S1 E4 Navigating Intimate Insecurities

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam.

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And I'm Chris. And today we're talking about something that is

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considered a big, major sex killer. Insecurities.

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Yeah, it's a bad one. That's a bad one.

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It has hindered me from meeting

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a lot of people and just doing things. I'm sure.

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I'm sure. I think it affects everybody differently.

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Yeah. I know that. I've looked at

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people who have been considered mean or

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bullish people, and I've always thought, man, they. They've got

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some major insecurities. You. You know, I never thought that until

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you mentioned that to me. Yeah. You know, oftentimes a lot of people

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who are major bullies or just have some

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major mean streaks in them, it's usually because they're

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insecure for one reason or another. It's. It's that whole thing of.

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Of having haters. You know, is it kind

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of like they're. They're being bullies because they want the. To deflect

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the attention away from them or bring more attention to them?

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I. I think it's different for different people, actually,

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but it always revolves around their insecurities.

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Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. It's interesting.

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So, you know, talking about insecurities

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as it relates to the lifestyle is

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kind of a given because it can also apply

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to the vanilla world. Yes. Everyday life. Right.

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Everyday life. Right. Every. I mean, everyday relationships.

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The insecurities are in there. So I just jotted a

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few of them down. We're going to kind of look through these and see what

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we think about these. All right. How if we've run into them

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at all in our own lives, I guarantee. You we've probably run

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into. How many are there? I want to say there's like 12

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of them. I'm pretty sure we run into at least 10.

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Yeah. I don't doubt it. I don't doubt it, actually.

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So the first one that I have here is the fear of not

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being attractive enough. Okay. Now this is One that I

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deal with all the time. It's essentially where

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obviously you can feel insecure about your physical

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appearance compared to the others. You know, we tend to compare

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ourselves to whoever we see, you know, if.

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And you've always had that insecurity, but is your insecurity

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only physically? Is that

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a physical insecurity? That is a physical insecurity.

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Does that make sense? Like. Yeah, Yeah. I don't,

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I, I'm never intimidated by anybody

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personality wise. So there you go. I feel like intimidation and

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insecurity for some reason in my head kind of

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go together. They can, okay, not all the time, but they,

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they can definitely spend mutual time together.

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But yeah, no, I, I, I'm not really intimidated by people

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who maybe have a better personality than me because

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I, I think I have an okay personality. I think I'm. You have a great

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personality. Thank you. And now, you know, you have a great

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personality. Stop. Stop it.

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So, yeah. But, you know, wait, have you always been like that? As far

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as, as your personality? Did you always. Were you never, never insecure

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about your personality? Because I feel like you weren't always this

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nice and cute. I feel like some, somewhere in there must have been an.

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Oh, totally. Absolutely. I was kind of, kind of

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douchey. I wouldn't go douchey.

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I, I'd say for sure. Yeah. I was in,

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in high school. I had a real chip on my shoulder.

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That's right. Yeah. And. That's right. I remember your friends

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telling me that. Yeah. Yeah, I had, I had a real chip on my shoulder.

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I was angry and I felt like I didn't

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fit in. That's right. I felt like I was kind of an outcast in

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school and I, it's funny

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that I say that because I've actually heard people say that a lot of

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us in the swinger community are just a bunch of outcasts.

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Yeah. Now, you thought that of yourself

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now you're older. Right. Do you, did you, do you still

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think that about back then? About me from back

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then? Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, man. I was, Yeah, I was,

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I was very. I could be mean. I could be very

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mean. But it all stemmed around my insecurities.

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Yeah. It stemmed around the, the issues that I had

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with myself. Yeah. And even then,

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comparing myself to others, I was never,

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I wasn't the jock, you know, I wasn't the joke. So it was just the

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personality for you at, throughout school,

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every. I mean, I feel like you always, I feel

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like, yeah, you were really mean back then. Did it have anything besides

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your home life? Did it have anything else to do? Like, was it because

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you were getting bullied? No, I was never getting bullied.

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I was always the big kid, so.

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The husky, right? Yes, the husky.

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There's a word that triggers. I know. I'm so sorry.

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The husky. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a dog now.

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The husky. No, I. I actually,

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I was never bullied. I did get into my fair share

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of fights in high school, but most of them were over. Over women.

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Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. But no, that insecurity

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of not feeling attractive enough.

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Yes. Has been something I dealt with since I was in high

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school. Yeah. And throughout my years and especially in

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the lifestyle. Yeah. Especially for a very long time.

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And I still. I still deal with it. Do you? Oh, yeah.

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I mean, so do I. You know, I.

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In high school, I was a tomboy, so I did not get the attention.

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Well, may. If I did, I don't remember. Yeah. Because I

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was. I think I had my eyes on girls back then, but I had

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to. Date guys to keep up appearances. My parents

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would have disowned me. Are you crazy? So,

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yeah. And so I didn't have

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that. That, you know, I didn't think anybody wanted

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me or felt attracted to me. Okay. Now that I have friends from

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that time, it's totally. I was wrong.

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Really? Yeah. And I was talking to somebody today and I was

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like, well, I was sending pictures. Right. Sure.

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And of course, you get the compliment of, oh, you're so beautiful,

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or you're so sexy. Right. But I actually felt that today.

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Really? I did. That's good. And I don't know what it is that's making me,

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like, change my thought of attractiveness

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about myself, but it's awesome. Let me tell you.

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Yeah. Yes. Feel very sexy. That's good.

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Yeah, that's good. Yeah. I have moments. Yeah. I have moments where I

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feel attractive. Yeah. It's not

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the thirst traps. I do. I do. I post a lot of

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pictures. Yeah. Because I'm trying to

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get used to seeing myself in an

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attractive light. Yeah. Because I'm told that

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women like confidence. And so you told me about women.

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You used to tell me, well, look at the way she's rocking

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it. It's the confidence. It's that confidence, you know,

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because of course, somebody will be like, oh, why is she wearing that? And it's

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like, that's hot. Yeah. That confidence.

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Yeah. And I do understand that. So that's. Yeah, yeah,

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yeah. You are a cutie, though. Thank you. I still am dealing with

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that, though. I'm working on it. Yeah. Oh, the dimple is there. Yeah. I love

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that dimple. So here's another one here.

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One of the. One of the big ones that you could say are around jealousy

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and insecurity about a partner's attraction to

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others. Somebody would have that feeling. Can you

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imagine? No. Yeah.

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So, you know, I feel like that should be

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on my tombstone. Well, now, is it something that you still

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deal with.

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And. Yes, but in different.

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Not as much. So it's like little tiny pieces

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here and there that make me feel insecure. Yeah.

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What do you mean? Well, I get insecure about

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when you like somebody because I'm like,

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why? Why? Yeah,

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why do you like that person? You know? And then I'll be like,

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that person is just a total opposite of me.

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What? And so.

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Yeah, I do not get like that anymore.

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No, no.

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Snobby moment coming up. Okay. Okay. I feel like

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the people where we originally started our lifestyle.

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Yeah. In our little circle,

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were beautiful women, but you could tell

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they were dealing with things that made them.

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The insecurities come out, which was not attractive.

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Okay. You know, so that would make me feel.

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But that would make me feel insecure. Because you like kind of

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women that are like that, like, kind of.

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Oof. You know, like, red flag. Ish.

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Yes. That is your attraction. I run towards the red flag.

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Yes. You used to. Yeah. You used to want to be a. Fixer, especially when

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we were poly. Yeah. So you used to want to be a fixer. Right.

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And so some of these women, I mean, are hot.

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Like. Yeah. You know. Yeah. And I would get. I'd be like,

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why. Why did you not see the red flags?

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I didn't, actually. So I would get super jealous. Like,

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the jealousy would come out because you don't fix anybody.

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You fix. You fix over here. Right. You know, but. But our.

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Our marriage, you know, the way I figured was our marriage was perfect.

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Oh, yeah, I know. I mean, now looking back. Yeah. Yeah.

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But. And, you know, I really didn't. If I went for

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the person who needed fixing,

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I didn't knowingly do it. Yeah. It just

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ended up being that way. But you're right in that

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we sat back and kind of looked at everything and went, goodness, that's really

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what I went for, was that those Red Flag girls. And, I mean,

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I would get jealous. When we were poly,

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I didn't like you. I'd get anxiety. I didn't like you spending time with

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anybody. And it wasn't really the you I felt

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like, maybe because. Because you're. You're such

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a strong man, but you you melt

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for me. Like, I love you, but I can make you do

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anything I want to. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, and it's the

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same, right? We're this. But for you to. I was

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like, man, he's going to be doing this for other people. It's other women that

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I did not like that jealousy was probably at its

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peak then, as it was when we first started. Really. And I used to get

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jealous of just the friends. When you took a friend to the ATM and

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I was like, what the. Oh, I remember that. So stupid.

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Anyway, well, so now. Do you still deal

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with that now? Because we've come a long way. We have come

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a long way. I. I do.

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Yes, I do. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I don't

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think that's ever going to go away. No, no,

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no. That's never going to go away. That's always going to be there. And you're

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reassuring, you know, the way you reassure me and the way you

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do the things that you do makes it better,

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but it doesn't make it go away. Okay. Yeah. I'm always going to have

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some type of jealousy, I mean, no matter what.

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And I. You know, it's funny. I don't have

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this problem. No, I'm not jealous. The shit out

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of me, really. Because for me, jealousy means

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for. And it's really dumb. And I'm probably not the only one who thinks this,

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but jealousy means you want me

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like, I am yours. That's. That sounds toxic to

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me. Well, you. I'm toxic. Like,

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I mean, this is where the red flag came in. And you still stay.

