S1 E7 Beyond Acceptance: The Real Fear of Lifestyle Anxieties

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris. And today we are talking about something

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I can talk all day about, which is lifestyle anxieties.

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Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you're hearing her laugh because I told her

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that. I'm not telling her what the topic is. We're just going to talk about

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it. So today is about anxieties,

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and I'm talking about everything on the table,

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under the table, side to side, every single anxiety that we

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have had in and around the lifestyle.

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Okay. This is what we're talking about today, because I guarantee you, you're out

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there, you're listening, and you're going, oh, man, I have

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anxieties. Well, guess what? You are not the only one. We all have anxieties,

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and me especially. You are just a whole

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suitcase full of anxieties. I am like a really big Chihuahua.

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Just shaken. Yeah. Just shaking. Yes. Yeah. I'm just there in a

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corner, just shaking. Yeah. If you ever see us and. And my

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honey is right next to me and kind of like behind my shoulder,

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it's because he's just having a moment. Only our really good

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friends have seen you in that moment before

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the party, before going out.

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Yeah. So what ends up happening is I'm. I'm always very

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supercharged and ready to go. And then somewhere along

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the lines, like a floor flip of a switch, I get very

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quiet, and you can see the thought. My mind starts

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racing, and then my heart starts racing, and I'm like,

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what am I doing right now? Yes. What am I gonna run into?

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And realistically, where my anxieties lie now is

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more so with the bigger crowds, the bigger events, things like that.

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My anxieties have gotten better over this past year.

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Oh, yeah. Which, as some of you may remember,

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the whole reason why we really got active this year in the

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lifestyle and really got in the mix of groups

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and. And. And. And that sort of thing is because of my

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social anxieties. Yes. It was an experiment to see if I could push

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past it. Yeah. And practice makes perfect kind of idea.

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And that's what it did. It worked. Yeah, it worked. It did. So I have

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gotten better. I'm not fully over it, but I have gotten better. I do not

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have a lot of anxieties. No, you care not about what other

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people think. For the most part, I care not. Yeah. My anxiety

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is. Honestly, we'll probably

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turn around and come back to this another time, but my anxiety is my

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reaction towards others that are

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maybe not in the lifestyle, you. Know,

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I would love for you to expand on. So, for instance,

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we went to a meet and greet this past weekend,

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and this has happened before. Right. So we have it, and we have it at

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a vanilla place, and people start,

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our People start coming in. And I

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am, for instance, wearing a shirt or a

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bodysuit with no bra. So you can see

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my nipples. You can see the piercings, which I don't care. I don't wear a

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bra anyway. Right. It's the fact when we were there that

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there was this group of, this group of guys at this table, and they were

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just. I. Fucking us. All of us and all

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of us even. Lifestyle. No, no, no, they weren't. They were there and they were

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calling their friends to come. Yeah. And so I walk by

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and there's about three guys in this girl. And the guy

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is just sipping his soda. His back is to his table,

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and he is just watching us. But I come right in front of him

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and he says hi. And I just look at him like,

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no, not happening. And then I walk past and

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his friend says, oh, you know, whatever. She's, she's not

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feeling you. And I said, oh, no. Sometimes I, you know, I have to tell

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him, nope, I just don't want to say hi to him. So my reaction is

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always a bad reaction. So I don't, I have.

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So that's My anxiety is to. They're gonna catch me at a wrong time.

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It's funny because you're the only person that I've ever met, and I'm sure there's

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others out there like this, but when it comes to you, you dress

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sexy, you dress very revealing. And then

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when people stare at you out in public, you're like, what the.

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Yes. I don't know.

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Well, because now, now that we, like, even last year,

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I kind of calmed down about that. Yeah. But previous

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to that. So I, I, I know that lifestyle, it doesn't bother

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you anymore, but in the vanilla world, when people ogle you,

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you, you get very offended. Yes. It's like dude, don't talk to

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my tits. Yeah. I can be in a T shirt and these

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men are just like, oh, my God, that's true. Salivating.

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I've seen you fully clothed and very not revealing.

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Still they talk and I'm like, what the heck? So, yeah. No,

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my anxiety is more so my reaction to

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things, I think. And that's why I. We stop a lot and

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I talk to you about certain feelings because I can have a

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bad hood reaction. Oh, man. Yeah.

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You're ready to fight every. Yes. And I'm like, no,

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you are. You cannot be fighting. I know. Yeah. Luckily for

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me, you tend to take a step back. Yeah. Before you react.

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And you normally pull me off to the side and you're like, look, this is

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what's going on. Yeah. We either need to go or you need to calm me

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down. Yeah. And you usually do. So my. So I don't have the

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performance anxiety like you do or not. Well, you know

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what I mean. You know, I got. I got things that I'm talking about too.

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So go ahead. Let's not jump the gun there. Go ahead. Boo bear.

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Goodness. I know you're just ready to throw me out there,

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you know, so one of the things that really popped into my

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head, and this is something that I. I've always struggled with in

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the vanilla world, but especially out here in the lifestyle,

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is the fear of being accepted. And I wish

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I was one of those that just didn't give a fuck

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because I've seen them. I've seen them out there.

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I've seen them in the groups and they could

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sit there by themselves or they can sit there, you know, in the middle of

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everything and not care. Yeah.

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Whether or not they're being accepted, they're just going to have a good time.

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I've never been that guy, ever.

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I have always had it in the back of my head that I wanted to

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be accepted by the cool kids. Yeah. You know, I wanted to be able to

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sit at the cool tape and did. I know.

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Absolutely. Right. And so going into the

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lifestyle, it is what we make of it, right? Yes. So that's very

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true. If we. If we want to be quiet

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and private and don't want to be very inviting,

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we're going to be treated as such. But if we're.

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If we're out in the open, if we're inviting

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and inclusive,

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we'll. We'll basically be welcoming these people around us

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and giving them a shot that, you know, we maybe have

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not been given in the past. And so that's really, what I do now

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is I am inclusive and accepting of everybody.

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As far as I'm concerned, everybody can sit at my table.

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There's always a chair for them. And I want to make sure that

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there's nobody who is feeling like they

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cannot be a part of this community. I think

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it's a shame when people feel that way. Yeah. No, they do.

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There's a lot of our friends that have talked to us about feeling

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that way. Yeah. You know, just not included and whatnot.

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And I kind of felt like that when we first moved here and we first

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got into the groups, because I was like, man, these girls, these ladies all

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have their own little community, and I'm not included. But I didn't know any of

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them. Right. Right Now I know as you're getting to know them, they're getting to

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know you because it's starting to become. Yes, you are

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very sweet, and you're very inclusive, and you're very kind

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to everybody. And that is something that.

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It does not come natural to me. It's new to you. It's new.

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I'm not a bitch, so I'm not mean to everybody. I'm very, very nice to

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everybody. But I can see true colors sometimes.

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And you feed off of. I feed off of vibes. And so you had to

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really tell me and remind me. And every single day,

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every time we go out somewhere, you're like,

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remember, be nice. Be sweet.

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Don't be. Don't be aggressive. Don't, you know,

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don't. Don't do the face. Don't be snobby. Don't be snobby.

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Snobby. We don't want to do that. No. Yeah. No. And what's

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funny is I don't know if being inclusive

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and accepting is a natural thing for me. When I was

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younger, I was not accepted,

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and I was not included in a lot of stuff. And like I

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said, I wanted to be accepted. Yeah. As I got older,

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I realized that I didn't like that feeling, and it did

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emotional damage in a way, and I don't want anybody

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feeling like that. So that really is the motive there to including

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everybody is I just don't want anybody to feel bad. Yeah. You know,

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and if that means that I maybe have to be a little uncomfortable

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because maybe we don't vibe very well, then so be it,

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because they're gonna. They're gonna be invited to sit with us. You know what I

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mean? Yeah. So that is definitely a big one for me,

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but it rivals my fear of rejection.

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Okay. And I brought this up before fear of rejection.

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And the thing about it is,

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you're going to hear in the lifestyle two different voices.

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The first voice is a person saying,

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I am deathly afraid to be rejected in

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the lifestyle. I don't want to put myself out there because

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I know if I do, being told no is going to

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just wreck me. Yeah. And then you have the other voice in

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the lifestyle who says, well, you don't

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have rejection because, you know,

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you, you should be being every. You should be everybody's friend.

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Yes. There should be no rejection. Yes. And I,

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and I understand that mentality of thinking. I get it.

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There shouldn't be, you know, you shouldn't be considering something. Rejection.

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It's of somebody's personal preference. Yeah. It's not

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anything against you, but I. Think it stems back from like,

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just, just your growing up. I suppose so. But,

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you know, even then, like, I've grown a lot in this lifestyle.

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And I get what you're saying. As far as, you know,

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you don't. You shouldn't have to worry about rejection. You should just be everybody's

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friend and that sort of thing, which is what. I do, and let it happen

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organically. Let it happen organically, which is how I do things.

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But realistically, even when it starts

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coming up organically,

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there is that point where you have to put yourself

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out there, whether it be making the

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first move, making a kiss, you know,

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asking if you want to take things to the bedroom, whatever it is. There is

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a certain point in your. Time there that you can

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be told. No, where you can be told no. And people

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are like, well, it could be just a personal preference or it could be a

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bad day. Well, it doesn't matter as far as that.

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It still takes the wind out of my sail.

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Okay. And it's, it's, it's for somebody

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who maybe has past trauma as far

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as, you know, self confidence and that sort of thing.

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When you think things are going well and you're told no,

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you go very inside yourself and you're like, oh, my gosh,

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I knew that was going to happen. I'm just not attractive and

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I'm not liked and I'm just, you know, you start beating yourself up

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and it's unrealistic. It is. You know, we've told no

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to people because it. We didn't have enough time. Or, you know,

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there's different reasons. Yeah. For no. Yeah. But it's

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very easy to get back inside yourself and go,

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I know why I was told. Well, I'm sorry to everybody that I've told.

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No, for my preference. Yeah.

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I mean, it depends how you come at me. So it's.

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So I will say that it depends how you come at me, but I'm sorry.

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Depends on how. How they. How they come at me, how they ask me.

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I'll come at you. I thought you said come on you. Oh,

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yeah, that would. That would be. That's. That.

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That could definitely be an anxiety. I see that.

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Yeah. Yeah. So fear of rejection is.

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Is really, like I said, I can understand both. Both voices

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in that argument, but it's something that's never going to go away

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for me. Yeah. So that is definitely a

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big one. Now you had

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mentioned earlier and it was something on my list.

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Okay. The fear of those

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uncontrollable boundary pushers. Yeah.

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And having to put them in their place

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00:13:57,422 --> 00:14:00,542
or having to tell them. No. You know,

230
00:14:00,646 --> 00:14:03,966
not everybody's comfortable with that. Not everybody's comfortable with

231
00:14:04,038 --> 00:14:07,770
having to tell somebody. Hey, you need to back off. Because there is

232
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:12,094
a bit of tension in that. Yes. Having to tell somebody.

