CONFESSIONS: Lifestyle Red Flags, Unrealistic Expectations & Jealousy in ENM

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Alright y'all, before we
dive in, a quick heads up.

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This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated pg.

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We're talking about adult themes, sexual
content, and the kind of stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kits.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not
licensed therapists, counselors, or sex.

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Couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches,

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not sex couches

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or just a couple of people sharing our
lives, experiences and sexy adventures.

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An ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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And.

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Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today on our quickie, we are
gonna be diving into a couple of

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anonymous lifestyle confessionals.

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One is about obligation
and awkward energy, and the

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other one is about jealousy.

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When the attention gets heavy.

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Yeah, both of these came straight from
our 100% anonymous confessional on our

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website, www dot beyond monogamy do com.

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So if you've got a story, a struggle,
or whatever you want to tell us, if

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it's one of those what just happened,
kind of moments, hey, send it in.

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We like those.

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I like those.

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Yeah.

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And make sure you're following us wherever
you're listening, especially on Spotify,

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so you don't miss any of these quickies.

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That's right.

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So with that.

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Let's go ahead and get
into this first one.

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I'm gonna go ahead and read this.

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Okay.

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Word for word,

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read it

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as it came into our confessional.

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Most of the LS sites have a place where
you can enter where you'll be That weekend

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I noted on our profile that we were going
to a lifestyle hotel in Palm Springs.

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That was it.

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Just a broad, we'll be here,
maybe we'll see you kind of thing.

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A husband sends me a message at 7:00
PM that had a bit of frantic energy

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confirming that we would, if we would
really be there when I said we would.

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He said, okay, we're heading there now.

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They were three hours away.

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Mind you, we have never conversed with
this couple at all prior to this message.

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Our entire conversation consisted of me
confirming that we'd really be there.

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They got to the hotel and tracked us
down at the hot tubs he had messaged.

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When they got there asking
where we were, there was no

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attraction for my husband and me.

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The dude was too pushy and hyped up.

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I suspected drugs and his wife just
sat there quietly in the corner of the

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hot tub, not making any eye contact.

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Plus, by this point in
the evening, I was tired.

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The guy was pissed when my husband
indicated that we weren't a match.

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He didn't push it.

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We skedaddled back to our room and
was like, what the fuck was that?

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The lesson is never feel obligated
to play with someone no matter how

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far they've driven to meet you.

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The other lesson is have the
man be the one to tell the other

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husband that there isn't a match.

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There are way less, they are
way less likely to argue.

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My husband would take the other
husband aside and say, sorry, guy.

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The wife just isn't feeling it.

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It makes for a smooth exit.

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That's interesting.

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That's interesting.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I totally get it though.

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I think I've had people travel
just to, uh, say hi to me.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Well, you

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know, I mean, and this
was before even like.

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Moving here.

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Like I think we've had people, even
when we were in our other town, just

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'cause they knew I was at a bar.

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Like working Oh yeah.

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Or something they did.

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Did they just go,

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oh yeah well, you know, and
that's the thing about it.

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So we've, that's kind of starts me off
because we have had the conversation

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about how far you would travel for sex.

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Yes.

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Now.

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You would not travel very far.

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I said I would travel at least three
hours, but that's for guaranteed sex.

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Yeah.

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I wouldn't travel for possible sex.

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Yeah.

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And especially not three hours.

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That's a lot.

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That's a lot.

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So that right there tells you
that this person is already.

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They, they've got high expectations.

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Yeah.

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They've got expectations that they're
gonna show up, they're gonna play.

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Oh, yeah.

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And I think that's one of the biggest
mistakes that couples can make when

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they're new in the lifestyle is that
we just set up a date with somebody.

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We're, we're gonna get lucky tonight.

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It's like,

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oh yeah, bro.

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That is not even the case ever.

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No,

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I really feel like, and I'm
gonna say this loosely, okay.

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True.

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Lifestyle people for the most part know
you're not gonna get lucky on the first.

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Hello.

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Yeah,

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and I mean, I'm gonna say that
like true because we've been

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in the lifestyle for 15 years.

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Um, I've been in it a
little longer than that.

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And never ever did I ever
think, Ooh, I'm gonna get lucky.

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My partner be pre before Adam.

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Always thought that, really always
thought, I'm gonna get lucky.

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And I was like, yeah, nah.

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Yeah, not,

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and I know that that was a source of
contention when you guys were together.

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Yeah.

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Uh, and you guys would meet other couples
because the couples always just wanted you

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and wouldn't really pay attention to him.

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Yeah.

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And I

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mean, the thought is, the thought is hot.

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Yeah.

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The thought of of going and meeting
up, I mean, when we first started,

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we would go to a party that was
what, about an hour away from us.

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Yeah.

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And.

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Yeah, it would've been really cool
to kind of hook up that night.

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Did we leave?

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With like disappointment.

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Maybe sometimes,

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I've never,

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I mean, I don't know.

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I've never gone in with the
expectation of playing with others.

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No.

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Yeah.

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Unless it's been like a, a, a date
with another couple and it's, we've had

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already talked about, oh, well we're
gonna get a hotel or whatever, like,

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yeah, that's already been talked about.

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Then I may have that slight expectation
of, okay, this is gonna happen.

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Yeah.

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Going to a party, going to a club,
going to a place where there's

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several couples and things like that.

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Don't go in with expectations.

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I've never had an expectation of man,
you know, this couple we've been talking

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to, we're totally gonna bang him tonight.

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No.

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Like never

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can't think like that.

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Now, anytime we go any place, I always do
have the expectation of you and I playing.

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Oh yeah, of course.

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And so that's a given, and that's
what I've told some friends of ours

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who are new to lifestyle is that.

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You don't have to play with others to

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have fun.

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To have fun.

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Yeah.

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Like we go to the club, oftentimes
you and I are the only ones

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that play with each other.

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Yeah.

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And that's it.

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Like,

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and that's it.

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Right.

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We leave by the end of the
night, you know what I mean?

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And

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we're, we're, and we're happy with that.

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Now does that make us less lifestyles?

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I don't think so.

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I don't think so

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either.

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And then the other thing I want to touch
base on is she had, she says it's easier

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for her, for her husband to be the one to
say no you know, they're not interested

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or the wife isn't feeling it or whatever.

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I disagree.

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I, I wanna say it depends on your couple.

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Yeah, it depends on the person.

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Like here, I'm the one who.

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Is okay with telling people
Yeah, no, I'm not feeling it.

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It's just a personality
thing on, on, on our part.

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It, it's,

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granted, I, I can be, I can
look like the big scary guy.

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When I'm crossed and I get upset,
yeah, people can, can back off.

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And I know that there's a lot of
guys who will respond to that, but.

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If, if you ask me, my wife is 10
times scarier than me, and most men

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and women if you cross her will, will
be scared of her more so than of me.

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You know what I mean?

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Uh, so, and, and I don't, I
don't like to hurt feelings.

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Yeah.

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I don't, I don't care to be
the heavy I will if I have to.

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But my wife just has
way less fucks to give.

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Yeah.

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I just don't care.

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Like if I'm not feeling it and.

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Well, first of all, if I see that
the expectation that, that they

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think there's an expectation and I
know that there's not, I will squash

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that expectation within seconds of
knowing that they have an expectation.

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Yeah.

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Um,

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you'll purposefully

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not sleep with

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somebody purpose.

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Exactly.