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You're basically talking about getting turned

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on by something. Yeah,

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by jealousy. By me getting. You are my. You are

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my dom. You're my. So, like, when you like.

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Yeah, okay. Yeah. Who the. You sending pictures to?

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And then I get a little spanking. Oh, my goodness. You know,

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Wow. I like. Because you're not a jealous person. Even if you're faking

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it. It's hot. Okay, well, but only with you. I've faked it

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a couple times. Yes, you have. Yeah.

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Okay. So. Yeah, no, I don't. I don't. I don't suffer

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from that at all. But this next one, I do.

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Yeah, I do actually suffer from.

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This is more of an anxiety, but it is an insecurity, a performance

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anxiety. Sexual performance. Okay.

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Anxiety. I know that

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when I was younger, in my 20s,

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I. I remember taking a

233
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:31,505
long time. Okay. I would have sex to orgasm.

234
00:14:31,545 --> 00:14:36,145
Yeah. Yeah. I would have sex for a really long time. I'm talking Hours and

235
00:14:36,265 --> 00:14:39,937
what? Yeah, yeah. Without ejaculating? Without.

236
00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:44,135
Yeah. And to the point to where the women that I was with

237
00:14:44,305 --> 00:14:48,283
in my 20s would complain. They'd be like,

238
00:14:48,419 --> 00:14:51,611
dude, you're taking way too long. Like, this is not fun.

239
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:55,315
And so I. Why? Why would you take long? I have no

240
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,827
idea. You used to drink back then. I. I did drink. Were all of those

241
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:02,699
encounters with you intoxicated? No, some were sober.

242
00:15:02,827 --> 00:15:06,675
It was just the way it was. So then you

243
00:15:06,795 --> 00:15:09,815
fast forward to the time we got together,

244
00:15:10,395 --> 00:15:13,849
and I'm being dead serious. I'm being dead serious. Tell them,

245
00:15:13,897 --> 00:15:17,161
baby. When we got together, I had this anxiety,

246
00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:20,073
and the fact that. And I. I think I told you at the beginning,

247
00:15:20,129 --> 00:15:23,205
I was like, nobody's been able to keep up with me.

248
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:26,961
And I figured you'd be just one of the same,

249
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:30,593
that you wouldn't be able to keep up with me. And I remember telling

250
00:15:30,609 --> 00:15:34,929
you, I take a real long time. You have

251
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:39,365
actually basically taught me

252
00:15:39,915 --> 00:15:40,655
that.

253
00:15:43,555 --> 00:15:46,987
Basically, you are. You've proven me wrong.

254
00:15:47,051 --> 00:15:50,267
Yeah. Like you. You. You make me come very quickly.

255
00:15:50,331 --> 00:15:53,435
Yes. Very quickly. Yes. And now that's

256
00:15:53,475 --> 00:15:56,375
become commonplace. It's called the golden pussy.

257
00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:01,451
It is good. I'll tell you. Yeah. But, you know, I always

258
00:16:01,563 --> 00:16:05,003
had issues with that, and so that was an anxiety

259
00:16:05,059 --> 00:16:09,089
of mine. And now as an

260
00:16:09,137 --> 00:16:13,153
older Male in my 40s, I've definitely

261
00:16:13,209 --> 00:16:16,513
thought about. You get excited when

262
00:16:16,529 --> 00:16:19,737
you play with somebody for the first time, and all of

263
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:23,489
a sudden, three to five strokes in. I'm coming.

264
00:16:23,617 --> 00:16:27,265
Yeah, but you have one up on.

265
00:16:27,385 --> 00:16:30,405
A lot of men, which is what?

266
00:16:31,105 --> 00:16:33,355
You can come fast,

267
00:16:33,655 --> 00:16:37,223
but a few more strokes and then you're hard again.

268
00:16:37,359 --> 00:16:40,831
Oh, so. Yeah. So, yeah. Maybe when you

269
00:16:40,863 --> 00:16:44,391
were younger or whatever, you didn't know how to do that, but now that you

270
00:16:44,423 --> 00:16:46,395
can do that, it's.

271
00:16:47,695 --> 00:16:51,207
It's good for women. Well, so I've always been able.

272
00:16:51,351 --> 00:16:55,111
As far back as I can remember, I could come

273
00:16:55,303 --> 00:16:59,273
and I would stay hard. And so it's. It's never.

274
00:16:59,329 --> 00:17:01,697
But it would take you such a long time to come the first time.

275
00:17:01,841 --> 00:17:05,305
Okay. Yes. Yeah. But that was with somebody else.

276
00:17:05,465 --> 00:17:08,729
With myself. It didn't take me very long at all. Oh,

277
00:17:08,817 --> 00:17:12,361
you know what I mean? Okay. Yeah. So I know I've always

278
00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:16,753
had that ability to do that, but it's.

279
00:17:16,889 --> 00:17:20,193
It was a performance anxiety when I was younger,

280
00:17:20,249 --> 00:17:23,417
and then it became a performance anxiety when I got older and I

281
00:17:23,441 --> 00:17:27,103
became with you. And then I realized, you know, I'm gonna come fast

282
00:17:27,199 --> 00:17:30,903
if I get too excited. Yeah. And that's the hard part about Playing

283
00:17:30,959 --> 00:17:34,039
in the lifestyle is that, you know,

284
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:37,359
you. You get excited. Yeah. With this new

285
00:17:37,407 --> 00:17:41,135
person that you're maybe playing with, and it just. Forget it. I'm done

286
00:17:41,175 --> 00:17:44,999
quick. Yeah. But they don't care. They don't care because I'm normally gonna.

287
00:17:45,047 --> 00:17:48,087
I'm gonna get hard again. Well, not only that. Yeah, you're gonna go. You're still

288
00:17:48,111 --> 00:17:51,167
gonna please them because you're a pleaser. Yes. So, yeah, you're gonna come,

289
00:17:51,191 --> 00:17:54,465
but you're gonna go down there and. Yeah, no, I'm. I'm all

290
00:17:54,505 --> 00:17:57,153
heart. Yeah. I'm all heart, baby. Right. Yeah.

291
00:17:57,249 --> 00:18:00,177
So. So, yeah, that is definitely something that I've dealt with,

292
00:18:00,201 --> 00:18:03,729
but as a woman. Yeah. Is there such a thing as

293
00:18:03,777 --> 00:18:07,305
performance anxiety? Yes. So I would see these porns

294
00:18:07,345 --> 00:18:11,169
where women would come. Like, you could see it. Mm.

295
00:18:11,337 --> 00:18:14,969
I would get so insecure that you couldn't see mine. Really? Yes.

296
00:18:15,097 --> 00:18:18,325
Wow. Yeah. Or I would get insecure

297
00:18:19,175 --> 00:18:22,435
that I was wetting the bed too much because I remember

298
00:18:22,815 --> 00:18:25,555
having sex with somebody when I was younger,

299
00:18:25,975 --> 00:18:30,031
and I think they were. Their shirt was way too long,

300
00:18:30,183 --> 00:18:33,315
and it kind of got maybe between us,

301
00:18:33,615 --> 00:18:37,263
and so it was wet and he

302
00:18:37,319 --> 00:18:40,835
made such a disgusting, like, remark.

303
00:18:41,295 --> 00:18:44,951
I was like, that you obviously still hold

304
00:18:45,143 --> 00:18:48,577
to this day. Yes. Oh, my God. Therapist help.

305
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:52,421
No kidding. Wow. Yeah. And so, I mean, I don't anymore.

306
00:18:52,453 --> 00:18:54,509
No, no, no. I don't have it to this day. Like, I don't care.

307
00:18:54,597 --> 00:18:58,065
Yeah. Because I guess I noticed a lot of women

308
00:18:58,525 --> 00:19:02,037
wet the bed. I mean, I know you always liked it, but I

309
00:19:02,061 --> 00:19:05,461
didn't know. I didn't know you didn't understand what it was. And then

310
00:19:05,493 --> 00:19:08,749
I get insecure if I can't squirt sometimes.

311
00:19:08,837 --> 00:19:12,025
Like, actually squirt. Like pornographic squirt? Yes.

312
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:16,477
I don't know. Well, it's because you don't drink enough water. No, I do.

313
00:19:16,581 --> 00:19:19,237
Well, that's what they say. You gotta drink lots and lots of water.

314
00:19:19,301 --> 00:19:22,013
Yeah, we'll try it.

315
00:19:22,149 --> 00:19:25,149
I've been drinking lots of water. Oh, okay.

316
00:19:25,237 --> 00:19:28,585
Well, we got something to do after this. Dare to scuba dive. That's right.

317
00:19:29,005 --> 00:19:32,705
So moving down the list there. The next

318
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:36,813
one we have is fear of rejection. Now, this is something that I've dealt with

319
00:19:36,949 --> 00:19:40,557
and I deal with every single day. And you

320
00:19:40,581 --> 00:19:43,841
may have heard me say that I don't actually put myself

321
00:19:43,913 --> 00:19:47,765
out there. And for any kind of sexual

322
00:19:48,465 --> 00:19:51,085
conquest, I don't offer sex.

323
00:19:51,465 --> 00:19:54,913
I don't ask for sex. I don't allude to

324
00:19:54,969 --> 00:19:58,697
sex. Okay. I just offer friendship. Why are you a

325
00:19:58,721 --> 00:20:03,097
singer? Oh, I gotcha So I offer friendship.

326
00:20:03,241 --> 00:20:07,041
And then this way, if something happens sexually,

327
00:20:07,153 --> 00:20:10,393
it happens organically between me and whomever

328
00:20:10,489 --> 00:20:14,285
I've made friends with. Okay. And if,

329
00:20:14,585 --> 00:20:17,353
say, that person is maybe not attracted to me,

330
00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:20,805
I'm not sexually for them,

331
00:20:21,825 --> 00:20:25,297
then I don't lose out because I still have them

332
00:20:25,321 --> 00:20:28,681
as a friend. I got you. I just don't have sex with them. Okay.

