S1 E18 Swinger Lingo 101: Understanding the Basics

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. We explore

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topics surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships,

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and related subjects in an open and candid manner. Please be

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advised that we are not licensed marriage or sex therapists, and the

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content shared here is for entertainment and informational purposes only.

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If you are under 18 years of age or prefer not to engage with discussions

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about sex, relationships, or mature language, we strongly

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recommend that you refrain from listening further. However, if you are of legal

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age and comfortable with this content, we invite you to settle in

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and enjoy the show. Hello, and welcome

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to another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam. And I'm Pris.

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And today we are teaching you a little something.

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It's Swinger terminology 101.

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Oh, you know a lot of the terminology. Well, you know, I had to do

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a lot of research. I know I had to do a lot of research because

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I am a research geek. I know. I love that. Yeah. And so.

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Yeah. Because there's some things. And I'm like, what does that mean? Well,

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yeah. And, you know, where it really got thick was the poly.

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When we became poly and the different terminology. But, you know,

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it wasn't as bad when it came to swinging

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because a lot of the lingo was

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kind of easy to figure out. Some.

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Not a lot, but, I mean, some were at least. Yeah.

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Yeah. You. Sometimes you still have to break it down for me. Yeah. Well,

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I mean, little bit by little bit, there are things that come up.

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There's a lot of stuff that we haven't really delved into,

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but I know a little bit about, or I've read about things like that,

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or you hear from friends. This and that. And that's really how you

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learn commonly, is you get information here and there from different people.

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I know a lot of friends that tell us they learned about

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the lifestyle through podcasts, which just blows my mind.

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Right. Like, I did not know that. Well, you kind of learned it well.

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So I never listened to podcasts,

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so to know that people learn stuff from podcasts,

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that just blew my mind. I was like, wow, that's interesting. Yeah. So, you know,

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while we. We do a lot of entertaining shows here, we also try to really

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throw in some educational aspects of this because, you know,

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there's. There's a lot of stuff that people are already familiar with,

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but there's a lot of stuff that people aren't familiar with.

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Right. And, you know, I think it would help to really throw that stuff

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out there. Give it to us. Yeah. So today we want to be

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your sexual translators. And so that's what we're going

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to work on today. You got to know your lingo. Sexual translators.

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Oh, you like that. You're such a good sex

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singer. Thank you. Yeah. This is not karaoke time though, I'll tell you

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that. All right, so we're going to start off with some very basic

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terms. These are the basic terms that they have out there. When you get into

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the lifestyle, you're going to hear this often. Okay. The word swinging in and

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of itself. Now most people are familiar this, with this term. This term

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has been around for a long time, right? Yeah. As a matter of fact,

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there's a lot of people who don't like the word swinging. They don't like that

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label because it's a very old school label.

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Really. Yeah, yeah. What would they rather it be

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called? An alternative lifestyle?

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Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, it's essentially

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when you're engaging in a consensual and. Consensual partner swapping

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for sexual and social experiences.

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Okay. I mean that's pretty straightforward. I like that. But like

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I said, a lot of these terms are self explanatory. Yeah.

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You know, so then you've got the, the soft swap. Now if

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you're new coming into this, you're not really going to know much about the

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swaps. You hear about wife swaps, you hear about couple swaps.

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And couple swaps are essentially, I mean, it is what it,

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it sounds like. Yeah. You know, you're a couple, they're a couple

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and you're going to swap. You know, I mean, it's that simple. But you've

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got your soft swap and you've got your full swap.

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And so it's, it's important to really know the difference between the two.

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And so soft swap is essentially where you're

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going to have sexual activity.

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Okay. But it's not going to be physical penetrative

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sex. You've explained this to me. And, and well,

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so it's not full intercourse. It's almost like. So it's just oral. Just oral.

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It could be making out, it could be grinding, it could be fingers,

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it could be a lot of that stuff. But you're not having genital

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to genital penetrated sex. Well, then you can't finger.

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Oh, genital to genital. Penetrative sex.

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Yeah. So it's, it's, it can, it can be a lot of oral,

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you know, it can be stuff like that. That's a soft swap.

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Okay. We have

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engaged in this before. Yes.

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Not a whole lot. No, no. I would say

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that the people that we engaged Soft swap with. It wasn't initially

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that way. Like, they. They weren't a soft swap couple. It just.

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That's where we stopped. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or we went with each

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other after that. Whatever. It wasn't actually planned. Now,

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there are some couples out there that. That tout themselves only as

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soft swap. Okay. And, you know, nothing wrong

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with that. No, nothing wrong with that. Not really our thing. Is it

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just because they're going slow or just you don't ask them?

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Yeah, yeah. You know, everybody's got their own reasons. Gotcha. But then obviously

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you have the full swap. The full swap is where,

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you know, we're swapping partners. Yes. Something we did last night.

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And we. That's. We sure as hell.

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Yeah, we did. Yeah, that was fun. That was fun. A lot

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of fun. Yeah. You came a lot. I did. And so did she.

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I. She did. Oh, man. Job. Yeah. High five.

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What up? Boom. Yeah, I like it.

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That was four high fives. You like an octopus. Yeah. They're not here

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to give high fives. Yeah. Virtual high five. Yeah.

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But essentially it was a full swap. You know, I. I had my.

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There was two beds in the hotel, and her and I got started,

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and we were on one bed, and you and him got started, and y'all were

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on the other bed. Yeah. And then eventually we were all on

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the same bed. And then eventually we were all on different beds again.

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Yeah. Yes. But we had a nice little full

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swap experience. That was a lot of fun. So those are

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the basic terms when it comes to swinging. Now,

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if you're new, obviously you'll hear terms like pineapples.

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Pineapples are referred to a lot. The upside down pineapple

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or the fine apples. People always want to know the

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story or the reason why pineapples

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are our mascot. Yeah. For. I have no idea.

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Yeah. And it just makes no. It makes no sense. All I know is that,

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you know, there was a trend that was started at some point where you put

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an upside down pineapple on your front porch, and that means

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that that's where the swinger party's at, and that's how you know

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where to meet. I'm sure someone's going to explain to us why

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it's a pineapple. Oh, I know. I'm not sure I want to

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listen to it, but I'm sure somebody will reach out and tell us. Now,

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there are party and event terms that are used

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often, and until you start getting into them,

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you. You're not really familiar with them. Okay. Now,

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obviously, I didn't Know that? Yeah, yeah. So one of the

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first things that somebody asked me, they obviously

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were not in the lifestyle, but they had asked. They asked questions and

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they talk about the podcast and things like that. They heard me

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refer to the LS or the lifestyle. Yeah.

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They're like, what is that? And essentially it's. It's this

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way of life. I mean, it's the way of life, the alternative lifestyle that we

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have created for ourselves. And whatever that means for you.

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Whatever it means for us. For us, it is a sexually

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free type of lifestyle. Yeah. Where we're still betrothed

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to each other. Yes. But we are able to experience sexual

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fun with others. Yes. But it could be different for anybody.

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Yeah, It's. There are people in the kink lifestyle who have different.

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It's different communities. So that's one of the.

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The terms there. Meet and greets. Now,

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we weren't really too familiar with meet and greets until we

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moved to our current community because there just weren't too many

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in our old community. No, no. But out here,

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there's like a meet and greet every week.

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Yes. And we're in two different communities,

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essentially two different cities. Yeah. And we attend

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meet and greets all the time. And essentially you

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have an event where a group

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will say, okay, you know, everybody come and meet us up.

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And you could see these people, the same people every

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week at these meet and greets, but they're opportunities for new

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people to come in and meet the community.

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And most times they take place at bars because

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everybody likes to drink and get loose. Yeah. And everybody

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has a good time. Yeah, I like. Oh,

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sometimes we have them at. Sometimes we have brunches. Yeah, that's true.

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Sometimes there are date time. There's all kinds of meet and greets.

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We've had one at a golf course, bowling lane. Oh,

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yeah. You know, we. They try to make. They try to make them fun.

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We had ours at a coffee bar.

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Yes. It was also a full bar, but it was coffee because we love coffee.

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Totally. And it was in our little, little town here.

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So, yeah, meet and greets are really fun for. For new

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people. Now the, the problem that I see a. Often,

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oftentimes with meet and greets is that people will have them at loud

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venues. Loud music venues. Yeah. So they'll have them at a

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frigging club where there's a live band.

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Yeah. And the. The live band obviously is. Is pouring

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through the speakers and you can't really have conversations.

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So meet and greets for me are good to

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just say hello, meet somebody in person,

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but not really explore them.

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Right. Most times at meet and greets, we'll meet somebody,

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we'll vibe with them, or we'll see if there's any kind of connection. And then

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afterwards we'll reach out to him and go, hey, it was nice meeting you.

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Maybe we can grab a dinner. Yeah. Or something. And it's.

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At least you can put a name to a face sometimes. Yeah. You know.

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Yeah. So they are. They are fun. So it does help. But I've never

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been to a meet and greet where it's been really. Like, I was

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really able to catch up with people. Yeah. You know.

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Well, we did go to one on St. Patrick's Day. St.

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Patrick's Day, we went to one and it was very chill, remember?

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Oh, yeah, that was. We were able to. Yeah, we were able to talk.

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Talk to some friends and stuff. That was one of the few times because most.

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Most times they're at very loud venues. Yeah. And it's

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really difficult to have conversations there. So that was a good.

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That was a good one. That was kind of impressive.

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You'll hear this at clubs and at house parties,

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but. Playroom. Yes, Playroom,

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obviously this is one of those where it could go either way. You could probably.

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It sounds exactly like what it is.

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You know, most house parties,

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they'll have a designated playroom. That'll be the spot. I mean,

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obviously if you go to a house party, most times, you're not gonna just

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drop trowel as soon as you walk through the door and go,

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okay, somebody suck my dick. You know, like, it's not gonna happen that way.

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If it did. Oh, man, that would really be interesting. We've been to a party

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like that. Kinda. Yeah, kinda. I mean,

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and they usually have designated rooms for parties,

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like playrooms. Yeah. And sometimes they're themed. Sometimes it's

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kind of neat. Yeah. You know, open door, close the door,

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or. I like it when they have that yoga chair. We really

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get to have fun in that. That yoga chair, man. I love that. Yeah.

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I want one of those so bad. Yeah. But they're like 300 bucks,

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man. But hey, we. We'd get our worth out of it. You know,

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we hadn't spent $300 on sushi. Well, that was

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for a family of eight, to be fair. True.

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So, yeah. But yeah, we definitely got to get one of those chairs.

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Yeah. So most of these playrooms, I mean, really, it depends.

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We have been to all different types and themed playrooms.

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But I mean, it is exactly what it sounds like it is. A room that

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is designated for you to play in. Now, at house

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parties, it could be different things. Sometimes they have an open door policy.

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Sometimes they have a closed door policy. Some people like to have

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a playroom that they can close the door and have privacy. But some house

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parties, they say, sorry, but you got to keep the door open. Yeah.

