Flirting: The Awkward Art of Attraction

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. We explore topics

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surrounding sexuality, intimate relationships, and related subjects

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in an open and candid manner. Please be advised that we are not licensed marriage

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or sex therapists, and the content shared here is for entertainment and informational

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purposes only. If you are under 18 years of age or prefer not to

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engage with discussions about sex, relationships, or mature language,

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we strongly recommend that you refrain from listening further. However,

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if you are of legal age and comfortable with this content, we invite you to

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settle in and enjoy the show.

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Hello and welcome to Beyond Monogamy. I'm Adam.

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And I'm Pris. And today on our Wednesday quickie, we're going to

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be talking about flirting without being awkward.

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Yeah. Yeah. Because if you talk to

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everybody in the community,

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nine out of 10 people will admit to not knowing how to

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flirt or being bad at flirting.

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I know how to flirt with men. You don't know how to flirt with women.

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I'm coming back to where I. I'm getting better at it. Yeah. Yeah.

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I'm just. I'm. I'm. I can be a little forward. So I'm in

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the between. I can be either forward or not forward.

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There's no in between. So I can either tell you, like, hey,

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I like you. You want to. Or. So it's kind of all or nothing.

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Yeah. Or, hey, I like you, and that's it. Oh.

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So my flirtings are very.

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And with women, I can be forward. I used

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to be really forward when I was younger. I just feel that women

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don't give the bi vibes as much as they.

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They did when they were younger. They did when they were younger. Like, you know,

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alcohol had a lot to do with that, too. I. I like women. Yeah.

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Like. Like, I like both. But I got into this lifestyle for

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women. Sure. And it's not like to add a woman for us.

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I like women by myself. With you. Whatever. Sure.

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And I'm getting better at flirting with them,

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but I know they're into me. They just don't

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know how to reciprocate, which then turns me off.

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Yeah, you're very. You get turned off very quickly. That's with

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men, too. Figure it out. Like, it's not hard to flirt. Well, I mean,

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it is hard. You just admit it. I mean, it is hard. But if I.

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If you. If I show an interest in you, if I'm already flirting with you.

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Now, you do have a point there. Like, and that's something that I had to

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learn from other ladies in the lifestyle throughout

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the past. Well, last year,

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as. As I talked to more ladies and, And I,

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I'm. I was one of those people that said I didn't know how to flirt.

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I don't know how to flirt. All I know is how to be myself.

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Now, when I was younger, people used to say I was very flirty. You are

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very flirty. Well, I never thought so. Yeah, you're very flirty. I was just friendly.

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So am I. Yeah. But like we've

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talked about before, what is flirting? Flirting is being friendly with an intention.

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Right. So you're being friendly with an intention of hoping

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to see it go somewhere. Yeah, yeah. But the rest of the time

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we're being friendly with everybody. And the way I talk to

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women a lot of times is the same way I talk to men. And I'm

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straight, but I'm just friendly. You know what I mean?

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And so I always said that I'm. When it came to expressing interest,

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when it came to getting, I don't know, flirty with women,

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I just felt like I was really bad about it. Like, the moment that I

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realized that they were into me, I didn't know what

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to say or do to make it better because I

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was afraid that whatever I said, I would get nervous or I'd stick. Stumble or

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whatever and they would lose interest. And so that anxiety

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and that fear just made it harder for me to talk to people. Okay.

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Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, no, I could see that. But I've seen you

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struggle with flirting with women, with women. Yeah. I. I don't

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think I've ever seen you because. Lose confidence before, but I've

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seen you struggle before with women. I just. I mean,

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I. I don't know if they like women. Yeah. So it's

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easier for men. For a woman. It's for me. For me,

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it's easier for me to flirt with a man because I can tell

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very quickly if they like me, how, if they're interested,

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how just their gestures,

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their. I can just feel it. I can feel that they're into me, really.

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But when I don't feel. When I don't get that same

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vibe back, I'm done. See,

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that's hard for me as a guy because I've felt that before from

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women and thought that that was what

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I was getting. And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, no, I just

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really like you as a friend. And I'm like, oh, oh, okay.

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No sex. Gotcha. Roger that. See,

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so it's easier for women flirt with men. It is easier for women. Like,

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it's easier for most of the time. Yeah. I have run into a couple of

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women that have been like, oh, well, I don't know how to flirt without being

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awkward. And I think it's funny

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when women say that because what most women don't

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realize is that when they flirt and are awkward,

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it's cute, it's endearing. Most of the time

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that's kind of. The way I do it, I think. Yeah, most of the time

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it's kind of endearing if you are like, I don't know how to

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flirt without being awkward. Oh, I just made that weird. You know, stuff like that.

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That's friggin cute. You know, and any guy who's digging

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her is going to be like, oh, yeah, I like that. Yeah, that's. That's cool.

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I've even said something to somebody and I'm like, that's me flirting. Yeah.

