S1 E5 Exploring the Intricacies of Friendships in a Non-Monogamous Lifestyle

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. We explore

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topics surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships,

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and related subjects in an open and candid manner. Please be advised that

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we are not licensed marriage or sex therapists and the content

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shared here is for entertainment and informational purposes only.

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If you are under 18 years of age or prefer not to engage with discussions

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about sex, relationships or mature language, we strongly

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recommend that you refrain from listening further. However, if you

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are of legal age and comfortable with this content, we invite you to settle in

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and enjoy the show. Hello, everybody,

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and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And today we have

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decided to kind of throw out the playbook. We don't have a specific

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topic in mind initially until

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a friend of mine spoke with me earlier today

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and brought up a really good topic and we said, you know what?

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We're going to go with this. We're going to go with this. Yeah. So the

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topic today is friendships. Friendships in

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the lifestyle. Yeah. What do you think about that, hun?

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Well, for us, friendships are

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important, I'm sure for everybody. Right. But most of

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our friends are in the lifestyle.

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Yeah, I. It's funny because for the first,

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I don't know, six, six or eight years

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that we were in the lifestyle, I can say that

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most of our friendships were actual vanilla friends here.

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I think we can say that we don't have any friends that are vanilla.

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Really. No. We have acquaintances. Yeah. But we

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probably have a handful of friends

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that are vanilla. Yeah. Like plain vanilla,

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Right? Yeah. And all of our other friends.

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Isn't that funny though? There is heavy flirting. There is

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a knowing of wanting. Right. We haven't

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played with them. And I. All of us are cool with that because

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I get it now. Although I am very transactional.

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I am. Because if I want something, I'm gonna ask for it. Right? Right.

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I love it. How they be like, oh, that's so. Yes,

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I like that. And I'd be like, really?

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Yeah. Do I have to get to know you? Really, dude, I have to.

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And it's like, why wouldn't you want to? I know. I mean, now I'm.

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I'm like, I mean, if I see somebody and I want to them, I'm going

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to tell them. Okay, but even if they're my friend or not, Right. If I

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know your name or not. But if you're my friend, I'm going to be

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way more respectful.

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Respectful, yeah. Yeah. Okay,

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now I have a question. Okay, well, I've got

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a lot of questions. So my first Question. Sure you do. What do you.

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How do you feel about that? Because we are an open. Like we talk

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about our lifestyle. Pretty candid.

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Yes. Did you see that I use that word correctly?

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Huh? Candid. Yes, I did. Absolutely. That was good because it's in my intro

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too. Oh, okay. But yeah, you have it down.

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Yeah, yes, we are very. We're open

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about it. You know, I think we keep it

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to ourselves because eh. We just don't feel like

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sharing sometimes. Right. Well, you know, I.

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It's kind of like a need to know basis for you.

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Yeah. Well, because you can tell there's some people who are in the vanilla

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world that maybe you, you can talk about it and it'd be cool

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and they may have some questions or whatever, but there

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are others out there where, I mean, you even allude to it

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and it's like, oh my God. Yeah. Are you kidding me?

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You're a what? Yeah. You do. What? With who? Yeah.

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And you know, it's like, gosh, what. Did that make me

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laugh? What? With you? Well, I could hear. I can hear it

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in that voice. Yeah. So it's. Yeah,

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I, I pretty much share it with everybody. I mean

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I kept it to my. I. Nobody's asked me. Like my

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boss hasn't asked me and I think if my boss were to ask me,

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I'd be like, yeah. Would you, would you come up front with it?

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I would. Yeah. Because it's my, it's my personal life.

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If you're asking me, I would be like, are you really asking?

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I mean realistically, in a situation

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like that, and we're not going to get into the details of it, but realistically,

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a company shouldn't be allowed to ask you. Oh,

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for sure. But sometimes we get very, Sometimes we get very

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comfortable. Comfortable. You know, especially me.

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Yeah. I am so down for. I don't care if anybody

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knows. I'm happy. I'm finally happy and

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comfortable with myself. Right on. I am bisexual

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and yeah, I like to share. That's good. I like to

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be shared. That's good. Well, we kind of went away from friendships.

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We did. Yeah. I don't know where you went there,

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but I love you and you tapping me.

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Yeah, no, I was totally. I was tapping your leg and I was like,

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oh, she's going to a different topic. And then you went to the

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fourth topic, which I, trust me,

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I was writing them down. We're going to, we're going to go into those in

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future shows. Okay. I love that. Okay. So don't even worry

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about it. That Was good. We'll reuse those clips. Okay.

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Anyhow, friendships in the lifestyle we were

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talking about, and realistically, what I want

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to know from you is now, in this

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moment in your life, how are you feeling about

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really close friendships? Because I know how you felt previous.

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Yes. I think we mentioned this in the last show.

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Maybe we didn't. I found my people.

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I found my tribe. Yeah. You're pretty happy

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about that. Oh, yes. Because women don't.

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Women don't get other women, so. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard that.

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Yeah. I've heard that from not just you, but from several. And it touches

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my heart, like. Oh, you know. Yeah. Don't cry,

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though. It's cool. Yeah, No,

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I get that. Yeah. Well, you know, I know that that was something that you

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struggled with a lot, was trying to make friends, just female

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friends. People don't like me. People don't like me sometimes,

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like, they just see me. They don't like me. I mean, people have called

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me horrible. Oh, yeah.

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Without even knowing me.

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Yeah. So. And I know that it's somebody that doesn't know me that's

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called me that, because, I mean, you know,

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if you know me, you know, I'm not horrible. I know you.

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Yeah. So, yeah, it's really important for me because. Yeah. Women have.

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It's been a thing. Yeah. Haters, you know,

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because of the insecurities and jealousies. Jealousies and insecurities.

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I mean, even in my own family. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

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So you can't be. You can't be friends with people

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like that, so. Right, right. So you really want to

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surround yourself with good, genuine people, you know, and that's

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really what we. We surround ourselves with, is good,

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genuine people, and I love what it generates because

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we have made such an incredible group of friends that,

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you know, I mean, they'll just. They're. They're just perfect for

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us. The men are amazing. Yeah. They're very nice,

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respectful. Respectful men. Yeah.

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And they're hot. Oh, all right. Do you know what I mean?

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And then there's the women, and they're the same way. They're very respectful.

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They love their husbands. You could tell the marriages are good. It's great.

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It's really solid. Yeah. And it's like.

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Yes. I love that.

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You know, I love that. I can see it, you know?

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Yeah. So, yeah, I want to be. I. I want to. I want those people

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in my. In my life. So definitely that's how the attachment.

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They kind of make you want to do better for yourself as

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well. Yeah. So, yeah, it's a. It's been a good group of friends.

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That's cool. That's cool. Now, I'm curious what your opinion

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is as far as being

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able to have opposite sex friends. Now, this is not

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a traditionalistic idea for a married man

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or a married woman to have to be

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friends with the opposite sex. No. So what are your

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thoughts on that? I didn't like it at first. Yeah? Yeah.

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I didn't like you saying, oh, I'm gonna help,

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help our, Help this person out. It's my friend. Yeah. I didn't like that

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because I was. Like, no, Yeah, I remember that was the first time we first

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got together. Yeah. Well, because you were my friend and look where you're at

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now, you know, so it was my insecurities.

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Yeah. And I'm not a trust trusting person.

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So to cut in there real quick, what she's

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referencing is when we first got together. And this is going to make

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me sound like such a bonehead, but there was somebody

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who I knew from elementary and

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she needed some help. She was a former stripper,

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et cetera, et cetera. And she was trying

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to get over here so that she could see her kids. She needed some money.

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And so I was with Priscilla. We were

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dating at the time, and I was needing to get

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her some money, but I didn't have any. So I asked to borrow and

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I borrowed from Priscilla and she gave me the money

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begrudgingly because she loved me. And I gave it

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to this friend of mine. And I

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was doing it to help. A friend, but as soon as

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I saw her picture, I knew. And as soon as I heard

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the story, I was like, this girl ain't your friend. She's taking

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you for your money. Yeah. And I didn't see that. No, I didn't see

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that. And so I had sucker written all over my face. And that was

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an early learned lesson. So I'm very

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protective of you. Yeah. And if somebody does something

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like that to you, I'm all, I'm all for

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it. I'm like, really? Okay. I'm gonna find you.

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Yeah. Yeah. So I've, I, and I've run into my fair

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share of, of some, some crazies or some bad

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intentions. I feel like some of your friends get attached to

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you very quickly. How's that? Now they get attached like they like

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you and they like your energy. Right. So like before we were so in,

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in deep in the lifestyle, like your friends are like your

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girlfriends and all that. They would always like, like you and like to be

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around you and the energy that I would get from them was like, they actually

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want you. Really? Yeah. So if

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it was like that or if it wasn't, they never had the chance. They were

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still very, very sweet to me. Yeah. Oh, my goodness.

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Like, I'm still friends with them. Yeah. So, yeah, it's.

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It's a thing. Yeah. So I didn't. I didn't like you to

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have friends. So you didn't like for me to have friends. So you were more

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okay with the wham, bam, thank you, ma'am situation than me

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actually having, like, the intimacy of a friendship?

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Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't know,

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friendships can go into something else. So is that. So is that what was

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rooted into it was the friendship could lead into

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something else. Okay. So, I mean,

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my first boyfriend, I got with him because

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I was actually his friend, liked me, and I was like, okay, let's go.

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But I saw him and I got him. So it's like, your friends take away

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your friends, your girl, and your man. And so it

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was in my head. So you were. You were figuring that whoever I

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became friends with would try to move. Try and remove me from

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you. Yeah. Wow. Do you know how many boyfriends

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I took? Okay, so it comes from a.

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I took away a. Guilty. A lot of boyfriends.

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So you were guilty of it, and so that's what you had expected

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from others. I've had a fiance break up with their wife,

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their fiance to go out with me.

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Dang, girl. Yeah. Must be golden.

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Maybe. I know it is. So, yeah, I had that.

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Really? Oh, wow. Jealousy. Yeah.