333
00:20:28,753 --> 00:20:32,121
You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that's. And I'm very different.

334
00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:34,969
That's how. That's what rejection has done to me, is I just don't want to

335
00:20:34,977 --> 00:20:38,327
be rejected. And it's. But it's happening. It's going good

336
00:20:38,391 --> 00:20:41,583
because you're making friends. And I'm having sex

337
00:20:41,639 --> 00:20:44,607
and you're having sex. That's right. Yeah. Which is what you like. I do.

338
00:20:44,631 --> 00:20:48,279
Like, now, I. I am the same way. Like that. Yeah.

339
00:20:48,367 --> 00:20:52,695
And that. Like that thought. But I also do

340
00:20:52,735 --> 00:20:56,831
not care if I get rejected. Really? I don't care

341
00:20:57,023 --> 00:21:00,439
at all. No. If I ask

342
00:21:00,487 --> 00:21:03,937
you, hey, do you want to have sex? And you tell

343
00:21:03,961 --> 00:21:07,537
me no or I'm not interested, I'd be like,

344
00:21:07,681 --> 00:21:11,337
okay, cool. Now, you know what I'm curious,

345
00:21:11,401 --> 00:21:14,441
though, is that with both men and women.

346
00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:17,281
Yes. Yes. Really? Yes. I don't care.

347
00:21:17,393 --> 00:21:21,285
Interesting. Yeah. I don't care. It doesn't hurt my feelings.

348
00:21:22,225 --> 00:21:26,125
And I think that's where I changed my mindset about my physical

349
00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:31,107
insecurity. Okay. So I

350
00:21:31,131 --> 00:21:35,015
never thought I was attractive. I know I'm attractive.

351
00:21:35,355 --> 00:21:39,083
Okay. You know, and that's snobby about it. But I know that I'm pretty.

352
00:21:39,219 --> 00:21:43,955
I know that I have a good personality. I know that I'm

353
00:21:43,995 --> 00:21:47,571
not a taker. I'm a giver. I'm an evil.

354
00:21:47,643 --> 00:21:50,523
I mean, like, even. Even keel. Like, we're.

355
00:21:50,659 --> 00:21:52,699
I'm going to be as your friend as much as you're going to be my

356
00:21:52,747 --> 00:21:56,161
friend. Okay. But if you do not. If you

357
00:21:56,193 --> 00:22:00,017
reject me, I'd be like, okay, I'd still be your friend. We're just

358
00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:03,441
not gonna have sex. Well, so that's essentially.

359
00:22:03,513 --> 00:22:06,337
I mean, that's essentially what you're saying, is that you're. You're gonna.

360
00:22:06,401 --> 00:22:09,817
You're gonna be friends with them, or. Even if I'm not friends, I've. I have

361
00:22:09,841 --> 00:22:12,769
people that told me no, and I'm not. I never talked to them again,

362
00:22:12,937 --> 00:22:16,497
but by their choice. Really? Really. I don't care if you talk to me.

363
00:22:16,561 --> 00:22:20,041
Yeah. I. My feelings are not hurt. That's amazing.

364
00:22:20,113 --> 00:22:23,545
You know, that's the complete opposite of me. Yes.

365
00:22:23,665 --> 00:22:28,125
My feelings just. I was Talking to somebody about that because she

366
00:22:28,205 --> 00:22:31,413
said she was referring to our

367
00:22:31,469 --> 00:22:34,021
show where I want my fantasy show.

368
00:22:34,133 --> 00:22:37,533
Okay. And she says, so you want to be with

369
00:22:37,629 --> 00:22:41,013
a couple just by yourself? I'm like, yeah. And she's

370
00:22:41,029 --> 00:22:44,613
like, and your husband, he's going to be at home. And she

371
00:22:44,749 --> 00:22:48,653
could not wrap her head around that. Yeah. Yeah. She said,

372
00:22:48,789 --> 00:22:51,979
well, that's not. Yeah, no,

373
00:22:52,107 --> 00:22:54,891
I would never do that. And I'm like, well, why? And she's like,

374
00:22:54,923 --> 00:22:58,131
because I don't know. I feel like that's rejection.

375
00:22:58,243 --> 00:23:01,875
Like, I could never put myself out there for a couple. It's rejection.

376
00:23:01,915 --> 00:23:05,171
And I'm like, yeah. So for her, it works better to

377
00:23:05,203 --> 00:23:06,655
do couple to couple.

378
00:23:07,995 --> 00:23:11,995
She will never do single. Interesting. Yeah. And I was like,

379
00:23:12,115 --> 00:23:15,059
it's okay if you get rejected. Like, you're hot.

380
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:18,497
Yeah. Where. There's. Where he. That.

381
00:23:18,561 --> 00:23:21,905
Where that person is, there's 20 more, girl. Go get

382
00:23:21,945 --> 00:23:25,625
yours. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. No, I don't have that kind of confidence at

383
00:23:25,665 --> 00:23:29,457
all. Yeah. Wow. It wasn't long ago that that happened to me,

384
00:23:29,521 --> 00:23:32,937
so I think it had a lot to do with where we're at

385
00:23:33,041 --> 00:23:35,565
and. And you. My medication,

386
00:23:36,265 --> 00:23:39,805
everything that I'm changing in life has made me feel

387
00:23:40,145 --> 00:23:43,761
way better about myself. Well, that's good. That's good. That.

388
00:23:43,793 --> 00:23:47,015
That's. Because it makes a lifestyle easier for us. It does.

389
00:23:47,055 --> 00:23:50,343
Because I am the one that. That keeps us

390
00:23:50,439 --> 00:23:53,743
from doing things. Well, that's. That's interesting.

391
00:23:53,839 --> 00:23:57,311
That's interesting that you say that. But you know what? Going into the

392
00:23:57,343 --> 00:24:01,087
next insecurity, I. I kind of find interesting, because this

393
00:24:01,111 --> 00:24:04,447
is something that you actually, I think we dealt with.

394
00:24:04,511 --> 00:24:07,935
Really worries about emotional attachment.

395
00:24:08,015 --> 00:24:12,279
Yeah. And I think you still worry that I'm going to get emotionally attached.

396
00:24:12,367 --> 00:24:16,875
Probably. I. Not anymore. Probably about two

397
00:24:16,915 --> 00:24:20,603
weeks ago. Really? Because you and I had a really in

398
00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:23,851
depth conversation two weeks ago. Yeah, that. That,

399
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:27,315
like, seriously, because you and I had high. You and I had

400
00:24:27,355 --> 00:24:31,011
a really good conversation, and I

401
00:24:31,043 --> 00:24:34,483
had. We had a conversation. So I already had it

402
00:24:34,499 --> 00:24:37,803
in my head. Right. But then we had a talk with one of our friends

403
00:24:37,899 --> 00:24:41,685
over the weekend, and she put some things into perspective.

404
00:24:41,795 --> 00:24:44,725
Mm. And I was like, okay.

405
00:24:45,105 --> 00:24:48,561
Okay. I like that. So it took

406
00:24:48,593 --> 00:24:52,681
some time, but, yeah. No, you are very. You're a really good husband.

407
00:24:52,873 --> 00:24:55,905
Oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Don't make me cry.

408
00:24:55,985 --> 00:24:59,913
Okay. Sorry. Okay. But, yeah, well, you know, outside of that,

409
00:25:00,009 --> 00:25:03,529
for the. I guess for the longest time or this entire

410
00:25:03,577 --> 00:25:06,721
time. Yeah. You were afraid that I would

411
00:25:06,753 --> 00:25:10,059
get emotionally. Yeah. And leave me. And leave

412
00:25:10,107 --> 00:25:13,331
you which is so silly. Which is so silly,

413
00:25:13,363 --> 00:25:16,931
because if anybody knows us, knows that we don't

414
00:25:17,003 --> 00:25:20,051
fight. And I ever leaving you, girl. I know.

415
00:25:20,123 --> 00:25:22,979
I know it. I never give a kiss.

416
00:25:23,107 --> 00:25:26,515
Crazy. No way. I am never leaving you. Yeah.

417
00:25:26,555 --> 00:25:30,267
So that's. That's definitely. That's definitely one that we've. We've had

418
00:25:30,291 --> 00:25:34,299
to deal with firsthand. And you've explained to me the emotional attachment

419
00:25:34,387 --> 00:25:37,475
or. Yeah, the emotional attachment. Yeah. Like,

420
00:25:37,975 --> 00:25:41,535
you love everybody. I do. And I remember seeing

421
00:25:41,575 --> 00:25:45,915
one of your messages and you loved somebody, and I was like,

422
00:25:47,895 --> 00:25:50,807
what? How are you going to love this person?

423
00:25:50,911 --> 00:25:54,207
Yeah. And I remember getting really upset about it,

424
00:25:54,391 --> 00:25:57,671
and you're like, I. It's a different kind of love. It's not.

425
00:25:57,743 --> 00:26:00,671
It's not your love. It's different kind of love. Right.

426
00:26:00,703 --> 00:26:03,793
It's not a romantic love. Yeah, romantic love. And I was like, oh,

427
00:26:03,839 --> 00:26:07,173
okay. I get it now. Yeah. Yeah. I get it.

428
00:26:07,229 --> 00:26:10,085
Yeah. Because it's okay to love your friends. You should.

429
00:26:10,165 --> 00:26:13,333
Yes, you should. Yes, you should. I love our friends,

430
00:26:13,429 --> 00:26:16,941
so. I love our friends, but I don't. I love

431
00:26:16,973 --> 00:26:19,905
our friends, but I don't say I love our friends until I meet our friends.

