How to Last Longer in Bed: Real Tips for Men (That Actually Work)

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Alright y'all, before we
dive in, a quick heads up.

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This show is raw, real, and
definitely not rated pg.

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We're talking about adult themes, sexual
content, and the kind of stuff you

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probably don't want blasting through your
speakers at work or around your kits.

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So grab some headphones, pour your
drink of choice and get comfy.

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Oh, and just so we're clear, we are not
licensed therapists, counselors, or sex.

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Couches.

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Sex coaches.

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Sex coaches,

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not sex couches

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or just a couple of people sharing our
lives, experiences and sexy adventures.

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An ethical non-monogamy.

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So with that, pull up a
chair and enjoy the show.

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And.

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hello and welcome to another
episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris.

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And today we're answering a question
that came in through our website that I

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think a lot of people, especially guys,
are secretly wondering about, baby.

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Yeah.

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This one especially made me laugh
just a little bit, because when I

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read it, the guy basically said, Adam
says he can control how long he lasts.

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How the hell do you do that?

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Oh, I love that.

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Because honestly, that's a fair question
because if we're being real, this is

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something a lot of people struggle with
because you've actually mentioned that

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a few times and nobody really wants to
talk about how long you last out loud.

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Like it's not something
that we like to discuss.

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It's an awkward conversation and you
know, you don't wanna come out and say,

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well, I struggle lessing because then
people are gonna look at you weird.

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Or at least that's what we think.

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Yeah.

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Internally.

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Yeah.

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In the lifestyle.

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That's where you feel like you have to
perform like you're an Olympic athlete.

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Yeah.

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And exactly.

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So when like when you're nervous and
excited, you're overstimulated or

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you're just trying not to finish too
fast, sometimes the opposite problem

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happens with you men and you lose focus.

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Yeah.

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And it's completely gone.

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It's happened.

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Yeah.

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It's happened.

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Yeah.

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So today we're gonna talk about
lasting longer, controlling your

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arousal, staying in the moment.

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What actually works versus the garbage
advice that people have online.

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Yeah.

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We've all seen it.

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And we'll also talk about
the mental side of it because

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honestly, that's half the battle.

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Yeah, totally.

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And if you're listening and thinking,
thank God, finally somebody is talking

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about this, you are definitely not alone.

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Yes.

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Also, a quick reminder, if you ever
have questions like this, you can

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also send them completely anonymous
through our website adam's gonna say

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the website later, so about 10 times.

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So it's okay.

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Yeah.

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She's not gonna give it here.

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Just refer to the end of the show,
but it's www beyond monogamy com.

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Yeah.

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No, actually, those beyond Monogamy,
confessionals, uh, if you listened

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to our show last week we had a couple
on there that we read on our quickie.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Uh, so it, it really is important, you
know, if you really want to discuss

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something out loud, you wanna hear what
we have to say about it, toss it on there.

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Yes,

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we do read 'em, we talk about
'em, and the chances are, if

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you're wondering about something.

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So we're a lot of other people.

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Yes.

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All right.

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So let's get into it.

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Let's do this.

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Let's do this.

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Yes.

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So let's talk about the reality that
nobody really likes to talk about.

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Most men occasionally struggle with either
finishing too quickly or losing arousal.

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Mm-hmm.

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Both are extremely common.

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I have dealt with both of these before.

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I have dealt with men that this
has happened to before, so,

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yeah.

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Yeah.

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So it's

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um,

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uh, well, so here's the thing.

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When you and I first got together.

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I made it real clear I can't do quickies.

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Yeah.

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I have always had a very high sex drive.

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If you haven't heard the show
before, I have a lot of self-love,

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if you know what I'm saying.

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Like I spent a lot of time, uh, you
know, taking care of myself on top

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of, we have a very, very healthy sex
life, four times a day, if not more.

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So obviously I have a very high sex drive.

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When we came into this.

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Every woman that I had been
with prior to my lovely wife

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here has not been able to hang.

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They haven't been able to stay with
me as long, uh, to get it going.

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Now, I finally realized why I
lasted as long as I did back then.

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Why?

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Well, I'm, I'm an anxious,
I'm an anxious bird.

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Like my mind is always, thinking
about a lot of different things

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besides the sex that I'm having.

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Back then, a lot of times the problem
that I had oftentimes with these

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women that I would be with when I
was younger I didn't have a lot of

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confidence in myself as a person.

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So I knew that I had to
really do my best during sex.

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Mm-hmm.

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I knew that I really didn't have to think
too much when I was going down on a woman.

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That was relatively easy to me.

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Mm-hmm.

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Like I, I could follow whatever
kind of path they set up.

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If I heard certain moans, if
there was certain gestures, I

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was like, okay, do more of that.

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Mm-hmm.

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Less of this,

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you could follow directions,

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right?

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Mm-hmm.

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But the moment that it came time
for actual intercourse, penetrative

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intercourse well, it, there's that.

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This is something that women never
get to experience, but most guys

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will understand that very first
moment when you slide into a woman.

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And you're very turned on and
there's this entire hot moment.

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It's like everything led up to this
moment and you feel incredible and

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it's just three strokes in you're
going, oh my God, I'm, I'm gonna come.

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Yeah.

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Uh, because everything is so hot.

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Everything is so worked up.

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Yeah.

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So there are.

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Some things that I've learned that kept
me from reaching that point back then

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oftentimes I would enjoy the first stroke
in, and that was an amazing moment.

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And yeah, I could let that hot
moment take me, but my anxieties

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were going as you dick big enough.

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Are you gonna, are you
gonna please her properly?

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Like,

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oh,

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overthinking it.

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Am I, am I too sweaty?

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Should you're just overthinking it.

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Should I?

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Yes.

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So that really is what made me last long.

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Mm-hmm.

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And kept a lot of, of,
uh, coming early at bay.

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So, yeah.

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It's, so you knew how to control it now?

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Well, I really didn't know how to control.

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I didn't, that just happened.

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I just, so when I got with you,

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yeah.

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You know, I, I was.

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Always dealing with that anxiety.

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And so I didn't realize that that
was the case, but I knew that I

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lasted a long time with most women.

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And when I got with you, I was very clear.

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I was like, Hey man, there
ain't no quickies with me.

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Like, uh, I take a while.

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And you were like, yeah,
we'll see about that.

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And you made it like your mission to
figure out how to make me not last long.

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I'm older.

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I'm 48 or about to be 48.

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No, I'm 48

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as

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of Sunday,

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I'm, . I'm 48.

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So I'm 48.

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And I will tell you, I even when
I was younger, I don't have a

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problem of guys coming fast.

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I also don't have a problem
with them losing their heart on.

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Mid stroke like you guys are,
it's easy for us women and I'm,

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I'm this, uh, I'm gonna say from
my end, we're just laying there.

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We just have to be wet or

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I mean, even then you can use Loop.

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Yeah.

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And it's like you can use Loop
and it's the guys in there.

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So I am not really thinking about that.

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I really know how men
work and I'm okay with.

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Hey, you just need a little bit of
help or you just need a little bit

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of time or this is this excited
you and, but I mean, I've had guys

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eat me out and come in their pants.

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Just from that,

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so I get it.

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It's,

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it's

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okay.

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You oftentimes

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it's hot,

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actually.

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And that's, that's really
where you have to look at it.

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It's like why am I finishing so quick?

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Yeah.

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And, and oftentimes it's because it's a
very hot scenario or whatever's going on.

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If you're, whatever.

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Sometimes like we do the
dirty talking, forget it.

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That's gonna set me off real fast.

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Yeah.

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Uh, you know, there's,
there's different aspects.

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So she knows how to.

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Get me to finish quick.

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Yeah.

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We ain't got a lot of time.

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No.

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Sometimes we do, but sometimes we don't.

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Yeah.

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And so in that familiar aspect,
one, just know you are not alone.

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There are tons Yes.

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Of guys who struggle with this.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um.

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And all of us have had that moment
where we're like, gosh, you know,

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I'm gonna do this and this woman
is gonna be so upset with me.

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I mean, even still with me,
really, like if I finished quick.

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Yeah.

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I mean, you've heard me before.

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Yeah.

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When we played with others or whatever.

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Yeah.

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And, and the excitement from
everything is so hot that I'm

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like, five strokes in, I'm done.

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Yeah.

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I'm like, dang it.

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Stop.

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And I mean, I, I ed you.