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You know, it's just one of those things. We prefer the door open.

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We like to give a show. We sure do. Yeah. That's always fun.

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That's always fun. Now let's talk dynamics for a. For a second.

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Dynamics is a fun conversation for me, especially when I'm getting to know

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somebody new. For me too. Yeah, it's. It's a

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good starter question for couples.

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For singles, whatever. Well, I mean, you don't really have to ask a single

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what their dynamic is because it's just them. So most

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of the time. Well, but what do they like? Yeah,

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what do they like? But as far as, like, what's their dynamic?

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Obviously not going to be full swap or soft swap. You know what I mean?

225
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:52,880
Like. Well, actually, no. I mean, yeah, that's not. Yeah, I guess that made

226
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:56,272
sense when I said it out loud. Don't listen to me, guys. I don't know

227
00:13:56,296 --> 00:14:00,160
what I'm talking about. So. Yes, everybody should have a dynamic. Everybody should

228
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,328
talk about dynamics. That's for sure. For sure. So every time

229
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:07,456
you. So what is a dynamic? What is a dynamic? Well, a dynamic

230
00:14:07,488 --> 00:14:11,216
is essentially how you play. What. What is

231
00:14:11,288 --> 00:14:13,664
your. Your way to play?

232
00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:17,632
Yeah, there's a few different types. One of my favorites is

233
00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:21,376
a hot wife dynamic. Hot wife and stag. Yeah.

234
00:14:21,568 --> 00:14:25,312
So a hot wife dynamic is a married

235
00:14:25,376 --> 00:14:29,180
woman who engages in sexual activities with others,

236
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,740
often with her partner's encouragement.

237
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,296
Now I'm digging that. We, we do partake in this.

238
00:14:37,368 --> 00:14:40,608
I love watching you. Yeah, like, that really gets

239
00:14:40,624 --> 00:14:44,352
me off, is watching you with somebody else. I love watching you

240
00:14:44,376 --> 00:14:47,888
with a woman, but I really love watching you with a guy. Yeah.

241
00:14:48,064 --> 00:14:51,328
Something very, very hot about it. And I think primarily because

242
00:14:51,384 --> 00:14:55,120
I know what they're getting. I know how good it is. And I'm like,

243
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,320
man, it's like you'll see the guy making the

244
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,520
faces when you're going down on him and things like that. I'm like, yeah,

245
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,736
yeah, I get that. I understand it because that

246
00:15:04,808 --> 00:15:08,608
is amazing. You know, But I, I like the. I like

247
00:15:08,664 --> 00:15:12,832
watching my wife be a slut. Yeah. I like her being that porn

248
00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:16,036
star that's just so fucking heated that she just

249
00:15:16,108 --> 00:15:19,636
needs to get stick. I love that. It's fucking hot.

250
00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:22,964
Yeah. Hey, I love that. It's incredible. So what

251
00:15:22,972 --> 00:15:26,480
is it? When a woman wants, like me, I like to watch you.

252
00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:30,372
So I've read the term as cuck queen.

253
00:15:30,516 --> 00:15:34,004
Oh. But here's the thing. They call it cuck queen,

254
00:15:34,052 --> 00:15:38,280
but realistically, it's not a cuckold situation.

255
00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:42,452
So a cuckold is another type of dynamic that some

256
00:15:42,476 --> 00:15:44,720
people seem to confuse with.

257
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,744
It really adds more of the humiliation aspect of

258
00:15:49,752 --> 00:15:53,152
it. Cuckold does. Yes. So,

259
00:15:53,336 --> 00:15:56,500
you know, it'll be a lot of building up. Like maybe

260
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,928
the wife will be having sex with

261
00:16:00,984 --> 00:16:05,220
another man, all the while talking to the husband,

262
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:09,584
saying how great this guy is and how big his dick

263
00:16:09,632 --> 00:16:12,912
is compared to the other guy, to the husband. You know,

264
00:16:12,936 --> 00:16:16,740
stuff like that. Stuff that's really meant to kind of humiliate. Okay.

265
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,060
The husband. Right. And that's part of the kink.

266
00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:23,756
And, and a lot of times in cuckold, they'll, you know,

267
00:16:23,828 --> 00:16:27,884
they'll lock away their dick. There's a, like a metal apparatus

268
00:16:27,932 --> 00:16:31,596
that you can put around your balls and your dick, and you lock

269
00:16:31,628 --> 00:16:35,880
it, and this person takes the key and

270
00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:39,836
you can't really get hard, and obviously you can't

271
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:43,644
touch yourself. Yeah. So you're just, you're locked away and you're forced

272
00:16:43,692 --> 00:16:47,096
to sit here and watch this woman who you've

273
00:16:47,128 --> 00:16:50,820
married have sex with another man and degrade you.

274
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:55,144
So I, I, I like the,

275
00:16:55,232 --> 00:16:58,488
the key part. I don't like the degrading part.

276
00:16:58,544 --> 00:17:01,608
Now, I don't think I could ever do that to you. Well, I mean,

277
00:17:01,664 --> 00:17:05,016
it's, It's a thing for people. I mean, and I'm not, I'm definitely

278
00:17:05,048 --> 00:17:08,616
not dogging it because, you know, to each. It's kind of. It's kind of hot.

279
00:17:08,768 --> 00:17:11,928
Yeah. I see the. I see. Well, and we've talked because we met it.

280
00:17:11,984 --> 00:17:15,690
We met a couple that, that was. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And just talking to them

281
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,794
about it was very hot. I'm not gonna lie.

282
00:17:18,842 --> 00:17:22,970
Just talking. I mean, I wouldn't want it for me, but we

283
00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:27,130
were talking about being the couple that was playing with the wife while he

284
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:29,470
watched and was locked away. Yeah.

285
00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:33,626
Kind of hot. Yeah. Yeah, kind of hot. But that's

286
00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:36,554
definitely kink. That's separate from the hot wife.

287
00:17:36,602 --> 00:17:40,222
Now, for a woman who likes to watch

288
00:17:40,386 --> 00:17:44,118
her man play that I've always

289
00:17:44,174 --> 00:17:47,382
read as a, A cuckoldress.

290
00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:51,110
Okay. Or a cuck queen. Okay. But of course,

291
00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:54,390
like I said, there's no humiliation aspect, so I don't know how correct that

292
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:58,278
term is. Watching you. So cuck queen. Okay. You Know. All right.

293
00:17:58,334 --> 00:18:02,358
I love you watching me. It's. Oh, my gosh, it is hot.

294
00:18:02,494 --> 00:18:05,862
Love it. So then there. That. That leads into the stag and vixen.

295
00:18:05,926 --> 00:18:10,250
Okay. Dynamic. This stagger, stag, and vixen dynamic

296
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:14,646
is where the male partner enjoys watching his female partner engage

297
00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:18,342
with others. Now, I don't feel like that's

298
00:18:18,406 --> 00:18:21,050
very different from the hot wife. Yeah.

299
00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:26,582
I. I really don't see the differences between those two at all, honestly.

300
00:18:26,646 --> 00:18:29,814
Okay. And the vixen is the same thing. Yeah. Yeah.

301
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,622
So they're both the same to me, if you ask me. I don't know.

302
00:18:33,806 --> 00:18:37,254
I think it's silly that they put those terms separately, if you ask me.

303
00:18:37,342 --> 00:18:40,070
Yeah. I mean, yes, I want to be a vixen.

304
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:44,210
Well, you are a vixen. Thanks. Is sexy motherfucker.

305
00:18:44,370 --> 00:18:47,538
Now, another term that that comes up often is unicorn. Now, we.

306
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:51,474
We have known some unicorns over the years. Yeah, we have.

307
00:18:51,562 --> 00:18:55,682
The reason why they call them unicorns is because they are single women

308
00:18:55,866 --> 00:19:00,002
who often are bisexual single women who

309
00:19:00,026 --> 00:19:03,874
can go both ways, men and women, and they're

310
00:19:03,922 --> 00:19:07,470
considered a unicorn because they are so hard to find,

311
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,312
that they're considered unicorns because unicorns are

312
00:19:11,336 --> 00:19:14,220
hard to find. They are a mythical creature. Right.

313
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:18,560
And so it's a single woman, often bisexual woman willing to join a

314
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,672
couple. Okay, question. Okay. That is

315
00:19:22,696 --> 00:19:26,144
what a unicorn is. But in the. In the lifestyle.

316
00:19:26,192 --> 00:19:29,940
In the lifestyle, like, say, for me. Right, yeah.

317
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,744
Sorry. I'm gonna use the word people don't like, but whatevs.

318
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:37,472
You allow me to go and play with couples by myself

319
00:19:37,536 --> 00:19:40,752
if. Yeah, if it's good. Right, sure. And I go

320
00:19:40,776 --> 00:19:44,208
both ways. Right. So am I considered. So you wouldn't be

321
00:19:44,264 --> 00:19:47,936
a unicorn, slash. Well, you're not a unicorn because

322
00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:51,728
you're not a single woman. Right. So what is. What am I.

323
00:19:51,784 --> 00:19:55,376
What is that called? I don't know. Right. I guess that's

324
00:19:55,408 --> 00:19:58,660
a vixen. You would be a vixen or a hot wife.

325
00:19:59,170 --> 00:20:02,234
Hot wife. Yeah. Yeah.

326
00:20:02,362 --> 00:20:05,530
Okay. So there you go. That's your answer. You're just

327
00:20:05,570 --> 00:20:09,178
blowing my mind with all these. The unicorn is a

328
00:20:09,234 --> 00:20:12,042
single bisexual woman.

329
00:20:12,226 --> 00:20:15,674
But what is a male? What is. Oh, wait, I know what a

330
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:19,626
male is. It's a dragon. No, it's a dragon.

331
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:23,546
A single bisexual male. That is

332
00:20:23,618 --> 00:20:26,250
good to be in a relationship with. With a couple.

333
00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:29,738
Okay. Is a dragon another mythical creature?

334
00:20:29,834 --> 00:20:33,482
Another mythical creature. I think those are actually easier to.

335
00:20:33,506 --> 00:20:37,018
Find single bisexual males. I don't

336
00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:39,946
think so. Oh, actually, no. Not bisexual. I don't think so.

337
00:20:40,018 --> 00:20:43,130
Yeah, I think it's easier to find single bisexual women

338
00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:45,790
than it is to find single bisexual males. Yeah.