233
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:15,774
Hey, you didn't ask me. Priscilla's nicer now.

234
00:14:15,862 --> 00:14:19,438
Priscilla is nicer now. I remember you threatening to punch the hell

235
00:14:19,454 --> 00:14:22,670
out of somebody who grabbed your ass. Yeah, we had. We went to a bar

236
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:26,774
and it was a. We were hanging out with some vanilla friends

237
00:14:26,902 --> 00:14:30,678
and we posted it that we were at this bar and then these

238
00:14:30,734 --> 00:14:34,566
new group of people that have been dying to meet us or they. We've crossed

239
00:14:34,598 --> 00:14:37,878
paths before. We went to a bar, they met, they were there,

240
00:14:37,934 --> 00:14:42,070
they decided to show up. And I was wearing a dress and leaning against the

241
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:46,086
table, standing next to you and another friend who was vanilla

242
00:14:46,198 --> 00:14:49,462
and this guy turned around, reached up and touched my

243
00:14:49,486 --> 00:14:52,742
dress and touched my ass. Grabbed my ass right up, right up under

244
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:56,352
your ass. Right up under my dress and grabbed a cheek full

245
00:14:56,376 --> 00:15:00,224
of Nalga. Yeah. And I remember telling

246
00:15:00,272 --> 00:15:03,760
him that he's about to lose his fucking life because

247
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,168
he did that. And it was all calm. You and my friend calm

248
00:15:07,184 --> 00:15:10,800
me down. Right. Yeah. But things like that. So now I am. I am much

249
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,816
nicer. I do. I do understand when we go out,

250
00:15:14,888 --> 00:15:18,144
it's crowded and I do understand that people

251
00:15:18,232 --> 00:15:21,524
are going to approach me

252
00:15:21,692 --> 00:15:25,680
in a way. But if you're a friend

253
00:15:26,220 --> 00:15:29,620
and we're cool and you approach me a certain

254
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:33,480
way and I know that you are under the influence,

255
00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:37,348
I will be very, very sweet to you. Yeah. Yeah.

256
00:15:37,444 --> 00:15:40,916
Now if you approach me and we've never

257
00:15:40,988 --> 00:15:44,772
spoken and you think you can do that,

258
00:15:44,956 --> 00:15:48,062
then. Then I'm gonna put you in your place. Yeah. That I

259
00:15:48,086 --> 00:15:51,486
Mean that you don't know this person. No. You don't know

260
00:15:51,558 --> 00:15:54,942
what they're going through. You're just gonna go up to somebody and just touch them

261
00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:58,894
without consent. That's. Yeah, that's an issue. And women do it to women.

262
00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:02,142
Oh, yeah, yeah. Like we do. Like I do. Yeah, we do it.

263
00:16:02,246 --> 00:16:05,582
Women do it to women. But. And that

264
00:16:05,606 --> 00:16:08,846
doesn't make it better. It doesn't make it better. The double standard

265
00:16:08,878 --> 00:16:11,694
kind of sucks. It's a double standard sucks. And it's there.

266
00:16:11,782 --> 00:16:15,392
Yeah, it is there. But I

267
00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:18,944
mean, I don't know. My. That's. That's my thing. I just don't. I'm scared

268
00:16:18,992 --> 00:16:22,800
I'm going to sometimes tell somebody off a certain way.

269
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,592
Yeah. Yeah. And I know that part of your fear in that is that you

270
00:16:26,616 --> 00:16:29,888
don't want to embarrass me. No. So you trying to keep. And I don't

271
00:16:29,904 --> 00:16:32,512
want to embarrass them. Yeah, you don't want to embarrass anyone. I don't want to

272
00:16:32,536 --> 00:16:36,192
cause a scene. Yeah, I get that. So, yeah, when people push boundaries like

273
00:16:36,216 --> 00:16:39,552
that, it is a. It's a trigger for me because I

274
00:16:39,576 --> 00:16:43,314
am very. I'm very. I don't know. I don't even know what

275
00:16:43,322 --> 00:16:46,674
the word is. What's that word? Like, I'm not hood.

276
00:16:46,802 --> 00:16:50,482
I'm not. No. What is that word? I don't

277
00:16:50,506 --> 00:16:54,034
know. We could be here all day. I know. I'm just. I don't want to

278
00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:57,762
make you feel embarrassed, so if. When it comes to me, don't. Don't push your

279
00:16:57,786 --> 00:17:01,506
boundaries. And, you know, that's not even. That's. That's in person,

280
00:17:01,578 --> 00:17:05,074
but that's also online because you get a lot of messages. Oh, my goodness.

281
00:17:05,122 --> 00:17:08,662
From different guys. I just showed you one. Yeah. Since you. Since you

282
00:17:08,686 --> 00:17:12,806
put yourself out there, as far as our podcast, as far as the tiktoks

283
00:17:12,838 --> 00:17:16,134
and all the. The. The content that we're creating, and you're

284
00:17:16,182 --> 00:17:20,006
involved in a lot of different groups, people think that because

285
00:17:20,078 --> 00:17:23,670
you have cleavage and because you're a lifestyle member

286
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,982
of the community, that it's okay to just send you a

287
00:17:27,006 --> 00:17:30,290
message, basically saying what?

288
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:34,394
Well, this one, this last one was that I had

289
00:17:34,542 --> 00:17:37,970
porno tits and he just

290
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:41,570
wanted to, like, ravage them. I don't know what it is that. That just

291
00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:44,882
irks me. Yeah. I don't know this guy. You know,

292
00:17:44,906 --> 00:17:47,870
it's. It's lack of control. Yeah, I.

293
00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:51,426
I understand and don't understand because I

294
00:17:51,498 --> 00:17:54,898
actually, you know, some. Everybody gets those moments where you're

295
00:17:54,914 --> 00:17:58,450
just. Oh, you're just so turned on. Like, you just have to have.

296
00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:01,158
Yeah. Some sort of sexual attention.

297
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:04,950
Okay. And I. I think that a lot of these

298
00:18:04,990 --> 00:18:07,410
guys who randomly message like that,

299
00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:10,934
they have those feelings of, oh, my gosh. Like they see you and

300
00:18:10,942 --> 00:18:13,510
they're just like, oh, my gosh, I just got to talk to her. She's so

301
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:17,334
hot. Yeah. And then the. They lead in with stuff like that.

302
00:18:17,502 --> 00:18:20,934
And it's like not gonna. Yeah. Do you think that that's gonna work?

303
00:18:21,022 --> 00:18:24,550
Yeah. Like, do you think that that little line right there is gonna make

304
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:28,280
my wife go, let me take off my clothes and find

305
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,160
this person? I mean, maybe it works for people.

306
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,680
But I can't see how. I can't see how. You know what also is

307
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:38,580
a boundary. Like people that once they sleep with you,

308
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,056
a lot of people think it's a free for all. Yeah.

309
00:18:42,168 --> 00:18:45,528
Yeah. And it's not the case. Yeah, it's not the case.

310
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:49,048
Because I could be in a different mindset. You never

311
00:18:49,104 --> 00:18:52,834
know how people are. Right. You can be in a different mindset.

312
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:56,258
So, yeah, the boundary pushers. I'm always scared we're going to go into

313
00:18:56,314 --> 00:18:59,346
some, like, a place and be like, someone's going to come up to me.

314
00:18:59,418 --> 00:19:02,882
Maybe we already slept with them. And they want to be like uber

315
00:19:02,946 --> 00:19:06,178
aggressive on the grabbing and.

316
00:19:06,234 --> 00:19:10,210
And stuff like that. And it's like, you need to catch me,

317
00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:13,842
you know, or just maybe ask. Yeah, you know,

318
00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:17,138
I've seen your tits. Can I see them again? It doesn't take much, just.

319
00:19:17,194 --> 00:19:20,086
Not for me it doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. So that's. I mean,

320
00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:23,366
those uncontrollable boundary pushers are the worst.

321
00:19:23,478 --> 00:19:26,998
And, you know, sometimes they're under the influence, sometimes they're just assholes.

322
00:19:27,174 --> 00:19:31,130
This is what it is. Speaking of assholes.

323
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:35,254
Fear of liars. Okay. This is a big one.

324
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:39,654
And kind of goes into these people that message you because sometimes

325
00:19:39,702 --> 00:19:43,350
you don't know if they're a real profile. Sometimes you

326
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:46,758
don't know if they're people who are collecting pictures or

327
00:19:46,814 --> 00:19:50,120
videos or whatever. You just don't know who's on the up and up.

328
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:54,024
And not a lot of groups do any kind of verifications.

329
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:57,944
You've actually started doing verifications on people who message you now? Yes.

330
00:19:57,992 --> 00:20:01,528
Haven't you? Yes. Actually, I had a girl message me yesterday. Really?

331
00:20:01,664 --> 00:20:05,272
And she asked if she could friend me. I said sure because she saw me

332
00:20:05,296 --> 00:20:09,176
on a. We were communicating on a post and I said sure.

333
00:20:09,328 --> 00:20:13,000
And she did. And she proceeded to talk.

334
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,856
Really cool. Right. And then she said, do you have any pictures? And I said,

335
00:20:15,968 --> 00:20:19,424
yeah, on my Facebook. And she sent me a picture of

336
00:20:19,432 --> 00:20:22,416
her that was already on her Facebook. And I said, yeah,

337
00:20:22,448 --> 00:20:25,216
that's not going to work for me. If you want to continue this conversation,

338
00:20:25,328 --> 00:20:28,224
you're going to take a picture of yourself right now and you're going to get

339
00:20:28,232 --> 00:20:31,580
a piece of paper with today's date and you're going to send it to me.

340
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,264
And if you don't do that, then we're, I'm going to block you. So I

341
00:20:35,272 --> 00:20:38,752
waited like five minutes and I saw the little bubbles coming and going, coming and

342
00:20:38,776 --> 00:20:42,710
going. And I said, you have one minute or I'm blocking you.

343
00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:46,826
And never happened. And I blocked her and I reported her profile.

344
00:20:46,938 --> 00:20:51,626
That was it. And I was like, because I've been catfished.

345
00:20:51,738 --> 00:20:55,882
Yeah. And we both have had people message us that are just

346
00:20:55,986 --> 00:20:59,882
fake profiles. Fake profiles. Yeah. So I, I, I vet my

347
00:20:59,906 --> 00:21:03,402
own papers. Yeah. Well, you know, you're doing really good now because

348
00:21:03,506 --> 00:21:05,946
I guess it's one of those things where we had to learn from our mistakes.

349
00:21:05,978 --> 00:21:09,848
Yeah. And I don't friend any, I rarely friend people or

350
00:21:09,904 --> 00:21:12,340
communicate with people I have not met.