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I mean on it, and I ed you, but honestly,
I don't wanna be, I do not wanna be there

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for 20 minutes trying to get you off.

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Like that is not ideal for me.

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It's just not

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Well, you know, and studies have
shown that the average intercourse

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time is about five to seven minutes.

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Yeah, I was gonna

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say like six, right?

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That surprises a lot of people.

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But I mean that's, and and that's funny
because when we did our show about.

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Me wanting sex all the time.

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Yeah.

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And how we have sex all the time.

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And then I, I've had people comment and
they're like, do you not have a job?

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How do you, how do you find
time to have sex, you know,

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six times a day or whatever.

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And it's like, how long
are your sessions lasting?

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Yeah.

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You can't have a job and
have sex six times a day.

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I mean, I, I do not work from home.

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So it, we get it done, but
it's, but you're, you are right.

255
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,900
Like, it doesn't need to be.

256
00:09:28,470 --> 00:09:29,850
A marathon, like

257
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:30,330
yeah,

258
00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:35,170
it's okay to do whatever, like,
have sex and be done with.

259
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:39,720
Now I, Adam already knows I, you
don't have to make me climax.

260
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:40,290
No,

261
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:44,340
I get pleasure from your climaxing.

262
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:44,850
Yeah,

263
00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:45,960
that's it.

264
00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:49,440
Like I, and if I'm in the mood,
I'm like, all right, baby, I'm in

265
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,910
the mood, so can you make me come?

266
00:09:51,410 --> 00:09:53,180
It's just that, that's how it is.

267
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:54,320
It's not, um.

268
00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:56,750
It doesn't have to last that long.

269
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:57,830
Yeah.

270
00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:01,600
And you know what I found out, since we
started this podcast, since we started

271
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,380
creating content and we've started
really talking to the masses mm-hmm.

272
00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:09,310
In this community, there are
a lot of women that really

273
00:10:09,310 --> 00:10:10,960
don't want long sessions.

274
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:11,470
Yeah.

275
00:10:11,470 --> 00:10:15,380
Uh, when you think about an hour
long session, what goes into that?

276
00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:19,340
And if, if it's just two people
an hour long, how many different

277
00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:20,990
moves are you gonna have to do?

278
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,300
We're not porn stars, man.

279
00:10:23,570 --> 00:10:28,760
So it's like, I got three moves at, at
at best, you know, and she's like, oh,

280
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,880
you see that porn where the guy picks
her up and, and, and can you do that?

281
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,500
And I'm like, no, I can't.

282
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:34,700
I'm not there.

283
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:37,250
Give me a few years to body build.

284
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:37,820
And maybe,

285
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:38,420
but I mean, I'm

286
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:38,960
not the guy not,

287
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,490
but I'm not looking for that either.

288
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:40,790
No, no, no.

289
00:10:40,790 --> 00:10:41,355
But what I'm, yeah, exactly.

290
00:10:41,355 --> 00:10:41,795
You know what I mean?

291
00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:42,020
Like,

292
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:42,350
like.

293
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,050
We get so used to seeing porn culture.

294
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:46,440
Yeah.

295
00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:51,960
And in a, you know, a five
minute porn, they've done 27

296
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,960
different maneuvers Sexually.

297
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:55,020
Yeah.

298
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,120
In four different rooms.

299
00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:57,270
No.

300
00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:59,400
And then finish off in the pool.

301
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,550
And it's like that is not really,

302
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,210
it's not ideal.

303
00:11:03,210 --> 00:11:04,410
The reality of it all.

304
00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:04,470
No.

305
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:07,110
You know, the reality, even
when we're at the club.

306
00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:08,900
Five to seven minutes, baby.

307
00:11:09,050 --> 00:11:09,260
Yeah.

308
00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:09,740
You know what I mean?

309
00:11:09,740 --> 00:11:09,800
Yeah.

310
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:13,680
So if you're talking about like,
the moment you get inside of

311
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:18,780
her, you are coming, then there
are different ways to fix that.

312
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:23,340
The old school method that we all
grew up hearing was think of baseball.

313
00:11:23,790 --> 00:11:24,600
I was gonna say, right.

314
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,260
Think of baseball.

315
00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:25,830
They always say that.

316
00:11:25,830 --> 00:11:26,610
Think of baseball.

317
00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:31,410
Uh, the problem with that is, yeah,
you can concentrate on something

318
00:11:31,410 --> 00:11:33,630
else to prevent you from coming.

319
00:11:34,130 --> 00:11:38,810
If you do that too much, like in the
moment, if you're concentrating too

320
00:11:38,810 --> 00:11:43,120
hard on not coming and concentrating
too hard on baseball, eventually

321
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,800
you're gonna just lose your erection.

322
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:50,180
In which case that's, I think the bigger
disappointment is because then the

323
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,150
woman thinks that you're not getting
hard because they're not attractive.

324
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:53,510
Yeah.

325
00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:53,945
You know what I mean?

326
00:11:53,985 --> 00:11:54,385
I used to think that.

327
00:11:55,385 --> 00:11:57,485
I used to think that, oh, did I do that?

328
00:11:57,485 --> 00:11:58,685
It's not getting hard 'cause of me.

329
00:11:59,165 --> 00:12:03,055
I do realize now as an
adult that's not the case.

330
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:03,675
No.

331
00:12:03,675 --> 00:12:07,635
And, and you know, a lot of
this issue is psychological.

332
00:12:07,695 --> 00:12:07,965
Yeah.

333
00:12:08,115 --> 00:12:09,855
A lot of it is psychological.

334
00:12:09,935 --> 00:12:13,745
One, it, uh, there's a lot of
women that, like men who come fast

335
00:12:13,745 --> 00:12:18,545
because it shows them that they
just made you really, really hot.

336
00:12:19,145 --> 00:12:22,115
And that is a successful night
as far as they're concerned.

337
00:12:22,805 --> 00:12:22,895
Mm-hmm.

338
00:12:23,135 --> 00:12:23,195
Now

339
00:12:23,195 --> 00:12:23,235
the real Thank you.

340
00:12:23,235 --> 00:12:23,300
Thank you.

341
00:12:23,675 --> 00:12:28,655
The real question is, can you, how long
does it take for you to get aroused again?

342
00:12:28,895 --> 00:12:30,005
To go for a second round?

343
00:12:30,035 --> 00:12:30,095
Yeah.

344
00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:31,145
Is that a possibility?

345
00:12:31,145 --> 00:12:31,895
If you can, if it's a possibility.

346
00:12:31,895 --> 00:12:35,855
Not everybody can, but I find that
there are a lot of people who all

347
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:39,035
they gotta do is sit back for a little
bit, watch some action or whatever,

348
00:12:39,035 --> 00:12:41,435
or you know, cut and then they're good
and then they're ready to go again.

349
00:12:41,435 --> 00:12:41,585
Yeah.

350
00:12:41,875 --> 00:12:46,425
For me, the reason why it works
so well for me is if I come fast.

351
00:12:47,115 --> 00:12:51,135
I'm probably still gonna be hard and I
can keep going, or I just need a minute

352
00:12:51,225 --> 00:12:52,305
and then I'm ready to go some more.

353
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:52,365
Yeah.

354
00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:55,415
Uh, but I've tr trained my mind into that.

355
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,385
You know, I, I like to keep going.

356
00:12:58,385 --> 00:13:00,125
I like to do the other rounds.

357
00:13:00,465 --> 00:13:03,995
And so there are times where
I'm just like, man, I'm tired.

358
00:13:04,115 --> 00:13:05,345
I can't, sorry guys.

359
00:13:05,525 --> 00:13:05,615
Yeah.

360
00:13:05,615 --> 00:13:05,975
I can't.

361
00:13:06,215 --> 00:13:06,335
Yeah.

362
00:13:06,365 --> 00:13:08,435
Uh, in which case I'll
just lay there and watch.

363
00:13:08,435 --> 00:13:10,145
But as I'm laying there watching.

364
00:13:10,775 --> 00:13:11,315
Get hot?

365
00:13:11,315 --> 00:13:12,515
No, it's a psychological thing.

366
00:13:12,635 --> 00:13:15,605
I have mentioned this before and I
kind of just wanna throw it in there.

367
00:13:15,665 --> 00:13:19,655
We've been in situations where we've
been with couples and the other guy

368
00:13:19,655 --> 00:13:24,515
just hasn't, he either just lost it
or he doesn't, can't get it back.

369
00:13:24,565 --> 00:13:26,175
And that's okay.