339
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:50,138
What's funny is we have known several unicorns

340
00:20:50,154 --> 00:20:53,792
throughout the years when we first started, that's what

341
00:20:53,816 --> 00:20:57,280
we wanted. Right. And I think a lot of couples, when they first

342
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,640
start as newbies in the lifestyle, that's what they want. You see,

343
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,352
you, you can always tell who's new because you'll see these posts in

344
00:21:04,376 --> 00:21:07,936
the group that'll say, my wife and I are looking for

345
00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:11,808
a female to join us tonight. Yeah. You, you always

346
00:21:11,864 --> 00:21:14,944
start off that way. Yeah. And then after a while,

347
00:21:15,032 --> 00:21:18,460
if, if you decide that the lifestyle is for you,

348
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:22,230
you kind of evolve. You do. And things start to

349
00:21:22,270 --> 00:21:25,670
change. Usually for the most part for most people. So not

350
00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:28,662
everybody, but for the most part, there's a lot of people that they begin to

351
00:21:28,686 --> 00:21:32,310
kind of evolve. They begin to change. That was the case for us.

352
00:21:32,430 --> 00:21:35,782
Yeah. Initially, we were always looking for just,

353
00:21:35,886 --> 00:21:38,822
just a single woman to come join us. Like, why can't we just find a

354
00:21:38,846 --> 00:21:42,022
single woman just to come. Single ladies, come join us. You know,

355
00:21:42,046 --> 00:21:45,170
I mean, we're an awesome couple. We're a lot of fun.

356
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:48,742
Why wouldn't a single woman just want to come and have fun with us and

357
00:21:48,846 --> 00:21:52,386
enjoy ourselves? Yeah. Gosh. You know,

358
00:21:52,458 --> 00:21:56,834
but realistically, as time went on and

359
00:21:56,922 --> 00:22:01,314
we had different experiences and even

360
00:22:01,402 --> 00:22:04,790
did the poly thing and did the dating and all that stuff,

361
00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:08,430
even after all of that, we realized that, you know,

362
00:22:08,890 --> 00:22:12,110
sometimes having the single woman,

363
00:22:12,410 --> 00:22:16,540
while it's a fantasy for most, it's not

364
00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:20,880
always the best situation for couples

365
00:22:21,460 --> 00:22:24,860
a lot of times. And, and I've talked to a lot of single females about

366
00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:28,380
this. A lot of unicorns, they have

367
00:22:28,420 --> 00:22:31,052
it rough oftentimes. Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

368
00:22:31,156 --> 00:22:34,828
Yeah. Because you're, you're stepping into an already well made

369
00:22:34,884 --> 00:22:37,964
relationship. Yeah. To have fun with this couple.

370
00:22:38,012 --> 00:22:41,180
And sometimes this couple's not ready for that.

371
00:22:41,220 --> 00:22:44,934
Yeah. They think they are. Yeah. But they're not. Yeah. And then all of

372
00:22:44,942 --> 00:22:48,838
a sudden, oh, you're showing too much attention to my husband or you're

373
00:22:48,854 --> 00:22:52,598
showing too much attention to my wife. And then there's some sort of issue.

374
00:22:52,734 --> 00:22:55,942
Yeah, for sure. You know, I feel bad for a lot of single women in

375
00:22:55,966 --> 00:22:59,542
the lifestyle because, man, it has got to be tough.

376
00:22:59,606 --> 00:23:03,222
Yeah. Yeah. Can't be, can't be easy at

377
00:23:03,246 --> 00:23:06,902
all. So, you know, that's, that's definitely

378
00:23:06,966 --> 00:23:10,722
one of the, the fun things about the lifestyle when you

379
00:23:10,746 --> 00:23:14,546
first go in, kind of discovering that it's not just about

380
00:23:14,698 --> 00:23:17,842
that single one connection. Like there's some fun stuff out

381
00:23:17,866 --> 00:23:21,570
there. There is. There's a lot of fun stuff. Never thought that I would be

382
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:26,194
one to really enjoy the MFM threesome.

383
00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:29,570
Male, female, male. Correct. Yeah. There you go.

384
00:23:29,610 --> 00:23:33,458
You broke it down. I did. I, you know, I enjoyed

385
00:23:33,474 --> 00:23:37,234
that. I realized from our first time on that that was one of

386
00:23:37,242 --> 00:23:40,430
my favorite things. And it was really. It' I'm a.

387
00:23:40,550 --> 00:23:44,238
I'm a pleaser. And because of that, I like

388
00:23:44,294 --> 00:23:47,870
to be able to please you or please whoever it is we're having

389
00:23:47,910 --> 00:23:51,230
fun with. Right. Yeah. And so we get to double up.

390
00:23:51,270 --> 00:23:53,982
Me and some other guy get to double up and. And please another one.

391
00:23:54,006 --> 00:23:57,566
It's freaking hot, you know? Love that. Yeah, it's hot. So that's.

392
00:23:57,598 --> 00:24:01,210
That's a lot of fun. I agree. Oh, I got to do that on.

393
00:24:01,590 --> 00:24:04,170
On my birthday. Yes, you did.

394
00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:08,250
That was fun. Yes, you did. That was fun, huh? Yeah.

395
00:24:08,330 --> 00:24:11,642
Some good times. So, you know, and that's. Those are

396
00:24:11,666 --> 00:24:15,338
some more jargon that you got to consider. There's the. The. The different threesomes,

397
00:24:15,354 --> 00:24:18,362
you know, so you've got the mfm, the male, female,

398
00:24:18,426 --> 00:24:22,090
male, the fmf, the female,

399
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:25,386
male, female. Love that one.

400
00:24:25,538 --> 00:24:29,562
But also, keep in mind, it's. It depends on the placement of the letters.

401
00:24:29,706 --> 00:24:33,050
So if you say the ffm, that's a

402
00:24:33,090 --> 00:24:36,812
female, female, male, where the female and

403
00:24:36,836 --> 00:24:40,140
the male are pleasuring the female. Oh, I like

404
00:24:40,180 --> 00:24:43,308
that. Instead of the fmf,

405
00:24:43,404 --> 00:24:46,588
where the two females are pleasuring the male. Ooh.

406
00:24:46,684 --> 00:24:50,828
You see what I'm saying? So it works. It works with the letters.

407
00:24:50,924 --> 00:24:54,044
The one in the middle is really kind of the one getting

408
00:24:54,212 --> 00:24:57,320
the doubled up on pleasure. You know what I'm saying?

409
00:24:57,620 --> 00:25:00,732
So the M, F, M is two males taking care of

410
00:25:00,756 --> 00:25:04,364
the female. I enjoy the F in the middle or the F on

411
00:25:04,372 --> 00:25:08,184
the end. Okay. You just enjoy being the F carry

412
00:25:08,312 --> 00:25:12,072
in any of those scenarios. Me too. Yeah. Because look at it.

413
00:25:12,096 --> 00:25:15,048
I mean, if it was the three fff, you know.

414
00:25:15,184 --> 00:25:18,920
Yes. It doesn't matter the placement. You're gonna be up in there. Yes. You know,

415
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,232
just rolling around. That's right. So those

416
00:25:22,256 --> 00:25:25,432
are things to keep in mind whenever you're talking threesomes. It definitely

417
00:25:25,496 --> 00:25:28,856
matters where you place. Yeah. Because if you do an M in the middle.

418
00:25:28,968 --> 00:25:32,658
Fmm. Yeah. And the guy is not bisexual,

419
00:25:32,674 --> 00:25:35,714
you'd be like, what the. Yeah. Yeah. Which. Which M is going to be in

420
00:25:35,722 --> 00:25:39,362
the middle? Yeah, Yeah. I don't know. Okay, cool. So, yeah, those are. Those are

421
00:25:39,386 --> 00:25:42,562
things to keep in mind, especially if you're new to the lifestyle. You got to

422
00:25:42,586 --> 00:25:46,230
keep Those things in mind, letter placement does. What's brb?

423
00:25:47,370 --> 00:25:51,150
I'm just kidding. Moving on.

424
00:25:51,930 --> 00:25:56,444
When it comes to communication and preferences, you've got the hard no.

425
00:25:56,642 --> 00:26:00,632
The hard no. It's a clear boundary that

426
00:26:00,656 --> 00:26:04,824
is not negotiable. Right. Anal for us is a hard no.

427
00:26:04,992 --> 00:26:08,440
Right. Especially for me. Yeah. I don't care for

428
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,752
it. Yeah. And I don't. I don't want to be penetrated.

429
00:26:11,816 --> 00:26:15,496
No, no, not for me. No. I'm not a. I'm not into pegging.

430
00:26:15,608 --> 00:26:19,272
No. Now, some guys are. And hey, no judgment here. Good for you.

431
00:26:19,376 --> 00:26:22,304
But that's not my. But anal anyway. Like, period. You don't.

432
00:26:22,432 --> 00:26:25,980
We don't do anal yet. Well, but we've. We've opened it up.

433
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:31,248
We've opened it up now. We haven't tried. We haven't had the opportunity.

434
00:26:31,344 --> 00:26:34,880
Yeah, but. Yeah, no, it. It has not come

435
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,000
up yet. Yeah, but as soon as I get it, I'm taking it.

436
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,312
Oh. Oh, yeah. Okay. As soon as a woman comes up to me and says,

437
00:26:41,336 --> 00:26:44,320
hey, can you. Can you? My ass. Absolutely.

438
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,456
Okay, I can, because I have permission now. Yeah.

439
00:26:47,568 --> 00:26:51,016
Yeah, that's right. Okay. Oh, look at that face over there.

440
00:26:51,088 --> 00:26:54,632
You're stupid, aren't you? It's all good. We can

441
00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:58,360
go at it. We can go at it a little bit. Okay. Yeah, you can

442
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,940
take your anger out on my. On my dick, huh? Yeah, I'll do that.

443
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,384
Man, you're holding so much back. I can see it.

444
00:27:05,552 --> 00:27:08,792
There's so much being held back. Move on. Next. The next thing on the

445
00:27:08,816 --> 00:27:12,568
list is the soft yes. Have you ever heard of this? The soft yes?

446
00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:16,050
No, no. The soft yes is open to

447
00:27:16,090 --> 00:27:19,270
trying something, but with some reservations.

448
00:27:19,850 --> 00:27:22,070
Almost like biselective.

449
00:27:22,890 --> 00:27:26,034
Okay, gotcha. Or bi. Situational.

450
00:27:26,082 --> 00:27:29,710
Bi. Situational. Yeah, that. You know, when you have a woman who says,

451
00:27:30,170 --> 00:27:34,146
I'm not really bisexual, but I'll lick your pussy

452
00:27:34,178 --> 00:27:37,762
a little bit. That right there is a soft yes. Okay.

453
00:27:37,826 --> 00:27:41,612
You know what I'm saying? So there's a few of those. There's.

454
00:27:41,676 --> 00:27:45,308
There's a few of those. Few of those. Yes. You are the situation.

455
00:27:45,484 --> 00:27:48,000
You need a shirt that says, I am the situation.

456
00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:53,420
Now, something we've talked about, something we've actually had an entire

457
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:57,356
episode on, is consent. If you're new to this lifestyle,

458
00:27:57,388 --> 00:28:00,380
you need to be very, very well versed in consent.

