16:19,167
discussion about it, I've made mental note
of it so that it doesn't come up again.

386
00:16:19,227 --> 00:16:19,667
Yes.

387
00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:27,387
Um, so if, if you guys aren't 100% clear
on the different situations that could

388
00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:33,367
come up and how they should be answered
or how they should go, um, and then

389
00:16:33,407 --> 00:16:36,867
you end up in this gray area where it
happens- Mm-hmm … and you don't know

390
00:16:36,927 --> 00:16:41,987
how this is supposed to go, well, then
you just have to go one way or the other.

391
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,927
And after the- afterwards, you have
a debrief, you talk about it and go,

392
00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:47,786
"Okay, that wasn't a good thing."

393
00:16:47,827 --> 00:16:48,107
Yeah.

394
00:16:48,117 --> 00:16:48,477
"
Roger that." "I

395
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,387
didn't like it."

396
00:16:49,397 --> 00:16:49,877
"
Won't happen

397
00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:53,107
again." You know, a- and both of
y'all have to be understanding to

398
00:16:53,127 --> 00:16:56,497
it bec- and, and come at each other
at a certain way because I've come

399
00:16:56,567 --> 00:17:00,127
at Adam before, like really like,
"No, I don't fucking like that."

400
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:03,487
And of course, the words I'm using are
going to trigger something inside of him

401
00:17:03,527 --> 00:17:04,887
to make it seem like an argument, right?

402
00:17:04,927 --> 00:17:05,477
Yeah, because-

403
00:17:05,887 --> 00:17:06,187
So-

404
00:17:06,237 --> 00:17:08,867
…
I don't like to be told like I'm a child

405
00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:08,977
…
what to do.

406
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:09,286
Yeah.

407
00:17:09,327 --> 00:17:09,467
So-

408
00:17:09,707 --> 00:17:10,987
And so that triggers me.

409
00:17:11,017 --> 00:17:11,027
Yeah.

410
00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:14,107
And that's where we end up, but
we don't attack each other like

411
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:14,127
that

412
00:17:14,507 --> 00:17:14,987
anymore.

413
00:17:15,137 --> 00:17:15,147
No.

414
00:17:15,187 --> 00:17:15,527
No.

415
00:17:15,587 --> 00:17:16,127
That's a lot.

416
00:17:16,347 --> 00:17:17,127
It's taken a while.

417
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:20,167
It, it's taken a while to
learn how to talk about it.

418
00:17:20,187 --> 00:17:23,767
And also, I wanted to let y'all
know, celebrate… I know this was

419
00:17:23,827 --> 00:17:26,447
a bad thing, this was a question
and you, and this was something

420
00:17:26,987 --> 00:17:30,007
that… Or a bad, not bad, but just a
situation that came up for you guys.

421
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:35,787
But while you're in there, celebrate
how much y'all love each other or trust

422
00:17:35,827 --> 00:17:37,707
each other to even do this lifestyle.

423
00:17:38,347 --> 00:17:42,547
Like, I know that things- Yeah … like
this happen, but also celebrate that

424
00:17:42,587 --> 00:17:46,667
y'all are so super strong that you're
here and you can have these conversations.

425
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:51,776
Um, because there's a lot of, you
know, a lot of- people who can't,

426
00:17:51,936 --> 00:17:54,136
who are in the lifestyle who
cannot have these conversations.

427
00:17:54,336 --> 00:17:54,416
Like

428
00:17:54,596 --> 00:17:57,696
Yeah, you know, and that's the
thing about it is if you're new

429
00:17:57,756 --> 00:18:00,076
and you're going for experiences-

430
00:18:00,176 --> 00:18:00,436
Mm-hmm

431
00:18:00,457 --> 00:18:04,576
a lot of us who start out new, we jump
on the first thing that comes out.

432
00:18:04,656 --> 00:18:07,517
But slow, my friend, slow is a superpower.

433
00:18:07,636 --> 00:18:07,937
Slow, yes.

434
00:18:07,976 --> 00:18:12,376
And so if you can really, really
take your time with, if somebody that

435
00:18:12,417 --> 00:18:15,956
you're interested in, you know, don't
let it get to that point where you

436
00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:18,456
can, you know, let boundaries drop.

437
00:18:18,576 --> 00:18:19,796
Build the anticipation.

438
00:18:20,036 --> 00:18:20,296
Yes.

439
00:18:20,436 --> 00:18:22,816
Uh, you know, have a,
have a, have a few meets.

440
00:18:22,876 --> 00:18:27,076
Build up that, that heat with that
sexy flirting and stuff like that.

441
00:18:27,276 --> 00:18:27,436
Yeah.

442
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:33,236
Because, you know, if you rush into a
random experience, it may not be the best.

443
00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:37,556
Uh- That's true … and then, and then
you just, you just got a bad experience.

444
00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:38,816
Yeah.

445
00:18:38,857 --> 00:18:38,936
Yeah.

446
00:18:39,396 --> 00:18:39,476
You know?

447
00:18:39,517 --> 00:18:42,496
And, and, uh, so that's
really, take your time with it.

448
00:18:42,517 --> 00:18:44,076
Like, it, you don't, you don't have to-

449
00:18:44,337 --> 00:18:44,716
Yeah

450
00:18:44,736 --> 00:18:45,736
…
jump into anything.

451
00:18:45,936 --> 00:18:47,776
Because it's gonna, it's gonna be there.

452
00:18:47,976 --> 00:18:48,536
It is gonna be

453
00:18:48,576 --> 00:18:48,616
there.

454
00:18:48,616 --> 00:18:49,556
It's gonna be there.

455
00:18:49,736 --> 00:18:49,796
Yeah.

456
00:18:49,916 --> 00:18:52,736
It's, it's not, it's not, you
know, it's, it's gonna be there.

457
00:18:53,116 --> 00:18:53,677
You got time.

