Love, Lust, and Lifestyle: Paul Keable Joins Beyond Monogamy
In this week’s episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we sit down with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, the world’s #1 married dating app with over 85 million members worldwide. Far from being just a platform for secret liaisons, Ashley Madison has become a fascinating case study in how technology, desire, and changing social norms are reshaping conversations around non-monogamy, intimacy, and discretion.
Paul shares insider insights on why people seek out alternative relationship styles, what their massive trove of real-world data reveals about the future of monogamy, and how 20% of members now identify as “disclosed non-monogamous”—meaning their partners are aware of, or even participate in, their activity on the site.
We dive into cultural shifts, surprising academic studies (like research showing 80% of women on the platform are in sexless or orgasm-less marriages, while men often join seeking emotional validation), and the myths that mainstream society gets wrong about ethical non-monogamy.
And yes, we also got some juicy behind-the-scenes details—like why France is Ashley Madison’s weakest market (because infidelity is already culturally normalized!) and the story of Bobby Goldman, aka The Curvy Widow, who turned her Ashley Madison adventures into an off-Broadway play.
Whether you’re curious about the lifestyle, actively practicing ethical non-monogamy, or just fascinated by the psychology of relationships, this episode peels back the stereotypes and gives you an inside look at how monogamy and non-monogamy are evolving in 2025 and beyond.
In this week’s episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we sit down with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, the world’s #1 married dating app with over 85 million members worldwide. Far from being just a platform for secret liaisons, Ashley Madison has become a fascinating case study in how technology, desire, and changing social norms are reshaping conversations around non-monogamy, intimacy, and discretion.
Paul shares insider insights on why people seek out alternative relationship styles, what their massive trove of real-world data reveals about the future of monogamy, and how 20% of members now identify as “disclosed non-monogamous”—meaning their partners are aware of, or even participate in, their activity on the site.
We dive into cultural shifts, surprising academic studies (like research showing 80% of women on the platform are in sexless or orgasm-less marriages, while men often join seeking emotional validation), and the myths that mainstream society gets wrong about ethical non-monogamy.
And yes, we also got some juicy behind-the-scenes details—like why France is Ashley Madison’s weakest market (because infidelity is already culturally normalized!) and the story of Bobby Goldman, aka The Curvy Widow, who turned her Ashley Madison adventures into an off-Broadway play.
Whether you’re curious about the lifestyle, actively practicing ethical non-monogamy, or just fascinated by the psychology of relationships, this episode peels back the stereotypes and gives you an inside look at how monogamy and non-monogamy are evolving in 2025 and beyond.
📌 Show Notes & Key Takeaways
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Guest: Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer, Ashley Madison
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Ashley Madison Facts:
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🌎 85+ million members worldwide
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📊 Roughly 1.13 active women for every 1 active paid man account (yes, women are there!)
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🔐 Features include private photo lockers, stealth mode, and discretion tools to protect user privacy
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💡 Fun fact: Ashley Madison has even been parodied on The Simpsons, proving its cultural impact
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Hot Topics Discussed:
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Why monogamy shouldn’t always be the default
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How women often lead the transition into non-monogamy
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The “One Penis Policy” red flag in lifestyle dynamics
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Why toys aren’t competition—they’re allies
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How better communication = stronger relationships, monogamous or not
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Memorable Quote: “When monogamy becomes monotony.” – Paul Keable
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Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Office of Ashley Madison
Chief Strategy Office - Ashley Madison
Paul Keable is the Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, the world’s leading married dating platform with over 85 million members worldwide. Since joining the company in 2013, Paul has become one of the most recognized voices in conversations about monogamy, non-monogamy, adultery, and how technology shapes intimacy.
In his role, Paul collaborates with academics, media outlets, and communities across the globe to challenge cultural misconceptions about relationships. He has worked with researchers to explore why people pursue affairs, how non-monogamy is evolving, and what the data tells us about modern desires. From studies showing women often leave monogamy earlier than men, to research revealing men seek emotional validation more than physical novelty, Paul brings nuance to topics often oversimplified or stigmatized.
Paul’s insights have been featured in documentaries, global media, and even pop culture references like The Simpsons. He describes his mission as helping people better understand why non-monogamy exists—not to promote a lifestyle, but to spark honest conversations about desire, communication, and relationship diversity.
Despite representing a company often tied to controversy, Paul speaks candidly about how Ashley Madison has shifted from shock-value marketing to building a platform centered on discretion, safety, and choice. He emphasizes that at its core, Ashley Madison isn’t just about affairs—it’s about allowing adults to define relationships on their own terms.
When he’s not speaking on stages, podcasts, or to the… Read More