459
00:28:00,540 --> 00:28:04,396
Yes. You know, it's not just something. I mean, it should be applied

460
00:28:04,428 --> 00:28:08,320
in the vanilla world too, actually. But realistically, people seem

461
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:12,112
to think this common misconception that just because we're swingers,

462
00:28:12,256 --> 00:28:15,296
we Will sleep with anybody and everybody.

463
00:28:15,408 --> 00:28:18,704
Yeah. And so people will find out you're a

464
00:28:18,712 --> 00:28:22,220
swinger, and then some guy will be like, oh, let me grab her ass.

465
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,336
And it's like, no. Excuse me. You want to lose a limb? You don't

466
00:28:26,368 --> 00:28:30,176
do that. Yeah. Not without consent. Yeah. Just ask.

467
00:28:30,328 --> 00:28:33,800
That's all it takes. You just ask. Mm. You just ask. It's all good.

468
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,400
You'll get your yes or no. You know, most times what I found

469
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:41,320
out with you is that you think consent is so sexy. Most times

470
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:45,016
it's a yes. Even if you're not attracted to them, if they will

471
00:28:45,088 --> 00:28:48,408
ask, you'll most likely say yes. Because that's

472
00:28:48,424 --> 00:28:52,568
a sexy thing that they ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just depends.

473
00:28:52,664 --> 00:28:56,280
But then once somebody does it without consent, that turns you off so bad

474
00:28:56,320 --> 00:29:00,174
that they've lost any chance. That's rough. No chance.

475
00:29:00,302 --> 00:29:03,330
That is rough. Consent, guys. Yep.

476
00:29:03,670 --> 00:29:07,166
Very big deal. Very big deal. Now, there is community

477
00:29:07,238 --> 00:29:10,370
jargon that some of you may have heard,

478
00:29:10,710 --> 00:29:14,450
some of you may not. You'll hear us refer to vanilla.

479
00:29:15,350 --> 00:29:19,022
Vanilla is often referred to as those who are not in the lifestyle,

480
00:29:19,086 --> 00:29:22,254
maybe even not familiar with the lifestyle. Now, we were at a

481
00:29:22,262 --> 00:29:25,682
meet and greet last night, and there were. It was at

482
00:29:25,706 --> 00:29:28,802
a. What would be considered a vanilla bar. Yes.

483
00:29:28,866 --> 00:29:32,066
A bar that is not very lifestyle friendly. It's just a regular

484
00:29:32,098 --> 00:29:35,602
old bar. Yeah. There will be people there who are swingers. There will

485
00:29:35,626 --> 00:29:39,010
be people there who are not. Yes. And because of that,

486
00:29:39,050 --> 00:29:42,594
the people who are not swingers, they are what we consider vanilla.

487
00:29:42,722 --> 00:29:46,242
Vanilla. Vanilla. Which is just plain Jane.

488
00:29:46,306 --> 00:29:49,474
No, plain. It's just not a part of the lifestyle. Yeah. Not a part of

489
00:29:49,482 --> 00:29:52,434
the lifestyle. Not a part of the lifestyle. Now, you've heard me say newbie a

490
00:29:52,442 --> 00:29:55,672
few times. Yes. Newbie obviously is a new person to the

491
00:29:55,696 --> 00:29:59,128
lifestyle. As you can imagine, there are

492
00:29:59,184 --> 00:30:02,632
several out there, and there's people every day. What I'm noticing

493
00:30:02,696 --> 00:30:06,408
is this community is growing more and more,

494
00:30:06,544 --> 00:30:09,960
isn't it? As the years have gone by. It is. It's so awesome.

495
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:13,432
Compared to when we were first so awesome together. I felt like it was

496
00:30:13,456 --> 00:30:17,032
very small and very not inclusive. I did

497
00:30:17,056 --> 00:30:19,784
feel like there were a lot of clicks back then. It was. It was a

498
00:30:19,792 --> 00:30:22,980
lot harder to break down walls of friendship back then.

499
00:30:23,020 --> 00:30:26,260
I will agree for sure it was. And it could have been us,

500
00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:29,540
too. It could have been. I think it was a combination. We just weren't comfortable

501
00:30:29,620 --> 00:30:32,880
around them. But. Yeah, But I think at some point

502
00:30:33,340 --> 00:30:37,508
there was an. An inclusivity that. That ended up taking place

503
00:30:37,564 --> 00:30:40,452
and People said, you know what? This is more fun if we just open this

504
00:30:40,476 --> 00:30:44,308
up to people. And so I think that that

505
00:30:44,444 --> 00:30:47,732
kind of attitude, that attitude of, you know

506
00:30:47,756 --> 00:30:50,802
what? We can be friends. We don't have to sleep together. You know,

507
00:30:50,826 --> 00:30:54,082
I don't have to be attracted to be friends with somebody, that opens up the

508
00:30:54,106 --> 00:30:57,826
community so much more. And you get to learn about

509
00:30:57,898 --> 00:31:01,442
people. You get to really know people. And that

510
00:31:01,466 --> 00:31:04,978
I think is really, really cool. Something that I always

511
00:31:05,114 --> 00:31:08,690
like to bring up. Polyamory versus swinging

512
00:31:08,850 --> 00:31:12,338
is a thing. It's a thing. And as. As I say the word

513
00:31:12,434 --> 00:31:14,946
polyamory, I see your eyes just rolling.

514
00:31:15,058 --> 00:31:18,716
Polyamory. Yeah, yeah. We know you didn't

515
00:31:18,748 --> 00:31:22,204
like Molly. We got it. Yes.

516
00:31:22,332 --> 00:31:26,188
You're not a dater. You're transactional.

517
00:31:26,364 --> 00:31:29,644
We get it. Jeez. For those of

518
00:31:29,652 --> 00:31:33,276
you who don't know, polyamory is another form

519
00:31:33,348 --> 00:31:37,932
of non monogamy. Ethical. Ethical non monogamy,

520
00:31:38,076 --> 00:31:41,948
where you date others, you have

521
00:31:42,004 --> 00:31:46,044
more than one relationship, you have more than one love. That's exactly what polyamory

522
00:31:46,092 --> 00:31:49,160
means, as a matter of fact. Poly being more.

523
00:31:49,460 --> 00:31:52,812
More than one. More than one. And Amory love

524
00:31:52,916 --> 00:31:56,700
polyamory, so you have more than one loves. And so

525
00:31:56,740 --> 00:32:00,640
that is definitely more of a romantic aspect

526
00:32:00,980 --> 00:32:04,988
as opposed to swinging, which is more of a sexual aspect.

527
00:32:05,084 --> 00:32:09,052
Now, what I've noticed in this lifestyle,

528
00:32:09,116 --> 00:32:12,636
which I find kind of interesting, is there are a lot of people

529
00:32:12,708 --> 00:32:17,100
that have trouble separating sex

530
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,992
and love. I did. You did.

531
00:32:21,096 --> 00:32:24,352
Yeah. And there's still a lot of people out there, and that's always been one

532
00:32:24,376 --> 00:32:28,000
of your worries, is that I will have sex with somebody and

533
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,408
they will. That was one of my. That was one of my big worries and

534
00:32:31,464 --> 00:32:35,440
my big insecurity. Like, I just didn't. I wasn't.

535
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:39,328
I didn't like it. Yeah. But I have. I have worked

536
00:32:39,424 --> 00:32:43,104
through that. I am good. Isn't that nice? It is.

537
00:32:43,192 --> 00:32:46,800
That is nice. My honey boo boo ain't going nowhere. I'm not going

538
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,968
anywhere. Yeah, yeah, of course.

539
00:32:50,024 --> 00:32:54,176
I'm sticking around. Yeah, I am sticking around. What is that crossing?

540
00:32:54,288 --> 00:32:57,100
If you feed me, I will find you.

541
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,240
Yeah, man. Yeah. It's kind of scary.

542
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:06,212
Kind of scary, But I'm happy. I'm happy as he

543
00:33:06,236 --> 00:33:10,068
blinks. Yes, you are. As he blinks in Morse code to save me.

544
00:33:10,204 --> 00:33:12,840
And nobody's even saying this is sad.

545
00:33:14,380 --> 00:33:17,940
So, yeah, you know, that's. That's really one of the big

546
00:33:17,980 --> 00:33:21,124
ones was breaking down the polyamory from the

547
00:33:21,132 --> 00:33:24,740
swinging. Those are two very different lifestyles. Now there

548
00:33:24,780 --> 00:33:28,292
are polyamorous people that do incorporate the swinging

549
00:33:28,356 --> 00:33:31,604
aspect of it. Yes. Which is cool.

550
00:33:31,732 --> 00:33:35,180
I think that's pretty neat. I think it's cool that you can

551
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:39,136
date and be able to have your sexual

552
00:33:39,168 --> 00:33:41,740
lifestyle as well. Date several others.

553
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,360
I don't know. It seems, seems like an interesting idea. I think for the people

554
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,752
that can pull it off, they, they really are some strong personalities.

555
00:33:48,816 --> 00:33:52,448
Yeah. Yeah. And very organized. You have to be very organized

556
00:33:52,544 --> 00:33:56,304
to be poly because that shoot. Just to be, just to

557
00:33:56,312 --> 00:33:59,910
be swinging the way we do. I mean, we have, we have to keep a

558
00:33:59,950 --> 00:34:03,490
freaking calendar, a lifestyle calendar that we share

559
00:34:03,790 --> 00:34:07,062
and we have to constantly update it. We're going to this event on this

560
00:34:07,086 --> 00:34:10,662
day. We're going with this couple on this day. There's been

561
00:34:10,686 --> 00:34:14,950
times where we've double booked ourselves like this, this is while,

562
00:34:14,990 --> 00:34:18,950
this, while I've said the swinging lifestyle is not

563
00:34:19,070 --> 00:34:22,390
my priority over my relationship,

564
00:34:22,470 --> 00:34:26,598
it is definitely an important community to us. Oh, for sure.

565
00:34:26,734 --> 00:34:29,429
You know, equally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

566
00:34:30,169 --> 00:34:33,309
So I think that's, that's pretty cool. Now I,

567
00:34:33,609 --> 00:34:37,745
I, I, I'd like to talk a little bit about the

568
00:34:37,817 --> 00:34:41,681
slut phase. Okay. Now we, we've been talking

569
00:34:41,745 --> 00:34:45,457
about this a lot lately. You're, you're kind of experiencing your,

570
00:34:45,513 --> 00:34:48,881
your slut phase right now in life, right? I am.

571
00:34:49,065 --> 00:34:52,561
Internally at least. I don't think that you're really being slutty.

572
00:34:52,705 --> 00:34:56,177
No, you're, you're kind of working your way to it.

573
00:34:56,233 --> 00:34:59,374
Yeah. Right. Yeah. But there's a want there.