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Just

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to prove a point.

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Purpose.

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Just to prove a point.

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That is so true.

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Um, I am that, I am that bitch.

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One, it's my choice.

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It's not your choice.

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It's my choice.

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And.

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My husband is gonna go along with
whatever I feel or am feeling.

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That moment only, I mean, I give
him respect, but I'm saying like,

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you go along with, I'm just like,
yeah, I'm not feeling I, it, I'm

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not, I'm just not, I'm not doing it.

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And I'm so selective that
it's that's our thing.

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Um, yeah, I think everybody
configure their own, you know.

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Maybe your husband is good at is better
at that than you are and that Yeah.

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That works for you guys.

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I mean,

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and that's why I said I, it could
be just a personality thing.

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Yeah, exactly.

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The, the way the, because I don't
disagree with how you put that.

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I, I know that a lot of
men are more accepting

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Yes.

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With

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other

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men,

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of other men.

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Mm-hmm.

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Saying, okay, yeah, no,
this isn't gonna work.

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Yeah.

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They maybe won't press up
on the subject as much but.

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My wife has an amazing attitude that
she can fling at people, and she's

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frankly better at it than I am.

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And

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yeah, you're, you're sweetheart.

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You're

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very, I'm, I'm a pretty nice guy.

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Yeah.

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And I'm a

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pretty nice guy.

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You just don't like to hurt feelings.

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If some, if he knew that you drove three
hours, he'd be like, guess someone.

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Give her the deck.

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00:09:35,668 --> 00:09:37,888
I'd be like, damn, you drove three hours.

255
00:09:38,093 --> 00:09:38,383
Okay.

256
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:38,823
I guess,

257
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:41,338
I guess I can overlook the looks.

258
00:09:41,428 --> 00:09:41,668
Just, yeah.

259
00:09:42,358 --> 00:09:44,758
I'll give you three hours worth as far as

260
00:09:45,258 --> 00:09:45,478
Oh,

261
00:09:45,698 --> 00:09:46,183
as good.

262
00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:47,293
Five

263
00:09:47,293 --> 00:09:47,473
minutes.

264
00:09:47,473 --> 00:09:47,863
That's so sweet.

265
00:09:48,178 --> 00:09:49,573
Hey, you know, I triple my time.

266
00:09:50,073 --> 00:09:50,313
Yeah.

267
00:09:50,313 --> 00:09:53,243
You know, I mean, that's, that
is a, a really good a good

268
00:09:53,243 --> 00:09:54,263
one to come across though.

269
00:09:54,323 --> 00:09:54,593
Yeah.

270
00:09:54,623 --> 00:09:56,603
Because this is.

271
00:09:57,338 --> 00:10:03,928
This is where you run across people
who have a really amazing fantasy about

272
00:10:04,198 --> 00:10:04,288
mm-hmm.

273
00:10:04,528 --> 00:10:05,968
What this lifestyle is like.

274
00:10:05,968 --> 00:10:06,058
Mm-hmm.

275
00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:09,178
And it goes back to
fantasy versus reality.

276
00:10:09,788 --> 00:10:14,018
The fantasy of it is this
guy probably said, oh, wow.

277
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:16,268
So they put that, that they're out there.

278
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:20,363
So all we gotta do is show up and
we're, we're, we're sealed in the deal.

279
00:10:20,418 --> 00:10:20,708
What?

280
00:10:20,808 --> 00:10:21,353
You know what I mean?

281
00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,733
That's how some people think.

282
00:10:22,733 --> 00:10:26,093
I know it seems crazy and there
aren't probably some of y'all

283
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,823
listening that are like, I don't
see what's wrong with that logic.

284
00:10:28,823 --> 00:10:29,633
There's something wrong with that logic.

285
00:10:29,633 --> 00:10:29,753
There's

286
00:10:29,753 --> 00:10:30,868
a lot wrong with that logic.

287
00:10:30,868 --> 00:10:31,228
There's

288
00:10:31,228 --> 00:10:31,828
something wrong with that logic.

289
00:10:31,838 --> 00:10:32,188
Lemme

290
00:10:32,258 --> 00:10:32,668
tell you,

291
00:10:33,058 --> 00:10:34,348
there's something wrong with that logic.

292
00:10:34,928 --> 00:10:35,668
Uh, it, it's.

293
00:10:36,378 --> 00:10:38,688
You can't expect things like that.

294
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:41,968
It is the fantasy view of the lifestyle.

295
00:10:41,998 --> 00:10:42,088
Mm-hmm.

296
00:10:42,328 --> 00:10:43,678
It is not the realistic side.

297
00:10:43,778 --> 00:10:43,788
Mm-hmm.

298
00:10:43,988 --> 00:10:46,898
Uh, now are there people who
are exceptions to that rule?

299
00:10:47,018 --> 00:10:47,798
Absolutely.

300
00:10:48,158 --> 00:10:51,728
There are people who
are purely down to fuck.

301
00:10:51,758 --> 00:10:53,318
They don't care who it's with.

302
00:10:53,318 --> 00:10:53,378
Yeah.

303
00:10:53,978 --> 00:11:00,278
But usually those people are very
open and upfront on their profiles.

304
00:11:00,653 --> 00:11:03,863
Or, uh, you know, whenever you strike
up a conversation with them mm-hmm.

305
00:11:04,103 --> 00:11:05,753
They're normally pretty forward about it.

306
00:11:05,753 --> 00:11:08,603
People who are very down to
fuck and just want anybody

307
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:11,003
will be very vocal about that.

308
00:11:11,063 --> 00:11:11,153
Mm-hmm.

309
00:11:11,633 --> 00:11:16,073
Uh, but those are few and
far between or is it Yeah,

310
00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:17,363
few and far.

311
00:11:17,453 --> 00:11:17,513
Yeah.

312
00:11:17,513 --> 00:11:19,613
Is it far and few between?

313
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:22,183
Either way it's, there's,
they're, they're rare.

314
00:11:22,188 --> 00:11:22,328
Yeah.

315
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:22,633
Yeah,

316
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:23,323
they're rare.

317
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:23,683
It's,

318
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:27,263
And so that's really the realism of this.

319
00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:30,818
Is that you need a, you
need actual chemistry.

320
00:11:31,448 --> 00:11:32,858
You need mutual chemistry.

321
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:34,353
You need something, you need something.

322
00:11:34,598 --> 00:11:35,913
These people said, they didn't
even have a conversation with

323
00:11:35,913 --> 00:11:35,993
them.

324
00:11:35,993 --> 00:11:38,258
They didn't have a conversation until
that person, person reached out.

325
00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:39,878
I'd like, who the hell
do you think you're,

326
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,273
I, I think that's pretty presumptuous.

327
00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:43,273
I mean, no,

328
00:11:43,773 --> 00:11:48,073
you know, I'm all for, uh, you know,
we welcome everybody to hang out with

329
00:11:48,073 --> 00:11:49,483
us and that sort of thing, but, uh.

330
00:11:50,258 --> 00:11:50,828
Hanging out.

331
00:11:50,903 --> 00:11:51,183
I don't

332
00:11:51,183 --> 00:11:51,863
think you're gonna get any

333
00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:55,948
hanging out and having sex are
two different parties, my friend.

334
00:11:56,438 --> 00:12:00,218
And yeah, there are some people who
have a leg in both, but there are some

335
00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:02,228
people who only have a leg in one.