351
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,840
Why I did that yesterday, don't even know. Yeah,

352
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,688
well, you know, it's just one of those things that,

353
00:21:19,824 --> 00:21:23,656
it's for a woman, it's a lot worse than

354
00:21:23,728 --> 00:21:27,752
for someone, say, like me. Yeah. I don't get messages that

355
00:21:27,776 --> 00:21:31,288
often. And when I do, it's normally from people I know. Yeah. But from people

356
00:21:31,344 --> 00:21:34,812
that I don't know. Rarely will I get a message.

357
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:39,612
Every now and then I'll get a message from somebody who is this incredibly

358
00:21:39,676 --> 00:21:42,956
hot looking, model esque type woman who's

359
00:21:42,988 --> 00:21:46,220
like, oh my God, you're just so incredibly attractive. That's right.

360
00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:49,340
Oh, my God. I just, I really want to, want to see

361
00:21:49,380 --> 00:21:52,636
more of you and that, and as soon as I see those types of,

362
00:21:52,708 --> 00:21:55,372
of conversations coming at me,

363
00:21:55,476 --> 00:21:58,508
I don't even say anything. I just hit the block button. Yeah.

364
00:21:58,604 --> 00:22:01,924
Because. Come on, dude, you should see my spam. Yeah,

365
00:22:01,972 --> 00:22:05,492
no, I've seen your spam. It's crazy. It's just random.

366
00:22:05,556 --> 00:22:08,756
Just, just men, lots of dudes. It's like,

367
00:22:08,908 --> 00:22:12,404
seriously. Yeah, yeah. I've actually thumbed through it before and I'm like,

368
00:22:12,412 --> 00:22:16,004
oh my God. Yeah, there's a lot, there's a lot of them. There's a lot

369
00:22:16,012 --> 00:22:19,524
of them. And there, and you know, I, I feel like when they're,

370
00:22:19,652 --> 00:22:22,996
I, I don't like liars. So if I know that you're a fake, Profile or

371
00:22:23,068 --> 00:22:26,730
somebody that's not a true person,

372
00:22:27,110 --> 00:22:30,702
I will block you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know,

373
00:22:30,886 --> 00:22:33,770
I can tell you that one of my.

374
00:22:34,150 --> 00:22:37,422
My fears, and I know that this isn't something that you

375
00:22:37,526 --> 00:22:41,998
really deal with. One of my fears is not

376
00:22:42,054 --> 00:22:45,582
being able to find someone who's actually physically attracted to

377
00:22:45,606 --> 00:22:49,054
me. Now, it's not as bad as

378
00:22:49,062 --> 00:22:52,146
if I were single. If I were single, I think that would really, really hurt

379
00:22:52,178 --> 00:22:56,226
me. At least if I walk away, you know, without any kind of

380
00:22:56,378 --> 00:23:00,626
attention from anybody. I've always got you, so that always

381
00:23:00,698 --> 00:23:04,230
makes me feel good. I'm married, you know, you have to give me attention.

382
00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:07,330
But in this lifestyle, you know,

383
00:23:07,370 --> 00:23:10,670
obviously there are things that we're looking for,

384
00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:14,594
and it's one of those things where it's like,

385
00:23:14,762 --> 00:23:19,016
you see certain people and you're like, oh, my gosh, that person's really attractive,

386
00:23:19,178 --> 00:23:22,860
or this person's really attractive, and I

387
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:25,948
wonder if they would be interested in me,

388
00:23:26,084 --> 00:23:30,360
you know? And the moment you even try,

389
00:23:30,740 --> 00:23:33,884
it's like, yeah, no, they're. They're not interested.

390
00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:37,372
And. And you can walk around and realize there's

391
00:23:37,436 --> 00:23:41,132
probably not a lot of people interested in you, or maybe there are and you

392
00:23:41,156 --> 00:23:44,672
just don't know it. They're not saying. So your anxiety is. Is that they.

393
00:23:44,836 --> 00:23:48,248
My anxiety is this example, okay. We walk

394
00:23:48,304 --> 00:23:52,120
into a sex club, and I

395
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,432
feel like we're both looking on point. Everything looks good. I'm looking like

396
00:23:55,456 --> 00:23:58,740
the money. Right. We walk in together,

397
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,300
and all the eyes are on you, which I'm used to.

398
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,136
But the entire night, I am

399
00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:11,836
completely ignored by everyone.

400
00:24:11,988 --> 00:24:15,356
Doesn't happen. No, it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. But that

401
00:24:15,428 --> 00:24:19,480
is a. An irrational anxiety that I have.

402
00:24:19,860 --> 00:24:23,068
Oh, how silly. It is silly. Yeah. That doesn't happen.

403
00:24:23,204 --> 00:24:26,636
No, it has never happened. No. But in any

404
00:24:26,708 --> 00:24:29,756
given moment, and especially with, like, the big events

405
00:24:29,788 --> 00:24:33,164
that we go to. Yeah, it's like that. I always assume that that's going to

406
00:24:33,172 --> 00:24:36,162
be the case. That's never been the case.

407
00:24:36,316 --> 00:24:40,198
Yeah. And that's why I keep, like, I'm against you. I'm always

408
00:24:40,254 --> 00:24:43,590
holding on to you and that sort of thing, because I expect

409
00:24:43,710 --> 00:24:47,094
when people come up to us, they're. They're gonna bypass me and go straight for

410
00:24:47,102 --> 00:24:49,974
you, and I'm gonna be ignored. Nobody wants to talk to me.

411
00:24:50,142 --> 00:24:53,670
The guy with the irrational fear of

412
00:24:53,710 --> 00:24:57,142
not being accepted has a fear of not

413
00:24:57,166 --> 00:25:00,918
being accepted. Oh, my God. Yeah, I know. I am just

414
00:25:00,974 --> 00:25:05,074
us. I have been ignored. How funny is that? You have been ignored.

415
00:25:05,122 --> 00:25:08,594
I have been ignored. I have had women come up to you and

416
00:25:08,682 --> 00:25:12,034
hi. And grab on your new little beard and oh,

417
00:25:12,082 --> 00:25:14,510
you're so handsome. You're more handsome in person.

418
00:25:15,050 --> 00:25:17,870
Oh, who's. Who's that?

419
00:25:18,570 --> 00:25:22,162
Nobody's ever said, oh, who's that? Of course not. No one's ever said that.

420
00:25:22,266 --> 00:25:26,082
But they know who you are. They just don't know your name. Yeah, you would

421
00:25:26,106 --> 00:25:29,380
think my husband would be like, oh, let me introduce you to my wife.

422
00:25:29,530 --> 00:25:32,128
I do. I'm just. Excuse me.

423
00:25:32,264 --> 00:25:35,456
Do. Even there. I have done that every

424
00:25:35,528 --> 00:25:38,736
single time. Yeah. Or when they don't know. Yeah. No, I've been.

425
00:25:38,808 --> 00:25:42,512
I have been overlooked a few times. And if there's

426
00:25:42,576 --> 00:25:46,288
anybody who puts his spouse

427
00:25:46,384 --> 00:25:49,936
in front of him. Yeah, you do. And me. Yeah, you do that together.

428
00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:53,312
We stuck together. Yeah, man. Like, I'm. I'm rarely by myself,

429
00:25:53,376 --> 00:25:56,160
but when I, you know, every now and then you're like, oh, go get something

430
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,656
from the car. And I'm like, really? You're going to send me through that crowd

431
00:25:58,688 --> 00:26:01,888
of people? And I do. But I watch you. It's ridiculous, man. Or you're

432
00:26:01,904 --> 00:26:05,020
like, oh, this is my cousin. Like.

433
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,640
This is my friend. Do you remember that? Really? You're going to bring

434
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,536
that up? Okay, yeah, let's talk about that.

435
00:26:13,688 --> 00:26:17,632
Let's talk about. So when we were dating and

436
00:26:17,736 --> 00:26:19,940
really just weeks into dating,

437
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:24,608
I had her meet me along with. I had Priscilla

438
00:26:24,624 --> 00:26:28,110
meet me along with three other friends that I was just friends

439
00:26:28,150 --> 00:26:31,406
with. They were girls and they were attractive. Yeah. And they were friends.

440
00:26:31,478 --> 00:26:34,782
Yeah. And we all met at this bar and Priscilla showed up

441
00:26:34,806 --> 00:26:38,878
with her niece and they. They came in and I introduced you as

442
00:26:38,934 --> 00:26:42,542
my friend. And I remember look like looking like, doing something to

443
00:26:42,566 --> 00:26:45,054
my shoe. And you said, my friend. And I looked up at you and I

444
00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:48,766
was like, and I'm his girlfriend.

445
00:26:48,958 --> 00:26:52,382
Well, I mean, we weren't. We weren't given titles at

446
00:26:52,406 --> 00:26:56,078
that point. Oh, homie, I gave you a title the moment you laid your lips

447
00:26:56,094 --> 00:26:59,834
on me. I can't believe this

448
00:26:59,842 --> 00:27:03,530
is supposed to be about anxiety, okay. My anxiety is being called your

449
00:27:03,570 --> 00:27:07,750
friend. Go. This is what I married. I know.

450
00:27:08,050 --> 00:27:11,466
So one of the other fears that we've had to deal with is.

451
00:27:11,618 --> 00:27:15,546
And not necessarily us, but I've seen it a lot with other

452
00:27:15,618 --> 00:27:18,110
couples is the fear of being outed.

453
00:27:18,530 --> 00:27:21,210
Because this lifestyle. Oh, my goodness.

454
00:27:21,290 --> 00:27:24,602
Yeah. That lifestyle revolves around discretion.

455
00:27:24,666 --> 00:27:28,934
Yeah. And there are people out there who have very sensitive jobs

456
00:27:28,982 --> 00:27:31,750
that maybe. Maybe have morals clause. Yeah.

457
00:27:31,830 --> 00:27:35,062
You know, all it takes is for, you know,

458
00:27:35,166 --> 00:27:38,422
your information to get out there or a

459
00:27:38,446 --> 00:27:42,422
screenshot Or a dirty picture or even a caption. All it

460
00:27:42,446 --> 00:27:46,278
takes is one little thing and you're outed and

461
00:27:46,414 --> 00:27:49,750
boom, you could lose your job. Boom, your kids could lose their education.

462
00:27:49,870 --> 00:27:53,014
Boom, A lot of things could happen. We've had it.

463
00:27:53,102 --> 00:27:56,952
We've had our lifestyle brought up in custody court for kids.

464
00:27:57,086 --> 00:28:00,692
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have brought.

465
00:28:00,836 --> 00:28:04,340
We've had our lifestyle brought up in court. We've had

466
00:28:04,380 --> 00:28:08,068
our only fans brought up in court. We've had our

467
00:28:08,124 --> 00:28:11,556
entire lifestyle. And when we were poly, it was brought up in court.

