S1 E13 Lessons in Consent: Protecting Personal Boundaries

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. We explore

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topics surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships,

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and related subjects in an open and candid manner. Please be

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advised that we are not licensed marriage or sex therapists,

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and the content shared here is for entertainment and informational purposes

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only. If you are under 18 years of age or prefer not to engage with

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discussions about sex, relationships, or mature language, we strongly

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recommend that you refrain from listening further. However, if you are of legal age

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and comfortable with this content, we invite you to settle in and enjoy

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the show. Hello, and welcome to

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another episode of Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris. And today we're talking about consent.

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Yes, the big C word. The big consent.

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Oh, is that the C word? I don't know. I don't think that's the C

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word. But it is. A coochie is the C word.

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Oh, my gosh. Well, some people spell it with a K. That's right.

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So we're talking about consent today, and that's the biggest buzz around

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the newsroom is that there's all sorts of stuff happening

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around here. Yeah, we have heard a lot of different stories and things regarding

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consent, which has just gotten the conversation going. We have.

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So we. I have noticed that

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it's a topic that's very hard for people to

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express, I guess. You mean,

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like, they have trouble verbalizing it?

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Like, actually talking about it? Yes, they have trouble verbalizing it.

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So I. I remember when we first started in

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the lifestyle, I didn't know how to react

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around men. Well, I guess. Let me.

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Let me. Let me rephrase this a little bit different. I have

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always been a person who grew up not trusting

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men. My dad was. My dad was

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wonderful as. As a. As a man to like women. Like,

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he wasn't disrespectful. He wasn't.

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Wasn't grossetto. Like, he didn't like. Like cat call.

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He was not that guy. And I guess I was raised

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that men are. Should be respectful and.

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But also I developed really

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fast, so I was always worried about men staring

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at me up until recently. Like, I never liked that.

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Right, right. So I was always very cautious to be around men,

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and so I didn't. When we came into the lifestyle, I didn't know how to

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express that to men when they would give

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hugs or they'd come in for a

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kiss or something. You know, it was actually you that actually taught me

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about the side hug. Yeah, I didn't know that that

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was a thing. And I remember early

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on in our. In our relationship

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career, we Had a, we met with

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a, an old friend or what who had somebody and she was a

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little chesty, but I mean, I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't a lifestyle

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thing. It was just friends and I, every time I would give her a

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hug, she would stick herself out. Yeah. And I

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thought I was like, what do I stick. Think something, you know, and that's when

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you explain. No, it's out of respect for me. She does the side

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hug because she doesn't want to, you know, give off the wrong

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signal. And that's, that's a mama, that, that, that's a person whose mama taught him

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good. Yeah. Because that's, that's the way I was taught. You do

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the side hug because what's going to happen is you're going to press your tits

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against somebody. Right. And it's fine, it's fine if you're comfortable

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with that and you know, especially if you're in the lifestyle, everybody wants

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to give hugs and, and stuff. A lot of people

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you ask. I do. Is it okay to give you a hug?

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So that, that was something that I actually, I used to go back and forth

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with. I, I felt it was awkward

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at, at first to ask somebody, is it

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okay if I hug you? You know, I thought, I just thought it sounded

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weird. Yes. But I realized most people

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are huggers, so it's cool. Yeah. And.

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But it's also cool to not assume

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because there are some people that just aren't. Yeah. And so I've,

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I found it kind of easy now. I've been doing it for a while now

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where I'm just like, hey, is it okay? Like, yeah. And it's

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always gotten a positive response. Yeah, I feel

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it. So what brought this subject recently

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was that we've been going to a lot of like, meet and greets and a

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lot of different events and we tend

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to kind of sit back sometimes and just kind of. People watch and

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just kind of wait for our friends to get there.

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And I noticed that there's certain

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individuals sometimes that just get a little bit. I don't

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know these people, but they get a little bit handsy

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and. Oh, you've run into that before. And I'm not saying this

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is only a man thing. That's. It's also women. Like, Like.

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Yeah, I've seen you've run into that too. I patted

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girls asses before. There are friends, but I have done

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that. I, I feel like these in particular times,

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they've always been, it's always been a guy.

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There was that One time, though, we were at that one meet and greet

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and that girl came up and just straight up grabbed your ass. Yeah.

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Didn't say a word to you and then walked away.

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Yeah. I've also had, like, my tits fondled

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and I'm like, oh, okay. So that's happening now. Right. And we don't want

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to be rude. Right? Right. I mean, if it's a man, I got no problem.

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I don't have any problem with a man or a woman. Me. Me telling them

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to stop. Right. But this in particular was a situation where

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I saw this person kind of floating around

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saying hi to everybody and getting very.

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When he came into me and he. They hugged me,

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I kind of pushed him away, but I kind of noticed

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he kind of nuzzled my neck. And I was like, what the fuck?

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But I noticed that he was going around and doing this.

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Other people, but actually, like in their face,

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like, I'm about to stick my tongue in your mouth face.

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And I saw the women look so uncomfortable

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and I felt so bad. It's hard for

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me not to get up and be a protector of

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women. So I was so tempted to get up and be like,

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all right, dude, like, are you not understanding?

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You're not reading the room. But it's also the woman

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that should be saying that, like,

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boundary. She obviously, like these persons obviously did not like it.

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Right. So it's. I mean, it's really, you know,

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a two part dance. It is for sure. Yeah. Like, we have

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to. You have to be able to. To say,

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no, I do not care if I hurt

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someone's feelings. I'm not, I'm not in this world, I'm not in this lifestyle

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to make. To. To make sure that I'm not hurting anybody's feelings.

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If you come across me and you're very aggressive,

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I'm gonna say something. You know, I'm not gonna

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be. I'm not gonna be rude about it,

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but I am gonna tell them, hey, you know, just ask. Just ask.

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That's all it takes. Yeah. You know. Well, I remember early on,

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the early days, when it was a bit harder to be that vocal.

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Yeah. As a matter of fact, one of the first parties that you and

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I went to together and that guy started groping you. Yeah. Old guy.

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While we're. Yeah. And we really didn't. Really didn't

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say much because we kind of froze up. Yeah. Because what do you

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do? I don't have trauma like that. Like, I don't have trauma

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to where I was any

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kind of trauma to where it was sexual trauma. Right. I don't have that,

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but a lot of people do. Yeah. And it's, it's where

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you freeze. You kind of just freeze. But at that moment,

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I was like, wait, do I, do you know what

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the hell? Most men, most partners

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will tell the guy because they know their girl is feeling uncomfortable.

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Right. I've, I've, I've talked to a lot of people and

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they're like, yeah, no, she's, she's kind of quiet sometimes and doesn't

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know how to express herself. So I'll be the one to kind of be like,

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hey, dude, back off. Right. You know. Right.

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But, yeah, I didn't know how to express myself. I didn't want

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to cause a scene. It was his house. I didn't want to feel,

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you know. It was a, it was an awkward moment. It was very awkward.

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Yeah. And, But I, I, I. You said something poignant there.

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I didn't want to cause a scene. Yeah. Now I, I feel like that's

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something that comes up often. And I, and understandably so.

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There is an unfortunate thing that happens in the lifestyle where

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people tend to get labeled. Yes. One way or another, something happens.

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They get labeled one way or another.

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And so I've seen it in front

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of me where somebody has,

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you know, maybe some girl got her ass grabbed and

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the girl snapped back at the guy very loudly

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and quote, unquote, created a scene. And they

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were automatically looked upon as,

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oh, she's a. Being overly dramatic and being a

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bit. And, you know. And it's kind of painted by

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both men and women. Yeah. Yeah. This, this particular

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person. But I've seen it in a few different times where it's

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happened like that. Yeah. And that just blows my

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mind. It's personal space. Just because we're naked

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around you or,

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you know, we're, we're dressed a certain way,

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it is not okay for anybody to

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come up to you and grab you.

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Like, you need, you really need to practice the

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comfortableness of, hey,

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we're gonna, you know, go out and whatever.

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You know, if you're going out with a partner, watch each other's back.

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If it's two girls. Some. I mean, we have a lot of single women,

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a lot of single friends. I can't even imagine how

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they feel. Yeah. Like, it's supposed to be a very safe environment.

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Sure. Because there's sex involved,

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there's nakedness involved. There's a lot of vulnerability of.

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Involved in the situation. You should feel comfortable.

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Like, I feel when I, when we go, like, to the Clubs and stuff.

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I feel very comfortable. I know that I can be naked

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on the bed and nobody is going to touch me. Yeah. Right.

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I have never had anybody approach me. Well, I've had my, like,

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our friends. Right. Which have a blanket consent.