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Yeah. You kind of have to flirting just. So that they know.

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Yeah, no, it is. I think everybody has that awkward state.

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Have you ever had a moment when you've tried

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to talk to somebody and it's been just extremely awkward, like you've tried

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to flirt or you've tried to. It was somebody that you were interested

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in and you just couldn't, you couldn't form the words or you couldn't get

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past. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Every time I

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see this guy, I cannot flirt with him. Really? Yeah. Really?

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Yeah, it's just. And you're into him. I'm into him.

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Yeah. And yeah, but you just. I would have sex with him at

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the moment. Every time I see him, I'd be like, you can take me anywhere

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you want. Let's go. Let's go. But you have no idea how to flirt with

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him. I don't know how to flirt with. He makes me. He doesn't make me

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nervous. I just don't know what to say to him because I'm like, this guy's

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hot. I'm sure he's heard every line. And it's

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like, I don't know what to say. I get so goofy.

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And you're over here talking to the wife, like all chill and cool, and.

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I'm like, well, I know who you're talking about. And, and you know, I can

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tell you that I am a little flirty with the wife.

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She's exceptionally attractive and. But I'm.

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I'm exceptionally flirty with her because I don't think I have a shot.

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And so I'm just like, it's, it's very fun conversation.

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And she, I find her interesting and she seems

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to Find me interesting. And so it just. It's natural conversation.

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Yeah. But I don't think that I have a shot, so I don't even.

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Like, it's not even on my radar for that. I'm sure you have a shot.

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But even. Well, like, with him, I mean, I think I

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don't have a shot, but then I'm like, maybe I do have a shot.

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His. So he's flirty, and I don't know how to reciprocate

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that. When he flirts with me, I'm like, yes.

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Funny. I'm like a freaking dork.

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I love it. And I get all like. And then I

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look at you and I'm like, okay, you need to talk to me. Like,

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what's funny is I have no problem talking to him. He's exceptionally.

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An exceptionally attractive man. He is. But I've just never

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been intimidated by other men before. Yeah. So, I mean,

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but I know guys that. That would be able to go up to him and,

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like, not be able to say a word. I have friends that would probably be

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very intimidated. Yeah. But I've never been intimidated by men, Especially by

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nice men. He's a very nice guy. Her I can flirt with, too.

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Really? I don't. I got. But it's the husband,

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so her I can. I can kind of flirt

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with, but it's more just friendliness. Yeah. Because I.

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I've tried. I. I've played it out in my head on how

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I'm going to talk to her, and I'm going to be like this Rico suave.

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I'm going to try and tell her. Hey, I see that sometimes. And it just

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goes out the window. So funny. It just goes out. I do like to see

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you flirt sometimes with people because one, you're either awkward

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or two, you're a little bold. Am I? There's no in between.

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There's no in between. You're either like, can I have your tits in my face?

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Or you're like, oh, I really like your blouse.

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Really? I don't know. Like, there's no in between. I don't know what

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I'm doing. Yeah, it's cute. And I don't. I don't think. I think most people,

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when they flirt, don't know what they're doing. Now, I. I bring this topic

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up because I've recently had a few different friends at

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different times come up to me, guy friends.

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And they're like, how do you do it? How do you do it? What is

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it that you're doing? How are you talking like they see me talking to these

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different women. They hear what I'm saying. They see some of our conversations, things like

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that. They're like, how do you do it? You're always sober. I am always sober.

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You don't. Well, I mean, you don't drink. I don't drink, which.

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Which does create courage because it's liquid courage,

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but you don't drink, so you're pretty much always in

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your right mind. I can. I can think a little bit sharper.

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But what's funny is that I've

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never really thought about it until recently when

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I've been asked this. It's like, how do you do it? And then I've been

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told by other women that they think that I'm very charismatic and

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very flirty and that I'm very good at it,

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and blows my mind, because I never would have thought that I'm

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charismatic. I never would have thought that. I don't. I've had guys tell

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me, you don't have to flirt. Just smile.

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No, that doesn't work. I don't think so. Yeah, it's like,

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just smile. No, you want to hear me talk? Really? Yeah, just smile.

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Geez, I wish that worked for me. I could smile. I got a good smile.

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Yeah, I got dimples. So do I. Yeah, you do. I love your dimples.

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You're so cute. You are charismatic, though, you know, I don't

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know what. So that's the hard part about explaining it. So when guys are like,

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well, how do you do it? I found

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that the easiest thing for me is, you know, a lot of

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times people are so afraid of making

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it awkward. They're so afraid of turning things

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off and. Or saying the wrong thing and this and that.

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I pretty much have a list of

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questions in my head, and they're very generalistic

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questions, but they're questions that I would ask somebody if

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I'm interested in them. If I'm not interested in them, then it's not a big

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deal. You know, I've got. I've got a whole nother set of questions that I

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can keep a conversation going with somebody that I'm not interested in.