432
00:26:20,485 --> 00:26:23,957
I gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't spread lies, homie.

433
00:26:24,101 --> 00:26:26,757
Yeah, well, I get that. I get that.

434
00:26:26,901 --> 00:26:30,069
Yeah. No, I definitely am a big advocate

435
00:26:30,117 --> 00:26:33,657
for loving your. Your circle. Yeah. But I remember seeing that

436
00:26:33,681 --> 00:26:37,417
and being like, oh, this man wants to lose his life. Oh,

437
00:26:37,441 --> 00:26:41,017
yeah. Now we had some discussions about that. So glad

438
00:26:41,041 --> 00:26:44,297
we could have this talk now. That's what the

439
00:26:44,321 --> 00:26:47,321
podcast is for, babe. Oh, totally. You're not supposed to hold me back.

440
00:26:47,393 --> 00:26:50,881
Totally. No way. How could I do that going into the next

441
00:26:50,913 --> 00:26:54,345
one? Insecurity about sexual experience or

442
00:26:54,425 --> 00:26:58,235
skills. Okay, I've had that. Have you

443
00:26:58,275 --> 00:27:01,291
really? Yeah, I didn't. I didn't really give blowjobs.

444
00:27:01,403 --> 00:27:04,667
Yeah, you can ask my ex husbands. It was

445
00:27:04,691 --> 00:27:08,171
like birthday time or something. That's incredible because you've been going down on me

446
00:27:08,203 --> 00:27:11,827
since day one. I will go down on you anywhere. Thank you.

447
00:27:11,891 --> 00:27:15,883
My goodness. I've done it. Yes, that is true. In the most random

448
00:27:15,939 --> 00:27:19,779
places and just. At the most random times at random.

449
00:27:19,867 --> 00:27:22,563
You. I think you like to stress me. Out with that, man. I love it.

450
00:27:22,659 --> 00:27:26,611
You know, I love when you're not hard and it grows

451
00:27:26,643 --> 00:27:29,803
in my mouth. Oh, my God. It's guaranteed, too.

452
00:27:29,939 --> 00:27:33,443
Like, it's. That is my favorite thing to

453
00:27:33,459 --> 00:27:36,723
do to you. That is hot. Yeah. Okay. You're getting

454
00:27:36,779 --> 00:27:40,483
me sidetracked. Okay. So anyway, Skills. And now

455
00:27:40,539 --> 00:27:44,451
I know that you have insecurities about that?

456
00:27:44,643 --> 00:27:48,067
About skills. Like sexual skills. My skills? Yeah.

457
00:27:48,251 --> 00:27:51,563
Because I even ask you for pointers sometimes on certain

458
00:27:51,619 --> 00:27:54,989
skills. Like when you go down on me and I'm like, how do you do

459
00:27:54,997 --> 00:27:57,357
that? And you're like, I'm not going to tell you. And I'm like, tell me.

460
00:27:57,421 --> 00:28:00,877
I think other girls would, like, tell me how you do it. I. You know,

461
00:28:00,901 --> 00:28:03,733
I can't. Well, I don't tell you how I do it because I just don't

462
00:28:03,749 --> 00:28:06,773
know how to explain it. Yeah. I. I get insecure about going down on women

463
00:28:06,829 --> 00:28:10,237
and I get insecure about, like, oh, my God, so many things.

464
00:28:10,301 --> 00:28:14,085
So actually, what do you get? I'm not insecure about my

465
00:28:14,125 --> 00:28:17,345
oral skills. Okay. Because I do know I'm good at that.

466
00:28:17,695 --> 00:28:21,447
Yeah. So there's no question about that. But I also

467
00:28:21,511 --> 00:28:25,063
know I may need a reminder. I'm sure you do. It's been

468
00:28:25,079 --> 00:28:27,955
a minute. I. Okay.

469
00:28:28,335 --> 00:28:31,999
I. I also know that every woman

470
00:28:32,047 --> 00:28:35,631
is different. And I know that

471
00:28:35,783 --> 00:28:39,255
what works with one person doesn't work with the next

472
00:28:39,295 --> 00:28:42,235
person. And when you sleep with someone for the first time,

473
00:28:43,135 --> 00:28:46,303
it's not always spot on.

474
00:28:46,479 --> 00:28:50,795
No. First time around. And you are very aware

475
00:28:51,135 --> 00:28:54,975
of that. I try to. You follow dir

476
00:28:55,135 --> 00:28:57,795
attention, ladies. He's good.

477
00:28:58,215 --> 00:29:01,375
And he follows direction. I do. I do.

478
00:29:01,415 --> 00:29:04,719
He pays attention. It's like muscle memory.

479
00:29:04,807 --> 00:29:08,367
It's. You know, I know some things already, so I have a good foundation.

480
00:29:08,431 --> 00:29:11,629
Yeah. But. Yeah, because we're okay with doing repeats.

481
00:29:11,767 --> 00:29:15,593
Yeah, that's right. That's not a rule of ours. No, that's not a rule.

482
00:29:15,729 --> 00:29:19,641
So. Yeah, no, I. I don't have any insecurities about that.

483
00:29:19,793 --> 00:29:24,445
I do sometimes have insecurities about me

484
00:29:24,945 --> 00:29:26,885
during intercourse. Like,

485
00:29:27,785 --> 00:29:31,169
you know, maybe I don't have the skills for a certain somebody. You know,

486
00:29:31,217 --> 00:29:34,809
sometimes people, like I said, women are different and it's.

487
00:29:34,857 --> 00:29:38,577
It's different for different women. Yeah. And so some. Like, sometimes it

488
00:29:38,601 --> 00:29:41,883
works and sometimes it doesn't. Yeah, sometimes. Some. Some like it rough.

489
00:29:41,969 --> 00:29:45,447
Yeah. And like, really hard.

490
00:29:45,631 --> 00:29:48,583
You. You're. You don't do that.

491
00:29:48,759 --> 00:29:52,495
You're a. No, I'm not that kind of guy. No, you are very attentive

492
00:29:52,655 --> 00:29:56,511
and good. I'm very passionate.

493
00:29:56,583 --> 00:29:59,495
Very passionate. I mean. Yeah. Yeah,

494
00:29:59,575 --> 00:30:02,719
yeah. I'm passionate. Very passionate.

495
00:30:02,767 --> 00:30:06,351
Yeah. And that's good. It is, right? Yeah, but it's not.

496
00:30:06,423 --> 00:30:10,215
But you see. Okay, so you. I. I don't mind you being passionate,

497
00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:14,571
but the way you said passionate. So you see, this is to.

498
00:30:14,603 --> 00:30:17,955
One of the insecurities that we already listed. Which one was that?

499
00:30:18,115 --> 00:30:21,931
I would Think that's gonna be worries about emotional

500
00:30:22,003 --> 00:30:25,899
attachment. Yeah. Or no. Jealousy and insecurity

501
00:30:25,947 --> 00:30:29,435
about which. Pick one. Oh, you know what? It fits into a few

502
00:30:29,475 --> 00:30:33,267
different categories. Yeah. Anyway, let's get. Let's move

503
00:30:33,291 --> 00:30:36,675
on to the other one. Let's move on.

504
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:40,323
Body image issues. Yes. Now I think you

505
00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:43,807
can tell us some things about this. Yes, I have. Yes. Because I have

506
00:30:43,831 --> 00:30:47,647
scars. Yeah. I had my breast lifted in 2013.

507
00:30:47,791 --> 00:30:51,311
Okay. And so it's a scar that goes around

508
00:30:51,343 --> 00:30:55,135
the areola and down and under my boob like an

509
00:30:55,175 --> 00:30:58,711
anchor. And so when I first. When I

510
00:30:58,743 --> 00:31:02,275
first got this done, I think we had just started in the LS

511
00:31:02,775 --> 00:31:06,275
and. Yeah, that's right. Because we were still,

512
00:31:06,775 --> 00:31:10,787
like, kind of brand new. And I remember somebody mentioning.

513
00:31:10,931 --> 00:31:14,531
After I had already fucked him twice, he mentioned

514
00:31:14,563 --> 00:31:17,603
that. And I was like. He's like, did you. You that

515
00:31:17,659 --> 00:31:21,299
scar on your boobs? Why? What happened? And I remember

516
00:31:21,347 --> 00:31:25,659
thinking, oh, my God. How. How rude.

517
00:31:25,787 --> 00:31:29,475
Yeah. And so it made me feel super insecure.

518
00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:32,507
And of course, my stretch marks. Yeah. Yeah. You know,

519
00:31:32,531 --> 00:31:36,855
I had babies. Right. But that's it.

520
00:31:37,315 --> 00:31:40,587
Oh, I mean, I can list all of them. No, no, you don't have to

521
00:31:40,611 --> 00:31:44,555
list all of them. But yeah, no, I. I definitely see how

522
00:31:44,595 --> 00:31:48,187
that would. That your scars would be your top ones.

523
00:31:48,251 --> 00:31:51,419
I. I do remember you going through the. I'm kind of

524
00:31:51,467 --> 00:31:54,787
being depressed about. You were. I wouldn't even take my bra off.

525
00:31:54,851 --> 00:31:58,371
No. Which I feel my breasts are my best asset.

526
00:31:58,443 --> 00:32:01,323
Yeah. I'm glad that you got past that. Me too.

527
00:32:01,379 --> 00:32:04,255
Yeah. Because that was a rough. I danced. Yeah.