468
00:28:11,708 --> 00:28:15,160
And when that happened, we were outed.

469
00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:18,804
Yeah, we were not. We were not. Yeah, they fully out with a lot of

470
00:28:18,812 --> 00:28:21,172
that. Yeah, no, they were out. They thought I was going to lie about it.

471
00:28:21,196 --> 00:28:24,556
And we just, We. We. We became very forthcoming,

472
00:28:24,588 --> 00:28:27,740
but that's when we really said, hey, we. We can't keep

473
00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:31,500
this lifestyle very quiet. We're just going to go with it, you know? And so

474
00:28:31,540 --> 00:28:35,340
coming out and not having to be

475
00:28:35,460 --> 00:28:38,188
discreet about it has been very freeing for us.

476
00:28:38,324 --> 00:28:41,724
Yes. Because we don't really care. I do not care.

477
00:28:41,892 --> 00:28:45,756
I work for a great company that's not located in this country,

478
00:28:45,908 --> 00:28:49,178
and they are okay with not asking questions.

479
00:28:49,284 --> 00:28:52,702
They don't care what I do. Yeah. And you work for

480
00:28:52,806 --> 00:28:56,078
a company where they don't really care. Like, it's not discussed.

481
00:28:56,174 --> 00:28:59,342
You know what I mean? So we've lucked out in. In those situations, but there

482
00:28:59,366 --> 00:29:02,174
are a lot of people that we know that have a lot to lose.

483
00:29:02,222 --> 00:29:05,822
Yeah, they do. And they have a big anxiety when it

484
00:29:05,846 --> 00:29:09,486
comes to being outed. Yeah. And so that.

485
00:29:09,558 --> 00:29:13,214
That, I think, is probably a scary one. Do you recall having

486
00:29:13,302 --> 00:29:17,350
that feeling when we first started? I do. I remember

487
00:29:18,170 --> 00:29:22,002
feeling like someone is gonna find out that

488
00:29:22,026 --> 00:29:25,570
we are doing this. And my fear was mainly

489
00:29:25,650 --> 00:29:28,770
no one knew that I was bisexual. And so when it

490
00:29:28,810 --> 00:29:31,602
did come out, when I finally came out,

491
00:29:31,786 --> 00:29:35,282
I told everybody, and I think I even posted it

492
00:29:35,306 --> 00:29:38,482
on Facebook. Yeah, it was this big, long post. It was a big, long post.

493
00:29:38,586 --> 00:29:42,568
And I was really nervous. But the people

494
00:29:42,624 --> 00:29:46,120
that are in our lives still from that have

495
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,232
accepted me the way I am. But I was really scared because I was raised

496
00:29:50,376 --> 00:29:53,220
that you do not do things like that. You know,

497
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:57,656
you don't have sex with the same sex. You don't

498
00:29:57,848 --> 00:30:01,144
open your marriage to any of that, because that's just gonna cause

499
00:30:01,192 --> 00:30:05,672
problems. You know, when we. When we came out and

500
00:30:05,696 --> 00:30:08,616
you came out as bisexual, and I think at that time we were poly.

501
00:30:08,648 --> 00:30:12,628
We came out as poly. I remember we

502
00:30:12,684 --> 00:30:15,876
lost a lot of friends. Oh, I lost a really?

503
00:30:15,948 --> 00:30:19,220
And we lost friend. Yeah. We lost a lot of family. Yes.

504
00:30:19,380 --> 00:30:22,452
We lost all our family, as a matter of fact. Well, we lost a lot

505
00:30:22,476 --> 00:30:25,396
of family because they were gossiping.

506
00:30:25,508 --> 00:30:29,028
Yeah. And the gossiping didn't. I, I, so my family,

507
00:30:29,084 --> 00:30:32,548
I have a lot. My half of my family is Catholic. Yeah. And the other

508
00:30:32,604 --> 00:30:35,920
half is Christian. Christian. And so,

509
00:30:36,380 --> 00:30:40,100
and they're not like, they're like those, did you find Jesus Christians?

510
00:30:40,180 --> 00:30:43,988
Those, those kind. And so, yeah, it was hard. But you,

511
00:30:44,044 --> 00:30:47,572
you're gonna laugh, but those were probably the more accepting of the family

512
00:30:47,676 --> 00:30:50,884
than the Catholic ones. Go figure.

513
00:30:51,012 --> 00:30:54,372
Well, I, I, I think it's, it's not necessarily a

514
00:30:54,396 --> 00:30:57,460
religious thing. I know. It's just your, your family. My family,

515
00:30:57,580 --> 00:31:00,612
yeah. They made it, they made it a religious. Yeah.

516
00:31:00,756 --> 00:31:04,142
And you know, a lot of our friends, you know what I found was when

517
00:31:04,166 --> 00:31:07,758
we came out a lot, there was several of our friends who thought

518
00:31:07,814 --> 00:31:11,694
that we were gonna make a move on them. Oh, yes. Yeah.

519
00:31:11,742 --> 00:31:14,846
So it's like, oh, all of a sudden it's like, oh, you guys are open.

520
00:31:14,998 --> 00:31:18,462
Yeah. Oh, I have to hit on me. I have been told from

521
00:31:18,486 --> 00:31:21,982
people that I'm like, well, I'm not, Don't hit on me like, you're not my.

522
00:31:22,086 --> 00:31:25,262
And I tell them you're not my type. Like, I wouldn't hit

523
00:31:25,286 --> 00:31:29,358
on my friends. Like, man, so close minded. Yeah. Closed off.

524
00:31:29,414 --> 00:31:33,218
Yeah. Yeah. So no, that is a fear for people. Yeah. Being, being, being outed

525
00:31:33,314 --> 00:31:37,138
is, is that. Can really cause some anxiety. Yeah. And you know, we've seen

526
00:31:37,194 --> 00:31:40,866
posts on that where people have come out and they've been like, hey, you know,

527
00:31:41,018 --> 00:31:44,162
people are sharing screenshots. It actually came back to

528
00:31:44,186 --> 00:31:47,842
my boss. I don't know what to do. You know, it's, it's like,

529
00:31:47,866 --> 00:31:51,906
well, you know, talk to an employment lawyer. You know, realistically, our sex

530
00:31:51,978 --> 00:31:55,372
lives should not be the center of communication.

531
00:31:55,546 --> 00:32:00,120
A workplace. No. If you work with other lifestylers,

532
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:04,152
then, you know, you can have that little off work conversation.

533
00:32:04,216 --> 00:32:08,104
Yeah. If you're at work. Yeah. Keep it work. Yeah. You know

534
00:32:08,112 --> 00:32:11,464
what I mean? Don't, don't tell anybody. Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

535
00:32:11,512 --> 00:32:14,920
I think it's the same. There you go. Oh, that's good. Don't dip your pen

536
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,696
in the company. Because we still use ink and, and little feathers

537
00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:21,790
to write. Isn't that.

538
00:32:22,250 --> 00:32:24,310
No. Anyway,

539
00:32:24,890 --> 00:32:28,194
so. Yeah, don't do that.

540
00:32:28,362 --> 00:32:31,954
And you'll probably stay out of trouble as far as work is concerned.

541
00:32:32,002 --> 00:32:34,930
Of course, if somebody shares screenshots and things like that,

542
00:32:34,970 --> 00:32:38,818
that's not really in your control. Right. So things like that

543
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:42,002
have come up in situations like that. You definitely want to get an

544
00:32:42,026 --> 00:32:45,602
employment lawyer involved because if you make

545
00:32:45,626 --> 00:32:48,848
a good salary and it's not a job that you want to leave,

546
00:32:49,034 --> 00:32:52,612
then. Yeah. You're going to want to protect your. Yourself in

547
00:32:52,636 --> 00:32:56,260
any way you can legally. Yes. Yeah. So being outed is such a big

548
00:32:56,300 --> 00:32:59,652
deal. I know. One big fear,

549
00:32:59,716 --> 00:33:03,460
speaking of outing, is bisexuality.

550
00:33:03,620 --> 00:33:07,480
Yes. You had big fears coming out as bisexual.

551
00:33:07,980 --> 00:33:12,228
I have friends, not only female friends, but male friends

552
00:33:12,364 --> 00:33:16,934
who are very afraid to come out as bisexual.

553
00:33:16,982 --> 00:33:20,678
We not only in the vanilla world, but in the lifestyle.

554
00:33:20,774 --> 00:33:23,334
Yes. I was gonna say we have some of the vanilla world and in the

555
00:33:23,342 --> 00:33:27,382
lifestyle there's a. There's a lot of men in the lifestyle

556
00:33:27,526 --> 00:33:31,222
who are bisexual in thought.

557
00:33:31,326 --> 00:33:34,758
Yeah. But are afraid to discuss it out in the open.

558
00:33:34,814 --> 00:33:37,814
They have anxieties about it. But maybe when they're playing,

559
00:33:37,902 --> 00:33:41,340
things will come up and they'll have different experiences and that sort of thing,

560
00:33:41,430 --> 00:33:45,360
but they'll never actually speak up and say, hey, yeah, guess what?

561
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,672
I like men and women. Yeah, I like women and men.

562
00:33:48,776 --> 00:33:52,736
Variety. You know, one, one thing that I,

563
00:33:52,808 --> 00:33:56,000
I always feel bad about, and this is a different part of the

564
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:59,504
bisexuality fears is, guess what? I'm not. No.

565
00:33:59,592 --> 00:34:03,520
And I'm kind of bummed about that. This is funny,

566
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,136
you know. I know, I know. So this is going to sound funny.

567
00:34:07,168 --> 00:34:10,692
I can go. I'm kind of bummed at the fact that I'm not bisexual.

568
00:34:10,756 --> 00:34:14,388
Why is that? Because I have some really awesome,

569
00:34:14,564 --> 00:34:17,732
really attractive male friends. You do?

570
00:34:17,836 --> 00:34:21,716
I do. Yeah. And, you know, I'm. I'm pretty

571
00:34:21,748 --> 00:34:25,316
sure something organically could happen. But, you know, the problem is

572
00:34:25,388 --> 00:34:28,560
that I even, even if my heart's in the right place,

573
00:34:28,860 --> 00:34:32,004
my dick wouldn't get hard. You know, like, it's just, it's just not a

574
00:34:32,012 --> 00:34:35,088
preference for me, unfortunately. But I, it's.

575
00:34:35,284 --> 00:34:38,648
It has. It's a slight anxiety in the fact

576
00:34:38,704 --> 00:34:42,136
that, that somebody would come up to me and

577
00:34:42,208 --> 00:34:45,592
be like, hey, you know, I'm digging you. And, and I

578
00:34:45,696 --> 00:34:48,472
want to know if. You want to play and you have to reject. I'd have

579
00:34:48,496 --> 00:34:51,704
to. I'd have to reject them. Yeah. And that is an anxiety

580
00:34:51,752 --> 00:34:54,952
for me. Yes, it is. Because I don't like to hurt anybody's feelings. I know.