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But there are more in tune questions

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that I have that I would ask somebody who I'm

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interested in. Right. And there's ways to kind of hone

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that in. As you ask generalistic questions, they kind of reveal things about

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themselves that you can kind of go down that winding road,

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learn a bit more about them, and you kind of figure out what to

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explore. I saw a meme the other day That I

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found very interesting. And he was talking about men with women.

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And, you know, you don't. Men don't

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have to have a lot of money, and you don't have to have this or

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that to impress a woman. All you have to do is just make them

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feel safe. If you can make a woman feel

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safe, she's comfortable. And if she's comfortable,

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it's easy to talk to. I've been told a lot that I'm easy

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to talk to. I have no idea what that means. So I know one person

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that came up to you and asked you how you did it. He's a great

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flirt. He is a great flirt. And 1.

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He doesn't ever really cross boundaries with. With me. He doesn't.

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And I think he's very charming. Yeah.

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And I think he's handsome. Yeah. Like, there's, like.

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I think he's overthinking it. You know, I. I think that

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in the community, and especially if you're in, like, Facebook groups and stuff

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like that, where you see it visibly every day, I think sometimes

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there is a feeling of competition, a feeling of,

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oh, man, I gotta step up my game because this dude's cleaning up, you know,

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that sort of thing. You think sometimes not everybody has it, but I think sometimes

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it's not spoken about externally, but I think sometimes people have it internally

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where they're like, oh, man, you know, this. This guy's talking to this person,

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that person. I need to step up my game. You know, this and that.

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It shouldn't be competition, but at the same time,

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don't compete with this one. You know, got a long

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line. As. As. Realistically, it shouldn't be competition. It's not even.

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Realistically, you should be able to just be

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yourself. I mean, I finally figured it out.

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And what I figured out was it's either gonna

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go well or it's not. And if you worry and worry and

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worry about it not going well, all you're gonna do is screw it

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up. Yeah. So if you stop worrying about it going well

220
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:13,220
and you just be yourself, it's either gonna

221
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go well or it's not. And if it doesn't, then you just pick yourself up

222
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:20,620
and you keep walking. And if it goes well, then it

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goes well. What I'm finding out is, is that a lot of genuine people like

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00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:28,780
for you to be genuine. And so if you just take that tactic

225
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:32,500
and you're just genuine and you just like yourself. I've. I've told

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00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,660
people within the first couple of minutes of our first conversation,

227
00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:40,830
hey, you know, I've. I've seen you around. I've seen your.

228
00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:44,590
How you talk to people. I see how your.

229
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Your personality is. And I'm really interested in. In learning

230
00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:53,109
more about you. I want to know more about you, and I think you're kind

231
00:14:53,609 --> 00:14:57,430
of cute. You know what I mean? Something as simple as that kind of

232
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is a mega flirt. It's not.

233
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Now, different flirt tactics work on different people. They do.

234
00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:08,380
And I have a few different things. I wouldn't like it really,

235
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:11,860
if someone told me, I want to get to know you. Yeah. You're not

236
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that type. I'm not that type. But you know what type you are. And this

237
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is the other thing. So there's different types like that right there. I'd be like,

238
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that wouldn't work on you. What would work on you would be more of the

239
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:26,260
cheesy route. Somebody who can make you laugh with a

240
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:30,540
cheesy flirt. A cheesy line? Yes. If somebody just randomly

241
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,720
messaged you and was like, hey, do you. Do you know what. What kind of

242
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:39,120
material my shirt is in that. In that picture? It's boyfriend material.

243
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:41,800
You know what I mean? Like something stupid like that. And you'd be like,

244
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:46,040
dude, that's funny. What's your name? Let's talk. Yeah, yeah. Different tactics for

245
00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:49,320
different people. Right. And so realistically, I mean, I'm a.

246
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:53,240
I'm a student of human behavior. I love learning

247
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:57,440
about people, and I love seeing what makes them tick,

248
00:15:57,850 --> 00:16:01,130
seeing what makes them, you know, make decisions

249
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:04,810
the way they make them, you know, whatever it is that. That keeps their

250
00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:08,970
engine going. And I find it interesting. So naturally it's.

251
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:12,650
It's easy for me to be inquisitive and ask people about themselves. Right.

252
00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:16,090
But that's really how you

253
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:19,730
figure out how to flirt with them. And there's

254
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,370
some people that I have not figured out how to flirt with them, and I

255
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:26,900
just don't. Yeah, I just don't. But most people

256
00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:30,660
have a different style and way of. Of flirting

257
00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:34,540
or being flirted with that they prefer. Yes. And then

258
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,580
others have, you know, if you come at em a certain way, they're just gonna

259
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,420
shut it down. They're like, yeah, I don't like that. Now, can any woman flirt

260
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,460
with you and you. You dig it? No, no, no.