458
00:18:53,976 --> 00:18:54,196
Yeah.

459
00:18:54,337 --> 00:18:57,096
But, you know- … it really comes
down to just talk, talk, talk.

460
00:18:57,196 --> 00:18:58,456
Um, I think

461
00:18:58,677 --> 00:19:00,376
that's- Like, like Adam
said, debrief each other.

462
00:19:00,476 --> 00:19:02,616
Talk about everything.

463
00:19:02,677 --> 00:19:04,116
Give yourself some slack.

464
00:19:04,156 --> 00:19:08,816
Like, I understand repetitive
behavior is not good, and as an

465
00:19:08,936 --> 00:19:10,236
adult you should know better.

466
00:19:11,077 --> 00:19:15,037
But also, give yourself a little bit
of a break that if you didn't know,

467
00:19:15,217 --> 00:19:16,876
it was a boundary, and now you know.

468
00:19:17,776 --> 00:19:19,656
If it happens again Shame on you.

469
00:19:20,036 --> 00:19:20,176
So.

470
00:19:20,676 --> 00:19:23,456
And that's, that's really,
uh, that's a good point there.

471
00:19:23,557 --> 00:19:27,196
You know, I- we are understanding
to each other for mistakes.

472
00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:27,337
Mm-hmm.

473
00:19:27,356 --> 00:19:28,617
I mean, mistakes do happen.

474
00:19:28,696 --> 00:19:31,856
We're human beings, and you have
to give each other slack on that.

475
00:19:32,436 --> 00:19:38,396
Um, but when a mistake happens
and then it's discussed-

476
00:19:38,496 --> 00:19:38,816
Mm-hmm

477
00:19:38,896 --> 00:19:43,797
…
uh, and everybody agrees that
this is a solid boundary and that

478
00:19:43,877 --> 00:19:45,176
mistake shouldn't happen again-

479
00:19:45,377 --> 00:19:45,656
Mm-hmm

480
00:19:45,696 --> 00:19:51,637
uh, if it happens again, then that's kinda
where you gotta take a beat and go, "Okay,

481
00:19:52,137 --> 00:19:56,858
I probably shouldn't be in this- Yeah
… in this area here if that's gonna, you

482
00:19:56,897 --> 00:19:58,297
know, keep pushing the boundaries." Yeah.

483
00:19:58,457 --> 00:20:01,697
Like, uh, just it's like an
alcoholic going to a bar.

484
00:20:01,737 --> 00:20:04,197
It's just, eh, you know,
we don't have to do that.

485
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:05,857
Let's, let's not do that.

486
00:20:06,637 --> 00:20:10,957
Uh, anyways, uh, thank
you Zoya for that one.

487
00:20:10,998 --> 00:20:11,977
We appreciate it.

488
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:12,837
Okay, hold on.

489
00:20:12,877 --> 00:20:16,197
Before we get back into it,
we have to talk about Snoozy.

490
00:20:16,898 --> 00:20:18,958
The love is all you need gummies.

491
00:20:19,097 --> 00:20:19,777
Yes.

492
00:20:20,117 --> 00:20:25,877
So these are THC and CBD intimacy
gummies, and they're not just hype.

493
00:20:26,437 --> 00:20:29,957
They've got maca root
and horny goat weed in

494
00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:30,118
them.

495
00:20:30,137 --> 00:20:30,418
Yeah.

496
00:20:30,957 --> 00:20:33,598
Actual natural aphrodisiacs.

497
00:20:33,717 --> 00:20:34,018
Yeah.

498
00:20:34,598 --> 00:20:39,457
Combined with Delta 9 THC and CBD
to help you relax and get in the

499
00:20:39,577 --> 00:20:41,477
brown chicken, brown cow mood.

500
00:20:42,258 --> 00:20:44,897
They're peach-flavored, vegan lab tested.

501
00:20:45,417 --> 00:20:47,858
Basically, they did everything right.

502
00:20:47,957 --> 00:20:48,137
Yeah.

503
00:20:48,597 --> 00:20:54,358
You just take one about 30 to 45 minutes
before and just let it do its thing.

504
00:20:54,698 --> 00:20:56,337
We'll leave the rest to your imagination.

505
00:20:56,717 --> 00:21:00,297
Given our listeners, you probably
don't need much imagination.

506
00:21:00,358 --> 00:21:00,917
Fair point.

507
00:21:01,377 --> 00:21:02,337
Check out Snoozy.

508
00:21:02,377 --> 00:21:03,917
The link is in the show notes.

509
00:21:04,077 --> 00:21:05,237
You're welcome.

510
00:21:05,377 --> 00:21:06,817
Okay, back to the show

511
00:21:07,278 --> 00:21:10,317
Now, also before we end
this, uh, show here-

512
00:21:10,357 --> 00:21:10,677
Mm-hmm

513
00:21:11,496 --> 00:21:17,377
…
was, uh, one person who reached
out to me, this was on my TikTok.

514
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:23,097
And she says, "I love you and your
wife's messages about lifestyle.

515
00:21:23,898 --> 00:21:30,597
My husband and I are very new to this and
still exploring, but his likes and mine

516
00:21:30,637 --> 00:21:33,217
do not necessarily align all the time.

517
00:21:33,277 --> 00:21:38,037
How can we both participate in
and enjoy this lifestyle, but

518
00:21:38,078 --> 00:21:39,277
we have different interests?"

519
00:21:39,777 --> 00:21:42,537
I think that's almost
everybody in the lifestyle.

520
00:21:43,077 --> 00:21:46,257
I think you get this ha- Yeah … I
think that's a 50/50 on the lifestyle.

521
00:21:46,357 --> 00:21:51,576
Um, couples that, couples that go in
together, one usually likes something

522
00:21:51,656 --> 00:21:52,916
more different than the other.

