Opening the Relationship Doors: A Dive Beyond Monogamy

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Hi, everyone, and welcome to Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris. And this is our very first

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podcast that is lifestyle based,

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but not. Not just lifestyle based. It's really everything

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under the umbrella of monogamy. Something that we've

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talked about doing for several years and recently, because of the

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community that we're in, have been inspired to do. Yeah.

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So we're gonna delve into how we started,

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where we're at. Yep. And all of those little fun

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obstacles that you and I have encountered. Yeah,

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yeah. Because there's been several. It's so just a little bit of

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a background. We actually. We've been

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together 14 years, married 11,

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and we've been in the lifestyle about 13 years

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now, and it has been an

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interesting journey. Now we've been in the lifestyle for 13 years as a couple,

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but you were actually in the lifestyle previous to

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me, which is how we kind of got pulled into this.

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And so realistically, you have more experience than I do,

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would you say? Yeah. And how did. How would you say you got started

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in this? So I got started by. The partner that I

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was with was just, I think, interested.

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I was on a really good sex life. So I

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said, okay, let's try this. And so we did. And how

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we started was Adult Friend Finders.

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And I think there was another, like, website. We got in

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there, we found some couples. We found a club here in Austin.

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It's no longer here. And we just kind of went in

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and had some fun. So that was my first girl

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on girl experience. And I

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think we even did couples. A couple of couples. We went to a couple of

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parties. Okay. And stuff. So that's how we got started.

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It was not a good experience with him. So that

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you could say that that was a good case of a

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couple getting into the lifestyle that probably shouldn't. Have for the complete

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wrong reasons, really. I was not happy sexually with him.

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I was. He was kind of my rebound and I wasn't sexually fulfilled

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with him. And I wanted

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to try to be with girls. And so that's how it

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kind of. But yes, we went in it for the completely wrong reason. Every time

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we would play it, he was either drunk.

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And so that's when we would play. He would sober up and it

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would get messy. Yeah, it would get messy. So. Yeah. Well, so I

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know that when we first started dating,

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and literally like a couple months into it, you started telling me about

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how you liked girls and how you were. You had

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a past in the lifestyle that really

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kind of intrigued me. And I was instantly

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attracted to the notion of the lifestyle. Like, it sounded

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interesting. And I know that you had trepidations about it because of what

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you dealt with in the past. Yes. And so I think

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you were afraid that I was going to have similar reactions.

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Yes. Because. Because you were the first

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person that I ever actually came out to.

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Really. That I actually told, I am bisexual.

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I like girls. No kidding. I was the first person. Huh.

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I played with girls before that, but I think he just

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thought it was just. I was just playing. And then he's like a bi.

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Situational thing. Yes. Thank you,

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friends, for teaching us that new word.

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So. Yeah, you're the first person I ever came out to, period,

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like nobody else. Right on. I didn't know that. Yeah.

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That's interesting. And so once we started

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talking about it, I think we talked about it for about a year.

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Yes. Before we decided to start dipping our toes

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in. Yeah. Because I was scared. Yes, you were very scared. I was scared,

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too, because I hadn't had any kind of experience with that. As matter of fact,

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it took me getting with you to be more sexually experienced.

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Like, this is the most sex I've had in my entire life. Yes. We talk

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about. Yeah, it's incredible. I'm just. I'm banging

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chicks left and right. I'm just kidding. I'm not.

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She's me with different women. That's right. She's got

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different personalities. No, you know, it was.

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It was kind of scary at first when we first started talking about it,

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but I wanted to see first and foremost, because I had no experience

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how I would take to it. And so we got onto

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a couple of websites, adult friend, finder.com and swinglifestyle.com

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and we ended up finding a single guy

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and invited him over. And I basically

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just sat back and watched you play with him.

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And I remember as the

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very first moment when you guys started kissing, I had

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this very uncomfortable feeling, like, there's no going

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back now. Like, this is it. Like, there's no backing out.

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And you guys started making out and started getting very handsy.

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And then the uncomfortable feeling stayed, but it became a better

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uncomfortable feeling. Almost like the butterflies in the stomach.

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Like, wow, I. I really like this, but I don't know if I

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should like this, you know, and really, I just

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processed it. And then eventually I joined in, which was, it was

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a hot night, but going from that

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and realizing that I really, really enjoyed it to

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the next step, which was you inviting a friend over

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a girl to be with me. And so that you

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could watch her with me. Yeah. And that was an interesting

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experience. Yes. Yeah, that was really. That was really

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nerve wracking because I didn't mind sharing

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the last guy I was with because I. Again,

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sexually, not. Not fulfilling. Yeah.

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You I really liked, like,

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immediately. And I was like, oh, man, I don't want to lose

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this guy. I think that was probably one of our first disagreements

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in the lifestyle because. Coming to terms that I. That it

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was just a lifestyle that we weren't going to change,

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you know, how we felt about each other or

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how I didn't want it to change our relationship. Right,

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right. Oh, I know that you were. You were fearing that big time. Yeah.

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And so that took a lot for me to. To overcome and

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I still kind of struggle with that. But it's a lot of communication

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on your part and a lot of. And reassurance. Yeah, it. Well,

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you know, it was. That was really difficult

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because that's where I started to learn that

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you react or at least then you've gotten better about it.

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But back then you were very reactive.

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And I just remember, for those

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of you that don't know me, I tend to go

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multiple rounds and it's not a bragging thing, I swear.

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It is. It's. It is not a flex whatsoever. But I

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do. I. I can. I can orgasm and I can stay.

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Stay hard and keep going. And. And so I like to go several.

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Rounds, side note, without any type of enhancement.

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This is all natural. So I'm not bragging and

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you're not supposed to be bragging for me. Sorry. Anyways,

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so with that being said, I was with this girl and we

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had. I had my. My one round and then Pris started playing

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with her and I watched them for a little while and then I

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wanted to go a second round. I was turned on and I. I took my

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second round. And while I was in the midst

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of my second round, I got some very interesting looks like I

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was going to be stabbed. And she did not look very happy

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that I was in the second round. No, I was very butthurt. I was like,

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how dare you go a second round with somebody. Yeah, yeah,

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you should. One time is enough. Yeah, it seemed. And it was

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an issue. And I was like. And it was. That was

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not a fun experience. But eventually, over communication, we for

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sure talked it through A lot of rules. We had a lot of rules in

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the beginning. A lot of rules. Yeah, it was. It was a lot of

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silly. Now that we look at it, it's like we laugh at them

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because they were like really silly little. Oh, there's a lot of, a lot

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of different roles, you know, and, and everything has kind of

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faded as time has gone on, which is kind of nice.

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So after that experience with the,

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the girl, the single girl, we did a couple swap with

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some friends of ours who, who aren't actually in the

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lifestyle. They are actually just friends of ours that we go back.

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You know, I've known him since elementary and you've known her since

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elementary and they just so happened to be together, which was kind of interesting.

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But it's just one of those things where alcohol infused the

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sexual acts that took place that night. And so we did a couple swap

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and that was fun, but that's really where I started

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noticing in the community that we were in, in Corpus Christi at that

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time, almost everybody that we found were

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very interested in you. And I was just kind of

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like, oh well, we'll take him because that's what we need to do in order

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to get to her. Right. You know, which kind of lowered your self esteem.

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It did. Yeah. We didn't really play a lot.

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No. Because of, of that kind. And even I

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noticed it, that it. Was, it sucked, you know, it was a bummer.

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Yeah. Because you're my best friend and so like I want to do things with

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you. Right. I want you around. And so when I noticed

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that, I was like, well, I don't want to play. I mean,

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he's fun like, and you're like my toy,

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so. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know,

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and, and that was kind of the, the thing

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realizing that, you know, I understand that the lifestyle

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is very woman centric and that's cool. But one

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of my turn ons is knowing somebody

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wants me. Right. So if I'm going to play with somebody, I want

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to know that they want me just as much as I want them.

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And if I don't feel that reciprocation, it's really, really hard

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to perform because then I just feel like, oh, why am

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I even here? I'm just basically a living, breathing dildo,

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you know, which is not. That's not fun, you know,

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so that was the attraction. Like you want it back and

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forth. Yeah. You're attracted to them and it's kind of shitty when

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they're not. Yes. Yeah. And then you realize, oh, it's all about just

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one person. Not everybody's involved. It just, it was

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a bummer. And so I realized that and it did lower my self esteem and

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I think it affected us really playing very often when we

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were in Corpus Christi. But then we moved a

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few months before the pandemic hit. December 2019, we moved out of

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Corpus Christi over to the Buda area, which is

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South Austin area. And we were looking forward to it because we knew

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that there was a large lifestyle community out in

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the Austin area. And we had also heard that the San Antonio area

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was banging too. Yeah. No pun intended.

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And so we were looking forward to that. And of course, a couple months later,

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pandemic hit. We were all in lockdown. It was actually a couple of

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years before we could start meeting

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people. And I think that I kind of

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carried on that trepidation of, I don't know

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if these people are into me. It seems like they just want

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you. And so I was. I was kind of expecting that. And so

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that was something I had always dealt with. Yeah.

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But I'm kind of glad that we're in the community that we're in now,

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I gotta say. It's very welcoming. Oh, yeah.

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So this. Like, we have a lot of friends. Like, we don't have a lot

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of vanilla friends. We have. All of our friends are pretty much in the lifestyle,

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and they're so wonderful.

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Absolutely. I cannot believe that I actually find women that are like me.

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Well, see, that was something that we had talked about so many times, is that

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you are a very, very different personality from most ye.

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Yeah. So where you have a stereotypical

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type of person, you are pretty much very, very different.

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And especially when it comes to the lifestyle.

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Yeah. It's fair to say that you are. And I hate to use this

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term, but you're kind of a man hater in a way. Yes.

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And it. I don't. I don't know if that's necessarily the right term. You aren't

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a man hater. I like men, so I just.

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I went in it. In it for female

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play. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I've had men.

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And it's just not. You know, I have a guy. Like, why do I.

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Why do I want to have sex with another guy? Like, it's all good.

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But this community has totally

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changed my thinking, changed the way I approach things,

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because I was only really looking for women.

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I wasn't ever looking for men.

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And now I like both.

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That's interesting. Yeah. Because we. Realistically, when we

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did this together, that was your little engine, was that you

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were looking for a woman. You wanted a woman to play with. When we moved

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out here, we had just become poly

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in 2017, and we

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really experienced poly when we came out here and we started polyamory

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for the sheer Fact that you wanted. We wanted to see if

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you could experience a relationship with another woman.

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And so with that, we really

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kind of realized that you don't want

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a relationship with a woman as far as romantic is concerned.

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No. And I found that kind of interesting.

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So what would you say the

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reasoning is involved in you? I mean,

233
00:14:28,261 --> 00:14:31,413
I understand why you would find a woman attractive sexually

234
00:14:31,469 --> 00:14:35,221
and that would be really something that you're interested in. But what

235
00:14:35,253 --> 00:14:38,709
is it about the relationship part of it that really kind of

236
00:14:38,757 --> 00:14:40,025
swayed you away.

237
00:14:43,535 --> 00:14:48,795
For the poly part was the neediness.

238
00:14:49,135 --> 00:14:52,435
I didn't like to share my time. I didn't like the.