261
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:49,460
I've had. Most women can. And I'd be like, okay,

262
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:54,190
I kind of like this. This is cool. Yeah, I have had women

263
00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:58,310
flirt with me, but their tactic was like, to look

264
00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:01,630
like they were the top gun, you know,

265
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:04,430
to look like they were the bomb.

266
00:17:05,070 --> 00:17:09,070
You Know, they, they feel like really exuding themselves as

267
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:13,030
this pleasure bomb of greatness, like, will make me

268
00:17:13,530 --> 00:17:17,110
impressed. And, and I'll take that as, as flirting. Okay. The other

269
00:17:17,610 --> 00:17:20,910
one that, that I've dealt with is the mean flirt that,

270
00:17:21,410 --> 00:17:25,470
that person that has never gotten out of that first grade mentality

271
00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:29,110
of, I'm interested in this person, Let me hit them. You know what I

272
00:17:29,610 --> 00:17:32,950
mean? Like, like being mean to them. Yeah. But, but being mean

273
00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:36,550
to them is their way of showing that they're interested. So it's like, oh,

274
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:40,190
well, I'm not. Gonna still as adults. Yeah. Yeah. And I've seen it.

275
00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:43,790
I've seen it a few different times. I've even had one woman admit it to

276
00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:47,710
me that they were a mean flirt. And it's like, if I'm mean to you,

277
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:51,830
that means I'm into you. And I'm like, well, I hope you're never mean.

278
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:55,070
Yeah. I hope you're never into me. Yeah. Because. Yeah, I could see that.

279
00:17:55,570 --> 00:17:59,230
That's kind of cold. You know, I'm a, I'm a sensitive person sometimes. Yes.

280
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,870
I mean, I can, I can dish it out and I can take it,

281
00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:05,430
but if I'm interested in a woman. Yeah.

282
00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:09,030
I get sensitive. Yes. You know, and that's

283
00:18:09,530 --> 00:18:12,790
where I'm like, I don't know. I don't know if I

284
00:18:13,290 --> 00:18:17,270
want to be around this mean person. She may be interested

285
00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:19,950
in me, but I don't know. It's just kind of as, it kind of hurts.

286
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:24,790
Yeah, No, I, I, I've seen that. So there's been a few times

287
00:18:25,290 --> 00:18:29,110
where I've, I've been flirted with and I've just been like, no. But for the

288
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:32,710
most part, I like it. You know what the other one is, is,

289
00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:37,470
is if they're really thirsty, if they're flirting with me, and the desperation

290
00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:41,240
is, is coming out in their flirting. Like, I really want your dick.

291
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:45,000
Yeah. I mean, I want you. Like, it's. What is

292
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:49,000
that? It's one thing to, it's one thing to really want me. It's another thing

293
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:53,560
to have that be the center of our conversation every

294
00:18:54,060 --> 00:18:56,680
single time we see each other. I'm a connection person.

295
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,960
So if every single time we talk it's going to be about sex, I'm going

296
00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:04,520
to lose interest. Yeah. Because what turns me on

297
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:08,120
is my head. What's in my head. If you can, if you can

298
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:12,280
turn me on in there, I'm good. I'm on board. Right. But if you

299
00:19:12,780 --> 00:19:17,520
can't do anything for me that catches my attention

300
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,320
internally, my mental Attention.

301
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,880
If you can't keep a conversation going, if you can't

302
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:29,000
talk to me about anything outside of

303
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:33,120
that, then it's going to start off very hot and heavy

304
00:19:33,620 --> 00:19:36,900
and it's going to slowly fizzle out and

305
00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:40,540
you're going to lose me. Yeah, yeah. If you, if you want to keep

306
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,500
me, it's got to be the right balance between regular

307
00:19:45,220 --> 00:19:47,620
conversation and sexual conversation.

308
00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:51,220
A lot of the people that I am close to in my circle and a

309
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,660
lot of the people that are people that women that I talk to, that sort

310
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,660
of thing that I'm, that I'm close to. It's exactly that. It's a

311
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,580
balance of regular conversation and sexual conversation.

312
00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:06,990
And it's fun, but it's also interesting,

313
00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:10,550
you know, and things like that. Like it. That's, that's, that's how you keep me

314
00:20:11,050 --> 00:20:14,510
coming to bat. If I notice that the conversation is the same

315
00:20:14,590 --> 00:20:18,270
all the time, then I'll start losing interest, you know,

316
00:20:18,990 --> 00:20:22,350
or it will fizzle out. Right. You know, I'll become a boring person.

317
00:20:22,910 --> 00:20:26,030
I could see that. Yeah, it happens. Yeah, it happens.

318
00:20:26,530 --> 00:20:29,970
I'm better in person anyway. So. Yeah. My flirtingness

319
00:20:30,470 --> 00:20:32,810
is online.

320
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,890
Yeah. You're not much of it online. It's not genuine.