523
00:21:53,017 --> 00:21:53,256
Um…

524
00:21:53,756 --> 00:21:57,457
You know, y- going into it,
you assume that most couples

525
00:21:57,496 --> 00:21:59,156
are on the exact same level.

526
00:21:59,216 --> 00:21:59,266
Want the same thing.

527
00:21:59,266 --> 00:21:59,697
They do not.

528
00:21:59,836 --> 00:22:04,176
And it seemed like that in
the beginning, um, for us.

529
00:22:04,416 --> 00:22:04,477
Yeah.

530
00:22:04,497 --> 00:22:07,836
Because one of us wouldn't speak up on
certain situations- Yeah … and one of

531
00:22:07,896 --> 00:22:10,137
us would, um, in different situations.

532
00:22:10,137 --> 00:22:10,576
Yeah You know?

533
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:14,076
Um, and I, and then I started
realizing more couples are like that.

534
00:22:14,096 --> 00:22:16,516
They appear like they want just this.

535
00:22:16,637 --> 00:22:16,856
Yeah.

536
00:22:17,096 --> 00:22:20,276
But if they had more
in-depth conversations-

537
00:22:20,836 --> 00:22:21,056
Yeah

538
00:22:21,076 --> 00:22:23,336
…
it would come across it, it's mismatched.

539
00:22:23,436 --> 00:22:24,216
It's mismatched.

540
00:22:24,277 --> 00:22:25,277
It's mismatched.

541
00:22:25,556 --> 00:22:27,676
I mean- It does happen

542
00:22:28,016 --> 00:22:33,576
…
I say, so I am not into BDSM, for example.

543
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:34,816
It's not my thing.

544
00:22:34,876 --> 00:22:38,396
I don't like to see that kind of pain,
and I know it's not all pain, but I just

545
00:22:38,416 --> 00:22:40,096
don't like the whipping parts of it.

546
00:22:40,696 --> 00:22:46,436
Um, but that does not mean that I would
not like to experience that with Adam.

547
00:22:46,956 --> 00:22:48,356
Like, I would love to try it.

548
00:22:48,876 --> 00:22:48,916
Oh.

549
00:22:48,956 --> 00:22:49,656
Um, so

550
00:22:49,916 --> 00:22:50,776
Interesting

551
00:22:50,797 --> 00:22:55,916
So things like that, like, it, you're
not always, um, going to align.

552
00:22:56,656 --> 00:23:01,116
But I feel like you
should at least support.

553
00:23:01,156 --> 00:23:03,836
Like, that's top, like,
support each other.

554
00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:05,576
Um- I'm bisexual.

555
00:23:06,456 --> 00:23:07,516
Adam is not bisexual.

556
00:23:08,306 --> 00:23:08,396
This is true.

557
00:23:08,436 --> 00:23:09,756
You know, we don't share that.

558
00:23:10,496 --> 00:23:12,036
He likes women, we share that.

559
00:23:12,156 --> 00:23:12,636
That is true.

560
00:23:12,746 --> 00:23:14,136
But we don't even like the same women.

561
00:23:14,156 --> 00:23:15,896
We don't even like the same kind of women.

562
00:23:15,926 --> 00:23:15,936
Yeah.

563
00:23:15,956 --> 00:23:20,556
We have different tastes, um,
different likes, different wants.

564
00:23:20,616 --> 00:23:22,456
We are, we are, we are different people.

565
00:23:22,476 --> 00:23:22,796
Yeah.

566
00:23:22,876 --> 00:23:26,466
And that's, that's the funny thing is
you and your partner, y'all have a lot

567
00:23:26,516 --> 00:23:30,906
in common, but as you can see, y'all
probably don't have a lot in common.

568
00:23:30,956 --> 00:23:31,596
Yeah.

569
00:23:31,616 --> 00:23:33,796
And that's really where you get
to know each other, which is kinda

570
00:23:33,976 --> 00:23:37,716
cool in that retrospect, but it
also makes it really difficult.

571
00:23:38,236 --> 00:23:45,516
So you really wanna sit down and explore
both, from both sides w- w- what do I

572
00:23:45,536 --> 00:23:47,206
wanna get out of my experiences here?

573
00:23:47,236 --> 00:23:48,296
Yeah.

574
00:23:48,676 --> 00:23:51,126
W- what are the, the
experiences that I wanna find?

575
00:23:51,716 --> 00:23:56,156
Um, and both of you just be honest
with what you're looking for as a

576
00:23:56,196 --> 00:23:59,156
person, not what are we looking for.

577
00:23:59,176 --> 00:23:59,186
Yeah.

578
00:23:59,216 --> 00:24:00,376
What am I looking for?

579
00:24:00,496 --> 00:24:00,665
And-

580
00:24:00,696 --> 00:24:01,936
What am I hoping for?

581
00:24:02,136 --> 00:24:02,536
Yeah.

582
00:24:02,596 --> 00:24:06,636
And, and with that, um, I
forgot what I was gonna say.

583
00:24:06,856 --> 00:24:07,856
Hell yeah.

584
00:24:07,936 --> 00:24:08,336
I love it.

585
00:24:08,836 --> 00:24:09,916
I know what she's looking for.

586
00:24:10,636 --> 00:24:11,376
Her last thought.

587
00:24:11,876 --> 00:24:12,496
Yeah, you like that?

588
00:24:13,266 --> 00:24:13,776
That's good.

589
00:24:14,396 --> 00:24:14,956
That's good.

590
00:24:15,916 --> 00:24:19,176
Yeah, no, I mean, that's really what
it comes down to though is figuring

591
00:24:19,256 --> 00:24:22,556
out what it is that you're looking
for in this lifestyle journey.

592
00:24:22,616 --> 00:24:26,056
But, you know, are you just
looking for non-monogamy 100%?