528
00:32:04,415 --> 00:32:07,591
Yeah. No, people don't really care about it. And especially in the lifestyle,

529
00:32:07,623 --> 00:32:10,675
there's a lot of people who have gotten surgeries and have scars,

530
00:32:10,975 --> 00:32:14,487
and it is what it is. Yeah. You know what I mean? I love it.

531
00:32:14,591 --> 00:32:17,903
You gotta. You gotta enjoy the person. Yeah. So. Yeah. That's.

532
00:32:17,959 --> 00:32:20,975
Do you have any. Oh, dude, so much.

533
00:32:21,055 --> 00:32:25,127
I have so many body issues. Yeah. But even now,

534
00:32:25,191 --> 00:32:28,435
like, do you still like it? Has a list gotten smaller?

535
00:32:28,785 --> 00:32:32,565
You know, I think I'm worse now

536
00:32:32,865 --> 00:32:35,725
than I was when I was larger.

537
00:32:36,065 --> 00:32:39,865
Because when I was larger, I feel like

538
00:32:39,945 --> 00:32:42,885
I was looked at less by women,

539
00:32:43,785 --> 00:32:47,537
probably. Oh, you did. And you suffered from that? Like, I remember

540
00:32:47,601 --> 00:32:51,049
you telling me. Oh. I mean,

541
00:32:51,217 --> 00:32:54,473
they're just talking to me to get to you. Yeah. Like, I was

542
00:32:54,529 --> 00:32:57,789
not wanted by anybody. And you were actually told by women.

543
00:32:57,897 --> 00:33:01,277
Yeah, no, people were very upfront with me on certain things,

544
00:33:01,301 --> 00:33:05,101
and I. You know, I couldn't get a. A woman

545
00:33:05,173 --> 00:33:08,381
to really show any kind of interest in Me at all.

546
00:33:08,453 --> 00:33:12,501
It. It did affect me. Yeah. But now

547
00:33:12,533 --> 00:33:16,621
that I've lost weight and I am hitting the gym more

548
00:33:16,653 --> 00:33:19,917
and I'm starting to get more, you know, in shape. In shape?

549
00:33:19,981 --> 00:33:23,013
Yeah. Yeah. More women are taking notice

550
00:33:23,069 --> 00:33:26,467
now. Yeah. And they're showing interest. Yeah.

551
00:33:26,611 --> 00:33:30,575
Which only sparks a bigger anxiety

552
00:33:31,035 --> 00:33:34,411
because now I have to. Really? No ego boost? No.

553
00:33:34,443 --> 00:33:38,131
Like, no. Heck no, man. I mean, you gotta find that.

554
00:33:38,203 --> 00:33:41,339
No. The body dysmorphia is a thing. Yeah, I know.

555
00:33:41,427 --> 00:33:45,699
And so I look in the mirror and I'm just like, ugh. And then I

556
00:33:45,787 --> 00:33:49,259
go throughout my day, and then there are women who show interest.

557
00:33:49,347 --> 00:33:53,151
Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, gosh, if they saw

558
00:33:53,183 --> 00:33:56,527
me naked, they would change the mind. But you can't do

559
00:33:56,551 --> 00:34:00,775
that. I know, but. Because what it is. That is unattractive.

560
00:34:00,935 --> 00:34:05,159
I know, but what are you gonna. Say when you look in that mirror tomorrow?

561
00:34:05,287 --> 00:34:09,079
That you are the. Put some clothes on, sir. You are the hottest piece of

562
00:34:09,127 --> 00:34:12,639
ass in this house. No, well, I'm. There's more to me than a piece of

563
00:34:12,687 --> 00:34:16,359
ass, baby. That's what you're gonna say every

564
00:34:16,407 --> 00:34:19,669
morning. Okay, well, I will try and remember that

565
00:34:19,717 --> 00:34:23,021
tomorrow. I will work on that. Yes. Do those

566
00:34:23,053 --> 00:34:25,745
sweet, sweet affirmations. There you go.

567
00:34:28,085 --> 00:34:30,693
Now, going into the next one, I feel like the next one is kind of

568
00:34:30,709 --> 00:34:34,973
a big thing. Okay. Is a fear of sexually

569
00:34:35,069 --> 00:34:39,349
transmitted diseases or being exposed to sexual

570
00:34:39,517 --> 00:34:42,541
transmitted diseases. I had that fear. Do you remember? Oh,

571
00:34:42,573 --> 00:34:45,759
yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. Yeah. I, I.

572
00:34:45,807 --> 00:34:49,023
We've never. We've never had a positive.

573
00:34:49,159 --> 00:34:52,327
No. Never. Never had a scare. But I

574
00:34:52,351 --> 00:34:55,255
was always scared to have a scare. Yeah.

575
00:34:55,335 --> 00:34:58,455
Yeah. It's. Well, you know, we grew up during

576
00:34:58,495 --> 00:35:02,127
the 80s. Yes. And AIDS was a thing

577
00:35:02,151 --> 00:35:06,135
that we grew up with. We grew up with it. Yeah. And so

578
00:35:06,215 --> 00:35:09,761
everything was, you know, the worst

579
00:35:09,833 --> 00:35:13,257
case scenario. Yeah. I had a cousin die of aids. Really?

580
00:35:13,321 --> 00:35:15,785
Yeah. And so it.

581
00:35:15,905 --> 00:35:18,865
Yeah, it really hit home. Yeah.

582
00:35:18,945 --> 00:35:22,705
Yeah. And, you know, that's the. That's the big

583
00:35:22,745 --> 00:35:26,845
one that we always heard about as kids growing up. And then

584
00:35:27,345 --> 00:35:30,961
when we got older, we started realizing that there

585
00:35:30,993 --> 00:35:34,201
are so many others. So many. Gonorrhea,

586
00:35:34,273 --> 00:35:37,993
you know, and chlamydia and herpes and

587
00:35:38,009 --> 00:35:41,337
all of these other nightmarish sexually

588
00:35:41,401 --> 00:35:44,609
transmitted diseases. And what do we

589
00:35:44,657 --> 00:35:47,193
do for a hobby? We have sex with other people.

590
00:35:47,249 --> 00:35:51,057
Yeah. So what do we have to worry about? Yeah.

591
00:35:51,121 --> 00:35:54,633
I mean, as long as you're being safe, if you have

592
00:35:54,769 --> 00:35:58,201
any type of disease, be up front with

593
00:35:58,233 --> 00:36:01,937
your partner. Be up front with your partner. Be up front

594
00:36:02,001 --> 00:36:04,905
with the People that you're going to play with. Yeah. I mean, there is no

595
00:36:04,945 --> 00:36:08,623
judgment here. No, we like honesty, and we want

596
00:36:08,639 --> 00:36:12,527
to keep our community safe. Absolutely. So. And we want you to

597
00:36:12,551 --> 00:36:15,167
have fun just as much as we want to have. Yeah. And it is a

598
00:36:15,191 --> 00:36:18,207
fear. It's a fear for a lot of people. So just be as safe as

599
00:36:18,231 --> 00:36:21,195
you possibly can, because, I mean,

600
00:36:21,815 --> 00:36:24,967
you know, you want to keep the community safe, and you don't want to have

601
00:36:24,991 --> 00:36:28,111
an accident like that. Oh, man. Yeah, that's. That's a rough

602
00:36:28,143 --> 00:36:31,187
one. That is a rough one. But, yeah, I had that fear for a long,

603
00:36:31,241 --> 00:36:34,639
long time. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sure that there are several of you

604
00:36:34,687 --> 00:36:37,795
out there who have that same fear as well.

605
00:36:38,135 --> 00:36:41,935
So we get it. We definitely get it. Now, I do have

606
00:36:42,015 --> 00:36:45,847
another anxiety here. It's. It's the fear of overstepping

607
00:36:45,911 --> 00:36:51,235
boundaries. Now, I am a very respectful person with

608
00:36:51,775 --> 00:36:55,159
other couples, with other singles, like,

609
00:36:55,247 --> 00:36:59,075
everybody, I'm extremely respectful. Respect is a big thing for me.

610
00:36:59,445 --> 00:37:03,349
And so when I talk to people that I'm interested in, I'm always

611
00:37:03,437 --> 00:37:07,037
talking about how I, you know,

612
00:37:07,101 --> 00:37:11,145
really hope I'm not overstepping any of your boundaries.

613
00:37:11,685 --> 00:37:15,237
Tell me what they are. I will keep myself in check. You know,

614
00:37:15,301 --> 00:37:18,253
if. If I should be talking to your husband, let me know.

615
00:37:18,309 --> 00:37:21,501
I'll do that. You know, whatever. I just don't want to.

616
00:37:21,653 --> 00:37:25,309
I don't want to over overstep. I don't have

617
00:37:25,357 --> 00:37:29,173
that insecure. Like, I don't have that problem. That's interesting,

618
00:37:29,309 --> 00:37:32,989
because you. Because you take issue with people who

619
00:37:33,037 --> 00:37:35,885
you feel are overstepping.

620
00:37:35,965 --> 00:37:39,117
Yes. Boundaries. Yes. Now, my boundaries aren't the same

621
00:37:39,141 --> 00:37:42,709
as your boundaries. True. I have my own.

622
00:37:42,877 --> 00:37:47,245
I have my own boundaries, my own rules for myself.

623
00:37:47,405 --> 00:37:50,957
Okay. And you mentally have them in your head, and you

624
00:37:50,981 --> 00:37:53,843
know that I have them. So you're really good at.

625
00:37:53,979 --> 00:37:57,603
About adhering to them. I don't tell you

626
00:37:57,619 --> 00:38:01,227
what to do, but it's in there. Yeah. Well, I judge

627
00:38:01,291 --> 00:38:04,835
a lot of what I do off of what face I

628
00:38:04,875 --> 00:38:08,019
see. Yes. Yeah. That's okay. Yeah. You're pretty

629
00:38:08,067 --> 00:38:12,055
expressive. But, yeah, I have. So I will never overstep.