321
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:40,690
Well, in person, I've noticed I'm way better in

322
00:20:41,190 --> 00:20:44,410
person. If I like you and I'm chatting with you and I'm flirty in person,

323
00:20:44,889 --> 00:20:48,730
you, you're, you've won. I'm not, I'm only flirty.

324
00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:53,130
You're a different type of flirty. Flirty with certain people online. Only certain

325
00:20:53,630 --> 00:20:56,090
people. Like, I can give you a handful of people that I actually like and

326
00:20:56,590 --> 00:21:00,100
I'll actually flirt with. Everybody else is like, it's funny.

327
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,780
So I, I see you flirt in person and,

328
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:07,540
and the people don't get it. The people don't get it. Yeah.

329
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,020
And your flirting style is not like most women. It's very

330
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,180
classic. It is classic. Like, it's not, it's not tasteless. No, it's,

331
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,700
it's classy, actually. Like it, you're, you're very,

332
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,580
it's kind of dry, your, your flirting style. And I don't mean that in

333
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,470
a negative way. I mean that more in, in a straight.

334
00:21:26,970 --> 00:21:30,670
You're just a straightforward, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna touch your arm

335
00:21:31,170 --> 00:21:34,030
and I'm gonna make a little, it's very adult. Like, I think.

336
00:21:34,530 --> 00:21:38,910
Right. It's not. I, I, I think compared to most,

337
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:43,550
most women will flirt in a very giggly kind of,

338
00:21:44,430 --> 00:21:47,150
you know, kind of way. I don't even know how to, I. Mean, I describe

339
00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:51,200
it sometimes, but like, really, that takes, yeah, that takes a while. I've never

340
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:55,680
seen you do that with anybody but me. Yeah. Really? Yeah, it just takes a

341
00:21:56,180 --> 00:21:59,520
while. But the, the awkwardness for

342
00:22:00,020 --> 00:22:03,320
me is when they don't bring it, when they don't, when it doesn't, when it,

343
00:22:03,820 --> 00:22:07,200
when they don't return the flirtiness. Sure. That's when, then it gets awkward for me.

344
00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:11,920
It's like I'm just not going to flirt. Then like, what happens kind

345
00:22:12,420 --> 00:22:16,010
of goes out the window, you know, it's like. Or if they don't read the

346
00:22:16,510 --> 00:22:20,610
cues, like that's my thing. Like, how could you not read the cues?

347
00:22:21,330 --> 00:22:24,410
Well, it's not that easy. I mean, you're talking to me.

348
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:27,650
I mean, I had low self esteem,

349
00:22:28,370 --> 00:22:32,090
so the thought that somebody is blatantly flirting

350
00:22:32,590 --> 00:22:35,890
with me would either go over my head or I'd be like,

351
00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:39,010
are you sure you mean to talk to me? Like, are you talking to the

352
00:22:39,510 --> 00:22:42,880
wrong person? Because this is me we're talking about. You know,

353
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:47,080
how funny. You flirted with me first. I did. You are the only woman

354
00:22:47,580 --> 00:22:51,080
that I have ever pursued before in my

355
00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:54,880
entire life. Ever. And, and that sounds

356
00:22:55,380 --> 00:22:58,640
like, I don't know, it almost sounds like I'm bragging. I'm not.

357
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:02,320
I have never been very, I guess.

358
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,240
Okay, so when I was in elementary, I gave this girl flowers.

359
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,880
She ended up giving them to another, another person. I was completely crushed

360
00:23:10,380 --> 00:23:14,040
by that. Right. You go through middle school, you go through high school

361
00:23:14,540 --> 00:23:17,440
and everything is, oh, well, I think of you as a brother, blah, blah,

362
00:23:17,940 --> 00:23:21,520
blah, Traumatic experiences. I have PTSD

363
00:23:22,020 --> 00:23:25,440
from that stuff. Yes. So because of that, I never pursued,

364
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,800
I never pursued anybody because I just didn't want

365
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:33,680
to. Yeah, I didn't want to deal with that. And so all

366
00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:38,610
of the girls that I dated throughout the years had pursued

367
00:23:39,110 --> 00:23:42,690
me and you know, they, they showed interest in

368
00:23:43,190 --> 00:23:46,370
me and they sparked up the, the conversations, stuff like that.

369
00:23:46,870 --> 00:23:49,450
I didn't. So when you came along,

370
00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:53,090
I knew I had to have you in my life. And I was like,

371
00:23:53,590 --> 00:23:57,090
no, I, I, I don't know what I have to do to get this

372
00:23:57,590 --> 00:24:00,930
girl's attention. You made me laugh. Yeah, it didn't take much. That was it.

373
00:24:01,430 --> 00:24:04,850
That didn't take much. That was it. And, and realistically, for any, anybody who

374
00:24:05,350 --> 00:24:08,650
knows, press here if you're looking to figure her out,

375
00:24:09,150 --> 00:24:12,530
just make her laugh, man. But here's the thing. And this is where you're screwed,

376
00:24:12,690 --> 00:24:15,930
my friend. And this is where you're screwed Me or them? Them.