593
00:24:26,216 --> 00:24:28,836
Yeah, 'cause I was gonna say, so- Are
you- … I mean, is it a bad thing that

594
00:24:28,876 --> 00:24:30,716
they don't have the same things in common?

595
00:24:30,976 --> 00:24:31,056
Like, like-

596
00:24:31,076 --> 00:24:32,656
No, I don't think so at
all … like the way- It's just

597
00:24:32,736 --> 00:24:34,266
how do you navigate it really.

598
00:24:34,316 --> 00:24:35,276
It's, I mean…

599
00:24:35,776 --> 00:24:37,376
And it just comes down to communicating.

600
00:24:37,456 --> 00:24:38,496
It really does.

601
00:24:38,596 --> 00:24:42,136
And it's, uh, it's the lamest-
God … it's the lamest answer, I know.

602
00:24:42,196 --> 00:24:42,366
Like,

603
00:24:42,556 --> 00:24:45,206
like- I wish I could tell you get on
this app- Like- … and swipe left

604
00:24:45,236 --> 00:24:46,056
and blah, blah, blah

605
00:24:46,096 --> 00:24:47,116
it's that, but it's that easy.

606
00:24:47,156 --> 00:24:47,536
It really is.

607
00:24:47,616 --> 00:24:48,656
It is that easy.

608
00:24:48,676 --> 00:24:51,886
It's, um, it's expressing to your partner.

609
00:24:52,086 --> 00:24:53,686
It's, and it's super uncomfortable.

610
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:54,336
It's that easy,

611
00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:54,486
but

612
00:24:54,526 --> 00:24:55,026
it's not that

613
00:24:55,046 --> 00:24:55,066
easy.

614
00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:56,206
It is so uncomfortable.

615
00:24:56,706 --> 00:25:02,106
But it's like, hey, you know, um- I, I
don't like this, and I know that you do.

616
00:25:02,826 --> 00:25:05,826
I feel like we should figure out
a way to kinda be in the middle of

617
00:25:05,886 --> 00:25:07,406
that and figure it out, you know?

618
00:25:07,646 --> 00:25:13,886
Um, for instance, instance, let
me tell you, I do not wanna s- I

619
00:25:13,906 --> 00:25:15,346
don't wanna do the poly thing again.

620
00:25:15,926 --> 00:25:17,926
Like, it's not… It wasn't for me.

621
00:25:18,146 --> 00:25:19,245
I don't like that title.

622
00:25:19,386 --> 00:25:20,306
I don't like that label.

623
00:25:20,366 --> 00:25:21,886
It's just not a thing for me.

624
00:25:22,786 --> 00:25:25,386
But mister here loves it, right?

625
00:25:25,986 --> 00:25:28,986
So, what I… You know, we had to meet.

626
00:25:29,086 --> 00:25:31,586
I was like, "Okay, fine. We-
we're doing the swinger thing."

627
00:25:31,646 --> 00:25:34,166
He's like, "Well, I really like
the connection. I wanna be, like,

628
00:25:34,286 --> 00:25:35,366
friends with benefits." Yeah,

629
00:25:35,586 --> 00:25:35,846
I was so.

630
00:25:36,176 --> 00:25:41,926
And it's like, "Okay, fine. You're
friends with benefits, whatevs."

631
00:25:42,646 --> 00:25:44,026
I gave that to him, right?

632
00:25:44,206 --> 00:25:47,786
And so that's how… You
have to, like, I don't know.

633
00:25:47,866 --> 00:25:49,106
She gave it to me, guys.

634
00:25:49,596 --> 00:25:49,616
I did.

635
00:25:49,646 --> 00:25:51,026
You have to tug and pull.

636
00:25:51,806 --> 00:25:53,086
Oh, wait, no, it's give and take.

637
00:25:53,166 --> 00:25:54,326
My bad, not tug and pull.

638
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,286
That would be just you taking and taking.

639
00:25:56,886 --> 00:25:57,786
It is tug and pull.

640
00:25:57,886 --> 00:25:59,026
It is tug and pull, yeah.

641
00:25:59,686 --> 00:26:00,926
That was not a Freudian slip.

642
00:26:01,426 --> 00:26:02,746
You know, it is difficult.

643
00:26:02,786 --> 00:26:07,496
You know, and I- It is … I'll tell you,
man, it is, it is hard damn work doing

644
00:26:07,546 --> 00:26:09,106
the lifestyle with this woman sometimes.

645
00:26:09,146 --> 00:26:13,016
Because, um, you know, it's, it's
very easy to say, "Hey, let's-

646
00:26:13,516 --> 00:26:17,086
you should really be free to do
whatever it is you wanna do." No.

647
00:26:17,096 --> 00:26:18,945
"But, bitch, you better
stay your ass home."

648
00:26:18,986 --> 00:26:19,486
That's right.

649
00:26:20,166 --> 00:26:20,826
What the fuck?

650
00:26:20,846 --> 00:26:21,666
That's what, that's what she says to me.

651
00:26:21,706 --> 00:26:22,266
No.

652
00:26:22,566 --> 00:26:23,246
Like, no.

653
00:26:23,746 --> 00:26:25,606
You know- Links in the help
me- … I have a superpower

654
00:26:25,666 --> 00:26:26,416
…
in

655
00:26:26,416 --> 00:26:26,536
my eyes.

656
00:26:26,536 --> 00:26:29,666
And I use it to the point where I
c- don't have to use it anymore.

657
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:31,786
When I'm exhausted of using it.

658
00:26:31,906 --> 00:26:35,666
See, this is… And, and so this
is our form of communication, guys.

659
00:26:36,246 --> 00:26:39,476
Now, we do have… Now, don't
get me wrong, we do have

660
00:26:39,506 --> 00:26:41,106
our serious conversations.

661
00:26:41,166 --> 00:26:43,926
We, we have our serious and
uncomfortable conversations.

