One-Sided Rules in the Swinger Lifestyle: Insecurity, Control & Communication

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Alright y'all, before we
dive in, a quick heads up.

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This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated pg.

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We're talking about adult themes, sexual
content, and the kind of stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kits.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not
licensed therapists, counselors, or sex.

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Couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches,

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not sex couches

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or just a couple of people sharing our
lives, experiences and sexy adventures.

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An ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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And.

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Hello, and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today's quickie is inspired
by a message we got after

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our com compersion episode.

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Oof, I remember that one.

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Yeah.

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Someone wrote in about a dynamic
where her husband sets all the rules.

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He decides who she can
be with no single man.

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He asked her prove her partners.

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She doesn't have any rules for him.

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She experiences conversion.

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She wants him to have a great time,
but when he watched her play at

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an event and didn't get to play
himself, it brought up a lot.

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Yeah, that happens now.

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He's only comfortable
with her being with women.

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She agreed.

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Not because it's what she truly
wants, but because she loves the

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lifestyle and doesn't want it to end.

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That's right.

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So today we're talking about one-sided
rules, where they come from, what

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they protect, and what they can
quietly cost a relationship over

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time, because this dynamic is way
more common than people admit, and

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it deserves a real conversation.

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Now the listener's letter goes as
follows, your Compersion podcast.

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December 31st, I think got me thinking
about my experience in the lifestyle.

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My husband has rules that I
don't agree with, but I go

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along with it to make him happy.

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His rules are no single guys and he has to
approve the men and women I have sex with.

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I don't have any rules for him.

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When we go to events and parties,
I hope he has the best time with

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whoever he decides to be with.

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I don't care if he gets
to play and I just watch.

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I'm really easy going.

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He's a bit of the opposite.

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For example, we went to an event
where I played and he didn't.

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When we left, he expressed that he did
not like watching me play and didn't

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want me having sex with men anymore.

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He's only okay with me being with women.

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I agreed to this because I love
being in the lifestyle and I don't

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want him to end things Completely.

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Thoughts.

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Thanks in advance.

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Now this, if you're just looking at
it, it can look a little negative.

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I have so many questions.

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It can look a little negative, Matt.

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Now, you know, uh,

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okay.

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I, I understand the situation I
do too, from both standpoints.

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Yeah.

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And I get it.

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'cause, and, and I know you do.

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I do.

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So

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I can identify with her.

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I, I really understand where she's
coming from because I am with somebody

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who has a lot of rules for me.

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Yeah.

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And I'm at that point where I'm
like, okay, well I really love her.

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And

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do we know how long they've
been in the lifestyle?

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Uh, yes.

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So I, I did end up she
reached out and we spoke.

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Yeah, they've been together, I
believe, like 16 years, somewhere

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around the same amount of time as us.

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Okay.

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How long have they been in the lifestyle?

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Uh, they've been in the life, they're
very new, like a few months, I believe.

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Okay.

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Yeah,

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and they've been together for 16.

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Okay.

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So all,

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so

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this a very,

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very new

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feelings

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situation.

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So I feel like there's a lot, and
I'm only speaking from experience.

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I feel like he has a lot of insecurities.

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Which doesn't necessarily
make him a bad guy.

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It's

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not a bad thing.

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We

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not a bad thing.

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We all

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suffer from insecure.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's he's not opening up.

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And so what happens is, is he's
not opening up and then he's just

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like, so, look, we're gonna do
this, but you're gonna do this my

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way, which is probably the most
comfortable for him, but not the best.

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The lifestyle.

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Now, I, I did have, uh, an
opportunity to speak with her.

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It was an in, it was a great conversation,
and she pretty much let me know, look,

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you know, I know that this has a, a
negative tone to it, but he's actually

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an a, a really incredible husband.

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Very loving to her and to the kids.

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Yeah.

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And this sort of thing, but
this is such a new situation.

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Yeah, no,

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and uh, you know, she just
kind of wants to help.

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Understand it and figure
out where to go from here.

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So he needs a lot of reassurance.

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Like

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when you were playing with that couple
and he was watching and he didn't

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like it, were you still involving him?

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Question mark.

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And if you were still involving him,
was he involved enough to be satisfied?

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Probably not.

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Or was he just sitting back and watching?

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Because those two things really come
into play on different feelings because

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Do they?

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Yeah, because if he wasn't watching you,
if he wasn't participating, like just

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sitting back and watching, just sitting
back and watching, you're analyzing

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every touch, every look, every kiss,
every smell, everything, every moan.

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You're analyzing that as
you're sitting back watching.

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Is that right?

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Yeah.

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So I, I guess I
understand, but not really.

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And I know that you can relate
to his situation because

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that was more or less you.

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Uh, out of the two of us.

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Mm-hmm.

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I know for a fact that in the
very beginning you did not like to

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watch me with other women at all.

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No.

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And if you had your way, if
it, if you could go back to

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the Priscilla of back then

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Yeah.

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And you could set it up the way
you wanted it set up, I think you

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would've been totally okay with me.

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Not playing and literally just
watching you do your thing.

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No,

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really?

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No.

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Really?

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I would've just stuck with
more of parallel playing only

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really?

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We wouldn't have, uh, swapped at all.

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No.

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I mean, in the beginning, no.

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Yeah.

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I think that would've
probably been the best, but

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Wow.

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I I i's way off of the mark.

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Yeah.

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No, I wouldn't have want you.

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How about that?

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I wouldn't have want you to watch me.

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No.

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I want you to be involved.

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So I would just rather play with you.

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Wow.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So I feel like it's something made
him uncomfortable and until I know

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that whole part, I can't really.

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Express that.

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Well, I mean,

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but it is,

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you know, either way this is, this is
really more common than people think.

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Yes.

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This is something that comes up often.

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This comes up all the time.

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You know what's funny is where we see,
we've seen it from two different sides.

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Yes.

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We've seen it from the swinging
standpoint, which is what

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we're currently talking about.

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And obviously there are
usually insecurities that would

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make a person feel this way.

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Mm-hmm.

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But.

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We've also seen it from a polyamorous
standpoint, and that kind of

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thinking is, uh, normally comes
down to like a one penis policy

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Yeah.

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Kind of thing.

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And that's considered a
very toxic way of being.

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Yeah.

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Now I know by speaking to her
that it's not necessarily that

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he's toxic, it's that he's,

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no,

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he's just trying to figure out,

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I don't think there's anything

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how they can navigate

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this.

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I don't think there's
anything toxic about it.

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No.

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I think that, you know, your husband
just needs a little bit more attention.

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Reassurance, although reassurance.

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Yeah.

