Unfair Swinger Rules: The Boundaries That Break Couples

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Alright y'all, before we
dive in, a quick heads up.

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This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated pg.

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We're talking about adult themes, sexual
content, and the kind of stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kits.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not
licensed therapists, counselors, or sex.

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Couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches,

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not sex couches

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or just a couple of people sharing our
lives, experiences and sexy adventures.

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An ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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And.

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Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today on our Wednesday quickie,
we're gonna be talking about

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rules, the ones that sound fair
until you're actually living them.

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That's right.

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These are the rules that look real
cute when you first say them out loud.

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Yeah.

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And then there's, three weeks later
you're like, Hmm, why am I irritated?

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Now, before we jump in, if you
like these honest conversations,

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make sure you follow the show.

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Follow, follow.

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Share it with someone who might need
it, and leave us a review because

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that really helps us, uh, you know,
other people can find us through that.

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Uh, and it just helps us
grow in the community.

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Yeah.

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'cause you know, sharing.

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Karen,

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oh man.

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You know, you know, sometimes, you

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know what I mean?

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Sometimes,

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sometimes you say the right
thing at the right time.

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Thanks, Peter.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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So with that being said,
let's get into this.

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All

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right.

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Uh, so the first being

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Yeah,

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no feelings.

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So I know a lot of couples.

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Yeah.

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And I've actually, I think we've
talked to a lot of couples about this.

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Uh, you know, their, one
of their top rules is.

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You cannot catch feelings for

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anything.

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Um, I think we had that

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yeah.

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For

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very long time in a different kind of way.

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But we did I'm gonna say
the rule still applies now.

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This is one of those, let me
explain to you what I mean by that.

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There are rules that I keep to
myself, like I, I have a role of.

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Really silly.

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This man better not be Harding
every single post that someone puts.

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Come on now.

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Those are my little rules.

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Does, is he gonna do that?

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Am I gonna go and verbally tell him that?

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No, he doesn't know that rule.

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And if he did, he'd probably be
like, bitch, shut the fuck up.

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And I think I had rules like that.

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So anyway, I have the one
of my rules is no feelings.

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Now, is that even a possibility?

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No.

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No, because feelings are normal.

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Like

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Yeah,

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you can extra like somebody.

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And we've actually had this conversation.

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I was, I remember like, can you
ever fall in love with somebody?

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And his honest answer was yes.

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Yeah,

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but you would never know it.

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No.

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He would never tell me that.

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I would not tell you.

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And I had to say, wow.

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Like, I remember getting
upset and being like, why?

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That's, that's holding back, that's
not being transparent with me.

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But he said, if I told you that it would
hurt you and I don't wanna hurt you.

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It's a feeling that I'm gonna have
probably, and it's gonna go away.

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And I was like, oh.

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All right.

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That's honest.

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But yeah, no one cannot not cause,
I mean, I can not catch feelings.

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Yeah, you're well, you're
pretty well closed off and

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to relationships, romantic
relationships and stuff.

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But I'm not, my feelings still, if I
have a friend that I really, really like,

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yeah, those feelings still get hurt.

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Oh yeah.

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And I still have feelings, like Really?

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Yeah.

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Isn't that

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ing?

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Yeah.

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Like, I love

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my friend, but you don't wanna do that.

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So you're good with that
connection on a friendship.

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Mm-hmm.

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Tip.

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But not on a romantic.

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No.

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I can only love Ro love, love someone.

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Only one person.

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I can't love more than one person.

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That makes sense.

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Yeah,

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that makes sense.

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Yeah.

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You know, I mean, I don't
have a problem with that.

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Now.

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My, my big thing was when we talked about
it is that obviously you can't control

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feelings.

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Yeah.

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No.

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If you're gonna tell your spouse or
if you're gonna tell yourself I'm

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not gonna have feelings for anybody.

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Yeah.

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Then you're gonna be sorely
stressed out when it happens.

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Yeah.

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Because it happens.

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It's a normal reaction.

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Mm-hmm.

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We're all human.

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And it really doesn't matter what you have
going on at home if you're non-monogamous.

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And that's just kind of how
you feel it's gonna happen.

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Yeah.

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And if you bury it deep down inside
and you go, well, I'm, I'm not even

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gonna pretend like this is a thing.

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Yeah.

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Then it can cause resentment.

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Yeah, it can cause health issues,
like actual health issues.

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It can,

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uh, which is just not good.

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I'm pretty sure I have an
ulcer here and it's named Adam.

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Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure
you have another ulcer there

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and it's also named Adam.

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Yes.

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But you know, obviously I, I've
told you if it happens, it happens

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and if, if, if it does happen.

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Now where we're at.

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If I feel the need to tell
you, I'm gonna tell you.

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Yeah.

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And I know it.

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You're not gonna like
it, but it's what it's,

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and we're moving

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and

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yeah.

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Stop it.

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You know, you, you're so, you're so big.

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Talk about that.

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But you know damn well if it happened and
I had a very serious conversation with

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you.

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Of course.

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Yeah.

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I would.

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I would be upset with you.

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Yeah.

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You'd be upset.

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Yeah.

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But you would have to sit back and
go, okay, well let's figure this out.

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I don't know

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really.

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What Are you gonna leave me?

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No.

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I would be like, okay, so.

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Stop the feelings.

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Yeah.

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No, it doesn't work

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that way.

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What, what do we do?

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You

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don't just stop feeling

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what do we do?

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What do we do?

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Because we're not, we
have to stop the feelings.

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You don't, you don't stop the feelings.

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Well, I'm still growing
and right now I would

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tell you, obviously if I'm talking
to you about it, there's a reason

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why I'm talking to you about

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it.

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Well, of course.

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But I would be like, okay,
so let's stop the feelings.

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What are we doing?

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That's not the, I understand that is not
a good, that, that is not good at all.

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No.

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That is not a good, uh, way to, right.

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If you're asking me right now without any
kind of like, thought through it, yeah.

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I'd be like, it's what are we doing?

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Yeah.

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But stop feelings and telling your
spouse to stop feelings is obviously

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not the right the right move.

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That's not, yeah.

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That's not a good idea.

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What's

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a good idea?

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It's gonna cause resentment.

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What's a good answer?

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A good answer is, well,
let's talk about it.

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Let's figure this out, but
not well, whatever you gotta

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do to stop your feelings.

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No, that's what I said is, I mean,

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that's not what I said.

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How do we stop the feelings?

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I said, okay, so how do
we stop the feelings?

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No.

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Yeah.

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Like you rephrase

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it right there.

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D different, you can rewind this.

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This is, that's a different,
that's a different tone.

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I don't think

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so.

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I mean, I know it's not,

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it's a different tone.

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I know it's not, logic.

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That's not you.

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Can't I get that?

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Yeah.

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But that would be my reaction if right now
you said, I have feelings for somebody.