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Horrible insecurities. Oh, yeah. My first husband couldn't have friends,

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and we weren't in the lifestyle. Yeah. My sec

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didn't have any. His friends. Yeah. So that. That was simple.

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Wow. Okay. Yeah. Well, I knew.

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I knew there was a lot of jealousies involved with that,

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but I never really expected all of that.

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And I remember thinking, it's just a friendship. I don't

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understand what the big deal is. And if it's a lifestyle

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friendship, what's the worst that's going to happen? We have sex.

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I think when you told me that. You know what I mean? Yeah. And honestly,

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it wasn't until this group of friends that we've encountered that I have

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been super okay with you. Like,

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I think we were with our friends, and I was like, dude, if you ever

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just need or if you ever get called out to, like,

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go help somebody or somebody needs a, you know, whatever.

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Whatever they need, I would be like, yeah, like, if I

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couldn't go or we couldn't go together. I'd be like, yes, yes, go.

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Because I'm so. I just.

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I love them and I love their energy, and I know there's nothing, you know,

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like, it's not going to be malicious. There you go. Malicious. Sounds like an episode

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of Pimp My Husband. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or even,

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like, if they need help. Yeah, no, I get you. Yeah, I get you.

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00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,884
Yeah. And it would. You don't feel any kind of contention

229
00:14:00,932 --> 00:14:04,292
or any jealousies about that? Like, it's totally cool because you're.

230
00:14:04,356 --> 00:14:08,244
Yeah, we're. We're just such a helpful community that's like that. Because it's community

231
00:14:08,332 --> 00:14:11,812
now. Yeah, it's community now. So it's like, okay,

232
00:14:11,956 --> 00:14:15,172
you know, I know they're not doing it for,

233
00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:19,134
oh, I want to sleep with your husband. Because they can sleep with my husband.

234
00:14:19,262 --> 00:14:23,470
Right. It's actual. It's not malicious. No, it's a friendship.

235
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:27,406
Yeah. You're helping them. Somebody. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it's funny

236
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:31,230
is we go through life kind of believing that

237
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:34,430
you can't really be friends with the opposite sex without it

238
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:38,382
turning romantic. And it's in every sitcom, it's in every movie,

239
00:14:38,526 --> 00:14:42,090
it's in every book. You know, you can't be friends

240
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:46,072
with the. With opposite. The opposite sex because it

241
00:14:46,096 --> 00:14:49,032
turns into romanticism or sexual.

242
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,300
And you can if the other person is.

243
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,272
So I was. Because I had. My first husband was

244
00:14:55,296 --> 00:14:58,520
like that I had. I could have a guy friend,

245
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:02,232
but only if he was gay. Wow. You know.

246
00:15:02,256 --> 00:15:05,416
Oh. But I couldn't have a lesbian friend. Oh,

247
00:15:05,528 --> 00:15:08,808
yeah. Because that would be a threat. Yes. Interesting.

248
00:15:08,904 --> 00:15:12,644
Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I was very untrustworthy

249
00:15:12,692 --> 00:15:16,052
of friends. That's crazy. I know. That's crazy.

250
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:19,720
Yeah. You know, that was in my first marriage.

251
00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:24,084
I had a lot of friends, and then I got married, or I got with

252
00:15:24,172 --> 00:15:27,908
my first wife, and she kind of had me

253
00:15:27,964 --> 00:15:31,572
alienate myself from all my friends. Abusive. In a

254
00:15:31,596 --> 00:15:35,028
way. In a way. Yeah. You know, and so I had to. I. I really

255
00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:37,904
had no friends by the time I reached the.

256
00:15:38,012 --> 00:15:41,368
The peak. Worse of it. Yeah.

257
00:15:41,544 --> 00:15:44,792
And I remember telling her, I ain't doing this

258
00:15:44,816 --> 00:15:48,632
anymore. I want my friends back. And so I. I said,

259
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,540
I'm going to start going out. I'm going to start making friends. You know,

260
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,256
my social anxiety wasn't as bad back then, but I was also a big drinker

261
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,840
back. Yeah. Yeah. And so I started making friends, you know,

262
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:02,568
a couple of friends here, there. But that's when I ended up leaving. Yeah.

263
00:16:02,664 --> 00:16:05,880
Because you were depressed. I was. Yeah. So then I left and I was

264
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:09,472
all about my friends. Yeah. But almost immediately after I

265
00:16:09,496 --> 00:16:13,088
left, I met you, and then you became my.

266
00:16:13,144 --> 00:16:16,624
Friend, and we were party with all our friends.

267
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:20,480
But at some point, I think the kiddos needed us more

268
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:24,560
and our life was settling in more. That kids became

269
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:28,064
110 priority. Absolutely. So this isn't

270
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:31,712
like. Like, this is our year that we're finally,

271
00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:35,386
like, going out and stuff and making friends. And it's

272
00:16:35,418 --> 00:16:38,870
so cool because, like I said, I find. I found my women.

273
00:16:39,170 --> 00:16:42,346
Right on, man. My bitches, my homegirls,

274
00:16:42,378 --> 00:16:45,610
man. That's fucking awesome. Well, here, let me take it to

275
00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:49,530
another level here. You have a

276
00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:53,610
friend date. Okay. With somebody from the opposite sex this.

277
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:57,434
This weekend? I do. You do. How do you feel about that?

278
00:16:57,602 --> 00:17:01,498
I'm excited. Are you? Yes. I love this because you don't really

279
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:05,125
go out with anybody outside of me. I don't.

280
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:08,389
And he knows that. No, I don't. I like to go with you. You're my

281
00:17:08,429 --> 00:17:12,133
comfort. But I'm so comfortable

282
00:17:12,181 --> 00:17:15,317
with this person. Yeah. And I know that you're comfortable with this.

283
00:17:15,373 --> 00:17:18,249
Oh, yeah, I love. Yeah. Amazing.

284
00:17:18,589 --> 00:17:22,677
So it's. It's a nice little. A nice little break.

285
00:17:22,813 --> 00:17:26,549
Yeah. You know what I mean? It's something I love, y'all, but. Yeah.

286
00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:29,845
Yeah. It doesn't offend me at all. Yeah, No. I think that's

287
00:17:29,877 --> 00:17:33,230
pretty cool now, you know, with. With that,

288
00:17:33,270 --> 00:17:36,414
though. Have you always been cool with that? Or is that something that you would

289
00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:39,742
have struggled with? Because that. I remember you kind of rejecting that idea when

290
00:17:39,766 --> 00:17:43,790
we stopped being Polly. I know I

291
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:47,086
wouldn't. Because. Because you look at. Even though it's just friends

292
00:17:47,158 --> 00:17:50,718
hanging out, you looked at it almost like it was a date. Yeah.

293
00:17:50,894 --> 00:17:54,526
Yeah, I did. I was like, oh, no, no, I don't.

294
00:17:54,558 --> 00:17:58,456
I don't want to go. I can't go without you. Right. And. And I struggled

295
00:17:58,488 --> 00:18:01,940
with it. Yeah. And this person

296
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,860
has been waiting patiently.

297
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,640
Yes. He has been waiting so patiently.

298
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,520
Yeah. And it's not even a sexual thing.

299
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,960
Yeah. You know, he's just a cool dude. Amazing.

300
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,832
Yeah. And he's been waiting patiently. And I was like,

301
00:18:19,856 --> 00:18:24,016
you know what? Why haven't I gone? And I don't like to leave you.

302
00:18:24,128 --> 00:18:27,472
Right. You're my best friend, and I'm cool. And I don't like to leave,

303
00:18:27,536 --> 00:18:30,208
like, especially if you're going to be in the house. I'm like, you know.

304
00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:33,760
No. Yeah. And it's hard, so. And.

305
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,184
And what's funny is, you know, that whatever.

306
00:18:37,232 --> 00:18:40,720
When you leave me at home refer to the masturbation

307
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,288
episode, essentially. Yeah, yeah. For sure. Because you don't

308
00:18:44,304 --> 00:18:47,616
know what's going on. I have no idea what's. Because I have your full permission

309
00:18:47,728 --> 00:18:51,280
to. Do whatever, to just go with the flow. Yeah. And I got the full

310
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,340
permission from his wife. Yeah. Right on. You know,

311
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,880
so again, go back to the respecting right

312
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,416
there. Yeah. I am very respectful, so. Yes,

313
00:19:01,528 --> 00:19:04,376
I am. I'm kind of excited. Yeah.

314
00:19:04,408 --> 00:19:07,752
That's pretty cool. Yeah. We're gonna hang out now. Would you

315
00:19:07,776 --> 00:19:11,112
be good with me going out with someone from the

316
00:19:11,136 --> 00:19:14,456
opposite sex on a. On a little adventure like that?

317
00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:17,540
Yes. Really? Because I'm. I trust them,

318
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,874
you know, I. I trust. I trust them and I trust you.

319
00:19:22,042 --> 00:19:25,570
What's going to happen? So, you know, it. For me, it's not even the.

320
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:29,042
A trust factor for, you know, why I wouldn't do it or

321
00:19:29,146 --> 00:19:32,962
what would prevent me. It's the cheap in me.

322
00:19:33,146 --> 00:19:36,590
It's because I know I'm going to have to pay.

323
00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:40,786
A friend mentioned that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's true.

324
00:19:40,898 --> 00:19:44,476
Well, I'm going to say that I know the person that I'm going out with

325
00:19:44,658 --> 00:19:47,420
is. Doesn't have a choice.

326
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,936
I know you're going to be listening to this episode. Oh,

327
00:19:50,968 --> 00:19:54,616
wait, no. You're going to listen to this episode after the fact. After the fact.

328
00:19:54,688 --> 00:19:58,580
So I'm going to tell you now. It was amazing. Thank you very much.

329
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,160
Let's do this again. You are the badass

330
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,504
company that I needed. That's really nice.

331
00:20:06,552 --> 00:20:09,992
I love you. Oh, that's cute. There you go. Very nice.