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Um, so going into situations, you know,
he needs some reassurance and a lot

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of, so like that the things that she,
that only she was playing, kind of look

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back and see the, see the situation.

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Why was that?

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Why was the, why would you know?

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Because maybe he just
needed a little bit of.

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Hey honey, I'm still here.

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Hey honey, I still want you.

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Maybe he needed a little
bit more of attention.

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Yeah.

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And you know, this is really,
this is new for both of them.

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So it, it wasn't like when we started

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No.

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Where you were more
experienced than I was.

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Yeah.

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Uh, this is brand new
for both of them, Uhhuh.

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And so in a situation like that, you
know, he gets to have his fun and

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he's experiencing playing with others.

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And she's sitting back
watching and enjoying that.

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But that's her because she

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doesn't mind that.

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Uh, and that's her, and that's her thing.

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That's not right.

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See, that wasn't

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my

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thing,

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but that's not really his thing.

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And so when he sat back and he basically,
you know, there was a, a night that.

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You know, the first night
he was very much in demand.

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Well, the second night she
was very much in demand.

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Yeah.

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And he was not.

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And so he got to see her get enjoyed
and he didn't really care for it.

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Yeah.

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And you know, it's not for everybody.

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And like I said this is
a very similar situation.

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Yeah.

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Because Adam's a very wonderful husband.

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He is a very good father.

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He is.

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He is wonderful.

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It's not like I'm lacking anything, but it
was hard for me to see him with somebody

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else and then if he did things, if he
said things or if he acted a certain way.

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I mean, damn, even to this day,

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yeah,

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I still roll my eyes.

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I have to roll my eyes at, she's
gotten better because it's like.

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Whatever.

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It's,

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whatever girl, take whatever you can.

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It's a, it's a compromise.

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It's, it's a compromise between us.

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You know, in the very beginning,
I did whatever we could to keep

260
00:09:53,907 --> 00:09:57,102
you happy and appeased because
I wanted to, you wanna, yeah.

261
00:09:57,102 --> 00:09:57,902
You lifestyle.

262
00:09:57,902 --> 00:09:58,222
Lifestyle.

263
00:09:58,242 --> 00:09:58,662
Mm-hmm.

264
00:09:58,802 --> 00:10:02,742
But at some point you have
to start growing because you

265
00:10:02,757 --> 00:10:03,147
do.

266
00:10:03,207 --> 00:10:06,177
I'm entitled to enjoy myself as well.

267
00:10:06,417 --> 00:10:07,257
Yeah, you do.

268
00:10:07,257 --> 00:10:08,637
I mean, like, you enjoyed Polly.

269
00:10:08,937 --> 00:10:09,097
I didn't.

270
00:10:09,597 --> 00:10:10,587
And that's where we were different,

271
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,357
you know, so like we have.

272
00:10:12,777 --> 00:10:15,137
But yeah, I think a little
bit it has something to do.

273
00:10:15,137 --> 00:10:18,257
If he's a good husband or not a
good husband, I think you guys

274
00:10:18,257 --> 00:10:20,837
are going to enjoy the lifestyle.

275
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:24,467
There just needs to be a little
bit more communication, um,

276
00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:25,247
over communication.

277
00:10:25,247 --> 00:10:26,282
I think they may be talking.

278
00:10:26,747 --> 00:10:28,217
I don't think that they're talking enough.

279
00:10:28,397 --> 00:10:30,017
There's a lot of.

280
00:10:30,517 --> 00:10:34,477
Differences how, you know, I mean,
honestly, you can go back, back.

281
00:10:34,837 --> 00:10:35,887
How was he raised?

282
00:10:36,127 --> 00:10:37,267
Who was around him?

283
00:10:37,477 --> 00:10:38,797
How was he in high school?

284
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:40,507
Adam lacked attention.

285
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,387
So he loves attention.

286
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:42,592
True.

287
00:10:42,597 --> 00:10:44,127
I did not lack attention.

288
00:10:44,187 --> 00:10:45,357
I don't need attention.

289
00:10:45,357 --> 00:10:46,167
I'm a total slut.

290
00:10:46,197 --> 00:10:46,497
Yeah.

291
00:10:46,557 --> 00:10:47,487
I, I was, she really is

292
00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:48,297
very selective.

293
00:10:48,417 --> 00:10:49,107
I'm very selective.

294
00:10:49,157 --> 00:10:50,327
I was a spoiled brat.

295
00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:51,617
He was not.

296
00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:51,857
No.

297
00:10:52,007 --> 00:10:54,257
So there's a lot of things
that, if you can go back.

298
00:10:54,292 --> 00:10:54,412
So

299
00:10:54,412 --> 00:10:54,852
I was a pleaser.

300
00:10:54,852 --> 00:10:55,092
Yeah.

301
00:10:55,092 --> 00:10:55,452
And I still

302
00:10:55,452 --> 00:10:55,612
am.

303
00:10:55,642 --> 00:10:55,932
Yeah.

304
00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:59,747
So like, if you can go back
and go back, figure out what's

305
00:10:59,987 --> 00:11:02,177
making him feel like that.

306
00:11:02,177 --> 00:11:06,197
If he's not opening up you know,
there's some questions you can ask him.

307
00:11:06,197 --> 00:11:07,187
I would be like.

308
00:11:07,907 --> 00:11:13,937
So, you know, hey, we, we had a little
talk about the lifestyle and you said

309
00:11:13,937 --> 00:11:16,097
you didn't really wanna see me with men.

310
00:11:16,597 --> 00:11:17,827
Can you tell me why?

311
00:11:17,857 --> 00:11:19,627
Like, how did that make you feel?

312
00:11:19,627 --> 00:11:20,887
What did it, what was it?

313
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:25,957
Because then you're gonna have in your
mind, okay, when I go play with somebody.

314
00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:29,872
Adam's gonna feel a certain
way, and I already know why

315
00:11:29,872 --> 00:11:31,042
he's gonna feel a certain way.

316
00:11:31,042 --> 00:11:33,562
So I'm gonna be like, Hey, I love you.

317
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:36,412
You know, you're like my
favorite person to have sex with.

318
00:11:36,472 --> 00:11:38,362
And reassure, reassure, reassure,

319
00:11:38,457 --> 00:11:38,537
reassure.

320
00:11:38,537 --> 00:11:38,547
Yeah,

321
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:39,712
kiss.

322
00:11:39,712 --> 00:11:42,382
Do whatever he loves, whatever he wants.

323
00:11:42,442 --> 00:11:45,772
And that moment, and then
slowly ease your way into it.

324
00:11:46,612 --> 00:11:47,992
You don't always have to play.

325
00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:49,537
You don't always have play.

326
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:50,647
You don't always have to play.

