How to Start the Swinging Conversation + Lifestyle Rejection Real Talk

1
00:00:07,184 --> 00:00:10,664
Alright y'all, before we
dive in, a quick heads up.

2
00:00:11,164 --> 00:00:14,134
This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated pg.

3
00:00:14,944 --> 00:00:19,684
We're talking about adult themes, sexual
content, and the kind of stuff you

4
00:00:19,684 --> 00:00:24,034
probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kits.

5
00:00:24,634 --> 00:00:28,504
So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice and get comfy.

6
00:00:28,804 --> 00:00:35,014
Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not
licensed therapists, counselors, or sex.

7
00:00:35,434 --> 00:00:36,244
Couches.

8
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,164
Sex coaches.

9
00:00:38,374 --> 00:00:39,244
Sex coaches,

10
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,384
not sex couches

11
00:00:40,884 --> 00:00:45,144
or just a couple of people sharing our
lives, experiences and sexy adventures.

12
00:00:45,234 --> 00:00:47,124
An ethical non-monogamy.

13
00:00:47,394 --> 00:00:51,644
So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

14
00:00:51,644 --> 00:00:51,734
And.

15
00:00:52,234 --> 00:00:55,024
Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

16
00:00:55,474 --> 00:00:56,014
I'm Adam.

17
00:00:56,884 --> 00:01:00,544
Now, before you start wondering why
you're only hearing one voice today.

18
00:01:00,804 --> 00:01:02,644
Pris is down for the count.

19
00:01:02,944 --> 00:01:04,684
She is like sick, sick.

20
00:01:05,224 --> 00:01:09,424
Like, don't come near me unless you're
bringing soup and lots of silence.

21
00:01:09,544 --> 00:01:09,994
Sick.

22
00:01:10,819 --> 00:01:14,119
And listen, when Pris is
down, we are both down.

23
00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:15,949
That's just how this works.

24
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:18,499
Real life always comes first around here.

25
00:01:19,129 --> 00:01:20,329
The lifestyle's fun.

26
00:01:20,899 --> 00:01:24,529
The podcast is fun, but the
woman who makes all of this

27
00:01:24,529 --> 00:01:27,379
possible, she comes first always.

28
00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:30,949
So instead of recording a brand
new Sunday episode, I'm doing

29
00:01:30,949 --> 00:01:31,909
something a little different.

30
00:01:32,239 --> 00:01:35,179
We're diving back way back into the vault.

31
00:01:35,449 --> 00:01:39,889
You're getting two quickie
episodes back to back today.

32
00:01:40,639 --> 00:01:45,799
No titles, no spoilers, just two
conversations pulled straight from the

33
00:01:45,799 --> 00:01:50,509
archives that still hit just as hard now
as they did when we first recorded them.

34
00:01:51,469 --> 00:01:54,079
Maybe you've heard
them, maybe you haven't.

35
00:01:54,619 --> 00:01:59,179
Maybe you forgot what was even said,
which honestly happens to me all the time,

36
00:01:59,239 --> 00:02:01,849
and I hear these things all the time.

37
00:02:02,179 --> 00:02:05,719
So think of this as a little
beyond monogamy mystery grab bag.

38
00:02:07,729 --> 00:02:11,389
With a brand new full episode once
Pris is feeling better and back on her.

39
00:02:12,109 --> 00:02:14,659
Until then, enjoy.

40
00:02:16,099 --> 00:02:16,309
See.

41
00:02:17,484 --> 00:02:20,394
Hello and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

42
00:02:20,544 --> 00:02:20,994
I'm Adam.

43
00:02:21,294 --> 00:02:22,074
And I'm Pris.

44
00:02:22,314 --> 00:02:27,744
And today on our Wednesday quickie, we're
kicking it off a lifestyle 1 0 1 series.

45
00:02:28,074 --> 00:02:32,574
Real simple how to conversations
for anyone curious about

46
00:02:32,574 --> 00:02:34,524
opening up their relationship.

47
00:02:34,584 --> 00:02:37,674
And we're starting with one of
the biggest questions we hear.

48
00:02:39,114 --> 00:02:41,469
How the heck do you even bring
this up with your partner?

49
00:02:42,894 --> 00:02:48,564
Yeah, because that's the first
conversation that can either set you

50
00:02:48,564 --> 00:02:53,904
up for success or it can absolutely
have you crash and burn real fast.

51
00:02:54,234 --> 00:03:00,714
So today we're breaking that down for what
worked for us and what didn't, and trying

52
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:05,934
to give you guys some practical tips to
make that talk a little bit smoother.

53
00:03:06,234 --> 00:03:07,434
Because that's a hard

54
00:03:08,034 --> 00:03:08,184
talk.

55
00:03:08,184 --> 00:03:09,744
That's a very hard conversation.

56
00:03:09,744 --> 00:03:09,954
Oh my gosh.

57
00:03:09,954 --> 00:03:11,364
We get that question.

58
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,109
Almost once a week.

59
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,849
How do you even get started?

60
00:03:15,939 --> 00:03:19,479
And you know what's funny is
that's normally when I meet new

61
00:03:19,479 --> 00:03:22,809
people, that's the question I
like to ask is who brought it up?

62
00:03:23,679 --> 00:03:23,949
I know you do.

63
00:03:23,949 --> 00:03:27,879
You ask that A how did it And sometimes
it, it brings out some, some anger.

64
00:03:27,879 --> 00:03:29,109
Sometimes it triggers people.

65
00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:29,589
Yeah.

66
00:03:29,589 --> 00:03:31,629
Because maybe it wasn't a good situation.

67
00:03:32,229 --> 00:03:33,999
But I always like to hear that story.

68
00:03:33,999 --> 00:03:35,079
'cause it's who brought it up.

69
00:03:35,079 --> 00:03:35,139
Yeah.

70
00:03:35,139 --> 00:03:36,369
Who had the balls to do it.

71
00:03:36,429 --> 00:03:36,789
Wow.

72
00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,319
Because that's some major stuff.

73
00:03:39,129 --> 00:03:40,659
It is who brought it up here?

74
00:03:41,079 --> 00:03:43,989
For us, it was a little different.

75
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:44,349
Yeah.

76
00:03:44,379 --> 00:03:47,979
Because initially when we were
first dating, you started telling

77
00:03:47,979 --> 00:03:49,509
me all these great stories.

78
00:03:49,569 --> 00:03:49,719
Yes.

79
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:52,089
About your past experiences.

80
00:03:52,089 --> 00:03:52,179
Yes.

81
00:03:52,779 --> 00:03:56,169
And I remember thinking, wow,
she's really experienced.

82
00:03:56,349 --> 00:03:56,559
Yeah.

83
00:03:56,589 --> 00:04:00,369
And then that's when you explained
to me that you guys were actually

84
00:04:00,369 --> 00:04:04,329
swingers and that y'all were
on a website and this and that.

85
00:04:04,329 --> 00:04:05,019
And I was like.

86
00:04:05,439 --> 00:04:05,859
Huh?

87
00:04:06,159 --> 00:04:06,489
Yeah.

88
00:04:06,969 --> 00:04:11,949
And I remember we would talk about it and
it just, the thought of it, forget it.

89
00:04:11,949 --> 00:04:12,789
It turned me on.

90
00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:13,179
Yeah.

91
00:04:13,899 --> 00:04:17,289
And I remember telling
you I'd love to try that.

92
00:04:17,409 --> 00:04:17,679
Yeah.

93
00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:19,569
And I'd love to try that with you.

94
00:04:20,409 --> 00:04:23,739
And I remember your response was not good.

95
00:04:24,039 --> 00:04:24,369
No.

96
00:04:24,369 --> 00:04:28,089
Because I wanted to, so first of all.

97
00:04:29,079 --> 00:04:34,089
So that we can tell y'all, you really have
to make sure you're in the right setting.

98
00:04:35,019 --> 00:04:35,649
Timing.

99
00:04:36,219 --> 00:04:36,489
Yeah,

100
00:04:36,519 --> 00:04:37,749
the timing matters.

101
00:04:37,749 --> 00:04:38,229
The timing

102
00:04:38,229 --> 00:04:38,589
doesn't matter.

103
00:04:38,589 --> 00:04:38,649
Um,

104
00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:41,019
we were on the road driving it.

105
00:04:41,109 --> 00:04:41,979
It really.

106
00:04:42,384 --> 00:04:46,224
And I guess the way it came off, it
really made me feel super insecure.

107
00:04:46,584 --> 00:04:49,854
So when I was telling him the stories,
I don't know what I was thinking,

108
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:55,944
what was gonna happen, but he did
end up asking questions and the

109
00:04:55,944 --> 00:04:57,384
question was, would you do that?

110
00:04:57,414 --> 00:05:00,804
And of course I was like, no,
I don't wanna do that again,

111
00:05:00,954 --> 00:05:06,984
only because I had such negative
outcomes with my previous partners.

112
00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:07,074
Yeah.

113
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:07,644
So they weren't good

114
00:05:07,644 --> 00:05:08,274
experiences

115
00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:09,444
and it wasn't the right time.

116
00:05:09,444 --> 00:05:11,694
The way we brought up
that conversation wasn't.

117
00:05:12,264 --> 00:05:17,454
Realistically, looking back now
should not have been done that way.

118
00:05:17,634 --> 00:05:18,384
No, it shouldn't have.

119
00:05:18,714 --> 00:05:19,524
I agree with that.

120
00:05:19,524 --> 00:05:25,344
I if I was really interested, like if
it was me now saying it, then it would

121
00:05:25,344 --> 00:05:26,934
be a completely different conversation.

122
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:26,994
Yeah.

123
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,774
Well, you know me now

124
00:05:27,774 --> 00:05:31,489
because I know now we were
really early in our dating and I

125
00:05:31,569 --> 00:05:32,844
think we had only been together

126
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:33,894
couple weeks, maybe.

127
00:05:33,954 --> 00:05:34,489
No days.

128
00:05:35,029 --> 00:05:35,249
No.

129
00:05:35,634 --> 00:05:36,474
Yeah, it was early.

130
00:05:36,474 --> 00:05:36,624
It was

131
00:05:36,624 --> 00:05:37,284
like a month.

132
00:05:37,659 --> 00:05:38,379
Maybe

133
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,129
it was a month,

134
00:05:39,129 --> 00:05:39,639
maybe

135
00:05:39,669 --> 00:05:40,389
a little over,

136
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:40,904
I don't know, a

137
00:05:40,904 --> 00:05:40,984
month.

138
00:05:41,019 --> 00:05:41,049
I

139
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,159
think we've been together forever,

140
00:05:42,189 --> 00:05:44,559
but we were fresh in the relationship.

141
00:05:44,559 --> 00:05:47,709
Yeah, and I remember saying that's
something that I would be interested

142
00:05:47,709 --> 00:05:51,429
in doing with you if that's something
that you know you'd be interested in.

143
00:05:51,429 --> 00:05:54,459
And I remember, but I didn't
say it exactly like that.

144
00:05:54,459 --> 00:05:57,789
I'm sure the way I said it
was probably pretty stupid.

145
00:05:58,299 --> 00:05:59,859
Or at least straight to the point

146
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:00,459
probably.

147
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:00,894
I don't remember.

148
00:06:01,454 --> 00:06:01,749
'cause I, I'm,

149
00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:03,254
I was easily triggered anyway, so

150
00:06:03,254 --> 00:06:03,734
it doesn't matter.

151
00:06:03,794 --> 00:06:05,799
And so I think I just
went straight with it.

152
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:05,859
Yeah.

153
00:06:05,859 --> 00:06:08,499
And I just threw it out there
and been like, Hey, I, I'd love

154
00:06:08,499 --> 00:06:09,699
to have sex with other people.

155
00:06:09,759 --> 00:06:09,999
Yeah.

156
00:06:10,054 --> 00:06:10,294
Yeah.

157
00:06:10,539 --> 00:06:12,669
And I'm sure it just
didn't come out right.

158
00:06:12,669 --> 00:06:12,729
Yeah.

159
00:06:12,759 --> 00:06:17,919
And so with that, it wasn't a
great conversation, but it was had.

160
00:06:18,219 --> 00:06:18,669
Yeah.

161
00:06:18,789 --> 00:06:19,539
And then.

162
00:06:20,244 --> 00:06:23,904
I guess you thought about it more
and then eventually you brought it up

163
00:06:23,904 --> 00:06:25,164
and we started talking about it, and

164
00:06:25,299 --> 00:06:25,764
then we started.

165
00:06:25,764 --> 00:06:26,124
Yeah.

166
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:26,484
It's,

167
00:06:26,544 --> 00:06:28,344
it's almost like you
had to come around Yeah.

168
00:06:28,914 --> 00:06:30,444
And kind of figure each other out,

169
00:06:30,444 --> 00:06:30,774
come

170
00:06:30,774 --> 00:06:31,164
into terms with

171
00:06:31,164 --> 00:06:31,824
some things.

172
00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:36,024
So conversation has to
start somewhere, right?

173
00:06:36,084 --> 00:06:36,384
Yeah.

174
00:06:36,594 --> 00:06:38,994
And you have to really make sure
you're in a really good place.

175
00:06:38,994 --> 00:06:39,054
So.

176
00:06:40,194 --> 00:06:41,064
Set it up.

177
00:06:41,094 --> 00:06:44,214
Don't set it up to be like, like
you're gonna invite a friend and be

178
00:06:44,214 --> 00:06:46,044
like, Hey, she's here to join us.

179
00:06:46,044 --> 00:06:47,124
No, not that.

180
00:06:47,124 --> 00:06:48,054
That kind of set up.

181
00:06:48,114 --> 00:06:48,234
Yeah.

182
00:06:48,264 --> 00:06:51,234
What I mean by setup is make sure
that your partner is in a good head

183
00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:56,244
space for this conversation, because
this is a very deep conversation.

184
00:06:56,274 --> 00:06:59,364
It makes you feel very, it's
heavy, vulnerable, very.

185
00:07:00,039 --> 00:07:03,699
I don't know, and I'm gonna say this
as a woman because I'm not a man,

186
00:07:03,699 --> 00:07:07,029
but as a woman, it makes you feel
sometimes insecure about yourself.

187
00:07:07,089 --> 00:07:08,769
Is he wanting something better?

188
00:07:08,769 --> 00:07:10,029
Am I not good enough?

189
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,424
It you have a lot of the
self, the for men too.

190
00:07:11,469 --> 00:07:11,679
Yeah.

191
00:07:11,679 --> 00:07:12,609
You have a lot of self-doubt.

192
00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:13,029
Okay.

193
00:07:13,269 --> 00:07:13,389
Yeah.

194
00:07:13,419 --> 00:07:16,059
So make sure that your partner's
in a really good head space before

195
00:07:16,059 --> 00:07:17,679
you bring up this conversation.

196
00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:21,069
And you don't wanna drop it
in the middle of a fight.

197
00:07:21,579 --> 00:07:22,779
Oh God, no.

198
00:07:22,869 --> 00:07:24,999
And I, and don't think
that I did that either.

199
00:07:24,999 --> 00:07:26,019
Like I didn't

200
00:07:26,169 --> 00:07:26,479
No, no.

201
00:07:26,799 --> 00:07:27,849
I actually,

202
00:07:27,879 --> 00:07:28,419
we were driving.

203
00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:29,349
We were just driving.

204
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,789
It was just a regular conversation.

205
00:07:30,789 --> 00:07:31,089
Conversation.

206
00:07:31,089 --> 00:07:31,179
Mm-hmm.

207
00:07:31,419 --> 00:07:35,349
Now when it came back up later,
we were able to have like

208
00:07:35,349 --> 00:07:36,629
true conversation about it.

209
00:07:36,629 --> 00:07:36,654
Yeah.

210
00:07:36,654 --> 00:07:36,814
A very deep

211
00:07:36,819 --> 00:07:39,334
conversation where we wanted to
start, how we were gonna feel.

212
00:07:39,969 --> 00:07:46,479
And I can understand a lot of new guys
that enter the lifestyle for the very

213
00:07:46,479 --> 00:07:48,844
first time are very excited to get.

214
00:07:49,884 --> 00:07:50,814
Experiences Of

215
00:07:50,814 --> 00:07:51,294
course.

216
00:07:51,294 --> 00:07:53,394
So it's like letting a
little puppy dog out mm-hmm.

217
00:07:53,664 --> 00:07:57,264
On a floor of, of food,
like it's gonna go nuts.

218
00:07:57,294 --> 00:07:57,594
Yeah.

219
00:07:57,654 --> 00:08:01,194
And so automatically it's an
excitement and it's, I want to go in

220
00:08:01,194 --> 00:08:05,484
here and I want to see every guy has
the feeling that he can pull some

221
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:07,224
hotties and be like, yeah, let's go.

222
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:11,934
And so almost every new
guy to the lifestyle.

223
00:08:12,399 --> 00:08:14,649
Has that kind of mentality of thinking.

224
00:08:14,649 --> 00:08:14,979
Right?

225
00:08:15,249 --> 00:08:18,639
And so that's why you can really
tell a lot of new guys in the

226
00:08:18,639 --> 00:08:19,809
lifestyle 'cause they just

227
00:08:20,379 --> 00:08:21,369
very thirsty.

228
00:08:21,399 --> 00:08:21,729
Very

229
00:08:21,729 --> 00:08:22,359
thirsty.

230
00:08:22,359 --> 00:08:22,379
Very thirsty.

231
00:08:22,379 --> 00:08:24,309
And this could be, even
if you're with a partner,

232
00:08:24,489 --> 00:08:24,639
yeah,

233
00:08:24,669 --> 00:08:26,319
you can be the thirsty one.

234
00:08:26,529 --> 00:08:30,849
Now, I've never had a
woman be very thirsty.

235
00:08:31,299 --> 00:08:35,859
I am a, I'm bisexual and being in the
lifestyle has opened that up more.

236
00:08:36,699 --> 00:08:37,869
But I'm not very.

237
00:08:38,379 --> 00:08:41,709
Mentally I'm thirsty, but not out loud.

238
00:08:42,459 --> 00:08:44,259
Internally, I'm very thirsty.

239
00:08:44,259 --> 00:08:45,159
But no one's gonna know that.

240
00:08:46,029 --> 00:08:46,719
Nobody's gonna

241
00:08:46,719 --> 00:08:47,864
know how thirsty you're don't.

242
00:08:47,864 --> 00:08:47,944
Yeah.

243
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,949
No one's gonna know how thirsty I am,
but, and I'm like that with women because

244
00:08:50,949 --> 00:08:54,609
I don't get to have those experiences
very often, or in the beginning I didn't.

245
00:08:54,759 --> 00:08:55,329
Yeah, that's true.

246
00:08:55,359 --> 00:08:56,829
So don't drop it in a fight.

247
00:08:56,829 --> 00:08:57,699
Let's not do that.

248
00:08:57,909 --> 00:08:58,779
You.

249
00:08:59,349 --> 00:09:02,649
Can start it off by leading with
a curiosity about it, right?

250
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,219
Yeah.

251
00:09:03,939 --> 00:09:06,309
It's obvious like you're no dummy.

252
00:09:06,309 --> 00:09:10,839
So if I'm coming at you and I'm asking
you a lot of questions about something

253
00:09:10,929 --> 00:09:11,319
right?

254
00:09:11,319 --> 00:09:12,639
Over the span of time,

255
00:09:12,669 --> 00:09:13,029
yes.