336
00:12:02,728 --> 00:12:06,358
So, you know, you just, you
just can't expect things.

337
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:07,828
You can't have expectations.

338
00:12:08,068 --> 00:12:08,698
It's horrible.

339
00:12:09,148 --> 00:12:15,113
A lot of people do, they brought up
the frantic energy and suspected drugs.

340
00:12:15,643 --> 00:12:15,733
Yes.

341
00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:20,953
I hate to break it to you guys,
but that, that happens a lot.

342
00:12:20,958 --> 00:12:21,218
Yeah,

343
00:12:21,718 --> 00:12:22,888
that happens a lot.

344
00:12:23,463 --> 00:12:23,793
Yeah, it does.

345
00:12:23,823 --> 00:12:25,128
Um, and it is a turnoff.

346
00:12:25,948 --> 00:12:27,608
I do I understand it.

347
00:12:27,618 --> 00:12:31,058
I'm not on that side of
things, but I do I get it.

348
00:12:31,058 --> 00:12:34,478
There's people who wanna stay up all
night and party all night, and they wanna

349
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:39,818
be able to last as long as some of the
younger people and, and whatever it is.

350
00:12:39,818 --> 00:12:39,908
Mm-hmm.

351
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:40,413
Uh,

352
00:12:40,913 --> 00:12:46,103
but know that, uh, there's a lot of
people that don't partake, oftentimes if

353
00:12:46,103 --> 00:12:48,683
you come across this wild-eyed energy.

354
00:12:49,183 --> 00:12:51,673
That's gonna be kind
of a red flag sometimes

355
00:12:51,823 --> 00:12:52,423
immediately.

356
00:12:52,453 --> 00:12:52,813
Yeah.

357
00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:57,973
You're, you're probably not off about
the, uh, the suspecting of drugs.

358
00:12:58,033 --> 00:12:58,213
Oh,

359
00:12:58,613 --> 00:12:58,673
Yeah,

360
00:12:59,513 --> 00:13:00,053
for sure.

361
00:13:00,173 --> 00:13:00,443
Yeah.

362
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:01,493
Hope we drove three hours.

363
00:13:01,993 --> 00:13:02,323
Yeah.

364
00:13:02,713 --> 00:13:03,463
Three hours.

365
00:13:04,003 --> 00:13:06,343
And his wife had a far
off look in her eye.

366
00:13:06,343 --> 00:13:08,383
Well, no, she obviously
wasn't on the drugs.

367
00:13:09,143 --> 00:13:11,993
But you know, you'll run into
that a lot, unfortunately.

368
00:13:11,993 --> 00:13:12,083
Mm-hmm.

369
00:13:12,323 --> 00:13:14,213
The altered states, I mean, you know, you.

370
00:13:14,978 --> 00:13:17,198
We know that people, uh, drink.

371
00:13:17,198 --> 00:13:18,908
And that's, that's one way to loosen up.

372
00:13:18,908 --> 00:13:24,308
But there's just something about the
idea of going to party and having fun.

373
00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:28,478
And, you know, I've heard of,
of ecstasy being passed around

374
00:13:28,488 --> 00:13:30,138
and different things like that.

375
00:13:30,138 --> 00:13:33,168
Hey, you know what works for you guys?

376
00:13:33,168 --> 00:13:34,098
Hey, good for you.

377
00:13:34,183 --> 00:13:34,633
Good for you.

378
00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:38,998
But there's a lot of us that,
that does nothing for us.

379
00:13:38,998 --> 00:13:40,333
If anything, it turns us off.

380
00:13:40,913 --> 00:13:41,773
It, it does.

381
00:13:41,923 --> 00:13:42,653
It's instant.

382
00:13:43,153 --> 00:13:43,933
Attraction.

383
00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:44,383
Yeah.

384
00:13:44,413 --> 00:13:46,713
Like it's just not, it's not sexy.

385
00:13:46,773 --> 00:13:46,993
No.

386
00:13:47,218 --> 00:13:50,618
Uh, and, and then, you know, to
roundabout the fact that the wife

387
00:13:50,618 --> 00:13:53,318
was kind of distant in the hot tub,

388
00:13:53,318 --> 00:13:54,278
that tells you so much.

389
00:13:54,278 --> 00:13:55,508
It's mismatched energy.

390
00:13:55,508 --> 00:13:58,808
So you've got one person who's really
excited, which is usually the guy,

391
00:13:59,288 --> 00:14:02,598
and then you've got the wife who's
kind of, you know, sitting back

392
00:14:02,598 --> 00:14:04,308
and not really into it as much.

393
00:14:04,708 --> 00:14:06,448
You know, that just, that's very telling.

394
00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:06,808
Oh yeah.

395
00:14:06,808 --> 00:14:10,108
And that major red flags, I mean,
major, all of that, that's just riddled.

396
00:14:10,528 --> 00:14:12,148
Riddled with red flags.

397
00:14:12,148 --> 00:14:12,208
Yeah.

398
00:14:12,478 --> 00:14:17,378
And you know, people can read that story
and go, oh, well I recognize one or two.

399
00:14:17,828 --> 00:14:21,648
And that thing has, it, it is
a, it's a full ass red flag

400
00:14:21,648 --> 00:14:25,668
from the moment that he messaged
without any previous conversation.

401
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:26,298
Yeah.

402
00:14:26,303 --> 00:14:28,963
Uh, and, and ended up
traveling three hours like.

403
00:14:29,678 --> 00:14:31,928
You got a stalker on your hands

404
00:14:32,348 --> 00:14:32,618
lock

405
00:14:32,708 --> 00:14:35,708
and, uh, yeah, and, and they
kind of give murdery vibes.

406
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,088
That's, that's not good.

407
00:14:37,238 --> 00:14:37,808
You know what I mean?

408
00:14:38,248 --> 00:14:41,128
So yeah, just filled with red flags.

409
00:14:41,128 --> 00:14:44,278
I think that was a, a great confessional
to have on our show because,

410
00:14:44,338 --> 00:14:46,423
and good call, not, not
playing with them like Yeah.

411
00:14:46,423 --> 00:14:46,858
Good call.

412
00:14:46,858 --> 00:14:52,348
I at least you saw the flags
and you didn't participate.

413
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:52,918
Yeah.

414
00:14:52,918 --> 00:14:53,848
So good for you.

415
00:14:53,848 --> 00:14:53,908
Yeah.

416
00:14:54,148 --> 00:14:56,668
And you know what I've,
I've just realized is.

417
00:14:57,168 --> 00:15:02,688
Being able to say, no,
I'm sorry, but I'm tired.

418
00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:04,003
Yeah, it's

419
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:04,563
really smart.

420
00:15:04,728 --> 00:15:11,418
It's smart because we normally don't,
even if we're tired, if we feel bad or

421
00:15:11,418 --> 00:15:14,838
if they're like really good friends,
oftentimes we'll be like, oh, okay.

422
00:15:14,838 --> 00:15:16,938
You know, even though we're
exhausted, we'll stay at the club

423
00:15:16,938 --> 00:15:18,288
another hour or whatever, you know?

424
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:18,433
Yeah.

425
00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:21,093
Because we're those kinds of people.

426
00:15:21,093 --> 00:15:23,103
But recently we realized, you know what?

427
00:15:23,583 --> 00:15:26,403
It doesn't hurt just to be honest
about it and say, I'm sorry

428
00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:27,723
guys, but we're really exhausted.