332
00:20:10,056 --> 00:20:13,196
Yeah. Because I know it's going to go that way. Yeah, course. That's nice,

333
00:20:13,228 --> 00:20:16,572
you know, that's nice. Well, you know, I. Yeah, no, I was. I was

334
00:20:16,596 --> 00:20:19,788
curious about that because. Yeah, no, I don't. That's slightly

335
00:20:19,804 --> 00:20:23,020
different. That's slightly different. And for me, like I said,

336
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:26,732
I would have to be paying. I. I'd be. I'd be paying for

337
00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:30,140
somebody. Yeah. And boy, that's just. That just makes me feel

338
00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:32,860
so cheap. But it's true. I'm like, can we go to a park or something?

339
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:36,428
Oh, my goodness. I'll make you some sandwiches. Ladies, ladies, don't worry.

340
00:20:36,604 --> 00:20:39,974
Friends. Picnic basket. Friends. If he's going out,

341
00:20:40,062 --> 00:20:43,990
what are you, yogi? I will definitely. I will definitely

342
00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:47,702
make sure he has his allowance. Oh, my gosh. Make sure he's a

343
00:20:47,726 --> 00:20:51,142
good boy. We'll meet for coffee. Yeah, okay. Well,

344
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:54,662
you saw. Yeah, I was just kind of question for you. What's up? What's up.

345
00:20:54,766 --> 00:20:58,070
So you. How. How do

346
00:20:58,110 --> 00:21:01,606
you feel about me having friends

347
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:05,276
of the opposite sex? Now, I know you don't get. Get jealous. No,

348
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:09,004
no. Actually I. I'm going out with somebody. I have no problem with it

349
00:21:09,092 --> 00:21:11,852
at all. And so. And I've never had a problem with.

350
00:21:11,876 --> 00:21:15,196
It, but whether I knew them or not. Right.

351
00:21:15,268 --> 00:21:18,700
Yeah, but. Well, re. But friendship wise. Yeah. I've never

352
00:21:18,740 --> 00:21:22,060
had a problem. I mean, you used to have friends. When we first

353
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:26,140
started dating, you had. And still. Yeah. Throughout the years had

354
00:21:26,180 --> 00:21:29,410
certain guy friends that have been there for you for years. Yes.

355
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:32,502
And I had always questioned things and you were like, no, no,

356
00:21:32,606 --> 00:21:36,966
they're just friends. But I don't know.

357
00:21:37,038 --> 00:21:40,614
You know, I always knew that you had jealousies towards

358
00:21:40,662 --> 00:21:43,862
the friends that I had that were. That were happened to be of the

359
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:47,542
female persuasion. I know. And things that.

360
00:21:47,646 --> 00:21:50,326
Jealousies that reared their ugly head and that sort of thing.

361
00:21:50,398 --> 00:21:53,190
What that was then, this is not now.

362
00:21:53,230 --> 00:21:56,272
Yeah. Things are different now. Yes. Yeah.

363
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:59,952
If we've grown, we've grown. We have grown. We have blossomed

364
00:22:00,016 --> 00:22:03,152
for sure. And I think it works for us. It does.

365
00:22:03,256 --> 00:22:06,340
Yeah. And we've made some really incredible friendships.

366
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,240
Now I get like this, and I don't know if you get

367
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:14,620
like this, but we have a group of friends and

368
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,872
say we. We get attached.

369
00:22:18,016 --> 00:22:21,744
Oh, do you get attached? I absolutely get.

370
00:22:21,832 --> 00:22:25,142
You do. Oh, man. So much. So say, you know,

371
00:22:25,166 --> 00:22:28,966
we're out with our friends. Oh my God. We've been seeing every weekend and

372
00:22:29,038 --> 00:22:33,238
we go out and like, it's. It's a very. It's very family oriented,

373
00:22:33,334 --> 00:22:37,126
you know. Yeah. And they post

374
00:22:37,198 --> 00:22:40,930
a picture from a weekend. They couldn't come out with us

375
00:22:41,230 --> 00:22:44,250
and they've made new friends. Oh,

376
00:22:44,590 --> 00:22:48,854
you're talking like jealousy. A jealousy amongst.

377
00:22:48,902 --> 00:22:52,984
So do you get couple? Yeah. So do you get jealousy? Yeah, I wouldn't

378
00:22:53,032 --> 00:22:56,536
say I get jealousy. I would probably have more or less

379
00:22:56,608 --> 00:22:59,020
FOMO than jealousy.

380
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,256
Kind of wishing I. I was there sort of thing. Not so much.

381
00:23:03,328 --> 00:23:07,128
Oh, man. They're doing that with them and not. You know what hurts my feelings?

382
00:23:07,224 --> 00:23:10,344
What? Oh my God, I'm gonna sound so cheesy.

383
00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:14,104
What? When I don't get invited to something really,

384
00:23:14,192 --> 00:23:17,912
especially like a girls thing, I'm like, I'm fun. I'm a

385
00:23:17,936 --> 00:23:20,220
girl. I'm a good time Sally.

386
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,040
Invite me. I'll bring cookies. You know,

387
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:28,800
I, I don't know what goes into the process of, of inviting

388
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:33,260
people this stuff. So I. For women, yeah. It's definitely a

389
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,660
do I like her vibe. Okay.

390
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:41,100
Unfortunately, it's not it's not every

391
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,472
person. Right. Not every woman. But I.

392
00:23:45,576 --> 00:23:49,120
That's. That is a big thing, I think, as much

393
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,616
in your regular life as an ls really.

394
00:23:51,688 --> 00:23:55,824
Yeah. Girls. Women hating on women and women hate.

395
00:23:55,872 --> 00:23:59,264
You know, and so you still have. As a woman,

396
00:23:59,352 --> 00:24:02,860
you still have that. Do I trust this. Do I trust this girl?

397
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,992
Like, do I trust. Like, is this a mean girl's thing? Yeah.

398
00:24:07,136 --> 00:24:10,432
Yeah. So can I trust this person? Exactly. Right. So you

399
00:24:10,456 --> 00:24:13,708
have. You're treading on. On very thin ice. Yeah.

400
00:24:13,824 --> 00:24:17,720
And. But we do go with our gut intuition,

401
00:24:18,140 --> 00:24:21,556
like our. Our little gut feelings. I do dig it. Yeah.

402
00:24:21,588 --> 00:24:25,252
No, I. I know you do. I do. I've been here and I. And I

403
00:24:25,276 --> 00:24:28,596
keep us away for the most part. And when I don't like somebody,

404
00:24:28,708 --> 00:24:32,420
I straight out tell you. Oh, I know. I've been so disappointed.

405
00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:35,828
I know. I know. You're like, no, that. That they're not.

406
00:24:35,884 --> 00:24:39,844
They're not for us. Yeah. I'm like, really? Yeah. And they can be the hottest

407
00:24:39,972 --> 00:24:43,508
people. Piece of. And you know, and their attitudes and

408
00:24:43,564 --> 00:24:47,076
everything about them can be great. Yeah. But there's going to be this

409
00:24:47,148 --> 00:24:50,452
thing and I'm going to feel it and I'm going to know it

410
00:24:50,476 --> 00:24:54,084
and I'm. Going to be like, well, it took me many years to trust

411
00:24:54,132 --> 00:24:57,684
your judgment, but I trust it now. Yeah. It's just,

412
00:24:57,772 --> 00:25:01,444
man, it's such a bummer. It is sometimes. It really is. Yeah.

413
00:25:01,492 --> 00:25:04,516
Yeah. But I. I am the. It's better on paper.

414
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:08,536
So you see the. The negative or the bad and people

415
00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:11,592
almost. I do. In times, I am the opposite.

416
00:25:11,656 --> 00:25:14,904
Yeah. And I see the good in everybody. You wear your heart on

417
00:25:14,912 --> 00:25:18,260
your sleeve. Oh, man. Big time. And I've been hurt several times over

418
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,752
and, you know, and I had a point where I was like,

419
00:25:21,936 --> 00:25:24,552
should I let this change me? And I said, no, I'm not gonna let it

420
00:25:24,576 --> 00:25:28,168
change me. I'm just gonna be me. And I kept on

421
00:25:28,304 --> 00:25:31,720
and I still am to this day. I'm just very. I love.

422
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,048
Yes. But I'm always there. You're always there to protect me,

423
00:25:35,104 --> 00:25:38,050
which is nice, for sure. I let you.

424
00:25:38,170 --> 00:25:41,090
I let you get a sting or two. Yeah. You know,

425
00:25:41,130 --> 00:25:44,562
sometimes you got to. You gotta. You gotta be reminded. But. Yeah.

426
00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:48,130
I'm getting better at spotting red flags, though. And our friends

427
00:25:48,170 --> 00:25:51,442
that, that we hang with and that we have around. No. So I

428
00:25:51,466 --> 00:25:54,830
don't get. So I don't like to share them, but I don't share them.

429
00:25:55,130 --> 00:25:58,962
So. Yeah. So, like. So it would sting a little bit, but you. You would

430
00:25:58,986 --> 00:26:01,922
Be okay, obviously. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Well, so, like,

431
00:26:01,946 --> 00:26:04,956
we, We. We have our friends, and our friends,

432
00:26:05,028 --> 00:26:08,280
they have their other groups of friends, obviously, that were

433
00:26:08,580 --> 00:26:12,348
established before we moved here.

434
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:15,852
It's kind of. It's kind of difficult for you to kind of take ownership of

435
00:26:15,876 --> 00:26:19,340
that and be like, hey, man, don't forget to invite us.

436
00:26:19,460 --> 00:26:22,620
That's that little. Oh, man. They have their own

437
00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:26,348
lives. Most of them are booked up for months. For months. Yeah,

438
00:26:26,444 --> 00:26:29,834
I know. Yeah. You guys know who you're. I know

439
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:33,898
y'all know who we're talking, and it's. It's okay

440
00:26:34,074 --> 00:26:37,482
because we're not gonna go anywhere. We'll still. We'll be here. We'll be

441
00:26:37,506 --> 00:26:41,402
waiting. But yeah, no, I do get. I get FOMO for

442
00:26:41,426 --> 00:26:44,746
sure. Like, if we can hang with a certain couple or something.