239
00:14:53,455 --> 00:14:55,995
I felt like when I was dating women,

240
00:14:56,775 --> 00:15:00,635
they really took on the Persona of

241
00:15:01,175 --> 00:15:03,807
a machismo man. Really?

242
00:15:03,911 --> 00:15:07,235
Yeah. And they were very.

243
00:15:07,895 --> 00:15:11,871
They wanted my attention. They wanted a lot of things like

244
00:15:11,943 --> 00:15:15,135
can you sleep over? And for me, that was my one

245
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:18,927
rule that I was not going to do. Everybody poly's different.

246
00:15:19,031 --> 00:15:23,063
Yeah. But for us, we were not going to be staying at anybody's house.

247
00:15:23,239 --> 00:15:26,783
Yeah. Only because we have kids. Like, we have kids. Yeah. So we

248
00:15:26,799 --> 00:15:31,183
made a rule like it was going to be something

249
00:15:31,319 --> 00:15:34,959
that we would entertain and try.

250
00:15:35,087 --> 00:15:38,663
And we did. We dated. We. We dated singles

251
00:15:38,759 --> 00:15:42,191
by ourselves. Like, I dated single women and I dated single women.

252
00:15:42,223 --> 00:15:46,663
We dated single women and then we went in dating together,

253
00:15:46,759 --> 00:15:50,727
women together, women together. And it

254
00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:54,023
was, it was interesting. Different experiences there.

255
00:15:54,159 --> 00:15:57,727
Well, you know, I think one thing was the women that you and I dated

256
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:01,023
together were primarily lesbian. Yes.

257
00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:03,665
Which was an interesting. Yeah.

258
00:16:03,825 --> 00:16:07,177
Experience for me because they either hadn't. Been with men or hadn't been with.

259
00:16:07,201 --> 00:16:10,601
Men in many, many years. Yeah. And. And that's

260
00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:14,405
kind of funny because I never expected

261
00:16:15,345 --> 00:16:19,305
full blown lesbians to want to even attempt someone like

262
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:23,689
me. But that was, that was a, an interesting experience. You're very charming.

263
00:16:23,777 --> 00:16:26,365
Well, thank you. That's very sweet.

264
00:16:26,745 --> 00:16:29,829
She's got me blushing over here. You know, it's.

265
00:16:29,957 --> 00:16:33,413
It was, I think, personally, I think Polly

266
00:16:33,469 --> 00:16:36,853
was good and bad in its own ways

267
00:16:36,909 --> 00:16:40,957
for us. Yes. And. And it, it works great for

268
00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:44,845
other people. Friends that are still poly. Yeah. And it works perfect. It works

269
00:16:44,885 --> 00:16:48,781
great for them. It. For us. We. It just didn't. No, it wasn't.

270
00:16:48,813 --> 00:16:52,885
It wasn't really for us. And, and primarily what, what made it difficult for me

271
00:16:52,925 --> 00:16:56,617
was I knew that you didn't really

272
00:16:56,681 --> 00:16:59,897
like it. I knew that you were struggling. We, I mean, she was going through

273
00:16:59,921 --> 00:17:02,417
menopause at the time, which was not the greatest time.

274
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:06,017
Polly. When I was living by myself here. Because you

275
00:17:06,041 --> 00:17:08,713
were living with the kids. I was with the kids in Corpus. We were trying

276
00:17:08,729 --> 00:17:11,977
to, we were for. About three, four months. I didn't have my

277
00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:15,673
kids, I didn't have my best friend, my husband. And so

278
00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:19,737
I was kind of depressed. I was going through menopause. You were dating in

279
00:17:19,761 --> 00:17:22,245
Corpus? I was trying to date out here.

280
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:26,504
And it was just a lot of different emotions

281
00:17:26,624 --> 00:17:29,832
that I was not ready for. And once it

282
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:32,464
all got evened out, I was like,

283
00:17:32,544 --> 00:17:35,592
okay, yeah, no, yeah.

284
00:17:35,648 --> 00:17:38,880
You know, and for me, just knowing that

285
00:17:38,912 --> 00:17:42,272
you weren't enjoying it was a difficulty for me.

286
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:46,552
Plus knowing that I was getting hit up and I was dating and you were

287
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:50,152
not, right. It felt very one sided and I didn't

288
00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:53,440
enjoy that either. And so all of that kind of stressed me out. But what

289
00:17:53,512 --> 00:17:57,453
really stressed me out was, you know, whenever I would date

290
00:17:57,509 --> 00:18:00,745
somebody, I would make it real clear to them ahead of time, look,

291
00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:04,861
I have very high priorities when it comes to my family. It basically

292
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:08,741
goes my kids and my wife, my job, and then you,

293
00:18:08,893 --> 00:18:12,197
I said, that means I may not see you for a couple

294
00:18:12,261 --> 00:18:15,853
weeks. We may not talk every day. Like, you have to understand that

295
00:18:15,869 --> 00:18:19,597
I'm transparent. I was very transparent. I wanted to over communicate that because

296
00:18:19,621 --> 00:18:23,603
I didn't want to lead anybody on. And I was told over

297
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:27,011
and over again, oh yeah, that's not a problem. Anytime I can get with you.

298
00:18:27,043 --> 00:18:30,843
Yeah, yeah. And, and of course it started out that way. And then as

299
00:18:30,899 --> 00:18:34,203
more time passes, the person would get clingier and clingier

300
00:18:34,259 --> 00:18:37,835
and the tone of the text messages and calls would be

301
00:18:37,875 --> 00:18:41,403
like, more, when are you going to

302
00:18:41,419 --> 00:18:44,539
see me? And why haven't you seen me in a

303
00:18:44,547 --> 00:18:48,139
couple weeks? How come we're not talking every day? And it's like it just got

304
00:18:48,187 --> 00:18:51,475
to be too much. I don't like the feeling of being

305
00:18:51,515 --> 00:18:54,611
smothered by someone, especially when it, you know,

306
00:18:54,643 --> 00:18:58,051
it's supposed to be fun. And if it's not fun, then it's

307
00:18:58,123 --> 00:19:01,163
not for me. And so because they wanted a,

308
00:19:01,219 --> 00:19:04,763
they. Wouldn'T really wanted a, like a

309
00:19:04,819 --> 00:19:08,419
really committed person to. Yes, them. So they

310
00:19:08,467 --> 00:19:11,787
really, they didn't want to be poly. Yeah. They wanted a

311
00:19:11,811 --> 00:19:15,605
relationship which, hey, I have a great relationship

312
00:19:15,645 --> 00:19:18,621
with you and you're my partner, so. And you're amazing.

313
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:22,541
Right. Who the heck wouldn't want to just have you to themselves? Well, you know,

314
00:19:22,573 --> 00:19:26,397
I can tell you that I, I, we have such a perfect marriage and

315
00:19:26,421 --> 00:19:30,253
a perfect relationship that I didn't want

316
00:19:30,309 --> 00:19:33,837
to have to put any kind of effort

317
00:19:33,941 --> 00:19:37,549
into a secondary relationship to make it perfect.

318
00:19:37,637 --> 00:19:41,127
Yeah, I was putting Every effort that I had into you and

319
00:19:41,151 --> 00:19:44,599
reassuring you and making sure that things are great between us, and it's a

320
00:19:44,607 --> 00:19:48,103
lot, because it's not just you. It's me and the kids, you know,

321
00:19:48,159 --> 00:19:51,515
and. And we have four at home. And I'm needy.

322
00:19:51,895 --> 00:19:55,535
And so are our kids. I am very needy. And my kids. Our kids

323
00:19:55,575 --> 00:19:59,263
are the same way. And, you know, just to give you an example,

324
00:19:59,439 --> 00:20:02,727
you know, if I leave for any reason in the evening

325
00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:06,143
and I'm not home for dinner, the kids are all up

326
00:20:06,159 --> 00:20:09,791
in our business, and they're like, where's dad? Where were you? And I have to

327
00:20:09,823 --> 00:20:13,103
come home. And I'm like, I was with a friend. Well, who's.

328
00:20:13,159 --> 00:20:16,319
Who's your friend? How come I. I thought you didn't have friends?

329
00:20:16,487 --> 00:20:20,159
And, you know, just, it's. It's an interrogation. And he tries to shut them down.

330
00:20:20,207 --> 00:20:23,487
But they're very persistent. They're very persistent.

331
00:20:23,551 --> 00:20:27,151
They want. They want us around. So it was hard. Yeah. But then we

332
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:31,407
ended it. Well, so, like, the kids knew. The kids knew that we were poly.

333
00:20:31,591 --> 00:20:35,559
And then five years later, we decided to end poly.

334
00:20:35,687 --> 00:20:39,879
We have a rule. It's one of our standing internal rules

335
00:20:40,047 --> 00:20:43,595
with the lifestyle, and we carried it on into poly, which is,

336
00:20:43,895 --> 00:20:46,983
if anybody, either party says,

337
00:20:47,159 --> 00:20:50,639
I don't want to do this anymore, then we walk away,

338
00:20:50,807 --> 00:20:54,727
no questions asked. And there was one day

339
00:20:54,751 --> 00:20:58,703
where we were having a very heated discussion, very passionate

340
00:20:58,759 --> 00:21:02,253
discussion. Yeah. And somehow in

341
00:21:02,269 --> 00:21:05,965
the midst of it all, you stopped and just kind of yelled out,

342
00:21:06,005 --> 00:21:09,245
I don't want to be poly anymore. Yeah. We weren't even talking. We weren't even

343
00:21:09,285 --> 00:21:12,797
having a discussion. It had nothing to do with that. I just. It was a

344
00:21:12,821 --> 00:21:15,665
moment of I need to get something off my chest.

345
00:21:16,325 --> 00:21:19,665
And I did. Yeah, you did. Because I had thought about that for

346
00:21:20,165 --> 00:21:23,245
a good while, at least a month before, and I had

347
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:26,821
debated in my head what. How I was

348
00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:29,837
going to tell you and what I was going to say, because I don't.

349
00:21:29,901 --> 00:21:32,797
I didn't want to ruin what you wanted.

350
00:21:32,861 --> 00:21:36,733
I wanted you to be happy. And so coming

351
00:21:36,789 --> 00:21:40,053
to you and saying that wasn't easy. And so when

352
00:21:40,069 --> 00:21:42,785
we were in the midst of a passionate discussion,

353
00:21:43,165 --> 00:21:46,253
that's the only thing that was floating in my head. We were, like,

354
00:21:46,349 --> 00:21:49,973
passionate about finances or something. Yeah. Yeah. And it had nothing to do

355
00:21:49,989 --> 00:21:53,187
with what we were talking about, but it was something. And so we.

356
00:21:53,251 --> 00:21:56,507
And you said. You looked at me and you're like, okay, yeah, yeah. No,

357
00:21:56,571 --> 00:22:00,131
there was no. No question about it. I was already stressing about it

358
00:22:00,163 --> 00:22:03,459
as it Was. And. And so it was just perfect timing because.

359
00:22:03,547 --> 00:22:06,859
And we ended our relationships on good terms.

360
00:22:07,027 --> 00:22:10,131
Yes. And. Yeah. And we kind of stepped

361
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:13,227
back from. The lifestyle period, just for a bit. And then we.