429
00:15:27,783 --> 00:15:27,993
Yeah.

430
00:15:28,243 --> 00:15:30,733
You know, and people will understand that.

431
00:15:30,733 --> 00:15:32,833
And if they don't, they're not for you.

432
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:34,113
So that tells you everything.

433
00:15:34,113 --> 00:15:34,413
Alright, bye.

434
00:15:34,593 --> 00:15:34,773
Yeah.

435
00:15:35,403 --> 00:15:36,573
Tells you everything right there.

436
00:15:36,973 --> 00:15:40,693
But lots of lessons to be learned on that

437
00:15:40,693 --> 00:15:40,783
one.

438
00:15:40,783 --> 00:15:42,233
You know, it's you.

439
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,193
You wanna vet who you're
talking to anyway?

440
00:15:45,283 --> 00:15:45,493
Oh, yeah.

441
00:15:45,523 --> 00:15:49,783
Because what if, what if that person,
that kind person put a good, anybody

442
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:55,213
Could have been some, I don't know,
psycho person, like you said, stalker.

443
00:15:55,213 --> 00:15:55,243
I

444
00:15:55,243 --> 00:15:56,443
mean, you really don't know
who you're dealing with.

445
00:15:56,443 --> 00:15:57,043
You don't know.

446
00:15:57,433 --> 00:16:01,018
So, and it's a a and anybody
can get on a website mm-hmm.

447
00:16:01,073 --> 00:16:07,083
And do a profile and, there are a lot
of things that we have to do that.

448
00:16:07,623 --> 00:16:08,583
Keep our own safety.

449
00:16:08,683 --> 00:16:13,213
Uh, because a lot of these websites
provide safety up to a point.

450
00:16:13,703 --> 00:16:17,393
But when you share your location
and things like that, you know, you

451
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:20,903
gotta be, I like we do it, uh, we
do primarily because we're, we're

452
00:16:20,903 --> 00:16:22,763
podcasters and we do a lot of traveling.

453
00:16:22,823 --> 00:16:22,883
Yeah.

454
00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:25,883
And trust me, the thought has crossed
my mind where it's like, well, we're

455
00:16:25,883 --> 00:16:27,713
inviting everybody to your birthday

456
00:16:27,713 --> 00:16:27,983
party.

457
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:28,648
I have.

458
00:16:29,568 --> 00:16:30,128
I know.

459
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:31,643
I know.

460
00:16:31,643 --> 00:16:33,883
I have i'm sure.

461
00:16:34,273 --> 00:16:36,973
I'm sure I have at least one, but

462
00:16:36,973 --> 00:16:38,173
really I don't have any stalkers,

463
00:16:38,173 --> 00:16:38,623
homie.

464
00:16:38,893 --> 00:16:39,733
Don't come at me.

465
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:40,833
I don't have any stockers.

466
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:40,953
Don't.

467
00:16:41,453 --> 00:16:42,078
I'm doing something wrong.

468
00:16:42,238 --> 00:16:42,918
I don't have any stockers.

469
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:43,558
Oh, I'm, oh.

470
00:16:44,138 --> 00:16:44,638
Better at

471
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:46,118
you got stalkers.

472
00:16:47,108 --> 00:16:47,378
Right.

473
00:16:47,618 --> 00:16:49,808
Anyways, a good lesson
to be learned though.

474
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:50,318
Definitely.

475
00:16:50,318 --> 00:16:50,378
Yeah.

476
00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:53,168
Don't play with anybody unless
you've vetted them fully.

477
00:16:53,528 --> 00:16:56,888
And obviously this was a situation
where there was no vetting at all.

478
00:16:57,278 --> 00:17:00,518
Uh, I would've been definitely
very open and honest about

479
00:17:00,518 --> 00:17:03,578
why we are not choosing you.

480
00:17:03,788 --> 00:17:04,088
Yeah.

481
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:07,298
And I would've listed all
of the different red flags

482
00:17:07,798 --> 00:17:08,068
yeah.

483
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:11,378
So you definitely wanna
vet as much as possible.

484
00:17:11,438 --> 00:17:11,528
Mm-hmm.

485
00:17:12,428 --> 00:17:12,728
All right.

486
00:17:12,728 --> 00:17:17,798
Now let's talk about something that hits
a lot closer to home for a lot of couples.

487
00:17:17,858 --> 00:17:17,888
Ooh.

488
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:18,788
Oh yeah.

489
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:19,388
This next one.

490
00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:20,018
It's real.

491
00:17:20,108 --> 00:17:20,408
Yeah.

492
00:17:20,768 --> 00:17:21,338
Let's read it.

493
00:17:22,088 --> 00:17:22,958
So here we go.

494
00:17:23,288 --> 00:17:23,588
Okay.

495
00:17:24,398 --> 00:17:28,328
I have been with my partner for a
few years now, met in the lifestyle

496
00:17:28,838 --> 00:17:30,878
and have had an incredible time.

497
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:34,208
However, as a woman in the lifestyle.

498
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,208
I'm sure Pris knows
what I'm talking about.

499
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,368
I get a lot of attention.

500
00:17:39,818 --> 00:17:44,348
I love the feeling of being wanted
and lusted after who wouldn't.

501
00:17:44,888 --> 00:17:51,278
However, I find that sometimes this
turns my partner on and sometimes

502
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:55,718
he gets really defensive and jealous
of the attention, regardless of

503
00:17:55,718 --> 00:17:57,638
whether it ends in playing or not.

504
00:17:58,138 --> 00:18:01,168
Would love your insight about
the balance between honoring his

505
00:18:01,168 --> 00:18:03,778
feelings and enjoying that attention.

506
00:18:04,278 --> 00:18:06,588
Should I shoot down
anyone who looks my way?

507
00:18:06,738 --> 00:18:09,108
Should I tell him to
get over his feelings?

508
00:18:09,228 --> 00:18:11,418
What would a compromise look like?

509
00:18:11,898 --> 00:18:12,258
Yes.

510
00:18:12,618 --> 00:18:13,728
Get over your feelings.

511
00:18:13,938 --> 00:18:14,448
Just kidding.

512
00:18:14,948 --> 00:18:17,048
Um, I understand where you're coming from.

513
00:18:17,048 --> 00:18:18,593
I, I, I do.

514
00:18:18,643 --> 00:18:19,243
Do you really?

515
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,188
I, well, I know I'm, I know like she said.

516
00:18:21,688 --> 00:18:22,618
The attention.

517
00:18:22,738 --> 00:18:23,098
Yeah.

518
00:18:23,158 --> 00:18:23,368
Yeah.

519
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:23,918
You get a lot of

520
00:18:24,023 --> 00:18:24,583
unwanted,

521
00:18:24,643 --> 00:18:26,463
but, but yours is unwanted attention.

522
00:18:26,533 --> 00:18:26,823
Yeah.

523
00:18:27,143 --> 00:18:28,498
I don't want it.

524
00:18:28,918 --> 00:18:31,693
I, we make fun of each
other because, um, I,

525
00:18:31,738 --> 00:18:32,248
I want it,

526
00:18:32,248 --> 00:18:33,298
he wants attention.

527
00:18:33,298 --> 00:18:33,478
I want

528
00:18:33,653 --> 00:18:33,893
attention.

529
00:18:34,193 --> 00:18:35,188
He, he grew up,

530
00:18:35,488 --> 00:18:36,238
but I don't get it.