370
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:27,905
But tell your partner.

371
00:13:27,905 --> 00:13:31,595
Tell your original partner
like, Hey, can you help me?

372
00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:35,405
Yeah, the other person is not gonna
get offended because I'm just gonna go

373
00:13:35,405 --> 00:13:39,095
toward Adam and be like, okay, you and
I are gonna have some fun right now.

374
00:13:39,605 --> 00:13:42,275
And the other one, you know, you
go take care of your husband.

375
00:13:42,275 --> 00:13:45,215
However it's just, it's okay to do that.

376
00:13:45,455 --> 00:13:48,335
It's okay to be vulnerable in that moment.

377
00:13:48,335 --> 00:13:49,025
Like it's not.

378
00:13:49,525 --> 00:13:50,515
We're not teenagers.

379
00:13:50,515 --> 00:13:51,475
It's not a weird thing.

380
00:13:51,905 --> 00:13:52,175
Yeah.

381
00:13:52,175 --> 00:13:55,895
You know, it, it, it's, I'm telling
you, it's, it's weirdly common.

382
00:13:56,045 --> 00:13:56,135
Yeah.

383
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:59,045
And it's not an age thing either,
as we found out, you know, this

384
00:13:59,045 --> 00:14:00,305
is, no, it is not.

385
00:14:00,305 --> 00:14:03,035
There's actually a lot
of, uh, younger guys.

386
00:14:03,095 --> 00:14:03,215
Yeah.

387
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:04,715
Late twenties, early thirties.

388
00:14:04,715 --> 00:14:04,775
Yeah.

389
00:14:05,615 --> 00:14:07,415
That struggle with this problem.

390
00:14:07,765 --> 00:14:08,005
Yeah.

391
00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:09,575
So, no, it does make it, I understand.

392
00:14:09,575 --> 00:14:12,975
Like, I understand and I think
a lot of women understand that

393
00:14:12,975 --> 00:14:17,025
it's just a different mindset
for men than as it is for women.

394
00:14:17,110 --> 00:14:17,400
Yeah.

395
00:14:17,535 --> 00:14:17,775
Yeah.

396
00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:21,105
Well, you know, and, and
some, everybody is different.

397
00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:21,435
Yes.

398
00:14:21,435 --> 00:14:24,975
So obviously I can tell you what
works for me, it may not work for you.

399
00:14:24,975 --> 00:14:25,305
Yeah.

400
00:14:25,405 --> 00:14:28,315
Also, you know, there's different
things for different guys.

401
00:14:28,315 --> 00:14:30,625
Now I know that there are
Facebook groups out there just

402
00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:32,275
for guys who are in the lifestyle.

403
00:14:32,485 --> 00:14:32,575
Mm-hmm.

404
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:35,335
Uh, where this sort of thing
is talked about, uh, often.

405
00:14:35,905 --> 00:14:40,375
And you can kind of take some
notes for what works for other

406
00:14:40,375 --> 00:14:41,605
people and give that a try too.

407
00:14:41,605 --> 00:14:43,615
So that's always, yeah, that's
always an option as well.

408
00:14:44,095 --> 00:14:49,105
I think one of the, the biggest
tips that you wanna try is to

409
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,845
control your arousal curve.

410
00:14:50,935 --> 00:14:51,145
Mm-hmm.

411
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:56,245
Uh, one of the most common techniques
recommended by sex therapists, uh,

412
00:14:56,575 --> 00:14:58,615
because the key isn't lasting longer.

413
00:14:58,975 --> 00:14:59,275
Okay.

414
00:14:59,395 --> 00:15:03,535
It's learning where your
point of no return is, uh, ah.

415
00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:05,035
You know what I'm saying?

416
00:15:05,035 --> 00:15:05,425
So,

417
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:05,600
okay.

418
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:05,760
Yeah.

419
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:05,960
Yeah.

420
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:06,040
Yeah.

421
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:09,730
We typically, we men, we
have this buildup phase.

422
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,170
You're kissing, you're
grinding, this and that.

423
00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:12,230
Yeah.

424
00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:16,400
Getting turned on right Now,
some guys get so turned on in

425
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,630
the buildup phase that they'll,

426
00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:18,080
yeah,

427
00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:19,220
they'll finish right there.

428
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:19,640
Yeah.

429
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:19,650
Mm-hmm.

430
00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:19,705
Yeah.

431
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,830
In which case you think, oh, well this is.

432
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:25,210
It's, I think it's more of a
mood killer for the guy because

433
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:26,350
he gets very embarrassed

434
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:27,340
and very insecure.

435
00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:27,850
Yeah.

436
00:15:27,850 --> 00:15:27,860
Yeah.

437
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,380
But oftentimes if you can make it
past the buildup phase, then you

438
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:32,910
can, you'll end up plateauing.

439
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:36,720
You know, you'll, you'll have
this straightforward erection

440
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:37,440
and do your whole thing.

441
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:37,530
Mm-hmm.

442
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,295
And then you'll have your climax point.

443
00:15:40,185 --> 00:15:42,465
Once you cross a certain
point, there's no stopping.

444
00:15:42,765 --> 00:15:46,710
Once you and, and that goes for
intercourse, that goes for self-love.

445
00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:52,960
As a guy, I have tried to, there's
a, that tingly feeling, when

446
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,360
you're about, like, it's like, oh
my gosh, I'm about to get there.

447
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,440
And you've got that tingly feeling
and there's like a five second Yeah.

448
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,400
Window of time.

449
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:01,210
That's where I get off.

450
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,810
If you just stop, if you just stop.

451
00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:05,570
You might not come.

452
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:06,380
Yeah.

453
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,130
You know what I mean?

454
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:08,870
And I know a lot of people that do that.

455
00:16:09,170 --> 00:16:09,830
They will

456
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:10,250
like

457
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,015
Edge, edge, yeah.

458
00:16:11,020 --> 00:16:11,180
Yeah.

459
00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:12,230
They'll basically edge.

460
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:15,710
And, and that is actually a tip
from a lot of sex therapists

461
00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:18,080
out there is what you want.

462
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:18,690
You want to.

463
00:16:19,115 --> 00:16:20,855
You wanna train your dick, essentially.

464
00:16:20,885 --> 00:16:21,185
Exactly.

465
00:16:21,185 --> 00:16:24,215
You wanna train your mind and your
dick together at the same time.

466
00:16:24,335 --> 00:16:24,425
Mm-hmm.

467
00:16:24,455 --> 00:16:28,145
And that is gonna revolve around
self-love oftentimes, because, uh, you

468
00:16:28,145 --> 00:16:31,325
know, finding a woman for that every
single time, that's gonna be a lot.

469
00:16:31,535 --> 00:16:31,805
Yeah.

470
00:16:31,835 --> 00:16:36,555
Uh, so what you wanna do is you want to
space out some time for just yourself.

471
00:16:37,055 --> 00:16:39,995
Bring yourself close to climax

472
00:16:40,055 --> 00:16:40,175
mm-hmm.

473
00:16:40,385 --> 00:16:45,115
And stop and leave it
alone for 20 seconds.

474
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,095
20 to 30 seconds,

475
00:16:47,095 --> 00:16:48,025
don't touch

476
00:16:48,385 --> 00:16:50,535
and then get back into it.

477
00:16:50,895 --> 00:16:51,435
There you go.

478
00:16:51,615 --> 00:16:55,075
Uh, you know, and, and the more you
do that, the more you're actually

479
00:16:55,075 --> 00:17:01,155
training your, your genitals to, to
take on this, this spacing of time.

480
00:17:01,305 --> 00:17:01,515
Yeah.

481
00:17:01,575 --> 00:17:03,405
And you're training your mind, right?

482
00:17:03,855 --> 00:17:08,865
So then when you're with a woman and
you're having sex and you feel that

483
00:17:08,865 --> 00:17:10,240
you're about to reach that point.

484
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:11,550
Change the rhythm.

485
00:17:11,555 --> 00:17:11,925
Mm-hmm.

486
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:12,405
Stop.

487
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:16,560
I was gonna say, I was gonna say we, if
I change the rhythm or change positions.

488
00:17:16,590 --> 00:17:16,950
Yeah.

489
00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:18,325
You're like, okay, hold, hold on.

490
00:17:18,325 --> 00:17:18,420
I gotta start.

491
00:17:18,525 --> 00:17:18,765
There's,

492
00:17:18,765 --> 00:17:21,045
there's about a five second
window where I'm like, okay, good.