443
00:26:44,818 --> 00:26:48,378
I'm like, oh, man. Well, you know what? I. What I started

444
00:26:48,434 --> 00:26:52,122
doing was basically, it's my thing to say,

445
00:26:52,306 --> 00:26:55,418
I mean, we're not going anywhere. You know what I mean? Like,

446
00:26:55,474 --> 00:26:58,854
we're not moving. We're gonna be here,

447
00:26:59,022 --> 00:27:02,102
and we'll be here in three months, and maybe you'll have a

448
00:27:02,126 --> 00:27:04,982
day where you can go, hey, guys, what are you doing? Oh, let's go get

449
00:27:05,006 --> 00:27:08,230
some coffee. We love coffee. Heck, yeah. And we love brunch.

450
00:27:08,390 --> 00:27:12,530
But I will say this. I have noticed that

451
00:27:12,990 --> 00:27:16,182
a lot of people will go, oh, yeah, I'll meet you guys. And then it

452
00:27:16,206 --> 00:27:20,006
kind of gets pushed back. Pushed back, pushed back. But all it takes

453
00:27:20,038 --> 00:27:23,776
is one time of hanging out with us, and then after that it's

454
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:27,488
like, okay, we got it. We got to hang out again. Yes.

455
00:27:27,584 --> 00:27:31,168
Because you're so funny. Oh, because I'm funny? It's because you're a fox,

456
00:27:31,264 --> 00:27:34,896
baby. You are a good looking lady.

457
00:27:35,088 --> 00:27:37,856
That's right. Some fine looking wool. Oh, my God.

458
00:27:37,968 --> 00:27:41,264
Oh, yeah. So, yeah, no, I get fomo.

459
00:27:41,312 --> 00:27:44,768
Like, I. Like, I'll share. I'm just kidding, I guess.

460
00:27:44,944 --> 00:27:48,224
Well, so that was your big thing for a long time, is you didn't want

461
00:27:48,232 --> 00:27:51,440
to share me time. Yeah. So if I don't show you, I don't share my

462
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,400
friends. Yeah. But I. And the community. I am so,

463
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,488
like, I love it. Yeah. Freaking awesome.

464
00:27:57,584 --> 00:27:59,980
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it is.

465
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:05,072
So with that, you have your friends, right? You've already played with

466
00:28:05,096 --> 00:28:08,368
them, huh? They go and they make other friends.

467
00:28:08,504 --> 00:28:11,420
Okay, don't. Don't share us with those.

468
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,624
And then. But they don't want to play with us anymore. They only want to

469
00:28:14,632 --> 00:28:18,320
play with those people. But they'll still hang out with us. It's just not a

470
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:21,758
sexual thing anymore. Yeah. Okay. But we really like them.

471
00:28:21,894 --> 00:28:25,870
Yeah. So how do you bring that up? Okay, so you

472
00:28:25,910 --> 00:28:29,886
have, I don't know, Bear and Cat

473
00:28:30,078 --> 00:28:33,950
and they're a couple. Okay. Okay. And we like

474
00:28:33,990 --> 00:28:37,838
to be with bear and Cat. Okay. But now Bear and Cat moved

475
00:28:37,854 --> 00:28:41,758
a little further and they

476
00:28:41,814 --> 00:28:45,438
can't see us as often. Okay. We can't hang out as often. Right.

477
00:28:45,494 --> 00:28:49,532
Yeah. Schedules have gotten chaotic. Sure. Now Bear and

478
00:28:49,556 --> 00:28:52,860
Cat have found possum and rabbit.

479
00:28:53,020 --> 00:28:56,540
Oh, wow. They're all friends now.

480
00:28:56,580 --> 00:29:00,044
Okay. Okay. Right. And now we just see Bear and

481
00:29:00,052 --> 00:29:03,740
Cat whenever we have like, I don't know, neighborly functions or something.

482
00:29:03,860 --> 00:29:07,628
Sure, sure. But they don't want to play or. Meet and greets, things like that.

483
00:29:07,684 --> 00:29:11,212
But there's like no more one on one. Yeah. One on

484
00:29:11,236 --> 00:29:15,080
one dinners or any kind of sexual. Do you ask barren cat?

485
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,120
Absolutely. Me too. But I mean, I,

486
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,176
I think most would not. I think that,

487
00:29:21,248 --> 00:29:24,424
that there's a lot of people that are afraid to speak up.

488
00:29:24,512 --> 00:29:28,248
Yeah. And, and we run into this a lot. Yes, we do.

489
00:29:28,304 --> 00:29:31,400
It's an uncomfortable conversation. It's an, it's an

490
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,952
uncomfortable feeling to have to make yourself vulnerable

491
00:29:35,016 --> 00:29:37,740
enough to call somebody and say, hey,

492
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:42,530
so I don't know what's going on, but this

493
00:29:42,570 --> 00:29:45,698
is how I'm feeling. This is what I feel is going

494
00:29:45,754 --> 00:29:49,362
on. And I don't know any better. So maybe you can

495
00:29:49,386 --> 00:29:53,270
tell me otherwise. Yeah. And it will open up a conversation.

496
00:29:53,690 --> 00:29:56,930
And it, it's not a movie, you know, it's not

497
00:29:56,970 --> 00:30:01,010
going to always end up in a bad. We are, we are all adults.

498
00:30:01,090 --> 00:30:04,110
Yeah. We are not always going to get along. No.

499
00:30:04,890 --> 00:30:08,630
We all have different feelings. We react differently.

500
00:30:09,030 --> 00:30:12,398
And I, I, I would be 100 honest

501
00:30:12,414 --> 00:30:15,902
with somebody, you know, if whatever, for whatever reason.

502
00:30:16,006 --> 00:30:19,134
Yeah, it is. If they asked, I'd be like, oh,

503
00:30:19,182 --> 00:30:23,582
yeah, you know, yeah, whatever. Because it's never, it's usually

504
00:30:23,646 --> 00:30:27,182
never because they did something wrong. Because if they did something wrong, I would

505
00:30:27,206 --> 00:30:30,862
tell them right then and there. Right, right. You know,

506
00:30:30,886 --> 00:30:35,012
the, and schedules and what happens a lot too. And like for us,

507
00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:38,888
there's a situation where we have several people

508
00:30:38,944 --> 00:30:41,060
who want to hang out and our,

509
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,032
our calendars never seem to mesh up, you know, that sort of thing.

510
00:30:45,136 --> 00:30:48,820
And every time we try, it just doesn't work out.

511
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,656
And then I end up feeling bad because I'm like, dude, you know,

512
00:30:53,808 --> 00:30:57,224
I should really try and make time for this person we have,

513
00:30:57,312 --> 00:31:00,792
you know, but. And they're still our friends. They're still our

514
00:31:00,816 --> 00:31:04,780
friends. Yeah. We have Friends. But I just feel horrible. We have had friends who.

515
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:09,636
I think we've known him for about two years already. Yeah. And we've

516
00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:13,120
only probably hung out four times. Maybe five.

517
00:31:13,740 --> 00:31:16,804
Nah, it's been more like six. Six or eight. Okay. Okay. Okay.

518
00:31:16,852 --> 00:31:21,284
It's less than 10. Yeah. Less than 10 times. Right. We absolutely

519
00:31:21,332 --> 00:31:25,120
love them. Oh, we adore them. Yeah. She's got a.

520
00:31:25,820 --> 00:31:29,348
A nursing schedule, you know. Yeah. And. And it's like,

521
00:31:29,484 --> 00:31:32,660
we can never just match. Yeah. It's. It's difficult.

522
00:31:32,740 --> 00:31:36,252
We see each other on maybe whenever we. When they have time

523
00:31:36,276 --> 00:31:39,372
off, you know, they're taking a little vacation or whatever. Spontaneous.

524
00:31:39,436 --> 00:31:42,780
When we have the time. Yeah. You know, but when we

525
00:31:42,820 --> 00:31:45,932
see each other, it. We pick up. Like, we never left off. I love

526
00:31:45,956 --> 00:31:49,212
that. And I. I feel like I do that with pretty much all

527
00:31:49,236 --> 00:31:52,636
of my friends is like, we may not talk every single day.

528
00:31:52,708 --> 00:31:56,460
Yeah. But we definitely pick up

529
00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:59,884
where we left off. Yes. When we do talk. Yeah. And that's nice.

530
00:32:00,012 --> 00:32:03,452
That's really cool. Now there are, you know, there are some people that

531
00:32:03,476 --> 00:32:06,572
you do talk to every single day because you just get that vibe. You get

532
00:32:06,596 --> 00:32:09,892
that. That whole just the connection

533
00:32:09,956 --> 00:32:13,972
is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, it is hard, but I

534
00:32:13,996 --> 00:32:17,940
feel like going back to that. If you. If your

535
00:32:17,980 --> 00:32:21,316
friends are making friends with other friends and you're not involved,

536
00:32:21,428 --> 00:32:24,692
it's okay. Yeah, I think it's okay. You know?

537
00:32:24,796 --> 00:32:27,732
And if you feel like it's not okay, ask them,

538
00:32:27,916 --> 00:32:31,160
like, what's up. Yeah. And if you're.

539
00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:34,780
If you're getting attached. Let's talk about that.

540
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:38,864
If you're getting attached, like, explain yourself,

541
00:32:38,912 --> 00:32:42,208
please. Yeah. You like that?

542
00:32:42,264 --> 00:32:45,824
Yes. That's good. You are. You're hanging out with these friends,

543
00:32:45,912 --> 00:32:48,736
right? And. Okay,

544
00:32:48,768 --> 00:32:51,260
well, we've been hanging out for, like, months,

545
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,520
and our schedules change. Do you

546
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:59,196
ever feel like. Have you ever gotten pressured

547
00:32:59,328 --> 00:33:02,480
by your friends? Pressured in a way of like,

548
00:33:02,860 --> 00:33:05,360
man, you never get to come out. Like, you never,

549
00:33:05,660 --> 00:33:09,428
man, you know, like, you did, like, when you're in high school. I don't feel

550
00:33:09,484 --> 00:33:13,092
like I get pressured like that. I. I don't. I don't get that

551
00:33:13,116 --> 00:33:16,484
at all. I've been lucky that most of the people that invite

552
00:33:16,532 --> 00:33:19,844
me will invite us places, and for whatever

553
00:33:19,892 --> 00:33:23,588
reason, whether it be anxiety or whatever, that I can't go.

