Podcast Therapy: Unpacking Hidden Desires and Missteps

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only.

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We explore topics surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships,

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and related subjects in an open and candid manner.

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Please be advised that we are not licensed marriage or sex therapists,

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and the content shared here is for entertainment and informational purposes

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only. If you are under 18 years of age or prefer not to engage

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with discussions about sex, relationships, or mature language, we strongly

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recommend that you refrain from listening further. However, if you are of legal

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age and comfortable with this content, we invite you to settle in and enjoy the

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show. Hello and welcome to Beyond Monogamy.

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I'm Adam. And I'm Pris. And, you know, I was sitting here, and I'm sitting

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here, and I'm sitting here, and, you know, we were talking and talking and talking,

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and we're trying to figure out all sorts of stuff, as a friend of mine

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likes to say, trying to figure out all the. The answers to the world's

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problems. And as we're sitting here, I'm thinking,

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we have a lifestyle podcast here,

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and there's a lot of people out there who are new to the

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lifestyle, and they've all got their own journeys that they've gotten

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started with. For whatever reason, whatever came up. You know,

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everybody gets introduced to the idea of swinging

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at some point or another. And for everybody,

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it's different. It's a different age when that term is

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introduced to them. Okay. And, you know, it's just kind of funny.

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Everybody has their own story on how they were first

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introduced to the idea of swinging.

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When was the first time that you really heard

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the term swinger? Like, when you really understood what that was?

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I was older and. And when you were first introduced to.

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It, So I knew people could have other

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relationships very young. Yeah. Because my

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aunt had. Was married. But every time

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we would go to my other uncle's house, her boyfriend would

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be there. Huh. And then I was like,

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okay, so who is this? But my uncle knew she had a boyfriend.

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It was. So it was kind of in the open. Yeah.

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And so we didn't, like, talk about

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him. I don't even know how it worked, but I knew that that could happen.

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And I was like, oh, that's weird. I just thought it was like a Sancho.

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I always thought it was just like a. Like a side dude, like, not in

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a relationship type of thing. I assume my uncle knew because everybody

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else knew. But anyway, so I was young, but, like, swinger. Swinger.

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I was way older. Is that right? I think I

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was. When we. When. When I started.

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When. When you were first into the.

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18 years ago. Yeah, maybe 19

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years ago is when I. When I realized what it was. What like

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really when it made sense what swinging was.

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And then you, you know, you get on the websites and you start looking around

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and I don't even know how it was introduced. I think I'm the one who,

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who said this would be fun to do.

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Like I think I might have said, I might have told them a story.

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Told him a story like I told you. And then

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that's it, man. Hook, line and sinker. You manipulate.

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You men are so easy. How dare you. Yeah, so it was,

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it was, it was brought up like that and I

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don't know, immediately kind of regretted it after

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our first playtime. Really? Was it that bad that. That you

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immediately regretted it? Did. Yeah. He was not the. For me

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to experience this with. It was a lot of shaming. So first of all,

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we were what we were the people

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that we do. You and I do not play with. How's that?

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We would go out,

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get smashed, and then

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find somebody to hook up with. I see. And then I

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would sober up in the, in the middle of whatever we're

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doing. Right. Because I was always driving. So I'd

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sober up, we'd take somebody home and then it'd be like shaming

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me afterwards. You were such a slut. Oh my God.

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You're such. You're. Oh, gross. You're freaking lesbian.

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Wow. So a lot of shaming like that. So. No, it wasn't a.

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Doesn't sound like a fun experience. Wrong person to start.

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Yeah. To start that with. Yeah. Yeah. How.

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How funny that. And you would think that. Well, I guess

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that makes sense. As to why. When, when I expressed interest

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in doing. It with you, I was very hesitant. You were very hesitant. Yeah.

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And I. It was also a lot of your experiences were

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foul. Yes. And the person I did that with was pretty much my rebound.

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Right. So still extremely heartbroken. Needed to

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do other things to distract myself. Sure.

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And I always hope that somebody would come and steal him away.

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Never happened. Wow. Yeah. So it.

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With you, how did you find. I mean you can you.

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I'm. Of course you knew what swingers were already. So, you know,

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my, my situation was weird because,

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you know, I was an over sexual kid,

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you know, so I was constantly watching hbo,

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real sex, stuff like that. Like I was very, very, very sexual.