493
00:17:21,155 --> 00:17:22,245
Yeah, I can get back on.

494
00:17:22,245 --> 00:17:22,830
And that's the fun part.

495
00:17:22,830 --> 00:17:25,980
Like my favorite thing to
do is I love to edge him.

496
00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:28,140
Like that's like the absolute.

497
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,290
Best thing, and I'll do that at the club.

498
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:30,860
Yeah.

499
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,075
Like I'll just, she does that at the club.

500
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:32,770
It's very, okay.

501
00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:33,555
We done very difficult.

502
00:17:33,955 --> 00:17:38,365
It's difficult to stop and so this is the
part that I struggled with when I used

503
00:17:38,365 --> 00:17:42,095
to train myself this because I was trying
to do it as a younger guy, I was like,

504
00:17:42,485 --> 00:17:43,745
oh, this would be kind of cool to do.

505
00:17:44,315 --> 00:17:48,425
And that five second window where
you have to stop touching yourself.

506
00:17:48,925 --> 00:17:51,025
I would throw in an extra stroke.

507
00:17:51,535 --> 00:17:52,495
I would finish.

508
00:17:52,615 --> 00:17:52,795
Dang.

509
00:17:52,795 --> 00:17:54,355
And I'd be like, man,
I have no discipline.

510
00:17:54,535 --> 00:17:55,825
I have no discipline whatsoever.

511
00:17:56,065 --> 00:17:56,155
None.

512
00:17:56,155 --> 00:17:56,275
Yeah.

513
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:57,505
It's the reason why I can't pull out

514
00:17:58,075 --> 00:17:58,315
Yeah.

515
00:17:58,915 --> 00:17:59,845
Like when we're together.

516
00:17:59,845 --> 00:17:59,905
Yeah.

517
00:18:00,170 --> 00:18:00,410
I know.

518
00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:01,825
That's the reason why I can't pull out

519
00:18:01,975 --> 00:18:02,035
Yeah.

520
00:18:02,095 --> 00:18:05,455
Is because like I know there's
two things that are gonna happen

521
00:18:05,815 --> 00:18:07,135
when she tells me to pull out.

522
00:18:07,135 --> 00:18:09,795
If, if she wants me to
pull out, if I pull out,

523
00:18:10,305 --> 00:18:11,085
he might lose it.

524
00:18:11,145 --> 00:18:14,925
Either I'm gonna lose it or I'm
gonna come before I pull out.

525
00:18:15,425 --> 00:18:15,905
It's me.

526
00:18:15,905 --> 00:18:16,360
It's okay.

527
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:18,995
So I'm like, whatevs, man.

528
00:18:19,055 --> 00:18:19,895
I'm not gonna do that.

529
00:18:19,895 --> 00:18:20,555
Yeah, I'll start off.

530
00:18:20,555 --> 00:18:22,355
I'll be like, yeah, I'm gonna
do this, I'm gonna do that.

531
00:18:22,355 --> 00:18:24,365
Nope, that's not gonna happen at all.

532
00:18:24,665 --> 00:18:30,820
Now, like I said, if you are looking to
just keep lasting throughout the session.

533
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,370
Then take a second, you know?

534
00:18:32,370 --> 00:18:32,430
Yeah.

535
00:18:33,090 --> 00:18:36,090
We've been in situations where
we've played with another woman in

536
00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:39,840
a threesome or whatever, and Pris is
right next to me kissing the woman.

537
00:18:39,845 --> 00:18:39,875
Mm-hmm.

538
00:18:39,975 --> 00:18:43,470
And I'm, getting in missionary
and just working this whole thing

539
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:46,980
and three strokes in, I'm like,
oh my God, I'm about to come.

540
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:47,880
And I will say that.

541
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:47,890
Mm-hmm.

542
00:18:47,945 --> 00:18:49,320
I'll say that to both of these women.

543
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,000
I'm like, I'm about to come.

544
00:18:51,810 --> 00:18:55,990
And if the if there's
a look of acceptance.

545
00:18:56,485 --> 00:18:58,435
If there's a, oh, go ahead.

546
00:18:59,155 --> 00:18:59,635
Well, okay.

547
00:18:59,635 --> 00:18:59,725
Which

548
00:18:59,725 --> 00:19:00,355
the most is

549
00:19:00,355 --> 00:19:01,435
usually there is.

550
00:19:01,435 --> 00:19:04,885
I, I don't think I've found any
resistance on that, but usually

551
00:19:04,885 --> 00:19:06,085
it's like, oh yeah, go ahead.

552
00:19:06,085 --> 00:19:06,685
That's frigging hot.

553
00:19:06,715 --> 00:19:09,925
And so I'll be like, okay, they want
me to do it, so I'm gonna do it.

554
00:19:10,075 --> 00:19:11,575
So, and then I'll finish.

555
00:19:11,845 --> 00:19:12,025
Yeah.

556
00:19:12,055 --> 00:19:15,385
Well then I'll be down and out and
I'll be like, damn, I just got started.

557
00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:20,005
So I will lay off to the side, I'll
watch them play, or I'll mm-hmm.

558
00:19:20,305 --> 00:19:24,945
You know, use my imagination or whatever
and work myself back up to a frenzy again.

559
00:19:24,975 --> 00:19:25,065
Mm-hmm.

560
00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:27,105
Because a lot of it is mental.

561
00:19:27,255 --> 00:19:27,555
Yes.

562
00:19:27,645 --> 00:19:28,695
You know, a lot of it.

563
00:19:28,695 --> 00:19:28,965
Yeah.

564
00:19:28,965 --> 00:19:30,075
Some of it is physical.

565
00:19:30,255 --> 00:19:30,465
Yeah.

566
00:19:30,465 --> 00:19:31,395
As we get older, yeah.

567
00:19:31,395 --> 00:19:35,685
There are, there are, physical
things that prevent this, but there's

568
00:19:35,685 --> 00:19:37,605
a lot of, a lot of it is mental.

569
00:19:38,025 --> 00:19:38,115
Mm-hmm.

570
00:19:38,355 --> 00:19:40,725
And especially when it comes to orgasming.

571
00:19:40,835 --> 00:19:42,455
Earlier, it's all mental man.

572
00:19:42,935 --> 00:19:44,980
Uh, a lot of it is slow down,
psychological, slow it down,

573
00:19:45,275 --> 00:19:46,085
do some foreplay,

574
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:47,405
do some foreplay.

575
00:19:47,405 --> 00:19:48,865
You know, this is.

576
00:19:49,435 --> 00:19:52,435
This is my tip, my friend, and
this, you're gonna like this one.

577
00:19:52,615 --> 00:19:54,445
All the guys listening, you're
really gonna like this one.

578
00:19:54,445 --> 00:20:00,085
And all the women that get to feel
this from your guy, you're welcome.

579
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:01,825
Okay, what's, here's what you're gonna do.

580
00:20:02,155 --> 00:20:02,545
All right.

581
00:20:03,115 --> 00:20:03,745
Tell 'em baby.

582
00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:04,135
Yeah.

583
00:20:04,375 --> 00:20:08,335
Soon as you slide in, you know you're
doing that, that first entrance

584
00:20:08,335 --> 00:20:09,930
move, things are kind of hot.

585
00:20:10,105 --> 00:20:14,865
You feel yourself building up
relatively quickly and, uh.

586
00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:19,105
I don't know how much time is passing,
but you know just how much time you have.

587
00:20:19,105 --> 00:20:19,465
Mm-hmm.

588
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:23,690
If you have another stroke and you,
or not, take it as far as you can

589
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:28,100
go without actually coming, and then
right before you feel like you're

590
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:31,220
gonna come pull out and go down on her.

591
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,640
Go down on her while you're Jack.

592
00:20:33,940 --> 00:20:34,600
Don't jack off.

593
00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:34,960
Leave it.

594
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:35,530
Leave it alone.

595
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:39,640
But if you start to feel like it's going
away, then go ahead and start jacking

596
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:40,660
off while you're going down on her.

597
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:44,920
Go down on her for a little bit
until you feel ready to start again.

598
00:20:45,670 --> 00:20:47,860
And if you have to do
that over and over again.

599
00:20:48,475 --> 00:20:49,735
Then do it over and over again.

600
00:20:49,735 --> 00:20:52,915
I guarantee you, my friend,
your lady will not complain.

601
00:20:53,065 --> 00:20:53,185
No.