362
00:22:13,331 --> 00:22:16,491
We came back and talked about it, and we realized we wanted to keep the

363
00:22:16,523 --> 00:22:20,123
sexual dynamic of it. Yeah. But we didn't want the

364
00:22:20,179 --> 00:22:23,559
relationship, the ro. The romantic relationship. Yeah.

365
00:22:23,747 --> 00:22:27,255
And then as we went on, I started realizing,

366
00:22:27,335 --> 00:22:30,679
I need a connection. And I. I realized this when I was poly.

367
00:22:30,807 --> 00:22:34,687
I need a connection before I can sleep with someone. And I was very transactional.

368
00:22:34,791 --> 00:22:37,607
Yes. And you still kind of are kind of. I'm trying to be better about

369
00:22:37,631 --> 00:22:41,015
that. Yeah. It's kind of. You're very Terminator ish.

370
00:22:41,055 --> 00:22:43,927
You know, you just go in there and you take. We've already asked. And some

371
00:22:43,951 --> 00:22:47,111
people like that. Some people like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

372
00:22:47,263 --> 00:22:50,639
The people. For me, I. I like to have

373
00:22:50,687 --> 00:22:54,009
that camaraderie. I like to feel like we're

374
00:22:54,057 --> 00:22:57,529
friends before we even consider doing stuff

375
00:22:57,577 --> 00:23:01,305
like that, because it goes back to

376
00:23:01,345 --> 00:23:04,205
that. Want to feel wanted.

377
00:23:04,705 --> 00:23:09,297
If I'm friends with somebody and organically sex

378
00:23:09,361 --> 00:23:12,721
takes place, it's probably because they

379
00:23:12,753 --> 00:23:15,705
like me and they want to have sex with me. You know what I mean?

380
00:23:15,745 --> 00:23:19,245
It's not. It's not a. Oh, well, there's a guy sitting on my

381
00:23:19,285 --> 00:23:22,845
couch. He seems nice. Let me. Let me screw his brains out right quick.

382
00:23:22,925 --> 00:23:26,437
It's not. That's not. I don't like the transactional for me. Right.

383
00:23:26,501 --> 00:23:30,333
And so that's where you and I are kind of different on that. But luckily

384
00:23:30,389 --> 00:23:33,773
for us, like I said, we. We have a great community here. We've made a

385
00:23:33,789 --> 00:23:36,965
lot of really great friends. I don't know how we ended up

386
00:23:37,005 --> 00:23:41,117
in these groups, these Facebook groups. I think somehow

387
00:23:41,221 --> 00:23:44,943
it started. I think friend of a friend of a friend and started getting

388
00:23:44,999 --> 00:23:48,519
added. Somebody just. I think we. We were in one group, and then

389
00:23:48,567 --> 00:23:51,887
somebody else added us, and then another person added us. We ended

390
00:23:51,911 --> 00:23:56,103
up in a lot of San Antonio groups, and San Antonio

391
00:23:56,159 --> 00:23:59,863
is about an hour away from us. It is not the most convenient thing in

392
00:23:59,879 --> 00:24:03,847
the world. We couldn't really find anybody in our area,

393
00:24:03,911 --> 00:24:07,231
which was kind of problematic because we don't like to drive that far.

394
00:24:07,423 --> 00:24:11,307
But we started going to San

395
00:24:11,331 --> 00:24:15,411
Antonio. Yeah. And really what. What came about was,

396
00:24:15,563 --> 00:24:18,963
I have really bad social anxiety. I don't like

397
00:24:19,019 --> 00:24:22,495
crowds. I really don't like talking to people,

398
00:24:23,235 --> 00:24:26,603
which is hard for people to believe. If you know me,

399
00:24:26,739 --> 00:24:30,435
you probably have sat back and gone, man, this guy doesn't shut up.

400
00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:33,811
So it's probably hard to believe, but I really do

401
00:24:33,843 --> 00:24:37,327
have bad social anxiety. It's. It was debilitating for

402
00:24:37,351 --> 00:24:41,375
a while there. I. I didn't leave the house. And so this past New

403
00:24:41,415 --> 00:24:44,927
Year's, we try to do a New Year's resolution every year on how

404
00:24:44,951 --> 00:24:48,807
we can better ourselves as people. And mine was

405
00:24:48,871 --> 00:24:53,239
to get more involved in the lifestyle community

406
00:24:53,407 --> 00:24:57,591
so that, I don't know, maybe I'd be forced to socialize.

407
00:24:57,663 --> 00:25:01,681
And if I'm forced to socialize, I can practice more on

408
00:25:01,823 --> 00:25:05,669
getting a handle of my anxiety. And so

409
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:09,749
that's really where we started upping our presence in

410
00:25:09,797 --> 00:25:13,733
these groups. And me especially, I started posting more

411
00:25:13,909 --> 00:25:17,485
with the idea that if I. If I'm

412
00:25:17,525 --> 00:25:21,093
noticed in the groups, when I go to meet and greets,

413
00:25:21,189 --> 00:25:24,501
people will recognize me and I will be forced to

414
00:25:24,533 --> 00:25:27,973
talk to people. Yeah. I even wore a shirt that

415
00:25:28,069 --> 00:25:30,865
has my name on it in big letters.

416
00:25:31,305 --> 00:25:35,129
Something like Adam doing Adam things or the legendary

417
00:25:35,177 --> 00:25:38,209
Adam or whatever. I have a few different shirts. I'm not gonna lie. It's a

418
00:25:38,217 --> 00:25:42,273
little narcissistic. What. Whatever. But I

419
00:25:42,369 --> 00:25:45,257
wore this shirt to the first meet and greet that we ever went to so

420
00:25:45,281 --> 00:25:48,473
that people would see me and they would feel

421
00:25:48,569 --> 00:25:52,361
like they wanted to come talk to me. And I can't tell

422
00:25:52,393 --> 00:25:55,833
people no, so it would force me in. And it was good.

423
00:25:55,929 --> 00:25:59,153
It. It worked out. We went to the meet and greet. We met a lot

424
00:25:59,169 --> 00:26:02,405
of people. We. We made

425
00:26:02,825 --> 00:26:05,745
a lot of friends pretty immediately.

426
00:26:05,825 --> 00:26:09,825
Yeah. Well, we were lucky in the fact that people

427
00:26:09,905 --> 00:26:13,377
kind of felt like they already knew us. They were very open,

428
00:26:13,481 --> 00:26:17,097
like. Yeah. Very open arms. Like, come on

429
00:26:17,121 --> 00:26:20,049
into my circle. Very accepting. Yeah, very accepting.

430
00:26:20,097 --> 00:26:23,285
And it was very nice. There wasn't. There wasn't cliquish.

431
00:26:23,825 --> 00:26:27,409
Although we'll get so well. Yeah. And you and I, we have.

432
00:26:27,457 --> 00:26:31,305
We have our differing opinions on that. I personally

433
00:26:31,765 --> 00:26:35,277
don't see clicks. I did at one point, but I

434
00:26:35,301 --> 00:26:38,421
realized it's A lot of. It is perception. And I think a lot of us

435
00:26:38,453 --> 00:26:41,573
forget that not everybody knows how to socialize.

436
00:26:41,629 --> 00:26:45,293
Yeah. And so, I mean, I don't. Yeah. So when. When you're the new

437
00:26:45,349 --> 00:26:48,605
person and you're walking into a meet and greet that has

438
00:26:48,645 --> 00:26:52,445
been splayed out all over a group, that maybe you've been lurking or you haven't

439
00:26:52,485 --> 00:26:55,779
really said much to anybody and you show up,

440
00:26:55,877 --> 00:26:59,639
people don't know who you are, or maybe they've seen you once or twice

441
00:26:59,687 --> 00:27:02,719
and they suspect that's you, but they don't know it's you.

442
00:27:02,887 --> 00:27:06,607
Well, nobody wants to Be outgoing enough to just walk up

443
00:27:06,631 --> 00:27:10,207
to a strange person and say, hey, are you in the lifestyle?

444
00:27:10,271 --> 00:27:14,015
Because the meeting's over here. Because God forbid

445
00:27:14,055 --> 00:27:17,823
you're wrong. Yeah. And you've just outed yourself to

446
00:27:17,919 --> 00:27:21,407
somebody vanilla at a public place. It. It could

447
00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:25,223
get weird. And so I know a lot of people have struggles

448
00:27:25,319 --> 00:27:28,799
socializing with other people. They have struggles introducing themselves.

449
00:27:28,967 --> 00:27:32,879
And so they stick to what the norm is, which is their

450
00:27:32,927 --> 00:27:36,711
small little circle. Yeah. And so they appear to be

451
00:27:36,903 --> 00:27:40,615
cliquish when in reality they're just shy.

452
00:27:40,695 --> 00:27:44,455
Yeah. And they have trouble socializing. And I think that that is

453
00:27:44,495 --> 00:27:48,151
really what I perceive it to be most times. Now I will say

454
00:27:48,183 --> 00:27:51,111
there are a few that. Yeah, I could argue that there,

455
00:27:51,183 --> 00:27:54,751
there's. And I believe that there. There are a few groups

456
00:27:54,783 --> 00:27:58,295
that are very cliquish. There's a few people that like to keep

457
00:27:58,335 --> 00:28:01,783
their little circle tight, which is fine.

458
00:28:01,959 --> 00:28:04,879
And when they go to meet and greets, it's just like, it's just them.

459
00:28:04,967 --> 00:28:07,919
They won't kind of, you know, really open up their arms.

460
00:28:08,007 --> 00:28:11,515
Yeah. But you know me. I love,

461
00:28:11,895 --> 00:28:15,487
love. You're a wall. Wall breaker. Yeah. I love to go in.

462
00:28:15,551 --> 00:28:18,977
I will shake everybody's hands. If I don't go up to you,

463
00:28:19,001 --> 00:28:22,129
it's because you're in midst of conversation. But I will

464
00:28:22,297 --> 00:28:25,201
drag you to say hi to everybody.

465
00:28:25,353 --> 00:28:28,849
What's funny is. Yeah, you. You really have to drag me because I

466
00:28:28,897 --> 00:28:32,857
found that. I will find a wall and hold.

467
00:28:32,881 --> 00:28:36,217
It up and you and I will sit there talking. Yes. Because we're.

468
00:28:36,281 --> 00:28:40,105
We're best friends. We're people watchers. Like, we're there

469
00:28:40,145 --> 00:28:44,089
and we are admiring yalls outfits and yalls hair and

470
00:28:44,177 --> 00:28:47,005
how hot y'all look. Yeah. And who we bang,

471
00:28:47,625 --> 00:28:51,461
who we wanna bang. Ye just all of that stuff is normally

472
00:28:51,493 --> 00:28:54,421
going through our heads. And so most. And you know,

473
00:28:54,453 --> 00:28:58,069
honestly, because of my anxiety, I really don't often pay attention

474
00:28:58,117 --> 00:29:01,773
to my surroundings. I know I tend to kind of. Yeah, you pay

475
00:29:01,789 --> 00:29:05,093
attention to everything around you. And me, I really kind

476
00:29:05,109 --> 00:29:08,397
of put blinders on and I close my eyes to

477
00:29:08,461 --> 00:29:11,853
who's around me. And I've had people come up to me

478
00:29:11,869 --> 00:29:15,413
and go, well, you saw me, but you didn't say hi. And I was like,

479
00:29:15,469 --> 00:29:19,723
I really didn't see you because I was nervous and scared and didn't

480
00:29:19,779 --> 00:29:22,811
know if I should even look up from the floor. So,

481
00:29:23,003 --> 00:29:27,175
you know, meet and greets are just a whole different beast sometimes.