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I'd be like, okay, um, let's figure
out how you're not gonna have

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feelings for those, that person.

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Yeah.

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Like let's, let's figure this out.

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I guess

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so, yeah.

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I mean that would be my answer.

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Now, is it thought through?

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No, it's not.

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But that's my answer.

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That's fair.

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Yeah,

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that's fair.

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So.

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Not a great answer.

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No.

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Yeah, I, I totally agree.

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It's not a great answer, but yeah.

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It's my honest answer.

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That's true.

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That's true.

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I'd be like, okay, what do we do?

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Yeah.

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Well, you know, I mean.

252
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Everybody has feelings and it depends
on what the situation is, but sometimes

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people catch feelings and to have that,
I, my, I guess my main point of it is

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if you have that as a rule, you could
be setting yourself up for failure.

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Yes.

256
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Yeah.

257
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I have a lot of those where
I set myself up for failure.

258
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Really?

259
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I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure.

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Well, uh, let's see here.

261
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We got another one here.

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You, you wanna read

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that one?

264
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Ooh.

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Approval before anything happens.

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Mm-hmm.

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Ah, I think, do we have that one?

268
00:08:01,296 --> 00:08:02,016
We do.

269
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,456
Um, and not approval.

270
00:08:03,456 --> 00:08:04,686
It's not approval.

271
00:08:05,256 --> 00:08:08,976
It's it's more of, it's not approval.

272
00:08:09,966 --> 00:08:10,806
What would you call it?

273
00:08:11,766 --> 00:08:12,126
Um,

274
00:08:12,156 --> 00:08:12,936
I wanna know,

275
00:08:13,206 --> 00:08:14,226
you want to be included,

276
00:08:14,256 --> 00:08:15,276
I wanna be included.

277
00:08:16,086 --> 00:08:17,861
Inclusivity at, at least
by being told you wanna

278
00:08:17,861 --> 00:08:18,421
be included.

279
00:08:18,451 --> 00:08:18,741
Yeah.

280
00:08:18,746 --> 00:08:24,516
Um, I, I want that respect and I find
that, that that is the utmost respect

281
00:08:24,516 --> 00:08:26,376
that you can give to your partner.

282
00:08:26,766 --> 00:08:32,016
So that right there, that's,
that's transparent communication.

283
00:08:32,316 --> 00:08:32,496
Pressure.

284
00:08:32,496 --> 00:08:35,646
Now, am I going to like
any e every person?

285
00:08:36,366 --> 00:08:36,576
No.

286
00:08:37,076 --> 00:08:42,866
No, and I have to be very careful
with how I express that to my husband

287
00:08:42,866 --> 00:08:47,186
because if I straight up say like, yeah,
I don't like her, it's in his head.

288
00:08:47,756 --> 00:08:49,946
Oh yeah, he won't, he
won't talk to her anymore.

289
00:08:50,186 --> 00:08:52,396
No, and I can backtrack.

290
00:08:52,396 --> 00:08:56,656
I can, you know, explain my situation
and whatever, and maybe that'll work.

291
00:08:56,656 --> 00:08:59,726
But he, if he already
knows I don't like her.

292
00:08:59,726 --> 00:09:00,626
It's for a reason.

293
00:09:01,601 --> 00:09:02,381
Is it a good reason?

294
00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:03,011
I don't know.

295
00:09:03,371 --> 00:09:07,061
In my head it is, but yeah, I
can't, that's kind of, I don't know.

296
00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:10,361
I feel like an approval
would be like, I own you.

297
00:09:11,081 --> 00:09:13,091
I mean I do, but we don't
have to tell the whole

298
00:09:13,271 --> 00:09:13,541
world.

299
00:09:13,706 --> 00:09:15,641
But I mean this, but this is
kind of the point, is that,

300
00:09:15,671 --> 00:09:16,151
yeah,

301
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,231
even we.

302
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,651
Have rules that are obviously unfair.

303
00:09:20,676 --> 00:09:20,966
Yeah.

304
00:09:20,966 --> 00:09:21,966
They're very unfair.

305
00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:22,541
They're unfair.

306
00:09:22,601 --> 00:09:26,621
And this is, this is one that
would be unfair if I really,

307
00:09:26,621 --> 00:09:28,271
really felt strongly about, yeah.

308
00:09:28,931 --> 00:09:34,751
Now I'm okay with, with feeling the need
to tell you or include you beforehand.

309
00:09:34,751 --> 00:09:36,011
To me it's more of a respect.

310
00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:36,251
It is,

311
00:09:36,581 --> 00:09:37,751
I'm giving you that respect.

312
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:38,111
Yeah.

313
00:09:38,141 --> 00:09:42,491
But realistically doesn't match
the sexual freedom aspect of,

314
00:09:43,001 --> 00:09:43,391
right.

315
00:09:43,601 --> 00:09:44,591
Let me just do my thing.

316
00:09:44,621 --> 00:09:44,741
Yeah.

317
00:09:45,371 --> 00:09:45,941
Trust me.

318
00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:46,331
Yeah.

319
00:09:46,331 --> 00:09:46,871
You know what I mean?

320
00:09:46,921 --> 00:09:47,791
We're there now.

321
00:09:47,791 --> 00:09:49,741
Like he can tell me,
let me just do my thing.

322
00:09:49,771 --> 00:09:49,831
Yeah.

323
00:09:49,981 --> 00:09:50,761
And just trust me.

324
00:09:51,031 --> 00:09:52,561
And I'm like fine.

325
00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:53,431
Begrudgingly

326
00:09:53,431 --> 00:09:54,211
whatever,

327
00:09:54,271 --> 00:09:54,901
whatever.

328
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,531
Um, I guess, so I don't,
I mean, I don't know.

329
00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:58,071
I couldn't

330
00:09:58,571 --> 00:10:03,281
Now, although this is an unfair rule,
this is not a one-sided rule because

331
00:10:03,281 --> 00:10:04,571
it applies, applies to both of us.

332
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:04,691
I was

333
00:10:05,231 --> 00:10:05,531
say that

334
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:08,806
it's not that unfair for
us because we're both in

335
00:10:08,806 --> 00:10:09,086
this.

336
00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:11,176
Also you have a kink.

337
00:10:11,716 --> 00:10:12,136
I do.

338
00:10:12,136 --> 00:10:14,356
So that rule disappears.

339
00:10:14,596 --> 00:10:15,196
It can,

340
00:10:15,256 --> 00:10:15,826
um,

341
00:10:16,126 --> 00:10:16,546
it does.

342
00:10:17,046 --> 00:10:19,506
And that's okay for him.

343
00:10:20,406 --> 00:10:25,386
But that rule will never disappear
this way because that's not my kink.

344
00:10:25,776 --> 00:10:27,006
He's very respectful.

345
00:10:27,396 --> 00:10:27,756
I, I'm,

346
00:10:28,446 --> 00:10:31,536
and so if I were to tell
him, Hey, yeah, go have fun.