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Right. And then one day I discovered my father's

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stack of Penthouse letters and he had,

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he had a magazine in that stack that

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was a swingers magazine. And I didn't,

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I didn't know what it was. And I remember reading some of the articles

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and, you know, by this time, I'm. Gosh, I must have been

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middle school age maybe, something like that. Yeah.

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And so I'm reading these articles and, you know,

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it's. It's explaining wife swapping,

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et cetera, et cetera, you know. Yeah. Lots of very

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explicit, kind of like Hustler. It was very

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explicit kind of photos, stuff you wouldn't fully see in Penthouse.

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It was very, very. Like they would show cum shots and things like that

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in the pictures. So did Hustler. I know. I used to love Hustler.

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Yeah, they were. They were extreme hardcore.

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And I remember in the back of this magazine there was a bunch of

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pages that had. They were basically personals, you know. Oh,

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yeah, our friend told us about that. Yeah. Which is. It was funny that I

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heard my. My friend say that, because I

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remember seeing that in the back of this magazine. There was. It was like a

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classified ads almost. You know, there was different personal ads.

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Right. And you could call a number. This particular one,

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you know, I think there was a couple different ones there, but each one

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had like a 1, 800 number. Or maybe it was a 1900 number.

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I think that made more sense. It was like a 1900 number.

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And essentially you. You create a voicemail box and

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people that you're interested in, in the personals had

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a mailbox number. And so you could call the number.

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Yeah. And it says, enter the mailbox number of the

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person you want to leave a voicemail for.

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And you'd put in their. Their box number and you would get

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their. Their greeting, whatever they recorded, either as a single

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or a couple. Yeah. Explaining who they are, et cetera.

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And you. You essentially, that was as.

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That was as social media as it could get at

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that time back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. Because you. You could check your.

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Your box messages. Yeah. And. And that sort of thing. And,

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and hook up that way. Yeah. And so that's how you start communicating

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with these people. And I thought that was. That was interesting. And that's really where

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I first learned the idea. Then I started finding porno

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videos, and I found one of his porno videos

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that the idiot left in the vcr.

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And it was a Swingers an.

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An Intro to Swinging video. I'm sure he was a swinger.

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I know. So I found out more about this, and I'll get to that in

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just a second. Okay. But it was basically an Intro to

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Swinging kind of video. It was this couple. It's a.

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And it's It's a porn that's set in the 80s so

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it's dated and it's this, this couple and they're

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doing exactly as I said that they're mailing

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off whatever. It's a swingers ad that they're responding to

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because the wife and the husband had this conversation while they're having sex and it

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was a real turn on. So they end up hooking up and the porn is,

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revolves around them hooking up with these two different couples

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at two different times. But in between the sessions

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and before and after, they're always with each other having

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sex and literally talking about it while they're

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having sex. Okay. Wow, how revolutionary. Because you know what? That's my,

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right there. That cuts me off. I know. And you and I do

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that quite a bit. Yes. Anyways, sidetracked. Moving on.

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So there's, I see these,

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this porn and you know, it all kind of really

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starts to make sense and I'm like, oh, okay. I guess my dad has a

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thing for, for wife swap or swinging or whatever.

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Yeah. Hey, fantasies are fantasies. Whatever. Don't, don't yuck another guy's

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yum. Right. So the years pass on

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and my father, it's very

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obvious that he's not on the

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up and up as far as loyalty to my mother.

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They often fight about, you know, cheating.

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My mother's always claiming that my dad is cheating.

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My father leaves for work every

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morning at like 5 in the morning and he doesn't come home till like 8

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o' clock, 9 o' clock at night. Sometimes it's always, oh, I'm working late.

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And it, and it is

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at his job, you know, from a kid perspective,

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you know, where he worked, they did, they did

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operations 24 hours sometimes. So it sometimes

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made sense, but other times it didn't. You know, he used

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to take a lot of weekend trips to Houston. I think we're having a

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therapy. Chicago. Well no, no, no, it's just,

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it's just it, but it all applies, you know. So this is how

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this is, this is your story on how you learned about. Yeah.

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So it has now become a therapy session for you. Go ahead.

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So he took a lot of trips, do it to it, you know, weekend trips

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to different towns, you know. Yeah. And the idea

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here was, oh well, I'm, I'm, you know, taking a tour of this plant

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and I'm meeting with these people here and this and that.