327
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:55,927
Maybe kind of step back a little bit
and do more of parallel play or do

328
00:11:55,927 --> 00:11:56,017
more.

329
00:11:56,017 --> 00:11:56,647
Exactly.

330
00:11:56,647 --> 00:11:56,917
Yeah.

331
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:57,427
Actually watch more the watch.

332
00:11:57,427 --> 00:11:58,717
That's a really good point.

333
00:11:58,717 --> 00:11:59,167
Yeah.

334
00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:04,147
Lawyer, you know, in situations like that
where maybe he's not feeling the vibe.

335
00:12:04,147 --> 00:12:04,157
Mm-hmm.

336
00:12:04,812 --> 00:12:06,582
Or, you know, that sort of thing.

337
00:12:06,822 --> 00:12:10,872
Maybe just focus on each other and play
in front of each other in front of others,

338
00:12:10,872 --> 00:12:13,182
or play at the party with each other.

339
00:12:13,182 --> 00:12:15,072
You know, you don't have to
play with everybody else.

340
00:12:15,072 --> 00:12:16,392
The act itself is hot.

341
00:12:16,392 --> 00:12:17,502
The act itself is hot.

342
00:12:17,502 --> 00:12:21,762
And just over, like you said, over
communicate, like really talk it out.

343
00:12:22,632 --> 00:12:25,122
I was exactly like your husband.

344
00:12:25,242 --> 00:12:27,222
I totally understand.

345
00:12:27,577 --> 00:12:29,917
And I'm a, I feel I'm a great wife.

346
00:12:29,947 --> 00:12:32,377
Like I have no problem
admitting I'm a great wife.

347
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:33,007
I'm a great mom.

348
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:33,217
Mm-hmm.

349
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:37,477
There's just certain things that just
made me feel like I wanted to keep

350
00:12:37,477 --> 00:12:41,677
to myself, which is not, which is
impossible to do in the lifestyle.

351
00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:45,877
I can't tell Adam, don't
fuck her like that.

352
00:12:45,937 --> 00:12:48,277
'cause that's the way you fuck me, homie.

353
00:12:48,277 --> 00:12:49,717
Doesn't have a lot of moves.

354
00:12:50,347 --> 00:12:51,577
Ah, I got like three moves at best.

355
00:12:51,577 --> 00:12:53,047
Like we have, what am I gonna do?

356
00:12:53,047 --> 00:12:54,727
Exceptionally fun sex.

357
00:12:54,787 --> 00:12:56,077
I'm not gonna go and tell him.

358
00:12:56,437 --> 00:12:58,177
Hey, you can't do, oh, he's gonna be out.

359
00:12:58,677 --> 00:12:58,917
Yeah.

360
00:12:59,007 --> 00:12:59,787
You're gonna be like, what?

361
00:12:59,907 --> 00:13:02,487
I'll be like, well, I can just
stand here and just watch them.

362
00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:02,662
Yeah.

363
00:13:02,732 --> 00:13:03,022
Okay.

364
00:13:03,202 --> 00:13:06,867
Or you can, is it always fun
to watch him with other women?

365
00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:07,587
No.

366
00:13:07,592 --> 00:13:07,882
No.

367
00:13:07,882 --> 00:13:08,272
You know what?

368
00:13:08,272 --> 00:13:12,422
I'm glad that you rounded back to
that because that was actually the the

369
00:13:12,427 --> 00:13:14,252
home base that I wanted to round to.

370
00:13:14,312 --> 00:13:14,432
Yeah.

371
00:13:14,852 --> 00:13:17,792
You said something earlier that
I found quite interesting and.

372
00:13:18,292 --> 00:13:21,862
You did not like watching me.

373
00:13:21,982 --> 00:13:22,342
Yeah.

374
00:13:22,342 --> 00:13:22,747
With others.

375
00:13:23,032 --> 00:13:23,332
Yeah.

376
00:13:23,662 --> 00:13:24,532
Like it just,

377
00:13:25,192 --> 00:13:26,662
it tore me apart.

378
00:13:26,662 --> 00:13:28,312
So can you, can you go into that?

379
00:13:28,312 --> 00:13:30,472
Because we've never really,
really discussed that before.

380
00:13:30,472 --> 00:13:31,912
I, so what was it about that?

381
00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:32,307
Everything.

382
00:13:32,307 --> 00:13:33,202
Like what was the problem?

383
00:13:33,202 --> 00:13:36,082
If you moaned a certain way,
I was like, Ugh, what is she

384
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,582
doing to him that I don't do?

385
00:13:37,762 --> 00:13:37,852
And

386
00:13:37,882 --> 00:13:38,842
he's moaning like that.

387
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:39,112
Yeah.

388
00:13:39,232 --> 00:13:40,102
He came fast.

389
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:43,042
What is she doing that I
didn't make him do that.

390
00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:43,107
Yeah.

391
00:13:43,487 --> 00:13:44,187
So I would,

392
00:13:44,687 --> 00:13:45,327
there was things like that,
that was literally a thing.

393
00:13:45,362 --> 00:13:47,702
I remember one specifically.

394
00:13:47,782 --> 00:13:51,732
We had a girl come over to the
house and she, she gave me head.

395
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,152
Sh I came very fast.

396
00:13:54,157 --> 00:13:54,227
Mm-hmm.

397
00:13:54,452 --> 00:13:55,232
Very fast.

398
00:13:55,732 --> 00:13:58,162
You didn't act different that
entire time until it was time

399
00:13:58,162 --> 00:13:59,337
for her to come to go home.

400
00:13:59,337 --> 00:13:59,617
Mm-hmm.

401
00:13:59,722 --> 00:14:02,962
And when she left, then you came to
me and you were like, so what was.

402
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:03,932
What was the deal like?

403
00:14:03,932 --> 00:14:04,652
What was she, what did she do?

404
00:14:04,652 --> 00:14:05,092
This so was good.

405
00:14:05,092 --> 00:14:05,132
What did she do?

406
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,182
And it wasn't like a, an I'm interested.

407
00:14:08,302 --> 00:14:08,572
No.

408
00:14:08,572 --> 00:14:10,552
Let me figure out how
to better please you.

409
00:14:10,552 --> 00:14:11,242
Situation.

410
00:14:11,242 --> 00:14:13,282
No, it was a okay motherfucker.

411
00:14:13,912 --> 00:14:14,932
What did she do?

412
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:15,262
Yeah.

413
00:14:15,502 --> 00:14:17,212
And why didn't you do that with me?

414
00:14:17,212 --> 00:14:17,222
Yeah.

415
00:14:17,272 --> 00:14:18,502
The last time I gave you head.