377
00:24:16,430 --> 00:24:18,690
I'm talking to them right now. Okay, go ahead. You can. This is a.

378
00:24:18,770 --> 00:24:22,410
An a and podcast conversation.

379
00:24:22,910 --> 00:24:26,570
You can see your way out right now. Okay? So anybody

380
00:24:27,070 --> 00:24:30,330
who's interested in flirting with my wife, and you know her, I'm going to give

381
00:24:30,830 --> 00:24:34,230
you the key, and that's just. Make her laugh. That's the key. But you said

382
00:24:34,730 --> 00:24:38,350
not to make me laugh. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm changing that now.

383
00:24:38,850 --> 00:24:42,590
Okay. They can make you laugh all they want, but here's the

384
00:24:43,090 --> 00:24:46,430
problem is you are married to the funniest guy in your life. Oh,

385
00:24:46,930 --> 00:24:49,950
they can't be funnier than you? No. Okay.

386
00:24:50,450 --> 00:24:53,510
They will never be funnier than. Oh, nobody will be funny. No. That's like you

387
00:24:54,010 --> 00:24:56,790
finding somebody who has sex with you better than me. Nobody will.

388
00:24:57,290 --> 00:25:00,810
Nobody will ever be. The audience will be. Will be

389
00:25:01,310 --> 00:25:04,210
the comedian that. That you want them to be. They. They can't hold a light.

390
00:25:04,710 --> 00:25:08,130
And everybody. Nobody will ever be the sexiest kitten you've

391
00:25:08,630 --> 00:25:12,290
ever had. But me. The sec. That's really. That's where you went? The sexiest kitten?

392
00:25:12,790 --> 00:25:16,330
Yes. Well, I mean, I make you laugh. But you do make me laugh.

393
00:25:16,570 --> 00:25:19,690
Yeah, you do make me laugh. I. I love that you make me laugh.

394
00:25:20,190 --> 00:25:23,530
Okay, so have you ever had what is your most awkward or hilarious

395
00:25:23,610 --> 00:25:26,140
first approach story? Do you have one?

396
00:25:27,580 --> 00:25:31,380
Oh, man, probably not. Well, I mean, all of my

397
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,340
approaches have been awkward. I wouldn't say they're hilarious, though.

398
00:25:36,620 --> 00:25:40,340
You know what? One time I went to a bar. It was before you.

399
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,500
Like, literally before you. I was at Murdoch, and I

400
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,380
was there, and I hadn't really talked to

401
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,560
men, right? And this guy who was not attractive

402
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,800
or he was semi attractive came up to me and

403
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,320
started talking to me, like, just, hey, you're very

404
00:26:01,820 --> 00:26:05,800
pretty. Are you new to this bar? Like, have you been here before? Are you

405
00:26:06,300 --> 00:26:09,920
from this area? And we just started talking, talking, talking. That guy won me over.

406
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,840
He left. And the people that I was with were like,

407
00:26:14,340 --> 00:26:17,600
wow, that took some balls. No one has ever done that.

408
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:22,360
And I was like, right. So that guy gave me the confidence

409
00:26:22,860 --> 00:26:25,800
to go up to other. To go up to guys and be like,

410
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,840
hey, I want to be your friend. Well, that's the way you

411
00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:32,760
were when we started dating. You were. You were that way with other guys.

412
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,920
And I was like, what the hell, man? She's awfully flirty. Yeah, you used

413
00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:40,800
to be real flirty. And I don't know what happened, but.

414
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,990
I had never had anybody flirt with me the way that guy did. Like,

415
00:26:44,490 --> 00:26:47,790
I had Never had anybody. I've only been married and then divorced, married again.

416
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:51,230
So the dating part. Right. But when that guy came up to me, I was

417
00:26:51,730 --> 00:26:54,670
like, this is what. It's to be flirted with in person.

418
00:26:55,230 --> 00:26:58,670
So would you say that that was the best flirt experience

419
00:26:58,910 --> 00:27:02,950
that you've ever had? Flirt experience I've ever had besides you. And what

420
00:27:03,450 --> 00:27:05,710
about in the lifestyle? In the lifestyle,

421
00:27:06,910 --> 00:27:10,840
I really like genuine people.

422
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,600
Yeah. So do not come up to me. Or, like, when they come.

423
00:27:15,100 --> 00:27:18,080
Or when they come up to me. It's very genuine. It's like, hey,

424
00:27:18,580 --> 00:27:22,200
Bris, how are you doing? How's the podcast? You know,

425
00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:26,000
just regular conversation. And then I can see that the

426
00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:29,880
little flirtiness is happening because they have me giggling or they're kind

427
00:27:30,380 --> 00:27:34,600
of, like, complimenting me. Then it gets more and more. There are very

428
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:38,810
few men who have done that. Really. And I

429
00:27:39,310 --> 00:27:42,890
could probably. Probably just a handful of guys who have actually done

430
00:27:43,050 --> 00:27:46,650
that. So when you get flirted with most. Most of the time,

431
00:27:47,050 --> 00:27:50,530
what is. How does it come out? Like, what is the tactics? It's very,

432
00:27:51,030 --> 00:27:54,010
oh, my God, you're so hot. How can we play? Really?