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Now as an adult, looking back on it, it all sounds like absolute.

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Yeah. Eventually I, I, I grew

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up, you know, I got older. It sounded fishy. When I was younger, I grew

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up, I got older and I ended up. In that

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time when I was getting older, we had a very. I don't

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know, some, some sort of computer that it seemed

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new, but it wasn't where we are with computers today, you know. Right,

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right. And my father was not always the smartest

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technologically. Okay. And so

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we were not hooked through the Internet. You know,

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back then you had to be hooked through. Through a phone line, a phone line

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through your modem and, you know, you had to have an

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email address like gmail.com. of course,

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Gmail. It wasn't Gmail back then, but like MS, what was it?

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Inbox.com or, you know, different. Different ones. Okay. You know,

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there was different ones, there were older ones, prodigy, aol.com, things like that.

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Like you needed a program for it to have an email.

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So the one that was automatically installed with

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Windows was Outlook. In order to use Outlook back then,

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you had to have all of this stuff set up. You had to have your

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network set up. All this stuff that we

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did not have. So he thought that he was sending an email and

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it got saved in his drafts, I guess he thought it

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sent and it didn't. And I, being the curious kid

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that I was, is going through stuff and I find this draft of an email

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that was written and it was from him to some

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couple and it was his stats

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that I now know now that we say often to our

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community members and then he proceeds to go on and talk

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about how he is well endowed and

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that he loves to also suck cock.

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And that. I mean, at that I

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was, I was, I had to have been about 16. Oh my God, when,

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when I saw that. And now. So he was this, he was. What do you

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call him? The Stags? No, what do you call, what do you call a

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single guy in the. A dragon? No. Yeah,

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A single guy in the, in the lifestyle that, that can go either way.

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I. I was told they're. They're called a dragon, but I don't know,

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but he was that. That's when I first

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discovered, you know, my father, that he was this big, burly,

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manly guy, very machismo guy,

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not the, the nicest man ever, as a matter

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of fact. I have a lot of bad things to say about him. But it

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is what it is. Anyways, what I'm saying is, is that I realized

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that my father was a closeted bisexual

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in a world of construction, you know what I mean?

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Which I found interesting. But it also was commingled in the

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swinger world. Because I think he was.

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He was in the swinger world. Yeah. But he was cheating on

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my mom. Yeah. We had discovered that he had been cheating on my mom

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for several years, and it wasn't until,

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gosh, after 35 years of marriage that they divorced.

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But he was cheating on her for most of that time.

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The real mind blow of it for me was that my mother cheated

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on him first. Boy, that story came out. That one

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00:15:22,890 --> 00:15:26,550
threw me off. But all of it is commingled into

232
00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:30,910
the swinger. The. The swinger lifestyle. Because I

233
00:15:31,410 --> 00:15:35,880
remember mom telling me that dad had talked about wanting

234
00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:39,320
to be a swinger, and she said, no, I have no interest in that.

235
00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:42,720
Yeah. And then she went on and cheated on him.

236
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,960
And then to get his revenge, he ended up cheating on her for much longer.

237
00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:50,080
Yeah. You know, how's that healthy?

238
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,240
I'm sorry? How's that healthy? And, you know, I grew

239
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:57,360
up with that. I grew up with the cheater in the household,

240
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:01,780
and I. And I really. I. I knew it, and I didn't

241
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:05,620
like it. I think that's how people see swinging at first when it's

242
00:16:05,940 --> 00:16:09,020
cheating. Yeah. Is. Oh, I can't. Because I remember thinking about it, I was like,

243
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,420
oh, I can't share you. I like you. Yeah. And so.

244
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:16,580
Yeah. And a lot of people feel like the whole

245
00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:20,780
sex thing is commingled with love, and they

246
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,820
can't really separate the two. And so it just becomes a.

247
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,280
A thing that people are like, oh, I can't do that.

248
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:32,120
How can you even have your spouse

249
00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:35,440
have sex with somebody else? Ugh. And then they turn around and they go cheat

250
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:39,160
on their spouse. Yeah. But even that, like, even if they don't go cheat,

251
00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:42,880
the thought of swinging is fun, but once you

252
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:46,280
get in it, sometimes you just don't know how to deal with emotions. And if

253
00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:49,920
you don't talk them through. Well, and that's the problem, is that there's a lot

254
00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:54,030
of emotionally inept people in the world that really don't

255
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:57,710
know how to have uncomfortable conversations. Oh, yeah. They don't know how to.