416
00:14:18,502 --> 00:14:19,312
And I was like, oh shit.

417
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:19,647
And we

418
00:14:19,647 --> 00:14:25,612
had probably a few more episodes
of me coming at him like that.

419
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:26,297
A bit aggressive.

420
00:14:26,577 --> 00:14:27,292
A bit aggressive, a bit aggressive.

421
00:14:27,892 --> 00:14:31,582
And then he's really good
about talking me off the.

422
00:14:32,082 --> 00:14:33,522
Let go of the trigger bitch.

423
00:14:34,022 --> 00:14:34,322
Yeah.

424
00:14:34,502 --> 00:14:36,152
Let me explain this to you.

425
00:14:36,152 --> 00:14:36,392
Yeah.

426
00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:36,542
It's

427
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:36,692
very

428
00:14:37,172 --> 00:14:38,067
Ray Liotta.

429
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:38,627
Goodfellas.

430
00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:39,332
Yeah.

431
00:14:39,332 --> 00:14:45,272
So, you know, he's like, I would then,
we would probably argue about it.

432
00:14:46,202 --> 00:14:48,362
It would probably be the
very, very heated discussion.

433
00:14:48,692 --> 00:14:48,812
Yeah.

434
00:14:48,812 --> 00:14:52,802
And then after that I would figure
it out in my head, be like, okay,

435
00:14:52,802 --> 00:14:54,392
so it's the way I'm asking him.

436
00:14:54,892 --> 00:14:56,842
Why is that making me feel so insecure?

437
00:14:56,842 --> 00:15:00,892
He would to then tell me, oh,
well she did this and this is why.

438
00:15:00,952 --> 00:15:02,452
And of course it's someone different.

439
00:15:02,482 --> 00:15:04,162
It's gonna make them come fast, right.

440
00:15:04,432 --> 00:15:05,182
For the most part.

441
00:15:05,812 --> 00:15:09,772
And he would tell me, well, she did
this with her tongue or she did this.

442
00:15:09,772 --> 00:15:10,912
And I'd be like, okay.

443
00:15:11,572 --> 00:15:12,712
Or I'm gonna do it better.

444
00:15:13,462 --> 00:15:13,702
Yeah.

445
00:15:14,002 --> 00:15:16,602
And so it's the communication.

446
00:15:16,602 --> 00:15:20,112
It's the way he comes, it's the
way we come at our partners.

447
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:24,402
We have to be okay with
feeling that uncomfortable.

448
00:15:24,402 --> 00:15:26,292
And it's really hard for people.

449
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:31,392
I feel like it's really hard for
men too, because they have a lot

450
00:15:31,392 --> 00:15:34,452
of size insecurities and a lot of

451
00:15:34,452 --> 00:15:35,142
bro Yes.

452
00:15:35,232 --> 00:15:39,432
Insecurities of about pleasing women
because we are so hard to please.

453
00:15:40,062 --> 00:15:40,272
That's

454
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:40,452
true.

455
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:43,902
Um, we're not an easy being to please.

456
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,002
We're not, we're super selective.

457
00:15:46,002 --> 00:15:48,612
So for a man to fulfill us.

458
00:15:49,002 --> 00:15:52,842
Is pretty amazing.

459
00:15:53,442 --> 00:15:56,352
And so he probably feels
really insecure about that.

460
00:15:56,682 --> 00:15:59,112
I mean, it could be, and it really
could be any number of things.

461
00:15:59,232 --> 00:15:59,322
Yeah.

462
00:15:59,652 --> 00:16:02,862
But really you need to sit down.

463
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,872
You need to have the
uncomfortable conversation.

464
00:16:04,872 --> 00:16:06,582
There is nothing comfortable about it.

465
00:16:07,152 --> 00:16:10,722
But I guarantee you, you both
will learn a lot more about

466
00:16:10,722 --> 00:16:12,702
each other in that conversation.

467
00:16:12,762 --> 00:16:13,272
Yeah.

468
00:16:13,332 --> 00:16:17,072
Like, you're gonna learn some
incredible things and whether or not

469
00:16:17,072 --> 00:16:19,892
you take to them is a different story.

470
00:16:20,222 --> 00:16:20,612
Yeah.

471
00:16:21,112 --> 00:16:22,552
And I, I have to mention something.

472
00:16:22,552 --> 00:16:25,282
I don't know if this is your
situation, but I'm just gonna say

473
00:16:25,342 --> 00:16:27,892
situations come up when this happens.

474
00:16:28,342 --> 00:16:34,492
If both of y'all are drinking or there's
some kind of elevation and you're playing.

475
00:16:35,257 --> 00:16:39,187
Things like that come up, feelings
that don't need to be, feelings that

476
00:16:39,187 --> 00:16:41,047
usually don't ever come up pop up

477
00:16:41,317 --> 00:16:41,617
Oh, yeah.

478
00:16:41,677 --> 00:16:43,117
When you're elevated, so Totally,

479
00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:43,807
totally.

480
00:16:43,927 --> 00:16:48,457
You know, kind of sit back and
unfortunately one of y'all has

481
00:16:48,457 --> 00:16:52,137
to be the bigger person and be
like, all right, let's figure

482
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,927
out what's making him trigger.

483
00:16:53,987 --> 00:16:54,407
So

484
00:16:54,887 --> 00:16:57,317
yeah, that's really what
it comes down to is, yeah.

485
00:16:57,322 --> 00:16:57,402
I mean.

486
00:16:57,902 --> 00:16:58,922
It's communication.

487
00:16:58,952 --> 00:16:59,492
It is.

488
00:16:59,582 --> 00:16:59,822
Yeah.

489
00:16:59,822 --> 00:17:02,402
And, and I know that we say this
all the time, and there's a reason

490
00:17:02,402 --> 00:17:03,482
why we say this all the time.

491
00:17:03,752 --> 00:17:07,672
If you're not if it feels like
you're doing too much, then

492
00:17:07,672 --> 00:17:08,782
you're doing the right amount.

493
00:17:08,992 --> 00:17:09,232
Yeah.

494
00:17:09,412 --> 00:17:11,512
If it feels like a
parody of itself mm-hmm.

495
00:17:11,752 --> 00:17:14,902
If it's like, man, I'm, I'm
overdoing this, but here, whatever.

496
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:16,672
You're doing it the right way.

497
00:17:16,972 --> 00:17:17,752
That is.

498
00:17:18,502 --> 00:17:20,032
Lifestyle and vanilla.

499
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:20,392
Mm-hmm.

500
00:17:20,752 --> 00:17:22,492
That's just relationships, bro.

501
00:17:22,712 --> 00:17:26,282
You really, really have to work
through it and you have to be

502
00:17:26,282 --> 00:17:28,172
the more patient one while one

503
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:28,772
of y'all does.