482
00:29:27,515 --> 00:29:31,395
Fun, though. They are getting fun. They're. It's such

483
00:29:31,435 --> 00:29:35,347
a breath of relief. Like Everybody is so nice.

484
00:29:35,491 --> 00:29:38,875
Everybody's very nice, very inclusive back in the day.

485
00:29:38,955 --> 00:29:42,387
And we would go in, be like, okay, we're out and let's

486
00:29:42,411 --> 00:29:46,003
go. Yeah. When, especially when we first moved to this

487
00:29:46,059 --> 00:29:49,565
area and the lockdown stopped and we

488
00:29:49,605 --> 00:29:53,517
started getting invited to meet and greets for like, North Austin area.

489
00:29:53,661 --> 00:29:56,781
And we would drive out there, we would drive over an hour to get out

490
00:29:56,813 --> 00:29:59,949
there. We would walk in, we would sit

491
00:29:59,997 --> 00:30:03,973
down at a table, you know, very briefly, say hello to everybody,

492
00:30:04,029 --> 00:30:07,573
sit down and just talk to each other for about an hour, maybe 30 minutes,

493
00:30:07,709 --> 00:30:10,885
and we'd leave. And that kind of started us

494
00:30:10,925 --> 00:30:14,901
with the whole first in, first out. That's. That's what we're known for is

495
00:30:15,013 --> 00:30:18,549
first in, first out. We'll be either early or on

496
00:30:18,597 --> 00:30:21,045
time to an event, whether it be a house party, a meet and greet,

497
00:30:21,085 --> 00:30:24,261
whatever it is. And we're the first ones to say goodbye.

498
00:30:24,373 --> 00:30:27,781
Normally because we're night. We're not night owls,

499
00:30:27,813 --> 00:30:31,285
we're not big drinkers, and we're usually there to

500
00:30:31,325 --> 00:30:34,605
play. And once we've gotten our fill, we're done,

501
00:30:34,725 --> 00:30:38,261
you know, so, yeah, we're. We. That's our deal is first in,

502
00:30:38,293 --> 00:30:42,143
first out. So if you are a late to the party

503
00:30:42,199 --> 00:30:45,599
kind of person, you may miss us. Adam and Chris,

504
00:30:45,687 --> 00:30:48,355
you will be out the door. Yeah, we've actually,

505
00:30:48,815 --> 00:30:51,071
people have seen us walk out and been like, what? We just got here.

506
00:30:51,103 --> 00:30:54,135
It's like, yeah, we're out. Yeah, sorry, we've been here a few hours already.

507
00:30:54,175 --> 00:30:57,503
We're done. Yeah, it, it's very, it's.

508
00:30:57,559 --> 00:31:00,543
It is fun. These meet and greets have become a lot of fun, but they

509
00:31:00,599 --> 00:31:04,439
used to not be fun. They were very anxiety laden.

510
00:31:04,487 --> 00:31:07,915
Now I've noticed. For me, and I don't know about you, but for me,

511
00:31:08,365 --> 00:31:11,865
what has helped me to get past that social anxiety

512
00:31:12,165 --> 00:31:15,029
is that people have gotten to know me.

513
00:31:15,197 --> 00:31:19,053
So. So they come up to you? They do. So they'll see my posts in

514
00:31:19,069 --> 00:31:22,229
the groups and they'll see my comments and,

515
00:31:22,277 --> 00:31:25,533
and I try to interact with everybody that I can interact with.

516
00:31:25,709 --> 00:31:29,829
And I believe that people see that online Persona

517
00:31:29,877 --> 00:31:32,021
and go, you know what? I need to go say hi to this guy.

518
00:31:32,053 --> 00:31:35,397
He seems like an easy going person. Yeah. And then once they come and say

519
00:31:35,421 --> 00:31:39,157
hi to me, they realize the same person who's online, that's the same person who's

520
00:31:39,181 --> 00:31:42,573
in front of them. Like, I am not. I don't act any different.

521
00:31:42,669 --> 00:31:46,141
Yeah. And that has really helped because

522
00:31:46,213 --> 00:31:49,597
now people know me, they come up to me,

523
00:31:49,661 --> 00:31:53,565
they talk to Me. And it just gets easier to be

524
00:31:53,645 --> 00:31:57,705
social. Yeah. It's not the easiest, but it's gotten easier.

525
00:31:58,245 --> 00:32:00,853
And then, of course, the other. I'm going to tell you guys my secret.

526
00:32:00,909 --> 00:32:04,397
The other thing is that I do you. But wait, do you want

527
00:32:04,421 --> 00:32:06,669
to tell them your secret? I'm going to tell them my secret. You guys.

528
00:32:06,717 --> 00:32:10,525
You guys, y'all are my friends. We're sitting here having caffeine, coffee.

529
00:32:10,605 --> 00:32:13,989
Caffeine. Yeah, we're having coffee together. We're talking.

530
00:32:14,077 --> 00:32:17,677
I'm gonna tell you a little secret about me to get past my social anxiety.

531
00:32:17,741 --> 00:32:21,505
When I'm at these different events or the club or wherever,

532
00:32:21,885 --> 00:32:25,705
I pretend that I am an actor in a movie.

533
00:32:26,765 --> 00:32:30,331
Yeah, laugh it up. It's true, though. I pretend that I'm an actor

534
00:32:30,363 --> 00:32:34,131
in a movie and that I have a camera, a hidden camera that

535
00:32:34,163 --> 00:32:37,747
is following me around, and that everybody that comes to talk to

536
00:32:37,771 --> 00:32:41,291
me when I'm having these anxiety episodes is

537
00:32:41,323 --> 00:32:44,843
another actor. And I have to be

538
00:32:44,939 --> 00:32:48,331
entertaining in every conversation for the sake

539
00:32:48,363 --> 00:32:51,539
of the camera. And so if you're ever

540
00:32:51,587 --> 00:32:55,289
talking to me in person and you see me kind of look

541
00:32:55,337 --> 00:32:58,569
off into space and make a funny Jim Halpert

542
00:32:58,617 --> 00:33:02,385
kind of face like I'm looking at a camera, chances are

543
00:33:02,505 --> 00:33:05,673
I think I'm in a movie. And that's helping me get past my anxiety.

544
00:33:05,769 --> 00:33:09,449
I know it's weird. Whatever. It works for me.

545
00:33:09,497 --> 00:33:12,473
And if you have trouble with social anxiety, give it a try. It might actually

546
00:33:12,529 --> 00:33:15,953
work. Yeah, but. But. So that's. That's my secret.

547
00:33:16,009 --> 00:33:20,225
But meet and greets have definitely gotten a lot easier to.

548
00:33:20,305 --> 00:33:23,601
To talk to people and kind of move around. Yeah,

549
00:33:23,713 --> 00:33:27,561
yeah. And. And as far as you're concerned, because you

550
00:33:27,593 --> 00:33:31,445
were diagnosed with A.D.H.D. finally, after several years

551
00:33:32,185 --> 00:33:35,377
previous life. So I kind of knew. I kind

552
00:33:35,401 --> 00:33:37,849
of knew I had something, but we didn't know what it was. We thought it

553
00:33:37,857 --> 00:33:41,425
was menopause or something. And then now it's like, oh,

554
00:33:41,545 --> 00:33:45,329
now. My question to you is, as far as the lifestyle

555
00:33:45,377 --> 00:33:49,571
is concerned, pre ADHD medication

556
00:33:49,723 --> 00:33:53,507
to post ADHD medication, what would you say the differences

557
00:33:53,571 --> 00:33:56,659
are as far as you talking to other people? You can,

558
00:33:56,707 --> 00:34:00,931
you know, everything where I. Lost my little social butterflyness.

559
00:34:01,003 --> 00:34:04,819
Like I was the social butterfly. But I. We. We talked about this, and we

560
00:34:04,907 --> 00:34:08,179
think that it was because I was a drinker and it was loosening

561
00:34:08,227 --> 00:34:11,427
me up and I would go and chit chat with everybody. Your social lube.

562
00:34:11,491 --> 00:34:15,099
Yeah. And so pandemic. We stopped going out.

563
00:34:15,227 --> 00:34:19,483
We kind of backed away from the lifestyle. Yeah. And I

564
00:34:19,499 --> 00:34:22,771
just became like an indoor cat. Didn't want to really go out and anything.

565
00:34:22,843 --> 00:34:26,907
So now, before medication, I think

566
00:34:26,971 --> 00:34:30,659
I was more. I always had the rbf,

567
00:34:30,747 --> 00:34:34,227
like, all the time, really. And people just couldn't approach me. Remember, people would be

568
00:34:34,251 --> 00:34:37,939
like, I like you. But I don't think, oh, my gosh. And I

569
00:34:37,947 --> 00:34:41,631
was like, what? Nobody. She doesn't like me because I've never been told that

570
00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:44,927
nobody likes me. Yeah. So I was so hurt

571
00:34:44,991 --> 00:34:49,755
and also upset. But now with medication,

572
00:34:50,055 --> 00:34:53,815
I can hold a conversation. I can smile.

573
00:34:53,895 --> 00:34:57,263
I remember to smile. And I think I'm.

574
00:34:57,359 --> 00:35:00,855
I know I'm happier. Way, way more happier. My brain

575
00:35:00,895 --> 00:35:04,311
isn't everywhere. You seem to be able to communicate better.

576
00:35:04,383 --> 00:35:07,527
I know. Being that we are in Buda and

577
00:35:07,551 --> 00:35:10,591
a lot of the people that we like to talk to or that we're interested

578
00:35:10,623 --> 00:35:13,793
in are normally an hour away from us,

579
00:35:13,849 --> 00:35:17,497
either south in San Antonio or north in North Austin

580
00:35:17,561 --> 00:35:21,137
area. Because of that, the only real

581
00:35:21,161 --> 00:35:24,969
way that we can connect with people oftentimes is through messenger or text

582
00:35:25,017 --> 00:35:28,497
messages or. Group messages, which you're way better at. I am chatty Kathy

583
00:35:28,521 --> 00:35:31,793
at these things. I do have more time on my hands and I can

584
00:35:31,929 --> 00:35:35,097
keep a conversation going. You, on the other

585
00:35:35,121 --> 00:35:38,345
hand, for the longest time, have always been in and out. Yeah.

586
00:35:38,385 --> 00:35:42,041
In and out of the conversations. You've always came with like a.

587
00:35:42,193 --> 00:35:45,721
A little forewarning that said, hey, I. I don't do

588
00:35:45,753 --> 00:35:49,209
well in. But once you chat your ear off.