256
00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:00,750
How to speak their mind. They don't know how to openly communicate. They know how

257
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:05,350
to pretend. I deal with that every day. Yeah. Every day.

258
00:17:05,670 --> 00:17:08,869
Yeah. It's like, just say what you gotta

259
00:17:09,369 --> 00:17:13,390
say. I. You know, I. It's almost as if we as a

260
00:17:13,890 --> 00:17:17,590
people overthink and overthink and overthink about people's

261
00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:21,559
reactions. How are they going to react to this? Ooh. If I

262
00:17:22,059 --> 00:17:24,559
say this this way. Oh, yeah. I say it. That way and this and that.

263
00:17:25,059 --> 00:17:27,879
Oh, maybe I shouldn't say anything about it. I mean, as a woman, if.

264
00:17:28,379 --> 00:17:31,759
If a woman were to come up and be like. Or the man come up

265
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:35,239
to their woman and be like, I. I want to have a threesome. What,

266
00:17:35,739 --> 00:17:38,959
you don't like me? Am I not good enough for you? You know, you get

267
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:42,879
that insecurity. But I think if you tell a man,

268
00:17:43,679 --> 00:17:47,160
if, if the, if you tell the man, I. I want to

269
00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:50,680
have a threesome. I want to have another woman involved.

270
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,600
Yeah, well, see, so this is the issue that

271
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:59,280
I had was, you know, because being so over

272
00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:02,360
sexualized as a kid and always.

273
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,960
Or maybe not over sexualized. I don't think that's the right word. Hyper.

274
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:10,040
Hypersexual. I was hypersexual as a, as. As a. As a

275
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:13,520
youth. Here you go. I don't know where I got that word. I was hypersexual

276
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:17,900
as a youth. And so I was always. I always had pornography

277
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:21,500
around. I always had porn, and it was always VHS or dvd.

278
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:25,820
You know, I was old school because we didn't have. We couldn't download

279
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:30,380
it yet. And, you know, a lot of what

280
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,460
I saw on there was swinging stuff. Yeah.

281
00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:38,900
You know, I mean, a lot of porno mainstream involves

282
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,720
that kind of storyline at one point or another. It's like, oh,

283
00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:46,240
yay, say hello to so and so. This is my girlfriend. Oh, wow. Oh,

284
00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:49,880
you got nice, too. Yeah. You know what

285
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:53,400
I mean? Like, that actually sounded more like Seinfeld than anything else. But,

286
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,400
you know, I had these ideas early on,

287
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:01,640
and I knew that this was a thing, but it was kind

288
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:05,720
of like a shameful thing, of course. And it was never

289
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,830
really mainstream. I want to say it wasn't until

290
00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:14,910
the pandemic that it really started becoming more mainstream

291
00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:17,870
and more accepted.

292
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:21,630
Yeah. Around 2010. Yeah.

293
00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:24,990
Not 2010. Excuse me, 2020. What the hell?

294
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:30,190
Sorry. Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah. Around pandemic.

295
00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:34,310
Yeah. And it seems like almost everybody kind

296
00:19:34,810 --> 00:19:37,940
of said, okay, we've been stuck in this house. We are going to

297
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,860
try this now. I feel like we need to explore our options.

298
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,620
Yeah. You know what I mean? And, you know, it's good

299
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:49,940
for people and it's bad for people. Yes. I have talked to

300
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:54,220
people who. It has changed

301
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,380
their marriage in such a positive way. Hell, I think we could say that

302
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,150
it's changed our marriage in a positive way. Wow.

303
00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:04,870
Really? That was supposed to be. I think we had a date. Yeah. I think

304
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:08,830
we had a good marriage. Either way. It has. Yeah. No, I didn't say that

305
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:12,030
it was taking us from a negative to a positive. I'm saying that it,

306
00:20:12,350 --> 00:20:14,830
it impacted us in a positive way. Yeah,

307
00:20:15,230 --> 00:20:19,150
yeah, yeah. It made us better than we were.

308
00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:22,990
Yes. You know. Yeah. Because it forced us to.

309
00:20:23,470 --> 00:20:27,010
And we grew. I mean, we grew up just doing it because. Yeah.