630
00:38:12,635 --> 00:38:15,699
I am the woman who will always

631
00:38:15,747 --> 00:38:19,007
be respectful. Always. So it's not even a question.

632
00:38:19,171 --> 00:38:22,795
Not even a question. You will

633
00:38:23,255 --> 00:38:26,871
pretty much know I am talking to your significant

634
00:38:26,983 --> 00:38:30,279
other. Other. If you're a

635
00:38:30,327 --> 00:38:33,839
male. If you're a male and

636
00:38:33,927 --> 00:38:37,955
I am talking to your significant other because I want to

637
00:38:38,295 --> 00:38:41,599
actually with either. Or if I'm getting sexually like,

638
00:38:41,647 --> 00:38:45,535
ooh, I'm into them, I Will out pretty.

639
00:38:45,695 --> 00:38:49,191
Most of the time, contact their partner and

640
00:38:49,223 --> 00:38:52,391
let them know, hey, do you mind? That is really respectful.

641
00:38:52,423 --> 00:38:56,303
Yeah. Hey, do you mind or hey, I just message

642
00:38:56,359 --> 00:39:00,047
your husband or wife. Right. Are you good

643
00:39:00,071 --> 00:39:03,559
with that? Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good. I like that.

644
00:39:03,647 --> 00:39:07,687
Yeah, that's good. The next one on the list is

645
00:39:07,831 --> 00:39:11,519
concerns about the relationships impact.

646
00:39:11,687 --> 00:39:14,743
Hmm. So that. More about that, because I don't think. I don't know what that.

647
00:39:14,759 --> 00:39:17,875
I don't think I understand that one. Well, essentially,

648
00:39:18,735 --> 00:39:22,519
you know, a person might worry that their partner is

649
00:39:22,567 --> 00:39:26,967
engaging in swinging and it could damage their

650
00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:29,815
relationship. Okay. And so.

651
00:39:29,895 --> 00:39:33,519
Okay. You know, I think I've. I've actually spoken to a few

652
00:39:33,567 --> 00:39:37,303
people where they were like, you know, we're trying this out, but I'm

653
00:39:37,359 --> 00:39:41,689
really kind of worried that I don't like it

654
00:39:41,817 --> 00:39:45,169
and he likes it a lot. Is that the way it was like when

655
00:39:45,177 --> 00:39:48,745
we were at poly? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you were

656
00:39:48,825 --> 00:39:52,049
very, very much worried that it was going to impact our

657
00:39:52,097 --> 00:39:55,689
relationship because. In a negative way. In a negative way, yeah.

658
00:39:55,737 --> 00:39:59,337
Because you didn't like it and you knew I liked

659
00:39:59,361 --> 00:40:03,081
it and you were afraid that because you

660
00:40:03,113 --> 00:40:06,463
wanted out of it that that was going to make

661
00:40:06,479 --> 00:40:10,071
you unhappy. Make me unhappy and not want to be with me. Right. I was

662
00:40:10,103 --> 00:40:13,311
holding you back. Right? Yes. And that wasn't

663
00:40:13,343 --> 00:40:16,783
the case, obviously. No. No. At all. But. Yeah.

664
00:40:16,839 --> 00:40:20,439
But that was an insecurity of yours

665
00:40:20,607 --> 00:40:24,075
and. Which is a weird insecurity to have with you because

666
00:40:24,455 --> 00:40:26,915
in all the years that we have been together,

667
00:40:27,575 --> 00:40:31,007
please announce to everybody. How many times have we broken up?

668
00:40:31,191 --> 00:40:35,009
Just once. For how long? 24 hours. Yes. And that

669
00:40:35,017 --> 00:40:37,753
was still neighbors. That was. Yeah,

670
00:40:37,889 --> 00:40:41,409
we were still neighbors. That was like the first couple months.

671
00:40:41,457 --> 00:40:44,485
That was like the first month I think, that we were together,

672
00:40:44,905 --> 00:40:48,337
and it was literally that one time, and then that was the end of it.

673
00:40:48,361 --> 00:40:51,737
We couldn't. Yeah. We couldn't stay apart. Yeah. So, yeah. No, I was. I was

674
00:40:51,761 --> 00:40:53,625
really scared I was going to hold you back from a lot of things.

675
00:40:53,665 --> 00:40:56,697
So. Yeah. And I was like, oof, you know, this is not going to be

676
00:40:56,721 --> 00:41:00,713
good. Well, and I've. I've talked to other couples about that. Regarding swinging.

677
00:41:00,769 --> 00:41:04,187
Yeah. And, you know, some people just don't like it,

678
00:41:04,331 --> 00:41:08,083
and some people do. And sometimes those

679
00:41:08,139 --> 00:41:11,771
people are married. Yeah. And what do you do in a situation like that?

680
00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:15,435
Well, you know, I always tell people, if you really love your relationship,

681
00:41:15,515 --> 00:41:18,891
don't throw it away over some sex with

682
00:41:18,923 --> 00:41:22,175
a strange. No. You know what I mean? No. Like,

683
00:41:22,715 --> 00:41:26,291
just don't do it. If you really value your relationship. Now, if you're in

684
00:41:26,323 --> 00:41:30,243
a relationship that you don't really value and you

685
00:41:30,299 --> 00:41:33,907
prefer the sex, then I

686
00:41:33,931 --> 00:41:37,643
would say, why are you in that relationship? You should probably break it off

687
00:41:37,739 --> 00:41:41,355
and then just be a single person. Yes. And go enjoy your

688
00:41:41,395 --> 00:41:45,395
life or enjoy the lifestyle as a single person. Without worry. Without worry.

689
00:41:45,515 --> 00:41:50,219
You know? I gotcha. Yeah. Yeah, that's. I mean, that's definitely my

690
00:41:50,267 --> 00:41:53,747
thing is. It does ruin a lot. I'm sure that, that kind

691
00:41:53,771 --> 00:41:57,555
of. For the situation like that. Yeah. But, you know,

692
00:41:57,595 --> 00:42:00,903
I was initially

693
00:42:01,079 --> 00:42:04,055
concerned with that myself when we first started that.

694
00:42:04,095 --> 00:42:08,039
Yeah. When I said, there's no going back

695
00:42:08,087 --> 00:42:11,795
from this point. You know, there's. I, I've just let this happen.

696
00:42:13,055 --> 00:42:16,687
So if, oh, like the first time we played. Yeah. Yeah. So then after

697
00:42:16,751 --> 00:42:20,671
that I thought, so if this is going to be lead to

698
00:42:20,863 --> 00:42:23,951
her cheating on me or something like that, I have nobody

699
00:42:23,983 --> 00:42:27,567
to blame but myself. I thought the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

700
00:42:27,631 --> 00:42:30,855
I mean, yeah. But that didn't stay with me for very long. Yeah.

701
00:42:30,935 --> 00:42:34,087
Yeah. That, that. I don't know. I think I always

702
00:42:34,151 --> 00:42:37,155
had that. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

703
00:42:37,495 --> 00:42:40,647
That's interesting. I know. Wow. Okay.

704
00:42:40,711 --> 00:42:45,287
Very interesting. Wow. We, we should talk to psychiatrist.

705
00:42:45,391 --> 00:42:48,751
I'm good now. Oh, well, then no, we don't need to talk to

706
00:42:48,783 --> 00:42:52,239
anybody we talked to. And I do, I do talk to a psychiatrist,

707
00:42:52,287 --> 00:42:55,193
sir. Yeah. Oh, me? No.

708
00:42:55,289 --> 00:42:58,817
Oh, I mean, I don't know. I thought you were alluding

709
00:42:58,841 --> 00:43:02,473
to something. I don't know. So going further down

710
00:43:02,489 --> 00:43:06,857
the list here, imposter syndrome. I think I've told you about imposter

711
00:43:06,881 --> 00:43:10,685
syndrome. Remind me. I have had imposter syndrome myself.

712
00:43:11,665 --> 00:43:15,425
It's where you essentially feel like you

713
00:43:15,465 --> 00:43:19,081
maybe don't belong. I felt like that when

714
00:43:19,113 --> 00:43:22,593
we were poly. Really? Like you didn't belong in that

715
00:43:22,689 --> 00:43:26,401
community. Yeah. It wasn't the right. And we went to

716
00:43:26,473 --> 00:43:30,481
poly mixers and things like that. And I did feel, I felt

717
00:43:30,513 --> 00:43:33,361
like that when we first started swinging,

718
00:43:33,513 --> 00:43:37,617
because I was like, oh, man, I don't know.

719
00:43:37,761 --> 00:43:40,889
I'm going to do this. People don't. When I would talk to people, I'd be

720
00:43:40,897 --> 00:43:44,033
like, well, you have a lot of roles. Are you really, do you really want

721
00:43:44,049 --> 00:43:48,153
to be a singer? And it's like, oh, yeah, I understand

722
00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:51,821
that. And I remember you and I having a little spirit biff about that too.

723
00:43:51,973 --> 00:43:55,541
Like, God, that is. I, I. What do you want me to

724
00:43:55,573 --> 00:43:59,093
do? Just close my, like, not see who I'm having sex with and just

725
00:43:59,149 --> 00:44:02,693
kind of hold me and Be like, no, it was weird.