589
00:35:49,257 --> 00:35:52,089
Yeah. Yeah. And so you've. You've really, actually,

590
00:35:52,177 --> 00:35:56,313
recently, with your medication, have gotten better at chatting

591
00:35:56,449 --> 00:35:59,737
in dms and. And in text messages, trying to

592
00:35:59,761 --> 00:36:03,289
reply back to everything. You interact. Yeah. You do talk a

593
00:36:03,297 --> 00:36:07,147
lot. I do. Well, I have a lot to say, which is

594
00:36:07,211 --> 00:36:11,067
why I have. I've heard your conversations. I've seen them. I didn't

595
00:36:11,091 --> 00:36:14,659
say I had anything worth substance to say. I just said I had a lot

596
00:36:14,707 --> 00:36:17,827
to say. It's a lot of memes. It's a lot of memes. I do

597
00:36:17,851 --> 00:36:20,979
have a lot of memes. It's funny because all of our friends use memes and

598
00:36:21,107 --> 00:36:24,507
I use. Or whatever they are. I use memes and good GIFs.

599
00:36:24,571 --> 00:36:27,923
Good GIFs. Depending on what side of the. Are they good GIFs?

600
00:36:27,979 --> 00:36:30,787
I don't know. They're GIFs or. They're GIFs. I just mix them. They're good GIFs.

601
00:36:30,811 --> 00:36:34,293
Yeah. So you. But that's how you talk. You are better at communicating via

602
00:36:34,349 --> 00:36:36,905
messenger, and in person, you're very.

603
00:36:38,725 --> 00:36:43,165
You like to ask a lot of questions. I am inquisitive Absolutely.

604
00:36:43,245 --> 00:36:46,757
I, I, well, you know, I will say this, and some

605
00:36:46,781 --> 00:36:50,749
of you may have seen some of my posts, either on my personal page or

606
00:36:50,837 --> 00:36:54,637
on the groups, but I love

607
00:36:54,781 --> 00:36:58,453
people. I love people like, I love to know

608
00:36:58,509 --> 00:37:02,479
people. I like to make friends. Friends. I don't know what it is about

609
00:37:02,607 --> 00:37:05,155
every single person, Every single individual.

610
00:37:05,455 --> 00:37:08,863
Each one of you is a fingerprint. Every one of you is

611
00:37:08,919 --> 00:37:12,035
different. No matter how similar you are to each other,

612
00:37:12,415 --> 00:37:16,047
you're still different. And there are a

613
00:37:16,071 --> 00:37:20,623
lot of outside, external personalities

614
00:37:20,759 --> 00:37:24,311
that all seem very similar. Oh, we're of like

615
00:37:24,383 --> 00:37:27,727
mind, we think alike. This and that. But realistically, all of

616
00:37:27,751 --> 00:37:30,675
you are so different and I find that so fascinating.

617
00:37:31,005 --> 00:37:34,385
And I want to know about you generally.

618
00:37:34,765 --> 00:37:38,145
I had a friend recently tell me that.

619
00:37:38,445 --> 00:37:42,053
They actually thanked me. They said, you know, I find

620
00:37:42,109 --> 00:37:46,085
it so interesting that you keep

621
00:37:46,125 --> 00:37:49,653
up these conversations, you ask these questions, and you actually

622
00:37:49,749 --> 00:37:52,933
listen to the answers. Yes. And you,

623
00:37:53,069 --> 00:37:57,223
you keep the conversation going. And it's funny because

624
00:37:57,389 --> 00:38:00,775
if I ask you a question, whether it's

625
00:38:01,275 --> 00:38:05,195
silly or not, I'm going to listen to your answer because

626
00:38:05,315 --> 00:38:08,747
I want to know. Like I generally want to know. Yeah.

627
00:38:08,811 --> 00:38:12,347
And so it's because of that I have a great love

628
00:38:12,491 --> 00:38:16,131
for, for people, especially my friends. I hold

629
00:38:16,203 --> 00:38:19,707
a lot of heart towards these people.

630
00:38:19,891 --> 00:38:23,547
And, you know, you'll, you'll notice that I have a lot of positive posts,

631
00:38:23,571 --> 00:38:27,131
a lot of happy posts, a lot of loving posts. That is me.

632
00:38:27,243 --> 00:38:30,539
Yes. That is my personality. That's the way I am at home. That's the way

633
00:38:30,547 --> 00:38:34,107
I'm at work. That's the way I'm with my friends. It's not

634
00:38:34,131 --> 00:38:37,067
a fake Persona. It's not an online Persona.

635
00:38:37,251 --> 00:38:40,587
And people see that and

636
00:38:40,651 --> 00:38:44,139
sometimes they feel comfortable with it,

637
00:38:44,187 --> 00:38:47,419
which is kind of what I hope for. There's a, there's only a few

638
00:38:47,467 --> 00:38:50,995
that feel, or I think that think that it's fake. You know,

639
00:38:51,035 --> 00:38:55,695
I, I have come across people who

640
00:38:56,075 --> 00:38:59,295
maybe have that first impression K is going to hate,

641
00:39:00,195 --> 00:39:03,659
you know, that maybe it's disingenuous that maybe it's not

642
00:39:03,827 --> 00:39:07,051
my real personality. You know, one of those YouTubers

643
00:39:07,123 --> 00:39:10,555
that they look all happy and, and positive on

644
00:39:10,595 --> 00:39:14,275
when the camera's rolling, but when the cameras are off, you know, they, they're kicking

645
00:39:14,315 --> 00:39:17,667
cats and yelling at babies. That's not me. I don't

646
00:39:17,691 --> 00:39:21,745
kick cats. I don't, I don't yell at babies. But I am

647
00:39:21,825 --> 00:39:25,225
realistically, very much like this. And I

648
00:39:25,265 --> 00:39:28,665
love our community. I love the people in the community.

649
00:39:28,745 --> 00:39:32,165
I love the opportunity to become friends with people.

650
00:39:32,545 --> 00:39:36,201
And every Single person in

651
00:39:36,233 --> 00:39:39,329
this community, whether I know you or not,

652
00:39:39,457 --> 00:39:43,169
you're always welcome at our table because you,

653
00:39:43,217 --> 00:39:45,941
you gotta have a spot. You gotta have a place.

654
00:39:46,053 --> 00:39:50,053
Yeah. And this lifestyle, while it seems small

655
00:39:50,149 --> 00:39:53,357
because everybody's trying to be discreet, it's actually really,

656
00:39:53,421 --> 00:39:56,469
really large. It's huge. It is very, very large.

657
00:39:56,517 --> 00:39:59,845
Yeah. And there's a lot of people. We met

658
00:39:59,885 --> 00:40:03,789
people yesterday that we had never

659
00:40:03,917 --> 00:40:07,653
seen before. Yeah. And it was,

660
00:40:07,829 --> 00:40:11,301
it was nice. Like, we just keep making friends everywhere

661
00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:14,265
we go and. Pretty cool. It is. It's very.

662
00:40:14,765 --> 00:40:18,653
It opens up to different conversations with just

663
00:40:18,709 --> 00:40:22,125
different people. Right. And you know, every connection

664
00:40:22,205 --> 00:40:25,785
you make, every person that you

665
00:40:26,365 --> 00:40:30,397
bring into your circle is. You don't know what's,

666
00:40:30,461 --> 00:40:33,597
what's going to happen with you and them in the future.

667
00:40:33,741 --> 00:40:37,133
You know, one thing that you really need to keep in mind, if you're new

668
00:40:37,149 --> 00:40:40,485
to the lifestyle or maybe you've been in for a little while, but you haven't

669
00:40:40,525 --> 00:40:43,777
realized this yet is you do not need to have sex

670
00:40:43,841 --> 00:40:47,685
with every person in order to be their friend.

671
00:40:48,145 --> 00:40:51,705
You can be friends with somebody in the lifestyle and

672
00:40:51,865 --> 00:40:56,729
not want to have sex with them. It's okay if

673
00:40:56,777 --> 00:41:00,097
somebody who maybe you're not physically attracted to reaches out

674
00:41:00,121 --> 00:41:03,737
to you. You don't have to ghost them or block them.

675
00:41:03,881 --> 00:41:07,177
You don't have to be rude to them. You be friends with them and

676
00:41:07,201 --> 00:41:10,973
it's okay. There's a very nice way to say no.

677
00:41:11,109 --> 00:41:14,709
And, you know, the, the nice way is the honest approach. Obviously, I am,

678
00:41:14,757 --> 00:41:18,661
and I am very. I tell everybody that I am very direct,

679
00:41:18,853 --> 00:41:22,645
I'm very upfront. If you, if you've

680
00:41:22,685 --> 00:41:26,405
asked me something, I'm gonna be a 100%

681
00:41:26,565 --> 00:41:29,709
honest with you. You may not like my answer,

682
00:41:29,837 --> 00:41:33,469
but. And I carry that through our relationship. Absolutely. If you don't,

683
00:41:33,597 --> 00:41:37,513
you and I may not agree on everything. You may not like my answer.

684
00:41:37,569 --> 00:41:40,969
You may not like what I'm about to tell you, but I'm going to be

685
00:41:41,017 --> 00:41:44,545
very transparent with you and I'm sorry

686
00:41:44,585 --> 00:41:47,897
if your feelings are hurt. Yeah. You know, I think

687
00:41:48,081 --> 00:41:51,569
that because you're. Right, not everybody is for everybody.

688
00:41:51,617 --> 00:41:55,113
Like, yeah, we all have different tastes, we all have different

689
00:41:55,169 --> 00:41:59,225
likes. And we've run into that because as a couple looking for

690
00:41:59,265 --> 00:42:03,205
other couples, what I find attractive,

691
00:42:04,705 --> 00:42:08,085
Priscilla does not always find attractive.

692
00:42:09,025 --> 00:42:12,481
Maybe if there's a couple that I'm interested in playing with

693
00:42:12,553 --> 00:42:16,409
or one particular lady I would like to

694
00:42:16,537 --> 00:42:20,865
bring into the fold, she may not be attracted to them.

695
00:42:21,025 --> 00:42:24,505
And that causes. I don't want to say it causes a

696
00:42:24,545 --> 00:42:27,697
problem, but it normally will definitely

697
00:42:27,761 --> 00:42:30,959
spur a conversation where I'll express to her,

698
00:42:31,007 --> 00:42:35,319
look, this is somebody I am very sexually interested in and

699
00:42:35,367 --> 00:42:38,431
I would like to play with. Is this somebody you'd be interested in?

700
00:42:38,583 --> 00:42:42,335
Chances are, if she is not attracted, she would

701
00:42:42,375 --> 00:42:46,287
say no. But then she would also say, well, let me get to know them,

702
00:42:46,391 --> 00:42:50,095
because maybe their personality will

703
00:42:50,175 --> 00:42:53,615
attract me. And so she'll give them a fair shake as much

704
00:42:53,655 --> 00:42:56,941
as possible before fully saying no. And then

705
00:42:57,013 --> 00:43:01,005
once she reaches that point where it's like, no, I just don't have that connection,

706
00:43:01,085 --> 00:43:04,525
she'll let me know. I. And she'll tell them too. You know, I just don't

707
00:43:04,565 --> 00:43:08,661
feel like there's a vibe. I don't feel this connection. And because of

708
00:43:08,693 --> 00:43:12,853
that, we do sometimes,

709
00:43:13,029 --> 00:43:16,061
very rarely play separately.