310
00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:30,930
I mean, my sexual

311
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:34,930
encounters, I didn't have a lot. I was married. Yeah. And then

312
00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:38,610
married again and then you. That's true.

313
00:20:39,110 --> 00:20:42,729
So, yeah. Get to have all my fun now. You get to have

314
00:20:43,229 --> 00:20:47,250
all your fun now. And you know, it's not just sexual,

315
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:50,810
it's also changed your way of

316
00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:55,070
thinking and empowered you a lot, wouldn't you say?

317
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:58,790
Yeah, yeah. I'm more, I'm very vocal

318
00:20:59,290 --> 00:21:02,430
now. Yeah, yeah, I think that, yeah, it helped.

319
00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:06,190
You've learned to embrace your, your voice. Yes.

320
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:10,030
Yeah. You've learned not to keep so quiet. No.

321
00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:13,990
Yeah. And I think that's, I think those are all positive things. I think those

322
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:18,030
are positive impacts. Unfortunately, it's not

323
00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:22,430
always positive for people. No. I know

324
00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:26,990
that. It's not positive for people who have had past indiscretions.

325
00:21:28,110 --> 00:21:31,590
Well, that would be me. No, I mean in the

326
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:36,190
cup. I. Oh, oh, for. With the cup. Sure. I mean.

327
00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:40,550
Yeah, Well, I. For us, it started off like with so

328
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,470
many. We would always go backwards. It would be at

329
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:48,100
a certain point and then something would happen and we'd go backwards. Something would happen.

330
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,500
We'd go backwards. And so things like that. Yes.

331
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:56,180
But if you and I had like infidelity. Yeah. And then decided

332
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,420
we were going to do this, there's no way this would work. No, no.

333
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,660
And I, I've seen it time and time again where,

334
00:22:03,260 --> 00:22:06,140
you know, it's, it's difficult for the,

335
00:22:06,220 --> 00:22:10,300
you know, one of the members of the couple because

336
00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:14,990
the other member had a pass. Indiscretion a

337
00:22:15,490 --> 00:22:18,510
long time ago and it was something that stayed with them. And so then all

338
00:22:19,010 --> 00:22:22,630
of a sudden the insecurity is there. Yes. And it's deep

339
00:22:23,130 --> 00:22:26,790
rooted. And if they weren't in this lifestyle, it probably wouldn't

340
00:22:27,290 --> 00:22:31,150
really come up again. Yeah. But because they're in this lifestyle, it's up,

341
00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:35,830
it's in the forefront and they can either hold it in

342
00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:39,200
until it causes resentment and, and they

343
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:43,000
act out, or they can say, okay,

344
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:46,080
yeah, no, we, we can't do this, we're done. For us.

345
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,440
It'S hard to walk away. Yeah. Some people find it very hard

346
00:22:51,940 --> 00:22:55,600
to walk away. Sure. It's. I, I mean,

347
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,440
I remember trying to walk or we walked away and then I

348
00:22:59,940 --> 00:23:02,880
was like, oh, can we do this.

349
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:07,250
Yeah, I remember you had discussion with me. Yeah, I mean, I felt

350
00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:11,130
like we could do it. Yeah, we can. But you felt like that when

351
00:23:11,630 --> 00:23:14,370
we stopped being poly too. You were very worried about whether or not I could

352
00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:18,730
do it. You know, I'm also at that point where it's

353
00:23:19,530 --> 00:23:23,290
just take it or leave it. Life is life. Life is life. Life is

354
00:23:23,790 --> 00:23:27,210
life. You know, we're. We're both on the same ride. We are,

355
00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:31,520
we're taking it together, we're having a good time. What the hell, I can pull

356
00:23:31,750 --> 00:23:34,790
you off anytime. And likewise. Yeah,

357
00:23:34,870 --> 00:23:38,110
likewise. That's the good part about it. But you know what's awesome

358
00:23:38,610 --> 00:23:41,670
is that we're just growing. Oh, for sure. You know, everything that we're doing,

359
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:45,430
we're growing with it. You know, there's new experiences that are coming up every day.

360
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:48,390
You're getting better at flirting with women, I gotta tell you.