531
00:18:36,298 --> 00:18:38,698
He, I was, I was a spoiled child.

532
00:18:38,698 --> 00:18:41,488
I had a lot, I had a lot
of attention growing up.

533
00:18:41,998 --> 00:18:44,228
I wasn't, that, that.

534
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:45,863
I'm not lacking that.

535
00:18:46,103 --> 00:18:47,513
Not to say that you are right.

536
00:18:47,723 --> 00:18:49,823
I'm just saying I am
not lacking that at all.

537
00:18:49,823 --> 00:18:52,753
Like, I don't I don't take
compliments very well.

538
00:18:52,753 --> 00:18:54,583
I don't need you to give me attention.

539
00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:57,583
I don't, if I wanna be the
center of attention, I'll make

540
00:18:57,583 --> 00:18:58,513
myself the center of attention.

541
00:18:58,723 --> 00:18:59,323
So, yeah.

542
00:18:59,623 --> 00:19:01,843
Um, when I want it I'll receive it.

543
00:19:01,888 --> 00:19:02,178
Yeah.

544
00:19:02,678 --> 00:19:08,318
We used to have a issue with not
getting attention in the lifestyle.

545
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:08,588
Yeah.

546
00:19:08,588 --> 00:19:14,948
And you know, it took me a while to
realize that this is a woman centric

547
00:19:15,098 --> 00:19:15,218
mm-hmm.

548
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:16,028
Lifestyle.

549
00:19:16,033 --> 00:19:16,093
Mm-hmm.

550
00:19:16,213 --> 00:19:17,793
I mean, and once you realize that mm-hmm.

551
00:19:17,873 --> 00:19:22,068
Once the guy realizes that,
then it becomes a lot easier

552
00:19:22,068 --> 00:19:23,568
to maneuver because Yeah.

553
00:19:24,318 --> 00:19:29,478
Every guy has that initial feeling of, oh
man, I'm gonna get in here and I'm just

554
00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:31,548
gonna have pussy falling off of trees.

555
00:19:31,608 --> 00:19:31,848
Yeah.

556
00:19:32,158 --> 00:19:35,098
And then all of a sudden they walk
into a room and it's crickets.

557
00:19:35,558 --> 00:19:40,418
Meanwhile, their wife, who sometimes
wants the attention, sometimes doesn't,

558
00:19:40,838 --> 00:19:45,218
walks in and, you know, they, they
don't even have to look their best.

559
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:48,798
And they've got like five guys
tapping them on the shoulder going,

560
00:19:48,798 --> 00:19:50,088
excuse me, can I buy you a drink?

561
00:19:50,748 --> 00:19:51,198
You know what I mean?

562
00:19:51,198 --> 00:19:53,618
So it is, it's a it can
kind of screw with you.

563
00:19:53,738 --> 00:19:54,308
Of course.

564
00:19:54,308 --> 00:19:55,208
I'm sure it can.

565
00:19:55,288 --> 00:20:01,378
I mean, I think his feelings of
inadequacy or jealousy is normal.

566
00:20:01,378 --> 00:20:01,438
Yeah.

567
00:20:01,948 --> 00:20:07,168
You just have to, I think as, I
think you just have to take care

568
00:20:07,168 --> 00:20:08,638
of your partner in certain ways.

569
00:20:08,638 --> 00:20:08,968
So

570
00:20:08,968 --> 00:20:09,898
it's a lot of reassurance.

571
00:20:09,898 --> 00:20:14,758
A lot of reassurance on your part that
it's just something that you like.

572
00:20:15,158 --> 00:20:16,058
It doesn't mean that.

573
00:20:16,558 --> 00:20:20,878
You're not liking how he's
feeling, but that you know

574
00:20:20,878 --> 00:20:22,498
that you like that attention.

575
00:20:22,498 --> 00:20:24,988
And it is, it is a woman.

576
00:20:25,438 --> 00:20:26,668
It's a woman's world.

577
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:28,018
And the lifestyle.

578
00:20:28,168 --> 00:20:28,498
Yeah.

579
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:31,508
I mean, you guys have your,
your way as much as you want.

580
00:20:31,508 --> 00:20:31,568
Yeah.

581
00:20:32,438 --> 00:20:33,938
I think that,

582
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,038
but you don't want her
to like, to minimize

583
00:20:36,038 --> 00:20:36,128
that.

584
00:20:36,383 --> 00:20:36,848
No, no.

585
00:20:36,848 --> 00:20:39,368
And, and so I mean, like, but
also her feelings are valid too.

586
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:40,103
And so this is really.

587
00:20:40,913 --> 00:20:42,593
I wouldn't call it a compromise.

588
00:20:42,593 --> 00:20:46,583
More so as it's just a really, really
it's something that, that both of

589
00:20:46,583 --> 00:20:48,263
y'all have to come to an understanding.

590
00:20:48,293 --> 00:20:48,383
Mm-hmm.

591
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:55,353
So you have to really play more of a role
to him in reassurance, uh, so that he can

592
00:20:55,353 --> 00:20:59,103
feel better about y'all's relationship.

593
00:20:59,103 --> 00:21:04,053
That the more he feels stronger
about y'all's relationship, the less

594
00:21:04,053 --> 00:21:07,293
he's going to feel that jealousy.

595
00:21:07,368 --> 00:21:10,428
I mean, the jealousy will always be
there most likely, but it's always,

596
00:21:10,428 --> 00:21:11,028
yeah.

597
00:21:11,028 --> 00:21:14,108
Uh, but you know, it takes away,
there's a security there Yeah.

598
00:21:14,198 --> 00:21:17,678
That you feel, and it's like, okay,
well this is, this is not bad.

599
00:21:18,338 --> 00:21:22,238
The other thing would be that he,
where he needs to work on is he needs

600
00:21:22,238 --> 00:21:28,318
to, is that all of the men in this
lifestyle are dealing with that.

601
00:21:28,438 --> 00:21:29,368
This is normal.

602
00:21:29,878 --> 00:21:31,438
This is absolutely normal.

603
00:21:31,938 --> 00:21:36,348
Now it's not just the men that are
dealing with that in our situation,

604
00:21:36,438 --> 00:21:38,898
it could be considered opposite.

605
00:21:38,953 --> 00:21:39,373
Mm-hmm.

606
00:21:39,558 --> 00:21:41,928
If you talk to Paris, it's opposite.

607
00:21:42,438 --> 00:21:45,348
If you talk to her, she's saying,
oh, well he's, he's getting all

608
00:21:45,348 --> 00:21:48,738
the attention and I don't really
care for it, yada, yada, yada.

609
00:21:49,268 --> 00:21:49,988
And so.

610
00:21:50,488 --> 00:21:53,053
Where I pick it up is, I, I reassure her.

611
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:53,563
Yeah.

612
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:55,843
I constantly am reassuring her.

613
00:21:56,223 --> 00:21:57,933
I'm texting her throughout the day.

614
00:21:58,363 --> 00:22:00,253
You know, I'm telling her how I miss her.

615
00:22:00,253 --> 00:22:04,183
I'm telling her how I love her, and
it's not bullshit, it's not lines,

616
00:22:04,543 --> 00:22:06,463
it's just me talking to my wife.

617
00:22:06,463 --> 00:22:09,823
It's it should be a natural
part of, of a, a couple's

618
00:22:09,893 --> 00:22:10,373
Day.

619
00:22:10,378 --> 00:22:11,628
It just to reassure 'em.

