Unfiltered but Not Unkind: Hard Truths About Swinger Etiquette & Communication
Unfiltered but Not Unkind is the episode where we finally said the quiet parts out loud.
You know those moments when you leave a party, get in the car, take a sip of your drink, and say, “Okay… I don’t want to sound judgy, but WHAT was that?” Yeah. Those moments.
This episode came from years of conversations that started with “best friend ears only” and ended with everyone nodding aggressively saying, “I KNOW, RIGHT?”
One of my favorite lines from this episode was when Pris said:
“Confidence is sexy… until it turns into a lack of self-awareness.”
That sentence alone could’ve carried the whole show.
We talked about the hypersexual energy that shows up way too early. The kind that skips hello and jumps straight to spicy photos like it’s a speedrun. Spoiler alert: that energy shuts doors. Fast.
Pris nailed it when she said respect is her biggest turn-on. Not abs. Not bravado. Not nonstop flirting. Respect.
“If you ask before sending a photo? Huge difference.”
We also talked about something that doesn’t get enough attention—oversharing explicit details in spaces that didn’t consent to that energy. Just because we’re in the lifestyle doesn’t mean we signed up for your highlight reel.
Another big one? Jealousy.
Somehow jealousy got labeled as toxic, ugly, or a personal failure. That’s lazy thinking. Jealousy is information. It’s a signal. It’s something to explore—not shame.
“I still get jealous of the dumbest things… and I know they’re dumb. But they’re mine.”
And then there’s communication. Everyone’s favorite advice:
“Just communicate more.”
Cool. HOW?
Yelling isn’t communicating. Avoiding isn’t communicating. Waiting until you’re furious definitely isn’t communicating. Real communication happens when you’re calm, honest, and willing to be uncomfortable.
One of the realest moments in the episode was talking about how close we came to losing our marriage—and how stopping polyamory forced us to actually see each other again. That reset changed everything.
This episode isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being better.
You can love the lifestyle and still want it to grow up a little. You can be honest without being cruel. And you can call things out without burning the whole house down.
If this episode made you uncomfortable… good. Growth usually starts there.
Want to keep the conversation going? Head over to Beyond-Monogamy.com for episodes, blogs, merch, events, and our 100% anonymous Confessional.
Co-host
Adam is the bald, bearded, caffeine-fueled voice behind Beyond Monogamy — a guy who never expected to become a spokesperson for ethical non-monogamy… but here we are. After more than a decade navigating the lifestyle with his wife and co-host Pris, he’s learned a ton about communication, boundaries, jealousy (yep, he has it too), and what it really takes to build a relationship that feels like home and adventure at the same time.
Whether he’s diving into deep relationship conversations, calling out the myths the lifestyle loves to cling to, or just hyping up couples to choose their joy unapologetically, Adam brings honesty, humor, and tattoo-level commitment to every episode. If you’ve ever thought, “Is it just us?”, he’s the guy handing you a coffee and saying, “Nah — welcome to the club.”
Beyond Monogamy is his way of making sure nobody has to explore this world alone. Because love gets bigger when community gets louder.
📍 Based in Texas
☕ Early-morning gym rat
🎙 Podcast host, connection-builder, lifestyle storyteller
💭 Motto: “We don’t break rules — we make better ones.”
One-Sided Rules in the Swinger Lifestyle: Insecurity, Control & Communication