602
00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:56,695
Unless she's one of those that doesn't
like to get oral, in which case, and

603
00:20:56,695 --> 00:20:58,255
that, that tactic may not work outta luck.

604
00:20:58,615 --> 00:21:00,625
I, I rarely run into those ladies.

605
00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:03,705
Most of the ladies that I, uh, play
with, including my wife love oral.

606
00:21:04,035 --> 00:21:08,805
And so if that is really the
issue, and it's all, like I

607
00:21:08,805 --> 00:21:10,035
said, it's all psychological.

608
00:21:10,575 --> 00:21:13,155
If there's just nothing else
that you can do and you've

609
00:21:13,155 --> 00:21:14,715
tried thinking of other things.

610
00:21:14,715 --> 00:21:16,125
You've tried this, you've tried that.

611
00:21:16,815 --> 00:21:19,725
This, my friend is gonna
work for both of you.

612
00:21:19,730 --> 00:21:19,890
Mm-hmm.

613
00:21:19,975 --> 00:21:21,285
Because you're gonna last.

614
00:21:21,285 --> 00:21:21,585
Yes.

615
00:21:21,585 --> 00:21:24,135
It's more work for you because
you're gonna stop, you're gonna go

616
00:21:24,135 --> 00:21:26,985
down on it for a while, and then who
knows how long that's gonna last.

617
00:21:27,165 --> 00:21:28,245
And then you're gonna come back up.

618
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,825
And then if you're gonna feel
it again, it really just depends

619
00:21:30,825 --> 00:21:31,875
on how much you want it to go.

620
00:21:31,965 --> 00:21:32,115
Yeah.

621
00:21:32,865 --> 00:21:34,275
But that.

622
00:21:34,830 --> 00:21:36,720
Is your number one tip, my friend.

623
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,050
You do that and you're gonna have
a lady who's asking for more and

624
00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:40,920
more, and she, you know what?

625
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,120
She's not gonna care if you come.

626
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:42,480
No.

627
00:21:42,630 --> 00:21:44,850
Because if you come, you're
gonna just go back down on her.

628
00:21:44,910 --> 00:21:45,030
Mm-hmm.

629
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:45,840
And guess what?

630
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:47,710
You're working it, man.

631
00:21:47,770 --> 00:21:48,280
You're working it.

632
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,540
It's you giving all your secret,

633
00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:50,405
Hey man, that is, I love it.

634
00:21:50,770 --> 00:21:54,970
That is a secret that all men should
know when it comes to pleasing

635
00:21:54,970 --> 00:21:56,680
their women, because there's
a lot of women who know that.

636
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:56,830
I think

637
00:21:56,830 --> 00:21:58,240
I've only had a few guys do that.

638
00:21:58,300 --> 00:21:58,540
Yeah.

639
00:21:58,545 --> 00:21:59,045
And it's been.

640
00:21:59,545 --> 00:22:00,085
Yeah.

641
00:22:00,295 --> 00:22:01,075
Amazing.

642
00:22:01,165 --> 00:22:01,525
Yeah.

643
00:22:01,525 --> 00:22:03,925
You know, I'm telling you that you're
getting it from the horse's mouth here.

644
00:22:03,925 --> 00:22:04,015
Yes.

645
00:22:04,285 --> 00:22:05,935
She has had that before.

646
00:22:05,935 --> 00:22:09,055
I, I mean, I've done it before, but
when she's had it from other men

647
00:22:09,055 --> 00:22:10,405
before and it's like, oh my God.

648
00:22:10,405 --> 00:22:12,055
Like, it sends her crazy.

649
00:22:12,085 --> 00:22:12,175
Mm-hmm.

650
00:22:12,445 --> 00:22:15,355
And most women, if you are good at eating

651
00:22:15,855 --> 00:22:16,395
the kit, catt

652
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,795
it, it, it will, it, it
will make a difference.

653
00:22:18,885 --> 00:22:19,005
Yes.

654
00:22:19,245 --> 00:22:23,505
Just telling women, like if you're having
a conversation with a woman, you're

655
00:22:23,505 --> 00:22:24,855
like, oh, lemme tell you something.

656
00:22:25,755 --> 00:22:29,985
I'm gonna slide in you and we're
gonna have a little fun, and then

657
00:22:30,485 --> 00:22:32,195
right before I come, I'm gonna stop.

658
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:32,980
Mm-hmm.

659
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,685
And I'm gonna go down on you for a while.

660
00:22:35,135 --> 00:22:35,315
Yes,

661
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:35,500
please.

662
00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:37,115
And it's like, forget it.

663
00:22:37,115 --> 00:22:37,660
Yes, please.

664
00:22:38,310 --> 00:22:38,980
Explosions.

665
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:39,500
Yes.

666
00:22:39,965 --> 00:22:40,475
Yes, sir. Mm-hmm.

667
00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:41,405
Yeah.

668
00:22:41,405 --> 00:22:44,465
You know, it, it is a, it's
a very tried and true tactic.

669
00:22:44,465 --> 00:22:47,735
Like I said, it doesn't work with
everybody, but it works with most.

670
00:22:48,125 --> 00:22:50,255
And if that's really
what you, uh, you know.

671
00:22:51,175 --> 00:22:53,900
It, it, it's, a lot of
it is training yourself.

672
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:59,100
A lot of it comes with confidence
once you realize your own cheat

673
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,360
codes, you know what I mean?

674
00:23:00,450 --> 00:23:00,750
Yeah.

675
00:23:00,810 --> 00:23:04,020
Once you realize how to, how to
input your own cheat codes, and

676
00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:05,460
it's like, okay, well this is me.

677
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,380
You have to figure yourself out
though, and that takes work.

678
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:10,610
That takes time.

679
00:23:10,940 --> 00:23:13,820
You have to figure out what it is that's.

680
00:23:14,225 --> 00:23:17,765
Bringing you to this point, how,
you know, where's your mind at?

681
00:23:17,795 --> 00:23:18,005
Mm-hmm.

682
00:23:18,245 --> 00:23:20,735
The only reason why I know all
this is because I am a classic

683
00:23:20,735 --> 00:23:23,555
overthinker and I overthink everything.

684
00:23:23,615 --> 00:23:23,705
Mm-hmm.

685
00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:26,495
And I've got myself figured out
and my wife has me figured out too.

686
00:23:27,065 --> 00:23:31,955
But the more you do it,
the easier it will be.

687
00:23:32,455 --> 00:23:38,995
Over time, your body learns control, it
learns endurance, and the whole stop.

688
00:23:39,370 --> 00:23:42,400
Start thing that I was
mentioning earlier in the show.

689
00:23:43,090 --> 00:23:43,150
Yeah.

690
00:23:43,150 --> 00:23:44,975
You know, you, you
start, you get it going.

691
00:23:44,975 --> 00:23:49,205
You feel like you're gonna come, you
stop, you wait 20, 30 seconds, you

692
00:23:49,205 --> 00:23:51,845
know, you maybe go down on her or
whatever, and then you start again.

693
00:23:52,345 --> 00:23:56,335
This is actually used in clinical
treatment for premature ejaculation.

694
00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:57,945
That makes a lot of sense.

695
00:23:57,945 --> 00:23:58,725
That's a fact.

696
00:23:58,725 --> 00:24:00,255
Makes a lot mean not, lot
mean not necessarily lot.

697
00:24:00,255 --> 00:24:01,635
The going down on your
partner part, right.

698
00:24:01,845 --> 00:24:02,280
Just the stopping

699
00:24:02,330 --> 00:24:02,680
going.

700
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:03,525
But the stop and start,

701
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:03,615
yeah.

702
00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:08,815
Is, is used in clinical treatment
for premature and ejaculation.

703
00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:15,415
And so this is a tried and true tactic,
but I throw in the fact that if you

704
00:24:15,415 --> 00:24:17,065
stop and you go down on your partner.

705
00:24:17,470 --> 00:24:18,130
She's not bored.

706
00:24:18,250 --> 00:24:23,380
She's not bored, and the
entire session just got hotter.

707
00:24:23,980 --> 00:24:24,070
Yeah.

708
00:24:24,070 --> 00:24:26,380
You know, it's basically
edging, but with a purpose.

709
00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:27,850
I like that.

710
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:28,180
Yeah.

711
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:28,780
Yeah.