347
00:10:31,656 --> 00:10:32,736
I don't need to know anything.

348
00:10:32,976 --> 00:10:33,396
There you go.

349
00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:34,446
That rule has disappeared.

350
00:10:35,061 --> 00:10:36,651
And I set myself up for failure.

351
00:10:37,151 --> 00:10:38,231
Hey, nothing bad's happened

352
00:10:38,231 --> 00:10:41,831
yet, but yeah, no, um,
nothing bad has happened.

353
00:10:41,831 --> 00:10:42,011
I

354
00:10:42,011 --> 00:10:42,666
feel like something I'll say.

355
00:10:42,666 --> 00:10:45,671
I, I make decisions with you
in mind most of the time.

356
00:10:45,701 --> 00:10:48,011
You know what I was thinking
about, and this might be random.

357
00:10:48,101 --> 00:10:48,371
What's that?

358
00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:53,911
But I was thinking that if something
horrible would've would happen

359
00:10:53,911 --> 00:10:58,471
in the lifestyle, you and I would
totally leave the lifestyle.

360
00:10:58,921 --> 00:10:59,431
Easily.

361
00:10:59,641 --> 00:11:00,331
Yeah.

362
00:11:00,331 --> 00:11:00,341
Yeah.

363
00:11:00,691 --> 00:11:01,651
I was just thinking about that.

364
00:11:01,651 --> 00:11:03,006
I was like, wow, huh?

365
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:06,876
Well, because you know how I feel when,
when I hurt you, I, I hate hurting you.

366
00:11:06,881 --> 00:11:07,071
Yeah.

367
00:11:07,236 --> 00:11:07,416
Yeah.

368
00:11:07,446 --> 00:11:11,586
And I know that even in the slightest,
like, if you think you embarrassed

369
00:11:11,586 --> 00:11:12,986
me or you did something to hurt me.

370
00:11:12,986 --> 00:11:13,526
Like, forget it.

371
00:11:13,526 --> 00:11:14,186
You're so,

372
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:14,546
that's it.

373
00:11:14,756 --> 00:11:15,236
Upset.

374
00:11:15,236 --> 00:11:15,716
Yeah.

375
00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:15,726
Yeah.

376
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:16,526
And so.

377
00:11:17,121 --> 00:11:18,681
It's all about us together.

378
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:18,771
Yeah.

379
00:11:18,771 --> 00:11:19,491
As a unit.

380
00:11:19,551 --> 00:11:19,881
Yeah.

381
00:11:20,091 --> 00:11:21,411
Making sure we heal.

382
00:11:21,531 --> 00:11:21,801
Yeah.

383
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:24,021
And I don't think that we would,
either one of us would wanna

384
00:11:24,021 --> 00:11:25,101
be a part of the lifestyle.

385
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,371
If something, if something
happened, like its a Yeah, no, uh,

386
00:11:27,371 --> 00:11:28,691
you know, a cheating situation or

387
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:28,781
Yeah.

388
00:11:29,171 --> 00:11:29,891
Whatever, you know?

389
00:11:29,891 --> 00:11:29,951
Yeah.

390
00:11:30,641 --> 00:11:32,831
But there's not a whole
lot that could really kill.

391
00:11:33,251 --> 00:11:34,481
There's everything we talk about

392
00:11:34,541 --> 00:11:34,841
yeah.

393
00:11:35,201 --> 00:11:35,561
I dunno.

394
00:11:36,311 --> 00:11:37,091
I was just thinking, yeah,

395
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:37,601
that was a good one though.

396
00:11:38,101 --> 00:11:41,101
Now the next one you can do blank.

397
00:11:41,731 --> 00:11:42,481
I can't.

398
00:11:42,981 --> 00:11:43,201
Huh.

399
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:44,706
Okay.

400
00:11:45,206 --> 00:11:45,506
All right.

401
00:11:45,506 --> 00:11:45,866
People,

402
00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:48,976
It is, and, and we know
a lot of people help.

403
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:49,306
Yeah.

404
00:11:49,516 --> 00:11:49,846
Yes.

405
00:11:49,846 --> 00:11:53,346
We are those people in a little bit
of well, like for Poly for example.

406
00:11:53,436 --> 00:11:53,766
Yeah.

407
00:11:53,976 --> 00:11:56,106
Like I told you, you can
date whoever you want.

408
00:11:56,111 --> 00:11:56,151
Yes.

409
00:11:56,901 --> 00:11:57,411
I can't.

410
00:11:57,621 --> 00:11:57,891
Yeah.

411
00:11:57,966 --> 00:11:58,256
Yeah.

412
00:11:58,261 --> 00:12:02,061
Um, I just did a, uh, a TikTok video today

413
00:12:02,151 --> 00:12:02,481
mm-hmm.

414
00:12:02,961 --> 00:12:05,271
On the one penis policy

415
00:12:05,421 --> 00:12:05,721
I saw.

416
00:12:05,751 --> 00:12:06,081
Yeah.

417
00:12:06,086 --> 00:12:06,276
Yeah.

418
00:12:06,561 --> 00:12:13,641
And that is essentially this, which
is, I can go out there and I can

419
00:12:13,641 --> 00:12:15,561
have sex with women all I want.

420
00:12:15,561 --> 00:12:16,161
Mm-hmm.

421
00:12:16,516 --> 00:12:20,001
And you can have sex with women all you
want, but you can't have another man.

422
00:12:20,121 --> 00:12:20,421
Yeah.

423
00:12:20,826 --> 00:12:21,066
You

424
00:12:21,066 --> 00:12:21,306
know?

425
00:12:21,546 --> 00:12:21,756
Yeah.

426
00:12:21,756 --> 00:12:22,476
That sort of thing.

427
00:12:22,956 --> 00:12:24,156
You can do that.

428
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,606
Uh, but I can't What do
you think about that?

429
00:12:27,876 --> 00:12:28,806
Oh my gosh.

430
00:12:28,806 --> 00:12:29,316
Really?

431
00:12:29,346 --> 00:12:29,826
Tell me.

432
00:12:29,856 --> 00:12:30,756
I think that's bullshit.

433
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:30,996
Yeah.

434
00:12:31,506 --> 00:12:32,616
Bullshit because

435
00:12:32,856 --> 00:12:33,216
yeah,

436
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:37,426
it's not you don't own
your partner and that's it.

437
00:12:37,456 --> 00:12:37,726
Yeah.

438
00:12:37,786 --> 00:12:39,526
You do not own that person.

439
00:12:39,886 --> 00:12:41,596
What's gonna, what you're
gonna end up doing.

440
00:12:41,596 --> 00:12:42,476
I mean, you're doing contradicting
what you just said a little while

441
00:12:42,476 --> 00:12:45,456
ago, but I mean, I mean, I do own you,
but you know, you know what I mean?

442
00:12:45,456 --> 00:12:47,356
Like I don't own, like I say that, but.