361
00:23:48,710 --> 00:23:51,950
I am. You are. Yeah, you are. There's something that has

362
00:23:52,450 --> 00:23:56,190
happened recently that just seems to have boosted your confidence a

363
00:23:56,690 --> 00:24:00,840
bit. Yeah. And giving you that, like when it's reciprocated and that's

364
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:04,760
been happening too lately, hasn't it? Isn't that something? I know,

365
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,520
yeah. Confidence is sexy, mon ami. It is, yeah.

366
00:24:09,020 --> 00:24:12,560
I'm aware. Yeah. You need to wear that color more often because it looks good

367
00:24:13,060 --> 00:24:16,440
on you. So. Yeah, no, being introduced has definitely

368
00:24:16,940 --> 00:24:20,040
introduced in swinger worlds. It's definitely an up and up. Well, you know, you,

369
00:24:20,540 --> 00:24:24,520
you hear different stories. That's always my favorite icebreaker

370
00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:28,800
when talking to a new couple is how did you get introduced into

371
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:32,960
the lifestyle? And some of the stories you hear

372
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,280
are fucking zany.

373
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,360
Like we have heard some crazy friggin stories.

374
00:24:39,599 --> 00:24:42,640
And then we've heard other stories that have just been so,

375
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,920
you know, we were just sitting up, something came out on TV and it

376
00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:50,750
was like, hey, you want to give this a try? Yeah, sure, why not?

377
00:24:51,070 --> 00:24:54,830
Why not? Let's do it. Let's try it. Yeah. And then,

378
00:24:55,330 --> 00:24:58,470
you know, there's other stories where it's like somebody's being chased with a knife and

379
00:24:58,970 --> 00:25:02,110
there's something going on and. Or somebody got arrested. You know, it's like you hear

380
00:25:02,610 --> 00:25:06,350
some crazy stories. Yeah. And everybody has a

381
00:25:06,850 --> 00:25:10,550
different story as to how they were introduced to the lifestyle

382
00:25:11,050 --> 00:25:14,390
the first time they hear about it. Some people are very turned off

383
00:25:14,890 --> 00:25:18,610
by the idea initially and then eventually comes

384
00:25:19,110 --> 00:25:22,530
to the forefront. Yes. Some people are very against it.

385
00:25:23,030 --> 00:25:26,410
And then they learn that when they drink, they become very bisexual.

386
00:25:26,490 --> 00:25:30,050
Yes. And very easy. Yes. And then they decide,

387
00:25:30,550 --> 00:25:32,970
oh, hell, somebody took me to A sex club. And I really liked it.

388
00:25:33,290 --> 00:25:36,570
We had a friend who said that she had.

389
00:25:37,130 --> 00:25:40,650
That she did. She had sex with women and

390
00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:43,610
that afterwards, when they were drunk, afterwards, it'd be like,

391
00:25:45,220 --> 00:25:46,820
if I was drunk, I wouldn't have done that.

392
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:51,540
I was like, weren't you at a swinger club? Like, that's gonna

393
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,580
happen. Well, you know, I remember when I was. Gosh,

394
00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:00,347
I must have been. I must have been about 16,

395
00:26:00,491 --> 00:26:04,260
17. And so

396
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,260
I'm in high school, and I was. I was one of those AOL

397
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,650
kids. You know, I was in the little chat rooms, clickety clack,

398
00:26:12,150 --> 00:26:15,370
clickety clack. And, you know, we would. We would have our

399
00:26:15,870 --> 00:26:18,930
little groups of friends, and. Yeah,

400
00:26:19,430 --> 00:26:22,770
cyber sex was a thing. It was. And I remember there was a

401
00:26:23,270 --> 00:26:26,970
girl that I started talking to, and we traded numbers and we started talking

402
00:26:27,470 --> 00:26:30,810
on the phone, and she, too. She went to a rival school,

403
00:26:31,290 --> 00:26:33,770
and I. We. We knew some of the same people,

404
00:26:34,330 --> 00:26:38,090
but we would talk on the phone quite a bit, and we would. It got.

405
00:26:38,590 --> 00:26:41,730
It would get sexual, and we would talk sex, you know, and we would have

406
00:26:42,230 --> 00:26:45,890
phone sex and that sort of stuff. And I remember her

407
00:26:46,390 --> 00:26:49,850
telling me about her parents.