581
00:34:54,976 --> 00:34:57,540
Well, don't, don't take one up just because.

582
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,616
I don't have a male on male experience. Because I don't want to reject somebody.

583
00:35:02,648 --> 00:35:06,240
Yes. No, don't do that. So there's A soft. No, I can give a soft.

584
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,952
Of course. And they understand. That's the one thing that's beautiful about the lifestyle.

585
00:35:10,016 --> 00:35:13,260
That although it may be an anxiety for

586
00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:17,040
them to come up to you and you. Rejection. Yeah. That it's.

587
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:21,120
It's okay. Like. Yeah, yeah. A lot of our. A lot of

588
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:24,784
our friends know that you're straight, and they do. They're cool with that.

589
00:35:24,872 --> 00:35:28,736
I know. I just feel bad because I'm like. You'D be the bear.

590
00:35:28,928 --> 00:35:31,968
Yes. I keep hearing that. Yes, you'd be the bear.

591
00:35:32,144 --> 00:35:35,692
You used to be a cub. You know, we're. We're gonna have to do

592
00:35:35,716 --> 00:35:39,148
a show on all of these words that you keep using because

593
00:35:39,204 --> 00:35:42,732
not everybody knows. Okay. Yes. I'm so down. We'll do that in

594
00:35:42,756 --> 00:35:46,460
a future episode. Okay. For the time being. On Anxieties.

595
00:35:46,540 --> 00:35:49,996
Anxieties. That is. That is. And it sounds

596
00:35:50,028 --> 00:35:53,500
so silly to have such a silly, silly fear, you know.

597
00:35:53,540 --> 00:35:57,340
I wonder if women have that fear, like, I don't know, that are straight and

598
00:35:57,380 --> 00:36:01,302
they're so. I've. I've heard from straight women in the lifestyle,

599
00:36:01,476 --> 00:36:05,378
and many of them feel like they are a rarity,

600
00:36:05,474 --> 00:36:08,962
that they're almost like unicorn status. Straight women in the lifestyle,

601
00:36:09,026 --> 00:36:12,146
because most women are bisexual now. Is that true?

602
00:36:12,258 --> 00:36:15,522
I don't know. That's coming from other straight women,

603
00:36:15,626 --> 00:36:19,282
but I've known several straight women in the lifestyle, so that's kind

604
00:36:19,306 --> 00:36:22,642
of contradictory in and of itself. Yeah. But I would

605
00:36:22,666 --> 00:36:26,370
assume that maybe that is an anxiety for some people.

606
00:36:26,410 --> 00:36:29,774
If it's an anxiety for me, I can't be the only one

607
00:36:29,962 --> 00:36:34,038
who has this anxiety. I'm sure. If you have that anxiety, please reach out,

608
00:36:34,174 --> 00:36:37,366
let us know. Make me feel better, because I have it.

609
00:36:37,518 --> 00:36:40,774
I just don't want to. I don't want to disappoint people. I don't want to

610
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:44,710
make them sad. Okay. And, you know, if. If that

611
00:36:44,750 --> 00:36:47,302
comes, you know, somebody comes up to me and they're like, hey, you know,

612
00:36:47,326 --> 00:36:50,550
I find you attractive. And I'm like, oh, that's nice.

613
00:36:50,710 --> 00:36:54,690
I don't hear that too often from other people.

614
00:36:55,470 --> 00:36:58,710
So, you know, we should have that. Song that goes, wah, wah,

615
00:36:58,790 --> 00:37:02,182
wah. Well, you just did it. I think that's good enough. You know, you are

616
00:37:02,206 --> 00:37:05,766
very handsome. And people tell you all the time. People tell me all the time,

617
00:37:05,838 --> 00:37:09,126
you better stop it. Having it written on the bathroom

618
00:37:09,158 --> 00:37:12,130
wall by my wife is not people telling me all the time.

619
00:37:12,750 --> 00:37:16,134
So that is a fear of mine, but I am a weirdo. I'm going to

620
00:37:16,142 --> 00:37:19,398
tell you this. I am A weirdo because I overthink and

621
00:37:19,454 --> 00:37:22,080
one of my fears is logistics.

622
00:37:22,270 --> 00:37:25,532
Okay, like what? So one of

623
00:37:25,556 --> 00:37:28,460
the things that you want to do is a gang bang.

624
00:37:28,540 --> 00:37:31,884
Yeah, we have talked about this. We have talked about setting up a

625
00:37:31,892 --> 00:37:35,532
gang bang for you as far as getting these guys and all

626
00:37:35,556 --> 00:37:38,940
the things. But logistically speaking, do you realize the pressure that

627
00:37:38,980 --> 00:37:42,140
is in having to set. That up for the guys?

628
00:37:42,220 --> 00:37:45,564
Oh, wait for me. Me to set it up? Oh, I would set it up.

629
00:37:45,732 --> 00:37:49,500
Would you set it up? Well, see, that's the thing is the logistics.

630
00:37:49,580 --> 00:37:52,876
The logistics. Oh my goodness. So we're sitting here, we have to discuss

631
00:37:52,948 --> 00:37:55,336
who's going to set it up. Are you to set it up? Well, guess what,

632
00:37:55,408 --> 00:37:58,904
you're very picky on who you play with. So if you're

633
00:37:58,952 --> 00:38:03,192
not picky, then you already have the contending issues of finding

634
00:38:03,256 --> 00:38:07,096
somebody who is well endowed, who can you properly,

635
00:38:07,208 --> 00:38:10,984
who will, you know, treat things properly, who will

636
00:38:11,072 --> 00:38:14,456
you in front of other guys? Because that's an anxiety. That's anxiety

637
00:38:14,488 --> 00:38:18,200
for a lot of guys. And then they all have to be available at

638
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:21,562
the same time at the same day. Now the first time I. Jesus,

639
00:38:21,626 --> 00:38:25,306
now. You just made that anxiety. Well, you should have had it from the start.

640
00:38:25,378 --> 00:38:28,202
That's what I've been dealing with since you said you wanted one.

641
00:38:28,386 --> 00:38:32,298
So the thing about it is the first time I came across this was

642
00:38:32,434 --> 00:38:35,562
there was this couple that I, I used to follow them on

643
00:38:35,586 --> 00:38:39,130
Twitter and they live locally, they're not far from us,

644
00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:42,506
but they had an only fans and I used to follow them through OnlyFans

645
00:38:42,538 --> 00:38:45,962
and Twitter. And she was attract, she was,

646
00:38:45,986 --> 00:38:50,054
she's attractive. And her big thing was she, she wanted a

647
00:38:50,062 --> 00:38:53,590
gang bang. And she reached out to me because she knew that I was a

648
00:38:53,630 --> 00:38:57,222
fan and she was like, hey, I'm trying to set up this

649
00:38:57,406 --> 00:39:00,726
gang bang. Do you think you would be interested? And I was like,

650
00:39:00,798 --> 00:39:03,730
hell yeah, I'm down for it. Well,

651
00:39:04,030 --> 00:39:07,590
as time went on, you and I had a discussion and

652
00:39:07,630 --> 00:39:10,934
you were like, yeah, I don't want you playing by yourself. Yeah. And so

653
00:39:10,942 --> 00:39:14,022
I was like, okay. So then I contacted them and I was like,

654
00:39:14,046 --> 00:39:16,406
sorry, guys, I won't be able to take part in it. Oh, that's cool.

655
00:39:16,438 --> 00:39:19,924
We've got, we've, we've got about four or five different guys that are

656
00:39:20,012 --> 00:39:22,404
into it and they're, they're signing up for it, so we're good. And I was

657
00:39:22,412 --> 00:39:25,748
like, okay, cool. Well good. Let me know how it goes. Yeah,

658
00:39:25,924 --> 00:39:29,828
send me some pictures. About two weeks later, I reached out to Them.

659
00:39:29,884 --> 00:39:34,484
And I said, how did it go? And they were so disappointed,

660
00:39:34,612 --> 00:39:37,940
and they were so upset because out

661
00:39:37,980 --> 00:39:41,668
of the four or five guys they had. I want to say three

662
00:39:41,804 --> 00:39:45,546
just ghosted them and didn't show up. Two showed

663
00:39:45,578 --> 00:39:49,482
up. One couldn't work, and the other one didn't decided

664
00:39:49,546 --> 00:39:52,842
he couldn't have sex on camera because

665
00:39:52,866 --> 00:39:56,330
they wanted to film it. So she just ended up having sex with her dude,

666
00:39:56,490 --> 00:40:00,186
and it ended up being a complete waste of their time

667
00:40:00,258 --> 00:40:03,978
and their effort. You know what I mean? And it's that same

668
00:40:04,034 --> 00:40:07,530
anxiety that I have about logistics. It not only applies to

669
00:40:07,570 --> 00:40:11,388
that, it applies to throwing parties, throwing events.

670
00:40:11,484 --> 00:40:14,812
Going. No, not going, just throwing them. Okay.

671
00:40:14,876 --> 00:40:18,364
Going doesn't take logistics. No. Setting it up takes

672
00:40:18,412 --> 00:40:21,548
logistics. Yeah. We have to make sure that everybody.

673
00:40:21,644 --> 00:40:24,892
That's very true. Shows up to the venue. We have to make sure everybody has

674
00:40:24,916 --> 00:40:28,720
the invitations. People will show up who weren't invited.

675
00:40:29,060 --> 00:40:32,700
People who were invited will say they're coming and won't show

676
00:40:32,740 --> 00:40:36,092
up. You know what I mean? We had an. In an event that we were

677
00:40:36,116 --> 00:40:39,246
going to set up at our house for the month of December,

678
00:40:39,438 --> 00:40:42,910
we were going to have people come over. But here's the problem is I

679
00:40:42,950 --> 00:40:46,782
don't want to have everybody. The hundreds and hundreds of people that are

680
00:40:46,806 --> 00:40:50,318
in the groups come to our house. I can't handle

681
00:40:50,334 --> 00:40:54,078
that. That's a lot of people. So I said, why don't

682
00:40:54,094 --> 00:40:57,598
we pick, I don't know, seven or eight couples.

683
00:40:57,694 --> 00:41:01,486
Yeah. That, you know, maybe four couples that we're interested

684
00:41:01,518 --> 00:41:05,102
in getting to know and four couples that we just don't know it

685
00:41:05,126 --> 00:41:08,142
all, and bring them all together and let's.

686
00:41:08,206 --> 00:41:11,598
Let's do this little event at our house. Right. So we did.

687
00:41:11,734 --> 00:41:15,550
We set up the Facebook event. We sent it to these certain peoples.