256
00:09:13,059 --> 00:09:15,759
You're gonna know what my final questions

257
00:09:15,759 --> 00:09:15,999
gonna

258
00:09:15,999 --> 00:09:16,329
be.

259
00:09:16,719 --> 00:09:16,749
I

260
00:09:16,749 --> 00:09:16,909
am right?

261
00:09:16,909 --> 00:09:16,929
I am.

262
00:09:16,929 --> 00:09:16,989
Yes.

263
00:09:17,109 --> 00:09:21,249
So if I'm asking you about your
experiences back then, or if I'm asking

264
00:09:21,249 --> 00:09:24,819
you about this or that, then it's
obvious you're piecing it together.

265
00:09:24,819 --> 00:09:26,589
He's probably gonna ask me this.

266
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:27,069
Yeah.

267
00:09:27,249 --> 00:09:30,884
And so then when I. Ask Inquisitively.

268
00:09:31,484 --> 00:09:32,624
Inquisitively.

269
00:09:32,744 --> 00:09:33,224
Yeah.

270
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:38,624
I think the big thing is, and this
is the problem, is most people will

271
00:09:38,624 --> 00:09:40,844
just go into asking the question

272
00:09:40,934 --> 00:09:41,144
Yes.

273
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:44,234
And saying, Hey, can we do
this instead of the preamble?

274
00:09:44,234 --> 00:09:48,224
I think the preamble is just
as important as the message.

275
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:52,934
So my preamble is basically,
okay, so there's something that

276
00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:54,314
I want to talk to you about.

277
00:09:54,614 --> 00:09:54,734
Yes.

278
00:09:54,764 --> 00:09:57,104
And I know it's something that's probably.

279
00:09:57,894 --> 00:09:58,314
You're not.

280
00:09:58,314 --> 00:09:58,404
Well,

281
00:09:58,404 --> 00:09:59,394
that's, that's it now.

282
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:00,264
No, that's what I'm saying.

283
00:10:00,564 --> 00:10:00,624
Yeah.

284
00:10:00,624 --> 00:10:02,544
And and that's what I
would suggest to people.

285
00:10:02,549 --> 00:10:02,589
Yes,

286
00:10:02,634 --> 00:10:02,874
yes.

287
00:10:02,904 --> 00:10:04,164
Is have the preamble.

288
00:10:04,164 --> 00:10:09,294
So sit there and let them know, look, this
is not gonna be a very pleasant topic, and

289
00:10:09,684 --> 00:10:14,694
you might feel something about it, but I
really feel like we need to talk about it.

290
00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:18,204
And if you're in the right
space to have this conversation,

291
00:10:18,204 --> 00:10:19,644
can we talk about something?

292
00:10:19,674 --> 00:10:20,034
Yeah.

293
00:10:20,034 --> 00:10:22,644
And there's probably gonna be some tears.

294
00:10:22,994 --> 00:10:23,234
Yeah.

295
00:10:23,264 --> 00:10:24,674
Someone's gonna feel they're not

296
00:10:24,674 --> 00:10:25,154
good enough.

297
00:10:25,154 --> 00:10:25,939
There's insecurities,

298
00:10:25,939 --> 00:10:26,954
there's, it's gonna,

299
00:10:27,374 --> 00:10:31,154
and be ready to tell your
reasons why you want to try it.

300
00:10:31,184 --> 00:10:31,244
Yeah.

301
00:10:31,244 --> 00:10:33,404
Don't just be like, 'cause it sounds cool.

302
00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:33,884
Yeah.

303
00:10:33,944 --> 00:10:36,254
Oh, because Pris and Adam
said you should do it.

304
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:38,354
It's just want to have
sex with other people.

305
00:10:38,384 --> 00:10:38,804
Yeah.

306
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:44,804
It's a very, very hard conversation,
but it can also be fun conversation.

307
00:10:44,809 --> 00:10:45,059
Yeah.

308
00:10:45,374 --> 00:10:45,734
Yeah.

309
00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:48,554
It's definitely not a conversation
to have when you're drunk.

310
00:10:48,704 --> 00:10:49,184
No.

311
00:10:49,544 --> 00:10:52,244
It's best to have all your faculties.

312
00:10:52,779 --> 00:10:54,429
When you have that conversation.

313
00:10:54,429 --> 00:10:54,519
Yes.

314
00:10:54,819 --> 00:10:57,609
I think that what a a, a lot of people.

315
00:10:58,764 --> 00:11:02,874
Have told me over time, as
their first time dipping into

316
00:11:02,874 --> 00:11:04,914
it revolves around alcohol.

317
00:11:05,394 --> 00:11:09,774
And so it's all we were drinking and
we were with this girl and we got

318
00:11:09,774 --> 00:11:12,309
drunk and then one thing led to another
and the girls, girls started kissing.

319
00:11:12,309 --> 00:11:12,509
That's a lot.

320
00:11:12,509 --> 00:11:15,804
Started a lot of the conversations
and we all just had sex.

321
00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:18,354
And then after that it was
like, Hey, let's look into this.

322
00:11:18,414 --> 00:11:18,684
Yeah,

323
00:11:18,774 --> 00:11:25,524
so a lot of those stories revolve in
that way, and if you're gonna have the

324
00:11:25,524 --> 00:11:27,264
conversation with your spouse about it.

325
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:32,859
At least don't have that, uh, don't have
alcohol present in that conversation.

326
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,524
You need to be, you need to be sober.

327
00:11:34,764 --> 00:11:34,914
Yeah,

328
00:11:34,974 --> 00:11:37,464
100%. You need to be sober.

329
00:11:37,704 --> 00:11:42,114
You definitely have to have that really
good clarity and be there for each other.

330
00:11:42,384 --> 00:11:43,674
Any questions?

331
00:11:43,734 --> 00:11:46,134
There's gonna be tons of questions.

332
00:11:46,254 --> 00:11:46,374
Yeah.

333
00:11:46,374 --> 00:11:49,044
And be very honest and
be very open about it.

334
00:11:49,134 --> 00:11:50,949
This is not something where
you're not good enough.

335
00:11:51,984 --> 00:11:53,004
You're, yeah.

336
00:11:53,034 --> 00:11:53,904
You don't love me.

337
00:11:53,904 --> 00:11:54,149
It's not about that.

338
00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:55,494
Not about, that's a reassurance.

339
00:11:55,494 --> 00:11:55,534
It's not about that.

340
00:11:55,914 --> 00:11:56,754
You gotta reassurance.

341
00:11:56,754 --> 00:11:58,104
You need that reassurance.

342
00:11:58,464 --> 00:12:00,864
And the reassurance
isn't always take place

343
00:12:00,869 --> 00:12:01,229
every time.

344
00:12:01,229 --> 00:12:01,469
Yeah.

345
00:12:01,469 --> 00:12:02,304
Like every single

346
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:02,694
time.

347
00:12:02,694 --> 00:12:03,624
You have to be consistent.

348
00:12:03,624 --> 00:12:04,464
You have to,

349
00:12:04,554 --> 00:12:04,764
yeah.

350
00:12:04,794 --> 00:12:08,454
This is a very, it's this
man has put in the work.

351
00:12:08,484 --> 00:12:12,894
You know what's funny is all
this time I've been reassuring

352
00:12:12,894 --> 00:12:13,974
you since we got together.

353
00:12:13,974 --> 00:12:14,064
Yes.

354
00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:14,994
I've been reassuring you.

355
00:12:15,084 --> 00:12:15,234
Yes.

356
00:12:15,774 --> 00:12:17,814
And I never even knew
that's what I was doing.

357
00:12:17,844 --> 00:12:17,904
Yeah.

358
00:12:17,909 --> 00:12:18,109
I just.

359
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:19,509
Telling you,

360
00:12:19,569 --> 00:12:20,409
yeah, I am.

361
00:12:20,409 --> 00:12:22,509
I love, what is it?

362
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,609
Words of affirmations or whatever.

363
00:12:24,639 --> 00:12:28,329
If he doesn't give me the I look
hot or I look beautiful in the

364
00:12:28,329 --> 00:12:30,454
morning when I'm ready to go to work.

365
00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:32,274
I feel, and it's an odd

366
00:12:32,274 --> 00:12:32,544
day,

367
00:12:32,574 --> 00:12:35,539
so off I'm like, what the hell?

368
00:12:35,649 --> 00:12:35,939
Yeah.

369
00:12:35,944 --> 00:12:39,594
Like today, he didn't say that and I
was like, oh my God, do I look okay?

370
00:12:39,954 --> 00:12:40,824
I had a lot going on.

371
00:12:40,824 --> 00:12:41,364
So, yeah.

372
00:12:41,364 --> 00:12:44,514
So be the reassurance, it
has to always come to play.

373
00:12:44,724 --> 00:12:45,024
Yeah.

374
00:12:45,174 --> 00:12:45,624
Yeah.

375
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:53,874
You, here's the thing, you can't
start doing that just so that

376
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,434
you can do the lifestyle though.

377
00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:57,714
Um, and if you're gonna
reassure your spouse.

378
00:12:58,254 --> 00:13:01,284
Then you should be reassuring
your spouse, whether you're in the

379
00:13:01,284 --> 00:13:03,324
lifestyle or not, you should, you
know, like that's your partner.

380
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,784
Your partner always needs,
needs to know how they feel,

381
00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:07,044
how you're feeling about them.

382
00:13:07,044 --> 00:13:07,494
Yeah.

383
00:13:07,494 --> 00:13:09,654
And they need to know
that love and that want,

384
00:13:09,654 --> 00:13:12,864
you should have that whether you're,
you've got the lifestyle looming or not,

385
00:13:12,864 --> 00:13:14,844
but I just felt like that was act right.

386
00:13:14,844 --> 00:13:15,564
So she can let me

387
00:13:15,564 --> 00:13:15,744
have

388
00:13:15,744 --> 00:13:16,254
sex with other

389
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:22,739
people, some men, I mean, my
last marriage would really butter

390
00:13:22,839 --> 00:13:24,594
me up so that they could drink.

391
00:13:24,984 --> 00:13:28,194
And or so that we can make sure that
we would go to the bar or something.

392
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,774
Oh, I'm pretty easy when it
comes to things like that.

393
00:13:30,774 --> 00:13:34,404
It worked, but mean
wrong time, but, so yeah.

394
00:13:34,674 --> 00:13:35,034
Yeah,

395
00:13:35,094 --> 00:13:36,564
definitely reassurance.

396
00:13:36,624 --> 00:13:37,044
Yeah.

397
00:13:37,104 --> 00:13:42,774
Yeah, there's, there's times that you
know that you shouldn't be doing it,

398
00:13:42,774 --> 00:13:48,324
and one of those times is if you're,
say in a relationship that's rocky or

399
00:13:48,324 --> 00:13:54,474
that's not going so well, you shouldn't
be utilizing the lifestyle as a way to.

400
00:13:55,479 --> 00:13:57,994
Stay together if your
relationship's failing and like

401
00:13:57,994 --> 00:13:59,074
your relationship's failing

402
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:01,119
and like, don't make it like
an ultimatum type of thing.

403
00:14:01,119 --> 00:14:01,299
No, man.

404
00:14:01,569 --> 00:14:04,029
Like who, if you don't do this
for me, I'm gonna leave you.

405
00:14:04,059 --> 00:14:10,689
I will say that is probably something
that has happened to many people.

406
00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:12,074
Unfortunately, no.

407
00:14:12,074 --> 00:14:12,234
We

408
00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:12,669
say no.

409
00:14:12,759 --> 00:14:16,209
I feel, especially if you're
debating if you wanna try it, but,

410
00:14:16,359 --> 00:14:19,149
or maybe one of y'all wants to
try it and the other one doesn't.

411
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:19,209
Yeah.

412
00:14:19,599 --> 00:14:23,139
And they're like, if you don't
do this, I'm gonna leave.

413
00:14:23,634 --> 00:14:25,584
Whatever, or it always ends up cheating.

414
00:14:26,544 --> 00:14:27,024
Yeah,

415
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:31,164
I wasn't, that has to be, that
has to be a correlation there.

416
00:14:31,254 --> 00:14:31,944
I'm sure

417
00:14:32,154 --> 00:14:33,684
the cheating and the ultimatum.

418
00:14:33,684 --> 00:14:34,884
If you don't do this type of thing,

419
00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:38,724
I'm sure if you're already pushing
it to an ultimatum, then you're

420
00:14:38,724 --> 00:14:43,194
basically, if you're not already
cheating, you're about to, which, if

421
00:14:43,194 --> 00:14:44,619
that's the case, if it's that bad.

422
00:14:45,354 --> 00:14:50,604
Just break it off and I understand, oh, I
got kids and we've been together so long.

423
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:53,964
But if you have those feelings,
yeah, you have to just end it.

424
00:14:54,624 --> 00:14:59,604
And even if that takes a month or two
just to put a plan in place, hell,

425
00:14:59,934 --> 00:15:04,974
I was with my ex for seven years
and that last year was just recon.

426
00:15:05,274 --> 00:15:09,924
In planning my exit, I took a
whole year to plan my exit, so I

427
00:15:09,924 --> 00:15:14,604
knew from the start and I did all
the research that I had to do.

428
00:15:15,024 --> 00:15:17,244
Literally for the day that I did it

429
00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:17,754
right.

430
00:15:18,114 --> 00:15:20,484
And everything worked out for me.

431
00:15:20,664 --> 00:15:20,874
Yeah.

432
00:15:20,934 --> 00:15:21,534
You know what I mean?

433
00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:22,824
But I was, I planned?

434
00:15:23,064 --> 00:15:23,334
Yeah.

435
00:15:23,364 --> 00:15:24,984
Obsessive compulsive disorder.

436
00:15:24,984 --> 00:15:25,344
I don't know.

437
00:15:26,274 --> 00:15:26,494
Just a tad.

438
00:15:26,494 --> 00:15:26,934
Just a little bit.

439
00:15:26,934 --> 00:15:27,804
Just a tad.

440
00:15:27,864 --> 00:15:29,034
Just a little bit, yeah.

441
00:15:29,724 --> 00:15:33,654
I know when it came to the
lifestyle, I was very, I feel like

442
00:15:33,654 --> 00:15:35,424
I was a little reckless early on.

443
00:15:36,084 --> 00:15:36,504
Yeah.

444
00:15:36,804 --> 00:15:39,954
I feel like I, it's like
I always say I was new.

445
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,804
And I was looking for these experiences.

446
00:15:42,804 --> 00:15:42,894
Yes.

447
00:15:42,894 --> 00:15:45,174
And I wanted, I knew you already had 'em.

448
00:15:45,294 --> 00:15:45,534
Yeah.

449
00:15:45,714 --> 00:15:47,574
And I was like, I want
to be on your level.

450
00:15:47,574 --> 00:15:48,894
I want to know what this is like.

451
00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:51,024
And I remember just feeling like a bull.

452
00:15:51,414 --> 00:15:51,504
Yeah.

453
00:15:51,504 --> 00:15:55,434
Just coming in there and
just, just feeling energized.

454
00:15:55,434 --> 00:15:56,664
Are we gonna do this or what?

455
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,134
Like why are we sitting here talking

456
00:15:58,134 --> 00:15:58,379
so much?

457
00:15:58,379 --> 00:15:58,659
Oh yeah.

458
00:15:58,659 --> 00:16:02,364
I think we've had even arguments
in the very beginning about it.

459
00:16:02,454 --> 00:16:06,894
But I will say those arguments also came
because we were under the influence.

460
00:16:06,894 --> 00:16:07,579
So we would drink a lot.

461
00:16:08,439 --> 00:16:09,309
And then And they would come up.

462
00:16:09,309 --> 00:16:10,749
Conversations would come up.

463
00:16:10,749 --> 00:16:11,109
Yeah,

464
00:16:11,264 --> 00:16:12,279
yeah, yeah.

465
00:16:12,279 --> 00:16:12,939
I could see that.

466
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:17,199
And I was more detached to the situation.

467
00:16:17,199 --> 00:16:20,649
It was more, I always call it
muscle memory, but it was just like,

468
00:16:20,769 --> 00:16:22,899
eh, I go with the flow, whatever.

469
00:16:22,904 --> 00:16:23,194
Yeah.

470
00:16:23,334 --> 00:16:23,554
But

471
00:16:23,554 --> 00:16:25,474
it did cause a lot of internally.

472
00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:28,494
It caused a lot of chaos for me.

473
00:16:28,794 --> 00:16:30,054
And see, I never knew that.

474
00:16:30,059 --> 00:16:30,679
You never knew that.

475
00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:30,959
You didn't.

476
00:16:30,959 --> 00:16:32,124
You didn't tell me that until years.

477
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:32,184
It

478
00:16:33,239 --> 00:16:34,359
caused, as a matter of
fact, a couple years ago, it

479
00:16:34,359 --> 00:16:35,754
caused because I wasn't okay.

480
00:16:36,024 --> 00:16:39,624
I didn't feel like I was enough,
even though he told me I was enough.

481
00:16:39,924 --> 00:16:43,224
I never felt that I was enough
when he would start that.

482
00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:43,639
Yeah,

483
00:16:43,914 --> 00:16:44,274
yeah.

484
00:16:44,274 --> 00:16:45,504
When you wanted to like play.

485
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,359
And I was like, dang, okay.

486
00:16:47,454 --> 00:16:49,104
And we had those conversations.

487
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:49,194
Yeah.

488
00:16:49,194 --> 00:16:52,794
You know, and you would bring up that
sometimes you just didn't feel like, and

489
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:55,374
even as recent as a couple of years ago.

490
00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:56,244
Yeah.

491
00:16:56,364 --> 00:16:58,524
It was like, I just feel
like I'm not enough.

492
00:16:58,524 --> 00:16:59,724
And it's, no, of course you're,

493
00:16:59,724 --> 00:16:59,994
yeah.

494
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:00,714
You're enough.

495
00:17:00,744 --> 00:17:06,384
It had to be something that my
mind figured it out by itself.

496
00:17:06,504 --> 00:17:06,774
Yeah.

497
00:17:06,834 --> 00:17:07,104
Yeah.

498
00:17:07,404 --> 00:17:08,814
And that was, that was a tough one.

499
00:17:08,814 --> 00:17:11,214
I never thought that you'd
come to that conclusion.

500
00:17:11,214 --> 00:17:11,454
Yeah.

501
00:17:11,454 --> 00:17:15,654
You know, and I was very shocked when
you finally made the realization.

502
00:17:16,074 --> 00:17:16,584
Yeah.

503
00:17:17,364 --> 00:17:19,434
And I'm telling you, you
put in a lot of work.

504
00:17:19,494 --> 00:17:19,794
Yeah.

505
00:17:19,884 --> 00:17:19,944
Yeah.

506
00:17:20,574 --> 00:17:21,529
Like you really have

507
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:21,969
and

508
00:17:22,149 --> 00:17:22,569
you don't stop.

509
00:17:22,569 --> 00:17:24,204
And it was never for the lifestyle.

510
00:17:24,234 --> 00:17:24,384
Yeah.

511
00:17:24,414 --> 00:17:26,214
This is just the way I am with you.

512
00:17:26,304 --> 00:17:26,394
Yeah.

513
00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:31,734
And that's why it's cool if we
get to have this life together.

514
00:17:32,274 --> 00:17:32,634
Yeah.