443
00:12:47,956 --> 00:12:50,806
We play like that and
that's just the way we are.

444
00:12:50,926 --> 00:12:51,016
Yeah.

445
00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:51,856
Right, honey?

446
00:12:52,246 --> 00:12:52,426
Yeah.

447
00:12:52,426 --> 00:12:53,021
Yeah, yeah.

448
00:12:53,296 --> 00:12:53,716
Absolutely.

449
00:12:53,886 --> 00:12:56,536
No it's, you don't own,
I don't own his penis.

450
00:12:56,536 --> 00:12:57,706
He doesn't own my vagina.

451
00:12:57,706 --> 00:13:00,196
I could do whatever I want with
it and I'm gonna have respect

452
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,246
and I'm gonna tell him about it.

453
00:13:01,516 --> 00:13:01,546
Okay.

454
00:13:01,736 --> 00:13:03,836
I feel like that's a major red flag.

455
00:13:03,836 --> 00:13:06,476
And if somebody told
me now, okay, hold on.

456
00:13:07,196 --> 00:13:12,686
There is certain things where
it's, say it's me and Adam, right.

457
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:13,466
Um.

458
00:13:13,966 --> 00:13:17,596
There is a girl who doesn't, a
woman who doesn't want, who can't

459
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:19,756
be with him, but only be with me.

460
00:13:20,256 --> 00:13:21,726
We've had that situation.

461
00:13:21,786 --> 00:13:21,876
Yeah.

462
00:13:22,746 --> 00:13:23,496
It happens.

463
00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:29,666
It's out there and we understand
it, but the woman is okay with it.

464
00:13:29,666 --> 00:13:31,406
She's like, yeah, no sonian to guys.

465
00:13:31,596 --> 00:13:33,336
I prefer women.

466
00:13:33,526 --> 00:13:33,536
Um.

467
00:13:34,036 --> 00:13:34,606
I don't know.

468
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,346
I don't think that's a rule
that you can actually have.

469
00:13:36,346 --> 00:13:38,356
Like, that's not a, it's
not a good rule, people,

470
00:13:38,356 --> 00:13:39,286
well, it's not fair.

471
00:13:39,346 --> 00:13:40,096
It's not fair.

472
00:13:40,096 --> 00:13:40,186
Which

473
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:41,506
is exactly what this show is about.

474
00:13:41,506 --> 00:13:42,016
It's about being,

475
00:13:42,016 --> 00:13:42,676
it's not fair

476
00:13:42,706 --> 00:13:45,046
being in a swinging position.

477
00:13:45,196 --> 00:13:45,256
Yeah.

478
00:13:45,256 --> 00:13:47,566
Where you have rules
that are just not fair.

479
00:13:47,596 --> 00:13:47,956
Yeah.

480
00:13:47,986 --> 00:13:51,436
And that is a good,
good lesson in that one.

481
00:13:51,466 --> 00:13:51,826
Yeah.

482
00:13:51,946 --> 00:13:52,126
Yeah.

483
00:13:52,606 --> 00:13:55,186
Now the next one, no single guys.

484
00:13:55,396 --> 00:13:56,476
Oh my gosh.

485
00:13:56,746 --> 00:13:58,246
Without talking about why, huh?

486
00:13:58,996 --> 00:14:00,076
No single guys.

487
00:14:00,976 --> 00:14:01,366
Um

488
00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:01,421
hmm.

489
00:14:01,921 --> 00:14:03,541
I don't think I've ever had that.

490
00:14:03,721 --> 00:14:06,241
As a matter of fact, our first
experience you were with a single

491
00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:06,451
guy.

492
00:14:06,456 --> 00:14:06,686
Yeah.

493
00:14:07,026 --> 00:14:09,436
Um, yeah, I guess it know

494
00:14:09,436 --> 00:14:10,601
some, so that's never been a rule V

495
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:10,801
know.

496
00:14:10,921 --> 00:14:13,696
I know some people don't
like it because, um,

497
00:14:14,476 --> 00:14:15,706
bad experiences with bulls.

498
00:14:15,736 --> 00:14:16,276
Yeah.

499
00:14:16,281 --> 00:14:16,321
Yeah.

500
00:14:16,876 --> 00:14:22,036
I saw this guy today on TikTok,
handsome and um, all standing

501
00:14:22,036 --> 00:14:23,386
there, all muscular, whatever.

502
00:14:23,386 --> 00:14:26,896
And he is like, he's older, probably
like our ages, and he is like when

503
00:14:26,896 --> 00:14:28,096
they want a bull and I was like.

504
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:32,506
Homie, you were in your forties and
you're still calling yourself a bull.

505
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,556
Nah, Uhuh, I don't even like that.

506
00:14:35,616 --> 00:14:35,766
Like,

507
00:14:35,766 --> 00:14:37,746
you know, these guys, they have, uh, pride

508
00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:38,256
Yeah.

509
00:14:38,256 --> 00:14:39,186
In that title.

510
00:14:39,186 --> 00:14:43,146
But I will say that most times
when people go by that title

511
00:14:43,566 --> 00:14:43,686
Yeah.

512
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,626
It turns off most couples like ourselves.

513
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:46,776
Mm-hmm.

514
00:14:47,076 --> 00:14:48,336
Where we're like, oh, he is a bull.

515
00:14:48,426 --> 00:14:51,141
No thanks, wanna respect you to prove
something respectful, single dude.

516
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,166
We're not trying to do
this alpha male shit.

517
00:14:53,316 --> 00:14:53,766
You know what I mean?

518
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:54,766
So yeah.

519
00:14:55,116 --> 00:14:55,716
There are.

520
00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:59,676
There are different reasons why
people would say no single guys.

521
00:14:59,756 --> 00:15:03,586
Normally it's because of, a
trauma with a past experience.

522
00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:04,006
Right.

523
00:15:04,106 --> 00:15:05,336
Or for whatever reason.

524
00:15:05,336 --> 00:15:10,376
But really, I mean, that's not really
fair because I'm pretty sure single

525
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:10,646
woman,

526
00:15:10,916 --> 00:15:12,296
they don't have a problem
with a single woman.

527
00:15:13,241 --> 00:15:15,221
That's like the sought after thing.

528
00:15:15,311 --> 00:15:15,671
There you go.

529
00:15:16,241 --> 00:15:20,801
But it's, the guy is maybe
straight, so he can't enjoy the man.

530
00:15:21,281 --> 00:15:21,341
Yeah.

531
00:15:21,341 --> 00:15:23,921
And so really it's the man
is with the other woman.

532
00:15:23,951 --> 00:15:24,011
Yeah.

533
00:15:24,011 --> 00:15:27,641
And that's it, as opposed to a
single woman where both in the

534
00:15:27,641 --> 00:15:28,961
couple could take part in it.

535
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:28,971
Mm-hmm.

536
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:29,201
You know?