554
00:33:23,724 --> 00:33:27,470
Yeah. I always tell him, because I feel horrible. I always tell him,

555
00:33:27,510 --> 00:33:31,102
you know, just don't let that deter you from inviting me again. We have a

556
00:33:31,126 --> 00:33:34,430
lot of those. Yeah. Okay. You need to stop that. I can't help it.

557
00:33:34,470 --> 00:33:37,998
But I'm trying. Well, and you know, if everybody would just kind of not ask

558
00:33:38,054 --> 00:33:41,710
you. Oh, that's true. Don't ask him. If you want

559
00:33:41,830 --> 00:33:45,406
something, you should really just ask me. Yeah,

560
00:33:45,518 --> 00:33:48,850
yeah. I mean, especially schedule. Like, schedule wise.

561
00:33:49,190 --> 00:33:52,782
That is because he doesn't manage that. Just. We have a very anxiety.

562
00:33:52,846 --> 00:33:56,158
We have a. Yeah, yeah. And I'll be more than happy to schedule something

563
00:33:56,214 --> 00:33:59,290
for you. Well, that's very sweet of you. My goodness. Yes.

564
00:33:59,370 --> 00:34:03,706
That was sweet. I mean, we have to make friends. Yeah. Now I.

565
00:34:03,778 --> 00:34:06,986
We all have. We have the same friends. Yes, we do. Right?

566
00:34:07,058 --> 00:34:10,586
Yeah. Do you think. Do you think it's okay

567
00:34:10,618 --> 00:34:14,522
for you to have friends that I am not. Part of that

568
00:34:14,546 --> 00:34:17,546
you're not part of a female. That is a really good question.

569
00:34:17,618 --> 00:34:20,874
Right? You have a female. Yeah. You have a female friend.

570
00:34:20,962 --> 00:34:24,594
Sure. And. Oh, you do have a female

571
00:34:24,642 --> 00:34:27,890
friend. Oh, wow. Take it easy. You have a female friend that I have never

572
00:34:27,930 --> 00:34:31,618
met. Well, I met her in passing

573
00:34:31,714 --> 00:34:35,010
because I don't remember really many. Like when we

574
00:34:35,050 --> 00:34:38,770
first started ls and it was very.

575
00:34:38,890 --> 00:34:41,714
It was very hard. Like, I haven't met her.

576
00:34:41,882 --> 00:34:44,990
Now this person loves me.

577
00:34:45,370 --> 00:34:49,516
She loves me and I freaking love her. But before that,

578
00:34:49,668 --> 00:34:52,840
I did not like that you were friends with her.

579
00:34:53,140 --> 00:34:56,332
Like. Oh, right. Yeah. I had to

580
00:34:56,356 --> 00:34:59,100
show them who it was. I didn't like that you were friends with her because

581
00:34:59,140 --> 00:35:02,444
you were very. You wouldn't share any convers. Like you

582
00:35:02,452 --> 00:35:06,028
wouldn't share. I mean, you always had access to it. Well, yeah, but I don't.

583
00:35:06,124 --> 00:35:10,028
Sometimes it's nice when you just share. Remember transparent.

584
00:35:10,124 --> 00:35:13,612
Right. Okay. Okay, Right. Roger that. Yes. So I

585
00:35:13,636 --> 00:35:17,182
would get like, really hurt.

586
00:35:17,326 --> 00:35:21,102
And so she's a friend. I've. I really consider

587
00:35:21,206 --> 00:35:24,894
her your friend. Not so much our friend.

588
00:35:24,982 --> 00:35:28,686
So. And I will say that, yes, she is my friend more

589
00:35:28,758 --> 00:35:32,094
so than she is our friend. But she has expressed

590
00:35:32,142 --> 00:35:35,758
interest in being our friend. Oh, of course. The. The thing is,

591
00:35:35,814 --> 00:35:39,182
is that we just never set up anything for her to

592
00:35:39,206 --> 00:35:43,196
come hang out with us. Yeah. And so if we did and

593
00:35:43,268 --> 00:35:46,156
she did, then she in turn would be our friend.

594
00:35:46,228 --> 00:35:49,596
Yeah. But I get what you're going there. I see what you're

595
00:35:49,628 --> 00:35:52,924
doing. Yeah. And boy, that was good. Look at that. You had some big dick

596
00:35:52,972 --> 00:35:56,732
energy on that one, didn't you? Damn. Always. Oh, you got

597
00:35:56,756 --> 00:35:59,932
me revved up, girl. Hit me again. Come on.

598
00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:03,836
Yeah. So like. Like that, you juicy. You're not. I.

599
00:36:03,908 --> 00:36:06,968
I don't have any single male friends.

600
00:36:07,124 --> 00:36:10,688
I have vanilla. Vanilla. I do. Because I do.

601
00:36:10,744 --> 00:36:14,128
I've been in school. I mean, you have single male friends. But I don't have.

602
00:36:14,184 --> 00:36:16,540
I don't have. I do.

603
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:21,216
Oh, yeah, you have single male friends.

604
00:36:21,368 --> 00:36:25,472
Good impression. Thank you. Yeah, I had to pantomime.

605
00:36:25,616 --> 00:36:28,976
I loved it. So you do have single

606
00:36:29,008 --> 00:36:32,320
male friends. Yeah. And that is totally okay with me.

607
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:36,836
Yeah. Would you like that? That's your thing. Yeah, that's so.

608
00:36:36,988 --> 00:36:39,972
So there you go. That. That's your thing. Like, that's your kink and it's not

609
00:36:39,996 --> 00:36:44,068
mine. We can't bring that. Yeah, but that's another. But, see, it's my kink sexually.

610
00:36:44,244 --> 00:36:46,440
It's not my kink friendshiply.

611
00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:50,356
Oh, I don't care that you're

612
00:36:50,388 --> 00:36:52,852
friends with him. You want to go out on a date with him, by all

613
00:36:52,876 --> 00:36:55,400
means. Do you. Boo Boo. Yeah. Yeah.

614
00:36:55,740 --> 00:36:58,930
But the sexual part of it is the king. Yeah.

615
00:36:59,020 --> 00:37:02,454
You fucking going and getting ice cream, That's. That's not a

616
00:37:02,462 --> 00:37:05,142
part of my kink. I don't get off to that. You know what I'm saying?

617
00:37:05,246 --> 00:37:08,406
Yes. I got you. Yeah. Yeah, I got you. Yeah.

618
00:37:08,438 --> 00:37:11,542
Riding a tandem bicycle down the street on Main street doesn't do

619
00:37:11,566 --> 00:37:15,014
anything for me sexually. I'm sorry. Sorry. I.

620
00:37:15,102 --> 00:37:18,646
Sorry to disappoint you. Oh, yeah, sorry.

621
00:37:18,678 --> 00:37:21,830
I got revved up there. So. Yeah. Okay. But, yeah, you have friends

622
00:37:21,870 --> 00:37:24,810
that are not. That aren't mine,

623
00:37:25,140 --> 00:37:27,836
that aren't ours. Right. So, yeah. Right.

624
00:37:27,988 --> 00:37:31,740
And do you. And it doesn't bother you? Not at all. Yeah, it used

625
00:37:31,780 --> 00:37:34,940
to bother me, probably up to recently. Yeah.

626
00:37:35,100 --> 00:37:40,060
Because I'm very. That's where we differ. I am very transparent

627
00:37:40,140 --> 00:37:43,612
in that I tell you who I'm friends with all the time

628
00:37:43,716 --> 00:37:46,892
or I'll tell you when someone messages me. Yeah.

629
00:37:46,956 --> 00:37:50,800
Just because that's my thing. I'm a sharer.

630
00:37:51,220 --> 00:37:54,668
Well, so you used to. Because there was very few people

631
00:37:54,724 --> 00:37:58,684
messaging you. I would say now, God, there's too many. There's an overabundance

632
00:37:58,732 --> 00:38:02,076
of messages coming out. I don't think you tell me about every single message.

633
00:38:02,188 --> 00:38:05,804
No, probably not. Yeah. Oh, because I, I. You asked me to

634
00:38:05,812 --> 00:38:09,180
open your messenger and I was like, who are these people? Remind me to ask

635
00:38:09,220 --> 00:38:12,732
you about if there's, like, an automated, automatic, like, reply. What,

636
00:38:12,756 --> 00:38:15,436
do I work for Facebook? I don't get paid for this. I'm sure there is.

637
00:38:15,508 --> 00:38:19,890
Well, anyhow, I think that that was a really good point about.

638
00:38:20,270 --> 00:38:23,750
About having some people. Yeah. I think

639
00:38:23,870 --> 00:38:27,030
some people really get jealous about that. Yeah.

640
00:38:27,110 --> 00:38:30,198
Yeah. I'm really glad that you're not jealous

641
00:38:30,294 --> 00:38:33,926
of my friendships with the opposite

642
00:38:33,958 --> 00:38:37,766
sex. Yeah. No, because I have always Been a big believer

643
00:38:37,798 --> 00:38:40,934
in it doesn't really matter. Right. What the.

644
00:38:41,022 --> 00:38:44,568
And you've always seen me, I have always treated my male friends and

645
00:38:44,624 --> 00:38:48,232
my female friends the same. Yes. Yeah. I. I was

646
00:38:48,256 --> 00:38:51,512
always affectionate with all of them. Yeah. And you know, I always told them

647
00:38:51,536 --> 00:38:53,960
that I loved them. I always hugged them and kiss them and do that.

648
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,616
Did that whole thing. And it didn't matter who they were.

649
00:38:56,688 --> 00:39:00,376
Right. So that's never really changed. No. For me.

650
00:39:00,448 --> 00:39:04,312
No. Yeah. No, no, it hasn't. Now I

651
00:39:04,336 --> 00:39:07,688
forgot what I was going to ask you. Bummer. I know. This is what happens

652
00:39:07,704 --> 00:39:11,510
when we do it on the fly. You didn't make no notes.