662
00:26:43,966 --> 00:26:44,286
We do.

663
00:26:44,306 --> 00:26:48,346
And the funny thing is, is it still sounds
like this- … because this is how we

664
00:26:48,426 --> 00:26:52,146
cope with our nervousness is, is- Scared.

665
00:26:52,146 --> 00:26:56,786
I get very scared of her because she's
gonna kill me, and so I get very comedic.

666
00:26:57,246 --> 00:27:01,725
Because let me tell you something,
somebody laughing is a lot harder to

667
00:27:01,786 --> 00:27:04,165
chase you, and I am not a good runner.

668
00:27:04,366 --> 00:27:06,566
I gotta tell… I, I gotta
make her laugh before I go.

669
00:27:07,066 --> 00:27:09,346
Uh, so that, that takes a lot.

670
00:27:09,466 --> 00:27:09,556
But-

671
00:27:09,875 --> 00:27:11,226
Baby, I would never kill you

672
00:27:11,466 --> 00:27:12,246
…
No, no.

673
00:27:12,296 --> 00:27:12,585
No, you, no.

674
00:27:12,686 --> 00:27:13,165
Never.

675
00:27:13,186 --> 00:27:14,246
Not to my face, no.

676
00:27:14,486 --> 00:27:15,486
I would never.

677
00:27:15,586 --> 00:27:16,216
I wouldn't see it coming.

678
00:27:16,236 --> 00:27:17,605
Guys, I would never.

679
00:27:17,626 --> 00:27:17,666
I

680
00:27:17,676 --> 00:27:18,606
would not see it coming.

681
00:27:19,306 --> 00:27:21,326
I do not look good in the jail cell.

682
00:27:21,366 --> 00:27:24,186
I- I am meant… And I was
telling you this because- Orange

683
00:27:24,226 --> 00:27:24,956
is not the new black

684
00:27:24,986 --> 00:27:29,726
…
I for sure would be caught,
'cause I would be gloating, so.

685
00:27:30,206 --> 00:27:30,746
That's true.

686
00:27:31,286 --> 00:27:31,636
That's true.

687
00:27:31,686 --> 00:27:33,086
So no, I'm not gonna kill him.

688
00:27:33,266 --> 00:27:34,346
I like him.

689
00:27:34,646 --> 00:27:36,226
She'd be dragging me by the leg.

690
00:27:37,086 --> 00:27:38,726
I miss- "I carry with him in my pocket."

691
00:27:39,686 --> 00:27:40,126
Oh my.

692
00:27:41,106 --> 00:27:44,286
I'm interested to just sit here and
make your just, your life miserable.

693
00:27:44,406 --> 00:27:45,086
No way.

694
00:27:45,186 --> 00:27:45,226
But also happy.

695
00:27:45,226 --> 00:27:45,886
Are you kidding me?

696
00:27:45,986 --> 00:27:47,066
You make me very happy.

697
00:27:47,886 --> 00:27:48,746
You make me very happy.

698
00:27:48,846 --> 00:27:49,626
No, I'm serious.

699
00:27:49,686 --> 00:27:49,966
I know.

700
00:27:50,006 --> 00:27:51,575
I'm not, I'm not, I'm
not… Being serious, girl.

701
00:27:51,946 --> 00:27:53,176
You make me very, very happy.

702
00:27:53,536 --> 00:27:54,946
Um, you challenge me-

703
00:27:55,626 --> 00:27:55,786
Yes

704
00:27:55,826 --> 00:27:58,506
…
in ways that I never thought
I would be challenged.

705
00:27:58,646 --> 00:27:59,006
I understand.

706
00:27:59,106 --> 00:28:04,446
Um, and that is- … it's f- it's
a fun way to try and navigate…

707
00:28:04,946 --> 00:28:08,386
It- it's, it's, there's no way…
I mean, dementia runs in my family.

708
00:28:08,456 --> 00:28:12,076
There's no way I'm gonna get early
onset dementia, because the thinking

709
00:28:12,086 --> 00:28:16,836
that I have to do when I have to tell
you something that I wanna express to

710
00:28:16,876 --> 00:28:19,916
you, and it's a lot of tap dancing.

711
00:28:19,976 --> 00:28:21,626
Like- Oh my God … I'm
like Gregory Hines, man.

712
00:28:21,676 --> 00:28:21,796
It

713
00:28:21,876 --> 00:28:22,356
is like-

714
00:28:22,496 --> 00:28:24,216
Ta-tap, ta-tap, ta-tap, ta-tap

715
00:28:24,356 --> 00:28:24,976
…
Tap,

716
00:28:25,236 --> 00:28:26,076
tap, tap, tap, tap.

717
00:28:26,676 --> 00:28:27,056
That's me.

718
00:28:27,496 --> 00:28:31,126
And then you landed on me, and
it's still not a good time.

719
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:31,146
No.

720
00:28:31,876 --> 00:28:32,286
No way.

721
00:28:32,896 --> 00:28:33,206
No way.

722
00:28:33,286 --> 00:28:33,416
It

723
00:28:33,456 --> 00:28:34,296
normally takes- I feel for
you … a couple weeks.

724
00:28:34,296 --> 00:28:36,655
I mean, and that's what I tell
everybody, you have put in the work.

725
00:28:36,786 --> 00:28:36,796
Yeah.

726
00:28:36,816 --> 00:28:38,515
The dude has put in the work.

727
00:28:38,596 --> 00:28:40,376
I mean, I gotta give it to him.

728
00:28:40,456 --> 00:28:42,036
He deserves a gold star.

729
00:28:42,776 --> 00:28:47,166
Somebody get him a gold star-
… because this, this boy right here-

730
00:28:47,516 --> 00:28:47,755
Oh,

731
00:28:47,876 --> 00:28:49,656
good boy … has, he has put in the work.