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Sure. But non friends to go up

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to me and try to, like, grab me.

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No, but I've heard stories, man. I have heard.

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Almost everybody has a story. I have heard so many stories.

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I posted something recently and I heard so many stories,

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and it literally broke my heart. And this is why we're doing this

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show, because there has to be.

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Men should know better.

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Like, it's just what it is. You're around a

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sexy woman. She's very beautiful. She's turning

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you on. It is not okay for you to go up to her and just

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grab her. Like the.

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It starts with. It starts with both. Right. But it should be the

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man at least acknowledging. Okay. I don't want

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to make her feel uncomfortable. I mean, most of us

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have another female in our life. It's like, you don't want your wife

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to feel uncomfortable. You're very respectful. Yeah. And you were

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raised with a lot of women. This is true. And so you've always

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been very respectful. Even when we were dating.

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Like, you didn't grab me. No. You would hold me close,

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but you did not. Like, I never wanted to be disrespected.

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Exactly. And I was your girlfriend. Right. So I feel

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like that should be instilled

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in. In a man. Well, not everybody's raised the same. And I.

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And I totally know that. Yeah. And not to mention. But let's.

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Let's be realistic here. A lot of times when these

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incidents happen, alcohol is present.

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Yes. Because most of the time when it's a sober

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meetup. Yeah. Everybody's solid. It's embarrassing everyone.

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Yeah. No one's really happy. Anybody. Yeah. No. It's normally after a

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few. Yeah. That people start getting grabby. Yeah. And they start loosening up

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and whatever. Ambitions drop. And it's. And that's very true.

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I wanted to bring something up, so I did. I did

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a post. Right. And a lot of people were commenting and telling us their stories

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and whatnot. I had somebody.

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I didn't name any names because I. Frankly, I didn't know the person's name.

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Right. But I had somebody on the post and

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they kind of were. Well, you know,

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you should really educate the person doing that.

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I'm not a teacher. I'm not here to educate you.

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I can tell you my boundaries, but I'm not here to Educate anybody.

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Like, I'm not going to go into a meet and greet and be like,

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okay, everybody, please ask, you know, please ask my consent to

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hug me or touch me. When you approach them, you should be

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like, hey, like, you do it. You're like, hey, can I, can I give

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you a hug? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I normally will.

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Yeah. We'll go, hey, is it okay? Did somebody need to educate

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you on that? No. I, I,

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I had heard before that some people just aren't huggers.

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And so it just seemed like common sense I shouldn't hug somebody because then

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they'll, they'll feel uncomfortable. But doesn't that, well, because doesn't that

231
00:14:23,292 --> 00:14:27,348
go, doesn't that go from Vanilla World

232
00:14:27,404 --> 00:14:31,412
also? Yeah, Yeah. I feel like that is a common sense

233
00:14:31,476 --> 00:14:35,556
thing. Yeah, totally. Like the, but not everybody's

234
00:14:35,588 --> 00:14:38,884
there. It's, it's all different levels. You know, when you have a community

235
00:14:38,972 --> 00:14:42,484
this large. Yeah. You're going to have a ton of different personalities.

236
00:14:42,532 --> 00:14:45,956
Now, I'm not defending the actions. Don't get me wrong. Yeah.

237
00:14:46,068 --> 00:14:49,460
But it's more of an understanding that you,

238
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:52,594
you have to look at that. It's not, it's not good.

239
00:14:52,682 --> 00:14:56,370
But obviously there were things that have led

240
00:14:56,410 --> 00:15:00,210
up to this kind of behavior. Yeah. I mean, I guess. Yeah.

241
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,970
Yeah. So whether it goes all the way back to childhood

242
00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:07,522
to whether it's just something that there's just away with

243
00:15:07,546 --> 00:15:10,866
for. So long, there's like, there's no room. There's no,

244
00:15:10,938 --> 00:15:14,962
there's no excuses. Like, I don't, I feel like

245
00:15:15,146 --> 00:15:19,156
there shouldn't be an excuse. I mean, imagine if you're

246
00:15:19,188 --> 00:15:21,796
a guy and you're straight,

247
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:25,092
but some guy comes up to you and he,

248
00:15:25,276 --> 00:15:29,476
he touches your junk. Yeah. You know, like you're,

249
00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:33,460
you're gonna say something. Right? Or right. Or what if you don't.

250
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:36,484
Well, you know, and honestly, I've never been in that position.

251
00:15:36,572 --> 00:15:40,196
You know what? I don't know how I would react. I might freeze up

252
00:15:40,348 --> 00:15:43,780
and be like, oh, yeah, did that just happen? And that's what happens to

253
00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:47,186
most women. Yeah. We freeze up. We don't know what to do.

254
00:15:47,338 --> 00:15:51,058
And we don't. We, we just get, we get inside ourselves.

255
00:15:51,154 --> 00:15:54,338
Right. You know, we went to a place one,

256
00:15:54,394 --> 00:15:57,250
one time, and it was a female who made me feel uncomfortable.

257
00:15:57,330 --> 00:16:00,290
Yeah. And I looked at you and I said, we're out of here. Right.

258
00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:03,950
And, and we left. But it's like, you,

259
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:08,274
I mean, geez, if you're not, if you

260
00:16:08,282 --> 00:16:12,090
don't know that, if you don't know not to ask

261
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:16,446
like if it's not part of your thing to ask somebody for any

262
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:19,730
type of touch, shouldn't be in the lifestyle.

263
00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:24,494
Yeah, well, you know, I mean, I mean that is my opinion.

264
00:16:24,622 --> 00:16:28,270
Yeah. I'm not defending my opinion, but there's, there's different degrees of

265
00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:31,050
things and you know, people up.

266
00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:35,134
Yeah, people up and then they apologize for

267
00:16:35,142 --> 00:16:38,688
it when they realize it and. Then you go, okay, how many times though?

268
00:16:38,814 --> 00:16:42,492
Well, that's different. Do you know what I mean? Like, like how

269
00:16:42,516 --> 00:16:46,316
many times? I am very forgiving. I have forgiven many people

270
00:16:46,388 --> 00:16:50,348
for touching me. I will tell them. And they have apologized

271
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:54,108
and I sincerely think that they meant no harm behind

272
00:16:54,164 --> 00:16:56,972
it. Sure. I'm not a very trusty person.

273
00:16:57,156 --> 00:17:00,908
That's true. You know, so an apology goes a very long

274
00:17:00,964 --> 00:17:03,480
way with me. Sure.

275
00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:08,430
But if it's keeps happening,

276
00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:12,138
you know, that apology is only going to go. You can only say I'm

277
00:17:12,154 --> 00:17:15,466
sorry so many times. Sure. Before it's just,

278
00:17:15,538 --> 00:17:19,450
it's just habit. Now it's just this doesn't come and

279
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:22,650
I, I don't know, there's just, there's not an excuse for it. And it's very

280
00:17:22,690 --> 00:17:26,410
sad because a lot of people, a lot of women, I mean,

281
00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:29,270
I'm sorry, it's a lot of women, they don't know,

282
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:33,580
they don't know how to say no. Or the guy could

283
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:37,308
be overpowering. Like this person was

284
00:17:37,364 --> 00:17:41,212
huge. Well. And I, I can't take that away. But you know,

285
00:17:41,236 --> 00:17:44,380
it goes the other way too. Well,

286
00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:48,220
because hey, women. Yeah. Women are,

287
00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:51,080
women can get grabby and they get, you know,

288
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:55,788
oh my God. I mean, you now me personally and we

289
00:17:55,844 --> 00:17:58,636
don't care. Talked about this. Me personally? Yeah,

290
00:17:58,748 --> 00:18:02,364
I, while I agree consent should be big 100% in the

291
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:06,156
community. You are a non consent person. I am a non consent person.

292
00:18:06,228 --> 00:18:09,660
Now are you a non consent person for men and women? No,

293
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:13,132
because that's one of my boundaries is because I'm straight. But what if

294
00:18:13,156 --> 00:18:16,268
a guy doesn't know this? Well, that should be asked,

295
00:18:16,324 --> 00:18:19,852
do you. Know what I mean? Sure. Like I, but that's not something that

296
00:18:19,876 --> 00:18:23,004
you just assume. Yeah. You know what I mean? What if

297
00:18:23,012 --> 00:18:26,738
it's a girl in the lifestyle and she only likes women and,

298
00:18:26,794 --> 00:18:29,874
and, and some guy just comes up to her and is like, oh, I.