504
00:17:28,772 --> 00:17:28,832
Yeah.

505
00:17:28,832 --> 00:17:33,942
While he figures out his footing in
this whole thing it, your patients

506
00:17:33,942 --> 00:17:35,502
may get tested at times with it.

507
00:17:35,502 --> 00:17:40,392
Sometimes I have days where
I'm like, dude, what about me?

508
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:40,782
Yeah.

509
00:17:40,782 --> 00:17:41,592
You know what I mean?

510
00:17:41,592 --> 00:17:43,302
Like, I don't wanna be that guy.

511
00:17:43,452 --> 00:17:43,542
Yes.

512
00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:45,687
But there are some times
where I'm just like, dude.

513
00:17:46,187 --> 00:17:47,207
Gimme a fucking break.

514
00:17:47,297 --> 00:17:47,627
Yeah.

515
00:17:47,727 --> 00:17:48,777
I want to have fun too.

516
00:17:48,897 --> 00:17:49,167
Yeah.

517
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:54,507
And when that happens, it comes
out and if I hold it in, it's

518
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,607
gonna probably spur resentment.

519
00:17:56,787 --> 00:17:56,847
Yeah.

520
00:17:56,847 --> 00:17:57,447
I don't hold it in.

521
00:17:57,867 --> 00:17:59,687
I say it and you know,

522
00:18:00,137 --> 00:18:00,872
and you know your husband.

523
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:03,082
I don't have a husband,
but I know my wife.

524
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,682
But no, like her, she knows her husband.

525
00:18:05,682 --> 00:18:06,402
Yes, exactly.

526
00:18:06,402 --> 00:18:06,762
So they've

527
00:18:06,762 --> 00:18:07,752
been together a long time.

528
00:18:07,757 --> 00:18:10,722
Like, you know, you know your partner,
your, you know your partner, you know

529
00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:16,207
how to talk to your partner, you know
how to approach your partner, and it

530
00:18:16,707 --> 00:18:20,697
could be during a nice little intimate
moment, brushing your teeth while you're

531
00:18:20,697 --> 00:18:22,587
showering, whatever y'all do together.

532
00:18:22,587 --> 00:18:23,037
Right.

533
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:27,147
Bring up that subject and
be like, so, hey, I just.

534
00:18:28,062 --> 00:18:31,182
I really love the lifestyle, but
I really wanna like talk about

535
00:18:31,182 --> 00:18:34,392
some things and I feel like we
really need to like discuss it.

536
00:18:34,752 --> 00:18:36,882
Bring it up as many times as you want.

537
00:18:36,942 --> 00:18:37,212
Yeah.

538
00:18:37,212 --> 00:18:39,042
And see if you could schedule the talk.

539
00:18:39,072 --> 00:18:39,732
Yeah,

540
00:18:40,002 --> 00:18:41,202
schedule the talk.

541
00:18:41,262 --> 00:18:42,192
Make it fun.

542
00:18:42,192 --> 00:18:43,092
Make it fun.

543
00:18:43,092 --> 00:18:43,137
You can

544
00:18:43,137 --> 00:18:43,217
make

545
00:18:43,217 --> 00:18:43,297
it fun.

546
00:18:43,302 --> 00:18:46,782
Go out on a date, go have pizza
and have the conversation.

547
00:18:46,872 --> 00:18:46,932
Yeah.

548
00:18:46,962 --> 00:18:49,332
And be like, it's uncomfortable guys.

549
00:18:49,332 --> 00:18:50,022
I know.

550
00:18:50,232 --> 00:18:51,312
It is uncomfortable.

551
00:18:51,312 --> 00:18:52,692
It's, I am that person.

552
00:18:52,722 --> 00:18:54,102
I am the.

553
00:18:54,897 --> 00:18:58,977
Damn, this made me feel really
uncomfortable and having to tell

554
00:18:58,977 --> 00:19:00,897
him and he'll help me work it out.

555
00:19:01,547 --> 00:19:04,887
And sometimes I don't like his
answer and then I'm like nevermind.

556
00:19:05,097 --> 00:19:05,992
I'll just figure this out myself.

557
00:19:06,972 --> 00:19:09,162
But at least we had the conversation,

558
00:19:09,522 --> 00:19:13,692
um, you know what I found interesting
was when I had spoken to her about it

559
00:19:14,212 --> 00:19:18,472
she had mentioned something that reminded
me of you back when we were poly and

560
00:19:18,472 --> 00:19:21,952
you had said that you didn't wanna be
poly anymore and you were afraid that

561
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,412
it was gonna break up our marriage.

562
00:19:23,532 --> 00:19:23,772
Right.

563
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:26,892
And I, that information shocked
the hell outta me because I thought

564
00:19:26,892 --> 00:19:28,332
that we had a great relationship.

565
00:19:28,332 --> 00:19:28,392
Yeah.

566
00:19:28,392 --> 00:19:32,427
And I always knew that if you didn't
want this life, I was willing to.

567
00:19:32,927 --> 00:19:35,027
Prioritize our relationship over anything.

568
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:38,027
And so that, I knew that
wasn't an, an issue.

569
00:19:38,207 --> 00:19:38,327
Right.

570
00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:38,957
But you didn't.

571
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:43,157
Her situation is kind of the
same in that she doesn't know

572
00:19:43,657 --> 00:19:45,367
how it's gonna affect him.

573
00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:48,977
Like, you know, what if, what
if he doesn't wanna be in

574
00:19:48,977 --> 00:19:50,327
the lifestyle and she does.

575
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,097
'cause she really enjoys
it and that sort of thing.

576
00:19:52,097 --> 00:19:54,187
And it's like, well, have
you talked to him about it?

577
00:19:54,187 --> 00:19:54,967
And it's like, well, no.

578
00:19:55,537 --> 00:19:57,427
Well, you need to take a chance.

579
00:19:57,607 --> 00:19:57,847
Yeah.

580
00:19:57,847 --> 00:20:00,247
You know, you've been on, you've
been with this person a long time.

581
00:20:00,247 --> 00:20:01,177
You know how they are.

582
00:20:01,177 --> 00:20:03,637
You know how they feel, how they think.

583
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:04,767
Trust that.

584
00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:09,047
What you think their reaction is
gonna be is gonna be their reaction.

585
00:20:09,047 --> 00:20:09,107
Yeah.

586
00:20:09,232 --> 00:20:10,447
And, and trust that,

587
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:10,957
yeah,

588
00:20:10,957 --> 00:20:13,687
trust that it's not gonna be the
worst case scenario because you

589
00:20:13,687 --> 00:20:15,157
love them and because they love you.