408
00:26:50,350 --> 00:26:54,570
She said that her parents were swingers, and she

409
00:26:55,070 --> 00:26:59,450
said there was. There was a nightclub in our old neighborhood that

410
00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:03,970
shut down. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a

411
00:27:04,370 --> 00:27:07,610
Macaws or something. Yeah, yeah. And it.

412
00:27:08,110 --> 00:27:11,610
It was. It was a swingers club after hours is

413
00:27:12,110 --> 00:27:16,130
what she told me. And that she had found out she caught her parents

414
00:27:16,290 --> 00:27:19,850
in the act once with another couple, and that's how she found out

415
00:27:20,350 --> 00:27:23,210
that they were swingers. And then they were like, oh, well, we're busted. So this

416
00:27:23,710 --> 00:27:26,770
is out in the open now. This is what we do. So she knew about

417
00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:30,450
it, and I think it's because of that, as to why she

418
00:27:30,950 --> 00:27:33,270
was very overly sexual.

419
00:27:34,150 --> 00:27:37,350
Now, when. This is also the same girl that. When we would.

420
00:27:37,670 --> 00:27:40,870
We would have phone sex, and I mean, we. We were

421
00:27:41,370 --> 00:27:45,070
like, 17. We would have phone sex, and she would tell me

422
00:27:45,570 --> 00:27:48,670
to call her a dirty slut and a. And all this stuff,

423
00:27:49,170 --> 00:27:52,390
and I was, like, really uncomfortable with that. I was like, okay. You know,

424
00:27:52,890 --> 00:27:55,870
and then she would tell me, oh, and I'm gonna want you to. To shoot

425
00:27:56,370 --> 00:27:59,740
your cum in my hair. And I'm like, well, that would get sticky, wouldn't it?

426
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:03,700
You know, Like, I was just. She was. She was

427
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,740
on a. On a very advanced level. Yeah. From where I was.

428
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,460
Yeah. Sexually, I wanted to be where

429
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,420
she was at, but I was not there. No, I was not there, but I

430
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,980
Remember her telling me about that. That. That her parents were swingers and that they

431
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,860
would go to this bar and that after hours it became a

432
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:27,200
swinger's bar. And that that was believable because in that intro to

433
00:28:27,700 --> 00:28:31,520
swinging porn that I was telling you about, one of the scenes was that

434
00:28:32,020 --> 00:28:35,760
they go to this bar and the bar shuts down after hours.

435
00:28:36,260 --> 00:28:40,280
And the people that stuck around after hours, the bartender brings out these mattresses

436
00:28:40,780 --> 00:28:43,400
and sets them on the floor. And everybody just gets on the floor and starts.

437
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,800
Isn't that crazy? That's correct. That's fun.

438
00:28:48,300 --> 00:28:51,400
Like you've done that before. It sounds like get lost now.

439
00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:56,000
Would you ever do a key party? Maybe? Yeah. You think I'm down.

440
00:28:56,500 --> 00:29:00,080
I'm very transactional. You know, these things, they don't really happen very often. I mean,

441
00:29:00,580 --> 00:29:03,960
I think they're. They're more or less called. Now they're called down to parties

442
00:29:04,460 --> 00:29:08,720
or DTF parties. But this. This term swinging

443
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:12,600
was really first started back in the 40s

444
00:29:13,100 --> 00:29:16,240
and 50s. It was after World War

445
00:29:16,740 --> 00:29:20,800
II. And all of these soldiers came over and,

446
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,880
you know, they were kind of living their life, man.

447
00:29:24,380 --> 00:29:27,520
You know, they were doing their thing. And so that's where the. The term swinging

448
00:29:28,020 --> 00:29:31,200
came. Came from. And that's where it got introduced. Okay.

449
00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:35,240
And it kind of went from there. But these soldiers would come over and they

450
00:29:35,740 --> 00:29:39,680
would take part in key parties. That's where it started, these key parties.

451
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,370
And everybody would put their keys in. The guys would put

452
00:29:43,870 --> 00:29:46,570
their keys in the guy bowl, and the women would put their keys in the

453
00:29:47,070 --> 00:29:51,090
women bowl. And the guys would just pick out a set of keys. And that's

454
00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:54,410
the girl that they're taking to their room. Yeah. And the girl would go.

455
00:29:54,650 --> 00:29:58,170
And vice versa. That's the person that they would take to the room. And it

456
00:29:58,410 --> 00:30:01,690
didn't matter if you found them attractive,

457
00:30:02,170 --> 00:30:06,330
if you like personality. It was transactional.