710
00:43:16,253 --> 00:43:19,901
It's. It's very rare because we are exhibitionists

711
00:43:19,973 --> 00:43:23,499
and we are voyeurs and we love to include each other.

712
00:43:23,547 --> 00:43:26,699
And we like. Yeah, because we like to watch. We like to watch each other

713
00:43:26,747 --> 00:43:30,667
with others. Love it. Like, that's our. That's our thing. Oh, man, that's totally

714
00:43:30,691 --> 00:43:33,931
our kink. And so when we go to the clubs,

715
00:43:34,003 --> 00:43:37,971
we're out there on the beds in front of everybody, putting on a show

716
00:43:38,043 --> 00:43:41,131
almost immediately, as soon as we get there and throughout

717
00:43:41,163 --> 00:43:44,739
the night, because that's our kink. We like

718
00:43:44,787 --> 00:43:48,291
to turn people on. Yes. It's hot. Yes.

719
00:43:48,363 --> 00:43:51,755
And we turn each other on. And so we like to be

720
00:43:51,795 --> 00:43:55,459
included. We like to include each other in each other's

721
00:43:55,547 --> 00:43:58,975
playtime. But sometimes it's just not.

722
00:43:59,435 --> 00:44:02,675
It's. It's very. It's very rare. Yeah,

723
00:44:02,795 --> 00:44:06,291
but, yeah, it is. It could be a timing issue or

724
00:44:06,323 --> 00:44:09,695
it could be a connection issue. Yeah. But it is very rare.

725
00:44:10,035 --> 00:44:13,531
We definitely prefer to play together or

726
00:44:13,563 --> 00:44:17,011
at least under the same roof, because there's just a

727
00:44:17,043 --> 00:44:20,819
safety net there. You know, we have each other's back if there's

728
00:44:20,867 --> 00:44:24,191
any kind of issues, and we're just there for each other.

729
00:44:24,263 --> 00:44:27,343
But also sexually, I mean, it's just incredible. It is. Yeah,

730
00:44:27,399 --> 00:44:30,967
it is. It's fun. It is really a lot of fun. But we

731
00:44:30,991 --> 00:44:34,679
don't like to limit each other either. We both like to see each other enjoy

732
00:44:34,727 --> 00:44:38,719
each other in this lifestyle. And if that means,

733
00:44:38,807 --> 00:44:42,835
like, for my sake, I kind of dig the

734
00:44:43,215 --> 00:44:46,155
consensual cheating. Yes.

735
00:44:46,775 --> 00:44:50,655
It's not really cheating because I tell her, look, if you're in the moment

736
00:44:50,735 --> 00:44:53,873
or if you're around somebody, if you see somebody at the

737
00:44:53,929 --> 00:44:58,405
store that is vibing with you and they want to

738
00:44:58,905 --> 00:45:02,697
pull you into their car and play with you and you're feeling it,

739
00:45:02,841 --> 00:45:06,137
then do it. You're right. And do me a favor and just send

740
00:45:06,161 --> 00:45:10,233
me a video clip randomly, because that is incredible.

741
00:45:10,409 --> 00:45:13,325
And it has never happened,

742
00:45:13,825 --> 00:45:17,177
just FYI. It is a fantasy of mine.

743
00:45:17,321 --> 00:45:20,841
Well, so kind of. It's kind. Yeah, you'll know.

744
00:45:20,873 --> 00:45:24,121
It has. It actually has happened once. Yeah. At your work.

745
00:45:24,153 --> 00:45:28,033
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You had a guy come over. Yes. And you guys.

746
00:45:28,089 --> 00:45:31,177
Are you gonna tell the story? Why not? I mean, so,

747
00:45:31,281 --> 00:45:34,845
yeah, I met a guy online,

748
00:45:35,505 --> 00:45:38,565
and he came over to my work for lunch,

749
00:45:39,065 --> 00:45:43,089
but he was my lunch. That's incredible.

750
00:45:43,257 --> 00:45:46,205
And he came over a second time for lunch,

751
00:45:46,735 --> 00:45:50,047
and he was my lunch again. That. Yeah. And I just sent

752
00:45:50,071 --> 00:45:53,935
you videos. Yeah. And it was random. It was extremely

753
00:45:54,015 --> 00:45:57,071
random. It was random. And you sent me those videos, and all of a sudden

754
00:45:57,103 --> 00:46:00,543
it's like, oh, wow, look at that. Yeah, that was then.

755
00:46:00,639 --> 00:46:03,951
So that I thought was incredibly hot.

756
00:46:04,063 --> 00:46:07,355
I definitely fantasize about that.

757
00:46:07,695 --> 00:46:12,151
I would definitely prefer to be there and present,

758
00:46:12,343 --> 00:46:16,047
but the thought that you're somewhere away from me,

759
00:46:16,111 --> 00:46:19,479
just having some passionate, crazy sex. You and

760
00:46:19,487 --> 00:46:22,623
I have different kinks. Yes. For the

761
00:46:22,639 --> 00:46:25,567
most part. For the most part. I'm getting a.

762
00:46:25,751 --> 00:46:29,295
I'm starting. I've never really experienced your kinks,

763
00:46:29,335 --> 00:46:32,167
like, for myself, so I don't know if I like them,

764
00:46:32,191 --> 00:46:35,887
but we're. We're starting to experience those.

765
00:46:35,991 --> 00:46:38,915
Yeah. Yeah. And so it is.

766
00:46:39,375 --> 00:46:42,995
It's something I personally have to

767
00:46:43,575 --> 00:46:46,799
kind of break through. Well, I think a lot

768
00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:50,863
of. Of what really closed your mind to separate Plague was

769
00:46:50,919 --> 00:46:54,087
our poly experience, wasn't it? And my past experience. Yeah,

770
00:46:54,111 --> 00:46:57,631
and your past experiences, for sure. Because that really spurned some

771
00:46:57,663 --> 00:47:01,775
jealousies. Yeah. Like, the first one left me husband number

772
00:47:01,815 --> 00:47:05,465
one. Husband number one left me for another girl.

773
00:47:05,545 --> 00:47:08,641
A stripper. Yeah. Who actually wanted to be with me first.

774
00:47:08,713 --> 00:47:12,305
Go figure. But I didn't. And then he left

775
00:47:12,345 --> 00:47:16,209
me for her. And then the second one was just very ugly.

776
00:47:16,297 --> 00:47:20,057
After we would play with people. Right. He would call your name. He would call

777
00:47:20,081 --> 00:47:23,485
me names. He'd make me feel very, very shameful.

778
00:47:23,825 --> 00:47:26,645
And I was like, oh, man.

779
00:47:26,985 --> 00:47:30,377
And then with you. One, I didn't want anybody to take

780
00:47:30,401 --> 00:47:33,761
you away. Two, I didn't want you to look at me a

781
00:47:33,793 --> 00:47:36,559
different way. And three, I really,

782
00:47:36,647 --> 00:47:40,127
like, love you. Yeah. Like, the moment you and

783
00:47:40,151 --> 00:47:43,343
I got together, I was like, that's it.

784
00:47:43,519 --> 00:47:46,143
You and I. And so I just didn't want to lose you.

785
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,439
Sure. So now I.

786
00:47:49,567 --> 00:47:53,151
I have different kinks that are slowly popping

787
00:47:53,263 --> 00:47:57,095
up. Like, I love for you to be

788
00:47:57,135 --> 00:48:00,383
involved in like my conversations.

789
00:48:00,559 --> 00:48:04,095
Sure. Like, yeah, I. We. I think I just discovered that

790
00:48:04,135 --> 00:48:07,599
last night. I had no idea. Yeah. But that was pretty hot. Do you like.

791
00:48:07,687 --> 00:48:11,391
I like to watch you. Even if I'm not playing. If I'm watch just sitting

792
00:48:11,423 --> 00:48:14,583
there watching, I am like,

793
00:48:14,759 --> 00:48:18,047
get it, girl, because that is amazing.

794
00:48:18,191 --> 00:48:21,783
Oh, I get that all the time. Oh, my gosh. You are up

795
00:48:21,839 --> 00:48:25,735
talking me. Don't believe the hype, ladies. I am very

796
00:48:25,775 --> 00:48:29,547
humble. Oh, my God. He only like that online.

797
00:48:29,731 --> 00:48:33,563
I will tell you that I grew up not knowing how to measure

798
00:48:33,699 --> 00:48:36,787
anything. Yeah. Like, I can't measure anything. So I grew

799
00:48:36,811 --> 00:48:40,779
up always thinking that I was not very, very well endowed.

800
00:48:40,867 --> 00:48:44,323
Yeah. Because I watched a lot of porn and that set

801
00:48:44,379 --> 00:48:47,603
unrealistic expectations. I didn't realize. And you were a

802
00:48:47,619 --> 00:48:50,667
bigger guy. I was always a bigger guy. Yeah. I was always a bigger guy.

803
00:48:50,691 --> 00:48:54,163
And then I lost some weight and apparently. And so now you can

804
00:48:54,179 --> 00:48:57,407
see the full two inches. It's two and

805
00:48:57,431 --> 00:49:01,255
a half now. Yeah. Look at you. You're. You're so witty.

806
00:49:01,295 --> 00:49:04,879
Oh, my gosh. Just. No. And then, like. And then for me,

807
00:49:04,927 --> 00:49:08,231
like, I don't have any confidence. I'm getting

808
00:49:08,343 --> 00:49:11,671
there. You mean in your looks or in your sexual performance? Oh,

809
00:49:11,703 --> 00:49:15,079
my sexual performance. My goodness. Also. Really?

810
00:49:15,167 --> 00:49:18,455
Yeah. I didn't. I mean, I don't know if you remember, but I never,

811
00:49:18,495 --> 00:49:21,543
like, got on top of you because I was like. Oh, yeah, you were this

812
00:49:21,559 --> 00:49:26,441
when we first got together. Yeah. Forgetting for cowgirling

813
00:49:26,473 --> 00:49:30,273
it. Like lasso and. No, but I really

814
00:49:30,449 --> 00:49:33,145
like blowjobs. I didn't really know if I was good.

815
00:49:33,265 --> 00:49:36,577
Right, Right. I mean, now I know I can suck the soul

816
00:49:36,601 --> 00:49:39,441
out of you, but. Well, so for me,

817
00:49:39,513 --> 00:49:42,273
I. I never felt like I was well endowed.

818
00:49:42,409 --> 00:49:46,045
And because of that, I really worked on my technique

819
00:49:46,425 --> 00:49:50,009
and tried to be very fulfilling. And you and I

820
00:49:50,057 --> 00:49:53,625
really talk about it. Yes, we're very vocal. We're very vocal

821
00:49:53,665 --> 00:49:56,993
on what we like and what we want. And I'm very vocal with

822
00:49:57,009 --> 00:50:00,681
my partners. Right. Like, right now. Not everybody takes

823
00:50:00,713 --> 00:50:04,281
too well to that. No. Some. Some people don't like to be

824
00:50:04,313 --> 00:50:07,985
told what to do. No. And those people really need

825
00:50:08,025 --> 00:50:11,673
to learn to follow instructions. It's okay.