537
00:15:29,531 --> 00:15:29,741
Yeah.

538
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:35,451
So that's why that rule
ladies and germs is not fair.

539
00:15:35,571 --> 00:15:35,811
Yeah.

540
00:15:36,171 --> 00:15:36,531
Yeah.

541
00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:38,721
I like when you say germs.

542
00:15:39,051 --> 00:15:39,381
Yeah.

543
00:15:39,711 --> 00:15:39,951
Yes.

544
00:15:39,951 --> 00:15:40,641
It's cute.

545
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:41,591
Thank you.

546
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:42,316
You are welcome.

547
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:43,086
All right.

548
00:15:43,086 --> 00:15:44,856
So there's another one that
I wanted to talk about.

549
00:15:45,066 --> 00:15:45,216
Yeah.

550
00:15:45,716 --> 00:15:48,176
It's the, we don't talk
about it afterwards.

551
00:15:48,416 --> 00:15:49,016
Oh.

552
00:15:49,356 --> 00:15:51,246
It just happens and we move on

553
00:15:51,336 --> 00:15:52,146
and we move on.

554
00:15:52,476 --> 00:15:57,671
Now I've kind of been the person
I used to get really upset after.

555
00:15:58,171 --> 00:16:03,691
I would be like in my feelings, I'm not,
I'm, you know, just like, don't touch me.

556
00:16:03,691 --> 00:16:04,921
Just go shower.

557
00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:05,221
Yeah.

558
00:16:05,221 --> 00:16:06,271
You'd be spaced out.

559
00:16:06,271 --> 00:16:11,701
I would, um, I would just remove my
brain from whatever feeling I was having.

560
00:16:12,231 --> 00:16:12,291
Yeah.

561
00:16:12,791 --> 00:16:13,011
And

562
00:16:13,011 --> 00:16:14,026
I'd be like, I don't wanna know.

563
00:16:14,026 --> 00:16:16,906
And then I'd be like, okay,
and how were you holding?

564
00:16:17,146 --> 00:16:19,006
What and what did you do?

565
00:16:19,606 --> 00:16:20,146
Show me.

566
00:16:20,836 --> 00:16:21,256
Yeah.

567
00:16:21,256 --> 00:16:24,466
It, it wasn't with for
the sake of interest,

568
00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:24,886
sexiness.

569
00:16:24,946 --> 00:16:25,576
Yeah, no.

570
00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:25,696
Yeah.

571
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:28,486
It was, it was, it was to pick,
pick at it and start a fight.

572
00:16:28,636 --> 00:16:28,996
Yeah.

573
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:32,656
And I feelings remember telling you I
would, I would be like, if you don't

574
00:16:32,656 --> 00:16:34,606
wanna know, why are you asking me?

575
00:16:34,606 --> 00:16:34,666
Yeah.

576
00:16:34,666 --> 00:16:36,466
I said, 'cause I, I know
you don't wanna know.

577
00:16:36,471 --> 00:16:36,481
See,

578
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,866
that's one of my points
set up for failure.

579
00:16:39,106 --> 00:16:39,406
Yeah.

580
00:16:39,406 --> 00:16:41,006
And it would just cause fights.

581
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:41,306
Yeah.

582
00:16:41,606 --> 00:16:42,146
It would cause

583
00:16:42,146 --> 00:16:42,266
fights

584
00:16:42,266 --> 00:16:42,656
easily.

585
00:16:42,656 --> 00:16:44,006
I mean, why would it not?

586
00:16:44,246 --> 00:16:44,576
Yeah.

587
00:16:44,581 --> 00:16:44,791
Yeah.

588
00:16:44,846 --> 00:16:49,986
That's a, it's, you have to talk
about, you don't have to give details.

589
00:16:50,046 --> 00:16:52,701
Yeah, you don't actually have to
talk about the performance of it all.

590
00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:53,091
Yeah.

591
00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:56,661
And break it down and understand
if you wanna know the details,

592
00:16:56,661 --> 00:16:57,921
be prepared for the answer.

593
00:16:57,921 --> 00:16:59,961
It's probably gonna be
super uncomfortable.

594
00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:04,181
And if your husband is a per on or if your
partner is honest it's, you know, they're

595
00:17:04,181 --> 00:17:06,041
gonna be detailed and it is what it is.

596
00:17:06,041 --> 00:17:07,301
You're asking questions.

597
00:17:07,381 --> 00:17:11,401
I have put myself in that situation
so many times, and again, if you don't

598
00:17:11,401 --> 00:17:13,921
know, I'm still a very jealous person.

599
00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:14,266
Oh,

600
00:17:15,016 --> 00:17:15,376
no.

601
00:17:15,376 --> 00:17:15,916
We all know.

602
00:17:16,066 --> 00:17:16,306
Yeah.

603
00:17:16,366 --> 00:17:16,576
Oh,

604
00:17:16,666 --> 00:17:17,296
everybody knows.

605
00:17:17,296 --> 00:17:21,076
So I wanna know, and then
I'm gonna pick at it.

606
00:17:21,176 --> 00:17:22,466
He's so used to that.

607
00:17:22,496 --> 00:17:24,356
I know how to, he knows how
to talk to me now about it.

608
00:17:24,356 --> 00:17:24,596
Like,

609
00:17:24,926 --> 00:17:25,346
yeah.

610
00:17:25,466 --> 00:17:25,826
Yeah.

611
00:17:25,826 --> 00:17:29,216
Well, I try to give you as
much info as I feel you need.

612
00:17:29,366 --> 00:17:29,546
Yeah.

613
00:17:30,296 --> 00:17:34,746
Um, I think the big thing is if
you don't talk about it after

614
00:17:34,866 --> 00:17:35,166
Yeah.

615
00:17:35,666 --> 00:17:40,466
Say you're having an experience
with somebody and I'm just hell bent

616
00:17:40,466 --> 00:17:41,636
on, I don't wanna talk about it.

617
00:17:42,221 --> 00:17:43,001
Let's not talk about it.

618
00:17:43,181 --> 00:17:43,541
Yeah.

619
00:17:44,171 --> 00:17:46,691
And you start developing feelings.

620
00:17:47,111 --> 00:17:47,411
Yeah.

621
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:48,461
And I don't wanna talk about it.

622
00:17:48,671 --> 00:17:49,031
Yeah.

623
00:17:49,061 --> 00:17:50,051
We never talk about it.

624
00:17:50,561 --> 00:17:53,021
And you decide, well I'm gonna
start exploring things 'cause

625
00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:53,921
he is not talking to me.

626
00:17:54,701 --> 00:17:55,931
Oh yeah.

627
00:17:56,351 --> 00:17:56,891
There goes that.

628
00:17:57,101 --> 00:18:00,101
And don't be scared to talk
people like talk about it.

629
00:18:00,941 --> 00:18:02,381
You have to figure that feeling out.

630
00:18:02,741 --> 00:18:03,101
Yeah.