726
00:44:02,829 --> 00:44:06,237
Oh, okay. Like, you. You just didn't. I remember you telling me, like,

727
00:44:06,341 --> 00:44:09,285
you're making this too hard. Yeah. So. Yeah,

728
00:44:09,325 --> 00:44:12,901
yeah, yeah. No, I. I understand that. Well, you know, for me,

729
00:44:12,973 --> 00:44:16,729
I have impostor syndrome, but in a different sort of way when

730
00:44:16,737 --> 00:44:20,161
it comes to the lifestyle, because I've been told by

731
00:44:20,193 --> 00:44:23,649
a lot of people that, I guess I'm more of a

732
00:44:23,697 --> 00:44:26,793
leader in the community, I guess,

733
00:44:26,849 --> 00:44:30,265
because I. I talk to everybody,

734
00:44:30,385 --> 00:44:33,605
and I'm universally liked for the most part,

735
00:44:34,025 --> 00:44:37,441
and I don't have a problem openly talking and

736
00:44:37,473 --> 00:44:41,105
being a mentor and things like that. Yeah, you've always been like that.

737
00:44:41,225 --> 00:44:45,097
You know, I just want to help so many. In all your aspects of

738
00:44:45,121 --> 00:44:48,903
life. Well, I just want to help. Yeah. But because of that,

739
00:44:48,959 --> 00:44:52,635
I've had people tell me, you know, you should really

740
00:44:53,015 --> 00:44:56,391
take on more of a leadership role and do this and

741
00:44:56,423 --> 00:45:00,335
do that, and, you know, I just don't feel like I'm the

742
00:45:00,375 --> 00:45:04,255
guy for that. Just yesterday, I've always told you you should

743
00:45:04,295 --> 00:45:07,727
be a choir teacher, right? Oh, yeah. Just yesterday

744
00:45:07,831 --> 00:45:10,927
we were there, and I was like, you were telling me something about however the

745
00:45:10,951 --> 00:45:14,495
little girl was singing, and I was like,

746
00:45:15,235 --> 00:45:19,235
yes, you should have. You know, but that's. That's your

747
00:45:19,275 --> 00:45:22,771
personality. That's the imposter syndrome in me. I don't

748
00:45:22,803 --> 00:45:25,335
feel like I belong there.

749
00:45:25,675 --> 00:45:29,835
You know what I mean? Y'all may see these qualities

750
00:45:29,915 --> 00:45:33,531
in me that would make this good

751
00:45:33,603 --> 00:45:37,531
spot, but I don't see it. I don't feel

752
00:45:37,563 --> 00:45:41,331
like I'm there. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So that's

753
00:45:41,363 --> 00:45:44,579
essentially what that is. Now, does that hinder you in?

754
00:45:44,627 --> 00:45:48,227
Like, it can. Yes, it has before. Has it?

755
00:45:48,291 --> 00:45:52,203
It has. Okay. It actually prevents me from doing a

756
00:45:52,219 --> 00:45:55,547
lot. So, like, when somebody asks me

757
00:45:55,611 --> 00:45:59,467
to take on a leadership role or somebody asks

758
00:45:59,491 --> 00:46:03,299
me to do something because they think I'm

759
00:46:03,467 --> 00:46:06,731
really good at it. This right here, I put this thing

760
00:46:06,763 --> 00:46:10,955
off for a long time. I have been wanting to do this for so

761
00:46:11,075 --> 00:46:14,867
many years. Yeah. We have the equipment in

762
00:46:14,891 --> 00:46:18,611
the closet. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this was four

763
00:46:18,643 --> 00:46:22,211
years ago that we planned on doing. Yeah. And I just couldn't

764
00:46:22,243 --> 00:46:25,003
do it. No. I couldn't do it. And you're doing it. How does it make

765
00:46:25,019 --> 00:46:28,491
you feel? Well. You like

766
00:46:28,523 --> 00:46:31,483
this? I enjoy it. It's a creative. You're talking to me,

767
00:46:31,499 --> 00:46:34,847
and there's a microphone between. Yeah. I'm hanging out with my best friend, so how

768
00:46:34,871 --> 00:46:38,835
couldn't I. It's a great. It's a great gig. Nice. Yeah. It's a great gig.

769
00:46:39,135 --> 00:46:42,895
So. Yeah, that. That is a tough one. Now, the last one that I have

770
00:46:42,935 --> 00:46:46,407
recorded here is the biggest one for me,

771
00:46:46,511 --> 00:46:49,303
and many of you have heard me talk about it.

772
00:46:49,399 --> 00:46:53,151
It's social anxiety. Yes. I have bad social anxiety.

773
00:46:53,263 --> 00:46:57,231
I do not do well in crowds, and I

774
00:46:57,303 --> 00:47:01,787
don't do well meeting new people. Like, I am

775
00:47:01,851 --> 00:47:04,335
nervous an incredible amount of time,

776
00:47:04,755 --> 00:47:08,467
and I have anxiety about having conversations

777
00:47:08,531 --> 00:47:11,883
with people, and then I just want to stay home, and I try to cancel

778
00:47:11,939 --> 00:47:15,015
plans. I have bad social anxiety.

779
00:47:15,675 --> 00:47:19,455
And I realized that after Covid.

780
00:47:20,075 --> 00:47:23,803
I guess I kind of pushed my

781
00:47:23,859 --> 00:47:27,763
social anxiety on you. Yes. Because after a while you

782
00:47:27,819 --> 00:47:31,447
had social anxiety. Yes. I'm barely getting over my social anxiety.

783
00:47:31,531 --> 00:47:35,103
Yeah. Because you just got used to me going, no, we gotta stay

784
00:47:35,119 --> 00:47:38,311
in. Yeah. We stopped going down. You know, like, our thing was dancing

785
00:47:38,383 --> 00:47:42,631
and going out to different restaurants and doing all that stuff. Yeah. And that stopped.

786
00:47:42,703 --> 00:47:46,095
It was debilitating. Yeah, it was debilitating. I didn't like going

787
00:47:46,135 --> 00:47:50,075
anywhere. Yeah. And so I feel like now that I'm medicated,

788
00:47:50,455 --> 00:47:53,919
it helps my anxiety, really, so.

789
00:47:54,047 --> 00:47:57,861
Which helps us. Really push us going out there.

790
00:47:58,023 --> 00:48:02,201
Because I'm like, let's go. You know, especially you get anxiety driving

791
00:48:02,273 --> 00:48:06,009
far. I'm not a fan. No. And it's not even like you drive us when

792
00:48:06,017 --> 00:48:08,561
we go out of town. But if I have to drive you to. If we

793
00:48:08,593 --> 00:48:11,809
have to go to San Antonio. Oh, dude, you're like. You driven

794
00:48:11,857 --> 00:48:15,793
in Santa. You're like, geez, if you drive. And I'm like,

795
00:48:15,969 --> 00:48:19,329
these people, they cut you off. It's horrible. Yeah.

796
00:48:19,377 --> 00:48:22,745
So, but if we're going, like, to Dallas, like, for a family

797
00:48:22,785 --> 00:48:26,253
trip, you drive. Yeah, but anywhere else. So that's

798
00:48:26,269 --> 00:48:29,541
where you get a lot of anxiety. Yeah, well, you know, but I mean,

799
00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:33,261
just periods I have. I have

800
00:48:33,293 --> 00:48:36,533
had major social anxiety. And so we didn't go anywhere.

801
00:48:36,589 --> 00:48:39,637
Yeah. And then December of

802
00:48:39,701 --> 00:48:43,829
2023 hit, and you and I, we work on

803
00:48:43,917 --> 00:48:47,637
our resolutions, our New Year's resolutions.

804
00:48:47,821 --> 00:48:50,885
And so last year, I said,

805
00:48:51,265 --> 00:48:54,889
For 2024, I want to get over

806
00:48:54,937 --> 00:48:58,377
my social anxiety. And I think the best way to

807
00:48:58,401 --> 00:49:01,977
do that would be for us to get more involved

808
00:49:02,081 --> 00:49:05,765
in the lifestyle community. Yeah.

809
00:49:06,065 --> 00:49:09,497
And go to more events and meet more

810
00:49:09,561 --> 00:49:13,925
people. And I figure if I practice

811
00:49:14,505 --> 00:49:17,909
these social situations, I can get over my social anxiety.

812
00:49:18,017 --> 00:49:22,093
Yeah. And so it sounded like something

813
00:49:22,189 --> 00:49:26,133
easy, but then came 2024,

814
00:49:26,309 --> 00:49:30,105
and by February or March,

815
00:49:30,565 --> 00:49:34,013
I think I really kind of started going, okay, I need to figure

816
00:49:34,069 --> 00:49:37,453
out how we're going to start meeting people, because I

817
00:49:37,469 --> 00:49:40,997
think we Went to a couple of meet and greets, and we kind

818
00:49:41,021 --> 00:49:44,381
of just sat in the back. We didn't talk to

819
00:49:44,413 --> 00:49:47,917
anybody. We just scanned the room. Yeah. We didn't do. And we would be there

820
00:49:47,941 --> 00:49:51,457
for maybe 15 minutes. Yeah. Ye. Yeah. And we would leave. And we would

821
00:49:51,481 --> 00:49:55,417
leave. We were the first in. First. Yeah. We got called names.

822
00:49:55,481 --> 00:49:58,897
Yeah. And. And. And realistically, we would sneak out and

823
00:49:58,921 --> 00:50:03,377
we would leave because we just didn't. We didn't have the gall to introduce

824
00:50:03,441 --> 00:50:07,849
ourselves or to talk to anybody. It was just very scary.

825
00:50:07,937 --> 00:50:11,481
We felt like it was cliquish, which it wasn't. But we

826
00:50:11,513 --> 00:50:14,385
were just afraid to talk to people. Yeah. Well,

827
00:50:14,425 --> 00:50:18,075
then I decided to start getting more

828
00:50:18,155 --> 00:50:21,615
active in the Facebook groups that we belong to,

829
00:50:21,915 --> 00:50:25,483
and I started asking questions and getting

830
00:50:25,539 --> 00:50:28,883
the conversation started about the lifestyle, and I guess

831
00:50:28,939 --> 00:50:33,171
my posts started taking notice.