826
00:50:11,849 --> 00:50:15,185
It's okay to pleasure the person that you're having sex with.

827
00:50:15,225 --> 00:50:19,725
Like, there's nothing wrong with that. Let's ask a quick question. Okay. Is there anything

828
00:50:20,445 --> 00:50:23,933
that you would

829
00:50:23,989 --> 00:50:28,237
like women to think about when

830
00:50:28,301 --> 00:50:31,557
they're having sex

831
00:50:31,701 --> 00:50:35,613
with you? You're a people pleaser,

832
00:50:35,709 --> 00:50:39,245
so you're. You're there for their pleasure. Like right. 100.

833
00:50:39,365 --> 00:50:43,197
I get off to them getting off. You're there for my pleasure. Yeah. So you.

834
00:50:43,301 --> 00:50:47,231
But is there anything that you wish women

835
00:50:47,303 --> 00:50:50,943
could do or should do a little,

836
00:50:50,999 --> 00:50:54,695
approach things differently? Like, I can go first. Okay. So,

837
00:50:54,735 --> 00:50:58,791
like, for men, I feel like because we're

838
00:50:58,823 --> 00:51:01,475
older. Right. The men are older.

839
00:51:01,775 --> 00:51:05,335
I feel the only thing with the

840
00:51:05,415 --> 00:51:08,839
lifestyle that I wish men would. Would be okay

841
00:51:08,887 --> 00:51:11,943
with talking about or expressing to the

842
00:51:11,959 --> 00:51:17,145
person they're going to be with if they have issues with

843
00:51:17,845 --> 00:51:20,853
getting hard. Okay. Like,

844
00:51:20,869 --> 00:51:24,749
if you have an issue with that, first of all, one, I am totally

845
00:51:24,837 --> 00:51:28,197
okay with that. Like, if it's hard for you to get hard,

846
00:51:28,381 --> 00:51:32,253
I will help you. Right. And I will do anything

847
00:51:32,309 --> 00:51:36,505
I can. And if it doesn't work, be okay with just saying,

848
00:51:36,965 --> 00:51:40,429
let's try again another time because nerves will get you.

849
00:51:40,477 --> 00:51:43,341
Maybe we need to. Maybe we need to just hang out a little bit more.

850
00:51:43,453 --> 00:51:46,789
So I wish men would be okay with

851
00:51:46,877 --> 00:51:50,349
that. With having that conversation. Yes. Yeah. And I also.

852
00:51:50,437 --> 00:51:53,685
And like, for women, I wish women would

853
00:51:53,765 --> 00:51:57,021
be. And this is for me too. Would be more

854
00:51:57,093 --> 00:52:00,749
open to saying, I like you, girl.

855
00:52:00,837 --> 00:52:03,677
I think I want to. I want to be with you. Like, and so that

856
00:52:03,701 --> 00:52:07,405
would probably be mine as well. So I, I personally.

857
00:52:07,705 --> 00:52:11,113
Yeah. You know, because everybody is so shy

858
00:52:11,169 --> 00:52:14,729
or they claim to be so shy and nobody wants to tag their crushes.

859
00:52:14,777 --> 00:52:18,817
Nobody wants to put somebody's name out there because nobody wants to be rejected.

860
00:52:18,961 --> 00:52:22,825
And I understand that. But I personally do

861
00:52:22,865 --> 00:52:26,057
not pursue anybody. And I don't pursue anybody for the

862
00:52:26,081 --> 00:52:29,809
sheer fact that I don't want to be rejected. So here we have

863
00:52:29,977 --> 00:52:33,561
people who are sitting across the room from each other, basically,

864
00:52:33,633 --> 00:52:36,971
I fucking each other. And nobody is

865
00:52:37,043 --> 00:52:40,547
going to lay anybody because nobody's having the

866
00:52:40,571 --> 00:52:43,883
conversation because everybody's too shy. It's not just women,

867
00:52:43,939 --> 00:52:47,291
it's also men. Sometimes you have to

868
00:52:47,483 --> 00:52:50,739
put yourself out there. Now, it's easier said than done. Obviously, I do

869
00:52:50,747 --> 00:52:54,427
not do that. I do something completely different.

870
00:52:54,611 --> 00:52:57,851
You. I offer friendship. Your approach and my approach are very,

871
00:52:57,923 --> 00:53:01,291
very different. Very different. And we've done like the little polls where

872
00:53:01,323 --> 00:53:04,287
it's like, what do you do? Yeah. What. What is your way?

873
00:53:04,351 --> 00:53:07,615
Well, understand. So we, we did a poll recently

874
00:53:07,695 --> 00:53:11,799
where we asked as far as women on women, what do

875
00:53:11,847 --> 00:53:15,703
most women prefer? Because you and I had that discussion. Yes. Do you prefer

876
00:53:15,799 --> 00:53:19,767
somebody who is more sexually aggressive,

877
00:53:19,831 --> 00:53:23,615
more forward, or do you prefer somebody who will just

878
00:53:23,695 --> 00:53:27,319
be your friend and not really discuss too much sexual

879
00:53:27,367 --> 00:53:31,081
stuff, like organically and, and develop it organically and

880
00:53:31,113 --> 00:53:34,449
a good portion. Not everybody but there was several that

881
00:53:34,497 --> 00:53:38,337
we saw that responded that said they prefer somebody

882
00:53:38,361 --> 00:53:42,233
who is more aggressive and more forward because most of the time they

883
00:53:42,289 --> 00:53:46,033
don't know if a woman is into that. Yeah, I mean, that's.

884
00:53:46,089 --> 00:53:48,777
And that's pretty much the way you are. Because I don't know.

885
00:53:48,881 --> 00:53:51,913
Honestly, I don't know if men are

886
00:53:51,929 --> 00:53:55,289
into me. So I. It's not like I don't like men. I love men.

887
00:53:55,417 --> 00:54:00,483
But it's always been very creepy

888
00:54:00,659 --> 00:54:03,615
when men approach me. Okay, but now,

889
00:54:04,675 --> 00:54:08,931
see, now that's funny because as far as your, your tactic

890
00:54:09,003 --> 00:54:12,535
of sexual aggressiveness or forwardness

891
00:54:13,035 --> 00:54:17,163
may work well on other women coming from a woman, but if you

892
00:54:17,219 --> 00:54:20,875
take that sexual aggressiveness and you put it in a man going

893
00:54:20,915 --> 00:54:24,251
for a woman, then things change. Oh, yeah, things will

894
00:54:24,283 --> 00:54:28,027
change. I, I used to get really offended when men would message me and be

895
00:54:28,051 --> 00:54:31,707
like, man, I am down. Are you down? And I'm

896
00:54:31,731 --> 00:54:35,491
like, rude. I don't even know my name. Yeah.

897
00:54:35,603 --> 00:54:39,147
But now the more conversations I have with you,

898
00:54:39,211 --> 00:54:42,691
the more I get to meet people. I don't take it bad

899
00:54:42,763 --> 00:54:45,795
anymore. Right. I mean, we're all in this lifestyle for a reason.

900
00:54:45,955 --> 00:54:48,619
I'm like, okay, so you came off a little aggressive.

901
00:54:48,747 --> 00:54:52,225
Let's start again. Like,

902
00:54:52,565 --> 00:54:56,621
let's, let's, let's do this. Because I don't want to just block you because you're

903
00:54:56,653 --> 00:54:59,893
creepy. Start again. And it usually opens.

904
00:55:00,029 --> 00:55:03,565
We have really good friends that have told me the way you talk

905
00:55:03,605 --> 00:55:07,597
to me is very refreshing. You're helping me understand

906
00:55:07,741 --> 00:55:11,453
other women and, you know, so. I don't

907
00:55:11,469 --> 00:55:14,641
know. I think I, I think you're right. People should shoot their shot.

908
00:55:14,733 --> 00:55:17,897
For sure. Like, yeah, yeah, it's. I,

909
00:55:17,961 --> 00:55:21,441
I know, I understand. It's a difficulty. You don't. Nobody wants

910
00:55:21,473 --> 00:55:25,225
to get rejected or feel rejected.

911
00:55:25,385 --> 00:55:28,673
And like I said, that's the reason why my tactic is very different. Yeah,

912
00:55:28,689 --> 00:55:32,281
it is. So. And I, I wouldn't even call it a tactic realistically.

913
00:55:32,353 --> 00:55:36,569
I have finally learned to not really be in this lifestyle for

914
00:55:36,737 --> 00:55:39,881
sex purposes. I'm in it more so for friendship. Yeah.

915
00:55:39,953 --> 00:55:43,201
Because what I realize is we've already. Been friend zoned by so many people,

916
00:55:43,273 --> 00:55:46,461
so many people that we were crushing on. And it's like, okay, we're friends now.

917
00:55:46,553 --> 00:55:50,013
Yeah. And you know what? And that's, and that's totally cool,

918
00:55:50,069 --> 00:55:53,885
though, because we've developed some really great relationships

919
00:55:53,925 --> 00:55:56,813
with these people and really great friendships. And.

920
00:55:56,949 --> 00:56:00,365
I don't know, sometimes just the thought of having sex with somebody

921
00:56:00,405 --> 00:56:03,597
as strong of a friendship as that, you almost don't

922
00:56:03,621 --> 00:56:06,973
want to ruin it, you know what I mean? Like, it's, it's, it's going somewhere

923
00:56:07,029 --> 00:56:09,981
pretty good. Of course you look at them and it's like, oh, I don't know.

924
00:56:10,013 --> 00:56:13,395
I think it would make it better in the lifestyle. Do you really?

925
00:56:13,565 --> 00:56:16,655
I feel like they're friends no matter what.

926
00:56:16,735 --> 00:56:19,327
And if you have sex with them and they're still going to be your friends.

927
00:56:19,391 --> 00:56:22,839
Right. It's not like it was like in, when you're in high school. Well,

928
00:56:22,887 --> 00:56:26,703
see, that's why I, I am friends. I,

929
00:56:26,759 --> 00:56:31,031
I start out as friends. I will have conversation with you, I will learn about

930
00:56:31,103 --> 00:56:34,791
you. And as we have more conversations as we

931
00:56:34,823 --> 00:56:38,871
go along, eventually sex will come up in conversation

932
00:56:38,943 --> 00:56:42,333
because we are in this lifestyle, we are here for a reason.

933
00:56:42,519 --> 00:56:46,041
And eventually you're either going to feel good

934
00:56:46,073 --> 00:56:49,561
about me personality wise and feel like, hey, this is somebody I

935
00:56:49,593 --> 00:56:52,961
wouldn't mind playing with, or you're not

936
00:56:53,073 --> 00:56:55,393
going to feel that way about me. And if you're not going to feel that

937
00:56:55,409 --> 00:56:58,729
way about me, it's totally okay. Because guess what, we are

938
00:56:58,817 --> 00:57:02,633
friends. So it doesn't even matter. Friendship means everything to

939
00:57:02,649 --> 00:57:06,625
me and it's very important to me. So we definitely have two

940
00:57:06,665 --> 00:57:09,593
very big, very different tactics when it comes.