515
00:17:32,664 --> 00:17:37,764
I get to do this and this and I get
to partake in all of this fun, but

516
00:17:37,764 --> 00:17:41,394
I don't have to have the stress of
is it gonna hurt my relationship?

517
00:17:41,424 --> 00:17:45,894
You know what I'm, I know that there's
nothing that we can't talk about now, but

518
00:17:45,954 --> 00:17:46,374
yeah,

519
00:17:46,404 --> 00:17:48,204
it had us.

520
00:17:48,879 --> 00:17:52,449
It had to take us going
through the entire journey

521
00:17:52,714 --> 00:17:53,134
to get us

522
00:17:53,244 --> 00:17:55,629
here and from swinger to poly.

523
00:17:55,629 --> 00:17:57,099
Back to swinger again.

524
00:17:57,099 --> 00:17:57,249
Yeah.

525
00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:57,969
To get here

526
00:17:57,974 --> 00:18:01,989
and I, and I still think you still are
scared to have certain conversations

527
00:18:01,989 --> 00:18:03,429
with me, Absolutly.

528
00:18:03,429 --> 00:18:03,759
Yeah.

529
00:18:04,449 --> 00:18:04,659
Yeah.

530
00:18:04,719 --> 00:18:09,969
You are a very scary person to talk to
sometimes and I'm sure there's a lot

531
00:18:09,969 --> 00:18:13,959
of people out there who have talked
to you before and can agree with that.

532
00:18:14,019 --> 00:18:15,249
I'm not scary.

533
00:18:15,339 --> 00:18:15,519
You

534
00:18:15,519 --> 00:18:15,669
can be.

535
00:18:15,669 --> 00:18:17,294
I'm just very direct.

536
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:17,724
Yeah.

537
00:18:18,024 --> 00:18:23,094
And it's very uncomfortable for people to
get that directness, realistic, honest,

538
00:18:23,094 --> 00:18:24,444
and I just never want to hurt you.

539
00:18:24,474 --> 00:18:24,804
Yes.

540
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,484
That is really what for you.

541
00:18:26,484 --> 00:18:27,084
That's what it is.

542
00:18:27,084 --> 00:18:29,394
That's always been my thing
is I've never wanted to

543
00:18:29,394 --> 00:18:32,664
hurt, and whether we're in the lifestyle
or not, he can hurt my feelings.

544
00:18:32,664 --> 00:18:32,784
Yes.

545
00:18:32,784 --> 00:18:34,764
He can say somebody
looks prettier than me.

546
00:18:34,854 --> 00:18:35,064
Yeah.

547
00:18:35,064 --> 00:18:37,434
He never does, but someone looks
pretty and I'm like, oh my God,

548
00:18:37,434 --> 00:18:38,229
I didn't get the pretty today.

549
00:18:38,714 --> 00:18:38,984
Yeah.

550
00:18:39,044 --> 00:18:39,854
What the heck?

551
00:18:39,889 --> 00:18:40,179
Yeah.

552
00:18:40,424 --> 00:18:40,814
Yeah.

553
00:18:40,814 --> 00:18:42,254
He doesn't like to hurt my feelings.

554
00:18:43,304 --> 00:18:43,674
I don't like that.

555
00:18:43,674 --> 00:18:44,474
I don't like to hurt your feelings.

556
00:18:44,474 --> 00:18:45,164
No, I know.

557
00:18:45,314 --> 00:18:45,644
Yeah.

558
00:18:45,794 --> 00:18:46,424
But I do.

559
00:18:47,984 --> 00:18:48,024
Oh boy.

560
00:18:48,024 --> 00:18:48,034
Do

561
00:18:48,034 --> 00:18:48,044
you?

562
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:48,219
Yeah.

563
00:18:48,254 --> 00:18:49,814
I don't hurt his feelings
with the lifestyle.

564
00:18:49,814 --> 00:18:51,164
I hurt his feelings otherwise.

565
00:18:51,554 --> 00:18:51,974
Oh man.

566
00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:53,984
I just telling him no to something.

567
00:18:54,194 --> 00:18:54,224
Oh.

568
00:18:55,044 --> 00:18:55,344
No,

569
00:18:55,344 --> 00:18:55,734
we can't

570
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:56,094
have his

571
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:56,304
dust.

572
00:18:56,304 --> 00:18:59,244
See, this is becoming like a
backhanded thing over here.

573
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,414
But yeah, with me, you call me
out, but with you, it's, I'm

574
00:19:03,414 --> 00:19:04,704
gonna toss this back at him.

575
00:19:04,909 --> 00:19:05,649
I'm just kidding.

576
00:19:05,749 --> 00:19:07,009
Victim shaming right there.

577
00:19:07,009 --> 00:19:08,809
That's what that is just saying.

578
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:12,294
No, it was very, the
conversation was very.

579
00:19:13,404 --> 00:19:15,804
It was very cool to to figure it out.

580
00:19:15,804 --> 00:19:19,014
Now looking back on it, I
can hear us talking about

581
00:19:19,014 --> 00:19:19,104
it.

582
00:19:19,109 --> 00:19:21,834
Oh, I can see our red
flags all over the place.

583
00:19:21,834 --> 00:19:22,584
Looking back on it.

584
00:19:22,584 --> 00:19:22,974
Yeah.

585
00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:24,984
Like we were the couple

586
00:19:25,404 --> 00:19:26,754
that we tell people to avoid

587
00:19:26,759 --> 00:19:28,074
to, to avoid.

588
00:19:28,149 --> 00:19:29,649
To walk with

589
00:19:29,649 --> 00:19:30,909
that kind of person.

590
00:19:30,909 --> 00:19:33,399
We weren't bad for each other.

591
00:19:33,399 --> 00:19:35,289
We did not argue after playing.

592
00:19:35,289 --> 00:19:36,524
We did not feel that No.

593
00:19:36,524 --> 00:19:40,119
Our was, no, our thing was more
of an ignorance of the lifestyle.

594
00:19:40,149 --> 00:19:40,449
Yeah.

595
00:19:40,449 --> 00:19:43,539
And it's that new person
ignorance that everybody has.

596
00:19:43,539 --> 00:19:48,549
Uh, when they don't really know, they go
in with this, let's go find another woman.

597
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:48,764
Yeah.

598
00:19:49,629 --> 00:19:50,739
Somebody brought that up.

599
00:19:50,829 --> 00:19:51,159
Yeah,

600
00:19:51,429 --> 00:19:53,199
somebody brought that
up in one of our groups.

601
00:19:53,349 --> 00:19:57,399
Why is it that men, or why
is it that couples look for

602
00:19:57,399 --> 00:20:00,009
these single women right now?

603
00:20:00,069 --> 00:20:04,089
I didn't wanna write it on there, but
I'm gonna just say real quick, Uhhuh.

604
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:11,049
The reason for me to not be so hesitant
about being in the lifestyle was because

605
00:20:11,439 --> 00:20:14,769
I was gonna get more bisexual experiences.

606
00:20:15,099 --> 00:20:18,069
I didn't care if I had a guy.

607
00:20:19,239 --> 00:20:21,369
I sometimes don't even care now.

608
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:22,659
Sorry men.

609
00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:23,529
Love you.

610
00:20:23,919 --> 00:20:24,909
Y'all are awesome.

611
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,369
You provide something and great.

612
00:20:27,549 --> 00:20:30,849
But I want my, I have
great experiences with men.

613
00:20:30,849 --> 00:20:32,799
I want a, an experience with women.

614
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:35,919
So that is why we, some, we
in the beginning used to only

615
00:20:35,919 --> 00:20:37,449
look for a lot of females.

616
00:20:37,839 --> 00:20:38,139
Yeah.

617
00:20:38,139 --> 00:20:38,679
'
cause of that.

618
00:20:38,709 --> 00:20:39,039
Yeah.

619
00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:42,039
And my inexperience with everything.

620
00:20:42,459 --> 00:20:45,639
I could easily just sit back
and watch you do your thing.

621
00:20:46,089 --> 00:20:46,179
Mm-hmm.

622
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:46,419
And, but, and you

623
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:46,539
were

624
00:20:46,539 --> 00:20:47,169
fine with that?

625
00:20:47,169 --> 00:20:47,409
Yeah.

626
00:20:47,409 --> 00:20:50,649
And it, but it was never from
an insecurity standpoint, no.

627
00:20:50,739 --> 00:20:50,829
Mm-hmm.

628
00:20:50,859 --> 00:20:54,879
I never felt like you
would leave me for anybody.

629
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:54,939
No.

630
00:20:55,029 --> 00:20:55,659
Oh God.

631
00:20:55,749 --> 00:20:56,979
I've dated women anyway.

632
00:20:58,239 --> 00:21:02,979
No, but when it came to me, I think you
thought that I was gonna for a while

633
00:21:02,979 --> 00:21:04,719
there, like I was gonna leave you.

634
00:21:04,719 --> 00:21:05,229
Oh, oh yeah.

635
00:21:05,229 --> 00:21:07,179
Because I felt super insecure.

636
00:21:07,209 --> 00:21:07,899
Yeah.

637
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:07,959
Yeah.

638
00:21:08,139 --> 00:21:08,589
Now.

639
00:21:10,154 --> 00:21:10,989
Yeah, no.

640
00:21:11,499 --> 00:21:11,769
Yeah.

641
00:21:11,889 --> 00:21:13,239
I'd have to find another pri.

642
00:21:13,509 --> 00:21:13,689
No.

643
00:21:13,749 --> 00:21:14,709
Oh, there's no other.

644
00:21:15,009 --> 00:21:15,339
No.

645
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,389
I am unique.

646
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,379
I am one of a kind.

647
00:21:17,379 --> 00:21:17,709
I know

648
00:21:17,769 --> 00:21:20,469
there is no other, and I got
little mini versions of me,

649
00:21:20,949 --> 00:21:24,909
so I've always said this, and
we're gonna be together forever.

650
00:21:24,939 --> 00:21:26,559
So we are, this is not even a question.

651
00:21:26,559 --> 00:21:27,069
We are gonna be

652
00:21:27,069 --> 00:21:28,689
together forever, but
in a different world.

653
00:21:30,009 --> 00:21:31,299
If you ever died,

654
00:21:31,809 --> 00:21:32,049
yes.

655
00:21:32,409 --> 00:21:36,969
I would, sorry ladies, but I
would stop the lifestyle 100%.

656
00:21:36,999 --> 00:21:37,779
Oh, he's not allowed.

657
00:21:37,779 --> 00:21:39,219
I would go into mourning.

658
00:21:39,249 --> 00:21:39,489
Yes.

659
00:21:39,639 --> 00:21:41,709
I would never leave my domicile.

660
00:21:41,709 --> 00:21:42,009
No.

661
00:21:42,159 --> 00:21:43,959
I would stay in bed all the time.

662
00:21:43,959 --> 00:21:44,049
Yes.

663
00:21:44,109 --> 00:21:45,939
Never see another woman
till the day I die.

664
00:21:45,999 --> 00:21:46,509
Yes.

665
00:21:46,719 --> 00:21:47,499
That's if you died.

666
00:21:47,709 --> 00:21:48,189
Yes.

667
00:21:48,639 --> 00:21:49,749
Now, if you left me

668
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:50,709
Uhhuh,

669
00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:52,479
I would stay in the lifestyle

670
00:21:52,629 --> 00:21:52,659
Uhhuh

671
00:21:53,829 --> 00:21:55,329
and I'd bang it out a few times.

672
00:21:55,504 --> 00:21:55,664
Yeah.

673
00:21:55,869 --> 00:21:56,229
Yeah.

674
00:21:56,529 --> 00:21:57,609
I'd be that old guy.

675
00:21:57,729 --> 00:21:58,119
Yeah.

676
00:21:58,119 --> 00:21:59,319
I think if you left me.

677
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,399
If you left me,

678
00:22:00,489 --> 00:22:00,789
yeah.

679
00:22:01,329 --> 00:22:01,869
Yeah.

680
00:22:02,304 --> 00:22:05,184
No, you wouldn't be doing
anything if you left me.

681
00:22:06,264 --> 00:22:06,774
Sorry.

682
00:22:07,254 --> 00:22:11,184
If you left me, you wouldn't be
doing anything like that would be it.

683
00:22:11,724 --> 00:22:12,474
Oh, you wouldn't.

684
00:22:12,474 --> 00:22:14,004
Your life would be so miserable.

685
00:22:14,604 --> 00:22:14,814
Oh my gosh.

686
00:22:15,354 --> 00:22:16,704
I would make it so miserable.

687
00:22:16,704 --> 00:22:17,934
What did you leave before?

688
00:22:17,939 --> 00:22:18,234
Wait, wait.

689
00:22:19,734 --> 00:22:21,534
We're not coming up with stuff.

690
00:22:21,864 --> 00:22:22,134
No.

691
00:22:22,134 --> 00:22:22,794
Wait, what?

692
00:22:22,794 --> 00:22:23,874
Did you leave before?

693
00:22:23,874 --> 00:22:23,994
Stop

694
00:22:23,994 --> 00:22:24,054
it.

695
00:22:24,084 --> 00:22:25,494
No, we're not doing that.

696
00:22:25,494 --> 00:22:26,604
We're not doing that.

697
00:22:26,904 --> 00:22:28,974
This is where you say what?

698
00:22:28,974 --> 00:22:29,904
Ask me the question.

699
00:22:30,489 --> 00:22:31,299
Ask me the question.

700
00:22:31,299 --> 00:22:32,409
No, you asked me the question.

701
00:22:32,409 --> 00:22:33,159
What am I asking you?

702
00:22:33,279 --> 00:22:34,569
What am I leaving you for?

703
00:22:35,079 --> 00:22:35,859
What am I leaving you

704
00:22:35,859 --> 00:22:35,919
for?

705
00:22:35,919 --> 00:22:37,539
No, you're asking me

706
00:22:37,599 --> 00:22:38,679
what are you leaving me for?

707
00:22:38,709 --> 00:22:40,689
I would never leave you.

708
00:22:40,719 --> 00:22:41,649
That's what I was trying to say.

709
00:22:41,649 --> 00:22:45,249
But you got all scary and that's why I
can't have certain conversations with you.

710
00:22:45,549 --> 00:22:45,999
Do you see?

711
00:22:46,029 --> 00:22:48,459
Did you see, did you guys all see

712
00:22:48,519 --> 00:22:49,629
this is gonna be edited?

713
00:22:49,899 --> 00:22:50,829
No one saw anything?

714
00:22:50,919 --> 00:22:51,759
Oh, hell no.

715
00:22:51,759 --> 00:22:53,139
Not because I'm the one that edits.

716
00:22:53,154 --> 00:22:54,264
It's getting put in.

717
00:22:54,324 --> 00:22:57,354
I think if I, if you ever
left me, no, I would not.

718
00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:58,809
You wouldn't be in the
lifestyle if I liked you

719
00:22:58,809 --> 00:23:01,074
Probably, but I would
really take advantage of it.

720
00:23:01,734 --> 00:23:02,154
How's that?

721
00:23:02,664 --> 00:23:03,564
I wouldn't work.

722
00:23:04,944 --> 00:23:06,624
Somebody would be paying for something.

723
00:23:06,714 --> 00:23:07,374
Oh wow.

724
00:23:07,614 --> 00:23:08,784
And I'd be traveling.

725
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:10,614
Goodness gracious.

726
00:23:10,614 --> 00:23:10,884
No.

727
00:23:10,884 --> 00:23:12,744
So I keep you from an awful lot.

728
00:23:13,404 --> 00:23:15,444
I keep you from a Kim Kardashian life.

729
00:23:15,444 --> 00:23:16,614
That marriage live.

730
00:23:16,614 --> 00:23:18,444
Be real struggling right now.

731
00:23:18,444 --> 00:23:18,939
What's Dang

732
00:23:19,169 --> 00:23:19,459
girl.

733
00:23:20,159 --> 00:23:20,379
Wow.

734
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,309
I sure am glad you don't
feel that way right now.

735
00:23:24,309 --> 00:23:28,089
Baby, you and I are gonna be so at home.

736
00:23:28,179 --> 00:23:29,889
Watch you and I together.

737
00:23:29,889 --> 00:23:31,029
We're a good team, babes.

738
00:23:31,089 --> 00:23:31,149
Yeah,

739
00:23:31,599 --> 00:23:32,469
we're a great team.

740
00:23:32,469 --> 00:23:32,769
We are

741
00:23:32,769 --> 00:23:33,159
a good team.

742
00:23:33,219 --> 00:23:34,684
See our people like it.

743
00:23:35,744 --> 00:23:36,524
It works out.

744
00:23:37,179 --> 00:23:39,159
You see in real life, guys.

745
00:23:39,279 --> 00:23:39,549
Yeah.

746
00:23:39,579 --> 00:23:39,609
Okay.

747
00:23:40,599 --> 00:23:41,139
All right.

748
00:23:42,069 --> 00:23:43,059
Your hair looks good, I'll tell you.

749
00:23:43,059 --> 00:23:43,689
Thank you.

750
00:23:43,779 --> 00:23:43,989
Yeah.

751
00:23:44,079 --> 00:23:46,119
We should give them some tips for success.

752
00:23:46,719 --> 00:23:47,829
Tips for success.

753
00:23:47,949 --> 00:23:47,979
Okay.

754
00:23:47,979 --> 00:23:51,639
What's something like you
should always like do?

755
00:23:53,229 --> 00:23:54,369
When it comes to

756
00:23:54,369 --> 00:23:57,189
asking this conversa, having
the conversation, right?

757
00:23:57,339 --> 00:23:59,709
Oh, so y'all have already sat down.

758
00:24:00,219 --> 00:24:00,519
That's

759
00:24:00,519 --> 00:24:00,609
the

760
00:24:00,609 --> 00:24:01,149
first thing.

761
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:05,889
You're having a nice romantic dinner,
or you're Netflix and chilling, right?

762
00:24:05,889 --> 00:24:08,199
And you're on the couch or on the bed and

763
00:24:08,469 --> 00:24:08,859
yeah,

764
00:24:09,099 --> 00:24:14,469
you've decided, Hey Boo Bear,
we're gonna have this conversation

765
00:24:14,469 --> 00:24:17,829
that we didn't wanna have earlier
because the kids were with us.

766
00:24:17,829 --> 00:24:18,609
We were our levels.

767
00:24:18,609 --> 00:24:19,599
Were up here.

768
00:24:19,749 --> 00:24:19,959
Yeah,

769
00:24:20,199 --> 00:24:20,864
we're here now.

770
00:24:21,564 --> 00:24:22,404
The preamble.

771
00:24:23,724 --> 00:24:25,794
Are you cool with having
that conversation?

772
00:24:26,094 --> 00:24:26,904
The preamble?

773
00:24:26,934 --> 00:24:27,294
Yeah.

774
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:27,509
Yeah.

775
00:24:27,714 --> 00:24:34,584
You gotta start it somewhere and
you cannot interrupt my A DHD.

776
00:24:35,214 --> 00:24:35,664
Yeah,

777
00:24:36,204 --> 00:24:37,154
my, that's right.

778
00:24:37,824 --> 00:24:39,744
I must be right all the time people.

779
00:24:40,224 --> 00:24:41,934
Oh yeah, that's, I guess that's me.

780
00:24:41,934 --> 00:24:43,854
We cannot interrupt.

781
00:24:43,854 --> 00:24:47,274
We have to listen with our hearts.

782
00:24:47,304 --> 00:24:47,634
Yeah.

783
00:24:47,639 --> 00:24:47,789
Yeah.