653
00:39:12,730 --> 00:39:16,242
You're so silly. My goodness. I'll tell you what,

654
00:39:16,266 --> 00:39:19,250
though, you are cute, so it doesn't matter. Yeah. Well,

655
00:39:19,290 --> 00:39:23,282
you know, I tell you, I like having friends.

656
00:39:23,386 --> 00:39:27,522
And what I realize is that

657
00:39:27,546 --> 00:39:30,510
the friendship is more valuable than the sex.

658
00:39:31,770 --> 00:39:36,236
So if sex organically happens, frigging awesome.

659
00:39:36,428 --> 00:39:40,652
And if sex happens at the beginning, great. If it happens

660
00:39:40,796 --> 00:39:44,508
towards the longevity, you know, if it's a while before it happens,

661
00:39:44,604 --> 00:39:47,868
but it still happens, awesome. If it never happens,

662
00:39:47,964 --> 00:39:52,092
it's all good. It's all good. Because it's the friendship

663
00:39:52,236 --> 00:39:55,516
that really matters in all of this, Right? Yeah. But I didn't

664
00:39:55,548 --> 00:39:58,812
used to see it that way. Me neither. When we

665
00:39:58,836 --> 00:40:03,184
were in this for several years, I didn't. I looked at it more like sexual

666
00:40:03,232 --> 00:40:06,688
conquest. Yes. I wanted to attain this.

667
00:40:06,744 --> 00:40:10,256
I wanted to have these experiences. Yeah. Yeah.

668
00:40:10,288 --> 00:40:13,584
You looked for it for. You didn't care if they were your. Friends or not,

669
00:40:13,672 --> 00:40:17,088
Right? Yeah. Most of the time. Do this. Yeah. Most of the time I'd

670
00:40:17,104 --> 00:40:20,460
be like, cool. Hanging out before or after the sex,

671
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:24,480
but then I'd be like, wait, we're gonna hang out again?

672
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:28,454
And we're. And we're not gonna play like, what? Yeah. What's the point of that?

673
00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:31,994
That's kind of silly. You know what I mean? It's happened.

674
00:40:32,042 --> 00:40:35,386
But, you know, I mean, that was my way of thinking was why.

675
00:40:35,458 --> 00:40:39,050
Why would we do that? Yeah. And I didn't realize that other

676
00:40:39,090 --> 00:40:42,266
people were looking for friendships and I was just like,

677
00:40:42,418 --> 00:40:45,674
why do they want to hang out? That's silly. Yeah. We're not gonna.

678
00:40:45,722 --> 00:40:50,410
Well, you used to always get to the. The whole. When people

679
00:40:50,450 --> 00:40:53,386
wanted to be your friends, you would always think they were coming for me.

680
00:40:53,538 --> 00:40:56,748
Yes. And it was. It was. Well,

681
00:40:56,804 --> 00:41:02,492
because I did not have that kind of want.

682
00:41:02,596 --> 00:41:06,012
People didn't. Right. People didn't want me think people. Well,

683
00:41:06,036 --> 00:41:09,160
if they did, they didn't speak up. I'LL tell you that much.

684
00:41:09,780 --> 00:41:13,388
And realistically, I already suffered from a very low

685
00:41:13,444 --> 00:41:17,228
self image and a low self esteem, and I

686
00:41:17,284 --> 00:41:20,844
went into this lifestyle with these preconceived notions that

687
00:41:20,852 --> 00:41:23,820
you could just walk in and there was women throwing their feet at you,

688
00:41:23,860 --> 00:41:27,448
ready to have sex with you. Because I watch a lot of porn and it's

689
00:41:27,464 --> 00:41:30,620
not like that at all. And realistically,

690
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:35,128
more times than not, you have to make some

691
00:41:35,184 --> 00:41:39,592
sort of connection, some sort of friendship in order to even

692
00:41:39,776 --> 00:41:43,112
get past the gatekeeper for sex. Because not

693
00:41:43,136 --> 00:41:47,096
everybody is as transactional as you. Yeah. And frankly,

694
00:41:47,208 --> 00:41:51,352
I'm not transactional. I need to establish

695
00:41:51,416 --> 00:41:54,680
that connection and that friendship. Even with me, you're not transactional.

696
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,052
I can't tell you. Hey, like, I have to, like, put it in your head

697
00:41:58,076 --> 00:42:01,508
ahead of time. I'm feeling a little dominant today.

698
00:42:01,564 --> 00:42:05,524
Nah, brah, you need to work. You better buy me dinner.

699
00:42:05,572 --> 00:42:08,596
I know. And me, I'm like, you can just tap me. And I'm like,

700
00:42:08,748 --> 00:42:12,244
yeah. I'm not like that. You. You just. You just flip

701
00:42:12,292 --> 00:42:15,508
the switch. Yeah. You flip the vagina

702
00:42:15,604 --> 00:42:18,836
switch and we're ready to rock and roll. I don't operate

703
00:42:18,868 --> 00:42:22,116
that way. You gotta wind me. You gotta dine me. Yeah. You gotta

704
00:42:22,148 --> 00:42:25,620
seduce me. Now do you play a little swv?

705
00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:29,412
You have a friend. Okay. Yes, I do. I am more

706
00:42:29,436 --> 00:42:33,092
comfortable with you having LS friends than I would be of you

707
00:42:33,116 --> 00:42:35,732
having vanilla friends. Yeah.

708
00:42:35,876 --> 00:42:39,460
Yeah. Well, do you feel the same way about that? I do,

709
00:42:39,580 --> 00:42:42,388
actually. And there are reasons for it.

710
00:42:42,444 --> 00:42:45,892
Yeah. The primary reason is that. That I

711
00:42:45,916 --> 00:42:49,412
would. That I'd feel more comfortable about it is because there's a big sense of

712
00:42:49,436 --> 00:42:53,180
openness. There's no reason to hide things

713
00:42:53,340 --> 00:42:56,924
if you're not doing anything wrong. And that's always been kind of

714
00:42:56,932 --> 00:43:00,220
my thing. It's like, why would I feel the need. The moment I need

715
00:43:00,340 --> 00:43:04,140
to hide something, then this conversation is inappropriate.

716
00:43:04,220 --> 00:43:08,044
Yeah. If I feel like this is something my wife cannot see,

717
00:43:08,212 --> 00:43:11,868
then I'm saying something or they're saying something that is

718
00:43:11,924 --> 00:43:14,924
too inappropriate. Right. And I need to put a stop to that. Yeah.

719
00:43:14,972 --> 00:43:18,348
You know what I mean? Yeah. And so in the vanilla world,

720
00:43:18,404 --> 00:43:22,112
you run into that. Yeah. You run into unhappy people

721
00:43:22,216 --> 00:43:25,540
who are in unhappy relationships.

722
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,584
And the only way that they're going to get attention is because

723
00:43:29,672 --> 00:43:33,216
you're being friendly. Right. And all of a sudden

724
00:43:33,328 --> 00:43:38,180
your friendliness is being taken as attention.

725
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,448
And that's the attention that they've been yearning for.

726
00:43:42,584 --> 00:43:45,980
And so then they. They pull you in more and they want more of it.

727
00:43:46,510 --> 00:43:50,166
And before you know it, they're acting in a way that's completely

728
00:43:50,198 --> 00:43:53,974
dishonest. Yes. And unethical. As opposed

729
00:43:54,022 --> 00:43:57,974
to the lifestyle where we all are under the same

730
00:43:58,062 --> 00:44:01,702
kind of umbrella of non monogamy and

731
00:44:01,726 --> 00:44:06,246
we all have these unwritten written rules that

732
00:44:06,318 --> 00:44:09,382
say this is what we can do and this is what we can't do.

733
00:44:09,406 --> 00:44:12,516
And we're all very open about it. We communicate about it.

734
00:44:12,598 --> 00:44:16,216
Yeah. It's just better. Comfortable. It's comfortable.

735
00:44:16,328 --> 00:44:20,040
Very much. Yeah. Yeah. And. And it eases my

736
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,820
mind. Yeah. Which I need.

737
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,672
I. I'm that person. I'm very protective.

738
00:44:25,736 --> 00:44:29,720
Sure. So I need to be able to be comfortable and

739
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:32,376
to know the person. You gotta trust. Trust.

740
00:44:32,488 --> 00:44:35,848
Sure. You know, I. I know that the way

741
00:44:35,904 --> 00:44:39,560
I am, I'm. I'm a little reckless with how I

742
00:44:40,020 --> 00:44:44,092
manage my friendships and how I, you know, I just really kind

743
00:44:44,116 --> 00:44:47,788
of throw myself into these people. And you

744
00:44:47,924 --> 00:44:52,300
kind of are a little standoffish for a while because you

745
00:44:52,340 --> 00:44:56,172
don't know where things are standing. And everything is kind of a chess game for

746
00:44:56,196 --> 00:44:58,764
you. You're just like, kind of like observing everything.

747
00:44:58,852 --> 00:45:02,120
Yes. And I just go feet first.

748
00:45:02,820 --> 00:45:07,064
And I know it's always you trying to protect me and

749
00:45:07,152 --> 00:45:10,744
keep me cautious and be like, hey, look, look at this.

750
00:45:10,832 --> 00:45:14,408
Yeah. Yeah. Just keep your eyes out for this and that sort

751
00:45:14,424 --> 00:45:17,896
of thing. And. And you know, it used to irk me.

752
00:45:17,968 --> 00:45:22,280
Yeah, I know. Because I felt like you were being

753
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:26,024
that crazy wife. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I. I felt like you

754
00:45:26,032 --> 00:45:28,904
were being that crazy, jealous wife. Yeah. And I kind of stopped for a.

755
00:45:28,912 --> 00:45:32,072
While and I was like, you know, you can't. You can't be giving me your

756
00:45:32,096 --> 00:45:35,296
opinions on people that I am attracted to

757
00:45:35,448 --> 00:45:39,344
because that's not fair. Because you know that you're planting

758
00:45:39,392 --> 00:45:42,528
this idea in my head and I'm going to start

759
00:45:42,584 --> 00:45:46,032
seeing this certain thing and I'm going to be like, no. And then I

760
00:45:46,056 --> 00:45:48,864
started really listening to you. Yeah.