574
00:34:59,462 --> 00:35:02,894
Yes. So you, you, you kind of want to

575
00:35:02,902 --> 00:35:06,718
be that slutty person. I do. Yeah. Now I

576
00:35:06,774 --> 00:35:10,462
feel like the community is kind of half and

577
00:35:10,486 --> 00:35:14,158
half on this. Okay. Half of the community is

578
00:35:14,214 --> 00:35:17,742
totally okay with everybody being slutty. And you can

579
00:35:17,766 --> 00:35:21,694
go from flower to flower like a little sex bee and

580
00:35:21,782 --> 00:35:25,022
do this and do that and have your fun. Because that's what this is

581
00:35:25,046 --> 00:35:28,002
about, Right. You're having that sexual freedom. You're having that fun.

582
00:35:28,086 --> 00:35:31,946
Yes. The other half of the community will

583
00:35:32,018 --> 00:35:35,098
see somebody who appears to be playing

584
00:35:35,154 --> 00:35:38,790
around a lot with different people and go, I'm not interested in that.

585
00:35:39,170 --> 00:35:43,018
I don't want somebody who's going from flower to flower.

586
00:35:43,194 --> 00:35:46,522
And how, but how do they know it's actually intercourse happening? Well,

587
00:35:46,546 --> 00:35:49,354
see, that's the question. Nobody really knows.

588
00:35:49,402 --> 00:35:53,002
Nobody. It's speculation. Yeah. Because most times it's considered

589
00:35:53,066 --> 00:35:57,410
uncouth to talk about your

590
00:35:58,030 --> 00:36:01,238
sexual conquests. Yeah. Or people you've slept with.

591
00:36:01,294 --> 00:36:04,550
That's, I mean, I'm very indifferent about that. Are you,

592
00:36:04,590 --> 00:36:08,486
do you think that it's a good idea to disclose? I don't

593
00:36:08,518 --> 00:36:12,390
know. I mean, I think if somebody asks if

594
00:36:12,430 --> 00:36:14,890
somebody asked about us. Yeah.

595
00:36:15,390 --> 00:36:18,758
And we found out they asked about us,

596
00:36:18,814 --> 00:36:22,714
I'd be like, that's kind of hot. Because I know the experience.

597
00:36:22,882 --> 00:36:25,642
Because I know the experience was good. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

598
00:36:25,706 --> 00:36:28,714
Yeah. Sorry, but you left with a smile.

599
00:36:28,842 --> 00:36:31,674
Well, you know, the thing about it is, is that there's a lot of assumptions

600
00:36:31,722 --> 00:36:35,802
that are made. Yeah. I've noticed that people assume

601
00:36:35,866 --> 00:36:39,290
that we. You and I. That we sleep with a lot of

602
00:36:39,330 --> 00:36:43,322
people because we hang out with a lot of people.

603
00:36:43,506 --> 00:36:46,874
And that's funny. We're. We're affectionate

604
00:36:46,922 --> 00:36:50,598
with our friends, and we're flirty with our friends, and we'll,

605
00:36:50,694 --> 00:36:53,250
you know, make little comments and this and that.

606
00:36:53,630 --> 00:36:57,398
And I will say, you know what? I am a fan of the kissing.

607
00:36:57,574 --> 00:37:01,302
I like to kiss. And I'll be at a

608
00:37:01,326 --> 00:37:04,134
place and I'll find somebody, and I'll end up making out with them for a

609
00:37:04,142 --> 00:37:07,366
little bit or I'll make out with somebody else. It's. It's kissing. It's fun.

610
00:37:07,438 --> 00:37:10,662
You know what I mean? Does that mean that I've slept with them? No.

611
00:37:10,766 --> 00:37:13,830
Yeah. No. No. And. And there's a lot of people that

612
00:37:13,950 --> 00:37:17,024
I think assume that we sleep with a

613
00:37:17,032 --> 00:37:19,984
lot of our friends. And. And. And we really don't. Nope.

614
00:37:20,112 --> 00:37:23,520
But we also don't disclose that. And that's the.

615
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:27,340
That's the funny thing that. That we don't know

616
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,976
if. Is it ethical? Is it not ethical?

617
00:37:31,088 --> 00:37:34,368
You know, like, there's certain people that you're very close to.

618
00:37:34,424 --> 00:37:38,400
You know, you trust, you love, and you

619
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:42,176
know that you can talk about stuff like that and it stays

620
00:37:42,208 --> 00:37:46,272
there. Yeah. But you're outing somebody else,

621
00:37:46,336 --> 00:37:49,712
and maybe they're discreet about it, or they don't want anybody to know who

622
00:37:49,736 --> 00:37:53,872
they're sleeping with. You know? What if it was a

623
00:37:53,896 --> 00:37:57,500
bad experience? Yeah. I mean,

624
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,920
I would like to be full war. Well, see, that's the thing,

625
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,420
though. I mean, I know you're gonna. But if. If somebody tells you,

626
00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:08,462
say we're with a couple that is a good friend of ours.

627
00:38:08,526 --> 00:38:12,094
Okay. And somebody comes up in conversation,

628
00:38:12,142 --> 00:38:15,502
and this somebody that came up is somebody that you've been wanting to for a

629
00:38:15,526 --> 00:38:19,198
long time. Okay. And you're just about close to sealing

630
00:38:19,214 --> 00:38:21,850
the deal. Like, you're about to make this happen,

631
00:38:22,150 --> 00:38:24,878
and you're talking to this couple that you're close to, and they're like, oh,

632
00:38:24,894 --> 00:38:28,462
yeah, we had fun with that person, or we. We had an experience

633
00:38:28,566 --> 00:38:31,950
with that person. And you're like, well, how did it go? And they told you,

634
00:38:32,070 --> 00:38:35,690
oh, well, he was okay, but he just. He really couldn't get his

635
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:38,590
dick hard because he was. He was doing a lot of cocaine,

636
00:38:39,010 --> 00:38:41,978
you know, which apparently is a thing. Yeah.

637
00:38:42,074 --> 00:38:45,642
Nope. So then, boom. Nope, Done. Thank you. You just

638
00:38:45,666 --> 00:38:48,490
gave up. You just walked away from it, right?

639
00:38:48,530 --> 00:38:51,786
Yes. Now, so that right there, fine.

640
00:38:51,898 --> 00:38:55,130
But what if they said, yeah, you know, he just wasn't very good, he had

641
00:38:55,170 --> 00:38:58,570
trouble keeping his dick hard, didn't say for any reason why,

642
00:38:58,690 --> 00:39:02,166
but that it just wasn't a good experience, blah, blah, blah. So now

643
00:39:02,238 --> 00:39:06,470
you're going to go into this situation with this negative mentality.

644
00:39:06,630 --> 00:39:10,582
You're going to be looking for this negative experience. You think,

645
00:39:10,686 --> 00:39:13,254
yeah, man. You do it all the time. Well, I mean, you do it all

646
00:39:13,262 --> 00:39:16,454
the time. When. Whenever you have something negative planted in your head, you're going to

647
00:39:16,462 --> 00:39:19,654
walk into something with that negative thought. Yeah. You're not going to walk into it

648
00:39:19,662 --> 00:39:22,166
with a clean slate going, oh, this is going to be a great experience.

649
00:39:22,318 --> 00:39:25,862
You're going to have it in your head that this is probably going to

650
00:39:25,886 --> 00:39:29,670
suck because my friends had this bad experience. And it's different for

651
00:39:29,710 --> 00:39:33,174
everybody. It is. There have been guys who have slept

652
00:39:33,222 --> 00:39:36,630
with you who have had so much difficulty

653
00:39:36,710 --> 00:39:41,238
operating their own peace because they are intimidated

654
00:39:41,334 --> 00:39:44,822
by you. Yeah, I know. Which I find incredible.

655
00:39:44,966 --> 00:39:48,070
Either because they're afraid you're going to get pissed off at them because

656
00:39:48,110 --> 00:39:51,830
you look pissed off, or they're. They think you're too hot for them or

657
00:39:51,870 --> 00:39:56,166
whatever it is. There is an intimidation factor,

658
00:39:56,358 --> 00:39:59,720
and all of a sudden they can't get hard. Well, then what happens when

659
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,112
they can't get hard? You don't smile about it. I am

660
00:40:03,136 --> 00:40:07,128
nice. No, no, you are nice. No, but I'm saying. Exactly. But you're.

661
00:40:07,224 --> 00:40:10,552
You're looking at them like, are. Are you. Can you

662
00:40:10,576 --> 00:40:13,848
do this? You know, and. Which I'm sure makes it even more

663
00:40:13,904 --> 00:40:17,432
intimidating. Yeah. You know, and it's got to be tough. It's got to be tough.

664
00:40:17,496 --> 00:40:20,824
Yeah. So, you know, that's just one of those things where it's.

665
00:40:20,872 --> 00:40:24,968
It's different from person to person. Yeah. So can you really

666
00:40:25,104 --> 00:40:29,016
disclose. Should you really disclose your

667
00:40:29,088 --> 00:40:32,776
experiences with other people? I think it's okay if it, if it's

668
00:40:32,808 --> 00:40:37,240
a community situation, like if there's a. An actual harm

669
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:40,296
that could come about. Sure. You know what I mean?

670
00:40:40,368 --> 00:40:43,620
Yeah. If there's something serious that could come up

671
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,512
that really needs to be discussed, you know, you kind of

672
00:40:47,536 --> 00:40:50,248
need to bring it up it is what it is. Yeah. You know, in.

673
00:40:50,304 --> 00:40:54,260
In a situation like that, it's better to discuss it

674
00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:58,124
up front and save your friend some sort of despair

675
00:40:58,172 --> 00:41:01,868
or whatever. If it's a serious situation.

676
00:41:01,964 --> 00:41:05,372
Now, if it's something like they were being petty or whatever. Well, you know,

677
00:41:05,396 --> 00:41:09,068
that small panty Annie stuff, you don't have to go through it with that.

678
00:41:09,124 --> 00:41:12,428
Yeah, yeah. But, you know, kind of

679
00:41:12,564 --> 00:41:16,124
heading back into the whole slut phase

680
00:41:16,252 --> 00:41:20,230
that we were talking about. I really find

681
00:41:20,270 --> 00:41:25,014
it interesting the. The. The two different dynamics,

682
00:41:25,062 --> 00:41:28,502
the two different sides of it. Me, personally,

683
00:41:28,566 --> 00:41:32,370
I am big into sexual freedom. I think I've said it a lot. You know,

684
00:41:32,670 --> 00:41:36,502
I enjoy this lifestyle for the sheer fact that,

685
00:41:36,606 --> 00:41:40,486
you know, that sexual freedom, being able to find somebody that I connect

686
00:41:40,518 --> 00:41:44,646
with and that I enjoy having sex with and be able to do that with

687
00:41:44,718 --> 00:41:48,578
whomever I want is a nice aspect of this

688
00:41:48,634 --> 00:41:51,954
lifestyle. But I

689
00:41:52,122 --> 00:41:55,666
certainly wouldn't want to know that I'm

690
00:41:55,698 --> 00:41:58,754
being judged off of the fact

691
00:41:58,842 --> 00:42:02,802
that I am connecting with others.