712
00:24:28,780 --> 00:24:32,080
I mean, it's incredibly frustrating
for the partner sometimes because it's

713
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:36,610
like, I know, you know, you're just,
you're trying to to to build it up

714
00:24:36,610 --> 00:24:38,110
and it goes away and it builds it up.

715
00:24:38,380 --> 00:24:39,250
It's okay.

716
00:24:39,685 --> 00:24:40,885
It's like, don't get frustrated.

717
00:24:40,885 --> 00:24:40,945
Yeah.

718
00:24:40,945 --> 00:24:41,560
It's all good.

719
00:24:41,845 --> 00:24:42,085
Yeah.

720
00:24:42,355 --> 00:24:45,835
Now, one thing that I know porn
stars do, and I had to do my

721
00:24:45,835 --> 00:24:46,915
research on this, my friend, I

722
00:24:46,915 --> 00:24:48,115
just told you about this.

723
00:24:48,415 --> 00:24:49,375
Yes, you did.

724
00:24:49,375 --> 00:24:49,465
Yes.

725
00:24:49,465 --> 00:24:50,725
You mentioned this to me before.

726
00:24:50,875 --> 00:24:51,355
Yes.

727
00:24:51,415 --> 00:24:55,405
Uh, pelvic floor training, which
is basically Kegels for men.

728
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:55,880
For men.

729
00:24:56,125 --> 00:24:58,345
My wife is very familiar
with Kegels For women.

730
00:24:58,345 --> 00:24:59,755
I think most women are, yes.

731
00:24:59,755 --> 00:25:00,775
Familiar with Kegels.

732
00:25:01,325 --> 00:25:05,675
Men do not really know this,
but men, you can do Kegels.

733
00:25:05,735 --> 00:25:06,845
Something that a lot of you never

734
00:25:06,845 --> 00:25:07,085
heard.

735
00:25:07,085 --> 00:25:08,555
It helps, I believe it also helps your.

736
00:25:08,945 --> 00:25:10,295
Your, um, prostate.

737
00:25:11,045 --> 00:25:11,255
Yeah.

738
00:25:11,285 --> 00:25:11,555
Yeah.

739
00:25:11,555 --> 00:25:16,175
So those same muscles that stop urine
flow actually control ejaculation.

740
00:25:16,655 --> 00:25:18,935
So strengthening them can actually Yeah.

741
00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:20,315
Improve your stamina.

742
00:25:20,825 --> 00:25:24,755
It can improve your erection,
strength, your control.

743
00:25:24,905 --> 00:25:30,315
I think a, it's like I said, a lot of men
in porn, uh, really work on their kegels

744
00:25:30,750 --> 00:25:33,330
because that's something that, you know.

745
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:36,315
You have to be able to pull
out a lot of these guys Yeah.

746
00:25:36,315 --> 00:25:39,195
They have to be able to pull out and
be able to like shoot their load.

747
00:25:39,255 --> 00:25:39,435
Yeah.

748
00:25:39,495 --> 00:25:40,635
You know, for the pop shot.

749
00:25:40,755 --> 00:25:40,935
Yeah.

750
00:25:41,035 --> 00:25:43,675
That takes a lot of control.

751
00:25:43,975 --> 00:25:45,565
And so they do a lot of these Kegels.

752
00:25:45,565 --> 00:25:46,945
Now how do you do them fellas?

753
00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:51,265
You contract the muscle
that you use to stop peeing.

754
00:25:51,445 --> 00:25:51,685
Mm-hmm.

755
00:25:51,955 --> 00:25:53,095
You understand what I'm saying there?

756
00:25:53,215 --> 00:25:53,965
I think you do.

757
00:25:54,295 --> 00:25:55,405
I don't know how else to word

758
00:25:55,405 --> 00:25:55,465
it.

759
00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:56,635
You, you can even do it.

760
00:25:56,635 --> 00:26:01,375
So for women, we, we can, I mean I
do Kegels while I'm sitting here.

761
00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:04,510
I do ke I. I can do like 200 kilos a day.

762
00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:04,870
Mm-hmm.

763
00:26:05,110 --> 00:26:05,710
I really try.

764
00:26:05,860 --> 00:26:06,010
Yeah.

765
00:26:06,070 --> 00:26:10,500
And it's pretty much just pulling
that muscle in and letting it go.

766
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:14,490
Like clenching your butt, you're
clenching your butt, but you're kind

767
00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:16,320
of doing it towards the middle part.

768
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:16,770
Right.

769
00:26:16,770 --> 00:26:18,300
Well, so for men it's different.

770
00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:22,020
So if as a guy, if you've
ever made your dick jump.

771
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,400
Oh, is that what that is

772
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:23,775
for y'all?

773
00:26:23,775 --> 00:26:25,460
When, when you make your,
your dick jump mm-hmm.

774
00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:26,930
When you make your penis move mm-hmm.

775
00:26:27,170 --> 00:26:33,540
In a way that's you basically
doing a male Kegel your, that's

776
00:26:33,540 --> 00:26:37,390
the muscle that you'd use to stop
peeing in order to make it do that.

777
00:26:37,780 --> 00:26:42,280
And so what you wanna do is you want,
you wanna do that motion, hold it for

778
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:47,980
three to five seconds and repeat that
10 to 15 times at least in a day.

779
00:26:48,230 --> 00:26:51,530
Well, actually, they recommend
that you do a few sets a day.

780
00:26:52,140 --> 00:26:56,070
You know, 10 in the morning, 10
during lunchtime, 10 at night.

781
00:26:56,570 --> 00:26:56,990
There you go.

782
00:26:57,150 --> 00:27:02,060
And if you, you look at it like your
penis workout as well as your gym workout,

783
00:27:02,060 --> 00:27:05,660
you know, you could fit it in and nobody
even has to know that you're doing it

784
00:27:05,660 --> 00:27:08,690
because you could be sitting at your
desk working and you're sitting there

785
00:27:08,690 --> 00:27:10,370
doing you, you're making your dick jump.

786
00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:10,550
Yeah.

787
00:27:10,580 --> 00:27:12,050
For 10, 15 times.

788
00:27:12,050 --> 00:27:12,110
Yeah.

789
00:27:12,490 --> 00:27:15,655
You know, I. I'm telling you, you
know, you've been skipping leg

790
00:27:15,655 --> 00:27:18,385
day and pelvic day all this time.

791
00:27:18,955 --> 00:27:21,145
You should have been putting
in bold, I'm telling you.

792
00:27:21,150 --> 00:27:21,400
There

793
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:21,610
you go.

794
00:27:21,610 --> 00:27:24,805
Now another big portion, another
big tip that I want to give

795
00:27:24,805 --> 00:27:27,565
you is breathing and relaxing.

796
00:27:27,665 --> 00:27:30,575
Because a lot of us, we
hold our breath during sex.

797
00:27:30,605 --> 00:27:32,495
I've seen myself do it early on.

798
00:27:32,495 --> 00:27:34,565
I used to really hold my breath.

799
00:27:35,525 --> 00:27:38,975
That really increases your
tension when you hold your breath.

800
00:27:39,575 --> 00:27:41,165
Women like men that moan.

801
00:27:42,035 --> 00:27:42,125
Yes.

802
00:27:42,485 --> 00:27:48,675
And in order to produce that, that thing
that women love, you have to breathe.

803
00:27:48,885 --> 00:27:49,005
Mm-hmm.

804
00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:53,415
And I'm not talking that rabbit,
that rabbit fucking breathing words.

805
00:27:53,915 --> 00:27:54,185
No, don't

806
00:27:54,185 --> 00:27:54,725
be a dog.

807
00:27:54,725 --> 00:27:54,995
No, no, no.

808
00:27:55,495 --> 00:27:57,085
I'm talking control.

809
00:27:57,085 --> 00:27:58,465
The slow breathing.

810
00:27:58,465 --> 00:27:58,770
Mm, mm-hmm.

811
00:27:58,795 --> 00:28:00,565
It lowers your adrenaline.

812
00:28:01,420 --> 00:28:04,060
If you're going real fast,
that's gonna raise your anxiety.

813
00:28:04,060 --> 00:28:05,230
You got, you want to go slow?

814
00:28:05,230 --> 00:28:05,320
Yes.

815
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,750
You wanna take it easy, relax your body.

816
00:28:07,990 --> 00:28:12,400
If you feel like you're getting real
tense, it's not gonna work for you.

817
00:28:12,405 --> 00:28:12,475
Mm-hmm.

818
00:28:12,555 --> 00:28:14,980
If you're relaxed, you
can go a lot longer.