299
00:18:29,882 --> 00:18:32,594
Understand what you're doing. You know what I mean? Like, sure. It kind of goes

300
00:18:32,642 --> 00:18:36,338
both ways. I mean, I do see your point because you are right

301
00:18:36,394 --> 00:18:40,066
that, that women, it's not only men. I've seen

302
00:18:40,138 --> 00:18:43,714
many a woman come and be completely

303
00:18:43,762 --> 00:18:47,634
all over You. Because you don't need consent. No, I'm.

304
00:18:47,682 --> 00:18:50,990
I'm. I'm cool with it. You're cool with it because you like that.

305
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,140
That want or whatever.

306
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,900
Now I want consent. Yeah, of course. I even

307
00:18:57,940 --> 00:19:00,924
want consent sometimes. When they're kissing your lips. Yeah.

308
00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:05,292
You know what I mean? Like, it's Nims. Mine come

309
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:08,908
up in conversation before it. Has, but once

310
00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:12,652
people know us, it's fine, right? I mean,

311
00:19:12,756 --> 00:19:16,476
it doesn't happen a lot, but.

312
00:19:16,548 --> 00:19:19,624
Yeah. No, I mean, I understand women and it's always.

313
00:19:19,712 --> 00:19:23,480
You are very right that it is always with alcohol.

314
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,920
Yeah. Alcohol is usually involved and, And I understand it.

315
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:31,496
It's because it lowers your inhibitions. It makes it easier to maybe

316
00:19:31,608 --> 00:19:35,880
do the things that normal you would want to do now

317
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,432
anxieties prevent you from doing. Now, I know you don't have

318
00:19:39,456 --> 00:19:42,958
to worry about me because I can.

319
00:19:43,144 --> 00:19:46,498
If I need you, I get you. Sure. But I can hold my own.

320
00:19:46,634 --> 00:19:50,322
Unfortunately. Yeah. I can hold my own with anybody. A man or

321
00:19:50,346 --> 00:19:53,922
a woman. Yes, I have no problem. Now I

322
00:19:53,946 --> 00:19:57,106
have a question for you. What? We're out.

323
00:19:57,258 --> 00:20:01,470
We're with a big group of friends and

324
00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:06,066
new people are there. And you see this one guy getting

325
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:09,630
very touchy feely with another new person.

326
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:13,916
And you see her trying to walk away every now and then, but he keeps

327
00:20:13,948 --> 00:20:17,640
kind of hovering and finding her. What do you

328
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:21,468
do? You jump in. Well, see, so that's the,

329
00:20:21,604 --> 00:20:25,500
that's the issue that I have is that unless

330
00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:30,028
I know the people and I know the situation 100%,

331
00:20:30,164 --> 00:20:33,692
you wouldn't ask, like, I've been in there. So, I mean, like,

332
00:20:33,796 --> 00:20:37,180
in that scenario, I'm seeing this play out over here.

333
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:40,840
Right. I can't really tell. Do they know

334
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,800
each other? Are they. Okay, so say she keeps.

335
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,432
She walks next. Or she's. She jumps. Now she's next to you. Or now

336
00:20:47,456 --> 00:20:50,552
she's next to me and you see her. Like if it's around, if it's obvious.

337
00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:54,872
Yeah, like it's very obvious. Yeah. They're not. Like it's very unwanted.

338
00:20:54,936 --> 00:20:58,488
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You would say something. Yeah, me too.

339
00:20:58,544 --> 00:21:02,152
Yeah, me too. But you know,

340
00:21:02,336 --> 00:21:06,410
part of the reason is that I. I have daughters. Yes. And if

341
00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:09,978
my daughters were out and dealing with something like that and

342
00:21:10,034 --> 00:21:13,770
they couldn't take care of themselves, I would hope somebody would

343
00:21:13,810 --> 00:21:17,018
step in. Yeah. And. And do something like that.

344
00:21:17,154 --> 00:21:20,314
And then the other reason would be, is that I. I watch a lot of

345
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:23,482
that. 2020. What would you do? Yeah. And you just

346
00:21:23,506 --> 00:21:27,642
never know when the cameras are rolling is

347
00:21:27,666 --> 00:21:30,636
back there. Gotta Speak up. Because you never know. Yeah.

348
00:21:30,738 --> 00:21:34,136
I mean, I feel like as a community, we should really

349
00:21:34,208 --> 00:21:38,020
be protecting each other.

350
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,312
Yeah. I mean, we do it with the, you know, the STDs and

351
00:21:42,336 --> 00:21:45,384
playing safe and that sort of thing like that. Do all of that. Yeah.

352
00:21:45,432 --> 00:21:49,240
To protect the community. We should be protecting the community. That should be. That should

353
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,940
be one of the these, the steps.

354
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,740
Also, like our single friends,

355
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,536
like, ladies, don't be scared. Don't be scared to say.

356
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:05,184
And I know someone had mentioned what's really hard,

357
00:22:05,272 --> 00:22:08,512
like when it's a bigger person and they're kind of

358
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:11,780
just. I'm tiny and they're just kind of hovering,

359
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,808
you know, Go in pairs if you're gonna

360
00:22:15,824 --> 00:22:18,832
go out. Go in pairs. Yeah. You know,

361
00:22:18,936 --> 00:22:22,912
I've. It's my understanding that most women are receptive to

362
00:22:22,936 --> 00:22:26,032
other women, even if they don't know each other. So you could probably go

363
00:22:26,056 --> 00:22:29,534
up to some random. Oh, if you don't have someone with you

364
00:22:29,542 --> 00:22:32,910
and say, hey, can I borrow you for a minute? Yes. If I am

365
00:22:32,950 --> 00:22:36,798
ever there and you need someone to scare off

366
00:22:36,854 --> 00:22:39,774
somebody, please come and get me.

367
00:22:39,862 --> 00:22:43,086
Yeah. Be more than. But yeah, like, go in pairs,

368
00:22:43,118 --> 00:22:46,782
because it is. I. I understand. It's a really great community,

369
00:22:46,886 --> 00:22:50,334
but you never know who or what

370
00:22:50,422 --> 00:22:53,646
is lurking. You never know people's intentions.

371
00:22:53,678 --> 00:22:56,318
And I'm not trying to make it scary. Scary. I'm just trying to make it

372
00:22:56,374 --> 00:22:59,902
real. Right. You know, like, you just. You.

373
00:23:00,006 --> 00:23:03,210
You don't know. And yeah, guys are.

374
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:07,390
Guys are stronger sometimes. You know,

375
00:23:07,430 --> 00:23:11,102
they're stronger than. Than women. Well, you know,

376
00:23:11,126 --> 00:23:14,350
I've. I've had my run ins with not

377
00:23:14,390 --> 00:23:17,726
having consent for something that. That weirded me out. I don't know if you remember

378
00:23:17,758 --> 00:23:21,070
this. I don't. It was way back in the

379
00:23:21,110 --> 00:23:24,690
day and we invited this guy over to the house

380
00:23:24,990 --> 00:23:28,390
and I was. I was

381
00:23:28,510 --> 00:23:31,718
you. I was on. I was on top of you and I was you.

382
00:23:31,854 --> 00:23:34,630
And. But you kind of. You kind of got back on. Yeah, I was.

383
00:23:34,670 --> 00:23:38,614
I was leaning back. Yeah. And this dude decided he wanted to finger

384
00:23:38,662 --> 00:23:41,170
you while I was you. Yeah. And in the process,

385
00:23:41,550 --> 00:23:45,526
basically started rubbing my dick. Yeah. Which just

386
00:23:45,678 --> 00:23:48,702
threw you off. Threw me completely off. Completely.

387
00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:51,934
And didn't like it. No, you did not.

388
00:23:52,022 --> 00:23:55,006
But I did not know what to do.

389
00:23:55,078 --> 00:23:58,398
And I froze up. Yeah. And I basically

390
00:23:58,494 --> 00:24:01,822
just trudged through it and did my best to

391
00:24:01,846 --> 00:24:06,142
finish. Yeah. And. And I was like, dude, that. That sucked.

392
00:24:06,206 --> 00:24:10,330
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that. Yeah. Now, why couldn't you

393
00:24:10,870 --> 00:24:14,726
say? I. I wasn't prepared. I. I didn't

394
00:24:14,758 --> 00:24:18,678
know and first off, we. It was still very early in our LS

395
00:24:18,774 --> 00:24:22,694
journey. And frankly, in my. In my

396
00:24:22,782 --> 00:24:26,182
humble opinion, I feel like the ability to be

397
00:24:26,206 --> 00:24:29,670
that vocal comes with experience and

398
00:24:29,710 --> 00:24:33,078
time, comfort. It does because it's. It's really

399
00:24:33,134 --> 00:24:36,934
hard as a new person, unless you've just been working in bars

400
00:24:36,982 --> 00:24:40,118
and strip clubs or you have that personality. Yeah, it's. It's.