761
00:45:48,992 --> 00:45:52,736
Because I started noticing a lot of the stuff you were pointing out

762
00:45:52,808 --> 00:45:56,240
was actually the case. Yeah. And there was a lot of

763
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,696
toxic people in my life that I needed to not have.

764
00:45:59,768 --> 00:46:03,100
Yes. And I started seeing that. And then you would

765
00:46:03,140 --> 00:46:06,380
speak up when I would find people that weren't. That were

766
00:46:06,420 --> 00:46:10,700
okay. So I felt like you were being really trying

767
00:46:10,740 --> 00:46:13,452
to be not so biased. Yeah.

768
00:46:13,596 --> 00:46:17,420
Yeah. Because I can be. Right. I could be easily.

769
00:46:17,580 --> 00:46:20,556
Easily and rightfully so. I mean, we're married.

770
00:46:20,668 --> 00:46:24,076
It's hard to not be. Yeah. You can't

771
00:46:24,108 --> 00:46:27,244
be me. I can't. I'm very.

772
00:46:27,332 --> 00:46:30,340
That would Be nice. I'm very passive about that.

773
00:46:30,420 --> 00:46:34,228
Yeah. Yeah. You know, and we balance. We do. We balance

774
00:46:34,404 --> 00:46:37,764
very well, I think. Yeah. You know, I'm.

775
00:46:37,892 --> 00:46:41,588
You've always said that I was on a different level than you

776
00:46:41,644 --> 00:46:44,760
in every step of this journey. Yes.

777
00:46:46,220 --> 00:46:49,492
We don't swing together all the

778
00:46:49,516 --> 00:46:52,676
time. Right. We swing differently.

779
00:46:52,788 --> 00:46:55,966
Wow. I like that. That's good. We swing differently,

780
00:46:56,108 --> 00:46:59,498
but it. That works for us because it's

781
00:46:59,674 --> 00:47:02,586
the same when it needs to be the same. Right.

782
00:47:02,738 --> 00:47:06,426
Without even saying it. I get.

783
00:47:06,498 --> 00:47:09,994
And it has the flexibility to be different. Oh,

784
00:47:10,042 --> 00:47:13,258
wow. Yeah. That is really insightful. Yeah. So.

785
00:47:13,394 --> 00:47:16,938
And it works for us, you know. Yeah, No, I. I absolutely agree.

786
00:47:16,994 --> 00:47:20,730
It does work for us. And. And, you know, here's the

787
00:47:20,770 --> 00:47:23,684
thing, and I want to express this to everybody.

788
00:47:23,732 --> 00:47:27,320
Listening. Don't put people on a pedestal.

789
00:47:27,980 --> 00:47:32,052
So you hear us on this podcast and maybe

790
00:47:32,116 --> 00:47:35,840
think, oh, wow, they really have things figured out. No,

791
00:47:36,220 --> 00:47:39,428
we don't. We are currently still.

792
00:47:39,564 --> 00:47:42,868
Yeah. Thirteen years in, and we are still learning a

793
00:47:42,924 --> 00:47:47,136
lot about this lifestyle, learning a lot about

794
00:47:47,308 --> 00:47:51,580
the. Our personal journey, both as a couple and separately.

795
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,400
And we're learning about our marriage, our relationship,

796
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:59,180
everything that we're doing. And we're saying it's a daily

797
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:03,352
task for us where we have to sit and navigate our

798
00:48:03,376 --> 00:48:06,552
feelings the way we're. We're talking here on the podcast.

799
00:48:06,616 --> 00:48:10,248
Yeah. Yeah. This is what we do. We have these

800
00:48:10,304 --> 00:48:14,536
discussions, because if you can't be this open and honest with

801
00:48:14,608 --> 00:48:17,432
your loved ones and your friends,

802
00:48:17,616 --> 00:48:21,560
then who can you be? You know, you really have to be

803
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:26,344
able to have these open and nonjudgmental discussions

804
00:48:26,472 --> 00:48:29,992
with everybody that's in your circle, including your spouse.

805
00:48:30,056 --> 00:48:33,656
Yeah. And so I. You know, I just want to make sure that everybody knows

806
00:48:33,688 --> 00:48:36,936
we are. We are certainly not experts on this.

807
00:48:37,008 --> 00:48:40,760
We aren't by any means the perfect couple for

808
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:44,914
this. We don't have it all figured out. We're just people,

809
00:48:45,002 --> 00:48:48,242
man. This is just us. This is us, you know,

810
00:48:48,266 --> 00:48:51,890
unapologetically. And, you know, we're still trying

811
00:48:51,930 --> 00:48:55,746
to figure things out ourselves. Yeah. And we're. We're figuring out

812
00:48:55,818 --> 00:48:59,250
our friendships as well, and we're figuring out how we

813
00:48:59,370 --> 00:49:02,098
feel about these different situations.

814
00:49:02,194 --> 00:49:05,938
Yeah. And so I think it's. It's really important to

815
00:49:05,994 --> 00:49:09,428
recognize that. So I did

816
00:49:09,484 --> 00:49:13,300
want to bring up one thing. I had a good friend of mine

817
00:49:13,460 --> 00:49:17,188
who brought up, actually, the topic of

818
00:49:17,324 --> 00:49:20,708
friendships, and she had

819
00:49:20,764 --> 00:49:24,324
worded it in a very specific way, and I couldn't figure out

820
00:49:24,332 --> 00:49:27,764
a way to summarize it, and we may have covered some of

821
00:49:27,772 --> 00:49:31,044
it. We may have not, but I really want to read this word

822
00:49:31,092 --> 00:49:34,446
for word because, one, I love the way it was explained.

823
00:49:34,588 --> 00:49:38,442
Yeah. But it's also incredibly long. And I. I thought all

824
00:49:38,466 --> 00:49:43,450
day about it. I couldn't figure out how to summarize this. So she says how

825
00:49:43,490 --> 00:49:46,698
to navigate lifestyle. Friendships that

826
00:49:46,754 --> 00:49:50,510
move to real life. Friendships and back and forth,

827
00:49:50,850 --> 00:49:54,122
but not getting too attached. Where jealousy

828
00:49:54,186 --> 00:49:57,370
enters in when one party starts playing

829
00:49:57,410 --> 00:50:00,986
with others more. So I really liked

830
00:50:01,018 --> 00:50:05,042
the way that that was worded, but there's really no other

831
00:50:05,066 --> 00:50:08,402
way to summarize it. And so with that being said, what are

832
00:50:08,426 --> 00:50:11,634
your thoughts on that? I think we covered a

833
00:50:11,642 --> 00:50:15,122
lot of it. Yeah, I do. Yeah. Yeah. I think we

834
00:50:15,146 --> 00:50:19,042
covered a good amount of it. It seems like it. Yeah. It seems like if

835
00:50:19,066 --> 00:50:22,738
we didn't, you can just let us know. Well, you know,

836
00:50:22,794 --> 00:50:26,946
one thing we. I definitely think this. This discussion is

837
00:50:27,018 --> 00:50:30,114
so open. Like, it's very open ended. Yeah.

838
00:50:30,162 --> 00:50:33,570
Open ended. Yeah, for sure. One thing we didn't discuss,

839
00:50:33,690 --> 00:50:37,218
though, is when one party starts playing with

840
00:50:37,274 --> 00:50:41,010
others more. I thought that was interesting. Well, it was.

841
00:50:41,050 --> 00:50:44,002
Remember the bear and the cat and the possum? No,

842
00:50:44,026 --> 00:50:46,830
but what about one party in the.

843
00:50:47,290 --> 00:50:51,122
In the. In the relationship? One party in the

844
00:50:51,146 --> 00:50:54,744
couple? What about that? So, like, me and you. Yeah.

845
00:50:54,792 --> 00:50:58,184
Say it's me and you. Okay. And you're playing

846
00:50:58,272 --> 00:51:01,448
more with the other. Couple because we do separate. Right.

847
00:51:01,584 --> 00:51:04,376
Or I'm just bringing a different angle to it.

848
00:51:04,448 --> 00:51:07,752
Okay. Well, it's hard for

849
00:51:07,776 --> 00:51:10,580
me to answer because it wouldn't happen.

850
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:13,592
I'll give you an example. Okay. Okay. Just to kind of give you a better

851
00:51:13,616 --> 00:51:17,384
picture, go. You and I are friends with another couple.

852
00:51:17,432 --> 00:51:20,440
Okay. And we're really close to this couple. Okay.

853
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:23,848
So much so that I'm comfortable with you playing with them separately.

854
00:51:23,944 --> 00:51:27,524
Yeah. You're comfortable with me playing with them separately? Separately, yeah. We've done it

855
00:51:27,532 --> 00:51:29,908
before. Everybody's comfortable. Okay.

856
00:51:30,084 --> 00:51:33,332
But all of a sudden, I start to

857
00:51:33,356 --> 00:51:37,124
notice that you're going over and playing with them way

858
00:51:37,212 --> 00:51:41,028
more than the opportunities that I get to go

859
00:51:41,164 --> 00:51:44,740
and play with them. Okay. And I noticed that when we're all

860
00:51:44,780 --> 00:51:48,420
out together, we'll go to a club or whatever. You'll be

861
00:51:48,460 --> 00:51:51,284
more in the mix with them than I will.

862
00:51:51,372 --> 00:51:54,280
I would bring it up to their attention. Would you? Yes.

863
00:51:54,780 --> 00:51:58,900
Really? Yeah. Yeah. And. And what would you say for

864
00:51:58,940 --> 00:52:02,532
me? Yeah, I would say that Adam and I played.

865
00:52:02,636 --> 00:52:05,972
You know, I'd be like, so we're noticing that I'm playing with you

866
00:52:05,996 --> 00:52:08,080
a little more. You know,

867
00:52:09,340 --> 00:52:12,596
is there a problem? Do you not like My husband anymore.

868
00:52:12,788 --> 00:52:15,972
And whatever they would tell me, you know, say. They didn't say.