692
00:42:02,986 --> 00:42:06,466
Right. You know what I mean? Of course not. Yeah. And I mean,

693
00:42:06,538 --> 00:42:08,910
honestly, you're in the lifestyle. Like,

694
00:42:09,290 --> 00:42:13,858
there's people that have sex with different people every

695
00:42:13,914 --> 00:42:17,330
weekend, and we're all adults here, man. I mean, this is

696
00:42:17,370 --> 00:42:21,010
like. This is what we're in this for. Sorry, guys, but I am totally

697
00:42:21,090 --> 00:42:24,514
trying to be in my hoe phase. You know, I'm not gonna.

698
00:42:24,642 --> 00:42:27,330
That's the thing about it is how are you gonna be in the lifestyle and

699
00:42:27,370 --> 00:42:31,042
be slut shamed? I've seen it a billion times.

700
00:42:31,226 --> 00:42:34,274
How are you gonna slut shame someone if we're

701
00:42:34,322 --> 00:42:37,826
in this lifestyle for sex? Yeah. I have seen

702
00:42:37,898 --> 00:42:41,700
people judge and make judgy faces

703
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,552
when either of us have spoken about wanting to

704
00:42:45,576 --> 00:42:48,544
have sex with somebody. Yeah. And it's like,

705
00:42:48,712 --> 00:42:51,872
ugh. Like, how many different people are you gonna sleep with?

706
00:42:51,896 --> 00:42:55,008
And it's like, well, first off, I didn't say I was sleeping with him.

707
00:42:55,064 --> 00:42:59,008
Yeah. Second of all, I said I wanted to sleep with him. And third off,

708
00:42:59,144 --> 00:43:02,624
how is that your place to judge? I mean, you know,

709
00:43:02,712 --> 00:43:06,652
I'm trying to do a hundred. This is a life. This is a lifestyle that's

710
00:43:06,736 --> 00:43:10,020
based off of sex. Yeah. You should not judge and wants,

711
00:43:10,100 --> 00:43:13,652
you know, there should be no judgment there whether.

712
00:43:13,836 --> 00:43:16,980
Whether there's a couple that maybe is going about

713
00:43:17,020 --> 00:43:20,292
it very slowly. And that's another place where

714
00:43:20,316 --> 00:43:24,020
I've seen people judge if there's a couple that's really

715
00:43:24,060 --> 00:43:27,332
trying to take their time and they're going in baby steps.

716
00:43:27,476 --> 00:43:31,220
I've seen people tell me, oh, you Know, we're, we're new to this lifestyle

717
00:43:31,300 --> 00:43:34,402
and we try to take baby steps and we're going into it real slow.

718
00:43:34,556 --> 00:43:38,130
And because we're not jumping in the sack with people right away,

719
00:43:38,510 --> 00:43:42,310
people are mean and they will just kind

720
00:43:42,350 --> 00:43:45,782
of leave us to our own. You know, they, they won't. You know,

721
00:43:45,806 --> 00:43:49,046
they'll talk to us a little bit and then they'll realize we're not gonna sleep

722
00:43:49,078 --> 00:43:52,166
with them right away and they'll disappear on us, of course.

723
00:43:52,238 --> 00:43:55,782
And so that's the other area of judgment. It's like

724
00:43:55,886 --> 00:43:59,670
there's two sides of this. You're gonna be judged whether you're sleeping with everybody.

725
00:43:59,750 --> 00:44:03,370
Right. Or you're gonna be judged if you're not sleeping with anybody. Yeah. You know,

726
00:44:03,410 --> 00:44:07,002
and it's like, last I checked, it takes a while to

727
00:44:07,026 --> 00:44:10,442
get used to. Yes. Being in the

728
00:44:10,466 --> 00:44:13,562
lifestyle and sleeping with other people and doing this whole thing. I mean,

729
00:44:13,586 --> 00:44:17,178
it's not anything that comes natural. No. But yeah,

730
00:44:17,194 --> 00:44:20,778
I am totally trying to be in my slip phase.

731
00:44:20,954 --> 00:44:24,186
And, you know, it's something that we've talked about. I've always wanted to be with

732
00:44:24,258 --> 00:44:27,354
a woman who was slutty. I know. And it's a

733
00:44:27,362 --> 00:44:31,428
turn on to me, the idea that we can be at an event and

734
00:44:31,484 --> 00:44:35,012
my wife can be going from person to person and just kind of flocking from

735
00:44:35,036 --> 00:44:38,372
here to there and flirting and this and that. And me being able

736
00:44:38,396 --> 00:44:42,020
to do the same thing and have women come up to me and have that

737
00:44:42,060 --> 00:44:45,200
banter back and forth is kind of

738
00:44:45,500 --> 00:44:49,188
a turn on. Yeah, it's not kind of. It is a turn

739
00:44:49,244 --> 00:44:52,960
on. Yeah. Yeah. And I like,

740
00:44:53,420 --> 00:44:56,848
I like my wife being slutty. Yeah. I like

741
00:44:56,904 --> 00:45:01,120
my wife being. Just throw caution

742
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:05,664
to the wind. I want to have some fun. I'm wet

743
00:45:05,712 --> 00:45:08,832
right now and I really want to get fingered on the dance floor by some

744
00:45:08,856 --> 00:45:11,500
stranger. Like, shit like that. I'm like,

745
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,500
yes. You know what I mean? Like, wow,

746
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,464
that sounds like a lot of fun. Let's. Let's do that. Sounds like

747
00:45:18,472 --> 00:45:21,180
a lot. Or, or the idea of, you know,

748
00:45:21,570 --> 00:45:25,066
picking up a friend of ours and you two getting it on in the backseat

749
00:45:25,098 --> 00:45:28,138
while I drive around town. You know what I mean? Stuff like that.

750
00:45:28,194 --> 00:45:31,738
Like, that's hot. And I enjoy stuff like that.

751
00:45:31,794 --> 00:45:35,514
Yeah. But I also, I enjoy watching

752
00:45:35,562 --> 00:45:39,194
you get pleasure. But I also enjoy getting mine too.

753
00:45:39,282 --> 00:45:43,290
Yes. And I like having my fun. I like having my connections with

754
00:45:43,330 --> 00:45:46,570
different women and, and being able to share that with you,

755
00:45:46,610 --> 00:45:49,948
but also having my one on one fun. Like the whole thing,

756
00:45:50,004 --> 00:45:53,148
the whole aspect of it is great. Now,

757
00:45:53,204 --> 00:45:56,120
am I having sex as often as I'd like? No,

758
00:45:57,220 --> 00:46:00,748
same. I mean, we're having sex, you and I. Obviously, we have.

759
00:46:00,804 --> 00:46:04,280
We have a very healthy sex life. And right now it's at.

760
00:46:04,820 --> 00:46:08,252
It kind of fluctuates. And right now it's at its peak. It is at its

761
00:46:08,276 --> 00:46:11,980
peak. Like we're having. Yeah. This week we're having lots and lots of

762
00:46:12,020 --> 00:46:15,144
sex daily. Yeah. And. And Ari.

763
00:46:15,292 --> 00:46:18,432
Yeah. Our age be getting crazy. Yeah.

764
00:46:18,496 --> 00:46:21,056
And let me tell you, you know, I mean, people think I'm full of crap.

765
00:46:21,088 --> 00:46:24,192
And I'm like, no, we have sex at least four times a day. Yeah.

766
00:46:24,336 --> 00:46:27,680
Sometimes more. And it's because I just can't get enough

767
00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:30,300
of you. I mean, if you've seen her,

768
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,840
you'd understand. This woman wears these

769
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,820
yoga pants and I'm just like, oh, my God, she's bending over again

770
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,776
and she looks so friggin hot. Of course I'm gonna be turned on. I'm gonna

771
00:46:41,808 --> 00:46:45,152
want some. Hey, I always want you. Yeah. I mean, so that's why it works.

772
00:46:45,216 --> 00:46:48,780
So we have a. Yeah. But would I

773
00:46:48,820 --> 00:46:51,964
like to be having regular sex fun with.

774
00:46:52,052 --> 00:46:55,324
With different people? Absolutely. Right. Because it's hot.

775
00:46:55,412 --> 00:46:59,420
That's the. That's hot. That's the idea. Yeah, that's hot. And ideally,

776
00:46:59,500 --> 00:47:03,292
I would like to build this circle of friends, just this close

777
00:47:03,396 --> 00:47:06,492
circle of friends that we are comfortable

778
00:47:06,556 --> 00:47:10,460
with, that we trust and know and feel

779
00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:14,092
good about, that we can enjoy together as a couple, but we can

780
00:47:14,116 --> 00:47:17,806
also enjoy separately and just have fun with whenever

781
00:47:17,838 --> 00:47:21,294
we want to have fun. You know, let's go dancing, let's go have dinner.

782
00:47:21,342 --> 00:47:24,010
Let's go have some sex. You know what I mean?

783
00:47:24,390 --> 00:47:27,774
That kind of dynamic is. Is great.

784
00:47:27,862 --> 00:47:30,350
It's nice. Yeah. And I don't want to feel. I don't want to be made

785
00:47:30,390 --> 00:47:33,806
to feel like. For Boo Boo. What are we here for?

786
00:47:33,878 --> 00:47:37,422
Boo Boo. You do you. Yeah, that's right.

787
00:47:37,526 --> 00:47:40,702
Well, I'm just saying, you know, I mean, I. For. For it being such

788
00:47:40,726 --> 00:47:44,234
an open. Sometimes community people. There's a lot

789
00:47:44,242 --> 00:47:47,070
of judgment. Yeah, there's a lot of judgment. Yeah.

790
00:47:47,490 --> 00:47:51,242
And it's. It's difficult to be educated. They need

791
00:47:51,266 --> 00:47:54,586
to be educated. But also, you know, I. I think it's really.

792
00:47:54,658 --> 00:47:57,530
It's a lot of. You just need to cool out,

793
00:47:57,570 --> 00:48:01,370
man. You just need to accept everybody for what they

794
00:48:01,410 --> 00:48:04,874
are and for who they are and don't judge, man. You know,

795
00:48:04,962 --> 00:48:08,492
if it's not for you, it's not for you, and that's cool. Yes. And if

796
00:48:08,516 --> 00:48:11,468
it is for you. Hey, join in and have a good time. I'll be wearing

797
00:48:11,484 --> 00:48:14,844
my little slut badge. You know, there's nothing

798
00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:18,760
wrong with that. That's right. There's nothing wrong with that. I, you know, I like

799
00:48:19,300 --> 00:48:22,860
that whole idea. You know, you don't. You don't have

800
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:26,280
to be overtly slutty in. In public,

801
00:48:26,900 --> 00:48:30,364
but there are certain ways to be,

802
00:48:30,452 --> 00:48:33,852
certain times that you can act, certain ways, and it's like,

803
00:48:33,876 --> 00:48:37,256
dude, go for it, man. I've been telling you for years, hey,

804
00:48:37,288 --> 00:48:40,568
you have the golden ticket. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want

805
00:48:40,624 --> 00:48:44,632
to whomever you want. I know. And it's. It's all good.