688
00:41:15,630 --> 00:41:19,518
Yes. And as time went on, a week later,

689
00:41:19,654 --> 00:41:23,370
a week later, I started noticing a lot of people were like,

690
00:41:23,670 --> 00:41:27,262
I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make it. I'll let

691
00:41:27,286 --> 00:41:30,462
you know. It just seemed a little too flaky for

692
00:41:30,486 --> 00:41:34,070
me. And there were a couple of people that were like, oh, you know,

693
00:41:34,690 --> 00:41:37,562
our friends. We're going to really try coming. Yeah, yeah, we're going to really try

694
00:41:37,586 --> 00:41:41,050
to make it. But by that time, I was so turned off at the fact

695
00:41:41,090 --> 00:41:43,594
that there was going to be a lot of people that weren't going to be

696
00:41:43,602 --> 00:41:47,354
able to make it, that I had this imaginary scenario

697
00:41:47,402 --> 00:41:50,762
where maybe two people show up, and we're just basically looking at

698
00:41:50,786 --> 00:41:54,602
them going, well, nobody else is showing up, so let's let's do

699
00:41:54,626 --> 00:41:57,242
what we were going to do. You know, it's like. It just seems like such

700
00:41:57,266 --> 00:42:00,698
a silly thing. And so it's all about logistics. And so I ended up canceling

701
00:42:00,714 --> 00:42:04,232
that event just because of my anxiety. I know. Like, it was too

702
00:42:04,256 --> 00:42:08,216
much. Yeah. And I have that same problem because we're

703
00:42:08,248 --> 00:42:11,480
putting on events for. For one of these groups

704
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,616
now. And that's my issue.

705
00:42:14,768 --> 00:42:18,152
It's finding the venue. It's finding the. Making sure

706
00:42:18,176 --> 00:42:21,384
that there's good parking. It's making sure that you go through all of

707
00:42:21,392 --> 00:42:25,048
these hoops to book an event. Is anybody even

708
00:42:25,104 --> 00:42:28,632
going to show up? You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, that is

709
00:42:28,656 --> 00:42:32,706
an anxiety. Anxiety. Late. You know, I. It's happened

710
00:42:32,738 --> 00:42:36,178
to me before. Yeah. Where I've had a party and. And no one showed

711
00:42:36,194 --> 00:42:39,602
up. And I'm okay with that because

712
00:42:39,706 --> 00:42:43,282
I'm gonna have fun. Well, for the guy who has a fear of

713
00:42:43,306 --> 00:42:46,642
not being accepted. Yeah. No, I can see that.

714
00:42:46,666 --> 00:42:50,290
I can see that. That anxiety. Really? Really. And I understand that. So I do

715
00:42:50,330 --> 00:42:54,130
understand if I throw. A party and people say they're gonna show

716
00:42:54,170 --> 00:42:57,922
and they don't show. Yeah. Then not only am I going to

717
00:42:57,946 --> 00:43:00,714
be like, wow, I wasted a lot of time. Yeah. Energy.

718
00:43:00,842 --> 00:43:04,538
But then I'm also going to be like, wow, these people really don't

719
00:43:04,634 --> 00:43:07,786
like me. If they can't even. You're going to go inside yourself? Yeah. Oh,

720
00:43:07,898 --> 00:43:11,466
yeah. I'm going to overthink it. It's going to be. Yeah. No, we talked about

721
00:43:11,538 --> 00:43:15,274
that. And we talked about you canceling for that. And I. I am

722
00:43:15,362 --> 00:43:18,730
so people who have anxiety. I hope y'all have somebody to talk

723
00:43:18,770 --> 00:43:22,234
to, because this guy right here, he just.

724
00:43:22,322 --> 00:43:25,162
He has a lot of people. You have a lot of people that you talk

725
00:43:25,186 --> 00:43:28,990
to? Yeah. It's called a podcast. Well, besides talking to them right now,

726
00:43:29,110 --> 00:43:32,814
you guys are my therapy. There you go.

727
00:43:32,902 --> 00:43:36,046
As I'm getting it out. There you go. But you're my therapist.

728
00:43:36,078 --> 00:43:39,950
Really? I talk to you all the time, and you

729
00:43:39,990 --> 00:43:43,646
help me realize. And I have a good friend, too, that I'm able to

730
00:43:43,798 --> 00:43:47,918
spout some things at. But I don't talk to a professional.

731
00:43:48,014 --> 00:43:53,242
Yeah. But I do. I should, because I have a lot of irrational

732
00:43:53,406 --> 00:43:56,990
anxieties, and a lot of it is in my own head.

733
00:43:57,290 --> 00:44:00,750
But even as I talk about it with other people,

734
00:44:01,450 --> 00:44:04,850
it doesn't make it any less anxious for me.

735
00:44:04,970 --> 00:44:08,162
Yeah. I mean, I know that you could sit in front of me and you

736
00:44:08,186 --> 00:44:11,522
could tell me you're being irrational. I have. This is not True.

737
00:44:11,586 --> 00:44:14,418
I have. And I'm still sitting there going, no.

738
00:44:14,554 --> 00:44:18,050
Yeah. No way. Yeah. Like, this is the thing. I know.

739
00:44:18,090 --> 00:44:21,858
So, yeah, I'm just. I'm just crazy. Yeah. I'm just crazy. But you're

740
00:44:21,874 --> 00:44:25,174
so cute. Oh, thank you. You're such a cute, crazy. I love you. I love,

741
00:44:25,242 --> 00:44:29,134
too. So, yeah. Irrational fear. Now, here's a

742
00:44:29,142 --> 00:44:32,702
very rational fear. It's not irrational at all because it

743
00:44:32,726 --> 00:44:34,850
happens a lot. Drama.

744
00:44:35,830 --> 00:44:39,438
Drama. There's drama because when you're

745
00:44:39,454 --> 00:44:43,694
in a big community with a smashing of different personalities

746
00:44:43,742 --> 00:44:47,130
and people are going through different things, all different walks of life,

747
00:44:48,150 --> 00:44:51,390
people are traumatized from different pasts and

748
00:44:51,430 --> 00:44:55,624
different experiences. You're going to have people

749
00:44:55,792 --> 00:44:59,992
who just don't get along. You're gonna have miscommunications,

750
00:45:00,136 --> 00:45:03,656
misunderstandings, or you're just gonna have just

751
00:45:03,808 --> 00:45:07,336
plain and simple assholes who want to start

752
00:45:07,408 --> 00:45:10,552
drama. Yes. And that's a big fear of mine.

753
00:45:10,616 --> 00:45:14,136
I want nothing to do with drama. I am not a drama person.

754
00:45:14,208 --> 00:45:17,540
I don't like drama. Keep it away from me as far as you can.

755
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,836
It makes me feel uncomfortable.

756
00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:24,172
Yes. It makes me feel unhappy. Yeah. And if there are two things

757
00:45:24,196 --> 00:45:27,240
I don't like to feel is uncomfortable and happy, who does?

758
00:45:27,700 --> 00:45:30,364
Yeah. Some people do. Some people really like drama.

759
00:45:30,492 --> 00:45:33,644
Yeah. Some people live for drama. We've known Misery

760
00:45:33,692 --> 00:45:36,764
Loves Company. Misery Loves Company. And if you're a miserable person,

761
00:45:36,852 --> 00:45:40,012
you're gonna love to make people miserable around. Yes.

762
00:45:40,156 --> 00:45:43,240
And when miserable people come around me,

763
00:45:43,620 --> 00:45:46,322
I kind of remind them that they're miserable.

764
00:45:46,516 --> 00:45:49,638
Oh, yeah. And just be like, I don't need you around

765
00:45:49,694 --> 00:45:52,998
me. Like you're just a miserable person. Yeah. Well, you know

766
00:45:53,054 --> 00:45:56,450
what I've noticed is when it comes to that,

767
00:45:57,550 --> 00:46:00,742
if I see red flags of drama,

768
00:46:00,886 --> 00:46:04,038
even if it's not towards me,

769
00:46:04,174 --> 00:46:07,478
if it's towards others, then I

770
00:46:07,534 --> 00:46:11,254
start backing off. Yes. And I may not

771
00:46:11,422 --> 00:46:14,998
unfriend them right away, or I may not walk away from them right away,

772
00:46:15,054 --> 00:46:19,046
but slowly but surely, I start backing off. Oh, yeah. And till

773
00:46:19,158 --> 00:46:21,530
one day I'm just not around anymore.

774
00:46:22,670 --> 00:46:26,102
And when I'm gone, it's usually

775
00:46:26,166 --> 00:46:29,238
pretty obvious as to why. Yeah. And if I'm asked,

776
00:46:29,294 --> 00:46:32,470
I will straight up say, sorry, but, you know, you've had a lot of drama

777
00:46:32,550 --> 00:46:36,850
erupt and I'm frankly not into it. Oh. Yeah. I've had people

778
00:46:37,390 --> 00:46:41,216
come up to me and tell me certain things about certain people

779
00:46:41,288 --> 00:46:45,392
and I have stopped them in their tracks. Yeah. Because I

780
00:46:45,416 --> 00:46:49,376
don't want to know. Yeah. You know, I would really feel better about

781
00:46:49,448 --> 00:46:53,100
not knowing. Yeah. And in In a situation like this,

782
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:57,760
when it comes to drama, it's. It's one of those things where

783
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:01,168
ignorance is bliss. Yeah. The less I know, the less I know

784
00:47:01,224 --> 00:47:04,060
better. You know, It's. It's. It's just one of those things.

785
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:08,156
If it's not hurting a friend, if it's not dealing

786
00:47:08,188 --> 00:47:11,852
with a very close friend, I'm just gonna be like,

787
00:47:11,876 --> 00:47:15,276
I don't wanna know about it. You know, Even when it's about a close friend,

788
00:47:15,428 --> 00:47:18,508
I don't wanna know your opinion. Yeah. They are my

789
00:47:18,564 --> 00:47:22,476
friend and I love them for a different reason. And point blank,

790
00:47:22,588 --> 00:47:25,372
it is what it is, you know? But, yeah, drama is. That is one of

791
00:47:25,396 --> 00:47:28,796
your anxieties. It is, it is. It is. And we've

792
00:47:28,828 --> 00:47:32,484
had things come up in the past. Things have.

793
00:47:32,612 --> 00:47:36,160
Have evolved for us and. And when drama comes up,

794
00:47:36,620 --> 00:47:39,844
it's such a bummer for me. Like, it doesn't make me mad.

795
00:47:39,892 --> 00:47:43,300
It's just a bummer. It's like, dude, we don't have to be like this because

796
00:47:43,340 --> 00:47:46,612
I guess I have hippie mentality. Everybody should be happy.

797
00:47:46,676 --> 00:47:49,748
Everybody should love everybody. Everybody should feel positive. And.