620
00:22:11,628 --> 00:22:13,663
And if it's not, and if it's not, make it.

621
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:15,868
This is your, this is your homework.

622
00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:23,533
Make it a priority to just show
a little bit more affection a

623
00:22:23,533 --> 00:22:26,323
little bit more understanding.

624
00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:32,103
Not that you're not, but just,
just give it more and, reassure

625
00:22:32,103 --> 00:22:36,063
him like, like Autumn said, like
it's just a little bit of, um, you

626
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:38,703
know, you are hot, you're sexy.

627
00:22:38,708 --> 00:22:38,868
Yeah.

628
00:22:39,068 --> 00:22:40,748
I mean, you know, I, you guys.

629
00:22:41,748 --> 00:22:43,458
Most likely are already thinking it.

630
00:22:43,458 --> 00:22:44,568
You're just not saying it out loud.

631
00:22:44,598 --> 00:22:45,168
Yeah.

632
00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:48,198
Uh, and maybe you are, you know,
and, and really if there's anything

633
00:22:48,198 --> 00:22:51,318
to take away from this is that
we don't actually know what your

634
00:22:51,318 --> 00:22:53,148
situation is behind closed doors.

635
00:22:53,148 --> 00:22:54,198
So we're saying all this stuff.

636
00:22:54,198 --> 00:22:55,818
You could probably be
doing all this stuff,

637
00:22:56,088 --> 00:22:56,358
lay

638
00:22:56,358 --> 00:22:56,568
on

639
00:22:56,568 --> 00:22:56,578
thick

640
00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:57,678
lay if you're doing it.

641
00:22:57,678 --> 00:22:58,788
Lay on thick, on thicker.

642
00:22:58,788 --> 00:22:58,813
If you,

643
00:22:59,388 --> 00:23:00,438
if you're not doing it

644
00:23:00,468 --> 00:23:00,708
over,

645
00:23:00,708 --> 00:23:01,188
do it.

646
00:23:01,188 --> 00:23:01,458
Yeah.

647
00:23:01,458 --> 00:23:02,208
Overkill.

648
00:23:02,268 --> 00:23:02,538
Yeah.

649
00:23:02,538 --> 00:23:03,498
It doesn't, it doesn't hurt.

650
00:23:03,498 --> 00:23:04,398
Just overdo it.

651
00:23:04,548 --> 00:23:06,168
But, you know, they, he
doesn't need to know.

652
00:23:06,168 --> 00:23:09,228
It is a, it is a woman's
world and the lifestyle.

653
00:23:09,228 --> 00:23:09,678
Um.

654
00:23:09,948 --> 00:23:14,568
There are men's support groups, as
silly as it may sound to some men.

655
00:23:14,718 --> 00:23:14,838
Yeah.

656
00:23:15,078 --> 00:23:18,348
There are men's support
groups for the lifestyle.

657
00:23:18,848 --> 00:23:23,678
Other men can talk about these
things and you can find out

658
00:23:24,338 --> 00:23:25,638
that you are not the only one.

659
00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:29,468
Like I said, I, I'm not a
jealous person, but I've dealt

660
00:23:29,468 --> 00:23:30,758
with this a little bit myself.

661
00:23:30,878 --> 00:23:31,208
You know?

662
00:23:31,208 --> 00:23:34,478
I know I was pretty sour for
the first couple of years.

663
00:23:34,628 --> 00:23:34,748
Mm-hmm.

664
00:23:35,018 --> 00:23:36,158
Because I was like, what the hell?

665
00:23:36,213 --> 00:23:37,023
Everybody wants her.

666
00:23:37,113 --> 00:23:37,833
Nobody wants me.

667
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:38,973
Why the hell would I do this?

668
00:23:38,973 --> 00:23:39,813
It was hard.

669
00:23:39,813 --> 00:23:40,918
It was rough, really hard.

670
00:23:40,978 --> 00:23:41,478
Um, it

671
00:23:41,478 --> 00:23:41,733
was rough.

672
00:23:41,733 --> 00:23:44,158
It's bad on the ego, it's
bad on, you know, and

673
00:23:44,158 --> 00:23:44,758
everything.

674
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:48,783
And as his wife, it makes me feel
bad because I'm like, he's amazing.

675
00:23:48,783 --> 00:23:50,463
How could you, how
could people not see it?

676
00:23:50,463 --> 00:23:50,853
You know?

677
00:23:51,393 --> 00:23:54,123
And not that y'all are
unattractive or anything like

678
00:23:54,153 --> 00:23:56,933
that, but women are also shallow.

679
00:23:57,433 --> 00:23:57,733
Yeah.

680
00:23:58,603 --> 00:23:59,773
I mean, we're shallow like.

681
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:05,473
It's it just takes a lot of little
bandaids, a lot of little caressing,

682
00:24:06,073 --> 00:24:07,333
and it's gonna be give and take it.

683
00:24:07,333 --> 00:24:09,463
And it won't be perfect
on its first go around.

684
00:24:09,523 --> 00:24:09,823
Yeah.

685
00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:12,103
This is something that
take it, it takes time.

686
00:24:12,163 --> 00:24:12,493
Takes, it does.

687
00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:15,403
So where we're at in our
relationship has taken time.

688
00:24:15,493 --> 00:24:15,853
Yeah.

689
00:24:15,943 --> 00:24:18,643
You know, nothing was
ever perfect overnight.

690
00:24:18,643 --> 00:24:21,223
We had to really, it was give and take.

691
00:24:21,223 --> 00:24:24,923
There were times where we got into small
little arguments about stupid stuff.

692
00:24:24,923 --> 00:24:25,068
Yeah.

693
00:24:25,243 --> 00:24:28,043
And then we had to talk it
out and, and worked it out.

694
00:24:28,793 --> 00:24:29,483
You know, it just.

695
00:24:30,308 --> 00:24:33,068
If it doesn't work right away,
just know that you're not failing.

696
00:24:33,518 --> 00:24:33,993
There you go.

697
00:24:34,218 --> 00:24:35,868
There's, there's more to it than that.

698
00:24:35,898 --> 00:24:38,898
If you're even trying,
then you're successful.

699
00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,693
It just, it takes time for
things like that to stick.

700
00:24:41,693 --> 00:24:41,703
It

701
00:24:42,078 --> 00:24:42,288
does,

702
00:24:42,708 --> 00:24:47,328
you know, we, we all were kind of
raised to be jealous creatures.

703
00:24:47,788 --> 00:24:52,318
It's kind of how life is
when you grow up in cities.

704
00:24:52,558 --> 00:24:52,618
Yeah.

705
00:24:53,038 --> 00:24:53,638
With people.

706
00:24:54,358 --> 00:24:56,188
Everybody's jealous about everybody.

707
00:24:56,458 --> 00:25:01,418
And I wanna say what something
really will help is like a little

708
00:25:01,418 --> 00:25:06,188
exercise, is before going into an
event, before doing something, he

709
00:25:06,188 --> 00:25:08,948
loves to watch people hit on me.

710
00:25:09,338 --> 00:25:09,938
Loves it.

711
00:25:09,938 --> 00:25:10,298
I'm a fan.

712
00:25:10,328 --> 00:25:11,978
I don't know if he loves it
because he doesn't know what

713
00:25:11,978 --> 00:25:12,968
reaction I'm gonna give them.

714
00:25:13,748 --> 00:25:15,128
That too is entertaining.