784
00:24:48,699 --> 00:24:52,959
And be open and understand and
let the person, your partner,

785
00:24:52,959 --> 00:24:57,069
finish the conversation until
it's open for you to come in.

786
00:24:57,339 --> 00:25:00,939
And it may hurt and it may be
an uncomfortable conversation.

787
00:25:00,969 --> 00:25:01,179
Yeah.

788
00:25:01,629 --> 00:25:03,999
But you have to leave that at the door.

789
00:25:03,999 --> 00:25:05,034
I know that you, yeah.

790
00:25:05,054 --> 00:25:08,019
You experience those emotions
and a lot of people are reactive.

791
00:25:08,049 --> 00:25:09,194
You're very reactive.

792
00:25:09,494 --> 00:25:09,844
I'm very reactive.

793
00:25:10,029 --> 00:25:13,179
So the moment I tell you
something, you react.

794
00:25:13,269 --> 00:25:14,259
I'm very reactive.

795
00:25:14,259 --> 00:25:14,529
Yes.

796
00:25:14,529 --> 00:25:18,249
As opposed to me, where you tell me
something, I sit by, absorb it, I

797
00:25:18,249 --> 00:25:20,319
think about it, and then I respond.

798
00:25:20,469 --> 00:25:20,679
Yeah.

799
00:25:20,774 --> 00:25:20,994
By

800
00:25:21,114 --> 00:25:22,674
that time, I've already processed and

801
00:25:22,674 --> 00:25:26,589
I'm also also a very jealous person and.

802
00:25:27,219 --> 00:25:28,779
Those feelings are gonna come out.

803
00:25:28,779 --> 00:25:29,109
Yeah.

804
00:25:29,679 --> 00:25:29,919
Yeah.

805
00:25:29,919 --> 00:25:31,599
So you do your preamble.

806
00:25:31,599 --> 00:25:31,689
Mm-hmm.

807
00:25:31,929 --> 00:25:36,129
You say everything that you need to say,
and then you prepare yourself for a no.

808
00:25:36,519 --> 00:25:39,159
You prepare yourself for a bad answer.

809
00:25:39,159 --> 00:25:39,219
Yeah.

810
00:25:39,219 --> 00:25:43,089
Prepare yourself for whatever you think
is gonna be the worst case scenario.

811
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:43,659
There you go.

812
00:25:44,019 --> 00:25:49,959
And this way you're prepared for it
because if you have a preparation of that.

813
00:25:50,859 --> 00:25:54,609
The worst case scenario, you're
gonna be calm, you're gonna be

814
00:25:54,609 --> 00:25:55,984
able to handle it because mm-hmm.

815
00:25:56,064 --> 00:25:57,279
You've already thought about it.

816
00:25:57,279 --> 00:25:57,369
Mm-hmm.

817
00:25:57,609 --> 00:26:02,919
That's important because if it goes
better than your worst case scenario,

818
00:26:02,919 --> 00:26:05,139
then it's already like three points ahead.

819
00:26:05,139 --> 00:26:05,199
Yeah.

820
00:26:05,229 --> 00:26:06,639
Like you're already doing good.

821
00:26:06,969 --> 00:26:07,269
Yeah.

822
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:08,319
And plan it out.

823
00:26:08,319 --> 00:26:08,949
So yeah,

824
00:26:09,069 --> 00:26:09,789
plan it out.

825
00:26:09,849 --> 00:26:13,149
You're gonna have to talk about respect.

826
00:26:13,569 --> 00:26:14,499
You need to have

827
00:26:14,559 --> 00:26:14,769
boundaries.

828
00:26:14,919 --> 00:26:16,209
I'm gonna tell you newbies.

829
00:26:16,839 --> 00:26:20,289
Have rules and have boundaries in place.

830
00:26:20,319 --> 00:26:20,739
Yes.

831
00:26:21,099 --> 00:26:22,539
Do not go in saying

832
00:26:24,729 --> 00:26:26,469
whatever we're gonna do whatever.

833
00:26:26,474 --> 00:26:26,654
Yeah.

834
00:26:26,829 --> 00:26:28,119
We're just gonna do No,

835
00:26:28,179 --> 00:26:29,289
we're just gonna go with it.

836
00:26:29,294 --> 00:26:29,709
No, no.

837
00:26:29,709 --> 00:26:30,729
Start slow.

838
00:26:31,269 --> 00:26:33,189
The lifestyle isn't going anywhere.

839
00:26:33,729 --> 00:26:38,499
Those, that couple that you saw that
was hot, they're not gonna go anywhere.

840
00:26:38,499 --> 00:26:40,329
And if they do, there's another one like.

841
00:26:41,079 --> 00:26:41,919
Set your rules.

842
00:26:41,919 --> 00:26:43,029
Set your boundaries.

843
00:26:43,029 --> 00:26:44,139
Know what you want.

844
00:26:44,169 --> 00:26:45,399
Know what you like.

845
00:26:45,399 --> 00:26:47,109
Know what's off the table.

846
00:26:47,829 --> 00:26:49,479
Have a safe word.

847
00:26:49,779 --> 00:26:50,229
Yeah.

848
00:26:50,289 --> 00:26:53,349
Be cool with being cool.

849
00:26:54,309 --> 00:26:54,699
Yeah,

850
00:26:54,819 --> 00:26:55,209
for sure.

851
00:26:55,209 --> 00:26:58,329
Be cool with being the one to
say, Hey, I'm not feeling it.

852
00:26:58,329 --> 00:26:59,349
Let, can we leave?

853
00:26:59,499 --> 00:27:01,899
There have been many times
where I have been in the groove

854
00:27:01,959 --> 00:27:03,429
and he's just not feeling.

855
00:27:03,864 --> 00:27:05,124
Feeling that and he, let's go.

856
00:27:05,129 --> 00:27:05,724
I'm like, yeah, gotta

857
00:27:05,724 --> 00:27:06,024
split.

858
00:27:06,024 --> 00:27:06,084
I'm

859
00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:10,164
like, and there was many times
where I'm like, let's go.

860
00:27:10,284 --> 00:27:10,434
Yeah.

861
00:27:10,584 --> 00:27:11,724
Speak just because.

862
00:27:11,754 --> 00:27:21,894
So have your rules, have your boundaries,
have everything set and take baby steps.

863
00:27:21,984 --> 00:27:22,734
Absolutely.

864
00:27:23,064 --> 00:27:23,844
There's no rush.

865
00:27:23,874 --> 00:27:24,984
There is no rush.

866
00:27:24,984 --> 00:27:26,094
Do not run in there.

867
00:27:26,154 --> 00:27:26,424
No.

868
00:27:26,574 --> 00:27:28,014
You'll get your experiences.

869
00:27:28,014 --> 00:27:28,074
Yeah.

870
00:27:28,494 --> 00:27:30,864
And when you, if you take your time.

871
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:32,829
And you find the right people.

872
00:27:32,829 --> 00:27:35,979
I know that some at sometimes it
feels like you'll never find them.

873
00:27:36,399 --> 00:27:37,269
They're out there.

874
00:27:37,329 --> 00:27:37,959
We thought that

875
00:27:37,959 --> 00:27:42,249
every single person that enters
this lifestyle thinks at one point

876
00:27:42,249 --> 00:27:46,419
or another that they're just not
gonna find what they're looking for.

877
00:27:46,479 --> 00:27:46,569
Mm-hmm.

878
00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:47,914
And then eventually it happens.

879
00:27:47,914 --> 00:27:48,194
Mm-hmm.

880
00:27:48,429 --> 00:27:49,719
It just takes some time.

881
00:27:49,719 --> 00:27:53,409
You really have to find, take
your time and find your quality

882
00:27:53,409 --> 00:27:55,359
people like that's so important.

883
00:27:55,779 --> 00:27:57,069
And go with your gut feeling.

884
00:27:57,279 --> 00:27:58,419
Go with your gut feeling.

885
00:27:58,539 --> 00:27:59,619
If you feel something's off.

886
00:28:00,129 --> 00:28:00,909
Go with that.

887
00:28:00,939 --> 00:28:01,239
Yeah.

888
00:28:01,269 --> 00:28:02,799
Don't second guess yourself.

889
00:28:02,889 --> 00:28:03,279
Yeah.

890
00:28:03,309 --> 00:28:05,229
Think with your head on your shoulders.

891
00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:06,009
Yeah.

892
00:28:06,009 --> 00:28:07,869
That's hard to do when you're new.

893
00:28:08,079 --> 00:28:08,379
Yeah.

894
00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:11,679
But definitely try and be
as logical as possible.

895
00:28:11,679 --> 00:28:11,769
Mm-hmm.

896
00:28:12,369 --> 00:28:16,119
If you think with your
genitals, forget it.

897
00:28:16,239 --> 00:28:16,869
Privates,

898
00:28:17,289 --> 00:28:17,524
it's not gonna work.

899
00:28:17,524 --> 00:28:17,644
They're

900
00:28:17,739 --> 00:28:18,099
not very

901
00:28:18,099 --> 00:28:18,399
smart.

902
00:28:18,404 --> 00:28:18,684
It's not gonna work.

903
00:28:19,514 --> 00:28:20,204
It's not gonna work.

904
00:28:21,554 --> 00:28:21,844
Also.

905
00:28:23,169 --> 00:28:26,139
Remember that consent is everything.

906
00:28:26,259 --> 00:28:27,459
Consent is sexy.

907
00:28:27,609 --> 00:28:29,109
Consent is sexy.

908
00:28:29,139 --> 00:28:30,669
Consent is very sexy.

909
00:28:30,849 --> 00:28:31,929
Need consent for everything.

910
00:28:32,169 --> 00:28:32,349
Yeah.

911
00:28:32,379 --> 00:28:33,039
Consent.

912
00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:36,249
If, if y'all's rule between y'all
is, Hey, I'm gonna ask you for

913
00:28:36,249 --> 00:28:37,839
permission to go kiss somebody.

914
00:28:37,929 --> 00:28:38,199
Yeah.

915
00:28:38,259 --> 00:28:38,289
Or.

916
00:28:39,249 --> 00:28:42,639
I'm gonna ask you whatever,
and it's not even asking, Hey,

917
00:28:42,759 --> 00:28:44,229
our rules are to touch base.

918
00:28:44,319 --> 00:28:48,069
So like for Adam and I, if we play
separately, our rules are if you're

919
00:28:48,069 --> 00:28:50,679
gone for more than two hours and I
haven't made eye contact with you,

920
00:28:50,679 --> 00:28:54,069
or none of my girls have made eye
contact with you, we have a problem.

921
00:28:54,699 --> 00:28:54,969
Yeah,

922
00:28:55,119 --> 00:28:57,639
a matter of a text, pick up your phone
if you're in the middle of something

923
00:28:57,639 --> 00:28:59,229
and be like, Hey, I'm over here.

924
00:28:59,229 --> 00:28:59,979
I'm good.

925
00:29:00,309 --> 00:29:01,209
Whatever.

926
00:29:01,209 --> 00:29:02,019
Because.

927
00:29:02,874 --> 00:29:06,594
I don't want him to be distracted and
go look for me, and I, he doesn't want

928
00:29:06,594 --> 00:29:08,244
me to be distracted and go look for him.

929
00:29:08,424 --> 00:29:10,239
Touch base, have rules, touch base.

930
00:29:10,239 --> 00:29:12,954
And that's the thing is we're always
talking about consent with others.

931
00:29:13,014 --> 00:29:13,374
Yes.

932
00:29:13,404 --> 00:29:15,799
But really consent between your partners.

933
00:29:15,799 --> 00:29:16,119
Consent

934
00:29:16,119 --> 00:29:16,529
between your partner

935
00:29:16,824 --> 00:29:17,904
is just as big.

936
00:29:17,904 --> 00:29:22,434
And so you shouldn't be doing stuff
without your partner's knowledge.

937
00:29:22,494 --> 00:29:22,884
Yes.

938
00:29:22,944 --> 00:29:26,154
You really need to make sure
that they're on board and Okay.

939
00:29:26,844 --> 00:29:29,784
Even if they tell you they're
okay, they may still not be okay.

940
00:29:29,814 --> 00:29:30,579
Oh, I'm so like that.

941
00:29:30,579 --> 00:29:30,819
That's

942
00:29:30,819 --> 00:29:31,499
something you've gotta remember.

943
00:29:31,614 --> 00:29:33,144
I'm very, what is that called?

944
00:29:33,149 --> 00:29:33,619
Passive aggressive.

945
00:29:33,619 --> 00:29:33,979
Not passive aggressive.

946
00:29:33,979 --> 00:29:34,699
I Passive aggressive.

947
00:29:34,699 --> 00:29:35,019
Aggressive.

948
00:29:35,019 --> 00:29:35,379
Passive aggressive.

949
00:29:35,384 --> 00:29:36,384
After I hear what happened.

950
00:29:37,059 --> 00:29:38,259
I'm like, oh, it didn't bother me.

951
00:29:38,259 --> 00:29:40,209
And then 10 minutes
later I'm like, whatever

952
00:29:40,689 --> 00:29:41,439
it comes out on it.

953
00:29:41,439 --> 00:29:41,979
Whatever.

954
00:29:42,009 --> 00:29:42,399
Anyway,

955
00:29:43,204 --> 00:29:43,494
okay.

956
00:29:44,529 --> 00:29:47,589
Remember that Ethical non-monogamy.

957
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:51,369
It only works if both people
are genuinely on board.

958
00:29:51,399 --> 00:29:51,489
Yes.

959
00:29:51,489 --> 00:29:55,479
So that means if I was not ready for
this, we would not be doing this.

960
00:29:55,639 --> 00:29:56,809
And vice versa.

961
00:29:56,809 --> 00:29:59,509
And you shouldn't be trying
to convince your spouse.

962
00:29:59,509 --> 00:29:59,659
Do not.

963
00:29:59,659 --> 00:30:00,979
If it's a no, it's a no.

964
00:30:01,879 --> 00:30:02,119
Yeah.

965
00:30:02,119 --> 00:30:04,039
And you just kinda gotta accept that.

966
00:30:04,039 --> 00:30:07,129
Now if they say no, but
we can talk about it more.

967
00:30:07,249 --> 00:30:07,699
Yeah.

968
00:30:07,699 --> 00:30:08,809
Then talk about it more.

969
00:30:08,809 --> 00:30:09,859
It's just one of those things.

970
00:30:09,859 --> 00:30:14,119
It's if you're both not on the same
page, if you're both not ready to

971
00:30:14,119 --> 00:30:15,979
take that leap, it's not gonna be

972
00:30:16,039 --> 00:30:16,519
exactly

973
00:30:16,879 --> 00:30:17,209
good.

974
00:30:17,299 --> 00:30:17,839
Exactly.

975
00:30:18,049 --> 00:30:18,319
Yeah.

976
00:30:18,409 --> 00:30:22,739
But I will also say on the
other side of that Uhhuh, that.

977
00:30:23,529 --> 00:30:28,599
Sometimes you have to have the experience
in order to know that you don't like it.

978
00:30:29,919 --> 00:30:30,639
This is true,

979
00:30:31,269 --> 00:30:32,919
and I know I've said that to you before.

980
00:30:32,949 --> 00:30:34,029
No, this is true.

981
00:30:34,029 --> 00:30:35,289
Yeah, that's very true.

982
00:30:35,559 --> 00:30:36,284
Yeah, we'll leave it there.

983
00:30:36,284 --> 00:30:37,509
So that's something to keep in mind.

984
00:30:37,569 --> 00:30:37,779
Yeah.

985
00:30:37,809 --> 00:30:42,999
You both gotta be on board, but one thing
you gotta keep in mind is you don't know.

986
00:30:43,004 --> 00:30:43,014
Mm-hmm.

987
00:30:43,084 --> 00:30:43,929
If you don't like it.

988
00:30:43,929 --> 00:30:43,939
Mm-hmm.

989
00:30:43,964 --> 00:30:45,339
If you don't dry it, you know what I mean?

990
00:30:45,819 --> 00:30:46,239
And.

991
00:30:46,779 --> 00:30:48,699
I try to adhere to that myself.

992
00:30:48,849 --> 00:30:49,269
Yeah, it's okay.

993
00:30:49,299 --> 00:30:49,659
We'll see.

994
00:30:49,929 --> 00:30:50,379
Who knows?

995
00:30:50,589 --> 00:30:50,859
Yeah.

996
00:30:50,859 --> 00:30:50,869
Yeah.

997
00:30:51,159 --> 00:30:51,789
This is fun.

998
00:30:51,879 --> 00:30:55,569
So that's your first lifestyle
1 0 1 quickie, having the

999
00:30:55,569 --> 00:30:57,519
talk with your partner.

1000
00:30:57,999 --> 00:31:01,839
So remember, this isn't a one time
chat, and it's gonna be going on and on.

1001
00:31:01,839 --> 00:31:04,719
You're gonna have those conversations
well into your years in it.

1002
00:31:05,199 --> 00:31:06,879
So it's gonna be repetitive.

1003
00:31:07,029 --> 00:31:08,409
Understand that, right?

1004
00:31:08,409 --> 00:31:11,829
The goal isn't to win or
convince your partner.

1005
00:31:12,369 --> 00:31:14,139
It's to stay honest and connected.

1006
00:31:14,139 --> 00:31:15,669
So make sure that you're doing that.

1007
00:31:15,669 --> 00:31:18,219
Yeah, because that's
all that matters really.

1008
00:31:18,759 --> 00:31:19,149
Yeah.

1009
00:31:19,629 --> 00:31:24,369
And if this helps, do us a
favor, like, subscribe, share.

1010
00:31:24,879 --> 00:31:26,199
Leave us a review.

1011
00:31:26,589 --> 00:31:30,819
We're on Apple Podcast,
Spotify, Amazon Music, Pandora,

1012
00:31:30,819 --> 00:31:33,609
iHeartRadio, YouTube, you name it.

1013
00:31:33,909 --> 00:31:34,389
We are on.

1014
00:31:35,424 --> 00:31:39,894
You can also find us streaming
every Thursday at 1:00 PM and 6:00

1015
00:31:39,894 --> 00:31:43,644
PM Central on full swap radio.com.

1016
00:31:43,704 --> 00:31:47,844
Yes, so don't forget to check us
out on all our community spaces.

1017
00:31:47,844 --> 00:31:50,454
We're on Reddit, and of
course we're on Discord.

1018
00:31:50,454 --> 00:31:51,684
So we have groups on both.

1019
00:31:51,924 --> 00:31:54,984
We love connecting with
all of you off the mics.

1020
00:31:54,984 --> 00:31:55,794
Go find us.

1021
00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:57,024
Yeah, for sure.

1022
00:31:57,294 --> 00:32:01,734
And we've got a big giveaway
happening right now, starting today.

1023
00:32:02,589 --> 00:32:03,999
September 10th.

1024
00:32:04,179 --> 00:32:04,299
Mm-hmm.

1025
00:32:04,539 --> 00:32:08,979
Every new review you leave enters
you into a drawing to win a

1026
00:32:08,979 --> 00:32:10,959
sex toy from Forbidden Fruit.

1027
00:32:11,934 --> 00:32:16,434
Which if you didn't hear us last time,
they're an Austin sex store that's

1028
00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:19,284
been in the community since 1981.

1029
00:32:19,284 --> 00:32:19,464
Mm-hmm.

1030
00:32:19,464 --> 00:32:20,184
It's been there forever.