732
00:28:49,716 --> 00:28:50,615
He's a good boy.

733
00:28:51,156 --> 00:28:55,256
Um, and that's why he is allowed
to have female companions.

734
00:28:55,756 --> 00:28:56,036
Wow.

735
00:28:56,276 --> 00:28:57,356
And they said I was man's best

736
00:28:57,416 --> 00:28:57,996
friend.

737
00:28:58,696 --> 00:29:00,206
Well- Yeah … you're a woman's

738
00:29:00,296 --> 00:29:00,526
best friend.

739
00:29:01,026 --> 00:29:02,246
And even then, only one woman.

740
00:29:02,746 --> 00:29:03,306
Yeah.

741
00:29:03,366 --> 00:29:03,476
Yeah.

742
00:29:03,566 --> 00:29:05,546
I can't be best friends with other womans.

743
00:29:06,046 --> 00:29:06,886
Oh, that was a joke.

744
00:29:06,966 --> 00:29:09,566
See, that's the, that's the look if you're
not watching You're gonna edit that,

745
00:29:09,706 --> 00:29:09,986
right?

746
00:29:10,466 --> 00:29:12,806
That's the look she gives
me when she's gonna kill me.

747
00:29:13,786 --> 00:29:14,606
But I'm not scared.

748
00:29:14,747 --> 00:29:17,846
I know that, uh, I love
you forever and ever.

749
00:29:18,426 --> 00:29:18,686
Mm-hmm.

750
00:29:19,006 --> 00:29:19,146
Yeah.

751
00:29:19,646 --> 00:29:21,426
Anyways, uh, to our-

752
00:29:21,626 --> 00:29:22,306
So yes, to

753
00:29:22,386 --> 00:29:25,786
our- … our listener who,
uh, who sent that question.

754
00:29:25,886 --> 00:29:26,126
Yeah.

755
00:29:26,847 --> 00:29:26,867
W-

756
00:29:27,726 --> 00:29:28,347
it's okay.

757
00:29:28,546 --> 00:29:29,946
It's okay to have- It's
okay … different likes.

758
00:29:30,027 --> 00:29:30,047
Mm-hmm.

759
00:29:30,047 --> 00:29:32,566
It's okay to be on different
planes- Mm-hmm … um, as

760
00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:34,226
long as you're vocal about it.

761
00:29:34,646 --> 00:29:39,646
Don't put yourself in a
corner to satisfy your spouse.

762
00:29:39,887 --> 00:29:40,486
I've done that.

763
00:29:40,727 --> 00:29:42,146
You're both in this together.

764
00:29:42,146 --> 00:29:43,126
We both have done this.

765
00:29:43,226 --> 00:29:43,246
Yeah.

766
00:29:43,286 --> 00:29:43,887
Don't do that.

767
00:29:44,106 --> 00:29:44,286
Yeah.

768
00:29:44,506 --> 00:29:44,707
No.

769
00:29:44,727 --> 00:29:44,796
Don't do that.

770
00:29:44,826 --> 00:29:48,047
You're, you're just, your feelings
are just as important as his-

771
00:29:48,347 --> 00:29:50,746
Mm-hmm … and his feelings
are just as important as yours.

772
00:29:51,086 --> 00:29:51,096
Mm-hmm.

773
00:29:51,126 --> 00:29:53,986
And your wants and your needs and
what you're looking to get out of

774
00:29:54,027 --> 00:29:55,626
this- Are just- Uh, they're ex-

775
00:29:55,786 --> 00:29:59,746
They're just as important Yeah
Like, it, it's, it's, um, it's okay.

776
00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:03,086
And I know sometimes it could
be har- it could be hard.

777
00:30:03,106 --> 00:30:03,847
Like, it could sting.

778
00:30:03,886 --> 00:30:05,086
You don't know what it is, right?

779
00:30:05,126 --> 00:30:06,886
And it may make you feel a certain way.

780
00:30:07,406 --> 00:30:09,246
Discuss that with your partner.

781
00:30:09,387 --> 00:30:15,906
Um, you should be able to have any type of
conversation any time with your partner.

782
00:30:16,126 --> 00:30:20,546
Like, make yourself a little safe
time and be like, "Hey, I really have

783
00:30:20,586 --> 00:30:21,967
to have this conversation with you.

784
00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,506
This is making me feel a certain way.

785
00:30:25,106 --> 00:30:26,426
You know, we're not matching.

786
00:30:26,627 --> 00:30:27,506
Something's going on.

787
00:30:27,587 --> 00:30:29,727
What is it?" Like, talk.

788
00:30:30,606 --> 00:30:31,707
Yeah, absolutely.

789
00:30:31,766 --> 00:30:33,646
I, I, I couldn't have said
it better myself, actually.

790
00:30:34,146 --> 00:30:36,207
That's, I mean, that's really what
it comes down to is the big word.

791
00:30:36,207 --> 00:30:37,026
Thank you, weed.

792
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:37,627
Talk.

793
00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:38,086
That's right.

794
00:30:38,306 --> 00:30:38,746
Talk.

795
00:30:39,146 --> 00:30:40,466
Uh, that's what it comes down to.

796
00:30:40,506 --> 00:30:43,546
And, and, you know, that, uh,
that's the hard truth about it.

797
00:30:43,886 --> 00:30:48,286
And once you get used to having these
uncomfortable conversations, really,

798
00:30:48,626 --> 00:30:50,766
there's nothing harder than that.

799
00:30:51,246 --> 00:30:53,207
Everything else is easier after that.

800
00:30:53,227 --> 00:30:53,247
Yeah.

801
00:30:53,266 --> 00:30:54,946
Talk about finance is pretty easy.

802
00:30:55,227 --> 00:30:55,526
You know?

803
00:30:55,646 --> 00:30:57,806
You gotta talk about this
or that, it, it's easy.