715
00:25:15,628 --> 00:25:16,198
But Yeah.

716
00:25:16,293 --> 00:25:17,638
Or, or what it is.

717
00:25:17,638 --> 00:25:19,468
But maybe talk about it.

718
00:25:19,498 --> 00:25:23,578
Maybe talk about before going, Hey, we're
gonna go to the club this weekend, or

719
00:25:23,578 --> 00:25:25,018
we're gonna go go to the club tonight.

720
00:25:25,098 --> 00:25:26,238
I'm gonna wear this outfit.

721
00:25:26,628 --> 00:25:28,908
I might get a little
bit more of attention.

722
00:25:29,478 --> 00:25:30,768
How would you like me to handle that?

723
00:25:30,768 --> 00:25:32,928
Do you want me to stay
on your arm for a while?

724
00:25:32,928 --> 00:25:35,448
Do you wanna be the one
to kind of push me along?

725
00:25:35,838 --> 00:25:36,078
Yeah.

726
00:25:36,128 --> 00:25:38,213
What steps will help you?

727
00:25:38,713 --> 00:25:41,323
Be more successful
tonight in your feelings.

728
00:25:41,413 --> 00:25:41,653
Like

729
00:25:41,893 --> 00:25:45,223
we, we have really actually
had those conversations.

730
00:25:45,223 --> 00:25:45,283
Yeah.

731
00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:48,633
Before we got into a house
party or a club or whatever.

732
00:25:49,133 --> 00:25:51,623
So you like watching me get hit on I

733
00:25:51,623 --> 00:25:53,303
do not like I do, but
I know that you don't.

734
00:25:53,303 --> 00:25:58,193
And, and like a good, a good example
of this too is, you know, Priscilla's

735
00:25:58,193 --> 00:26:01,853
birthday party is coming up and
I just asked her yesterday, I was

736
00:26:01,853 --> 00:26:04,233
like, look, uh, it's your birthday.

737
00:26:04,773 --> 00:26:07,753
And you know, we're gonna
be at a lifestyle club.

738
00:26:07,753 --> 00:26:12,433
We're gonna be around a lot of
people, of which I would enjoy having

739
00:26:12,433 --> 00:26:14,563
sex with, but it's not my party.

740
00:26:14,593 --> 00:26:15,703
It's not my birthday.

741
00:26:16,363 --> 00:26:17,833
So I wanna know.

742
00:26:18,333 --> 00:26:22,263
Should this be a night where I purely
focus on you and I'm by your side

743
00:26:22,263 --> 00:26:25,473
and, and I don't have any fun, I'm
just there to take care of you or,

744
00:26:25,503 --> 00:26:26,953
or, partake in whatever you want.

745
00:26:27,283 --> 00:26:31,663
Or can I also have, you know, my own
little things on the side as they come up?

746
00:26:31,693 --> 00:26:35,713
If they come up, they may not, but if they
do, you know, would that be all right?

747
00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:39,223
And there was a time where I
wouldn't have even asked that.

748
00:26:39,583 --> 00:26:39,823
Yeah.

749
00:26:39,853 --> 00:26:43,303
Uh, because I would've just
assumed it's a, it's all good.

750
00:26:44,083 --> 00:26:46,693
But sometimes we are.

751
00:26:47,193 --> 00:26:49,023
Expectations of what we want to do.

752
00:26:49,293 --> 00:26:54,003
Uh, and we don't fully think of our
partner in those kinds of situations.

753
00:26:54,033 --> 00:26:54,093
Yeah.

754
00:26:54,093 --> 00:26:58,383
And frankly, if I thought about
myself on the night of her birthday,

755
00:26:58,953 --> 00:27:02,433
uh, I could see that unraveling
and not the greatest of ways.

756
00:27:02,703 --> 00:27:04,863
And so I was likes the
conversation we're having.

757
00:27:05,403 --> 00:27:05,673
Yeah.

758
00:27:05,673 --> 00:27:07,083
It is a conversation
worth having because Yeah.

759
00:27:07,503 --> 00:27:10,953
She is not a fan of, of me getting
hit on all the time, stuff like that.

760
00:27:10,953 --> 00:27:11,883
And so it's like, well.

761
00:27:12,383 --> 00:27:15,533
And if it happens, is it something
I can act on or is it something that

762
00:27:15,533 --> 00:27:18,353
I'm gonna have to tell 'em, Hey, sorry
guys, but let's aim for another day

763
00:27:18,473 --> 00:27:18,593
or this.

764
00:27:18,593 --> 00:27:18,743
Yeah.

765
00:27:19,293 --> 00:27:21,093
So we got that conversation
out and you know what?

766
00:27:21,093 --> 00:27:24,103
It was painless and it worked out great.

767
00:27:24,153 --> 00:27:28,333
We now know, and, and those
expectations are set going into that.

768
00:27:28,333 --> 00:27:28,598
Mm-hmm.

769
00:27:29,098 --> 00:27:32,068
It's a matter of having those
conversations, just having

770
00:27:32,068 --> 00:27:33,483
those little conversations,
especially if you already know

771
00:27:33,483 --> 00:27:35,193
that he's already feeling that way.

772
00:27:36,018 --> 00:27:40,248
Sometimes, um, then yeah, I would
be, I would definitely have those

773
00:27:40,248 --> 00:27:43,518
conversations a little bit more
often, especially before any events.

774
00:27:43,818 --> 00:27:47,928
I try to set expectations with
you whenever we go places.

775
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:50,688
You know, like early on I used
to tell you, yes, look, we're

776
00:27:50,688 --> 00:27:52,733
gonna, we're gonna go so, so is

777
00:27:52,848 --> 00:27:53,658
gonna be there,

778
00:27:53,748 --> 00:27:56,688
so and so-and-so's gonna be there
and they're probably gonna be on me.

779
00:27:56,688 --> 00:28:01,618
Or there may be some women who are
gonna be very, flirty with me in person.

780
00:28:02,278 --> 00:28:03,028
How are you go?

781
00:28:03,028 --> 00:28:04,228
I know you don't care for that.

782
00:28:04,238 --> 00:28:05,798
How would you handle it?

783
00:28:05,798 --> 00:28:09,728
How are you gonna like start getting
this in your head now because the

784
00:28:09,728 --> 00:28:14,208
more you are prepared for it, the less
it feels like, an aggressive shock.

785
00:28:14,298 --> 00:28:14,388
Mm-hmm.

786
00:28:14,628 --> 00:28:17,268
When it happens in front of you,
you're kind of expecting it.

787
00:28:17,388 --> 00:28:17,658
Yeah.

788
00:28:17,818 --> 00:28:21,658
And then, you know, like Pris, I told her,
Hey, just roll your eyes and walk away.

789
00:28:21,718 --> 00:28:22,233
That's all you gotta do.

790
00:28:22,573 --> 00:28:23,803
That's kind of her thing.

791
00:28:23,803 --> 00:28:24,043
Now

792
00:28:24,103 --> 00:28:24,973
it is my thing.

793
00:28:25,753 --> 00:28:26,833
Let's just close your eyes.

794
00:28:26,833 --> 00:28:27,193
And, but

795
00:28:27,193 --> 00:28:30,343
I also have lots of friends around, so
I'm like, if you see so and so with so and

796
00:28:30,343 --> 00:28:32,863
so, and you know, just go and grab them.

797
00:28:33,403 --> 00:28:35,023
You go squish and make out with them.