401
00:24:40,134 --> 00:24:43,446
It's very hard for somebody to come in and feel empowered enough

402
00:24:43,518 --> 00:24:47,126
to be that vocal. Yeah. And I think

403
00:24:47,198 --> 00:24:50,470
that it's just difficult. It's just

404
00:24:50,510 --> 00:24:53,830
difficult because if you haven't had it happen to you at least

405
00:24:53,870 --> 00:24:57,622
a couple of times, you don't know how you're going to react when it

406
00:24:57,646 --> 00:25:00,838
happens. I'm. It needs to be

407
00:25:00,974 --> 00:25:04,246
like people. If you're going to be in the lifestyle, be comfortable

408
00:25:04,278 --> 00:25:07,892
with that. Like, it should be instilled in

409
00:25:07,916 --> 00:25:11,988
your everyday. Go. Whenever you're going to go out and play

410
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:14,468
or whenever you're going to go out somewhere where there's going to be a big

411
00:25:14,524 --> 00:25:18,868
crowd, be prepared to say sorry.

412
00:25:19,044 --> 00:25:22,292
No. Yeah, yeah. Well, you used to take it to

413
00:25:22,316 --> 00:25:25,828
a very big extreme, because I remember we would

414
00:25:25,884 --> 00:25:28,884
go places and I would have to tell you beforehand,

415
00:25:28,932 --> 00:25:32,908
okay, be nice. Let's erase that face.

416
00:25:33,084 --> 00:25:36,460
Make it happier, you know, because you. You go in with

417
00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:40,380
this chip on your shoulder like you're ready to. Because I don't tell somebody.

418
00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:44,060
I'm very untrue. I don't trust anybody. Right. So it's very

419
00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:48,492
hard for me to be comfortable because, one, there's alcohol involved.

420
00:25:48,556 --> 00:25:52,492
Sure. And there's people that are

421
00:25:52,516 --> 00:25:56,540
going to be very touchy, grabby. Right. And I

422
00:25:56,580 --> 00:25:59,692
go in with the. It's like when you and I go through, like,

423
00:25:59,716 --> 00:26:03,880
a bad neighborhood and then we're walking through a neighborhood and you get that.

424
00:26:04,190 --> 00:26:07,302
That look of don't with

425
00:26:07,326 --> 00:26:09,782
us. Don't even, like, don't even approach us. Do you know what I mean?

426
00:26:09,806 --> 00:26:12,566
Yeah. When I put. Put my hood on. Yeah, when you put your hood on.

427
00:26:12,638 --> 00:26:15,670
Okay. So I put my hood on whenever we go to a place where.

428
00:26:15,710 --> 00:26:19,142
And I know that people are gonna get rowdy.

429
00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:22,290
Like, I am straight. I'm always ready to.

430
00:26:22,910 --> 00:26:26,358
I'm always ready to. I'm always ready to rumble. So. But here's

431
00:26:26,374 --> 00:26:30,490
the problem with that is. That I'm an unapproachable.

432
00:26:31,430 --> 00:26:34,890
The problem with it is that I am not

433
00:26:35,350 --> 00:26:39,422
a violent person. Well, me neither. Well, no, but let

434
00:26:39,446 --> 00:26:41,902
me get where I'm going with this. Let me get from point A to point

435
00:26:41,926 --> 00:26:45,150
A. Okay. I'm not a violent Person. No. I have

436
00:26:45,190 --> 00:26:48,702
a past of getting into fights. I have a past of having

437
00:26:48,726 --> 00:26:51,822
a chip on my shoulder that is an atom that I have put away and

438
00:26:51,846 --> 00:26:55,406
buried a long time ago. Yeah. If I see

439
00:26:55,478 --> 00:26:58,878
somebody raise their hands to you.

440
00:26:59,014 --> 00:27:02,670
Yeah. I will end up stepping in and it will

441
00:27:02,710 --> 00:27:06,078
be bad. Yes. The problem is,

442
00:27:06,134 --> 00:27:09,070
is that I know how to walk away from stuff. Yes.

443
00:27:09,150 --> 00:27:13,102
The problem is, is that I have a wife who doesn't and likes to

444
00:27:13,126 --> 00:27:16,222
get in the middle of it. Likes to be the one. I'm more reactive.

445
00:27:16,286 --> 00:27:19,502
You need to get out of here. And especially. And especially

446
00:27:19,606 --> 00:27:22,836
when it's a guy. So a guy and

447
00:27:22,908 --> 00:27:26,052
machismones. You could be talking to

448
00:27:26,076 --> 00:27:29,588
your cup. And if you're machismon isn't to your cup, I'll be like,

449
00:27:29,644 --> 00:27:33,380
really? I just. I guess my. My point. So for me, you don't have to

450
00:27:33,420 --> 00:27:36,724
take on the world. I know. But you have a family. But it's.

451
00:27:36,772 --> 00:27:40,132
It's a. It's a trigger for me. Like, it's a. It's a

452
00:27:40,156 --> 00:27:43,492
trigger that. That I just. I don't know what it is.

453
00:27:43,676 --> 00:27:47,604
And especially when I see my ladies getting

454
00:27:47,692 --> 00:27:51,346
bombarded, I'm like, what?

455
00:27:51,418 --> 00:27:54,770
It's very hard. It was very hard for me to

456
00:27:54,810 --> 00:27:57,810
not say anything. I know it. I was just.

457
00:27:57,850 --> 00:28:01,550
I turned around and I started dancing. Yeah. Like,

458
00:28:01,850 --> 00:28:05,602
I know. And I know guys or

459
00:28:05,626 --> 00:28:09,298
couples. I know that y'all like to mingle separately, keep an eye

460
00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,950
on your. On each other. Like,

461
00:28:12,650 --> 00:28:16,416
make sure that you're your guy or

462
00:28:16,488 --> 00:28:19,520
your girl is in a good place. You know,

463
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,992
she's not. Or they are not, like, getting handsy

464
00:28:23,056 --> 00:28:26,944
or causing scenes or drama. I remember if. If I remember

465
00:28:26,992 --> 00:28:30,540
correctly, and this is a long, long time ago, we attended a thing,

466
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:35,460
and it was a lifestyle thing. And the couple.

467
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,152
The girl was very wild. Like, you could tell

468
00:28:39,176 --> 00:28:42,728
she was on some. She was on something, but she was just

469
00:28:42,784 --> 00:28:45,992
drunk and she was all over the place. She was grabbing all

470
00:28:46,016 --> 00:28:50,140
these different guys and making people feel very uncomfortable.

471
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:54,420
And. And then we went to another party.

472
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,696
And I don't know if you remember this. We walked in and it was hosted

473
00:28:58,728 --> 00:29:01,500
by this dominatrix type of lady.

474
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,832
And as soon as we walked through the threshold of

475
00:29:05,856 --> 00:29:09,272
the front door, she pushed me against the wall and started making

476
00:29:09,296 --> 00:29:13,004
out. Started making out with you. I was so utterly p.

477
00:29:13,152 --> 00:29:16,708
I know. That whole time. And the other women

478
00:29:16,844 --> 00:29:20,420
of the couples had the same experience, and they were all

479
00:29:20,460 --> 00:29:23,892
upset, and it was just. It. We were

480
00:29:23,916 --> 00:29:26,996
there, what, 30 minutes? 30 minutes. And it was like, all right, we're.

481
00:29:27,028 --> 00:29:30,356
We're Gone, you know? Yeah. You feel the vibe. But I feel,

482
00:29:30,428 --> 00:29:34,804
yeah. Like, especially the one where the girl was just intoxicated

483
00:29:34,852 --> 00:29:38,660
and then all over the place. Yeah. Like, you go

484
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:42,122
in taking care of each other. Like, I understand you want to do your

485
00:29:42,146 --> 00:29:45,898
separate thing and you want to. You know, y'all have that

486
00:29:45,954 --> 00:29:49,402
rule, but if there's alcohol involved

487
00:29:49,466 --> 00:29:52,378
or any type of whatever. Involved.

488
00:29:52,554 --> 00:29:56,218
Watch each other. Like, I'm very vigilant when it comes

489
00:29:56,274 --> 00:30:00,138
to meet and greets with women. Like, I. I'll. I'm watching all of y'all,

490
00:30:00,314 --> 00:30:03,590
and I'm making sure that all of y'all are good.