804
00:30:57,846 --> 00:30:58,166
Mm-hmm.

805
00:30:58,186 --> 00:31:01,606
Because you guys just had the
really, really difficult conversation

806
00:31:01,646 --> 00:31:05,966
of what you actually want out
of this with no hurt feelings.

807
00:31:06,146 --> 00:31:06,166
Yeah.

808
00:31:06,186 --> 00:31:07,126
Like, that's, that's tough.

809
00:31:07,406 --> 00:31:07,766
It's tough to

810
00:31:07,786 --> 00:31:08,226
navigate.

811
00:31:08,247 --> 00:31:12,666
And if, um, you know, if you have more
of these kind of like conversations with

812
00:31:12,706 --> 00:31:15,376
them, it makes- It makes your life down…

813
00:31:16,226 --> 00:31:20,346
It makes your lifestyle much
easier to navigate after that.

814
00:31:20,386 --> 00:31:20,426
Yeah.

815
00:31:20,546 --> 00:31:25,766
Um, it took a lot for me to have honest
conversations with Adam, and then

816
00:31:25,786 --> 00:31:29,006
something just snapped, and I'm like,
"All right, this is what I'm gonna say."

817
00:31:29,166 --> 00:31:30,805
Yeah, and then she was really honest.

818
00:31:30,886 --> 00:31:31,136
Yeah.

819
00:31:31,206 --> 00:31:33,816
But, you know, it made it easy
for me because there was a lot

820
00:31:33,926 --> 00:31:37,696
that she wasn't telling me that
I would just assume- Mm-hmm

821
00:31:37,706 --> 00:31:39,886
because, uh, she wasn't
telling me otherwise, you know?

822
00:31:40,446 --> 00:31:46,046
Um, a good example is when people reach
out to me who show interest in my wife

823
00:31:46,066 --> 00:31:49,486
and they're like, "Hey, you know, is
it okay if I contact her?" Or, "Is it

824
00:31:49,546 --> 00:31:50,866
okay if I take her out?" Or whatever.

825
00:31:51,766 --> 00:31:53,126
I know what her type is.

826
00:31:53,786 --> 00:31:59,196
Um, and I know whether somebody's
gonna work out, whether it's somebody

827
00:31:59,226 --> 00:32:00,866
that, uh, she's interested in.

828
00:32:00,876 --> 00:32:00,966
Mm-hmm.

829
00:32:01,015 --> 00:32:03,266
There's been times where she's
like, "I don't have time to set

830
00:32:03,286 --> 00:32:05,906
something up. Can you set something
up so that, uh, you know, we can

831
00:32:05,926 --> 00:32:07,846
have some fun?" And then I will.

832
00:32:08,046 --> 00:32:11,746
Well, we don't like the
same type of person, so that

833
00:32:11,786 --> 00:32:13,006
wouldn't be a good experience.

834
00:32:13,026 --> 00:32:15,426
And then I'd be like, "Well, why…
You told me to set it up and now you're

835
00:32:15,466 --> 00:32:16,886
telling me that you're not interested."

836
00:32:16,906 --> 00:32:17,076
Like- Get

837
00:32:17,126 --> 00:32:17,746
it right

838
00:32:17,866 --> 00:32:18,746
…
what the hell, you know?

839
00:32:19,286 --> 00:32:24,066
Uh, it took a lot of learning of what
she liked and what she didn't like.

840
00:32:24,106 --> 00:32:24,406
Mm-hmm.

841
00:32:24,706 --> 00:32:30,266
Um, and now this is one of the
reasons why we also play separately.

842
00:32:30,286 --> 00:32:30,536
Mm-hmm.

843
00:32:30,766 --> 00:32:35,106
Uh, and we entertain friends with
benefits separately because, uh, you

844
00:32:35,146 --> 00:32:36,436
know, the… it's not our preference.

845
00:32:36,506 --> 00:32:40,226
Our preference is together
and, and we much prefer that.

846
00:32:40,266 --> 00:32:45,176
But, uh, as you can see, our likes
are different just like y'all's likes

847
00:32:45,256 --> 00:32:46,896
and, and wants are, are different.

848
00:32:47,456 --> 00:32:50,326
And so for us it's like, well,
I don't wanna hold you back

849
00:32:50,356 --> 00:32:51,456
from having a good experience.

850
00:32:51,476 --> 00:32:53,596
She doesn't wanna hold me back-
Mm-hmm … from having a fun experience.

851
00:32:54,086 --> 00:32:55,316
So we just do our thing.

852
00:32:55,756 --> 00:32:58,876
And like I said, it doesn't happen
very often, but we have that ability.

853
00:32:59,036 --> 00:32:59,236
Mm-hmm.

854
00:32:59,476 --> 00:33:00,296
And it's kinda nice.

855
00:33:00,796 --> 00:33:01,876
It is very nice.

856
00:33:01,996 --> 00:33:03,176
It is very nice.

857
00:33:03,676 --> 00:33:06,276
So anyways, that's our quickie for today.

858
00:33:06,476 --> 00:33:08,336
Thank you both for your honesty.

859
00:33:08,416 --> 00:33:10,036
We hope that this helped
even a little bit.

860
00:33:10,636 --> 00:33:15,156
Everything lives at beyond-monogamy.com,
episodes, show notes, and yes,

861
00:33:15,716 --> 00:33:17,416
leave us your own voicemail.

862
00:33:18,336 --> 00:33:20,236
It might just become the next episode.

863
00:33:20,616 --> 00:33:25,976
And while you're on that site, don't sleep
on it, our 100% anonymous confessional.

864
00:33:26,036 --> 00:33:30,256
There's no login, no name, no receipts,
just a place to say the thing that

865
00:33:30,316 --> 00:33:32,176
you can't say out loud to anyone else.