590
00:20:15,497 --> 00:20:17,177
Give them a little bit of extra credit.

591
00:20:17,177 --> 00:20:18,107
I, I, I, I think I

592
00:20:18,107 --> 00:20:18,767
give them, yeah.

593
00:20:18,797 --> 00:20:20,207
I asked for that so many times.

594
00:20:20,207 --> 00:20:20,927
For so many years.

595
00:20:20,927 --> 00:20:22,127
I was like, dude, give some credit.

596
00:20:22,577 --> 00:20:23,207
I'm here.

597
00:20:23,237 --> 00:20:23,897
I love you.

598
00:20:23,897 --> 00:20:25,187
Like, we have this life together.

599
00:20:25,187 --> 00:20:26,807
And it takes, it takes a long time.

600
00:20:26,887 --> 00:20:28,237
It's just, it's a lot of work.

601
00:20:28,237 --> 00:20:29,347
It's a lot of reassurance.

602
00:20:29,347 --> 00:20:29,917
And if you're

603
00:20:29,917 --> 00:20:29,927
mm-hmm.

604
00:20:30,817 --> 00:20:33,457
It feels like you're willing to
put in the work and you know,

605
00:20:33,957 --> 00:20:38,057
I know that you like the lifestyle
and it's fun, but you don't have

606
00:20:38,057 --> 00:20:39,707
to step away, just talk to him.

607
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:43,007
And if it does come down to leaving
the lifestyle, it is what it is.

608
00:20:43,007 --> 00:20:43,397
Right.

609
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:44,957
It's life.

610
00:20:45,197 --> 00:20:48,082
I mean, it's your relationship
prioritized over everything else.

611
00:20:48,082 --> 00:20:48,362
Mm-hmm.

612
00:20:48,862 --> 00:20:49,432
For us.

613
00:20:49,432 --> 00:20:50,992
That's the way it always was.

614
00:20:50,992 --> 00:20:56,212
You know, I, I may be non-monogamous
by nature as far back as I can

615
00:20:56,212 --> 00:20:58,672
remember, but for this woman.

616
00:20:59,122 --> 00:21:03,952
I would be monogamous any day of the week
if she asked for it, because it's our

617
00:21:03,952 --> 00:21:06,682
relationship that is my 100% priority.

618
00:21:06,712 --> 00:21:06,772
Yeah.

619
00:21:06,772 --> 00:21:09,442
Now not to say that's, that's
not the same for everybody.

620
00:21:09,592 --> 00:21:09,802
Yeah.

621
00:21:09,832 --> 00:21:12,802
There's others out there that have
several different relationships and

622
00:21:12,802 --> 00:21:15,142
prior prioritize them all similar

623
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:15,712
and

624
00:21:15,952 --> 00:21:17,152
you know, you just never know.

625
00:21:17,272 --> 00:21:17,752
Yeah.

626
00:21:17,752 --> 00:21:18,952
But that's our situation.

627
00:21:18,952 --> 00:21:19,792
That's our situation.

628
00:21:19,942 --> 00:21:24,832
You also mentioned something that it's
not your preference to only be with

629
00:21:24,832 --> 00:21:26,632
women and not to have sex with men.

630
00:21:27,132 --> 00:21:32,202
For me, that's a really big one,
and I'm not, I don't wanna make

631
00:21:32,202 --> 00:21:36,162
your husband feel like you know he's
the bad person because he is not.

632
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:39,582
He is just wanting something
different than you, but you're

633
00:21:39,582 --> 00:21:41,702
not, you're not good with that.

634
00:21:42,202 --> 00:21:42,622
I would.

635
00:21:43,122 --> 00:21:44,712
Express that to him.

636
00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:48,522
And again, if it means leaving
the lifestyle because he's not on

637
00:21:48,522 --> 00:21:51,222
your side for it, then it is what
it is and I know that you like

638
00:21:51,222 --> 00:21:52,602
it and it's, it makes you happy.

639
00:21:52,602 --> 00:21:55,932
But someone is making you do
something you don't wanna do.

640
00:21:56,432 --> 00:21:57,002
Possibly.

641
00:21:57,032 --> 00:21:57,632
I mean,

642
00:21:57,842 --> 00:21:58,262
possibly.

643
00:21:58,292 --> 00:22:03,652
What if you said to him, Hey, I
only want you to have oral sex.

644
00:22:04,207 --> 00:22:07,747
Only oral sex, only a and with woman
I prove could only give you oral sex.

645
00:22:07,957 --> 00:22:11,017
You cannot give it to her
and only people that I want.

646
00:22:11,377 --> 00:22:12,427
He wouldn't like that.

647
00:22:12,977 --> 00:22:13,877
Yeah, it's very restraining

648
00:22:13,937 --> 00:22:14,447
now.

649
00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:16,097
I am, I'm Latina.

650
00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:21,017
I am very all about my
man and whatever you want.

651
00:22:21,017 --> 00:22:22,097
Whatever you need

652
00:22:22,247 --> 00:22:22,517
really.

653
00:22:23,017 --> 00:22:26,617
I'm also an adult and I know
when I have to stop doing that.

654
00:22:26,917 --> 00:22:30,307
So it kind of, you have to
find that middle ground.

655
00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:33,097
Like, yeah, he's your man and
yeah, you wanna make him happy,

656
00:22:33,547 --> 00:22:35,847
but this is your life too.

657
00:22:36,347 --> 00:22:36,887
Yeah, I

658
00:22:36,887 --> 00:22:37,217
know.

659
00:22:37,217 --> 00:22:38,027
Like this is your life

660
00:22:38,027 --> 00:22:38,087
too.

661
00:22:38,087 --> 00:22:42,017
Realistically, your feelings are just as
valid as his, uh, you know, you have to.

662
00:22:42,517 --> 00:22:45,727
Be able to express both of your sides.

663
00:22:45,727 --> 00:22:45,817
Mm-hmm.

664
00:22:46,057 --> 00:22:49,507
100% without judgment and be
able to come to a compromise.

665
00:22:49,507 --> 00:22:53,427
Now also hear this, you
don't have to go very fast.

666
00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:53,667
No.

667
00:22:54,167 --> 00:22:55,307
You can go slow.

668
00:22:55,547 --> 00:22:56,687
You can take your time.

669
00:22:56,927 --> 00:22:59,537
You can have one experience a year.

670
00:23:00,037 --> 00:23:03,817
Work through the entire experience
throughout the entire ye

671
00:23:03,817 --> 00:23:04,207
Yeah.

672
00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:08,557
You don't have to keep up with
the Joneses and play twice a

673
00:23:08,557 --> 00:23:10,537
month or once a month or whatever.