491
00:30:04,050 --> 00:30:06,650
And it takes a lot for me not to go up and be like,

492
00:30:06,690 --> 00:30:10,088
okay, dude, I already saw

493
00:30:10,144 --> 00:30:13,060
you. You didn't see her face. Like, come on.

494
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:18,264
And I say this because the person was married. Watch your

495
00:30:18,352 --> 00:30:21,672
guy. Watch your wife. Well, you know,

496
00:30:21,696 --> 00:30:25,656
I mean, because it does happen. Both. It is. It is thing. It is both.

497
00:30:25,728 --> 00:30:29,192
Like, sometimes it is both. It's both women and men. Like,

498
00:30:29,376 --> 00:30:32,984
you know, you just never know. You never know. It's a

499
00:30:32,992 --> 00:30:36,836
different situation for everybody. Yeah. And there's this. This is

500
00:30:36,908 --> 00:30:40,372
one of many, many, many, many that we've seen over the years. This is

501
00:30:40,396 --> 00:30:43,812
one of many ton of. Things that have happened to both of

502
00:30:43,836 --> 00:30:47,252
us, around both of us. Stories we've heard. We've even been to

503
00:30:47,276 --> 00:30:50,692
vanilla places. And an LS person was there and grabbed my

504
00:30:50,716 --> 00:30:53,956
ass. I was about to break his hand. Yeah. When we first got together

505
00:30:54,108 --> 00:30:57,332
and when we first started the lifestyle, like, I have been there.

506
00:30:57,436 --> 00:31:01,092
I have done that. And yes, I am a very vocal person

507
00:31:01,196 --> 00:31:05,046
now, but I wasn't. Somewhere little Chingona

508
00:31:05,078 --> 00:31:07,490
came out and she's like, girl,

509
00:31:08,030 --> 00:31:10,886
stand your ground. Yeah. And I do.

510
00:31:10,958 --> 00:31:14,550
And I wish that I could give that little power to everybody because

511
00:31:14,670 --> 00:31:17,766
men and women. Because it's okay. It.

512
00:31:17,838 --> 00:31:21,078
And you know what? Men, too. Like, if you're

513
00:31:21,094 --> 00:31:25,110
in the middle and you're having sex and a

514
00:31:25,150 --> 00:31:29,250
guy comes in and he's in your bubble, it's okay.

515
00:31:29,670 --> 00:31:33,534
Pause, you know, if it's something that you're uncomfortable

516
00:31:33,582 --> 00:31:37,130
with, pause. Just stop. Tell them,

517
00:31:37,430 --> 00:31:40,190
like, I'll be in the middle of whatever and be like,

518
00:31:40,230 --> 00:31:43,502
oh, yeah, no, yeah, no, I've seen

519
00:31:43,526 --> 00:31:47,134
that. Before, you know, now, you know, I. I'm curious about something.

520
00:31:47,222 --> 00:31:50,970
So you're very vocal about this

521
00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:55,808
subject matter, this consent, and. And you've

522
00:31:55,904 --> 00:31:59,088
said so on posts in the past. Yes, I'm very big on.

523
00:31:59,144 --> 00:32:02,460
You're very, very vocal about this sort of thing.

524
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,300
You're vocal and passionate for it.

525
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,408
The way it comes off. Do you think that you are maybe

526
00:32:11,504 --> 00:32:15,500
perceived by community members as being,

527
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,840
I don't know, kind of a. A hard ass or.

528
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:23,766
Or even. Even worse, maybe people are

529
00:32:23,838 --> 00:32:27,798
less interested in you because they feel like you're being too aggressive

530
00:32:27,814 --> 00:32:31,410
with the subject matter or anything like that. Do you think that's a thing?

531
00:32:31,790 --> 00:32:35,206
Possibly because we're human and we all like to hate

532
00:32:35,238 --> 00:32:39,030
on people. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sure I

533
00:32:39,070 --> 00:32:42,758
can guarantee you that people probably think she's

534
00:32:42,774 --> 00:32:46,710
a. Look at her just causing. Causing stuff,

535
00:32:46,790 --> 00:32:50,284
you know? Yeah. This was a. I mean, this was a subject

536
00:32:50,332 --> 00:32:53,720
that. Look at it. Look at all these negative things.

537
00:32:54,580 --> 00:32:58,360
I. It. That doesn't matter to me

538
00:32:58,740 --> 00:33:02,380
what I'm passionate about. Matters to me.

539
00:33:02,500 --> 00:33:05,948
Okay. So if you've met me and

540
00:33:06,004 --> 00:33:09,564
you spent some time with me, you'll know that that's

541
00:33:09,612 --> 00:33:12,828
not what I'm here for. Because.

542
00:33:12,884 --> 00:33:16,738
Yeah. My tone, especially about subjects like this, does come across.

543
00:33:16,874 --> 00:33:20,098
We're probably going to hear this and be like, damn,

544
00:33:20,194 --> 00:33:23,922
girl, you sounded harsh. Oh, yeah, no, I'm sure we're going to hear about this

545
00:33:23,946 --> 00:33:27,602
one. But if you know me, if you truly know me,

546
00:33:27,706 --> 00:33:30,110
you know that there's nothing behind it but love.

547
00:33:30,410 --> 00:33:34,354
Yeah. But it is something I'm very passionate about.

548
00:33:34,442 --> 00:33:37,310
Like, I have to take care of my women.

549
00:33:37,850 --> 00:33:41,710
Yeah, well, I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, that's something I'm very,

550
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:45,432
very like. Eh. I mean, we want

551
00:33:45,456 --> 00:33:48,440
them to have a safe space. We need to feel safe.

552
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:52,216
Yes. And I. I've been told I

553
00:33:52,288 --> 00:33:55,912
am unapproachable. I come

554
00:33:55,936 --> 00:33:59,820
off like a hard ass or really bitchy

555
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:03,656
because of the things I have been told that.

556
00:34:03,808 --> 00:34:06,020
The things I say, the things I post.

557
00:34:07,450 --> 00:34:10,738
I'm gonna say it like this and it's probably gonna come off

558
00:34:10,794 --> 00:34:14,226
like a. But I don't care. I don't care.

559
00:34:14,378 --> 00:34:17,730
I don't care. If you're listening to me on the podcast and

560
00:34:17,770 --> 00:34:21,110
you don't like me and you like Adam more because he's more gentle.

561
00:34:21,530 --> 00:34:24,978
That doesn't matter to me. If it's something I'm passionate about and

562
00:34:25,034 --> 00:34:27,922
something I really, really, really want to get across.

563
00:34:28,106 --> 00:34:31,790
That's my only way to get across, like, for me to express it is

564
00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:35,695
tell everybody, you know? I don't know.

565
00:34:35,767 --> 00:34:38,943
Does that, does that. Does that sound mean? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

566
00:34:39,071 --> 00:34:42,299
That actually sounded pretty mean. Yeah. I mean,

567
00:34:42,599 --> 00:34:46,335
if you met me and you know me, you know that I'm

568
00:34:46,367 --> 00:34:48,899
nothing but sweet. Yeah.

569
00:34:50,439 --> 00:34:53,759
That was a pause. Yeah. Yeah. Am I not sweet?

570
00:34:53,839 --> 00:34:57,295
Oh, man. So much so. I mean, am I Am I not?

571
00:34:57,367 --> 00:35:00,575
I mean, honestly. I mean, you're not doing much for your own public

572
00:35:00,647 --> 00:35:04,816
relations here. You know, first of all, there's, there's softer

573
00:35:04,848 --> 00:35:08,336
ways to say things than that. That's a little harsh. What part?

574
00:35:08,488 --> 00:35:12,080
Well, you don't have to be so harsh about it. Realistically,

575
00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:16,320
you don't care and that's fine. Oh, that part, that's fine.

576
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:20,080
Yeah. You know that you don't, you don't have to care about what

577
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,360
other people think about you because that's what we're, we're not, we're not

578
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,448
here for that. Right. I mean, I am actually, because I. I like,

579
00:35:26,504 --> 00:35:29,360
that's your personality. I like acceptance. Whatever it is what it is.

580
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,960
But I, I understand where you're coming from on that.

581
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,096
But to come out and just say, hey,

582
00:35:36,128 --> 00:35:39,696
well, I don't care about you. Well, I mean that's

583
00:35:39,728 --> 00:35:43,792
not, that's not the. What I said though. It's why I started it with.

584
00:35:43,976 --> 00:35:48,112
I know this is probably going to be sound like a. But I

585
00:35:48,136 --> 00:35:51,780
don't care. Okay. So Mr.

586
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,792
I'm just saying clean your ears. And now everyone's going

587
00:35:55,816 --> 00:35:59,056
to get to hear that. Wait, she didn't sound sound like that. Thank you.