798
00:47:49,804 --> 00:47:52,836
Yes. And that is definitely not the world we live in.

799
00:47:52,908 --> 00:47:57,200
So that. That's just a big anxiety factor for me.

800
00:47:57,660 --> 00:48:01,482
But I did. I did know that you had

801
00:48:01,586 --> 00:48:05,430
one that you didn't mention. You said at the top of the show

802
00:48:05,730 --> 00:48:10,378
that you had this fear that

803
00:48:10,434 --> 00:48:14,550
somebody was going to, I guess, try and

804
00:48:14,930 --> 00:48:18,410
get some sort of reaction out of you. Yes. Whether they

805
00:48:18,450 --> 00:48:21,610
touch you or, you know, something inappropriate, your.

806
00:48:21,650 --> 00:48:24,900
Your fear is how you're going to react. Yes. But I also know

807
00:48:24,940 --> 00:48:28,676
one of your other fears. What is that? Your fear

808
00:48:28,868 --> 00:48:32,040
of an embarrassing situation during playtime.

809
00:48:32,620 --> 00:48:36,260
During playtime, I. I do not

810
00:48:36,300 --> 00:48:39,140
like getting doggy style.

811
00:48:39,300 --> 00:48:43,156
And why? Because air. Air gets inside

812
00:48:43,188 --> 00:48:47,044
of me. And it could be for many reasons. It's the angle,

813
00:48:47,172 --> 00:48:50,804
it's the pumping of the air of the dick

814
00:48:50,852 --> 00:48:55,062
inside. I can just collect air. I do not like that. And could

815
00:48:55,086 --> 00:48:58,374
be the air hose that you keep in your vagina. Yes. No, I'm just kidding.

816
00:48:58,422 --> 00:49:02,294
She doesn't keep an air. It's the whoopee cushion. Because it just. It causes.

817
00:49:02,422 --> 00:49:05,702
It causes a queefing noise. Right. Which all women know. And I really

818
00:49:05,726 --> 00:49:08,582
don't care. I've been with people and I've told them, I'm gonna queef on you.

819
00:49:08,606 --> 00:49:11,862
You know this, right. And they are laughing about it and they like it.

820
00:49:11,886 --> 00:49:15,142
They don't care. You don't care. Well, because it's one of those things where

821
00:49:15,166 --> 00:49:18,870
you're Taking an embarrassing situation and you're owning it. Yeah. You're making it

822
00:49:18,910 --> 00:49:21,690
yours. Yeah. So, like, that's. That's one of my fears.

823
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,992
And a lot of men like to have it that way. I just. I'll tell

824
00:49:26,016 --> 00:49:29,340
them, no, no, you're gonna end up getting air in me. Yeah.

825
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,656
Smell. It's never been an issue, but it's

826
00:49:33,688 --> 00:49:36,952
still fear. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know when

827
00:49:36,976 --> 00:49:39,656
we go to the club, one of your big things is you gotta have wipes

828
00:49:39,688 --> 00:49:42,952
with you at all times. Oh, my God, yes. You're always coming up

829
00:49:42,976 --> 00:49:45,752
to me going, do I smell? Yeah, like, do I. Am I sweaty?

830
00:49:45,816 --> 00:49:49,704
Do I have to walk around you like a German shepherd checking

831
00:49:49,752 --> 00:49:52,588
packages? I've never had an issue with it, but.

832
00:49:52,644 --> 00:49:55,724
No, you don't. Very clean. You don't want it to be an issue.

833
00:49:55,892 --> 00:49:58,956
No, you don't want it to be, you know, like. So that's

834
00:49:58,988 --> 00:50:02,860
my, My anxiety is. Does especially like so.

835
00:50:02,900 --> 00:50:06,972
And I'm. I suffer from eczema on my face and it's like, do I

836
00:50:06,996 --> 00:50:11,212
look. Do I look okay? Am I. Is my makeup okay? Do I.

837
00:50:11,396 --> 00:50:14,412
Am I dry my eye? Is my eye dry? Am I, you know,

838
00:50:14,516 --> 00:50:17,260
are my lips plate? Like, I do not like any of that,

839
00:50:17,300 --> 00:50:20,802
so. Right. Yeah. Those are my anxieties. Well. And, you know, I, I've.

840
00:50:20,946 --> 00:50:24,710
I can add to that. And this is not personally

841
00:50:25,050 --> 00:50:29,762
dealing with us, but I've spoken to a

842
00:50:29,786 --> 00:50:33,230
certain person who, who works at a sex club once before,

843
00:50:33,690 --> 00:50:37,378
and they were letting me know because, you know, they.

844
00:50:37,434 --> 00:50:41,362
They're back there, they're changing the sheets on the beds and things like that.

845
00:50:41,546 --> 00:50:45,330
And, you know, you, you, you. Apparently, you wouldn't believe

846
00:50:45,950 --> 00:50:50,054
the kind of issues that they run into for

847
00:50:50,222 --> 00:50:53,330
people who are playing anally. You know,

848
00:50:54,430 --> 00:50:57,878
shit is. Ends up on sheets.

849
00:50:57,974 --> 00:51:02,038
You know, it's not for everybody, obviously, but some people

850
00:51:02,094 --> 00:51:05,302
are just not very clean. Yeah.

851
00:51:05,366 --> 00:51:08,924
When they come into the club, you know, maybe a guy was

852
00:51:09,062 --> 00:51:12,304
working all day and went straight to the club in the evening,

853
00:51:12,352 --> 00:51:15,968
and then he's laying on the bed. Yeah. Leaves a shit line

854
00:51:16,024 --> 00:51:19,904
on the, on the sheet, things like that. Like, it's. It's a thing.

855
00:51:19,992 --> 00:51:23,860
Yeah. You know, and while I'm very clean,

856
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:28,032
I think about that when we're playing at house parties

857
00:51:28,096 --> 00:51:30,960
or we're at clubs, I'm like, oh, my God.

858
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:34,320
Like, that is. That would be the most embarrassing thing. And I mean.

859
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:38,148
Yeah, yeah. No, that's, That's. That has to be everybody's anxiety.

860
00:51:38,244 --> 00:51:41,780
That's gotta be a fear. I. I think about. I mean, I Don't think about

861
00:51:41,820 --> 00:51:45,284
that. But I do think about the weirdest things.

862
00:51:45,372 --> 00:51:49,588
Like, am I gonna leave. I don't wanna leave a spot. A wet spot.

863
00:51:49,684 --> 00:51:52,644
Right. And it's like you're at a sex club, right?

864
00:51:52,732 --> 00:51:55,524
You're gonna leave a wet spot. Right. But you don't wanna be that person to

865
00:51:55,532 --> 00:51:59,380
leave a wet spot. Right. So, yeah, no, it's. It's. It's a.

866
00:51:59,420 --> 00:52:03,840
It's definitely an anxiety to have. Not. Unfortunately, not everybody has it

867
00:52:04,180 --> 00:52:08,012
because there's problems that arise. But realistically,

868
00:52:08,156 --> 00:52:12,028
that is. Like I said, we're both very clean, but that is

869
00:52:12,084 --> 00:52:15,596
still an anxiety. Like, I mean,

870
00:52:15,668 --> 00:52:19,420
put black sheets on. Yeah. Or. I mean, just for me is

871
00:52:19,460 --> 00:52:22,780
like scent and breath, and it's like,

872
00:52:22,900 --> 00:52:26,268
do I. Do I smell good? Like, smell me. And I'm always

873
00:52:26,324 --> 00:52:29,452
forever checking you. Oh, I know. And, you know, you don't even have to say

874
00:52:29,476 --> 00:52:33,870
anything. I fear the same. So I'm always afraid of my breath because

875
00:52:34,170 --> 00:52:38,338
I. Kiss. Yeah. Kiss me. Yeah. And that's

876
00:52:38,354 --> 00:52:40,898
the other thing, too, is I always have a fear that I'm not a good

877
00:52:40,954 --> 00:52:44,242
kisser. Even though I've been told I'm a good kisser, I always have a

878
00:52:44,266 --> 00:52:47,058
fear like this person's going to look at me go, yeah, no. Yeah, I don't

879
00:52:47,074 --> 00:52:50,114
think so. That was. I don't know what you were doing there. What was that?

880
00:52:50,202 --> 00:52:54,002
Yeah. You know. Yeah. So it's one of those things that

881
00:52:54,186 --> 00:52:57,938
they're just very rational fears, but it is something that pops up during

882
00:52:57,994 --> 00:53:01,792
playtime. Yeah, no, it does. Like, gosh, I hope this is

883
00:53:01,816 --> 00:53:05,520
not a thing. You know? And I. I know queefing was always

884
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:09,232
your. Oh, my God. And I mean, it is what it is, right? It is

885
00:53:09,256 --> 00:53:12,416
what it is. You know, it. Yeah, it's. It's a funny

886
00:53:12,448 --> 00:53:16,000
noise. And I've never had anybody

887
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,424
really just bust out laughing in the middle when they've heard it.

888
00:53:19,592 --> 00:53:22,720
I'm the one who bust out, usually. Yeah, you're very quick

889
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:26,642
to. I mean, I've had people, I've had friend me,

890
00:53:26,666 --> 00:53:30,562
doggy style, knows I'm gonna queef, turn me around, go down

891
00:53:30,586 --> 00:53:33,922
on me, and there comes a queef. And he's right there all with

892
00:53:33,946 --> 00:53:37,554
me. And I'm like, dude, stop. Like, that just makes me laugh. Yeah,

893
00:53:37,602 --> 00:53:41,350
it's just silly. Yeah. Yeah. Your vagina talks.

894
00:53:42,810 --> 00:53:46,098
It's saying, I want you. That's right. Yeah, that's right. That's gonna

895
00:53:46,114 --> 00:53:49,634
be our first. I wonder what the voice would be. I don't know. But hopefully

896
00:53:49,682 --> 00:53:52,650
it's not Too low. Yeah. I don't want it to be, like, the base from

897
00:53:52,690 --> 00:53:56,442
boys to men. Hey, baby. But,

898
00:53:56,466 --> 00:53:59,946
yeah, no, that is definitely a. Fear, and it's not an irrational

899
00:53:59,978 --> 00:54:03,626
fear. I feel like it's a valid fear because

900
00:54:03,778 --> 00:54:07,626
you in playtime, there's no worse time.

901
00:54:07,698 --> 00:54:11,370
Oh, yeah. So I am such a. Like,

902
00:54:11,410 --> 00:54:15,386
even for you, if you're fucking me, you don't fuck me without a condom.

903
00:54:15,498 --> 00:54:19,350
Yeah. Right. I mean, you fuck me without a condom. That's true. I will

904
00:54:19,470 --> 00:54:22,262
clean you all up for the next person.