798
00:28:35,773 --> 00:28:36,493
Oh my goodness.

799
00:28:36,613 --> 00:28:39,853
You know what's funny
is that is totally true.

800
00:28:39,883 --> 00:28:40,543
It is.

801
00:28:40,573 --> 00:28:40,873
Yeah.

802
00:28:41,023 --> 00:28:41,473
It's,

803
00:28:41,533 --> 00:28:42,133
that's horrible.

804
00:28:42,133 --> 00:28:42,403
I mean,

805
00:28:42,408 --> 00:28:42,608
but

806
00:28:42,798 --> 00:28:43,088
it's

807
00:28:43,088 --> 00:28:43,208
okay.

808
00:28:43,488 --> 00:28:43,648
I mean,

809
00:28:43,988 --> 00:28:45,223
but I think you're, you're doing great.

810
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:47,623
At least you know, y'all at least know.

811
00:28:48,123 --> 00:28:52,143
He's feeling that way, and I'm
glad that you love the attention.

812
00:28:52,143 --> 00:28:52,743
That's great.

813
00:28:52,743 --> 00:28:52,803
Yeah.

814
00:28:52,803 --> 00:28:53,643
That's wonderful.

815
00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:56,613
And just talk to him about it, you
know, it's something that you, like.

816
00:28:57,303 --> 00:28:59,223
If it was the other way around,
would you be supportive?

817
00:28:59,223 --> 00:28:59,433
Like,

818
00:28:59,533 --> 00:28:59,983
yeah.

819
00:29:00,313 --> 00:29:00,553
Yeah.

820
00:29:00,613 --> 00:29:00,763
Talk.

821
00:29:01,093 --> 00:29:05,173
Definitely try and treat him the
way you would want him to treat you.

822
00:29:05,293 --> 00:29:05,503
Yes.

823
00:29:05,563 --> 00:29:05,893
You know?

824
00:29:05,893 --> 00:29:11,113
So if that, if you can sit back and go,
okay, well I'm him in this situation,

825
00:29:11,503 --> 00:29:13,513
how do I want him to handle this for me?

826
00:29:13,513 --> 00:29:13,573
Yeah.

827
00:29:13,993 --> 00:29:14,653
You know what I mean?

828
00:29:14,953 --> 00:29:16,993
And then work it from there.

829
00:29:17,203 --> 00:29:18,103
I think that would work.

830
00:29:18,583 --> 00:29:21,163
You know, I gotta tell you,
we love these confessionals.

831
00:29:21,238 --> 00:29:21,518
I know,

832
00:29:21,673 --> 00:29:21,973
I do.

833
00:29:21,973 --> 00:29:23,023
Uh, they're so real.

834
00:29:23,523 --> 00:29:29,883
If you've got one, head to www
on monogamy.com and submit it.

835
00:29:29,883 --> 00:29:33,813
It is 100% anonymous unless you're
like some of these people who

836
00:29:33,813 --> 00:29:37,053
like to message me and let me
know, Hey, I left a confessional.

837
00:29:37,803 --> 00:29:40,083
It's supposed to be anonymous
guys, but it's all good.

838
00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:40,563
They love that.

839
00:29:40,563 --> 00:29:42,723
I, I love you guys for, for doing this.

840
00:29:42,723 --> 00:29:44,043
Anyways, it's, it's a lot of fun.

841
00:29:44,073 --> 00:29:47,913
Yeah, and while you're on that
website, you can check out all of

842
00:29:47,913 --> 00:29:51,388
our episodes of video clips, the
blogs, and of course the merch.

843
00:29:52,338 --> 00:29:54,918
And yeah, the confessional tab.

844
00:29:55,418 --> 00:29:58,928
And don't forget to check out our
events tab on that same website.

845
00:29:59,498 --> 00:30:00,638
March 14th.

846
00:30:01,138 --> 00:30:01,918
March 14th.

847
00:30:01,918 --> 00:30:02,698
What are we doing that day?

848
00:30:03,068 --> 00:30:05,978
First of all, it's March,
so it's my birthday month.

849
00:30:06,478 --> 00:30:06,868
That's right.

850
00:30:07,018 --> 00:30:07,723
There's balloons falling.

851
00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:08,443
Y'all just don't see'em.

852
00:30:08,943 --> 00:30:10,293
Uh, March 14th is my birthday.

853
00:30:10,443 --> 00:30:10,983
That's right.

854
00:30:10,983 --> 00:30:12,093
We celebr We are celebrating,
which, celebrating

855
00:30:12,093 --> 00:30:12,513
my birthday.

856
00:30:12,603 --> 00:30:13,443
My birthday's the 15th.

857
00:30:13,683 --> 00:30:14,133
That's right.

858
00:30:14,138 --> 00:30:17,883
We're celebrating Priscilla's
birthday on March 14th.

859
00:30:17,883 --> 00:30:20,283
That's a Saturday at
Club Eden in San Antonio.

860
00:30:20,613 --> 00:30:24,033
The event is open to the public,
but you do need to purchase a

861
00:30:24,033 --> 00:30:25,713
Club Eden membership to attend.

862
00:30:25,713 --> 00:30:27,153
So remember that It's not free.

863
00:30:27,693 --> 00:30:28,983
Yes, it's not free.

864
00:30:29,283 --> 00:30:29,583
Yeah.

865
00:30:29,583 --> 00:30:30,783
So grab your membership.

866
00:30:31,353 --> 00:30:34,683
Get your tickets ahead of time
through Club Eden's website.

867
00:30:34,683 --> 00:30:37,293
You can get all that
information on our events tab.

868
00:30:38,223 --> 00:30:38,583
Yes.

869
00:30:38,643 --> 00:30:44,493
And Swinger 1 0 1 is happening at
Forbidden Fruit in Austin on Sunday,

870
00:30:44,493 --> 00:30:46,383
March 29th from six to eight.

871
00:30:46,563 --> 00:30:48,393
So guys, y'all can sign up for that.

872
00:30:48,543 --> 00:30:50,793
All the details are where Babe.

873
00:30:51,293 --> 00:30:54,923
Forbidden fruit.com/workshops.

874
00:30:54,983 --> 00:30:55,343
There you go.

875
00:30:55,343 --> 00:30:58,223
'cause this is the Swingers
1 0 1 workshop we're taking.

876
00:30:58,493 --> 00:30:59,183
I love it.

877
00:30:59,333 --> 00:31:04,133
And so it, it is an in-person only
event, so you either gonna travel

878
00:31:04,133 --> 00:31:07,613
to be with us or if you live in the
area, come out and scope us out.

879
00:31:07,643 --> 00:31:10,403
'cause uh, we can have some
really great conversations.

880
00:31:10,403 --> 00:31:10,583
Yes.

881
00:31:10,583 --> 00:31:10,793
And.

882
00:31:11,388 --> 00:31:11,538
Yeah.

883
00:31:11,538 --> 00:31:12,108
It could last.

884
00:31:12,138 --> 00:31:12,348
Yeah.

885
00:31:12,618 --> 00:31:17,838
Uh, also you can catch us on full
swap radio.com every Thursday at

886
00:31:17,838 --> 00:31:20,478
2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central Time.

887
00:31:21,258 --> 00:31:24,378
And folks, with that, we
thank you for listening and we

888
00:31:24,378 --> 00:31:26,148
will see you guys next week.

889
00:31:26,148 --> 00:31:27,108
Bye.