941
00:57:09,689 --> 00:57:14,509
You really put yourself out there. But you're really

942
00:57:14,677 --> 00:57:18,293
looking to get more sexual satisfaction from this

943
00:57:18,349 --> 00:57:21,557
lifestyle than I am, I would say. Is that fair

944
00:57:21,581 --> 00:57:25,229
to say? Because you weren't initially looking for

945
00:57:25,277 --> 00:57:28,581
friends. I wasn't looking for friends. You were

946
00:57:28,613 --> 00:57:32,605
more transactional. Now I'm not

947
00:57:32,645 --> 00:57:36,465
more satisfaction because I'm satisfied

948
00:57:36,875 --> 00:57:40,819
more. I'm learning that I want to try different things

949
00:57:40,907 --> 00:57:44,411
because. Okay, like for instance, I recently just told you

950
00:57:44,523 --> 00:57:47,667
I think I want to just, I want to try to be solo with a

951
00:57:47,691 --> 00:57:51,227
couple. Oh yeah. And it's something that I was like, oh, no,

952
00:57:51,291 --> 00:57:54,283
I never want to do that. Well, technically you did it once in corporate.

953
00:57:54,339 --> 00:57:57,667
Right, Right. With people that were friends. Right,

954
00:57:57,851 --> 00:58:01,291
but I've never done it with people that you haven't ever met.

955
00:58:01,363 --> 00:58:04,295
Right. And so completely different.

956
00:58:04,335 --> 00:58:09,595
Completely different. Only because I'm realizing experiences

957
00:58:09,975 --> 00:58:13,591
are cool. Like we. Yeah, let's try them. Because I want to try

958
00:58:13,623 --> 00:58:16,527
it once, see if I like it. And if I like it, great. If I

959
00:58:16,551 --> 00:58:20,423
don't. Okay, you're getting to do new experiences

960
00:58:20,479 --> 00:58:22,115
and it's like, okay,

961
00:58:23,735 --> 00:58:26,791
it's kind of cool. So I'm not more.

962
00:58:26,863 --> 00:58:30,471
I don't even know what the question was. See, that's what happens. Wow. That's what

963
00:58:30,503 --> 00:58:34,513
happens with. Oh my gosh. What was the question?

964
00:58:34,679 --> 00:58:38,141
What do you mean, what was the question? Wasn't there a question? No, you were

965
00:58:38,173 --> 00:58:41,821
just talking about. See,

966
00:58:41,853 --> 00:58:45,365
and. No, no, that I'm in it because I want more experiences. I wanted more

967
00:58:45,405 --> 00:58:48,845
experiences with women. Yes, that's what it was. Not with men.

968
00:58:48,925 --> 00:58:52,821
Yes, I wanted more experiences with women. And you're realizing that that's changing now.

969
00:58:52,933 --> 00:58:56,661
Yes, I'm realizing that. You ladies are funny

970
00:58:56,733 --> 00:58:59,465
because y'all say it is bi situational.

971
00:58:59,845 --> 00:59:03,615
And then my funny joke is, well, I'm the situation.

972
00:59:03,955 --> 00:59:07,323
We had. We had a friend of ours say. We. We asked her.

973
00:59:07,379 --> 00:59:10,907
She was like. I said, are you bi? Are you bisexual?

974
00:59:10,971 --> 00:59:14,059
And she goes, I'm bisexual if you're hot. And so

975
00:59:14,147 --> 00:59:17,575
as we're standing there, she is rubbing my boobs.

976
00:59:17,995 --> 00:59:21,051
And then I asked her, I was like, oh, are you? And she's

977
00:59:21,083 --> 00:59:24,179
like, I'm bi. Situational. Yeah, if you're hot.

978
00:59:24,227 --> 00:59:26,775
And I was like, oh, okay. So I'm the situation.

979
00:59:27,315 --> 00:59:30,675
So that's my running. My running. Funny joke.

980
00:59:30,835 --> 00:59:34,411
Well, wait, what did I say? We're by. We're by couple situational or.

981
00:59:34,443 --> 00:59:37,971
Couple situational or something. We're like, you know, we.

982
00:59:38,043 --> 00:59:41,379
We. We're so funny. I'm glad you

983
00:59:41,427 --> 00:59:45,107
think so. Oh, my gosh. See what you're missing out,

984
00:59:45,171 --> 00:59:48,843
you guys. Anyway, so first. Okay, so we started lifestyle.

985
00:59:48,899 --> 00:59:52,323
We started swinging. We did poly. Yeah, we're swinging now.

986
00:59:52,419 --> 00:59:55,983
We're. We're no longer in poly. We are in the lifestyle.

987
00:59:56,079 --> 01:00:00,303
We are fully immersed in this community. And that.

988
01:00:00,359 --> 01:00:03,759
That basically brings us here. You know, we. We have

989
01:00:03,847 --> 01:00:07,367
finally, when we came out here just this year, we've experienced

990
01:00:07,511 --> 01:00:11,679
the club scene, and that was great, but we've really have

991
01:00:11,807 --> 01:00:15,315
gotten to experience the community. You all,

992
01:00:15,615 --> 01:00:18,555
you're listening. Are a part of our community,

993
01:00:18,855 --> 01:00:23,717
and you have inspired us to talk

994
01:00:23,861 --> 01:00:27,469
in this podcast to basically bring you into

995
01:00:27,517 --> 01:00:31,325
our lives, because chances are we don't live near each other and we can't

996
01:00:31,365 --> 01:00:35,157
meet up for happy hour on a Thursday. And so this

997
01:00:35,181 --> 01:00:38,557
is really where. Because we don't go out. No, we don't. We don't go

998
01:00:38,581 --> 01:00:41,365
out during the week. And so if you want to get to know us,

999
01:00:41,405 --> 01:00:44,901
this is really. Yeah, our kids are teenagers, but they want us home for dinner.

1000
01:00:44,973 --> 01:00:49,013
Yeah. Yeah. So it's really difficult for us to get out. So this.

1001
01:00:49,109 --> 01:00:52,651
This podcast really is a way for you

1002
01:00:52,723 --> 01:00:56,515
to come and sit down and just learn more

1003
01:00:56,555 --> 01:01:00,139
about us as people, more about

1004
01:01:00,307 --> 01:01:03,779
our experiences in the lifestyle, and just learn

1005
01:01:03,827 --> 01:01:07,363
about the community that you're a part of.

1006
01:01:07,539 --> 01:01:10,443
We really want to. As we go Forward,

1007
01:01:10,539 --> 01:01:14,179
include some of our community members,

1008
01:01:14,347 --> 01:01:17,363
people who have more experiences than us. We're going to be

1009
01:01:17,379 --> 01:01:21,133
venturing out different topics. We will be venturing out. We make platform.

1010
01:01:21,269 --> 01:01:24,501
Yeah. And we may be, you know,

1011
01:01:24,693 --> 01:01:27,837
podcasting at a meet and greet every now and then or that

1012
01:01:27,861 --> 01:01:31,421
sort of thing. So we definitely want you all

1013
01:01:31,493 --> 01:01:34,605
to continue tuning in. We.

1014
01:01:34,725 --> 01:01:38,237
This, this initial episode was just for you to

1015
01:01:38,261 --> 01:01:41,877
kind of peek in and get to know us a little bit

1016
01:01:42,021 --> 01:01:45,545
before we start going on with our topics

1017
01:01:46,495 --> 01:01:50,071
going forward. And so this is your chance to just

1018
01:01:50,103 --> 01:01:53,455
kind of get to know us a little bit before you start listening

1019
01:01:53,495 --> 01:01:56,903
to any of the upcoming episodes. We really appreciate you guys

1020
01:01:56,959 --> 01:02:00,495
listening. We really appreciate you guys being a part of our community

1021
01:02:00,615 --> 01:02:04,471
and just supporting us as people and.

1022
01:02:04,583 --> 01:02:08,007
And supporting our friendships. For sure. We're very

1023
01:02:08,071 --> 01:02:12,213
glad to have you guys in our lives. Super grateful. Very grateful.

1024
01:02:12,399 --> 01:02:15,705
And we really hope that you'll

1025
01:02:15,745 --> 01:02:19,201
be joining us on these podcast journeys as we

1026
01:02:19,233 --> 01:02:22,593
go along. We are going to try and release one at least once a

1027
01:02:22,609 --> 01:02:26,057
week, if not once every two weeks. Before we go, I do want

1028
01:02:26,081 --> 01:02:29,625
to make a quick note. It is the holidays for

1029
01:02:29,745 --> 01:02:33,725
many of you that don't know we're about to go into Thanksgiving,

1030
01:02:34,105 --> 01:02:37,665
and Christmas is right around the corner. It is a very hard time for

1031
01:02:37,705 --> 01:02:41,091
a lot of people, not only in the LS world,

1032
01:02:41,123 --> 01:02:44,275
but also in the vanilla world. And I just ask that if you

1033
01:02:44,315 --> 01:02:47,403
can try to be a little warmer,

1034
01:02:47,539 --> 01:02:51,135
try to be a little kinder. A little kinder.

1035
01:02:51,435 --> 01:02:54,523
It is a very difficult time for everybody.

1036
01:02:54,619 --> 01:02:58,523
There's a lot of things happening that are very close to us,

1037
01:02:58,659 --> 01:03:01,451
friends and stuff that are really struggling right now.

1038
01:03:01,563 --> 01:03:04,791
Yeah. Financially, emotionally, and even

1039
01:03:04,823 --> 01:03:08,823
in the. In the ls. I think it's. It's also major to note for sure.

1040
01:03:08,919 --> 01:03:13,415
Not everybody has family. Not everybody has a place to go for

1041
01:03:13,575 --> 01:03:17,007
Thanksgiving or for Christmas. And, you know, it would

1042
01:03:17,031 --> 01:03:20,535
be great if you could even just a message to say hi to

1043
01:03:20,575 --> 01:03:23,735
somebody or to compliment somebody. You could be

1044
01:03:23,775 --> 01:03:27,199
doing them such an incredibly large favor,

1045
01:03:27,367 --> 01:03:30,963
and you never know what kind of impact that you're going to make. So I

1046
01:03:30,979 --> 01:03:33,635
just ask that everybody kind of keep that in mind as we go along into

1047
01:03:33,675 --> 01:03:37,411
the holiday season. I'm going to go ahead and let

1048
01:03:37,443 --> 01:03:40,851
y'all go for the rest of the day.

1049
01:03:40,923 --> 01:03:44,395
I look forward to speaking to you guys soon. As always,

1050
01:03:44,475 --> 01:03:47,179
my dear companion here. Hi.

1051
01:03:47,307 --> 01:03:50,931
Bye. We're saying bye. We're saying bye.

1052
01:03:51,123 --> 01:03:54,603
Staring at your eyes. Oh, my gosh, this woman. It was really

1053
01:03:54,659 --> 01:03:58,243
great. I love sitting here chit chatting with my honey boo.

1054
01:03:58,299 --> 01:04:01,689
So thank you guys for listening and we hope that

1055
01:04:01,737 --> 01:04:05,441
you stick around. We're going to be doing a lot of social media stuff and

1056
01:04:05,633 --> 01:04:08,329
having, you know, just lots of fun with this, so.

1057
01:04:08,457 --> 01:04:12,233
Absolutely. So thank you for joining us and we will see you

1058
01:04:12,409 --> 01:04:14,565
next week. Bye. Bye.