866
00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:35,696
It's there waiting for you
at beyond-monogamy.com.

867
00:33:36,616 --> 00:33:36,736
Yeah.

868
00:33:36,776 --> 00:33:38,456
And if this one hit home, share it.

869
00:33:39,036 --> 00:33:40,056
Text it to your partner.

870
00:33:40,136 --> 00:33:44,796
Leave us a five-star review on Apple
Podcasts or YouTube or Spotify.

871
00:33:45,296 --> 00:33:46,516
Tell us what you got out of it.

872
00:33:46,576 --> 00:33:47,816
You know, there's always a common area.

873
00:33:47,846 --> 00:33:47,856
Mm-hmm.

874
00:33:47,856 --> 00:33:48,706
I'm always curious.

875
00:33:49,176 --> 00:33:54,495
That's how this show keeps growing, and
it keeps finding the people who need it.

876
00:33:54,596 --> 00:33:58,736
And for even more lifestyle content,
come find us on fullswapradio.com.

877
00:33:59,576 --> 00:34:02,816
Live every Thursday at 2:00
PM and 7:00 PM Central.

878
00:34:03,116 --> 00:34:05,096
Good people, real talk, all lifestyle.

879
00:34:05,676 --> 00:34:06,776
Now, events.

880
00:34:07,236 --> 00:34:14,426
Crazy Winter Nights 2027 in Kansas City,
February 19th through the 21st of 2027.

881
00:34:15,156 --> 00:34:17,955
Use code BEOMONO at checkout.

882
00:34:18,016 --> 00:34:18,956
Save some money.

883
00:34:18,996 --> 00:34:19,756
Don't sleep on it.

884
00:34:19,796 --> 00:34:20,746
We will be there.

885
00:34:21,246 --> 00:34:25,186
And locally, Beyond Monogamy
at Eden in San Antonio on

886
00:34:25,206 --> 00:34:27,086
June 20th at 9:00 PM Central.

887
00:34:27,126 --> 00:34:28,366
We wanna see you there.

888
00:34:28,406 --> 00:34:32,406
Just a heads up, Club Eden requires
a membership to attend, guys.

889
00:34:32,706 --> 00:34:34,106
So make sure you get on that.

890
00:34:34,146 --> 00:34:35,566
Take care of it beforehand.

891
00:34:35,966 --> 00:34:39,226
You can even rent a couch, a
little table, all that good stuff.

892
00:34:39,435 --> 00:34:39,445
Mm-hmm.

893
00:34:39,446 --> 00:34:40,526
There's content rooms.

894
00:34:40,786 --> 00:34:41,526
They're awesome.

895
00:34:42,126 --> 00:34:45,906
So you can find all the details
to, at beyond-monogamy.com.

896
00:34:46,246 --> 00:34:51,756
And also guys, we are going
to be in New Orleans in July.

897
00:34:51,836 --> 00:34:52,136
Oh, yeah.

898
00:34:52,476 --> 00:34:57,496
We are attending the world's
largest lifestyle event.

899
00:34:57,616 --> 00:34:58,976
It is called Naughty N'Awlins.

900
00:34:59,496 --> 00:35:06,886
It is from July 8th up to the 14th,
and they take over the French Quarter.

901
00:35:06,996 --> 00:35:12,356
Um, Astor Hotel is a big provider
of pretty much where, um, a lot

902
00:35:12,396 --> 00:35:13,756
of the events are happening.

903
00:35:13,816 --> 00:35:18,776
So guys, if you need something
to do in the summer, come with

904
00:35:18,876 --> 00:35:22,276
us and check this place out
because we're gonna have a booth.

905
00:35:22,796 --> 00:35:22,806
Yeah.

906
00:35:22,816 --> 00:35:24,316
We're gonna be doing the show live.

907
00:35:24,416 --> 00:35:24,656
That's right.

908
00:35:24,836 --> 00:35:27,956
Um, we're gonna have some…
What else are we gonna have?

909
00:35:28,016 --> 00:35:29,256
We're gonna have some giveaways.

910
00:35:29,336 --> 00:35:30,196
We'll have some giveaways.

911
00:35:30,296 --> 00:35:30,676
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

912
00:35:30,676 --> 00:35:35,016
Yeah, so yeah, guys, if y'all
wanna see us, come check it out.

913
00:35:35,305 --> 00:35:37,106
Plus, we will be having
sex out there because-

914
00:35:37,276 --> 00:35:37,916
Yes.

915
00:35:37,976 --> 00:35:38,416
Yes, we

916
00:35:38,456 --> 00:35:38,516
will

917
00:35:38,526 --> 00:35:41,616
you can't go to… I mean,
this is 4,000 swingers.

918
00:35:41,696 --> 00:35:44,965
I told her today, I was like, "Hey,
you know- "… if you can't find,

919
00:35:45,656 --> 00:35:49,776
uh, even one person, then you need
to figure out what's wrong with you."

920
00:35:50,276 --> 00:35:51,116
He did.

921
00:35:51,496 --> 00:35:51,816
He did.

922
00:35:51,916 --> 00:35:56,256
So y'all come out to Naughty N'Awlins
in, in July, and we'll have all the

923
00:35:56,536 --> 00:35:58,736
information in the event tab, right?

924
00:35:59,216 --> 00:35:59,676
Yeah, yeah.

925
00:35:59,736 --> 00:35:59,996
All right.

926
00:36:00,026 --> 00:36:00,036
Woo.

927
00:36:00,036 --> 00:36:01,596
We'll have it in there, absolutely.

928
00:36:01,756 --> 00:36:02,976
I'll work on that right now.

929
00:36:03,476 --> 00:36:06,096
And with that, we thank you all
for joining us for another episode,

930
00:36:06,176 --> 00:36:07,916
and we will see you guys next week.

931
00:36:08,096 --> 00:36:08,796
Bye.