1031
00:32:21,114 --> 00:32:21,474
Yeah.

1032
00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:26,064
So this giveaway's gonna run all
the way through to September 30th.

1033
00:32:26,754 --> 00:32:27,834
Each entry is.

1034
00:32:28,944 --> 00:32:29,154
A review.

1035
00:32:29,154 --> 00:32:33,324
So say you leave a review on every
one of our platforms that we're on,

1036
00:32:33,354 --> 00:32:34,824
you get in that drawing that many times.

1037
00:32:34,824 --> 00:32:35,694
That many times.

1038
00:32:35,694 --> 00:32:35,874
Awesome.

1039
00:32:35,904 --> 00:32:36,714
Which is pretty cool.

1040
00:32:36,714 --> 00:32:37,764
So then you gonna, you increase your

1041
00:32:37,764 --> 00:32:39,054
ups, when are you gonna
announce the winner?

1042
00:32:39,264 --> 00:32:44,034
The winner will get announced on
our quickie episode on October 1st.

1043
00:32:44,034 --> 00:32:44,064
Oh.

1044
00:32:44,274 --> 00:32:45,654
Along with our socials.

1045
00:32:45,654 --> 00:32:46,854
We will contact you.

1046
00:32:46,944 --> 00:32:47,604
Oh my goodness.

1047
00:32:47,604 --> 00:32:51,504
And if you live out of our range,
we will have it shipped to you.

1048
00:32:51,564 --> 00:32:52,734
Those are details right there.

1049
00:32:52,764 --> 00:32:53,604
Those are details.

1050
00:32:53,609 --> 00:32:53,839
Okay.

1051
00:32:53,964 --> 00:32:53,994
Okay.

1052
00:32:54,024 --> 00:32:55,359
But again, 'em, I'm all about the details.

1053
00:32:55,719 --> 00:32:58,599
So remember guys, give us those
reviews 'cause you're gonna

1054
00:32:58,599 --> 00:33:00,639
want to win some of this merch.

1055
00:33:00,789 --> 00:33:05,709
Keep hanging with us online and keep those
conversations going with your partner.

1056
00:33:05,919 --> 00:33:11,199
That is 100% real because a lifestyle
isn't just about sex, it's about

1057
00:33:11,199 --> 00:33:16,072
honesty, connection, and building the
kind of relationship you actually want.

1058
00:33:16,162 --> 00:33:19,312
Hello and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

1059
00:33:19,492 --> 00:33:19,972
I'm Adam.

1060
00:33:19,972 --> 00:33:20,822
And I'm Pris.

1061
00:33:21,172 --> 00:33:26,272
And today, normally my beautiful wife is
the one who introduces the show topic,

1062
00:33:26,272 --> 00:33:28,372
but she has no idea what we are doing.

1063
00:33:28,372 --> 00:33:29,992
I just barely told her.

1064
00:33:30,262 --> 00:33:33,022
If you've been to our
website, there is the Beyond.

1065
00:33:33,102 --> 00:33:34,572
Monogamy confessional.

1066
00:33:34,572 --> 00:33:37,517
It is 100% anonymous, 100% anonymous.

1067
00:33:37,752 --> 00:33:41,262
And we don't even know, like we
can't even see if there's an, an

1068
00:33:41,262 --> 00:33:42,672
email attached to it or whatever.

1069
00:33:42,912 --> 00:33:46,812
And so when we went live with
this, we got a few stories, uh,

1070
00:33:46,812 --> 00:33:50,652
that came up and I wanted to read
them on the air and discuss 'em.

1071
00:33:51,042 --> 00:33:54,432
Uh, because we, we got a couple
that we can, we can talk about here.

1072
00:33:54,852 --> 00:33:58,357
And I really love it when
our listeners interact.

1073
00:33:59,452 --> 00:34:00,832
And, and we're just gonna do this.

1074
00:34:00,892 --> 00:34:02,332
We're just gonna do this, guys.

1075
00:34:02,542 --> 00:34:03,292
You know what I'm saying?

1076
00:34:03,472 --> 00:34:04,222
So let's do this.

1077
00:34:04,642 --> 00:34:05,842
Uh, we're gonna get right into it.

1078
00:34:05,902 --> 00:34:08,497
Like I said, for those
who are just tuning in.

1079
00:34:09,307 --> 00:34:14,167
We have on our website 100% anonymous
beyond monogamy, confessional, where

1080
00:34:14,167 --> 00:34:18,427
you can leave your stories, your
questions, anything that you want

1081
00:34:18,427 --> 00:34:22,117
to talk about lifestyle related, if
you want to say anything about our

1082
00:34:22,117 --> 00:34:24,937
podcast, whatever, it's there for you.

1083
00:34:25,147 --> 00:34:27,622
And so here's the very
first one that we got.

1084
00:34:28,212 --> 00:34:30,762
This one says, Hey yo, let's dive in.

1085
00:34:30,762 --> 00:34:34,782
Been debating on leaving the lifestyle
community since participation

1086
00:34:34,782 --> 00:34:38,832
has been at an all time low ever
since we joined the community.

1087
00:34:39,042 --> 00:34:42,612
Such great people, but it's definitely
a different crowd than expected.

1088
00:34:42,852 --> 00:34:47,082
We have met plenty of great people and
hope to stay friends with them and we can.

1089
00:34:47,407 --> 00:34:50,317
Just play outside of the
community like we did before.

1090
00:34:50,467 --> 00:34:53,167
It's been hard to find couples
we are both attracted to and

1091
00:34:53,167 --> 00:34:55,417
singles are far from available.

1092
00:34:55,417 --> 00:34:59,167
Plus, finding mutual attraction
interest wise from the other

1093
00:34:59,167 --> 00:35:00,907
couples is always lopsided.

1094
00:35:01,177 --> 00:35:03,277
Hopefully this feeling
will pass, but if not.

1095
00:35:03,352 --> 00:35:06,952
Then it has been fun getting to
experience something different for a bit.

1096
00:35:07,132 --> 00:35:08,032
What do you think about that, honey?

1097
00:35:08,062 --> 00:35:09,862
I think why not?

1098
00:35:10,012 --> 00:35:14,512
I mean, you're already playing outside
of the community like you've done before.

1099
00:35:14,512 --> 00:35:18,262
And if it's hard for you to find
couples that you're both attracted

1100
00:35:18,262 --> 00:35:24,382
to, I think you're going in there
with that kind of mental mentality

1101
00:35:24,382 --> 00:35:26,092
that it's, it's gonna be hard for you.

1102
00:35:26,152 --> 00:35:29,932
And if you let things just
happen organically, you probably

1103
00:35:29,932 --> 00:35:30,697
wouldn't have this message.

1104
00:35:31,642 --> 00:35:34,792
So I think you're, you're probably
doing something right, you know,

1105
00:35:34,792 --> 00:35:36,232
backing away for a little bit.

1106
00:35:36,382 --> 00:35:37,642
I think that's a, you know,

1107
00:35:37,672 --> 00:35:40,582
I mean, really there's,
there's no wrong way to do

1108
00:35:40,582 --> 00:35:40,672
this.

1109
00:35:40,672 --> 00:35:41,002
Yeah.

1110
00:35:41,002 --> 00:35:41,692
There really isn't.

1111
00:35:41,697 --> 00:35:43,762
And, and so like I can say,
oh, you're doing a good job.

1112
00:35:43,762 --> 00:35:45,292
And I can say, mm,
that's really a bad idea.

1113
00:35:45,472 --> 00:35:45,712
Yeah.

1114
00:35:45,712 --> 00:35:49,102
I mean, it's, it's person to person
and understand that the decision that

1115
00:35:49,102 --> 00:35:53,212
you're making, whatever the decision may
be, it's, if, if you're happy with the

1116
00:35:53,212 --> 00:35:54,982
decision, then it's the right decision.

1117
00:35:55,042 --> 00:35:58,432
Now, I will say a couple of things
just to think about in passing.

1118
00:35:58,987 --> 00:36:01,957
I don't know how long you've
been in the lifestyle.

1119
00:36:02,137 --> 00:36:04,147
For us, we've been in for 14 years now.

1120
00:36:04,147 --> 00:36:05,317
I will say this.

1121
00:36:05,407 --> 00:36:09,667
The first few years, all I was
trying to do was get experiences.

1122
00:36:09,727 --> 00:36:13,177
I wasn't really, I wasn't
really searching for friendship.

1123
00:36:13,177 --> 00:36:15,217
I wasn't really searching for connections.

1124
00:36:15,217 --> 00:36:16,447
I was just trying to get.

1125
00:36:16,767 --> 00:36:17,787
Experiences in.

1126
00:36:17,847 --> 00:36:21,747
And so when I finally did get my
experiences in, that's when I realized

1127
00:36:21,747 --> 00:36:25,287
a lot of my experiences that I had
would've been a lot better with people

1128
00:36:25,287 --> 00:36:27,237
that I actually liked and connected with.

1129
00:36:27,267 --> 00:36:32,367
Now, it took me a long time to actually
find people that I could like and connect

1130
00:36:32,367 --> 00:36:36,057
with, and I mean years, and that's
for a couple of different reasons.

1131
00:36:36,062 --> 00:36:36,152
One.

1132
00:36:37,267 --> 00:36:38,707
I didn't know really where to find them.

1133
00:36:38,737 --> 00:36:42,037
Uh, there was a lot of different
places and frankly, I am cheap

1134
00:36:42,037 --> 00:36:43,477
and I don't like to pay for 'em.

1135
00:36:43,867 --> 00:36:46,597
Uh, so that was a, a difficulty for me.

1136
00:36:46,597 --> 00:36:50,017
Where we found a great community
was in Facebook communities,

1137
00:36:50,107 --> 00:36:55,627
Facebook groups, but we also found
that, uh, sdc.com has a, a great

1138
00:36:55,717 --> 00:36:57,967
communities in, in different locales.

1139
00:36:58,387 --> 00:37:01,957
Um, and, and so that's always a, a
great way of, of meeting people as well.

1140
00:37:02,077 --> 00:37:03,607
I think the big thing is.

1141
00:37:03,982 --> 00:37:06,112
Don't have expectations.

1142
00:37:06,172 --> 00:37:10,042
Meet who you want and, and see
if there's any kind of vibe.

1143
00:37:10,042 --> 00:37:14,062
Go out on dates and, and meet up with
people for dinner or for drinks or

1144
00:37:14,062 --> 00:37:18,832
whatever, and get an idea of who they
are and if it, you know, by the third

1145
00:37:18,982 --> 00:37:23,722
conversation or by even the third date,
if there's just no vibe or even before

1146
00:37:23,722 --> 00:37:25,587
that, then say, I'm sorry, but this isn't.

1147
00:37:26,137 --> 00:37:28,867
This isn't for us and
move on to the next one.

1148
00:37:29,017 --> 00:37:31,597
You know, you can really, I know
it takes a lot, but you can really

1149
00:37:31,597 --> 00:37:36,187
kind of make your way through it
and eventually you will find people.

1150
00:37:36,757 --> 00:37:38,317
That mesh up with you?

1151
00:37:38,677 --> 00:37:38,767
Yeah.

1152
00:37:38,767 --> 00:37:42,187
Like I said, we've been in this for 14
years and it's probably been the last

1153
00:37:42,337 --> 00:37:45,907
four that I have started finding people.

1154
00:37:46,837 --> 00:37:46,927
Yeah.

1155
00:37:46,927 --> 00:37:47,707
That mesh with me.

1156
00:37:47,797 --> 00:37:48,007
Yeah.

1157
00:37:48,007 --> 00:37:49,927
And, and a lot of it was because of me.

1158
00:37:49,927 --> 00:37:50,887
I didn't know where to go.

1159
00:37:50,887 --> 00:37:51,847
I didn't know where to find it.

1160
00:37:52,237 --> 00:37:55,687
Uh, and I also didn't know how to
properly socialize with these people.

1161
00:37:55,687 --> 00:37:57,757
I didn't know how to put myself out there.

1162
00:37:57,757 --> 00:37:57,817
Yeah.

1163
00:37:57,937 --> 00:38:02,167
I didn't know that I had to be
100% open about what I wanted

1164
00:38:02,407 --> 00:38:03,847
and what our dynamic was.

1165
00:38:04,402 --> 00:38:06,202
There's just a lot of moving parts to it,

1166
00:38:06,232 --> 00:38:10,282
and it looks like they, it, I'm
assuming they play together because

1167
00:38:10,312 --> 00:38:13,732
they said they're, they said that
they've had couples that it's hard

1168
00:38:13,732 --> 00:38:15,622
to find couples in the lifestyle

1169
00:38:15,682 --> 00:38:17,272
and singles are far from

1170
00:38:17,277 --> 00:38:17,507
Yeah.

1171
00:38:17,507 --> 00:38:17,987
Available.

1172
00:38:18,532 --> 00:38:18,922
Yeah.

1173
00:38:19,122 --> 00:38:22,062
So it looks like you already
have your little group there that

1174
00:38:22,062 --> 00:38:23,262
they played with people before.

1175
00:38:23,442 --> 00:38:23,862
Yeah.

1176
00:38:23,922 --> 00:38:24,282
Yeah.

1177
00:38:24,492 --> 00:38:29,052
Uh, so I, I mean, I would assume that,
that maybe they've had one or two mm-hmm.

1178
00:38:29,292 --> 00:38:30,252
That have gone well.

1179
00:38:30,282 --> 00:38:32,562
It really depends on, on
what you're looking for.

1180
00:38:32,562 --> 00:38:34,242
I used to always want a big circle.

1181
00:38:34,422 --> 00:38:36,582
I always wanted to have
a big circle of people.

1182
00:38:36,582 --> 00:38:39,282
I always wanted to have a lot
of friends and stuff like that.

1183
00:38:39,282 --> 00:38:39,292
Mm-hmm.

1184
00:38:39,932 --> 00:38:42,452
Now I don't, I don't want a big circle.

1185
00:38:42,452 --> 00:38:42,512
Yeah.

1186
00:38:42,512 --> 00:38:43,622
I want a small circle.

1187
00:38:43,682 --> 00:38:50,612
And so I have learned to kind of
wean away some that I don't feel are

1188
00:38:50,612 --> 00:38:53,102
fully there for, for me or for us.

1189
00:38:53,162 --> 00:38:56,642
Maybe they're halfhearted, maybe
they're just not real connections.

1190
00:38:56,792 --> 00:38:57,062
Yeah.

1191
00:38:57,122 --> 00:38:59,462
And, and I've tried to kind
of wean away from that.

1192
00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:02,737
You know, you look for red flags
and you just kind of go, okay.

1193
00:39:03,272 --> 00:39:04,052
That's not from me.

1194
00:39:04,262 --> 00:39:04,682
I'm good.

1195
00:39:04,892 --> 00:39:06,032
And so, yeah.

1196
00:39:06,032 --> 00:39:09,632
You know, that's, that's really,
that's really the tough part with that.

1197
00:39:09,872 --> 00:39:13,622
Now, I do have a friend of
mine, my buddy, who says, I'm

1198
00:39:13,622 --> 00:39:15,662
struggling on saying no to people.

1199
00:39:15,752 --> 00:39:17,972
So how is, how is your take now?

1200
00:39:17,972 --> 00:39:20,462
I, I've, I've heard
you answer this before.

1201
00:39:20,462 --> 00:39:21,827
I'd really love for you to.

1202
00:39:22,687 --> 00:39:27,127
Give your thoughts on this when it comes
to saying no to other people in the

1203
00:39:27,127 --> 00:39:28,657
lifestyle who are interested in you.

1204
00:39:28,657 --> 00:39:28,687
I,

1205
00:39:29,167 --> 00:39:30,697
I'm not going to lie to you.

1206
00:39:30,727 --> 00:39:33,457
I get that almost every day.

1207
00:39:33,967 --> 00:39:34,237
Yeah.

1208
00:39:34,447 --> 00:39:39,607
I get somebody who, um, is very
interested but is not, I'm not

1209
00:39:39,607 --> 00:39:43,837
interested in them and I just, I tell
them, I said, it's very flattering.

1210
00:39:43,867 --> 00:39:45,457
I really appreciate it.

1211
00:39:45,997 --> 00:39:49,507
Thank you for reaching out, but I am
just looking for friends right now.

1212
00:39:49,897 --> 00:39:50,257
Yeah.

1213
00:39:50,407 --> 00:39:56,017
You know, we're all adults, and I
understand you the fear of rejection

1214
00:39:56,017 --> 00:39:59,257
because I actually have the fear of
rejection when it comes to women.

1215
00:39:59,437 --> 00:40:02,017
I do not have that fear of
rejection when it comes to men.

1216
00:40:02,047 --> 00:40:05,677
So when it comes to women, not
every woman is going to like me.

1217
00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:06,907
And so that's where.

1218
00:40:07,392 --> 00:40:08,382
That comes in for me.

1219
00:40:08,712 --> 00:40:08,952
Yeah.

1220
00:40:09,162 --> 00:40:14,112
But I think if you're just very honest,
honest and upfront, don't ghost.

1221
00:40:14,292 --> 00:40:16,512
Because we did that in the past.

1222
00:40:16,512 --> 00:40:18,252
We were those notorious people.

1223
00:40:18,612 --> 00:40:20,022
Do not ghost people.

1224
00:40:20,082 --> 00:40:21,912
I am very upfront.

1225
00:40:21,912 --> 00:40:23,532
If Adam's like, no, I'm not feeling it.

1226
00:40:23,562 --> 00:40:24,822
I'll be the one to go tell them.

1227
00:40:25,182 --> 00:40:26,262
We're just not feeling it.

1228
00:40:26,262 --> 00:40:27,192
There's no vibe.

1229
00:40:27,222 --> 00:40:27,372
Yeah.

1230
00:40:27,372 --> 00:40:28,452
And that's a rarity though.

1231
00:40:28,452 --> 00:40:30,312
It's usually you're the
one that's not failing it.

1232
00:40:30,317 --> 00:40:30,557
Yeah.

1233
00:40:30,852 --> 00:40:31,002
Yeah.

1234
00:40:31,977 --> 00:40:33,117
There's been times where you

1235
00:40:33,117 --> 00:40:34,497
No, I said usually,

1236
00:40:34,617 --> 00:40:35,037
yeah,

1237
00:40:35,067 --> 00:40:37,347
usually you are the
one that's not failing.

1238
00:40:37,377 --> 00:40:37,617
Yes.

1239
00:40:37,977 --> 00:40:38,217
Yeah.

1240
00:40:38,337 --> 00:40:41,427
So yeah, there's been a time or two,
but for the most part, when it's

1241
00:40:41,427 --> 00:40:47,007
come between us two, you are the more
selective person I, and so oftentimes

1242
00:40:47,007 --> 00:40:51,642
we are put in this situation where as a
couple, we're talking to another couple.

1243
00:40:52,642 --> 00:40:55,042
I'm vibing with them, but you're not,

1244
00:40:55,132 --> 00:40:55,312
because

1245
00:40:55,312 --> 00:40:55,912
it has to be.

1246
00:40:55,912 --> 00:40:57,862
And so in, in a situation like that,

1247
00:40:58,132 --> 00:41:02,902
and it has to be vibe and attraction,
I have to be attracted to you.

1248
00:41:03,142 --> 00:41:06,742
Like it can't just be your intelligent,
like I, there's gonna have to

1249
00:41:06,742 --> 00:41:08,692
be aspects of that attraction.