631
00:18:03,371 --> 00:18:04,961
It's an uncomfortable feeling.

632
00:18:05,441 --> 00:18:05,981
Yeah.

633
00:18:06,281 --> 00:18:09,466
And you know, some
people want every detail.

634
00:18:09,966 --> 00:18:10,746
Kim, he loves, I

635
00:18:10,746 --> 00:18:11,736
love the details.

636
00:18:11,736 --> 00:18:12,066
I think

637
00:18:12,066 --> 00:18:12,426
it's hot.

638
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:12,966
He loves the details.

639
00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:13,806
I don't know how to give.

640
00:18:13,806 --> 00:18:13,986
You can

641
00:18:13,986 --> 00:18:14,106
break

642
00:18:14,111 --> 00:18:14,436
it down.

643
00:18:14,496 --> 00:18:14,886
Oh man.

644
00:18:14,976 --> 00:18:16,056
She was not a good storyteller.

645
00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:16,116
I'm

646
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:16,296
better

647
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:16,596
now.

648
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,556
When we first got together,

649
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:17,796
yeah.

650
00:18:18,126 --> 00:18:20,106
I'd be like, okay, I need details.

651
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:20,226
Yeah.

652
00:18:20,226 --> 00:18:23,316
And she would give me like three sentences
and I'm like, you can't tell me more.

653
00:18:23,316 --> 00:18:24,306
And she's like, what do you want?

654
00:18:24,846 --> 00:18:25,921
I'm like, I want everything.

655
00:18:26,516 --> 00:18:29,366
What's the color of the
clothing you were wearing?

656
00:18:29,396 --> 00:18:29,786
Yeah.

657
00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:31,496
Like what kind of shoes did you have on?

658
00:18:31,496 --> 00:18:33,566
Yeah, I wanna imagine this entire thing.

659
00:18:33,596 --> 00:18:35,336
Give me the whole set design.

660
00:18:35,786 --> 00:18:37,436
Like is it like full house?

661
00:18:37,436 --> 00:18:39,026
Like is it that kind of big setting?

662
00:18:39,026 --> 00:18:39,806
Like what is this?

663
00:18:39,806 --> 00:18:40,106
You know?

664
00:18:40,566 --> 00:18:44,286
So I literally, she got
tired of me interrupting her

665
00:18:44,286 --> 00:18:46,026
story, asking for details,

666
00:18:46,086 --> 00:18:46,176
and

667
00:18:46,566 --> 00:18:48,876
so she learned how to just be detailed.

668
00:18:49,056 --> 00:18:49,146
Mm-hmm.

669
00:18:49,656 --> 00:18:51,726
Um, and then I've also learned to just.

670
00:18:52,226 --> 00:18:53,246
Except whatever I get.

671
00:18:53,746 --> 00:18:54,236
Because

672
00:18:55,226 --> 00:18:55,876
look, dude, we

673
00:18:56,266 --> 00:18:56,716
work the

674
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:57,436
bathroom, don't, and that's

675
00:18:57,436 --> 00:19:00,111
just, you know, not, not happens,
not a lot of detail happens.

676
00:19:00,116 --> 00:19:00,471
And, and if

677
00:19:00,471 --> 00:19:01,161
I'm tired,

678
00:19:01,161 --> 00:19:03,531
and then plus she's got a DH, ADHD brain.

679
00:19:03,531 --> 00:19:06,501
So if I ask her, you know, what happened?

680
00:19:07,401 --> 00:19:10,911
She'll give me a quick once over
one or two sentences and then I

681
00:19:10,911 --> 00:19:15,561
have to learn to sit back and wait
because way more is coming over

682
00:19:15,561 --> 00:19:17,661
the span of the next three hours.

683
00:19:17,751 --> 00:19:17,901
You

684
00:19:17,901 --> 00:19:18,501
don't we're,

685
00:19:18,501 --> 00:19:19,156
you don't to call it a DHD.

686
00:19:19,446 --> 00:19:22,071
We're eating while it's neuro
divergent, while we're sitting down

687
00:19:22,071 --> 00:19:24,231
watching a TV show or whatever.

688
00:19:24,711 --> 00:19:27,171
At the most inappropriate time
is when it's gonna come out.

689
00:19:27,171 --> 00:19:30,036
It's gonna be like, oh yeah, so then
this happened, and I'm like, bro.

690
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:31,586
Time and place.

691
00:19:31,646 --> 00:19:32,691
I don't wanna talk to you anymore.

692
00:19:33,191 --> 00:19:33,986
You love me.

693
00:19:33,986 --> 00:19:35,006
You know you love me.

694
00:19:35,506 --> 00:19:38,206
Anyway, so I liked this one.

695
00:19:38,206 --> 00:19:41,596
This one, uh, kind of caught my attention
because then this is gonna kind of turn

696
00:19:41,596 --> 00:19:45,616
some heads, same room only forever.

697
00:19:46,116 --> 00:19:46,776
Um, don't think.

698
00:19:46,776 --> 00:19:46,976
Now

699
00:19:47,141 --> 00:19:49,631
I know a lot of people, I
don't, that's a bad one.

700
00:19:49,631 --> 00:19:50,981
I'm not saying it's bad.

701
00:19:51,061 --> 00:19:55,531
These are rules that people are
in that are seemingly unfair.

702
00:19:56,031 --> 00:19:57,586
I mean, if they both
agree, it's not unfair

703
00:19:58,086 --> 00:20:00,786
if they both agree it's not
unfair, but let's face facts.

704
00:20:00,786 --> 00:20:01,746
We had this rule.

705
00:20:01,956 --> 00:20:02,046
Mm-hmm.

706
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:07,356
And I made it real clear that
I was down for not Same Rome.

707
00:20:07,686 --> 00:20:07,986
Yeah.

708
00:20:07,986 --> 00:20:07,996
Yeah.

709
00:20:08,376 --> 00:20:10,206
But it's because it's what you wanted.

710
00:20:10,536 --> 00:20:10,806
Yeah.

711
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:12,786
So IE It was unfair.

712
00:20:12,966 --> 00:20:13,056
Yeah.

713
00:20:13,056 --> 00:20:13,146
But

714
00:20:13,926 --> 00:20:14,946
we did it together.

715
00:20:15,156 --> 00:20:15,666
Yes.

716
00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:16,856
My point.

717
00:20:17,276 --> 00:20:17,876
Exactly.

718
00:20:18,716 --> 00:20:19,316
And it was fun.

719
00:20:19,816 --> 00:20:20,146
Oh yeah.

720
00:20:20,151 --> 00:20:20,686
No, no, no.

721
00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:20,776
This,

722
00:20:21,226 --> 00:20:21,886
and it's preferred,
but it's not a forever.

723
00:20:21,976 --> 00:20:22,126
It's

724
00:20:22,126 --> 00:20:22,786
preferreds for us.