869
00:52:15,996 --> 00:52:19,252
They're like, no, we just don't vibe with him anymore. Okay, well, I'm sorry to

870
00:52:19,276 --> 00:52:21,920
say that, but you're not going to vibe with me then.

871
00:52:22,220 --> 00:52:25,748
Wow. Yeah. That. Yeah. And I would,

872
00:52:25,884 --> 00:52:29,972
I would stop it if it was two times too many.

873
00:52:30,156 --> 00:52:33,524
Really? Yes. Yeah. You are pretty good about.

874
00:52:33,612 --> 00:52:37,620
Yeah. You're kind of like, I don't know. I saw it happening with you because

875
00:52:37,660 --> 00:52:40,884
I'm so comfortable and open and I would tell you.

876
00:52:40,972 --> 00:52:44,492
Yeah, I'm seeing it two times too many. I got you.

877
00:52:44,636 --> 00:52:47,276
Yeah. So it's almost like the. No repeats.

878
00:52:47,388 --> 00:52:50,840
Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. I'd be like,

879
00:52:51,380 --> 00:52:54,080
you're repeating way too much. Yeah.

880
00:52:54,500 --> 00:52:57,916
Sorry. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Better start paying a bill.

881
00:52:58,068 --> 00:53:01,644
I better start paying a bill. You're gonna move in. That's right.

882
00:53:01,732 --> 00:53:05,148
That's right. Wow. Yeah. That is fascinating. You are

883
00:53:05,204 --> 00:53:09,052
even, like, hanging out with friends more than me. I'd be like.

884
00:53:09,236 --> 00:53:12,444
And we've talked about that. That's even in the vanilla world. Because you have a

885
00:53:12,452 --> 00:53:16,154
friend of yours who has a similar issue where she,

886
00:53:16,242 --> 00:53:19,642
her boyfriend is constantly choosing the friends over time

887
00:53:19,666 --> 00:53:23,082
with her. Yeah. And I think even I don't get

888
00:53:23,106 --> 00:53:26,202
that. In your 30s and that's still happening.

889
00:53:26,346 --> 00:53:29,770
Like, really? Yeah. That's kind of like grow

890
00:53:29,810 --> 00:53:34,282
up. Right, Right. Well, for me, it's exactly, it's priorities.

891
00:53:34,426 --> 00:53:37,230
Where do you prioritize this relationship? Yeah.

892
00:53:37,650 --> 00:53:41,332
You've always been a big, major, top priority for me.

893
00:53:41,516 --> 00:53:45,812
And that's why I always said, even through the ethical,

894
00:53:45,876 --> 00:53:48,948
non monogamy journey of it and the polyamory thing,

895
00:53:49,084 --> 00:53:52,868
I, I could have really enjoyed polyamory. I think I was

896
00:53:53,004 --> 00:53:57,604
on the poly level, and I don't think you were. No. But even

897
00:53:57,692 --> 00:54:00,900
knowing that I would have chosen you

898
00:54:01,020 --> 00:54:03,956
over that any day, and I did, as a matter of fact.

899
00:54:04,028 --> 00:54:07,530
Yeah, I would choose you over

900
00:54:07,650 --> 00:54:11,194
anything. Yeah. The lifestyle, whatever came up.

901
00:54:11,362 --> 00:54:14,906
You know, I, I, I love my friends and I love them completely,

902
00:54:14,938 --> 00:54:18,442
but you are always my number one. And so

903
00:54:18,626 --> 00:54:21,978
what I love is that even though you, you've only

904
00:54:22,034 --> 00:54:25,562
recently come to this conclusion calmly and

905
00:54:25,586 --> 00:54:29,370
safely, but you've only

906
00:54:29,410 --> 00:54:32,212
recently come to this conclusion that I'm,

907
00:54:32,386 --> 00:54:36,176
I'm absolutely and hopelessly devoted to you. Like Olivia

908
00:54:36,208 --> 00:54:39,580
Newton John saying, well, yes. So much so that,

909
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:43,440
remember, next year we've decided that if

910
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:46,672
we have to go to events and stuff by ourselves and we can go with

911
00:54:46,696 --> 00:54:50,384
our friends. Right. That's what we're going to do. Because, you know,

912
00:54:50,472 --> 00:54:54,160
we're trying to build A Trying to build an empire here. Well, let me.

913
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:57,488
Let me take one even further on that. So in 2025,

914
00:54:57,544 --> 00:55:01,184
we're. We're going to start doing more events, and we're not always going

915
00:55:01,192 --> 00:55:03,712
to be able to go together, so there's going to be times where we go

916
00:55:03,736 --> 00:55:07,500
separately or with friends in situations like that.

917
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:12,240
Say you're feeling a little saucy or say

918
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:16,016
I'm feeling a little hoppy and something

919
00:55:16,088 --> 00:55:19,856
starts happening spicy with a friend. Is that okay?

920
00:55:19,968 --> 00:55:23,930
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. Because the

921
00:55:23,970 --> 00:55:27,162
friends that we have that you would go out with. Yeah.

922
00:55:27,306 --> 00:55:30,234
Are amazing and pretty respectful. Yeah, yeah,

923
00:55:30,282 --> 00:55:33,386
yeah. And I don't give that. That okay.

924
00:55:33,418 --> 00:55:37,178
To. To just anybody. No. They really have to be in.

925
00:55:37,234 --> 00:55:40,970
No, you are my circle, and I appreciate that you

926
00:55:41,010 --> 00:55:44,826
even ask me that. Oh, I have to. Yeah. But I appreciate

927
00:55:44,858 --> 00:55:47,754
it. You know, it's nice. It's nice that I don't have to poke it out

928
00:55:47,762 --> 00:55:51,020
of you. Yeah. No, I mean, I am not an

929
00:55:51,060 --> 00:55:54,588
oversharer like you are as much as you are. I am an over.

930
00:55:54,644 --> 00:55:58,600
And you know who our friends are, and, you know,

931
00:55:59,220 --> 00:56:02,828
you know how I trust them, so. And I think my friends pretty

932
00:56:02,844 --> 00:56:06,108
much know I'm. I'm respectful. I'm.

933
00:56:06,284 --> 00:56:10,412
I think I might be overly respectful. It seems like.

934
00:56:10,596 --> 00:56:14,636
I don't know what that means. I don't know. That seems like a sarcastic me.

935
00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:18,482
Yeah. No, no, you are. You're very respectful.

936
00:56:18,546 --> 00:56:21,842
I am very respectful. Yeah. Yeah. No sarcasm in that at

937
00:56:21,866 --> 00:56:25,378
all. I couldn't tell because it sounded like there was some sarcasm. You're very

938
00:56:25,434 --> 00:56:29,282
respectful. I am extremely respectful. I am so respectful

939
00:56:29,346 --> 00:56:32,642
that women think I'm not interested. That's how respectful

940
00:56:32,706 --> 00:56:36,610
I am. I am so respectful that I

941
00:56:36,650 --> 00:56:40,082
have had women tell me, stop being so respectful.

942
00:56:40,226 --> 00:56:43,728
Oh, you just got called out. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Yeah,

943
00:56:43,744 --> 00:56:48,208
I did. But you're a good boy. You were raised by four

944
00:56:48,264 --> 00:56:52,140
women. I was raised in a house full of women. Full of women.

945
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:55,776
I was taught manners, and I was taught to respect

946
00:56:55,848 --> 00:56:59,136
women. That was the biggest thing. I was raised in a house where you respect

947
00:56:59,208 --> 00:57:03,360
women and our boys do the same. Yeah. But I also love a strong

948
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:06,752
woman. Yes. And I think a lot of

949
00:57:06,776 --> 00:57:09,874
that has to do with that. I adore a strong woman,

950
00:57:10,032 --> 00:57:13,662
and that will draw me in every single time.

951
00:57:13,846 --> 00:57:17,534
Yeah. That's what you are. Oh, my goodness. I just thought of another topic,

952
00:57:17,582 --> 00:57:19,918
and I'll tell you, I'm going to write it down, girl. Write it down.

953
00:57:19,974 --> 00:57:23,038
Yes. Yes. You know, we still have to finish this show.

954
00:57:23,094 --> 00:57:26,638
Okay. Let's do it. Okay, well, we're going to go ahead and wrap up here

955
00:57:26,694 --> 00:57:30,350
because she is getting distracted with other shows, which you will hear

956
00:57:30,390 --> 00:57:33,886
at some point. Yes, I do want to take a quick second and

957
00:57:33,958 --> 00:57:37,512
just say thank you to our community. Thank you to you listeners out there.

958
00:57:37,646 --> 00:57:41,380
We are always appreciative that you guys are joining us every

959
00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:45,908
week, sometimes twice a week. It's really our

960
00:57:45,964 --> 00:57:49,924
pleasure to bring this kind of entertainment

961
00:57:49,972 --> 00:57:53,508
to you. You really get to get to know

962
00:57:53,564 --> 00:57:56,960
us because this is us. This is candidly us.

963
00:57:57,820 --> 00:58:01,412
We don't get any different. If we see you at a club

964
00:58:01,516 --> 00:58:05,502
or at an event and you want to sit and have a chat, this is

965
00:58:05,526 --> 00:58:08,750
what you're going to get. And so I'm really happy

966
00:58:08,830 --> 00:58:12,570
to hear that so many of you are enjoying this show.

967
00:58:12,870 --> 00:58:15,982
And I hope you continue to enjoy what

968
00:58:16,006 --> 00:58:19,070
we bring you in the coming weeks. Yeah,

969
00:58:19,230 --> 00:58:23,182
there will be some events happening throughout

970
00:58:23,246 --> 00:58:26,942
times, and occasionally we may be

971
00:58:27,046 --> 00:58:30,632
hosting podcasts at different places,

972
00:58:30,776 --> 00:58:34,648
and we will definitely keep you privy to that. But as of right now,

973
00:58:34,784 --> 00:58:38,392
we are doing our thing. We're trucking along and I just want

974
00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:41,432
to say thank you. Thank you guys. So with

975
00:58:41,456 --> 00:58:44,712
that, we are going to end this broadcast. We will see

976
00:58:44,736 --> 00:58:47,660
you next week. Bye,