674
00:23:10,837 --> 00:23:13,727
Uh, you, you think is the right way.

675
00:23:14,327 --> 00:23:17,447
You can play as often as
once every couple of years.

676
00:23:17,452 --> 00:23:17,542
Mm-hmm.

677
00:23:17,867 --> 00:23:19,427
It's whatever you want.

678
00:23:19,427 --> 00:23:23,887
It's however y'all dictate
this is your life and it's how.

679
00:23:24,427 --> 00:23:26,197
It's how you, you wanna swing.

680
00:23:26,197 --> 00:23:27,877
It's how you wanna make it out to be.

681
00:23:28,057 --> 00:23:28,657
You know what I mean?

682
00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:33,047
So if it's something that he struggles
with and it's something that you

683
00:23:33,047 --> 00:23:36,827
guys really need to spend more time
talking about, then take your time.

684
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:36,972
Mm-hmm.

685
00:23:37,052 --> 00:23:37,372
Talk about.

686
00:23:37,372 --> 00:23:37,772
Mm-hmm.

687
00:23:37,857 --> 00:23:39,557
You know, because all you got is time.

688
00:23:40,007 --> 00:23:42,437
You know, you, you sit
down, you figure it out.

689
00:23:42,437 --> 00:23:44,717
It's better to figure it out before.

690
00:23:45,242 --> 00:23:46,622
Anything bad happens.

691
00:23:46,712 --> 00:23:46,982
Yeah.

692
00:23:47,162 --> 00:23:50,462
Rather than rush into something,
have something bad happen and then

693
00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:52,412
have to do the cleanup talks Exactly.

694
00:23:52,442 --> 00:23:53,162
Afterwards.

695
00:23:53,192 --> 00:23:53,612
Exactly.

696
00:23:53,612 --> 00:23:55,712
Because that toothpaste is
already out of the tube.

697
00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:56,072
Yeah.

698
00:23:56,162 --> 00:23:56,942
You know what I'm saying?

699
00:23:56,942 --> 00:23:58,022
You can't undo that.

700
00:23:58,802 --> 00:23:59,162
Yeah.

701
00:23:59,192 --> 00:24:01,022
So whatever's been
done, you can't undo it.

702
00:24:01,522 --> 00:24:02,337
It goes slow.

703
00:24:02,877 --> 00:24:02,997
You

704
00:24:02,997 --> 00:24:04,582
can a little slower, a little slower.

705
00:24:04,922 --> 00:24:05,902
Um, little slower.

706
00:24:06,597 --> 00:24:08,517
So a lot of key points.

707
00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:10,532
One, talk about it.

708
00:24:11,252 --> 00:24:12,782
Bring it up in a conversation.

709
00:24:12,782 --> 00:24:13,992
Yeah, two.

710
00:24:14,882 --> 00:24:18,692
Don't be intoxicated when y'all are
playing or when you're about to play,

711
00:24:18,692 --> 00:24:23,582
or even when you have this conversation
because it's not, it's gonna blurry.

712
00:24:23,582 --> 00:24:28,452
It's gonna blur those lines and you're
not gonna, want to, it's gonna escalate

713
00:24:28,482 --> 00:24:30,102
the situation and not make it fun.

714
00:24:30,132 --> 00:24:30,462
Yeah.

715
00:24:30,462 --> 00:24:33,192
The lifestyle works better
when it's a collaboration.

716
00:24:33,552 --> 00:24:33,762
Yes.

717
00:24:33,762 --> 00:24:35,892
Rather than having to ask for permission.

718
00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:37,182
Yes, yes.

719
00:24:37,242 --> 00:24:37,872
I love that.

720
00:24:38,262 --> 00:24:39,192
Don't ignore it.

721
00:24:39,582 --> 00:24:40,602
I wouldn't ignore it.

722
00:24:40,872 --> 00:24:44,622
You really need to come up and you
need to make him understand, or both

723
00:24:44,622 --> 00:24:47,172
of y'all need to understand that
y'all's feelings are both valid.

724
00:24:47,382 --> 00:24:47,562
Yeah.

725
00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:50,892
There's no if, ands, or buts,
your feelings are valid.

726
00:24:51,492 --> 00:24:55,272
If you don't wanna do something you don't
wanna do, you shouldn't have to do it.

727
00:24:55,842 --> 00:24:58,362
Consequences, whatever
they may be afterwards.

728
00:24:58,362 --> 00:24:59,022
It is what it is.

729
00:24:59,022 --> 00:25:01,932
It's your relationship and it
seems like you love him and it

730
00:25:01,932 --> 00:25:03,222
seems like y'all are having fun.

731
00:25:03,222 --> 00:25:03,462
But

732
00:25:03,962 --> 00:25:04,652
now I wanna have

733
00:25:04,652 --> 00:25:04,922
slow,

734
00:25:05,072 --> 00:25:07,472
I wanna have a, a quick
pris and adam moment here.

735
00:25:07,502 --> 00:25:12,387
'cause I was thinking about something
because early on we've worked up

736
00:25:12,407 --> 00:25:14,552
to the freedom that I have now.

737
00:25:14,552 --> 00:25:15,272
This is not.

738
00:25:15,767 --> 00:25:19,277
Something that I had right away,
being able to say the things that

739
00:25:19,277 --> 00:25:22,457
I can say and check out women in
front of my wife and things like

740
00:25:22,457 --> 00:25:25,337
that, like this has been a thing.

741
00:25:25,517 --> 00:25:30,767
Now I can easily tell my wife and
she finds it hot if I tell her, oh,

742
00:25:30,767 --> 00:25:32,657
I, I really want to fuck so-and-so.

743
00:25:32,712 --> 00:25:36,192
And I kind of paint that picture
for her and she frigging loves

744
00:25:36,192 --> 00:25:37,242
it and she gets off to it.

745
00:25:37,242 --> 00:25:40,802
It's hot, but there's no way that
that could have been the case.

746
00:25:41,447 --> 00:25:42,437
Years back.

747
00:25:42,437 --> 00:25:42,857
No.

748
00:25:43,337 --> 00:25:43,877
No way.

749
00:25:44,327 --> 00:25:49,247
So if you revert back to the
Priscilla of that time when we first

750
00:25:49,247 --> 00:25:50,747
started, maybe year number two.

751
00:25:51,257 --> 00:25:55,847
And I went up to you and I said,
Hey you know, uh, so and so,

752
00:25:55,947 --> 00:25:57,027
that tick that you work with, he.

753
00:25:57,527 --> 00:26:00,317
I want to fuck her so fucking bad.

754
00:26:00,417 --> 00:26:02,517
What is your internal reaction?