1250
00:41:08,692 --> 00:41:13,012
So that's why the super selectiveness
because it has to, you have to have both.

1251
00:41:13,042 --> 00:41:15,262
Yeah, I, I mean you have to have both.

1252
00:41:15,792 --> 00:41:20,322
See, here's something that, that
Pris has realized is that you

1253
00:41:20,322 --> 00:41:25,632
can be a friend to somebody and
not have to have sex with them.

1254
00:41:25,902 --> 00:41:26,862
I just realized that

1255
00:41:27,222 --> 00:41:28,482
you realized that recently.

1256
00:41:28,487 --> 00:41:29,892
Maybe a, yeah, maybe.

1257
00:41:30,192 --> 00:41:31,122
I thought I've always known that.

1258
00:41:31,362 --> 00:41:31,632
No,

1259
00:41:31,872 --> 00:41:32,202
no,

1260
00:41:32,262 --> 00:41:32,442
no.

1261
00:41:32,442 --> 00:41:35,172
We've had that conversation probably
about a year and a half ago.

1262
00:41:35,397 --> 00:41:35,687
Yeah.

1263
00:41:35,837 --> 00:41:36,567
Yeah, I guess so.

1264
00:41:36,757 --> 00:41:37,047
Yeah.

1265
00:41:37,052 --> 00:41:37,152
Yeah.

1266
00:41:37,627 --> 00:41:37,902
So, yeah.

1267
00:41:37,902 --> 00:41:43,782
So for the longest time you didn't, if
somebody was attracted to you, you would.

1268
00:41:44,212 --> 00:41:46,162
And you were not attracted to them.

1269
00:41:46,162 --> 00:41:48,922
You wouldn't even consider
them a, as a friend.

1270
00:41:49,252 --> 00:41:51,562
Like you wouldn't want to hang out
with them because you knew that

1271
00:41:51,562 --> 00:41:54,382
they wanted to have sex with you
and you didn't wanna lead them on.

1272
00:41:54,382 --> 00:41:55,852
And it, it gets very pushy.

1273
00:41:56,032 --> 00:41:58,762
Um, and now it does not get like that.

1274
00:41:58,762 --> 00:41:59,992
Now I can tell my friends.

1275
00:42:00,052 --> 00:42:01,192
Yeah, no, we're just friends.

1276
00:42:01,357 --> 00:42:02,302
Yeah, yeah.

1277
00:42:02,362 --> 00:42:02,632
Yeah.

1278
00:42:02,632 --> 00:42:05,632
And you know, when you become friends
with somebody, you get to know

1279
00:42:05,632 --> 00:42:06,982
them a little bit better actually.

1280
00:42:06,982 --> 00:42:10,222
You get to know them a
lot better and sometimes.

1281
00:42:10,972 --> 00:42:11,452
It changes.

1282
00:42:11,452 --> 00:42:12,712
It changes their attraction.

1283
00:42:12,712 --> 00:42:13,072
The dynamic.

1284
00:42:13,132 --> 00:42:13,462
Yeah.

1285
00:42:13,492 --> 00:42:13,672
Yeah.

1286
00:42:13,672 --> 00:42:14,512
It changes their is you're right.

1287
00:42:14,572 --> 00:42:15,352
Is pretty cool.

1288
00:42:15,742 --> 00:42:16,042
Yeah.

1289
00:42:16,042 --> 00:42:20,302
So, you know, for me, I, you know,
talking to, to my buddy who had that,

1290
00:42:20,332 --> 00:42:22,432
that question, I've had that before.

1291
00:42:22,432 --> 00:42:23,872
I'm not good at saying No,

1292
00:42:24,472 --> 00:42:24,802
no.

1293
00:42:24,922 --> 00:42:26,302
I am not good at saying no.

1294
00:42:26,302 --> 00:42:29,482
Frankly, it's, I don't
like to hurt feelings.

1295
00:42:29,932 --> 00:42:31,882
Um, I don't like to.

1296
00:42:32,452 --> 00:42:38,752
Come off, uh, rude, but at the same
time, I'm not doing them a good service

1297
00:42:38,752 --> 00:42:45,472
by not being full, uh, openly, upfront
with how I'm feeling about that.

1298
00:42:45,477 --> 00:42:50,632
And yeah, and I think women, when you're
not, when you are not upfront about it.

1299
00:42:51,037 --> 00:42:56,407
Um, I think women take the cue of that
you are interested even when you're not

1300
00:42:56,407 --> 00:42:59,317
interested because you still, it can be
misconstrued because you still are their

1301
00:42:59,317 --> 00:43:03,667
friends and you're still very charming
and you still give off the flirty vibes.

1302
00:43:03,817 --> 00:43:07,987
And so I don't think they understand
sometimes that, that back and forth.

1303
00:43:08,287 --> 00:43:08,707
Yeah.

1304
00:43:08,707 --> 00:43:09,112
Well, you know, I'm.

1305
00:43:09,752 --> 00:43:14,522
When I'm friends with, with both
women and men, I, I try to act the

1306
00:43:14,522 --> 00:43:19,832
same with both of them, but I am,
I am overly friendly with both men

1307
00:43:19,832 --> 00:43:25,382
and women, and women can misconstrue
that as, as flirty or, or leading on.

1308
00:43:25,712 --> 00:43:31,082
So, yeah, I, I, I really do think that
it is important to be upfront and honest.

1309
00:43:31,082 --> 00:43:35,642
If you are not interested, I think
that it needs to be said, but I am

1310
00:43:35,642 --> 00:43:39,572
also a big believer in I could be not
interested in the beginning and I can

1311
00:43:39,572 --> 00:43:41,432
be your friend, and that can change.

1312
00:43:41,462 --> 00:43:43,592
And so that's, that's always a tough one.

1313
00:43:43,682 --> 00:43:47,492
I think it's, it's good to be
fully honest with your feelings

1314
00:43:47,492 --> 00:43:49,082
and if you say, well, I'm not.

1315
00:43:49,567 --> 00:43:54,187
I'm not fully feeling this vibe between
us, so it would be a no right now,

1316
00:43:54,427 --> 00:43:57,307
but I would like to continue being
your friend so I can get to know

1317
00:43:57,307 --> 00:43:58,987
you better and that could change.

1318
00:43:59,047 --> 00:43:59,227
Mm-hmm.

1319
00:43:59,467 --> 00:44:02,677
You know, and if you can say
something like that, I think that

1320
00:44:02,677 --> 00:44:04,807
it would be accepted pretty well.

1321
00:44:05,017 --> 00:44:08,827
I think it might go over well
for most, most people I know.

1322
00:44:08,827 --> 00:44:10,567
If somebody told me
that, I'd be like, okay.

1323
00:44:10,927 --> 00:44:12,487
I can, I can adhere to that.

1324
00:44:12,517 --> 00:44:13,087
I get that.

1325
00:44:13,147 --> 00:44:16,957
You know, the big thing that I've
always struggled with is when us as a

1326
00:44:16,957 --> 00:44:21,907
couple, we meet another couple and I'm
vibing with them, but you are not, or

1327
00:44:21,907 --> 00:44:26,617
you are vibing with them and, but I'm
not, and so it's one of us that it's a

1328
00:44:26,617 --> 00:44:29,437
no and it's one of us that it's a yes.

1329
00:44:29,527 --> 00:44:30,817
When it's something like that.

1330
00:44:30,817 --> 00:44:35,467
Obviously if one of us is a no, then
it's gonna be a no for the couple.

1331
00:44:36,277 --> 00:44:41,377
Now we do, depending on the
person, we do play separately now.

1332
00:44:41,377 --> 00:44:45,937
So there are times where Pris is not
interested, but she's like, Hey, if you're

1333
00:44:45,937 --> 00:44:48,277
interested and you want to, you wanna
have fun with him, by all means, go ahead.

1334
00:44:48,277 --> 00:44:48,367
Mm-hmm.

1335
00:44:48,637 --> 00:44:53,647
But previous to that, if your
partner says no, then it's a

1336
00:44:53,647 --> 00:44:55,357
no whether you want to or not.

1337
00:44:55,627 --> 00:44:55,837
Yeah.

1338
00:44:56,167 --> 00:44:57,367
I mean, it's just simple as that.

1339
00:44:57,367 --> 00:44:57,787
You know?

1340
00:44:57,787 --> 00:45:01,597
I mean, if, if, if you wanna play with
somebody and your partner doesn't, then

1341
00:45:01,597 --> 00:45:05,437
you can either tell your partner, Hey, I
really do want to, is there any way that.

1342
00:45:05,992 --> 00:45:07,612
That I can, I can do this.

1343
00:45:07,612 --> 00:45:11,572
Or you can just say, yeah, no, it's
not gonna, the vibe's not 100% there.

1344
00:45:11,572 --> 00:45:11,752
So,

1345
00:45:11,752 --> 00:45:11,992
yeah.

1346
00:45:12,262 --> 00:45:12,502
Yeah.

1347
00:45:12,562 --> 00:45:16,222
You know, that's just one of those
things that it's, it's the heavy part

1348
00:45:16,282 --> 00:45:20,122
of this and it can apply to Vanilla
World as well for people who are

1349
00:45:20,122 --> 00:45:22,392
just dating because there's a lot of
people who don't know how to say no.

1350
00:45:23,327 --> 00:45:26,687
And I know when we were poly and I was
going through these different dating apps

1351
00:45:26,687 --> 00:45:30,797
and stuff like that, I was trying to hit
up all, all these different connections.

1352
00:45:30,977 --> 00:45:34,697
And I remember some people telling
me no in a horribly rude way,

1353
00:45:34,907 --> 00:45:36,767
and just really ugly about it.

1354
00:45:36,767 --> 00:45:40,007
And I remember thinking, wow,
that just really wasn't necessary.

1355
00:45:40,337 --> 00:45:43,937
And I think that really made me
skittish on telling people no.

1356
00:45:43,937 --> 00:45:44,027
Mm-hmm.

1357
00:45:44,267 --> 00:45:46,637
Because I remember how I felt, but.

1358
00:45:47,002 --> 00:45:49,612
Honestly, honesty is everything.

1359
00:45:49,792 --> 00:45:49,942
Yeah.

1360
00:45:49,972 --> 00:45:53,932
And even if it's sour at the
beginning, they'll, they'll appreciate

1361
00:45:53,932 --> 00:45:55,462
the honesty in the long run.

1362
00:45:55,552 --> 00:45:55,642
Mm-hmm.

1363
00:45:55,882 --> 00:45:57,712
So that, that really takes care of that.

1364
00:45:57,952 --> 00:46:01,822
Now going into this second
one here, there's a, a second.

1365
00:46:02,012 --> 00:46:03,302
Confession that came in.

1366
00:46:03,302 --> 00:46:04,202
I'm gonna read it to you here.

1367
00:46:04,352 --> 00:46:09,962
I am exploring more of what I need,
and in parentheses it says I need to

1368
00:46:09,962 --> 00:46:14,972
explore more of the BDSM lifestyle
and parentheses, and my husband

1369
00:46:14,972 --> 00:46:16,712
is helping me through the process.

1370
00:46:16,802 --> 00:46:20,702
I finally found one guy that is very
knowledgeable and experienced in

1371
00:46:20,702 --> 00:46:22,952
the areas of what I am looking for.

1372
00:46:23,192 --> 00:46:27,332
I like his vibe so much that I
approve and requested my husband to

1373
00:46:27,332 --> 00:46:30,062
approve him as a play partner for me.

1374
00:46:30,182 --> 00:46:34,232
My husband agreed, and now the guy said
he's no longer playing, and he hung

1375
00:46:34,232 --> 00:46:38,672
up his tools, which doesn't make sense
because a few days before he agreed to

1376
00:46:38,672 --> 00:46:40,862
be my play partner until he moves away.

1377
00:46:41,102 --> 00:46:46,022
I am deeply heartbroken over this
because it is so hard for me to vibe.

1378
00:46:46,387 --> 00:46:47,407
Approach anyone.

1379
00:46:47,557 --> 00:46:50,797
And the one time I do, I get
rejected and it hurts so much.

1380
00:46:50,947 --> 00:46:54,037
My fear of rejection is the
reason I let my husband take

1381
00:46:54,037 --> 00:46:55,927
the lead in all things swinging.

1382
00:46:56,167 --> 00:46:59,827
Yes, I have been offered to
have a scene with others, but

1383
00:46:59,827 --> 00:47:02,827
I can't seem to be comfortable
with anyone except this one guy.

1384
00:47:03,127 --> 00:47:04,057
What do you think about that?

1385
00:47:04,267 --> 00:47:05,122
That is a very different, that's a

1386
00:47:05,127 --> 00:47:05,557
different one.

1387
00:47:05,557 --> 00:47:06,187
I mean,

1388
00:47:06,337 --> 00:47:09,877
and there's, there's a few different
spots that catch my attention.

1389
00:47:10,492 --> 00:47:10,882
One.

1390
00:47:11,032 --> 00:47:15,832
The BDSM lifestyle is, is, is a very,
I don't wanna say it's a very different

1391
00:47:15,832 --> 00:47:18,772
lifestyle, but there are certain
things in the BDSM lifestyle, like

1392
00:47:18,772 --> 00:47:23,932
obviously trust is big for any play
partner, but in the BDSM lifestyle

1393
00:47:23,932 --> 00:47:29,752
trust is everything because you are
most likely gonna be in a vulnerable

1394
00:47:29,752 --> 00:47:32,812
position if, if you've seen any scenes.

1395
00:47:33,187 --> 00:47:36,217
Play out in the BDSM world, anybody.

1396
00:47:36,307 --> 00:47:38,797
It takes a lot of vulnerability.

1397
00:47:38,797 --> 00:47:42,427
You really have to trust the person
who's in control of all of that.

1398
00:47:42,517 --> 00:47:47,107
So I wouldn't think it's that easy to find
somebody that you really vibe, that you

1399
00:47:47,107 --> 00:47:49,057
really mesh with, that you really trust.

1400
00:47:49,147 --> 00:47:50,377
To be vulnerable with.

1401
00:47:50,467 --> 00:47:50,527
Yeah.

1402
00:47:50,527 --> 00:47:52,327
And we've had that talk
before because Yes.

1403
00:47:52,687 --> 00:47:55,987
Uh, you know, I'm interested in trying
things that I've never done before,

1404
00:47:55,987 --> 00:47:58,177
and that includes the BDSM lifestyle.

1405
00:47:58,297 --> 00:48:02,407
I don't know, like a lot of it
really revolves around trust

1406
00:48:02,407 --> 00:48:06,397
issues for me, because I don't
wanna be blindfolded if you're not

1407
00:48:06,397 --> 00:48:07,717
there to make sure that I'm safe.

1408
00:48:07,927 --> 00:48:12,007
You know, I, I don't want somebody
at the helm with me tied up.

1409
00:48:12,427 --> 00:48:12,787
No,

1410
00:48:12,847 --> 00:48:17,557
like if I'm tied up, you know, and you're
not there, like that's, there's just a lot

1411
00:48:17,737 --> 00:48:23,377
to unpackage there and uh, you know that,
so that right there is the big one for me.

1412
00:48:23,377 --> 00:48:27,577
So finding that you feel is very
knowledgeable and experienced

1413
00:48:27,577 --> 00:48:32,977
in those areas and liking the
vibe and feeling great about it.

1414
00:48:33,187 --> 00:48:33,547
Yeah,

1415
00:48:33,547 --> 00:48:34,687
that is everything.

1416
00:48:35,677 --> 00:48:40,567
But then once you feel safe
with this person, for them to.

1417
00:48:41,602 --> 00:48:42,682
Just outta nowhere.

1418
00:48:42,682 --> 00:48:43,822
Say, yeah.

1419
00:48:43,822 --> 00:48:44,272
Sorry.

1420
00:48:44,272 --> 00:48:46,582
I'm not gonna, I I I'm not doing this.

1421
00:48:46,612 --> 00:48:46,972
Yeah.

1422
00:48:47,392 --> 00:48:53,602
I mean, there's probably more to
that on their end, but I'm so sorry.

1423
00:48:53,752 --> 00:48:55,192
Like, I'm sorry that you had to do that.

1424
00:48:55,192 --> 00:48:56,422
'cause that sucks.

1425
00:48:56,872 --> 00:49:01,552
Well, see, and that's the thing is with
the communication, I mean, I, I don't

1426
00:49:01,552 --> 00:49:04,012
know exactly what was communicated.

1427
00:49:04,017 --> 00:49:04,067
Mm-hmm.

1428
00:49:04,147 --> 00:49:04,627
I don't know if it was.

1429
00:49:05,332 --> 00:49:11,062
If it was simply that, or if there was
more to it than that, but I, I would've

1430
00:49:11,062 --> 00:49:17,302
hoped that if he wasn't going to play
anymore and he hung up his tools, like he

1431
00:49:17,302 --> 00:49:22,152
said, he's, that he would give a proper
explanation as to why, you know it.

1432
00:49:22,957 --> 00:49:25,987
To flip flop back and forth and
say, yes, I'm all about this.

1433
00:49:25,987 --> 00:49:29,707
And then to immediately go the other
way, as soon as you say, let's do this.

1434
00:49:29,767 --> 00:49:30,307
Yeah.

1435
00:49:30,367 --> 00:49:32,347
Uh, is, is kind of a red flag.

1436
00:49:33,067 --> 00:49:36,187
Uh, and, and so with that, you
really kind of have to ask yourself,

1437
00:49:36,187 --> 00:49:37,667
okay, what was the situation here?

1438
00:49:37,667 --> 00:49:37,732
Mm-hmm.

1439
00:49:37,812 --> 00:49:38,797
What, what just happened

1440
00:49:38,857 --> 00:49:39,367
exactly.

1441
00:49:39,427 --> 00:49:41,647
Um, I, I don't really
quite understand that.

1442
00:49:41,647 --> 00:49:46,627
And so either he was not on the up and
up and it was a situation and, and maybe

1443
00:49:46,627 --> 00:49:49,657
it was just, or, or, you know, there
could be a number of, of things that.

1444
00:49:49,707 --> 00:49:52,437
Could have come up that were
unethical, but there could have

1445
00:49:52,437 --> 00:49:54,777
been a number of things that could
have come up that were ethical.

1446
00:49:54,957 --> 00:49:58,797
And the problem is, is that it
needs to be communicated 100%.

1447
00:49:58,887 --> 00:49:59,067
Mm-hmm.

1448
00:49:59,127 --> 00:50:02,007
Without that, I mean, you're left
sitting there going, what the hell?

1449
00:50:02,067 --> 00:50:03,687
And you feel that rejection.

1450
00:50:03,837 --> 00:50:04,167
Yeah.

1451
00:50:04,317 --> 00:50:05,637
And rejection sucks.

1452
00:50:05,727 --> 00:50:06,147
Yes.

1453
00:50:06,237 --> 00:50:08,637
And you know it's funny is
that you were just saying.

1454
00:50:09,352 --> 00:50:12,592
You're afraid of rejection for women, but
you're not afraid of rejection for men?

1455
00:50:12,862 --> 00:50:13,282
No.

1456
00:50:13,492 --> 00:50:13,882
Why is that?

1457
00:50:14,212 --> 00:50:15,142
Because they're easy to get

1458
00:50:15,352 --> 00:50:16,492
because men are easy to get.

1459
00:50:16,557 --> 00:50:16,847
Yeah.