433
00:27:54,510 --> 00:27:57,370
Or, oh, my God, you're just. You're so freaking gorgeous.

434
00:27:58,490 --> 00:28:01,810
And that's it. Yeah. And then, of course, it just goes on from there.

435
00:28:02,310 --> 00:28:05,660
I'm like, oh, thank you. Because that's it. Right. That's all you're gonna get from

436
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,420
me, is you're giving me a compliment. I'm gonna say thank you. Now, where's the

437
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,420
line as far as when you're getting somebody,

438
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,340
Somebody messages you and they start getting

439
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,740
to know you and you're liking it, you know, so you guys are talking.

440
00:28:21,460 --> 00:28:25,020
At what point is it appropriate to start turning

441
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,980
it more sexual in the same conversation?

442
00:28:29,700 --> 00:28:33,260
You know, different conversation. Later on in that. Later on in

443
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,220
that conversation, it can even be the same day. Yeah. But let's start off

444
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:41,860
a little slower. Yeah. You know, there's the guy

445
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:46,340
who asked you how you did it. Yeah. Great conversationist.

446
00:28:46,820 --> 00:28:50,420
I can have a conversation with him without even being flirty. And then towards the

447
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,380
end of the conversation, it's a little flirty. Even though we've always been together.

448
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,460
Like, we're always together. Right? Right. There was another guy who was

449
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:01,980
at the club, and he was very talkative to me, Very nice guy came

450
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:04,540
back and messaged me, and he was like, it was really nice to talk to

451
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,660
you. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Then it got a little bit like, you were,

452
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,340
you're very hot, and blah, blah, make it genuine.

453
00:29:12,300 --> 00:29:15,340
Like, let's talk about other things. Now, I do

454
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,700
get bored if you have to keep the conversation going,

455
00:29:19,100 --> 00:29:22,680
especially via messenger text. Because it's not that I get bored,

456
00:29:23,180 --> 00:29:26,680
I'm just, I get distracted. Like I'm everywhere and at work.

457
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,200
So, yeah, that's a good, you know, make it,

458
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,480
don't, don't get too, like, ask me so many questions. Yeah,

459
00:29:34,980 --> 00:29:38,200
but just see and I, that's, that's the hard part, I think,

460
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:41,720
for a lot of people is they don't know when to

461
00:29:42,220 --> 00:29:45,560
break into the sexual conversation because we're all here for a reason.

462
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,360
We're all in the life. I can break it in for a rake if I

463
00:29:48,860 --> 00:29:51,800
see, yeah. If I see that it's normal. Yeah, I'll break it in after that.

464
00:29:52,310 --> 00:29:56,030
But, and I can do it. Not everybody is gonna

465
00:29:56,530 --> 00:29:59,710
wait for the person they're talking to. So I

466
00:30:00,210 --> 00:30:03,550
guess what I'm trying to say is, is what, what is the

467
00:30:04,050 --> 00:30:07,590
line where for most people, where, where would that line be? Where they go,

468
00:30:07,670 --> 00:30:11,470
okay, I guess I can go ahead and start talking sexually. It could

469
00:30:11,970 --> 00:30:15,030
be very simple kind of words. It doesn't have to be like,

470
00:30:15,530 --> 00:30:17,270
man, I've been watching you and I've been wanting to bang you.

471
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:23,040
No, wow. You know, more like we're talking throughout

472
00:30:23,540 --> 00:30:26,080
the day and then towards the evening, you're like, okay, well, I'm gonna go to

473
00:30:26,580 --> 00:30:29,360
bed or whatever, or the next day, right. You're like, hey, how are you?

474
00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:32,920
Oh, I was good. And then it can, it can turn. Yeah.

475
00:30:33,420 --> 00:30:37,800
But let me know that you like more than just sex

476
00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:41,400
time with me. Right. You know, I used to have a

477
00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:45,270
line that I used in order to break into the, the sexual

478
00:30:45,770 --> 00:30:49,350
conversation. And I haven't used this in a long time because it's so lame,

479
00:30:49,850 --> 00:30:54,270
but it was the easiest thing to use to break into sexual conversation.

480
00:30:54,770 --> 00:30:58,030
So I'd have these regular conversations and then I would say

481
00:30:58,530 --> 00:31:02,070
something like, I had a dream about you and it was a sexual dream.

482
00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:05,350
Oh, I've done that before. And everybody wants to know the deeds on that,

483
00:31:05,670 --> 00:31:08,550
you know. Did I tell you that one?