832
00:50:33,283 --> 00:50:37,067
People started noticing. Yeah. And so I kind of established

833
00:50:37,131 --> 00:50:40,539
a little bit of an online presence

834
00:50:40,707 --> 00:50:44,075
in these groups. Which helped your anxiety. It did.

835
00:50:44,155 --> 00:50:48,115
You know, kind of. Well, a little bit. You know, when we started

836
00:50:48,195 --> 00:50:51,427
going to more meet and greets, that's when it. Kind of freaked you out.

837
00:50:51,531 --> 00:50:54,675
Yeah. Well, people started recognizing me. Yeah.

838
00:50:54,795 --> 00:50:58,859
From being in these groups and people

839
00:50:58,907 --> 00:51:02,055
I didn't recognize or people that I wasn't certain of.

840
00:51:02,715 --> 00:51:07,095
And when I'm out in public and I have social anxiety,

841
00:51:07,475 --> 00:51:11,775
it's almost like a horse with blinders on. I cannot

842
00:51:11,895 --> 00:51:15,767
really see who's around me. I'm just seeing what's

843
00:51:15,831 --> 00:51:19,783
literally right in front of me. And so people

844
00:51:19,839 --> 00:51:23,455
are looking at me and they're pointing at me, and I'm just kind of

845
00:51:23,495 --> 00:51:26,663
standing there. And what it did was

846
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:30,391
it forced me to be in a position where I had to

847
00:51:30,503 --> 00:51:33,655
socialize with people. Yeah. Because all of a sudden,

848
00:51:33,695 --> 00:51:37,427
they knew me. Yeah. And they wanted to come and say hello.

849
00:51:37,531 --> 00:51:40,775
Yes. And I don't want to be a dick.

850
00:51:41,115 --> 00:51:44,979
And so I forced myself to talk to people.

851
00:51:45,067 --> 00:51:48,707
Yeah. And I learned how to socialize better. And I can say now,

852
00:51:48,771 --> 00:51:51,895
as we come towards the end of 2024,

853
00:51:52,635 --> 00:51:55,915
I have gotten really far past the hump.

854
00:51:55,995 --> 00:51:59,283
You've gotten pretty far. I am still kind of working

855
00:51:59,339 --> 00:52:02,879
on it. Yeah. Yeah. So I am

856
00:52:02,927 --> 00:52:06,567
getting like you. You're really good. Especially last. Last weekend. Like,

857
00:52:06,591 --> 00:52:10,423
we're always together. Yeah. You're my comfort. I'm your comfort.

858
00:52:10,479 --> 00:52:13,887
It is what it is. Sometimes that. That day, you were.

859
00:52:13,951 --> 00:52:17,463
You were wanting to be a little social butterfly. Right. I did not want to

860
00:52:17,479 --> 00:52:20,759
leave my cocoon. That's right. That's right. And so, you know,

861
00:52:20,807 --> 00:52:24,663
things like that happen. But yeah. So anxiety is.

862
00:52:24,839 --> 00:52:28,119
Social anxiety is crazy. And so

863
00:52:28,287 --> 00:52:30,919
I know how bad I can get,

864
00:52:31,087 --> 00:52:34,807
and it does make me a little insecure from time to time.

865
00:52:34,871 --> 00:52:38,207
Yeah. Regarding that sort of situation. Well,

866
00:52:38,231 --> 00:52:41,487
I. I mean, we just had a talk with our friends. They were asking us

867
00:52:41,511 --> 00:52:45,191
if we were going to go to a certain event, and I asked about the

868
00:52:45,223 --> 00:52:48,511
venue, if it was a large venue, and she told me, no,

869
00:52:48,543 --> 00:52:51,751
it was actually relatively small. Yeah. And I was like,

870
00:52:51,863 --> 00:52:54,807
yeesh, because there's. Going to be a lot of people. There's going to be a

871
00:52:54,831 --> 00:52:58,151
lot of people. Well, this last one was small. This last one was

872
00:52:58,183 --> 00:53:01,079
small. But there was an outside. The. The group was small,

873
00:53:01,127 --> 00:53:04,943
too. No way. We packed it up. Well, we packed the whole house.

874
00:53:04,999 --> 00:53:08,223
But there was enough room. Yeah. There was always a seat. Yeah.

875
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:11,959
There was always outside. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. But, yeah, even still,

876
00:53:12,087 --> 00:53:15,671
I. I'm dealing with this social anxiety.

877
00:53:15,743 --> 00:53:19,015
Yeah. And so am I. So, like, when y'all

878
00:53:19,055 --> 00:53:22,991
see us there kind of together, it's. One of us is

879
00:53:23,023 --> 00:53:26,943
struggling. Yeah. And it doesn't help if you try

880
00:53:26,959 --> 00:53:30,207
to pull this apart or, like, try to

881
00:53:30,231 --> 00:53:34,207
pull one or the other. It doesn't. It. Sometimes it'll trigger

882
00:53:34,231 --> 00:53:37,647
my anxiety. Yeah. Yeah. So. But, like, if you

883
00:53:37,671 --> 00:53:41,035
tell me, hey, I'm going to go there real quick to go talk to whomever,

884
00:53:41,375 --> 00:53:44,791
I can figure out what to do. I get it. But sometimes my mind

885
00:53:44,823 --> 00:53:47,383
gets to me and I just want to sit there. And if I want to

886
00:53:47,399 --> 00:53:50,823
sit there, people are like, oh, why is she sitting there by herself?

887
00:53:50,919 --> 00:53:54,331
It's like, dude, this is my piece. Just let me sit there.

888
00:53:54,403 --> 00:53:57,611
Like, it's hard to be a social human being when you

889
00:53:57,643 --> 00:54:01,011
don't socialize. It is, yeah. Yes. But we're

890
00:54:01,043 --> 00:54:04,531
getting better. 2025 is going to be a better year.

891
00:54:04,603 --> 00:54:07,603
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, we have this.

892
00:54:07,779 --> 00:54:11,235
We do. This is fun, actually. You know, we're. We're enjoying. And I'm doing

893
00:54:11,275 --> 00:54:14,615
the little tickety talkities. Yes, you are. And the little

894
00:54:15,115 --> 00:54:18,501
Instagrams and Facebook. Yeah, You're. You're. I'm going to be this

895
00:54:18,533 --> 00:54:22,021
little social media butterfly. You're doing the social media.

896
00:54:22,213 --> 00:54:25,525
I'm really doing the. The podcast planning.

897
00:54:25,565 --> 00:54:29,053
I say between the two of us, we are knocking out social

898
00:54:29,149 --> 00:54:33,141
anxiety. Oh, yeah, yeah. We can do great. We can do

899
00:54:33,173 --> 00:54:35,733
great behind the camera, behind the scenes. Oh,

900
00:54:35,869 --> 00:54:39,285
yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but out

901
00:54:39,325 --> 00:54:42,901
in front, in front of crowds and now. Forget it. No, yeah, we'll just

902
00:54:42,933 --> 00:54:46,413
carry a microphone with this. Yeah. It's like the great and powerful Oz.

903
00:54:46,469 --> 00:54:48,945
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

904
00:54:49,625 --> 00:54:53,241
Now, that's. That's. That's, I think, part of my imposter syndrome.

905
00:54:53,353 --> 00:54:56,409
How about that? Look at that. Look at that. Full circle.

906
00:54:56,577 --> 00:54:59,737
Wow. That's right. Full circle. But I'm not insecure about

907
00:54:59,761 --> 00:55:03,577
that. Oh, thank you. See, I'm not insecure about that. No. But I

908
00:55:03,601 --> 00:55:07,777
know I have some intellect just a little bit. I'm mildly educated.

909
00:55:07,961 --> 00:55:11,425
Oh, okay. Well, judging by

910
00:55:11,505 --> 00:55:14,545
my wife's midair hip thrusts,

911
00:55:14,705 --> 00:55:17,971
I think I'm going to have to end this

912
00:55:18,043 --> 00:55:21,387
because a shirt just came off.

913
00:55:21,571 --> 00:55:24,995
So I will say once again, thank you,

914
00:55:25,075 --> 00:55:29,707
everybody, for your love and support and for spending

915
00:55:29,771 --> 00:55:33,139
another episode with us. We really

916
00:55:33,227 --> 00:55:36,667
enjoy doing this for not

917
00:55:36,691 --> 00:55:40,155
only you guys, but it's also quite cathartic for us.

918
00:55:40,235 --> 00:55:43,797
Yeah, it really is. We really have a lot of fun with this,

919
00:55:43,971 --> 00:55:47,217
and, you know, I hope you have fun with it, too. And we.

920
00:55:47,281 --> 00:55:50,897
We have a lot of fun, fun shows that

921
00:55:50,921 --> 00:55:54,553
are going to be coming through down the pike. So if you're not already following

922
00:55:54,609 --> 00:55:57,785
us, please follow us. Give us a list like

923
00:55:57,825 --> 00:56:01,921
us. Give us a review. Absolutely. We could definitely use

924
00:56:01,953 --> 00:56:05,721
your support. Even if you're not in the lifestyle, if you're just,

925
00:56:05,873 --> 00:56:09,361
you know, looking to support a small podcast, we could always use it,

926
00:56:09,393 --> 00:56:13,343
you know, But I just want to say I love you all out there,

927
00:56:13,439 --> 00:56:16,887
and I hope everybody has a great holiday

928
00:56:16,991 --> 00:56:20,407
coming up, and we'll see you next week.