1460
00:50:17,002 --> 00:50:17,332
Yeah.

1461
00:50:17,512 --> 00:50:18,112
That's so funny.

1462
00:50:18,142 --> 00:50:22,102
Yeah, because someone, so someone
just messaged me on another note.

1463
00:50:22,102 --> 00:50:26,512
Someone just messaged me and said, it
is so hard for me to find, and I don't

1464
00:50:26,512 --> 00:50:30,862
know if this person listens to work
our show or not, but they said, it is

1465
00:50:30,862 --> 00:50:35,482
so hard for me to find a partner to
somebody to come over when I need it.

1466
00:50:36,847 --> 00:50:38,227
And she was like, why?

1467
00:50:38,227 --> 00:50:39,637
I don't know why it's so hard.

1468
00:50:39,637 --> 00:50:43,837
And I was like, yeah, it's, if
you're being selective, it's not hard

1469
00:50:43,927 --> 00:50:45,457
If you're being selective, it's not hard

1470
00:50:45,457 --> 00:50:47,857
to find somebody if you're, I'm
sorry if you're not being selective.

1471
00:50:47,857 --> 00:50:50,407
It's not hard if you're being selective.

1472
00:50:50,437 --> 00:50:51,337
It's very hard.

1473
00:50:51,487 --> 00:50:51,817
Yeah.

1474
00:50:51,967 --> 00:50:52,237
Yeah.

1475
00:50:52,237 --> 00:50:55,357
And there's, there's any number of
reasons why, I mean, it can come down

1476
00:50:55,357 --> 00:50:58,177
from physical to, to personal, you know?

1477
00:50:58,177 --> 00:50:58,387
Yeah.

1478
00:50:58,387 --> 00:51:00,367
And, and, and how they act.

1479
00:51:00,457 --> 00:51:00,817
Yeah.

1480
00:51:01,087 --> 00:51:02,112
But yeah, no, men are, um.

1481
00:51:04,057 --> 00:51:05,227
Are men are easy

1482
00:51:05,257 --> 00:51:06,637
than women, they're easier than women

1483
00:51:06,877 --> 00:51:07,657
for me

1484
00:51:07,662 --> 00:51:08,412
as far as, um.

1485
00:51:09,172 --> 00:51:10,912
And I'm not saying, oh, I'm so hot.

1486
00:51:11,002 --> 00:51:13,432
I just have, I have a lot of
guy friends that if I need

1487
00:51:13,432 --> 00:51:15,082
somebody I can reach out to.

1488
00:51:15,322 --> 00:51:18,652
What's funny was, I remember for
the several years when we were in

1489
00:51:18,652 --> 00:51:21,292
the lifestyle, you know, and, and
I'm sure that there are a lot of

1490
00:51:21,292 --> 00:51:22,762
couples that can relate to this.

1491
00:51:22,852 --> 00:51:26,602
Sometimes you have these
moments where it's just like.

1492
00:51:26,827 --> 00:51:28,117
I need somebody over right now.

1493
00:51:28,237 --> 00:51:29,647
You need to invite
somebody over right now.

1494
00:51:29,647 --> 00:51:31,537
Like it could be a, a Friday night.

1495
00:51:31,567 --> 00:51:34,747
You got the house by yourself and it's
the two of y'all and y'all are getting

1496
00:51:34,747 --> 00:51:36,067
it on and y'all are talking dirty.

1497
00:51:36,067 --> 00:51:38,047
And it's like, you know, we could,
we could invite somebody over.

1498
00:51:38,047 --> 00:51:40,867
And it's like, yes, get
somebody over right now.

1499
00:51:41,842 --> 00:51:44,992
And of course, it's those times that
you can't find anybody, you know?

1500
00:51:44,992 --> 00:51:45,052
Yeah.

1501
00:51:45,052 --> 00:51:46,642
Nobody's available at all.

1502
00:51:46,702 --> 00:51:50,992
And then of course, you know, you, you
get off and then it's like, yeah, no, I,

1503
00:51:50,992 --> 00:51:52,762
I don't want anybody to come over at all.

1504
00:51:52,762 --> 00:51:53,902
What were we talking about?

1505
00:51:54,202 --> 00:51:55,042
Because there's, there's

1506
00:51:55,042 --> 00:51:56,152
something our typical weekend.

1507
00:51:56,152 --> 00:51:56,392
Yeah.

1508
00:51:56,392 --> 00:51:57,862
'cause there's something
cold, horny brain.

1509
00:51:57,862 --> 00:51:58,492
It's a thing.

1510
00:51:58,552 --> 00:51:58,852
Yeah.

1511
00:51:59,092 --> 00:52:02,602
You know, it gets you all gray
and, and, and, and muddled

1512
00:52:02,602 --> 00:52:03,982
up and you're not thinking.

1513
00:52:03,982 --> 00:52:04,312
Right.

1514
00:52:04,312 --> 00:52:05,932
Because you are in horny brain.

1515
00:52:06,502 --> 00:52:06,802
Yeah.

1516
00:52:06,802 --> 00:52:06,822
You know?

1517
00:52:07,537 --> 00:52:10,027
And it's like, oh yeah,
bring, get them over here.

1518
00:52:10,057 --> 00:52:11,497
Get them over here right now.

1519
00:52:11,587 --> 00:52:12,367
That is very true.

1520
00:52:12,727 --> 00:52:16,927
I, I, this, this past weekend
we attended a hotel takeover.

1521
00:52:17,107 --> 00:52:17,237
We did.

1522
00:52:17,887 --> 00:52:23,107
And we were in this hotel from
Friday afternoon till Sunday morning.

1523
00:52:23,227 --> 00:52:23,497
Yes.

1524
00:52:23,497 --> 00:52:27,187
And I'm talking, this is a
hotel of fully naked people.

1525
00:52:27,187 --> 00:52:28,657
Everybody's in lingerie.

1526
00:52:28,657 --> 00:52:30,487
Everybody is feeling the vibe.

1527
00:52:30,487 --> 00:52:33,187
Everybody's got their own hotel rooms.

1528
00:52:33,307 --> 00:52:36,907
Like you can, if you wanted to, you could
go from room to room to room to room

1529
00:52:36,967 --> 00:52:38,467
and just play, you know what I'm saying?

1530
00:52:38,467 --> 00:52:39,332
Like we had.

1531
00:52:40,087 --> 00:52:41,497
Several opportunities.

1532
00:52:41,587 --> 00:52:41,707
Yes.

1533
00:52:42,037 --> 00:52:46,057
From Friday to Sunday to play
with a numerous amount of people.

1534
00:52:46,357 --> 00:52:46,597
Yeah.

1535
00:52:46,687 --> 00:52:48,847
And with that we did not,

1536
00:52:49,147 --> 00:52:49,327
no,

1537
00:52:49,507 --> 00:52:51,187
we did not play with a single person.

1538
00:52:51,187 --> 00:52:54,577
Now that that wasn't by choice,
I guess it was kind of by choice.

1539
00:52:54,637 --> 00:52:59,112
We had to do a live show on Saturday
and so we were there Friday.

1540
00:52:59,412 --> 00:52:59,832
Mm-hmm.

1541
00:53:00,212 --> 00:53:00,432
And.

1542
00:53:01,402 --> 00:53:05,242
Friday night, all I kept thinking
about was the show and how we

1543
00:53:05,242 --> 00:53:06,202
were gonna put it together.

1544
00:53:06,202 --> 00:53:08,332
This was our first live
show, all this stuff.

1545
00:53:08,332 --> 00:53:10,792
And so I couldn't stop
thinking about that stuff.

1546
00:53:10,792 --> 00:53:15,292
And so it was really hard to
mesh into the vibe of the party.

1547
00:53:15,502 --> 00:53:15,862
Okay.

1548
00:53:16,012 --> 00:53:20,242
So eventually we went up to
the room probably about 10 30.

1549
00:53:20,302 --> 00:53:20,392
Mm-hmm.

1550
00:53:21,472 --> 00:53:24,232
And amazingly enough, we crashed out.

1551
00:53:24,352 --> 00:53:26,482
And we crashed out very quickly.

1552
00:53:26,542 --> 00:53:28,402
You know, we're very busy people.

1553
00:53:29,212 --> 00:53:29,632
Yeah.

1554
00:53:29,722 --> 00:53:30,082
Yeah.

1555
00:53:30,172 --> 00:53:31,792
And so it's just hard for us.

1556
00:53:31,792 --> 00:53:36,142
Like we, when we have alone time,
it's just for us to just relax

1557
00:53:36,532 --> 00:53:39,712
and, you know, we've been doing a
lot of traveling and honestly, we had

1558
00:53:39,712 --> 00:53:43,102
the hotel room and it was like, oh
my gosh, everybody was downstairs.

1559
00:53:43,102 --> 00:53:46,972
We were on the third floor and
we were enjoying some quiet

1560
00:53:46,972 --> 00:53:49,252
time, and we slept great.

1561
00:53:49,432 --> 00:53:52,642
So, and, and that was a, another
reason was I didn't wanna stay up late.

1562
00:53:53,302 --> 00:53:57,112
Because I wanted to be prepared for the
show, which was on Saturday around noon.

1563
00:53:57,172 --> 00:53:57,322
Yeah.

1564
00:53:57,322 --> 00:53:58,162
So we, we don't, so we get up.

1565
00:53:58,167 --> 00:53:58,547
Mm-hmm.

1566
00:53:58,627 --> 00:54:01,012
And we do our regular Saturday routine.

1567
00:54:01,012 --> 00:54:01,762
We go get coffee.

1568
00:54:01,762 --> 00:54:04,972
We go get breakfast, and I
start preparing for the show.

1569
00:54:04,972 --> 00:54:05,062
Mm-hmm.

1570
00:54:05,302 --> 00:54:06,922
And I start setting up everything.

1571
00:54:07,132 --> 00:54:11,302
Now, unfortunately, that show
is going to air on Sunday and.

1572
00:54:11,737 --> 00:54:14,977
There was technical difficulties
and we only got video.

1573
00:54:14,977 --> 00:54:16,087
We did not get audio.

1574
00:54:16,387 --> 00:54:16,447
Yeah.

1575
00:54:16,447 --> 00:54:19,477
So that sh that show is
now not going to be airing.

1576
00:54:19,567 --> 00:54:22,837
And it was only for the people that were
there in the, in the room, which was

1577
00:54:22,837 --> 00:54:23,317
fun,

1578
00:54:23,317 --> 00:54:23,917
which was great.

1579
00:54:23,917 --> 00:54:25,087
We had a great turnout.

1580
00:54:25,207 --> 00:54:26,557
We had a wonderful turnout.

1581
00:54:26,947 --> 00:54:31,117
Uh, and, and the people in that room got
to enjoy a live show that unfortunately

1582
00:54:31,117 --> 00:54:32,767
nobody else will be able to to hear.

1583
00:54:32,827 --> 00:54:34,327
But here's the other part.

1584
00:54:34,327 --> 00:54:38,347
So I was looking forward to getting the
show done so that I can kind of take

1585
00:54:38,347 --> 00:54:40,537
off my pants, so to speak and enjoy.

1586
00:54:40,767 --> 00:54:45,327
The takeover, but I was so
exhausted from dealing with the

1587
00:54:45,327 --> 00:54:49,437
podcast and doing everything that
we had to do for this live show.

1588
00:54:49,527 --> 00:54:51,337
I was, I was just, I was worn out.

1589
00:54:51,892 --> 00:54:53,272
And I'm pretty sure you were too.

1590
00:54:53,542 --> 00:54:53,992
Yeah.

1591
00:54:54,082 --> 00:54:55,342
I mean, we were there.

1592
00:54:55,342 --> 00:54:57,142
We did go downstairs for a while.

1593
00:54:57,147 --> 00:54:57,327
Yeah.

1594
00:54:57,472 --> 00:54:57,682
Yeah.

1595
00:54:57,682 --> 00:54:59,572
We were part of the, the, the areas and

1596
00:54:59,722 --> 00:55:00,262
Yeah.

1597
00:55:00,412 --> 00:55:04,072
You know, we had talked, we had
talked, we had talked several times

1598
00:55:04,072 --> 00:55:06,382
while we were having sex in our room.

1599
00:55:06,502 --> 00:55:06,982
Yes.

1600
00:55:07,072 --> 00:55:10,852
About, oh, so and so wants to join
us and there's this and there's that.

1601
00:55:10,852 --> 00:55:12,112
And oh, well we gotta do is call him.

1602
00:55:12,112 --> 00:55:14,212
But you know, that's horny brain talking.

1603
00:55:14,242 --> 00:55:14,302
Yeah.

1604
00:55:14,512 --> 00:55:15,652
Horny brain was talking.

1605
00:55:15,922 --> 00:55:18,802
And then once horny brain ejected.

1606
00:55:19,877 --> 00:55:20,267
Yeah,

1607
00:55:20,452 --> 00:55:21,062
that was it.

1608
00:55:21,662 --> 00:55:22,102
That was it.

1609
00:55:22,382 --> 00:55:22,982
That was it.

1610
00:55:23,357 --> 00:55:25,367
And we were like, I just
wanna go to sleep now.

1611
00:55:25,817 --> 00:55:26,357
I'm done.

1612
00:55:26,927 --> 00:55:27,287
Nice.

1613
00:55:27,287 --> 00:55:28,337
Yeah, it was nice.

1614
00:55:28,337 --> 00:55:28,667
It was.

1615
00:55:28,667 --> 00:55:31,697
It was actually some much
needed time to ourselves.

1616
00:55:31,787 --> 00:55:35,657
But you know, when it comes to stuff
like that, people feel like if you

1617
00:55:35,657 --> 00:55:39,497
go to a house party, if you go to a
hotel takeover, stuff like that, that

1618
00:55:39,497 --> 00:55:42,347
you feel like you are obliged to.

1619
00:55:42,712 --> 00:55:43,642
Play with others.

1620
00:55:43,702 --> 00:55:44,692
Yeah, some people do.

1621
00:55:45,052 --> 00:55:45,772
Some people feel that.

1622
00:55:45,777 --> 00:55:45,827
Yeah.

1623
00:55:45,827 --> 00:55:46,672
And you don't have to.

1624
00:55:46,732 --> 00:55:46,792
No.

1625
00:55:46,792 --> 00:55:48,502
And that's something that a
lot of people have to realize.

1626
00:55:48,502 --> 00:55:48,592
Yeah.

1627
00:55:48,592 --> 00:55:50,212
You don't have to do anything.

1628
00:55:50,242 --> 00:55:50,452
Nope.

1629
00:55:50,662 --> 00:55:54,562
If you want to come in and you wanna
just watch people, that is totally fine.

1630
00:55:54,652 --> 00:55:55,462
That's okay.

1631
00:55:55,582 --> 00:55:58,552
If you want to just be there
for the ambiance, that's cool.

1632
00:55:58,582 --> 00:56:01,372
That's what's great about this
community, is you don't have to do

1633
00:56:01,402 --> 00:56:03,202
anything that you don't want to do.

1634
00:56:03,997 --> 00:56:08,707
If, if horny brain ejects and you're like,
nah, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to bed.

1635
00:56:08,797 --> 00:56:12,492
Well, okay, that doesn't make you
any less a member of this community.

1636
00:56:13,237 --> 00:56:14,047
You know what I'm saying?

1637
00:56:14,137 --> 00:56:17,617
And that I think is, is a, is
a big thing for a lot of people

1638
00:56:17,617 --> 00:56:19,417
that they just feel obliged.

1639
00:56:19,657 --> 00:56:20,797
They feel like they have to

1640
00:56:20,797 --> 00:56:21,157
Yeah.

1641
00:56:21,217 --> 00:56:24,307
And have to, it's you don't have
to, you really don't have to.

1642
00:56:24,307 --> 00:56:24,547
No.

1643
00:56:24,997 --> 00:56:30,277
Um, so yeah, I, I, I'm, I'm glad that,
that we got to discuss, uh, these,

1644
00:56:30,337 --> 00:56:32,587
these confessions that came in this.

1645
00:56:32,587 --> 00:56:33,847
So one just came in,

1646
00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:34,717
is this one,

1647
00:56:34,837 --> 00:56:36,847
this is one that just came in, apparently.

1648
00:56:37,232 --> 00:56:40,742
Okay, because I was like looking at it and
I was like, wait a second, I wasn't there.

1649
00:56:40,892 --> 00:56:42,962
So I'm gonna read this for
you because it just came in.

1650
00:56:43,052 --> 00:56:47,672
We met up with a lovely, attractive
couple the first year into our

1651
00:56:47,672 --> 00:56:49,022
journey, into the lifestyle.

1652
00:56:49,462 --> 00:56:49,732
Hi.

1653
00:56:49,732 --> 00:56:54,022
The female met up with the
other wife first for a casual

1654
00:56:54,022 --> 00:56:55,222
lunch on a Friday afternoon.

1655
00:56:55,492 --> 00:56:59,212
We really connected to the point
that she told me their real names

1656
00:56:59,272 --> 00:57:01,372
and showed me her art on Facebook.

1657
00:57:01,432 --> 00:57:04,972
We agreed to introduce the
men at an LS meet and greet

1658
00:57:04,972 --> 00:57:06,322
that night, which went well.

1659
00:57:06,472 --> 00:57:09,172
All four of us got together
for lunch the next day.

1660
00:57:09,172 --> 00:57:13,282
We were stunned when we realized We
had sat there talking for three hours.

1661
00:57:13,282 --> 00:57:14,392
It was obvious.

1662
00:57:14,542 --> 00:57:17,152
We all had connections,
so our next meeting was.

1663
00:57:17,362 --> 00:57:19,192
A play date that also went well.

1664
00:57:19,402 --> 00:57:23,662
Our next get together was another
friend date between myself and the wife.

1665
00:57:23,752 --> 00:57:27,682
I really felt like I had made a
new friend during this lunch date.

1666
00:57:27,682 --> 00:57:30,292
She commented on how much
she loved my leggings.

1667
00:57:30,502 --> 00:57:33,232
I had an extra pair, so I
thought to send them to her.

1668
00:57:33,457 --> 00:57:34,987
We didn't live in the same town.

1669
00:57:35,137 --> 00:57:38,827
I looked at their address as the wife
had given me their real names, but

1670
00:57:38,827 --> 00:57:42,247
then I thought I'd better ask first
as I didn't want to come off creepy.

1671
00:57:42,367 --> 00:57:46,237
I was chatting privately with her
hubby that night, and I mentioned

1672
00:57:46,417 --> 00:57:48,787
wanting to send the wife the leggings.

1673
00:57:48,907 --> 00:57:50,407
That's when I got put in my place.

1674
00:57:50,437 --> 00:57:54,697
He said, we don't mix our vanilla
life and our lifestyle life.

1675
00:57:54,877 --> 00:57:55,447
Wow.

1676
00:57:55,567 --> 00:57:56,017
Okay.

1677
00:57:56,017 --> 00:58:00,502
Then I felt like I'm good enough
to fuck because of the way we met.

1678
00:58:00,937 --> 00:58:01,777
That's it.

1679
00:58:02,017 --> 00:58:03,997
I wasn't proposing a family barbecue.

1680
00:58:03,997 --> 00:58:07,507
I just wanted to surprise her
with a $10 pair of fun leggings.

1681
00:58:07,717 --> 00:58:11,167
I wanted to tell him, dude,
I already have your address.