806
00:48:44,736 --> 00:48:47,432
Like, you don't. You don't even have to check in with me. Like, you can

807
00:48:47,456 --> 00:48:51,736
do your thing. And I think, for the most part, I have the same ability.

808
00:48:51,848 --> 00:48:55,960
Yeah. But it's hard because

809
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:59,464
you don't want to do that with strangers. Yeah. You don't want to

810
00:48:59,472 --> 00:49:03,632
have that aspect with strangers. You want to be able to have people

811
00:49:03,816 --> 00:49:07,104
on the roster that I know and trust, or I want to

812
00:49:07,112 --> 00:49:10,640
have people on my roster that you know and trust because it's that

813
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:14,160
much easier. You know, I don't want to be worrying about who you're traipsing around

814
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,872
with. Yes. And who you could get in trouble with. You know,

815
00:49:18,056 --> 00:49:22,848
so. Yeah, that's. But I. I'm really enjoying this

816
00:49:22,984 --> 00:49:26,640
slut phase that you're in and that I feel like I'm in.

817
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:30,402
You know, 2025 is. Is confident Adam.

818
00:49:30,466 --> 00:49:33,150
Confident Adam in 2025. That's what it is.

819
00:49:33,770 --> 00:49:37,470
And I will tell you. I'm feeling confident. I'm feeling good.

820
00:49:37,770 --> 00:49:41,298
I'm feeling good. Yeah. I'm feeling good. I have met some very

821
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:44,770
lovely ladies. Yes. Who have expressed some very good

822
00:49:44,810 --> 00:49:48,034
interest in me. Yes. And they make me blush and smile, which is kind of

823
00:49:48,042 --> 00:49:51,666
cool, because I'm like, okay, there's somebody other than my wife who wants a piece

824
00:49:51,698 --> 00:49:55,650
of this. By all means, let's talk.

825
00:49:55,770 --> 00:49:58,452
Yeah. You know what I mean? And so it's a. It's just a lot of

826
00:49:58,476 --> 00:50:00,760
fun. It's really a boost to the ego. Yeah.

827
00:50:01,420 --> 00:50:05,284
I feel like 2024 was a. A difficulty

828
00:50:05,332 --> 00:50:09,156
for me because I was really kind of dealing with new

829
00:50:09,228 --> 00:50:13,844
feelings of having people express

830
00:50:13,932 --> 00:50:16,436
interest in me. And I kind of was like,

831
00:50:16,588 --> 00:50:19,924
why? Yeah, why are you interested in me? I don't understand.

832
00:50:20,012 --> 00:50:23,780
Yeah. And so that was a real internal conflict, and it really

833
00:50:23,900 --> 00:50:27,110
brought out more of a self esteem issue.

834
00:50:27,410 --> 00:50:30,570
And so really looking at it, and I think you and I Had a good

835
00:50:30,610 --> 00:50:33,690
conversation about it. And you were like, dude, confidence is sexy.

836
00:50:33,770 --> 00:50:37,242
Yeah, you gotta have confidence. And so I was like, well,

837
00:50:37,266 --> 00:50:40,870
fuck it. I'm gonna fake it till I make it. And so I. I really.

838
00:50:41,330 --> 00:50:44,698
If you're at an event with me and

839
00:50:44,754 --> 00:50:48,362
we're talking and I'm like, hey, do you see how good I

840
00:50:48,386 --> 00:50:51,722
look? You know, you've heard me say before, I'll tell people. I'll be like,

841
00:50:51,746 --> 00:50:54,558
you see me? Look at this. I put this together. I'm looking good. You know,

842
00:50:54,674 --> 00:50:58,038
I know I'm looking like the money now. I do that.

843
00:50:58,174 --> 00:51:02,038
I do that. And I'm not. I'm not a cocky person. I'm not

844
00:51:02,094 --> 00:51:05,622
one of those people. No, I do it in a joking way, but at the

845
00:51:05,646 --> 00:51:08,806
same time, I also do it because I'm trying. It's that whole

846
00:51:08,838 --> 00:51:12,650
fake it till you make it. Yeah. I'm trying to fake my confidence

847
00:51:12,990 --> 00:51:16,550
to where it gives me that extra added boost where

848
00:51:16,590 --> 00:51:20,368
I can really shine through. Right. And feel

849
00:51:20,424 --> 00:51:23,680
confident enough to make a move on the pretty girl,

850
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:27,344
you know, or. Or let her know I'm interested,

851
00:51:27,472 --> 00:51:30,768
that sort of thing. Which has always, in previous times,

852
00:51:30,824 --> 00:51:34,656
been a very difficult conversation for me to have to tell somebody

853
00:51:34,688 --> 00:51:38,496
that I'm interested in them. Because it's

854
00:51:38,528 --> 00:51:41,728
one of those things where you automatically think

855
00:51:41,784 --> 00:51:45,104
a no is coming before you even asked anything. Right?

856
00:51:45,192 --> 00:51:48,638
Right. And so the way you word it is

857
00:51:48,694 --> 00:51:52,382
almost putting yourself down. That's the way I would do it. Okay.

858
00:51:52,446 --> 00:51:55,614
So it's like, you know, I just wanted to let you know I'm. I'm interested.

859
00:51:55,662 --> 00:51:58,718
I know that you're probably not interested. I know I'm not on your level,

860
00:51:58,774 --> 00:52:02,094
but, you know, I just wanted to throw myself out there. And realistically,

861
00:52:02,142 --> 00:52:04,926
you don't even have to say anything. Like, I would prefer it if you didn't

862
00:52:04,958 --> 00:52:08,254
say anything about it, because I'm pretty sure you're not interested. And you won't want

863
00:52:08,262 --> 00:52:10,654
to say this, but I just wanted to throw that out there. Oh, my God.

864
00:52:10,702 --> 00:52:13,910
Oh, dude. Yeah. No, I was. I'm broken. I'm broken.

865
00:52:15,370 --> 00:52:19,330
So, like, that was kind of. It was very Jerry Lewis. Like, like, it just.

866
00:52:19,450 --> 00:52:22,290
Just a bunch of not. That's why no. 1.

867
00:52:22,410 --> 00:52:25,682
Richard Lewis. Not Jerry Lewis. It was very, very Richard Lewis. It's just

868
00:52:25,706 --> 00:52:29,138
like, I. I would just go on this rant of, like,

869
00:52:29,194 --> 00:52:32,242
I. You know, I don't even know how I'm going to say this to you,

870
00:52:32,266 --> 00:52:35,362
but realistically, this is something that I'm interested in, and I

871
00:52:35,386 --> 00:52:39,010
would say that I'm Interested in you. But I wouldn't specify that I wanted to

872
00:52:39,050 --> 00:52:42,532
play with you. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so now I'm starting to

873
00:52:42,556 --> 00:52:46,068
realize, you know, that's kind of a necessity to speak on. Like, that's a,

874
00:52:46,124 --> 00:52:49,460
that's an important detail. Yeah. And so now

875
00:52:49,580 --> 00:52:52,996
I express my interest. I, I make it real clear. Look, I,

876
00:52:53,068 --> 00:52:56,084
I like you. Yeah. I like the person that you are. I'd like to get

877
00:52:56,092 --> 00:52:59,636
to know you better. But I also find you really attractive, and I would really

878
00:52:59,708 --> 00:53:03,076
like to play with you at some point. There you go. If that's something you're

879
00:53:03,108 --> 00:53:06,228
interested in. Yeah. And that's something that we can always talk about later if you're

880
00:53:06,244 --> 00:53:10,116
interested in it. Yeah. Now I've, I, If I've ever said that it's

881
00:53:10,148 --> 00:53:14,080
gone well. It's gone well. It's been. It's the direct.

882
00:53:14,540 --> 00:53:18,164
I don't like keeping people guessing, so I do. If I'm. If I'm going

883
00:53:18,172 --> 00:53:20,772
to be interested in somebody, I'm going to make it real known that I'm interested.

884
00:53:20,836 --> 00:53:23,796
Yeah. Because they should like that. Yeah.

885
00:53:23,828 --> 00:53:27,284
I would like to know if somebody's interested ahead of time.

886
00:53:27,452 --> 00:53:30,772
Because then I know it's okay to flirt. I know it's okay to say

887
00:53:30,796 --> 00:53:33,908
this and that and the other. Yeah. And so I don't like to keep people

888
00:53:33,964 --> 00:53:37,220
guessing. So if there's somebody out there that I am off the bat interested in,

889
00:53:37,260 --> 00:53:41,322
I make it real clear I'm interested in you. Yeah. And you

890
00:53:41,346 --> 00:53:44,042
don't have to be interested in me. That's totally cool. And we can be friends

891
00:53:44,066 --> 00:53:47,162
and all that stuff. But I just want you to know that this is how

892
00:53:47,186 --> 00:53:51,306
I feel and this is what I'm interested in. And we can

893
00:53:51,378 --> 00:53:55,002
see where it goes from here if you're interested, too. Yeah.

894
00:53:55,146 --> 00:53:59,050
And that directness has really gone well. So if

895
00:53:59,090 --> 00:54:02,442
there's anything that you can take away from this is that maybe you

896
00:54:02,466 --> 00:54:05,798
should be direct. Be direct. Be direct with all the people.

897
00:54:05,934 --> 00:54:09,382
I mean, realistically, just be direct. It sounds like

898
00:54:09,406 --> 00:54:13,030
an embarrassing and scary concept. You did a,

899
00:54:13,150 --> 00:54:16,614
a post recently about. I did.

900
00:54:16,702 --> 00:54:20,054
About, you know, how, how to, to really speak

901
00:54:20,102 --> 00:54:23,462
on. Yeah. People and things like that and putting yourself out

902
00:54:23,486 --> 00:54:26,934
there. And a lot of people said the same thing, that they don't put themselves

903
00:54:26,982 --> 00:54:30,774
out there because of rejection. And mine was the same thing. Yeah. I don't like

904
00:54:30,782 --> 00:54:33,062
to be rejected. I don't want to take that chance of being rejected. For me,

905
00:54:33,086 --> 00:54:36,422
it's not the rejection. No. No. What is it? For me,

906
00:54:36,446 --> 00:54:39,430
it's the. I Don't know the dynamic.

907
00:54:39,510 --> 00:54:42,422
Okay. Like, right off the bat, like, do I ask you,

908
00:54:42,606 --> 00:54:46,182
Do I ask the woman? Well, now, is this in a group chat?