819
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:15,430
Yeah.

820
00:28:15,770 --> 00:28:19,910
The simple trick is basically deep,
slow breathing during intense moments.

821
00:28:19,910 --> 00:28:22,760
Now don't, you don't have
to go slow the entire time.

822
00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:23,030
Right.

823
00:28:23,090 --> 00:28:25,670
I change it up from time to
time, you know, I go slow, I

824
00:28:25,670 --> 00:28:27,110
go fast, I go slow, I go fast.

825
00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:27,920
Uh, but.

826
00:28:28,420 --> 00:28:32,410
I think, and I'm not an expert on,
on tantra here, and at some point we

827
00:28:32,410 --> 00:28:37,090
are gonna have an expert on tantra,
uh, which is basically utilizing a

828
00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:41,330
lot of deep breathing and certain
stretching and motions mm-hmm.

829
00:28:41,570 --> 00:28:44,840
To make your sex sessions last longer.

830
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:48,320
And a lot of it revolves
around deep, slow.

831
00:28:48,645 --> 00:28:52,305
Breathing, purposeful movements
are very, very important.

832
00:28:52,635 --> 00:28:52,905
I like that.

833
00:28:52,905 --> 00:28:53,205
So, yeah.

834
00:28:53,715 --> 00:28:54,495
Yeah, for sure.

835
00:28:54,495 --> 00:28:55,385
So that's, that's the

836
00:28:55,385 --> 00:28:55,745
big deal.

837
00:28:55,745 --> 00:29:00,275
I mean, that, those are some
helpful tips I, I think will

838
00:29:00,395 --> 00:29:02,735
be beneficial for a lot of men.

839
00:29:03,545 --> 00:29:03,935
Yeah.

840
00:29:03,935 --> 00:29:04,175
Like,

841
00:29:04,245 --> 00:29:09,005
This is help, you should do this
anyway, just to help your dick out.

842
00:29:09,745 --> 00:29:11,485
Hey man, that's gonna
be one of your friends.

843
00:29:11,485 --> 00:29:12,235
You gotta take care of it.

844
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:12,900
Yes, yes.

845
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,050
Uh, like I said, change positions.

846
00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:16,730
Use your hands or your mouth.

847
00:29:16,735 --> 00:29:16,845
And

848
00:29:16,845 --> 00:29:17,485
you said slow focus

849
00:29:17,485 --> 00:29:18,045
on the pleasure.

850
00:29:18,185 --> 00:29:18,405
Yes.

851
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,470
You said slow down because we, I
do not like to be jack hammered.

852
00:29:21,620 --> 00:29:22,610
That is not my thing.

853
00:29:22,610 --> 00:29:26,300
I will stop you mid stroke and be like,
yeah, this is not working out for me.

854
00:29:26,660 --> 00:29:26,960
You know?

855
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,170
And I know that there's a lot of guys
who think that, that looks great because

856
00:29:30,470 --> 00:29:32,720
they've watched the porn from 1988.

857
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:33,020
Nope.

858
00:29:33,050 --> 00:29:35,000
And, and they're like, oh,
this is the way they liked it.

859
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:35,600
You know, it's like.

860
00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:42,700
People do that because oftentimes they
think that that's what people want.

861
00:29:42,940 --> 00:29:43,030
Mm-hmm.

862
00:29:43,390 --> 00:29:46,275
Uh, a lot of guys will do that because
they think that women like it that way.

863
00:29:46,275 --> 00:29:46,555
Mm-hmm.

864
00:29:46,635 --> 00:29:50,350
Some people do, and you know,
you could talk to them about

865
00:29:50,350 --> 00:29:58,180
it, but most people, most women,
like slow, sensual, long strokes.

866
00:29:58,210 --> 00:29:58,390
Yes.

867
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,140
Be purposeful with your movements.

868
00:30:01,140 --> 00:30:01,440
There you go.

869
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:02,400
With your actions.

870
00:30:02,430 --> 00:30:04,380
Yeah, because the idea here is not.

871
00:30:04,755 --> 00:30:05,715
For you to come.

872
00:30:05,805 --> 00:30:07,995
The idea here is for both of you.

873
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:08,330
Mm-hmm.

874
00:30:08,445 --> 00:30:10,155
To have a lot of pleasure.

875
00:30:10,155 --> 00:30:10,695
Pleasure, yes.

876
00:30:10,695 --> 00:30:11,010
You know?

877
00:30:11,235 --> 00:30:11,415
Yes.

878
00:30:11,445 --> 00:30:12,945
Now, does that mean
that you're gonna come?

879
00:30:13,005 --> 00:30:13,455
Maybe not.

880
00:30:13,785 --> 00:30:15,255
I've had sessions where I did not.

881
00:30:15,255 --> 00:30:17,450
I've had sessions where
don't, she did not.

882
00:30:17,450 --> 00:30:17,460
Mm-hmm.

883
00:30:17,935 --> 00:30:19,995
But we've still enjoyed those sessions.

884
00:30:19,995 --> 00:30:23,410
It's, it's a matter of you, what are
you looking to accomplish with this

885
00:30:23,410 --> 00:30:26,860
person that you're playing with, whether
it be your partner or somebody else.

886
00:30:27,140 --> 00:30:29,870
Now, like I said, a huge, huge.

887
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:31,780
Portion of it is the mental side.

888
00:30:31,780 --> 00:30:34,630
So overthinking performance
can make it worse.

889
00:30:34,630 --> 00:30:36,880
Like I said, I've had
years of overthinking.

890
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,930
I've made my situation worse, but it's
also kind of helped me in figuring me out.

891
00:30:41,350 --> 00:30:43,660
Don't forget that the goal
is not lasting forever.

892
00:30:43,660 --> 00:30:46,120
Nobody wants a sex session
that lasts five hours.

893
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:46,775
No that's nuts.

894
00:30:46,875 --> 00:30:47,095
We

895
00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:48,235
do not, we do not.

896
00:30:48,385 --> 00:30:50,005
No, it's, it's mutual pleasure.

897
00:30:50,095 --> 00:30:50,395
Yeah.

898
00:30:50,395 --> 00:30:51,505
What mutual pleasure.

899
00:30:51,505 --> 00:30:51,775
Yeah.

900
00:30:52,165 --> 00:30:56,185
Uh, when you're with new people,
there can be pressure to impress.

901
00:30:57,065 --> 00:31:01,295
If you're present and engaged, you're
already ahead of half the guys out there.

902
00:31:01,565 --> 00:31:01,745
Yeah.

903
00:31:02,465 --> 00:31:02,735
Yeah.

904
00:31:03,095 --> 00:31:08,635
So with that, to my listeners out there
and to my friend who went ahead and sent

905
00:31:08,635 --> 00:31:10,675
us this message, I love you, my friend.

906
00:31:10,675 --> 00:31:12,145
I appreciate you reaching out with that.

907
00:31:12,625 --> 00:31:16,065
I will tell you, they sometimes
we distract ourselves so much

908
00:31:16,065 --> 00:31:17,745
that we can lose arousal.

909
00:31:17,805 --> 00:31:17,925
Yeah.

910
00:31:18,230 --> 00:31:21,210
You mentioned that, uh,
distraction works temporarily.

911
00:31:21,885 --> 00:31:23,295
But it can backfire.

912
00:31:23,385 --> 00:31:23,475
Mm-hmm.

913
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:28,675
And, and so you, yeah, you can distract
yourself to a certain point but you

914
00:31:28,675 --> 00:31:30,175
really want to try all the other stuff.

915
00:31:30,325 --> 00:31:34,675
Pacing, breathing, switching
stimulation, focusing on your partner.

916
00:31:34,775 --> 00:31:37,085
That all will help lengthen.

917
00:31:37,835 --> 00:31:40,895
The whole start and stop, instead
of trying to think about baseball

918
00:31:40,895 --> 00:31:45,155
stats or taxes, just learn
how to control that throttle.

919
00:31:45,425 --> 00:31:46,145
There you go.

920
00:31:46,235 --> 00:31:46,595
Yeah.

921
00:31:46,775 --> 00:31:47,345
That's nice.

922
00:31:47,345 --> 00:31:50,915
I like that because it's, it,
it's very helpful and I know a

923
00:31:50,915 --> 00:31:53,765
lot of people overthink it when,
especially when you're at the club.

924
00:31:54,095 --> 00:31:54,245
Yeah.

925
00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:54,530
There's lot of people around.