458
00:30:06,490 --> 00:30:09,950
My kind of took them to the room, you. Their lights out,

459
00:30:10,190 --> 00:30:13,910
and then you moved on. There you go. Now, would you be able to do.

460
00:30:14,410 --> 00:30:17,630
That as long as everybody had good oral hygiene?

461
00:30:18,130 --> 00:30:21,190
Yeah. And everybody was clean? Yeah,

462
00:30:21,690 --> 00:30:25,070
I could really. I'm. I'm again, very transactional.

463
00:30:25,230 --> 00:30:28,390
Gosh, you know, I would. The. The thought excites me.

464
00:30:28,890 --> 00:30:32,990
I will tell you that. The thought excites me. The. The. The idea of.

465
00:30:33,070 --> 00:30:36,850
Of kind of being. You can't do that anymore. You used to.

466
00:30:37,170 --> 00:30:40,290
The. I'm saying the thought excites me. Yeah, but I'm.

467
00:30:40,370 --> 00:30:43,410
I mean, you jumped the gun. I was gonna say that too. I. I don't

468
00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:47,250
Think I don't know if I could rise to the occasion now.

469
00:30:47,750 --> 00:30:51,290
Hey, give me a Viagra. Well, yeah. And then. Yeah, easy peasy.

470
00:30:51,790 --> 00:30:55,170
Yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, you could rise to the occasion with a little

471
00:30:55,650 --> 00:30:59,130
help. It depends on. Not even with medication, like, well, if.

472
00:30:59,630 --> 00:31:02,740
I feel like this person's like, really going, okay, come on, man, get it hard.

473
00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:06,820
Let's go. We got to move. Like, if they're. If they're transactional

474
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,540
like you are, which is. Come on, bro, let's get this going.

475
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,860
I am not. I'm not going to feel very good about that. I'm not like

476
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,020
that. Okay, maybe you're not like that. I'm not like that,

477
00:31:16,260 --> 00:31:18,980
man. You've been there. Yeah, that's true.

478
00:31:19,380 --> 00:31:22,820
I am very sympathetic to men when they cannot get hard.

479
00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:26,420
Okay, but understand, you can't get hard.

480
00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:30,230
Don't over analyze a situation. Let's just

481
00:31:30,730 --> 00:31:34,030
sit back. It happened this weekend. Yeah. You know. Yeah.

482
00:31:34,530 --> 00:31:38,030
And I don't care. It was a lot of fun. Just chilling,

483
00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:41,630
relaxing, enjoying their company, you know.

484
00:31:41,870 --> 00:31:46,030
Boot got passionate for a second day. I did. You always get passionate

485
00:31:46,530 --> 00:31:49,710
with me, girl. You always get passionate. Oh, really?

486
00:31:49,790 --> 00:31:53,430
Yeah. Always, always, always. So you can flip the tables on

487
00:31:53,930 --> 00:31:57,660
me? Yes. Not even. Right? That's. That's the kind of relationship

488
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:02,220
we have. Whatever. That's how you can do me. Get passionate

489
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:06,180
on me. Don't get passionate on me, girl. Don't do that. That's not an unattractive

490
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:10,499
side of you. Excuse me? I'm just kidding. What did you just say?

491
00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:14,180
Oh, my gosh. I'm joking.

492
00:32:14,420 --> 00:32:18,020
Goodness gracious, man. Somebody took her serious

493
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,580
pills. You shouldn't have left your sense of humor at home, I got to tell

494
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,850
you. And we. Give me that look, girl. Keep it up.

495
00:32:26,050 --> 00:32:29,970
Keep it up. Let's see. I think that's a good indoor show,

496
00:32:31,170 --> 00:32:34,490
guys. Thank you so much for listening to us. I don't know why at

497
00:32:34,990 --> 00:32:37,250
this point you are still listening to us, but thank you for doing so.

498
00:32:37,730 --> 00:32:41,170
It's your therapy section. You are. That's why they want to.

499
00:32:41,330 --> 00:32:44,930
They love your voice. It's your therapy session.

500
00:32:46,450 --> 00:32:49,690
Thank you so much for joining us this week and we will

501
00:32:50,190 --> 00:32:52,510
see you guys next week. Bye.

502
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:32,040
Sam.