905
00:54:22,446 --> 00:54:24,530
Yeah. Because I'm like,

906
00:54:25,550 --> 00:54:29,430
you know, I don't. Want you to stick like, you. Good scenario was

907
00:54:29,470 --> 00:54:32,970
we were at. At the club. At the club, we were in the beds,

908
00:54:33,310 --> 00:54:36,822
and you were writing me. Yeah. And then a couple showed up that

909
00:54:36,846 --> 00:54:39,942
wanted to play. Yeah. And so

910
00:54:39,966 --> 00:54:42,918
you got off of me, and you immediately started going down on.

911
00:54:42,974 --> 00:54:46,150
Yeah. And I got a towel, and I started. Yeah, you got. You literally,

912
00:54:46,230 --> 00:54:49,222
like, you pulled the cat on me, and you started licking my hair. And I

913
00:54:49,246 --> 00:54:52,404
said, he's ready for you. He's all clean and ready for you. And I was

914
00:54:52,412 --> 00:54:56,260
like, that's just. I mean, I know that I was on

915
00:54:56,300 --> 00:54:59,700
you for a while, and I know that I was. It was hot in there.

916
00:54:59,820 --> 00:55:02,800
And I was like, no, my man is not gonna know.

917
00:55:03,180 --> 00:55:06,420
Nope. I found that very interesting. Very, very loving.

918
00:55:06,500 --> 00:55:09,652
Yes. I appreciate that. That was very nice of you to set

919
00:55:09,676 --> 00:55:13,060
that up for somebody else. Yes. That was very,

920
00:55:13,100 --> 00:55:17,866
very sweet. So. Yes. So, yeah, you know, that is definitely

921
00:55:18,058 --> 00:55:21,290
rational. That's a rational fear. And just

922
00:55:21,330 --> 00:55:24,282
add it to the list of rational fears that I have,

923
00:55:24,386 --> 00:55:27,610
because I always have the fear of

924
00:55:27,650 --> 00:55:31,450
being unable to perform sexually. Yes. That is a very,

925
00:55:31,490 --> 00:55:35,034
very big fear of mine. And I was talking to a friend of

926
00:55:35,122 --> 00:55:38,970
ours the other day about this. Another guy, and he

927
00:55:39,010 --> 00:55:42,628
put it in such a wonderful way, which was,

928
00:55:42,764 --> 00:55:46,804
you know, you can be there, and you're.

929
00:55:46,852 --> 00:55:50,660
You can start off hard, and the

930
00:55:50,700 --> 00:55:54,772
moment you start feeling the hardness go away for whatever distracting reason.

931
00:55:54,876 --> 00:55:57,828
Yeah. Then you start going, no,

932
00:55:57,964 --> 00:56:00,724
get hard. Yeah, you got to get hard. And so then you get in your

933
00:56:00,732 --> 00:56:02,804
head, and you're thinking, that's it. I got to get hard. I get it.

934
00:56:02,892 --> 00:56:06,180
And then before, you know, you're focusing so much on trying to

935
00:56:06,220 --> 00:56:09,894
stay hard. Yeah. That you're losing your heart. Yes.

936
00:56:10,022 --> 00:56:13,510
I've had that happen to me before. And even still,

937
00:56:13,550 --> 00:56:17,206
to this day, when we play, there are moments where

938
00:56:17,358 --> 00:56:21,142
we'll be switching positions or we'll be switching partners

939
00:56:21,206 --> 00:56:25,302
or whatever, and I'm not quickly

940
00:56:25,366 --> 00:56:29,126
inside of a vagina. Or a mouth. Yeah. And obviously I'm

941
00:56:29,158 --> 00:56:32,342
going to start losing my heart on a little bit in that transition.

942
00:56:32,406 --> 00:56:35,580
Yeah. And with that transition,

943
00:56:35,660 --> 00:56:39,052
I have to figure out how to either get hard again

944
00:56:39,156 --> 00:56:42,492
or how to retain whatever I had. And if I think too

945
00:56:42,516 --> 00:56:45,884
much about it, it's gone. It's not happening. Yeah. Oh, I know. And there's been

946
00:56:45,892 --> 00:56:48,012
a couple times where I've, I've come back to you and I've been like,

947
00:56:48,036 --> 00:56:51,500
hey, can you, yeah, you help me here. Yes. And you will, of course.

948
00:56:51,540 --> 00:56:54,956
And you'll make me rage. I'll be, you know, ready to go.

949
00:56:55,028 --> 00:56:58,284
That's right, that's right. Give me my helmet, my gun. That's right. Send me out

950
00:56:58,292 --> 00:57:00,722
to battle. Yes, that's right. You know, I mean, it's,

951
00:57:00,836 --> 00:57:04,310
it's. But I mean, I understand it's a. Very, very rational

952
00:57:04,390 --> 00:57:07,942
fear because we've run into it before. I've run into it before.

953
00:57:08,046 --> 00:57:11,942
Yes. It's a scary thing. Now, as far as performance

954
00:57:12,126 --> 00:57:15,942
goes, do you have a fear similar to that? Do women

955
00:57:16,046 --> 00:57:19,382
have fears when it comes to being unable to

956
00:57:19,406 --> 00:57:22,326
perform sexually? I don't,

957
00:57:22,518 --> 00:57:26,012
I, I'm sure that there's women that

958
00:57:26,166 --> 00:57:29,264
maybe fear they're too dry. Yeah.

959
00:57:29,312 --> 00:57:32,380
But there's. I know there's a lot of women that I've come into

960
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:35,728
play with that have, that they're,

961
00:57:35,824 --> 00:57:39,808
they can't ride. They don't want to ride a guy. Oh, yeah. Because either they

962
00:57:39,864 --> 00:57:43,440
don't think they look good or. Oh, that was angles

963
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:46,320
or do you remember that? I do, yeah. That was an anxiety for me.

964
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:49,680
You are not the only one that I've run into. Yeah, no, I don't have

965
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:53,140
any, I don't have any anxiety of performance because,

966
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:57,608
I mean, I'm pretty simple. Yeah, but it's

967
00:57:57,624 --> 00:58:00,904
not you we're talking about if you're playing with somebody else. Obviously. But you're asking

968
00:58:00,952 --> 00:58:04,824
me if I, if I have any anxiety of a performance. No. Do I

969
00:58:04,832 --> 00:58:07,832
have any anxiety if the guy's not going to perform? Is that part of your

970
00:58:07,856 --> 00:58:11,660
anxiety? Yeah, I mean, it's still performance anxiety. Yeah, it is performance anxiety.

971
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:15,464
I am. Because I feel bad for them. I'm a very

972
00:58:15,552 --> 00:58:19,092
understanding woman. Yeah. You know,

973
00:58:19,116 --> 00:58:22,676
I understand that it's nerve wracking, but. Yeah, no, I don't,

974
00:58:22,708 --> 00:58:25,908
I, I don't have any. My pussy's always ready.

975
00:58:26,004 --> 00:58:29,284
Oh, that's for sure. So, yeah, I can agree with

976
00:58:29,292 --> 00:58:33,172
that. Yeah, it's always ready. That's interesting. Yeah. And if it's not, you'll make

977
00:58:33,196 --> 00:58:36,372
it ready. Somebody Will make it ready. You know, all you got to do is

978
00:58:36,396 --> 00:58:39,524
lick it. That's right. Doesn't take lick it and stick it just a

979
00:58:39,532 --> 00:58:42,500
little bit and it's ready to go. Yeah. Well, you know,

980
00:58:42,540 --> 00:58:45,956
that. That really takes care of my list of anxieties that I had.

981
00:58:46,028 --> 00:58:49,284
That's a really. That's a really good list. I really sat back and I was

982
00:58:49,292 --> 00:58:52,688
like, man, the things that I struggle with. I'm sure there are other stuff

983
00:58:52,784 --> 00:58:56,272
out there that people are listening. They're like, well, they didn't talk about this.

984
00:58:56,376 --> 00:58:59,824
If there are stuff that we didn't talk about, please send it to us.

985
00:58:59,912 --> 00:59:03,888
You can email us over at Beyond Monogamy 4. You mail.com,

986
00:59:03,944 --> 00:59:07,056
that's Beyond Monogamy number four letter,

987
00:59:07,088 --> 00:59:10,080
umail.com. shoot us an email, let us know,

988
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:13,060
because we're curious. We are curious.

989
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:17,490
And with that, I just want to take a moment and say once

990
00:59:17,530 --> 00:59:20,930
again, as we start 2025, thank you for

991
00:59:20,970 --> 00:59:24,322
being here. Thank you for being here with us. Thank you for listening to

992
00:59:24,346 --> 00:59:28,722
us. Garb on and on about all things

993
00:59:28,826 --> 00:59:32,306
sex. Maybe you enjoy it, maybe you don't. Maybe you're just supporting

994
00:59:32,338 --> 00:59:35,810
us because you're a friend. Maybe you're going

995
00:59:35,850 --> 00:59:38,550
to become a new friend in 2025. Who knows?

996
00:59:38,890 --> 00:59:42,520
But no matter what, I just want to say thank you.

997
00:59:42,690 --> 00:59:46,156
We love you. We appreciate your support. We appreciate your.

998
00:59:46,228 --> 00:59:49,372
Your love. And just everybody from

999
00:59:49,396 --> 00:59:53,004
the community that we've dealt with, not only here in Texas,

1000
00:59:53,052 --> 00:59:56,460
which has been an incredible community. Yeah. Thank you very much,

1001
00:59:56,500 --> 00:59:59,948
guys. But literally all throughout the United States,

1002
01:00:00,004 --> 01:00:03,560
and we even have some listeners outside of the country.

1003
01:00:04,420 --> 01:00:07,612
We. We see you. We hear you. Yeah. We know you're out

1004
01:00:07,636 --> 01:00:11,336
there. Yeah. And we're very, very glad that you can join us.

1005
01:00:11,508 --> 01:00:14,912
And we are here for you. If you have

1006
01:00:14,936 --> 01:00:18,832
any questions. We are here for you. If you need advice, if you're new

1007
01:00:18,856 --> 01:00:21,700
to this, if you're maybe struggling,

1008
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:26,128
reach out to us, because everybody needs

1009
01:00:26,264 --> 01:00:29,856
somebody, and that's what we're here for. I agree.

1010
01:00:29,928 --> 01:00:33,232
You know, you're showing your support by listening to us. Well, you know

1011
01:00:33,256 --> 01:00:36,480
what? We want to show you our support. Yes.

1012
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:40,176
So reach out to us. Let us know where you're

1013
01:00:40,208 --> 01:00:43,776
at, who you are, and let's

1014
01:00:43,808 --> 01:00:47,376
talk. Right. Yeah. Maybe we can. Maybe we can become best

1015
01:00:47,448 --> 01:00:50,560
friends. Yes. So thank you so much for joining us this

1016
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:52,700
week. We will be seeing you.