725
00:20:23,651 --> 00:20:26,956
But for, but at one
point we thought it was,

726
00:20:26,986 --> 00:20:28,456
yes, we did think it was

727
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:28,511
yes.

728
00:20:28,516 --> 00:20:29,176
Yes we did.

729
00:20:29,226 --> 00:20:30,696
I feel like that's a fear.

730
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,176
The same room only forever.

731
00:20:32,206 --> 00:20:33,876
That's a fear of trust.

732
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:35,316
Is that what it is?

733
00:20:35,346 --> 00:20:35,616
Yeah.

734
00:20:35,616 --> 00:20:36,666
'cause that's, that was me.

735
00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:39,426
You And what was it that you didn't trust?

736
00:20:39,516 --> 00:20:39,816
I didn't.

737
00:20:40,626 --> 00:20:41,886
What were you afraid of?

738
00:20:42,456 --> 00:20:43,086
Well,

739
00:20:43,866 --> 00:20:44,376
because I, I, you

740
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:45,576
don't know how to say No,

741
00:20:46,176 --> 00:20:47,556
I know how to say no.

742
00:20:47,616 --> 00:20:48,966
I don't care to say no.

743
00:20:49,656 --> 00:20:50,046
Yeah.

744
00:20:50,046 --> 00:20:51,186
You don't know how to say no.

745
00:20:51,236 --> 00:20:51,656
Okay.

746
00:20:51,896 --> 00:20:52,556
I can't argue.

747
00:20:52,706 --> 00:20:52,946
Yeah.

748
00:20:52,946 --> 00:20:53,846
You don't know how to say no.

749
00:20:53,846 --> 00:20:58,166
So things have happened and it's like,
well, why didn't you just say stop?

750
00:20:58,766 --> 00:21:00,546
And you're like I, I don't know.

751
00:21:01,476 --> 00:21:02,071
Well, that was then.

752
00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:03,126
This is now.

753
00:21:03,786 --> 00:21:04,086
Yeah.

754
00:21:04,131 --> 00:21:07,026
I, I don't think you even put
yourself in that situation again.

755
00:21:07,991 --> 00:21:08,491
That's fair.

756
00:21:08,646 --> 00:21:09,636
But that was my, okay.

757
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,286
Anyway, that was a fear of trust.

758
00:21:11,286 --> 00:21:12,366
Like you don't know how to say no.

759
00:21:12,366 --> 00:21:14,316
So, and it's not a fear now.

760
00:21:15,096 --> 00:21:18,966
It's not a fear, it's
just like, it's my fear.

761
00:21:19,116 --> 00:21:20,316
It's an internal fear.

762
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:20,351
Mm-hmm.

763
00:21:20,586 --> 00:21:22,266
It's not a it our fear.

764
00:21:22,326 --> 00:21:22,416
Right.

765
00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:23,106
Does that make sense?

766
00:21:23,111 --> 00:21:24,071
Yeah, I think so.

767
00:21:24,186 --> 00:21:24,486
Yeah.

768
00:21:25,006 --> 00:21:26,926
That's just a, my fear
that I have to get past.

769
00:21:26,956 --> 00:21:28,636
'cause I know you and you know better.

770
00:21:28,641 --> 00:21:28,881
Yeah,

771
00:21:29,236 --> 00:21:30,346
no, I know.

772
00:21:30,346 --> 00:21:36,136
You and you, you always have me on the
top of your head and heart and, you know.

773
00:21:36,136 --> 00:21:36,256
Right.

774
00:21:36,526 --> 00:21:38,116
So not like, you know better.

775
00:21:39,016 --> 00:21:39,236
No, I, I do You know what I mean?

776
00:21:39,281 --> 00:21:39,976
I didn't take it that way.

777
00:21:39,976 --> 00:21:40,361
You know better.

778
00:21:40,631 --> 00:21:40,921
Yeah,

779
00:21:41,111 --> 00:21:41,401
yeah.

780
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,081
No, yeah.

781
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:42,521
No,

782
00:21:42,681 --> 00:21:43,516
I know what you mean.

783
00:21:43,516 --> 00:21:44,896
So, yeah, it's, it's, um,

784
00:21:45,586 --> 00:21:47,566
I mean, it's great for
people first starting out.

785
00:21:48,046 --> 00:21:48,556
Yeah.

786
00:21:48,556 --> 00:21:48,856
You know,

787
00:21:48,946 --> 00:21:52,006
Hey, and, and that's a really
good point there, because.

788
00:21:52,741 --> 00:21:56,261
When you're first starting out, you're
gonna have a lot of put yourself, whatever

789
00:21:56,261 --> 00:22:02,441
you want, whatever rule it makes you
comfortable, and then talk about it.

790
00:22:02,651 --> 00:22:04,931
Talk about your experiences afterwards.

791
00:22:04,931 --> 00:22:06,341
Talk about what you didn't like.

792
00:22:06,341 --> 00:22:08,981
Talk about what you did,
like what you enjoyed.

793
00:22:09,521 --> 00:22:12,581
And if you didn't like something,
why did it make you feel like that?

794
00:22:12,611 --> 00:22:14,341
Why is this, whatever it is.

795
00:22:14,611 --> 00:22:15,661
Talk it out.

796
00:22:15,881 --> 00:22:16,171
Yeah.

797
00:22:16,176 --> 00:22:18,906
Like start with baby steps.

798
00:22:19,521 --> 00:22:22,251
Talk about something uncomfortable and
then talk about something really great.

799
00:22:22,821 --> 00:22:26,451
Well, let me tell you, it was
difficult telling you that I

800
00:22:26,451 --> 00:22:28,521
wanted to do separate room.

801
00:22:28,701 --> 00:22:28,941
Yeah.

802
00:22:29,271 --> 00:22:30,861
Well, you made a point.

803
00:22:31,191 --> 00:22:31,431
Yeah.

804
00:22:31,431 --> 00:22:31,671
I had.

805
00:22:31,721 --> 00:22:33,131
And that was the reason why Yeah.

806
00:22:33,551 --> 00:22:38,321
Was, you know, because when, when we
are together, uh, my focus is on you.

807
00:22:38,321 --> 00:22:39,551
I'm worried about you.

808
00:22:39,581 --> 00:22:39,881
Yeah.

809
00:22:40,031 --> 00:22:42,941
If you're having a good time
and I can't enjoy myself.

810
00:22:43,001 --> 00:22:43,301
Yeah.

811
00:22:43,601 --> 00:22:46,451
And so that made it just too difficult.

812
00:22:46,451 --> 00:22:47,651
And every time we would.

813
00:22:48,151 --> 00:22:49,501
Play in the same room.

814
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:54,421
It was just, it was so difficult because
I knew that you were most likely having

815
00:22:54,421 --> 00:22:57,541
a bad experience and me, I was gonna
have a good experience because it's

816
00:22:57,541 --> 00:22:59,911
hard to make a bad experience for me.