1682
00:58:11,467 --> 00:58:15,067
If I was going to to out you, I could.

1683
00:58:15,547 --> 00:58:18,127
But I said nothing
despite him pursuing me.

1684
00:58:18,127 --> 00:58:19,027
We never played.

1685
00:58:19,057 --> 00:58:23,617
My point is this, some people are
looking for friends to integrate

1686
00:58:23,617 --> 00:58:25,477
into their vanilla life and others.

1687
00:58:26,107 --> 00:58:27,457
Never want the two to meet.

1688
00:58:27,607 --> 00:58:27,697
Mm-hmm.

1689
00:58:27,967 --> 00:58:30,067
This is something to
know before diving in.

1690
00:58:30,157 --> 00:58:33,937
I think that this was a, an excellent
story, an excellent submission.

1691
00:58:34,117 --> 00:58:34,387
Scroll down,

1692
00:58:34,657 --> 00:58:38,287
uh, because, uh, that's,
that's really, uh,

1693
00:58:39,277 --> 00:58:40,147
oh yeah.

1694
00:58:40,147 --> 00:58:41,047
No, that's, um,

1695
00:58:41,077 --> 00:58:42,937
that's a really a, that's
just a great point.

1696
00:58:43,207 --> 00:58:44,557
That's a great point.

1697
00:58:44,557 --> 00:58:46,627
And I get it.

1698
00:58:47,272 --> 00:58:49,852
I get where he was coming from.

1699
00:58:50,392 --> 00:58:51,202
You are right.

1700
00:58:51,232 --> 00:58:53,122
Like, dude, come on now.

1701
00:58:53,152 --> 00:58:54,082
It's an overreaction.

1702
00:58:54,082 --> 00:58:54,982
It's an overreact.

1703
00:58:54,982 --> 00:58:59,332
I mean, I think that's an overreaction and
I would've never played with him again.

1704
00:58:59,362 --> 00:58:59,452
So

1705
00:58:59,452 --> 00:59:04,492
it's a strong overreaction and and
frankly, uh, that kind of reaction

1706
00:59:04,492 --> 00:59:06,292
would turn me off immediately.

1707
00:59:06,322 --> 00:59:06,772
Oh yeah.

1708
00:59:06,772 --> 00:59:09,322
And I would be like, okay,
dude, no sex for you.

1709
00:59:09,592 --> 00:59:09,712
Yeah.

1710
00:59:09,712 --> 00:59:10,252
You know what I mean?

1711
00:59:10,672 --> 00:59:10,792
Um,

1712
00:59:10,792 --> 00:59:12,472
and because like, what are you mixing?

1713
00:59:12,472 --> 00:59:13,882
Your vanilla, the mail.

1714
00:59:14,152 --> 00:59:14,782
The mail.

1715
00:59:14,782 --> 00:59:15,172
Is someone

1716
00:59:15,172 --> 00:59:15,502
gonna know, like

1717
00:59:15,772 --> 00:59:15,832
Yeah.

1718
00:59:16,452 --> 00:59:18,687
I, I don't see how that would be.

1719
00:59:19,402 --> 00:59:21,892
Mixing vanilla and, and lifestyle.

1720
00:59:21,952 --> 00:59:22,522
Yeah, that's silly.

1721
00:59:22,522 --> 00:59:26,812
And so, like I said, that reaction
from him just feels overdone.

1722
00:59:27,082 --> 00:59:30,172
Not to say that he's wrong, I
mean, maybe that's their thing.

1723
00:59:30,382 --> 00:59:33,262
Um, and maybe something has happened
to them that that's their thing now.

1724
00:59:33,262 --> 00:59:33,502
But

1725
00:59:33,502 --> 00:59:36,412
yeah, I mean there, there,
there's a lot of people and,

1726
00:59:36,412 --> 00:59:37,642
and it's a great point to make.

1727
00:59:37,672 --> 00:59:40,072
And the fact that there are
a lot of people who are.

1728
00:59:40,242 --> 00:59:41,232
Very discreet.

1729
00:59:41,442 --> 00:59:41,982
Yes, of course.

1730
00:59:41,982 --> 00:59:46,992
If you spent time with the wife and
y'all really got close to each other, if

1731
00:59:46,992 --> 00:59:50,682
they were that discreet, I would figure
that would've been mentioned by her.

1732
00:59:51,012 --> 00:59:52,032
It should have been.

1733
00:59:52,032 --> 00:59:52,422
Yeah.

1734
00:59:52,422 --> 00:59:53,592
Now one, one thing,

1735
00:59:53,592 --> 00:59:56,682
and I would've really gone to
the wife and been like, Hey, well

1736
00:59:56,682 --> 00:59:58,542
yeah, but she was trying to Well, I'm,

1737
00:59:58,572 --> 00:59:59,022
yeah,

1738
00:59:59,022 --> 00:59:59,562
yeah, that's true.

1739
00:59:59,562 --> 01:00:01,152
If you say, well, I have a
surprise for you, but I don't

1740
01:00:01,152 --> 01:00:01,962
wanna tell you what it is.

1741
01:00:01,962 --> 01:00:02,742
Can I send this to you?

1742
01:00:02,832 --> 01:00:03,372
Yeah.

1743
01:00:03,432 --> 01:00:04,287
Uh, that would've been better

1744
01:00:04,287 --> 01:00:06,792
and she probably would've been
a little bit nicer about it.

1745
01:00:07,567 --> 01:00:07,897
Yeah.

1746
01:00:08,047 --> 01:00:08,647
That's awesome.

1747
01:00:08,767 --> 01:00:09,367
That's awesome.

1748
01:00:09,367 --> 01:00:12,637
You know, I, I, I think that's, this,
this is a really good point, and

1749
01:00:12,637 --> 01:00:17,227
I'm really, really glad that my, my
buddy hippie chick went ahead and

1750
01:00:17,227 --> 01:00:20,827
submitted that because it's, it,
it is really, really a great point.

1751
01:00:20,857 --> 01:00:20,917
Yeah.

1752
01:00:21,577 --> 01:00:24,967
Um, because there are a lot of people
in this lifestyle that they don't.

1753
01:00:25,392 --> 01:00:28,302
They don't mix the two and they
really try and keep them separate.

1754
01:00:28,542 --> 01:00:31,122
There are a lot of people in
the lifestyle who don't even

1755
01:00:31,122 --> 01:00:32,802
consider themselves lifestylers.

1756
01:00:33,312 --> 01:00:33,762
Wait.

1757
01:00:33,852 --> 01:00:37,722
There's even people in the lifestyle
that don't even, like, they will not play

1758
01:00:37,782 --> 01:00:39,912
or talk to anybody in their hometown.

1759
01:00:40,302 --> 01:00:40,932
Oh yeah.

1760
01:00:40,932 --> 01:00:42,012
We know some of them,

1761
01:00:42,072 --> 01:00:42,612
so

1762
01:00:42,672 --> 01:00:43,842
Yeah, totally get it.

1763
01:00:43,842 --> 01:00:44,052
You know?

1764
01:00:44,112 --> 01:00:46,722
So everybody's on their
own discretionary level.

1765
01:00:46,722 --> 01:00:49,302
Was this an overreaction totes?

1766
01:00:49,362 --> 01:00:50,112
Absolutely.

1767
01:00:50,507 --> 01:00:51,377
Overreaction.

1768
01:00:51,407 --> 01:00:53,747
But for him, he probably didn't think so.

1769
01:00:53,837 --> 01:00:58,907
But realistically, we all have to consider
that whenever we talk to other people.

1770
01:00:59,057 --> 01:01:00,407
That's reactive right there.

1771
01:01:00,617 --> 01:01:02,537
The way he reacted was reactive.

1772
01:01:02,687 --> 01:01:03,707
It was immediate.

1773
01:01:03,767 --> 01:01:07,337
It was kind of rough and,
and, and unnecessary.

1774
01:01:07,957 --> 01:01:11,797
I think that if he wanted to, he
could have explained his situation

1775
01:01:11,797 --> 01:01:15,307
a little bit better, where it didn't
have to be a reaction like that.

1776
01:01:15,367 --> 01:01:17,557
And so there's just so many
things that play on that one.

1777
01:01:17,557 --> 01:01:22,867
I, I, I, I appreciate that, that, that,
that quip that story because I, I think.

1778
01:01:23,177 --> 01:01:24,557
There's a lot to be had from that one.

1779
01:01:24,557 --> 01:01:24,617
Yeah,

1780
01:01:24,947 --> 01:01:25,157
for sure.

1781
01:01:25,187 --> 01:01:28,757
Um, so with that, that takes
care of our confessionals.

1782
01:01:28,757 --> 01:01:32,897
Just a reminder to you guys out there,
we have the confessional, we, we have

1783
01:01:32,897 --> 01:01:35,867
this ability that you can give us.

1784
01:01:36,017 --> 01:01:39,527
Now, I, I, I said who that last one was
because, uh, that's a friend of mine

1785
01:01:39,527 --> 01:01:43,487
who she outed herself on, on, on my
social media that that was her story.

1786
01:01:43,487 --> 01:01:45,797
But like I said, I, I don't know.

1787
01:01:45,827 --> 01:01:49,707
Neither one of us know the stories,
who they belong to, that sort of thing.

1788
01:01:50,482 --> 01:01:54,082
We love the fact that people feel
that this is a safe space, that

1789
01:01:54,082 --> 01:01:58,037
they can give us our, uh, our
interactions and those stories.

1790
01:01:58,037 --> 01:01:58,317
Mm-hmm.

1791
01:01:58,317 --> 01:01:58,517
Mm-hmm.

1792
01:01:58,637 --> 01:01:58,972
We love that.

1793
01:01:59,092 --> 01:02:03,052
And so if you want to take part in
that, if you want to talk to us and

1794
01:02:03,052 --> 01:02:06,592
not be named, but you want to tell
us everything that you can, you

1795
01:02:06,592 --> 01:02:10,342
can do so at our website and we'll
give that to you in just a minute.

1796
01:02:10,342 --> 01:02:12,142
But with that, we're gonna
go ahead and wrap up.

1797
01:02:12,412 --> 01:02:14,272
We're gonna say, thanks
for hanging with us.

1798
01:02:14,522 --> 01:02:15,752
For this week's quickie.

1799
01:02:15,752 --> 01:02:15,842
Yes.

1800
01:02:15,992 --> 01:02:17,552
Thank you all about the confessionals.

1801
01:02:17,582 --> 01:02:22,142
If you loved it, make sure to like,
subscribe and share and leave us a

1802
01:02:22,142 --> 01:02:26,402
review because it seriously helps us
grow and it keeps the conversation going.

1803
01:02:27,082 --> 01:02:33,202
And you can find everything beyond
monogamy@www.beyondmonogamy.com, including

1804
01:02:33,202 --> 01:02:36,832
our Beyond Monogamy Confessional that
he has mentioned, and all our blog

1805
01:02:36,832 --> 01:02:39,562
posts, merch, and all the juicy extras.

1806
01:02:39,652 --> 01:02:40,372
Absolutely.

1807
01:02:40,372 --> 01:02:44,692
And don't forget to check out our events
tab on that same website for details

1808
01:02:44,692 --> 01:02:49,222
on the upcoming Beyond Monogamy events
like the upcoming Beyond Monogamy Meet

1809
01:02:49,222 --> 01:02:54,532
and greet at Club Eden San Antonio this
Saturday, December 13th at 9:00 PM.

1810
01:02:55,102 --> 01:03:00,202
Uh, for those of you who would like
to hang out with us and you're in the

1811
01:03:00,202 --> 01:03:03,472
San Antonio area, are you planning
on being in the San Antonio area?

1812
01:03:03,772 --> 01:03:05,122
Come on down and see us.

1813
01:03:05,122 --> 01:03:05,992
We're gonna be there.

1814
01:03:05,992 --> 01:03:08,932
We're gonna have accounts, we're gonna
be hanging out with a lot of people.

1815
01:03:08,932 --> 01:03:12,622
Shout out to our friends, Nicole
and Isaac with the Pineapple

1816
01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:14,482
House, Texas from Houston.

1817
01:03:14,512 --> 01:03:17,182
We did a show with them and they
are actually going to be out there

1818
01:03:17,182 --> 01:03:20,542
with us, celebrating with us, and
we have several other people coming.

1819
01:03:20,542 --> 01:03:21,242
We're actually gonna be up.

1820
01:03:21,722 --> 01:03:25,112
Shooting a show out there
before the club opens.

1821
01:03:25,142 --> 01:03:25,412
Yes.

1822
01:03:25,502 --> 01:03:26,822
Uh, so that's gonna be a lot of fun.

1823
01:03:26,882 --> 01:03:29,927
Uh, so if you can make it,
make it because we're gonna be

1824
01:03:29,927 --> 01:03:30,332
there, be there.

1825
01:03:30,332 --> 01:03:31,052
Be Square.

1826
01:03:31,052 --> 01:03:31,562
That's right.

1827
01:03:31,712 --> 01:03:35,072
We're also streaming every
Thursday on full swap radio.com

1828
01:03:35,072 --> 01:03:37,052
at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central.

1829
01:03:37,052 --> 01:03:39,302
So tune in and show us some love there.

1830
01:03:39,392 --> 01:03:43,412
And if you wanna help us grow this
community, join our Patreon at.

1831
01:03:43,792 --> 01:03:48,802
patreon.com/beyond
monogamy with Adam PRIs.

1832
01:03:48,892 --> 01:03:51,052
That's where you'll get all the
early access behind the scene

1833
01:03:51,052 --> 01:03:52,972
moments and after hours content.

1834
01:03:53,332 --> 01:03:58,912
All right, so guys, we got a gift from
the Happy Swinger and I'm going to show

1835
01:03:58,972 --> 01:04:02,122
everything that we, I'm not gonna be
able to show everything that we got, but

1836
01:04:02,332 --> 01:04:04,912
this lamp right here, they made this.

1837
01:04:05,222 --> 01:04:08,372
And they customized it to the
colors that we wanted, so it

1838
01:04:08,372 --> 01:04:09,632
was a surprise for my boo bear.

1839
01:04:09,872 --> 01:04:10,022
Very

1840
01:04:10,022 --> 01:04:10,112
cool.

1841
01:04:10,112 --> 01:04:13,202
It has an orange little top and the blue.

1842
01:04:13,202 --> 01:04:17,792
It's blue down here, and it has a light
in there, but they also made us a dors.

1843
01:04:18,157 --> 01:04:21,457
That we forgot to use at the
takeover, and they also make like

1844
01:04:21,457 --> 01:04:22,777
key chains and stuff like that.

1845
01:04:22,777 --> 01:04:26,887
But, uh, we're gonna share all their
information on our links and I'll also

1846
01:04:26,887 --> 01:04:29,077
share it on all of our social medias.

1847
01:04:29,077 --> 01:04:33,337
But if you want to order one of these
guys, let me tell you, it is so worth it.

1848
01:04:33,427 --> 01:04:33,667
Yeah.

1849
01:04:33,667 --> 01:04:36,037
You know the happy swinger on TikTok?

1850
01:04:36,112 --> 01:04:36,332
Yes.

1851
01:04:36,547 --> 01:04:38,077
Uh, that's where we linked up with them.

1852
01:04:38,317 --> 01:04:39,007
The Happy Swinger.

1853
01:04:39,007 --> 01:04:40,567
They're, they do amazing work.

1854
01:04:40,567 --> 01:04:43,417
I follow them as well, and
I've seen a lot of their work.

1855
01:04:43,737 --> 01:04:47,037
I am thrilled that we were able to
get the stuff that we get right.

1856
01:04:47,037 --> 01:04:49,947
They sent us a whole package
of really cool stuff, A whole

1857
01:04:49,947 --> 01:04:50,157
package

1858
01:04:50,457 --> 01:04:52,977
they, they sent That's gonna sound funny.

1859
01:04:53,457 --> 01:04:54,327
A dick whistle.

1860
01:04:54,417 --> 01:04:55,917
Yes, they

1861
01:04:55,917 --> 01:04:56,007
did.

1862
01:04:56,007 --> 01:05:00,107
It's a penis whistle and uh, I.
That was, that was hilarious.

1863
01:05:00,347 --> 01:05:03,227
Uh, but there was a lot of different
things that they sent us that

1864
01:05:03,227 --> 01:05:05,087
they, they, they create Yeah.

1865
01:05:05,087 --> 01:05:05,807
Themselves.

1866
01:05:06,017 --> 01:05:08,867
And, uh, you know, we, we definitely
wanted to give them a shout out

1867
01:05:08,867 --> 01:05:10,622
because they do incredible work.

1868
01:05:10,942 --> 01:05:12,467
I mean, like, this is incredible.

1869
01:05:12,467 --> 01:05:13,577
This is incredible.

1870
01:05:13,577 --> 01:05:16,247
Like the detail on this
thing is amazing, guys.

1871
01:05:16,247 --> 01:05:16,257
Yeah.

1872
01:05:16,257 --> 01:05:16,267
Like,

1873
01:05:16,757 --> 01:05:17,057
yeah.

1874
01:05:17,057 --> 01:05:17,837
Absolutely.

1875
01:05:18,077 --> 01:05:21,257
So to our friends, the happy swingers.

1876
01:05:21,697 --> 01:05:22,842
We want to say thank you.

1877
01:05:22,842 --> 01:05:22,987
Thank you.

1878
01:05:23,137 --> 01:05:25,567
I want to say thank you because
I know my love is the one

1879
01:05:25,567 --> 01:05:27,277
that that was setting this up.

1880
01:05:27,547 --> 01:05:29,917
I personally would like to
say thank you to you guys.

1881
01:05:29,977 --> 01:05:34,987
We really appreciate all the love and
support just on the podcast end of it.

1882
01:05:34,987 --> 01:05:38,617
I know that you guys share a lot of our
clips and things like that, but also

1883
01:05:38,647 --> 01:05:40,747
for this, this, I mean, I love this.

1884
01:05:40,752 --> 01:05:40,762
Mm-hmm.

1885
01:05:40,847 --> 01:05:44,677
I think this is a great addition
to our set, so thank you.

1886
01:05:44,742 --> 01:05:48,882
To the Happy Swinger and I, I'm
just gonna throw this out there for

1887
01:05:48,942 --> 01:05:52,932
everybody who's in this lifestyle world.

1888
01:05:52,992 --> 01:05:58,992
If you create, if you make things that
are specific to this lifestyle, I want

1889
01:05:58,992 --> 01:06:04,962
you to contact us and if you can send
what you can and we will focus it.

1890
01:06:05,137 --> 01:06:06,817
On the show, we'll have it on the show.

1891
01:06:06,817 --> 01:06:11,227
We, we love to show off what our community
members can do because we believe in

1892
01:06:11,227 --> 01:06:12,847
this community, we love this community.

1893
01:06:12,852 --> 01:06:12,932
Mm-hmm.

1894
01:06:13,147 --> 01:06:13,237
Mm-hmm.

1895
01:06:13,237 --> 01:06:17,047
And we love to share everything
that we can with everybody.

1896
01:06:17,497 --> 01:06:19,147
So shout out to the happy swinger.

1897
01:06:19,147 --> 01:06:20,857
Thank you so much for that.

1898
01:06:20,857 --> 01:06:22,177
We appreciate you that.

1899
01:06:22,267 --> 01:06:25,447
Thank you for listening and we
will see you guys next week.

1900
01:06:25,687 --> 01:06:25,897
Bye.