909
00:54:46,246 --> 00:54:49,590
Like, what's the situation there? This is just. If it's a group

910
00:54:49,630 --> 00:54:53,110
chat. No, like one on one. Like just one on one.

911
00:54:53,150 --> 00:54:56,134
Just a woman or a guy. And I'm like, do I approach her? Do I

912
00:54:56,142 --> 00:54:59,730
approach him? Well, I think most women expect the

913
00:54:59,770 --> 00:55:03,602
woman to approach the woman. Yeah, I think that's

914
00:55:03,666 --> 00:55:07,122
normally the case. Do you? I think so.

915
00:55:07,226 --> 00:55:10,674
Now, I will tell you, initially, when we first started in these groups, and I

916
00:55:10,682 --> 00:55:14,098
think I've said this before, there was a. I ran into a lot

917
00:55:14,154 --> 00:55:17,362
of couples that would say, well, it. No,

918
00:55:17,546 --> 00:55:20,674
no opposite sex communication. If you're going to talk,

919
00:55:20,842 --> 00:55:23,778
the male talks to the male, the woman talks to the woman. So you reach

920
00:55:23,834 --> 00:55:27,442
out to the, to the man. I would always be told, reach out to my

921
00:55:27,466 --> 00:55:31,022
husband. Okay. Yes. I don't run into that so much anymore.

922
00:55:31,166 --> 00:55:34,318
And as a matter of fact, I, I get a lot of women who reach

923
00:55:34,374 --> 00:55:38,078
out to me. Yeah. From a couple standpoint, the woman

924
00:55:38,134 --> 00:55:41,854
will reach out to me, and very rarely does the husband

925
00:55:41,902 --> 00:55:45,438
reach out to me. Yeah, very rarely. Now it does happen. It's like, it's rare.

926
00:55:45,534 --> 00:55:48,638
Do you. Are they just looking for you? I don't

927
00:55:48,654 --> 00:55:52,158
know. Confusing. That is confusing. So most

928
00:55:52,214 --> 00:55:55,598
of the time it's not the case. Because if I reach, If I'm

929
00:55:55,614 --> 00:55:59,866
reaching out to a couple. Yeah, I'm reaching out because I want the couple.

930
00:55:59,978 --> 00:56:03,610
Right. So that's where. I don't know. I. The way I

931
00:56:03,650 --> 00:56:07,002
take it is most of the time, if a woman reaches out to

932
00:56:07,026 --> 00:56:10,550
me, it's because she's interested in me.

933
00:56:10,930 --> 00:56:14,362
And if a woman's more interested in you, she'll reach out to

934
00:56:14,386 --> 00:56:17,738
you. You know what I mean? Now, there are certain

935
00:56:17,794 --> 00:56:21,466
occasions, and I've spoken to some, but then they ask. You your dynamic

936
00:56:21,658 --> 00:56:25,040
and it all changes. Does it all change? I mean,

937
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:29,136
yeah, I mean, some, some women that reach out to me, they have a similar

938
00:56:29,208 --> 00:56:33,264
dynamic. Yeah, but they, but they don't have the

939
00:56:33,352 --> 00:56:36,880
oh, well, we have to have a group chat kind of situation. Like, they,

940
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:40,272
they're able to be autonomous, they're able to talk independently and

941
00:56:40,296 --> 00:56:43,840
that sort of thing and express interest in that Gotcha. Kind of

942
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:48,380
what we have. Gotcha. But there are some

943
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:52,276
couples where they're big into what's respectful

944
00:56:52,308 --> 00:56:55,748
and what's not respectful. And it's like, well, if you're gonna, if you're gonna

945
00:56:55,764 --> 00:56:58,708
show interest and you want to be with the couple, then you should reach out

946
00:56:58,764 --> 00:57:02,132
to the same sex and

947
00:57:02,156 --> 00:57:05,172
that would be respectful. Now, what do you feel about that? What do you think

948
00:57:05,196 --> 00:57:08,260
about that? I think if you.

949
00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:12,276
Yeah. If you want the couple. Yeah. You should reach out to the same sex.

950
00:57:12,428 --> 00:57:16,238
Yeah. Yeah. Why is that? Because if

951
00:57:16,294 --> 00:57:19,966
it's a couple, most likely it's

952
00:57:19,998 --> 00:57:23,262
going to be the woman that's going to make the decision. Well, I mean,

953
00:57:23,286 --> 00:57:26,542
that's an assumption. I mean, it is for us. It is

954
00:57:26,566 --> 00:57:29,390
for us, but what we do is not the same thing as every other.

955
00:57:29,510 --> 00:57:33,182
But I'm. You're asking my opinion? Well, no, I'm just saying. Yeah, I mean,

956
00:57:33,366 --> 00:57:36,302
I think. I mean, for.

957
00:57:36,406 --> 00:57:40,328
For us. Yeah. Respect. You think it's

958
00:57:40,344 --> 00:57:43,496
a respect thing? Respect also? Yeah. You think that's a respect thing?

959
00:57:43,568 --> 00:57:47,272
Yeah. Like, if we're all gonna play together, like, let's see if

960
00:57:47,296 --> 00:57:50,488
the girls vibe now what? One thing that.

961
00:57:50,544 --> 00:57:53,752
That people have done sometimes is just gone straight to the

962
00:57:53,776 --> 00:57:56,856
group chat. Instead of messaging one or the other.

963
00:57:56,928 --> 00:58:00,392
They will actually message both of us. Yeah. And do a group chat, which I.

964
00:58:00,416 --> 00:58:03,660
Think is pretty smart. Very smart. I think that's pretty smart.

965
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:09,196
I am a different belief than you. I don't view it as disrespectful.

966
00:58:09,388 --> 00:58:12,700
I personally think that, like me,

967
00:58:12,740 --> 00:58:16,460
for example, if I want to reach out to a couple,

968
00:58:16,620 --> 00:58:19,788
obviously I'm not going to be interested in the guy, I'm interested in the girl.

969
00:58:19,924 --> 00:58:23,644
I'm a straight man. I'm not going to be interested in the guy. I'm going

970
00:58:23,652 --> 00:58:26,760
to reach out to the person I'm interested in, you know?

971
00:58:27,700 --> 00:58:31,020
But if you don't. But if you don't get a good vibe from the

972
00:58:31,060 --> 00:58:34,390
husband, if the husband doesn't get a good vibe from you. Well,

973
00:58:34,430 --> 00:58:37,862
obviously at some point we're all gonna. We're all gonna meet. At some point

974
00:58:37,886 --> 00:58:41,062
we're all gonna talk. You know what I mean? Yes. So I'm not gonna have

975
00:58:41,086 --> 00:58:44,370
sex with a woman without having met the husband first.

976
00:58:44,830 --> 00:58:47,798
So the vibe's gotta be there before we even play. But.

977
00:58:47,854 --> 00:58:51,110
Right. If I'm reaching out to a couple, I'm not gonna reach

978
00:58:51,150 --> 00:58:55,190
out to the guy and be like, hey, can I talk to your wife about

979
00:58:55,310 --> 00:58:58,454
having sex with you guys at some point? No, I'm gonna reach out to the

980
00:58:58,462 --> 00:59:01,900
person that I'm interested in. And that doesn't mean that it's not

981
00:59:01,940 --> 00:59:04,700
going to be a group thing. I'm just going to be connecting with the person

982
00:59:04,740 --> 00:59:08,764
that I'm interested in. Yeah. But, you know, I certainly wouldn't view it as disrespectful.

983
00:59:08,812 --> 00:59:12,268
Now, I. I do understand where people

984
00:59:12,324 --> 00:59:16,492
would view that as disrespectful. Yeah, yeah. But I don't feel that

985
00:59:16,596 --> 00:59:21,180
most times it is intended as disrespectful.

986
00:59:21,260 --> 00:59:24,476
Now, there are. There are times where it is, but. Yeah, most times it's not.

987
00:59:24,548 --> 00:59:27,810
Yeah, there are times where it's, like, blatant, but most

988
00:59:27,850 --> 00:59:31,138
times it's not. And so I always. I was always curious about that because

989
00:59:31,194 --> 00:59:35,042
for me, it's. It is a different perspective. It is.

990
00:59:35,146 --> 00:59:37,826
But, you know, at the same time, it's also different for men and women.

991
00:59:37,898 --> 00:59:41,250
Just period. It's just different. Yeah, no, for sure.

992
00:59:41,370 --> 00:59:43,986
It's. It's the thought process. Right? Yeah,

993
00:59:44,098 --> 00:59:47,474
yeah. It's just. It is what it is. So anyways, you know,

994
00:59:47,482 --> 00:59:52,194
I gotta say, I think that this was an interesting educational.

995
00:59:52,242 --> 00:59:55,506
It was a bit on the educational side. Education. A little less entertaining

996
00:59:55,538 --> 00:59:59,550
and a little bit more educational. What it. Wait, it is what it is.

997
00:59:59,670 --> 01:00:02,350
It is what it is, my dear. And let me tell you something. I am

998
01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:04,830
going to have to put a wrap on this because I have been seeing you

999
01:00:04,870 --> 01:00:08,510
yawn and rub your eyes for,

1000
01:00:08,550 --> 01:00:11,790
like, the past hour. I'll have a little sty in my eye. Yeah, well,

1001
01:00:11,830 --> 01:00:14,846
rubbing them ain't gonna help you. I know. I got something you can rub,

1002
01:00:14,878 --> 01:00:18,030
though. Yeah,

1003
01:00:18,110 --> 01:00:21,758
we're gonna brown chicken, brown cow this here in a second. That's right.

1004
01:00:21,814 --> 01:00:24,558
You're gonna have to take that ass on over there to that bed and we're

1005
01:00:24,574 --> 01:00:27,566
gonna have a little fun. Okay. Yeah. And you know, I would bring you guys

1006
01:00:27,598 --> 01:00:31,072
along and I'm sure you would enjoy it, but I'm not going

1007
01:00:31,096 --> 01:00:34,544
to do that because FCC would not agree. No, no,

1008
01:00:34,632 --> 01:00:38,256
this is not that kind of podcast.

1009
01:00:38,448 --> 01:00:42,448
Anyways, with that being said, I appreciate you guys always tuning in and always

1010
01:00:42,504 --> 01:00:46,384
being faithful to us and always listening to us. We appreciate you. We appreciate

1011
01:00:46,432 --> 01:00:48,976
you being a part of this family and being a part of this community.

1012
01:00:49,128 --> 01:00:52,256
And we appreciate you letting us into your speakers,

1013
01:00:52,288 --> 01:00:56,120
your homes, your cars, your daily commutes. Thank you for being

1014
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:59,688
there. Thank you for showing the love and affection and. And just

1015
01:00:59,744 --> 01:01:03,592
complete support. We really appreciate every single one

1016
01:01:03,616 --> 01:01:08,180
of you. And with that, we will see you guys next week by

1017
01:01:44,700 --> 01:01:44,940
it.