755
00:26:02,517 --> 00:26:03,687
How are you feeling there?

756
00:26:04,067 --> 00:26:07,457
Not your external reaction, not, not
how you're gonna react at me, because

757
00:26:07,697 --> 00:26:08,837
I already have an idea my blood is

758
00:26:08,837 --> 00:26:09,707
boiling inside of,

759
00:26:09,707 --> 00:26:13,697
but I wanna know, as you're hearing
those words, what are you feeling in

760
00:26:14,567 --> 00:26:15,827
this motherfucker?

761
00:26:15,852 --> 00:26:16,142
Yeah.

762
00:26:16,692 --> 00:26:16,982
Yeah.

763
00:26:17,177 --> 00:26:18,407
My blood is boiling.

764
00:26:18,647 --> 00:26:18,917
Yeah.

765
00:26:19,127 --> 00:26:19,337
Yeah.

766
00:26:19,437 --> 00:26:22,977
And so as you're, you're
feeling that, what would be your

767
00:26:22,977 --> 00:26:24,387
external reaction towards me?

768
00:26:24,777 --> 00:26:25,077
Yeah.

769
00:26:25,077 --> 00:26:27,527
No, no, sorry.

770
00:26:28,217 --> 00:26:29,147
Very reactive.

771
00:26:29,147 --> 00:26:29,507
No,

772
00:26:29,597 --> 00:26:29,987
no.

773
00:26:30,827 --> 00:26:31,697
That was then.

774
00:26:32,297 --> 00:26:37,627
Now we're talking about, now if I go
up to you and I say, Hey, you know

775
00:26:37,897 --> 00:26:39,847
your coworker's fucking hot, man.

776
00:26:39,847 --> 00:26:42,457
I tell you what, I had this
daydream about her the other day,

777
00:26:42,457 --> 00:26:43,857
and I, I had to come to it like,

778
00:26:43,857 --> 00:26:44,097
yeah,

779
00:26:44,307 --> 00:26:46,737
I was just, let me tell you about it.

780
00:26:47,187 --> 00:26:49,287
What would be your internal reaction?

781
00:26:49,787 --> 00:26:50,417
Honestly.

782
00:26:50,917 --> 00:26:52,297
I'd probably laugh internally.

783
00:26:52,387 --> 00:26:52,447
Yeah.

784
00:26:52,447 --> 00:26:54,457
Be like, okay, whatever.

785
00:26:54,787 --> 00:26:56,557
And what would be your external reaction?

786
00:26:56,947 --> 00:26:57,667
That's good, baby.

787
00:26:57,667 --> 00:26:58,657
Keep it in your Spank bank.

788
00:26:59,157 --> 00:26:59,317
Yeah, man.

789
00:26:59,317 --> 00:26:59,512
Yeah.

790
00:26:59,667 --> 00:27:04,257
You see we've come a long way in the years
that we've been in this, and that's, yeah.

791
00:27:04,287 --> 00:27:07,287
Really the point here is you
guys are just starting out there.

792
00:27:08,142 --> 00:27:10,812
Is going to be uncomfortable times.

793
00:27:10,812 --> 00:27:13,182
Yes, we're gonna have
uncomfortable conversations.

794
00:27:13,422 --> 00:27:14,502
It is what it is.

795
00:27:14,502 --> 00:27:18,042
It doesn't mean that you're doing it
wrong, it just means that you're trying

796
00:27:18,042 --> 00:27:22,992
to figure things out as a couple, that you
love each other, you care about each other

797
00:27:22,992 --> 00:27:28,332
enough to put this extra time in to figure
out how we're gonna do this together.

798
00:27:28,452 --> 00:27:28,692
Yes,

799
00:27:28,842 --> 00:27:31,272
and I think that's the
biggest point of them all.

800
00:27:31,272 --> 00:27:34,482
Don't ever forget that your
relationship is your priority.

801
00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:34,527
Mm-hmm.

802
00:27:35,412 --> 00:27:35,922
Okay.

803
00:27:36,042 --> 00:27:36,582
That's true.

804
00:27:36,852 --> 00:27:40,332
Now, before we wrap this up,
we do wanna let you guys know

805
00:27:40,332 --> 00:27:41,652
what we have coming up first.

806
00:27:41,862 --> 00:27:48,102
We're hosting another live SDC webinar
on February 22nd at 4:00 PM Central.

807
00:27:48,432 --> 00:27:49,902
So mark your calendars on that.

808
00:27:50,142 --> 00:27:54,342
The topic is finding and vetting
couples from profiles to first meet.

809
00:27:54,842 --> 00:27:55,382
Without the cr.

810
00:27:55,882 --> 00:27:56,092
Yeah.

811
00:27:56,272 --> 00:27:59,752
So if you're new, curious, or
just tired of awkward lifestyle

812
00:27:59,752 --> 00:28:01,372
experiences, this one is for you.

813
00:28:01,762 --> 00:28:02,182
Yes.

814
00:28:02,902 --> 00:28:07,762
And we're also going to be at Club Eden
in DFW this Saturday, January 31st.

815
00:28:07,762 --> 00:28:09,412
So if you're local, come say hi.

816
00:28:09,412 --> 00:28:11,212
Hang out and party with us

817
00:28:11,242 --> 00:28:11,872
for sure.

818
00:28:11,872 --> 00:28:17,002
And you can also catch us all the time
on Full Swap radio.com streaming every

819
00:28:17,002 --> 00:28:19,307
Thursday at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central.

820
00:28:19,807 --> 00:28:22,837
If you ever wanna share a story, ask
a question, or get something off your

821
00:28:22,837 --> 00:28:27,637
chest, check out the Beyond Monogamy
Confessional and, oh wait, beyond

822
00:28:27,637 --> 00:28:30,277
Monogamy Confessional on our website.

823
00:28:30,307 --> 00:28:32,437
It's hundred percent anonymous.

824
00:28:32,937 --> 00:28:37,757
Yeah, over at www.beyond-monogamy.com
you can actually find every single

825
00:28:37,757 --> 00:28:41,507
episode guest bios, blogs that I write.

826
00:28:42,407 --> 00:28:47,717
All our merch and all upcoming Beyond
Monogamy events, everything literally

827
00:28:47,867 --> 00:28:50,087
lives there, sometimes even us.

828
00:28:51,027 --> 00:28:55,287
As always, whether you're swinging poly,
monogamous, curious, or just trying

829
00:28:55,287 --> 00:29:00,087
to understand your own relationship
better, we're really glad you are here.

830
00:29:00,297 --> 00:29:02,997
And with that, we will
see you guys next week.

831
00:29:03,117 --> 00:29:03,567
Bye.