588
00:35:59,128 --> 00:36:03,040
Please send them a message. Okay. No,

589
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,608
but honestly, if it's something I'm passionate about and

590
00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:10,300
I get perceived as, like you said, a hard ass or

591
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:15,072
whatever. Whatever you say. I just don't think,

592
00:36:15,176 --> 00:36:19,040
I think that there is a small percentage of people who

593
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,800
just don't care for stronger women. Maybe women

594
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:26,288
with a strong opinion. Yeah. Or very vocal women.

595
00:36:26,344 --> 00:36:29,500
I mean, it is what it is. There are just always

596
00:36:29,540 --> 00:36:32,604
prefer and. Oh, hello. Yeah,

597
00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:35,612
I am fully aware of that.

598
00:36:35,796 --> 00:36:38,760
But again, yes, yes. You don't care.

599
00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:43,148
We all got it. I mean, I don't know.

600
00:36:43,204 --> 00:36:46,652
I want, I want it to be a nice community and if I do

601
00:36:46,676 --> 00:36:50,492
sound bitchy, it's, it's, that's me.

602
00:36:50,676 --> 00:36:54,172
But, well, you know, it's, Consent is

603
00:36:54,196 --> 00:36:57,400
a very serious subject. Yeah. And you know, when you,

604
00:36:57,940 --> 00:37:01,080
when you lack it, it's bad.

605
00:37:01,540 --> 00:37:04,796
When you're being talked

606
00:37:04,828 --> 00:37:08,476
about by everybody because

607
00:37:08,548 --> 00:37:11,948
of your actions, then you're, you're doing something wrong.

608
00:37:12,044 --> 00:37:15,116
Like obviously you, you,

609
00:37:15,188 --> 00:37:19,260
you want to be, you know, that's stuff.

610
00:37:19,340 --> 00:37:22,892
Oh, it doesn't take much. You just come out and you say, hey, is it

611
00:37:22,916 --> 00:37:25,710
okay? And if you're told no,

612
00:37:26,090 --> 00:37:29,570
then you just accept a no and you walk

613
00:37:29,610 --> 00:37:32,930
away. Or you, you gracefully do whatever it is you

614
00:37:32,970 --> 00:37:37,090
do. Now if you're not asking consent

615
00:37:37,170 --> 00:37:41,842
because you don't want to be rejected Then obviously

616
00:37:41,906 --> 00:37:45,954
you see that somebody could reject you on that and you

617
00:37:46,122 --> 00:37:50,178
think that there's nothing wrong with you just going and bypassing that

618
00:37:50,234 --> 00:37:53,376
and just doing what you want to do. Obviously that's wrong,

619
00:37:53,488 --> 00:37:57,168
right? Obviously that's wrong. Yeah. But I will

620
00:37:57,224 --> 00:38:01,088
say there are certain cases where there are some people, and it's

621
00:38:01,104 --> 00:38:04,304
not just me that are, are, you know,

622
00:38:04,472 --> 00:38:08,128
kind of by way of don't ask me,

623
00:38:08,184 --> 00:38:11,392
just do it. Right. I've actually had a friend

624
00:38:11,416 --> 00:38:14,512
of mine, she, she told me that she was like, you know, I don't like

625
00:38:14,536 --> 00:38:18,236
it when guys ask. Don't ask me, just do it.

626
00:38:18,408 --> 00:38:22,068
Because there is something lost in the,

627
00:38:22,124 --> 00:38:25,332
in that moment of. And actually I've heard this from

628
00:38:25,356 --> 00:38:29,332
a few women, to be honest, that they don't.

629
00:38:29,476 --> 00:38:32,680
It almost kills the mood or kills the vibe

630
00:38:33,100 --> 00:38:36,036
to be asked, like, period,

631
00:38:36,188 --> 00:38:39,940
period. You've just met them. Say you just

632
00:38:39,980 --> 00:38:42,932
met them. They don't care, period. Wow.

633
00:38:43,076 --> 00:38:46,316
Yeah, I'd like to talk to these women. Oh, my goodness.

634
00:38:46,348 --> 00:38:50,236
I'm not. Hey, I don't reveal my sources, lady. Yeah, you do.

635
00:38:50,308 --> 00:38:53,420
All right. I was in journalism. I know how this goes. No, like,

636
00:38:53,460 --> 00:38:57,340
I, I, I would like to, like, ask in

637
00:38:57,380 --> 00:39:00,748
the scenario, I want to know the scenario, do you know what I mean?

638
00:39:00,804 --> 00:39:04,172
Like, I want to know if we're passionate. Well, I mean, that's assuming there

639
00:39:04,196 --> 00:39:07,804
is a scenario, you know. Very true. Not everybody

640
00:39:07,932 --> 00:39:10,844
has had the opportunities to have it happen to them.

641
00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:14,684
Oh, yeah. I mean, I get it. You know, if you're having

642
00:39:14,772 --> 00:39:18,524
sex and it's like, you don't have to ask me. You just

643
00:39:18,692 --> 00:39:22,280
do it or make the first move. That I understand.

644
00:39:22,980 --> 00:39:26,876
But just meeting somebody, I don't

645
00:39:26,908 --> 00:39:30,268
understand that. I'd like to, I'd like to get,

646
00:39:30,324 --> 00:39:33,916
I'd like to know why is it a turn on?

647
00:39:34,068 --> 00:39:38,156
Because then I understand. Hey, man, you know what I mean? Different strokes for different

648
00:39:38,228 --> 00:39:42,692
folks. Everybody's got a thing. Yeah. So I find that absolutely

649
00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:46,800
interesting. So I think consent is more a way of,

650
00:39:47,100 --> 00:39:51,720
you know, protecting yourself. Are there different consents?

651
00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:56,596
What do you mean? Like, are there different levels of consent? Different levels

652
00:39:56,628 --> 00:39:57,640
of consent.

653
00:39:59,660 --> 00:40:03,332
I, you know, I'm really racking my brain. I don't understand that

654
00:40:03,356 --> 00:40:06,240
question at all. You're going to have to help me out here.

655
00:40:06,540 --> 00:40:09,850
Do you have to give consent

656
00:40:10,350 --> 00:40:14,550
for everything? Like, can I reach

657
00:40:14,590 --> 00:40:17,382
out my hand? Because there's some people that don't like to be touched, period.

658
00:40:17,486 --> 00:40:21,382
Oh, yeah, yeah. So like, say you go to

659
00:40:21,486 --> 00:40:25,446
a meet and greet. Sure. Should you ask

660
00:40:25,518 --> 00:40:29,094
every single person if. You can shake their hand?

661
00:40:29,262 --> 00:40:32,582
Or give them a. I mean, I know the hug.

662
00:40:32,726 --> 00:40:36,262
I've seen it to where a person has extended their hand out to

663
00:40:36,286 --> 00:40:39,514
shake somebody's hand and the other person kind of puts their hands up like,

664
00:40:39,582 --> 00:40:42,722
ah, you know, I'm good. People who don't like to

665
00:40:42,746 --> 00:40:46,194
shake hands are normally prepared to tell people

666
00:40:46,282 --> 00:40:49,650
that they don't like to shake hands. You know, I've seen. I've even seen people

667
00:40:49,770 --> 00:40:53,266
pull out their hand and the person go in for a hug. Really?

668
00:40:53,338 --> 00:40:56,994
Oh, God. Many times. Oh, God. But this is regular. I think I

669
00:40:57,002 --> 00:40:59,630
might have done. Oh, I'm sure you've done that.

670
00:41:02,730 --> 00:41:05,430
Welcome to my health. Jeez.

671
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:09,848
Self realization. That sucks. I mean.

672
00:41:09,984 --> 00:41:13,256
No. Have I really? I don't think so. I hope not. No,

673
00:41:13,328 --> 00:41:16,488
I had the better. No, people usually. Can I. Can I get a hug?

674
00:41:16,504 --> 00:41:19,800
And you wait for an answer. You're not. Can I get a hug? No.

675
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,432
Yeah. No, no. Because I'm actually waiting for them to say no. Yeah. So that

676
00:41:23,456 --> 00:41:26,552
I can figure out how to tap. Yeah. There's only one person that's told you.

677
00:41:26,576 --> 00:41:29,340
No, really. She is not in the lifestyle.

678
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:33,464
She does not like bugs. Yeah, Classic. She's not

679
00:41:33,472 --> 00:41:36,632
a hugger. We give her hugs anyway. Yeah. She doesn't have a choice. See,

680
00:41:36,656 --> 00:41:40,168
that's consent right there. Violate her boundaries all the time.