817
00:22:59,911 --> 00:23:00,121
Yeah.

818
00:23:00,931 --> 00:23:03,481
And it just, you know, it was one
of those things I was like, man,

819
00:23:03,481 --> 00:23:05,191
I just, I'd like to enjoy myself.

820
00:23:06,121 --> 00:23:06,421
Yeah.

821
00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:07,531
It's the whole idea of this.

822
00:23:08,071 --> 00:23:08,476
And you know, I don't.

823
00:23:09,166 --> 00:23:11,896
Play separately all the time,
but you know, if it comes up,

824
00:23:11,896 --> 00:23:13,486
it's cool, you know, it works.

825
00:23:13,546 --> 00:23:13,726
Yeah.

826
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:16,486
So, but it's nice to have
that freedom of it all.

827
00:23:16,846 --> 00:23:18,766
And I, it's nice to know
that I have your trust.

828
00:23:19,156 --> 00:23:22,106
It's nice to know that it's
not gonna come up as an issue.

829
00:23:22,196 --> 00:23:22,316
Mm-hmm.

830
00:23:22,521 --> 00:23:23,061
It's nice.

831
00:23:23,061 --> 00:23:23,151
Mm-hmm.

832
00:23:23,661 --> 00:23:23,961
Yeah.

833
00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:25,221
So

834
00:23:25,286 --> 00:23:25,736
he's nice.

835
00:23:26,236 --> 00:23:27,256
What do you think about that?

836
00:23:27,616 --> 00:23:34,246
I think that's a it's a nice option, but
again, in the beginning, it's great if

837
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:35,776
you're already in it for like 10 years.

838
00:23:35,776 --> 00:23:37,426
Come on, growth.

839
00:23:37,801 --> 00:23:38,581
There's growth.

840
00:23:38,586 --> 00:23:38,896
Growth.

841
00:23:39,331 --> 00:23:39,901
That's the whole idea.

842
00:23:40,471 --> 00:23:40,601
Gotta grow.

843
00:23:40,601 --> 00:23:40,951
You want to grow, man?

844
00:23:40,951 --> 00:23:41,341
Yes.

845
00:23:41,491 --> 00:23:41,941
Yes.

846
00:23:42,001 --> 00:23:42,601
Wanna grow?

847
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:47,341
Put these as your little training wheels,
whatever, however you wanna start off.

848
00:23:47,851 --> 00:23:49,291
But talk about them.

849
00:23:49,291 --> 00:23:51,811
Talk about your roles at every experience.

850
00:23:51,841 --> 00:23:53,971
How about at every experience you have?

851
00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:55,171
Talk about it.

852
00:23:55,531 --> 00:23:56,251
Talk about it.

853
00:23:56,251 --> 00:23:56,741
Talk about it.

854
00:23:56,741 --> 00:23:57,421
There you go.

855
00:23:57,841 --> 00:23:59,281
I just came up with a business idea.

856
00:23:59,636 --> 00:24:00,016
Oh my God.

857
00:24:00,016 --> 00:24:00,121
Oh my gosh.

858
00:24:00,511 --> 00:24:01,621
Okay, let's finish.

859
00:24:01,621 --> 00:24:01,831
Yes.

860
00:24:02,331 --> 00:24:05,301
Well, if this episode
made you stop and think.

861
00:24:05,646 --> 00:24:06,456
That's a good thing.

862
00:24:06,536 --> 00:24:10,496
And if you're realizing, oh wow, we have
that rule, you're definitely not alone.

863
00:24:10,616 --> 00:24:11,006
Been there.

864
00:24:11,831 --> 00:24:12,131
Yeah.

865
00:24:12,671 --> 00:24:15,911
So if you want to share your experience
anonymously, head to our website

866
00:24:15,911 --> 00:24:18,881
at www dot beyond monogamy com.

867
00:24:19,181 --> 00:24:21,821
Submit a Beyond Monogamy Confessional.

868
00:24:21,881 --> 00:24:21,971
Mm-hmm.

869
00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:24,161
It's 100% anonymous.

870
00:24:24,221 --> 00:24:24,671
Yes.

871
00:24:24,671 --> 00:24:25,361
And you know what?

872
00:24:25,361 --> 00:24:30,131
While you're there, you can check out
all of our episodes are blogs, the

873
00:24:30,131 --> 00:24:32,996
guest bios, merch that I like to make.

874
00:24:33,496 --> 00:24:36,946
And a ton of resources we
built for the community.

875
00:24:37,096 --> 00:24:37,336
Yes,

876
00:24:37,336 --> 00:24:38,081
because we love you guys.

877
00:24:38,446 --> 00:24:38,506
We

878
00:24:38,521 --> 00:24:39,436
do love you guys.

879
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,326
It's for you, but it's also for us.

880
00:24:42,016 --> 00:24:46,876
You can also count beyond Monogamy
streaming on full swap radio.com every

881
00:24:46,876 --> 00:24:49,936
Thursday at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central.

882
00:24:50,206 --> 00:24:53,086
And make sure you're following
us on Spotify and Apple Podcast

883
00:24:53,086 --> 00:24:54,856
so you don't miss the next one.

884
00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:55,756
That's right.

885
00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:56,326
And.

886
00:24:56,956 --> 00:24:57,946
Special shout out.

887
00:24:57,946 --> 00:25:01,666
Thank you so much to our listeners
who have actually been donating

888
00:25:01,666 --> 00:25:03,586
coffee to us, which is really awesome.

889
00:25:03,916 --> 00:25:05,296
Can be done on our website.

890
00:25:05,296 --> 00:25:08,251
Tiffany G. Out in Iowa.

891
00:25:08,251 --> 00:25:09,301
We appreciate you.

892
00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:12,241
We appreciate you listening,
and we definitely appreciate you

893
00:25:12,241 --> 00:25:13,681
taking the care of our coffee.

894
00:25:13,711 --> 00:25:17,321
Yeah, we enjoyed a nice Dutch Bros.
on you and we appreciate that.

895
00:25:17,321 --> 00:25:17,626
Thank

896
00:25:17,626 --> 00:25:17,636
you.

897
00:25:17,941 --> 00:25:22,261
And if you have any questions, you can
always go to www dot beyond monogamy com.

898
00:25:22,531 --> 00:25:25,801
There's a little little button
there that says Buy me a coffee.

899
00:25:26,251 --> 00:25:29,071
And by all means, we are
not too proud to beg.

900
00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:30,261
That's true.

901
00:25:30,891 --> 00:25:31,731
Next time, guys.

902
00:25:31,791 --> 00:25:32,296
That's right.

903
00:25:32,636 --> 00:25:33,096
So with that.

904
00:25:33,661 --> 00:25:37,051
We would like to say thank you
as always for joining us and

905
00:25:37,051 --> 00:25:38,341
we will see you guys next week.

906
00:25:38,551 --> 00:25:38,641
Bye.