926
00:31:55,145 --> 00:31:57,005
There's, it can be overstimulating

927
00:31:57,010 --> 00:31:57,330
big time.

928
00:31:58,325 --> 00:32:00,005
Your first experience?

929
00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:00,695
Oh man.

930
00:32:00,725 --> 00:32:02,175
It's it'll happen either

931
00:32:02,175 --> 00:32:04,545
gonna, I've told, I've told couples
that we've been with, I'm like, uh,

932
00:32:04,545 --> 00:32:07,725
if I, I'm talking to the girl, I'm
like, the first time I'm gonna be

933
00:32:07,725 --> 00:32:09,705
with you, I'm gonna finish fast.

934
00:32:09,735 --> 00:32:09,975
Yeah.

935
00:32:09,975 --> 00:32:11,235
Like, there's just no, I I It's

936
00:32:11,235 --> 00:32:11,805
just what it is.

937
00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:12,675
Have communication.

938
00:32:12,705 --> 00:32:13,095
Yeah.

939
00:32:13,095 --> 00:32:16,245
Honestly, if you say that out loud
and it's already expected, like

940
00:32:16,245 --> 00:32:19,305
you put it out there, if it doesn't
happen, they're pleasantly surprised.

941
00:32:19,335 --> 00:32:19,515
Yeah.

942
00:32:19,545 --> 00:32:22,485
If it does happen, you've already
talked about it and it's normalized.

943
00:32:22,485 --> 00:32:22,755
Exactly.

944
00:32:22,995 --> 00:32:23,985
There's no embarrassment

945
00:32:23,985 --> 00:32:23,995
there.

946
00:32:24,585 --> 00:32:28,065
So definitely communication
as always is the number one.

947
00:32:28,065 --> 00:32:28,155
Yes.

948
00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,565
'cause this is not lifestyle Olympics.

949
00:32:29,925 --> 00:32:31,965
Nobody is gonna give you a gold medal.

950
00:32:32,465 --> 00:32:33,245
You know what I'm saying?

951
00:32:33,245 --> 00:32:33,995
I mean, I might,

952
00:32:34,955 --> 00:32:35,405
I don't know.

953
00:32:35,465 --> 00:32:36,365
I'll give you a high five.

954
00:32:36,365 --> 00:32:36,815
There you go.

955
00:32:36,815 --> 00:32:37,385
She does that.

956
00:32:37,385 --> 00:32:38,135
She gives a high five.

957
00:32:38,135 --> 00:32:38,225
I do.

958
00:32:38,765 --> 00:32:39,095
Yeah.

959
00:32:39,365 --> 00:32:41,795
And if you're listening and
thinking, okay, that actually helped.

960
00:32:41,795 --> 00:32:44,885
Remember, these are
skills that you can learn.

961
00:32:45,035 --> 00:32:45,245
Yes.

962
00:32:45,545 --> 00:32:46,835
Nobody is born.

963
00:32:47,045 --> 00:32:48,515
Knowing how to control this stuff.

964
00:32:48,515 --> 00:32:50,345
Like this is stuff that you have to learn.

965
00:32:50,375 --> 00:32:50,735
Yes.

966
00:32:50,735 --> 00:32:52,955
And honestly, communication is huge.

967
00:32:52,955 --> 00:32:56,525
If you're relaxed, you're having fun
and you're connecting with your partner,

968
00:32:56,525 --> 00:32:59,915
that's way more important than trying
to put on some kind of performance.

969
00:33:00,215 --> 00:33:00,515
Yeah.

970
00:33:00,515 --> 00:33:03,755
And if you have any questions, if you
have stories, confessions, or topics that

971
00:33:03,755 --> 00:33:05,675
you want to talk to us about on the show.

972
00:33:06,305 --> 00:33:10,685
Head over to our website,
www do beyond monogamy.com.

973
00:33:11,045 --> 00:33:15,605
You'll find our 100% anonymous
confessional there where you can

974
00:33:15,605 --> 00:33:17,585
send us questions just like this one.

975
00:33:17,915 --> 00:33:20,045
You can also find all of our episodes.

976
00:33:20,690 --> 00:33:24,590
Video clips, our blogs, our posts,
our merch links in our social

977
00:33:24,590 --> 00:33:29,900
media, and our event tab where we
list everywhere we are going to be.

978
00:33:30,020 --> 00:33:35,810
Oh yeah, speaking of events coming
up on March 14th at 9:00 PM.

979
00:33:36,260 --> 00:33:37,340
That's this Saturday.

980
00:33:37,340 --> 00:33:37,400
Yeah.

981
00:33:37,790 --> 00:33:41,450
We'll be celebrating Pris's
Beyond Monogamy Birthday Bash

982
00:33:41,450 --> 00:33:43,160
at Club Eden in San Antonio.

983
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:44,090
Awesome.

984
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,660
So just remember that you
do have to purchase a club

985
00:33:47,660 --> 00:33:49,100
membership in order to attend.

986
00:33:49,100 --> 00:33:49,190
Yes.

987
00:33:49,190 --> 00:33:51,830
So yeah, you can come out and you
can party with us this Saturday,

988
00:33:52,190 --> 00:33:53,400
but don't forget it's not free.

989
00:33:53,830 --> 00:33:54,460
It's my birthday.

990
00:33:54,460 --> 00:33:54,670
That's right.

991
00:33:55,170 --> 00:33:55,740
That's right.

992
00:33:55,740 --> 00:33:57,450
It's open to everybody who listens.

993
00:33:57,690 --> 00:34:01,620
If you want to join us, you wanna, we're
gonna have A-A-V-I-P out there, uh,

994
00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:03,390
and we're gonna be all over the place.

995
00:34:03,660 --> 00:34:04,560
Come say hello.

996
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:05,700
Come hang out with us.

997
00:34:05,850 --> 00:34:07,290
We'd love to meet you guys.

998
00:34:07,350 --> 00:34:08,790
This is something that we'd love to do.

999
00:34:09,100 --> 00:34:10,780
Then on March 22nd.

1000
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:16,010
At 4:00 PM Central, we're hosting
our monthly SDC webinar, and this

1001
00:34:16,010 --> 00:34:19,940
month's topic is red flags and
green flags in the Lifestyle.

1002
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,690
So you can find that information
on our website as well.

1003
00:34:23,900 --> 00:34:24,200
Nice.

1004
00:34:25,070 --> 00:34:27,980
And on March 29th from
6:00 PM to 8:00 PM Central.

1005
00:34:28,855 --> 00:34:34,135
Leading in-person workshop, swingers 1
0 1 at Forbidden Fruit in Austin, Texas.

1006
00:34:34,255 --> 00:34:37,975
And if you wanna know more about
that and attend, you're gonna head

1007
00:34:37,975 --> 00:34:41,125
to www do forbidden fruit.com.

1008
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,430
Slash workshop.

1009
00:34:43,550 --> 00:34:44,270
Oh yeah.

1010
00:34:44,780 --> 00:34:48,620
And the weekend of April 11th, we'll
be at the Texas Desires Hotel takeover,

1011
00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:52,430
where we'll be chopping it up with
everybody and we'll be doing another

1012
00:34:52,430 --> 00:34:54,380
live show from that takeover as well.

1013
00:34:54,380 --> 00:34:57,050
So if you're going out there,
we're gonna see you out there.

1014
00:34:57,050 --> 00:34:58,520
And if you're not going out there,

1015
00:34:58,535 --> 00:34:59,395
you need to be going out

1016
00:34:59,525 --> 00:34:59,875
there.

1017
00:34:59,990 --> 00:35:00,155
You should.

1018
00:35:00,155 --> 00:35:03,920
You should really check out our events tab
and get the information and go out there.

1019
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:04,875
Yes, because it's worth it.

1020
00:35:04,905 --> 00:35:06,260
Even if you just go for the show.

1021
00:35:06,890 --> 00:35:09,020
You could also catch
us on Full Swap Radio.

1022
00:35:09,650 --> 00:35:12,290
Every Thursday at two and 7:00 PM Central.

1023
00:35:12,290 --> 00:35:14,480
And that's full swap radio.com.

1024
00:35:15,170 --> 00:35:15,380
Yes.

1025
00:35:15,380 --> 00:35:18,050
And with that, thank you all
for listening as always, and

1026
00:35:18,110 --> 00:35:19,790
we will see you guys next week.

1027
00:35:20,060 --> 00:35:20,300
Bye.