681
00:41:40,224 --> 00:41:43,500
No, I mean, consent is sexy.

682
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:47,496
You know, consent and respect are sexy. It's very

683
00:41:47,568 --> 00:41:51,144
sexy when someone. So I am. I'm the opposite.

684
00:41:51,272 --> 00:41:54,552
If someone asks me, hey, can I give you

685
00:41:54,576 --> 00:41:58,066
a kiss? I like to. I like to say yes

686
00:41:58,098 --> 00:42:01,442
or no. You know, like, I find it very hot to

687
00:42:01,466 --> 00:42:04,402
be asked. I'm sorry. Whatever. The.

688
00:42:04,506 --> 00:42:08,082
The answer isn't what you want it to be, but it probably most likely will

689
00:42:08,106 --> 00:42:11,170
be a yes. But I think it's very sexy if you ask

690
00:42:11,210 --> 00:42:14,978
me. See, I think it's sexy if a girl asks me,

691
00:42:15,114 --> 00:42:18,610
but I also like an aggressive woman.

692
00:42:18,730 --> 00:42:22,530
I like a woman who goes out and gets what she wants. And if

693
00:42:22,570 --> 00:42:26,432
I'm what she wants and she just has to kiss me. So.

694
00:42:26,456 --> 00:42:29,888
Hold on. Guess What? Adam Jr. Is going to come out to play

695
00:42:29,944 --> 00:42:32,864
on that one, let me tell you. Because that's a turn on.

696
00:42:32,952 --> 00:42:36,000
I like to feel wanted. It's the, you know,

697
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:39,536
it's an open thing. It's an open thing. Open thing.

698
00:42:39,608 --> 00:42:43,232
Yeah. You know. Yeah. I'm not going to make a big thing about it.

699
00:42:43,336 --> 00:42:46,064
No. But that's me. That's me personally.

700
00:42:46,112 --> 00:42:49,792
Yeah. My opinion for everybody. See, where this and that

701
00:42:49,816 --> 00:42:52,676
right there. Nobody knows that. Nobody knows.

702
00:42:52,708 --> 00:42:56,052
Well, people listening right now. But Nobody knew that before. There's a couple people in

703
00:42:56,076 --> 00:43:00,036
Poland right now. Nobody knew that before. This is true.

704
00:43:00,148 --> 00:43:02,676
Because I've never been put in that position. Yeah,

705
00:43:02,788 --> 00:43:06,564
yeah. Wait, what position? Where people just randomly come up to me and kiss

706
00:43:06,612 --> 00:43:09,120
me. You've never been put in that position?

707
00:43:09,740 --> 00:43:13,204
No. Not until we started going to these,

708
00:43:13,372 --> 00:43:16,852
these little sexy nightclubs. Well, even meet and

709
00:43:16,876 --> 00:43:20,164
grades. Do I get kissed at meet and greets? Yeah.

710
00:43:20,292 --> 00:43:23,844
No, but, like, you don't get consent. No one asks you, can I kiss you?

711
00:43:23,932 --> 00:43:26,756
No, because they just kiss you, but. They don't know that. These lips are.

712
00:43:26,828 --> 00:43:30,596
They don't know that. Well, it's, it's different when it's. You can't

713
00:43:30,628 --> 00:43:34,052
say you like an aggressive woman that doesn't ask you consent. Yeah, you like an

714
00:43:34,076 --> 00:43:37,620
aggressive woman. But it's true. Just random

715
00:43:37,700 --> 00:43:40,756
drunk girl is passing by. Well, you,

716
00:43:40,828 --> 00:43:43,636
you threw in drunk. I am not that. I mean, come on,

717
00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:47,228
I'm not one for drunk, you know,

718
00:43:47,364 --> 00:43:51,068
because then, hey, if they're drunk, you're not

719
00:43:51,124 --> 00:43:54,668
really getting. Consent, you know, So I feel consent on.

720
00:43:54,724 --> 00:43:57,532
I mean, that's. You, that's fine. You can wear a shirt that says no need

721
00:43:57,556 --> 00:44:00,844
for consent. But I feel like it's, it's a very,

722
00:44:00,932 --> 00:44:04,588
it's very sexy. It's, it makes

723
00:44:04,644 --> 00:44:09,132
me feel respected, which is very.

724
00:44:09,316 --> 00:44:13,132
See, I, I dig that. I understand that. Yeah. Like, I feel like if

725
00:44:13,156 --> 00:44:17,020
a man is asking me, hey, can I kiss you? I'm like,

726
00:44:17,060 --> 00:44:20,732
oh, my God, yes. What else do you want to do?

727
00:44:20,836 --> 00:44:24,540
I will tell you. It, it took me a while to feel comfortable being

728
00:44:24,580 --> 00:44:28,332
able to ask that. Yeah, that, that's because you don't like rejection.

729
00:44:28,396 --> 00:44:31,916
I don't. And, and so that's a very nerve wracking

730
00:44:32,108 --> 00:44:35,468
kind of thing for me to, to ask that. And,

731
00:44:35,524 --> 00:44:38,172
and I, I was even telling a friend of mine this weekend, I said,

732
00:44:38,196 --> 00:44:41,870
you know, it's. I fear rejection so much

733
00:44:41,910 --> 00:44:44,478
that I don't even try. I'm just like, I'm just gonna be your friend.

734
00:44:44,534 --> 00:44:47,886
I'm not even gonna try. Yeah. You know, that's how much I don't

735
00:44:47,918 --> 00:44:52,110
want to be rejected. But 2025, Adam is

736
00:44:52,150 --> 00:44:56,398
the confident Adam. And let me tell you something, lady, I am

737
00:44:56,454 --> 00:44:59,854
confident enough to ask a girl if I can kiss her.

738
00:44:59,942 --> 00:45:02,450
Yeah. And when she says yes,

739
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:06,720
I am gonna go up to her and I'm gonna say, ma'am,

740
00:45:07,300 --> 00:45:10,120
can we walk outside of this Walmart first?

741
00:45:10,580 --> 00:45:14,172
You know what I'm saying? Because then those Walmart gals,

742
00:45:14,236 --> 00:45:17,068
they're fine. They're fine.

743
00:45:17,244 --> 00:45:21,036
They're Little pajamas. Little Cookie Monster pajamas.

744
00:45:21,228 --> 00:45:24,588
Yeah. You know, there is something wrong with you. I like them Walmart

745
00:45:24,604 --> 00:45:28,060
rats. What can I say? No. You know,

746
00:45:28,100 --> 00:45:31,436
I just, I'm sorry, I have to lighten it up because goodness gracious,

747
00:45:31,468 --> 00:45:34,860
I, I do agree with you. Consent is a very, very major,

748
00:45:34,980 --> 00:45:38,348
heavenly major subject. And I

749
00:45:38,404 --> 00:45:41,612
think that it's big that we should be

750
00:45:41,716 --> 00:45:45,420
having this discussion. Yeah. I'm sorry if it comes off very heavy.

751
00:45:45,500 --> 00:45:48,908
I am, I'm a very, I'm a very passionate person about certain

752
00:45:48,964 --> 00:45:52,636
things. I don't argue with you. I don't, I don't really.

753
00:45:52,708 --> 00:45:55,340
I'm very. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what I mean? Like, I. And like,

754
00:45:55,380 --> 00:45:59,354
if, if we listen to other. Listened to last Sunday's

755
00:45:59,402 --> 00:46:02,938
show. I don't really argue with you right this. And I don't really

756
00:46:02,994 --> 00:46:06,794
sound usually very harsh, but when it's something that I'm very passionate

757
00:46:06,842 --> 00:46:10,154
about, it comes out in every

758
00:46:10,242 --> 00:46:13,722
sense of my body. Like, sure, you know.

759
00:46:13,826 --> 00:46:17,162
No, I know. I've seen it. I've seen it

760
00:46:17,186 --> 00:46:20,714
firsthand many a time. Yeah. I mean, because we have a lot of newbies,

761
00:46:20,762 --> 00:46:24,080
we have a lot of new friends, a lot of new people that come into

762
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,840
the community all the time. It's like consent.

763
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:32,420
Even if you're in the bedroom, even if you're intoxicated,

764
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,256
no matter what, consent. Ask,

765
00:46:36,408 --> 00:46:39,792
ask. Because you never know if they're having a

766
00:46:39,816 --> 00:46:43,488
bad day or they could stab you or

767
00:46:43,544 --> 00:46:45,700
poke your eye out. Oh, my goodness.

768
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:50,570
Very violent with that one. Well, you know,

769
00:46:50,610 --> 00:46:53,802
it's. It is, like I said, it's very nerve wracking. Yeah.

770
00:46:53,866 --> 00:46:57,754
To put yourself out there to ask that question.

771
00:46:57,842 --> 00:47:01,082
But what I'm realizing is, and, and a lot of

772
00:47:01,106 --> 00:47:04,426
you guys, your, your ears need to perk up. Because what I'm realizing

773
00:47:04,458 --> 00:47:08,270
is, is that there's a lot of women in this lifestyle

774
00:47:08,610 --> 00:47:12,842
who will give you a shot just

775
00:47:12,946 --> 00:47:17,370
for showing the respect of asking consent.

776
00:47:18,510 --> 00:47:22,326
It raises your bonus points up about 20 notches

777
00:47:22,358 --> 00:47:25,686
with most women. Yes. Where maybe

778
00:47:25,718 --> 00:47:29,910
they weren't even fully attracted to you. You just asked if

779
00:47:29,950 --> 00:47:33,290
it was okay and all of a sudden she's going. Oh,

780
00:47:33,630 --> 00:47:37,222
okay, thank you. Yes. And, and I, I know that's not

781
00:47:37,246 --> 00:47:40,700
just you. I've heard this from several different women

782
00:47:40,870 --> 00:47:44,352
that it's like, oh, you know, if, if somebody came at

783
00:47:44,376 --> 00:47:47,616
me like that. That is extremely sexy. It is.

784
00:47:47,688 --> 00:47:51,328
And most of the time, nine times out of 10, your answer's

785
00:47:51,344 --> 00:47:54,112
gonna be a yes just because you asked,

786
00:47:54,296 --> 00:47:57,376
which I think is incredible. We're all here for fun.

787
00:47:57,448 --> 00:48:00,960
Yeah. Just Consensual fun. Yeah. So,

788
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,960
yeah. And so that's really where it made it easier for

789
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,690
me because I made that realization. I was like, holy crap.

790
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:11,766
Yeah. I mean, I even asked guys, I'm like, hey, can I kiss

791
00:48:11,798 --> 00:48:15,590
you? Yeah, you do. I'll ask the wife. Well, you shouldn't be hypocritical.

792
00:48:15,670 --> 00:48:19,130
So, yeah, yeah. I asked the wife, hey, can I kiss your husband?

793
00:48:19,550 --> 00:48:23,382
Or whatever? Because you never know. Right, right. And so it's like

794
00:48:23,566 --> 00:48:26,902
I, I ask. Yeah, I, I asked too. I'm like,

795
00:48:26,926 --> 00:48:30,758
hey, can you pass that sandwich over there? It's a good looking sandwich.

796
00:48:30,934 --> 00:48:33,728
So we did it, that party one day. Yes.

797
00:48:33,854 --> 00:48:36,652
Yeah. Everybody was having some fun in there, in the kitchen. I was like,

798
00:48:36,676 --> 00:48:39,948
hey, can you pass that sandwich over there? Sandwich looks mighty good.

799
00:48:40,004 --> 00:48:43,820
It was delicious. That was some good stuff. That was some good

800
00:48:43,860 --> 00:48:46,940
stuff. It was. Yeah. You know, so, so I,

801
00:48:46,980 --> 00:48:50,652
I know that we've had our own run ins with consent

802
00:48:50,716 --> 00:48:53,880
issues. Yes. But what would you say

803
00:48:54,260 --> 00:48:57,708
is like, is it just in person,

804
00:48:57,844 --> 00:49:01,330
that consent or what would it apply to an online

805
00:49:01,870 --> 00:49:04,902
situation as well? Like, I know we belong

806
00:49:04,966 --> 00:49:08,422
into some Facebook groups and some of them really push

807
00:49:08,486 --> 00:49:13,334
the notion that you shouldn't send unsolicited messages or

808
00:49:13,422 --> 00:49:16,614
unsolicited friend requests. You know, they have friend. You know,

809
00:49:16,702 --> 00:49:20,406
they have rules like that where you have to ask

810
00:49:20,478 --> 00:49:24,022
consent before you can even do that stuff. Yeah. I was the same. I was

811
00:49:24,046 --> 00:49:27,126
the same way. Yes. I, I. So I don't

812
00:49:27,158 --> 00:49:31,910
friend people unless I met them. Yeah. And I,

813
00:49:32,030 --> 00:49:36,454
Even if I, and if I do, I make them run around loops,

814
00:49:36,502 --> 00:49:39,930
hoops, just to get to be my friend. Yeah.

815
00:49:40,510 --> 00:49:42,690
Which works. Yeah. But.

816
00:49:44,750 --> 00:49:48,054
I mean, so. Because we've had this discussion before,

817
00:49:48,222 --> 00:49:52,218
because when we first started joining these groups and they had these different

818
00:49:52,274 --> 00:49:55,434
rules out there and I had to actually tell you, hey, you can't just send

819
00:49:55,482 --> 00:49:59,498
messages. You have to ask. You have to ask. And sometimes

820
00:49:59,594 --> 00:50:02,746
you would put in a comment, hey, is it okay? And then you'd

821
00:50:02,778 --> 00:50:05,770
never hear back. And you're like, this is. I'm just gonna send me, man.

822
00:50:05,810 --> 00:50:09,802
I never hear back. So you did your things. Yeah. Where you were

823
00:50:09,826 --> 00:50:13,386
just like, forget this. I'm just gonna do it. Yeah. And. And I'm just gonna

824
00:50:13,418 --> 00:50:16,586
message. And I think for the most part now you pretty

825
00:50:16,618 --> 00:50:19,994
much will ask, is it okay if I dm? Yeah.

826
00:50:20,122 --> 00:50:23,146
But sometimes you'll just shoot somebody a message. Yes.

827
00:50:23,338 --> 00:50:26,090
So would you say it applies to.

828
00:50:26,210 --> 00:50:29,550
It should. It should definitely apply online. Okay.

829
00:50:29,890 --> 00:50:33,706
But if you put on a post that you don't care, like You?

830
00:50:33,778 --> 00:50:37,258
Yeah, People put open. Oh, I do open dms.

831
00:50:37,354 --> 00:50:40,634
Right, Whatever. Because I'm a non consent person. You need to

832
00:50:40,642 --> 00:50:43,594
stop saying that. Well, I'm just saying it's for me. It's my own personal choice.

833
00:50:43,642 --> 00:50:46,122
My body, my choice. So they don't have to ask you for anything. They can

834
00:50:46,146 --> 00:50:49,436
just do it. Well, why don't you gotta put it. There you go.

835
00:50:49,588 --> 00:50:53,356
Don't be maniosa. Okay? Don't go

836
00:50:53,428 --> 00:50:56,492
there, okay? Because I'm gonna be like, he's down for whatever.

837
00:50:56,636 --> 00:50:59,772
You don't have to. First of all, you just zip it. You don't have

838
00:50:59,796 --> 00:51:02,220
to ask him anything. I'm gonna say, I don't know who this woman is.

839
00:51:02,260 --> 00:51:05,468
I am not with her. Even when I'm in her. Really?

840
00:51:05,524 --> 00:51:08,332
I'm gonna have the key to your chastity belt. How are they going to take

841
00:51:08,356 --> 00:51:11,596
it off? How are they going to take it off? They're just regular.

842
00:51:11,708 --> 00:51:14,706
I own the key. There's. There's no luck.

843
00:51:14,818 --> 00:51:17,778
It's just underwear. They don't have to ask you for permission.

844
00:51:17,954 --> 00:51:21,430
Ask his owner. Oh, goodness.

845
00:51:22,090 --> 00:51:25,890
Wow, you are feisty.

846
00:51:25,970 --> 00:51:29,906
I am. You're gonna have to. Okay, well, that's gonna happen now.

847
00:51:29,978 --> 00:51:33,314
Yeah. With that, I think we're gonna wrap because. Wait, but you

848
00:51:33,322 --> 00:51:36,290
need to ask me consent before we go at it. Oh, no,

849
00:51:36,410 --> 00:51:39,972
no. I want to be asked right here. Hey, baby, can I have some

850
00:51:39,996 --> 00:51:43,524
of that? Absolutely, you can. You are so banging

851
00:51:43,572 --> 00:51:46,420
hot, man. Let's do that. Bang that hot out of you.

852
00:51:46,460 --> 00:51:49,412
Damn, girl, you better put that away. No,

853
00:51:49,436 --> 00:51:52,820
actually, don't put that away. All right, guys. Hey, thank you for joining us this

854
00:51:52,860 --> 00:51:55,924
week. We are gonna see you next week.