484
00:31:09,030 --> 00:31:11,990
No, I told you that one. No, I've used that one before.

485
00:31:13,190 --> 00:31:15,710
There's a reason we're married. There you go. By the way, I had a dream

486
00:31:16,210 --> 00:31:19,030
about you. No, you know, I mean, I,

487
00:31:19,530 --> 00:31:23,110
I, I hate to say it, but if you struggle to make

488
00:31:23,610 --> 00:31:27,430
that transition from regular conversation to sexual

489
00:31:27,930 --> 00:31:31,150
conversation, just use that. Yeah. Because realistically,

490
00:31:31,650 --> 00:31:35,070
that opens the door to sexual conversation.

491
00:31:35,570 --> 00:31:39,260
Now, obviously, it could be a completely made up thing and

492
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,140
you could easily, you know, we don't Want to be liars here. You could easily

493
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,700
go, you know what? I'm be honest with you that I didn't. But this was

494
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,260
just something I wanted to use to open the door to them. Yeah. You know

495
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,500
what I mean? You can make it funny like you, you can. There's different ways.

496
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,820
And don't feel bad if you ask if they're interested

497
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,500
and they say no. Yeah. Learn to take rejection. Right. Yeah, that's a big one.

498
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,060
Learn to take rejection if somebody isn't reciprocating

499
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,400
the same kind of flirty vibe with you.

500
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:12,120
I mean, ask them if they're into it. Yeah. You know, really quick,

501
00:32:12,620 --> 00:32:16,360
before we go, is it better to approach as a couple or

502
00:32:16,860 --> 00:32:20,440
solo when you want to flirt with somebody? That does depend on the scenario.

503
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:24,800
You know, that's, that's a tough one. It really depends on

504
00:32:25,300 --> 00:32:28,720
the dynamics of the couple. Yeah. Yeah. Say it's

505
00:32:29,220 --> 00:32:32,320
a couple that plays separately and they don't, you know, they have separate

506
00:32:32,820 --> 00:32:36,440
conversations and stuff like that. I think that one

507
00:32:36,940 --> 00:32:40,560
on one flirting is fine, but you really have to

508
00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:44,520
know that dynamic first. And so I usually try to ask that ahead of

509
00:32:45,020 --> 00:32:49,080
time. Well, that's different because our dynamic isn't.

510
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,960
We play separate only with people we. Know, but we still play

511
00:32:53,460 --> 00:32:57,480
separate. And we've always had the ability to have separate

512
00:32:57,980 --> 00:33:01,540
conversations. Yeah. So while people don't

513
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,980
always know that, we pretty much operate independently on

514
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,380
a lot of situations. Right. So like. But when does it come into play?

515
00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:12,700
So if you're talking to somebody. Right. You're talking to a

516
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,900
woman and, and she is into you or whatever.

517
00:33:17,060 --> 00:33:20,340
Yeah. And she likes girls or whatever.

518
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:24,260
Right. And she maybe wants to play with me too. When, when does that,

519
00:33:24,340 --> 00:33:28,080
when does that come into a flirt? Like, when do you, do you interject

520
00:33:28,580 --> 00:33:31,800
the wife then? No, no, no.

521
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,320
Normally if a woman is talking to

522
00:33:35,820 --> 00:33:39,080
me one on one, does that mean. You'Re solo playing with that

523
00:33:39,580 --> 00:33:43,120
person? No, that doesn't necessarily mean that. What it means

524
00:33:43,620 --> 00:33:46,840
to me more so is that she's interested in me individually.

525
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:51,440
She may be interested in us as a couple, but she's also interested

526
00:33:51,940 --> 00:33:55,400
in me individually. Right. And so she's trying to set up a connection between

527
00:33:55,900 --> 00:33:59,870
her and I and you know, for all I know, she could be messaging you

528
00:34:00,370 --> 00:34:03,510
one on one as well. And, and that sort of thing. And we don't have

529
00:34:04,010 --> 00:34:07,110
a, a group message going on. But that's what that

530
00:34:07,610 --> 00:34:10,870
says to me is that she's trying to establish a connection. I think lines get

531
00:34:11,270 --> 00:34:14,950
blurred. Blurred in that, in that aspect.

532
00:34:15,450 --> 00:34:18,230
Yeah. Of who flirts with who and who's going to play with who?

533
00:34:18,710 --> 00:34:21,350
Because if the girl wants to play with me as well,

534
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:26,520
she definitely needs to make an approach this way. Yeah, but flirting. Flirting doesn't

535
00:34:27,020 --> 00:34:30,240
necessarily mean playing. Well, no, I'm. And that's very true. Flirting doesn't

536
00:34:30,740 --> 00:34:32,920
necessarily. But like you said, we're in the lifestyle. We are in the lifestyle.

537
00:34:33,420 --> 00:34:35,520
That's what I mean. You're not talking to somebody vanilla. You're talking to somebody who's

538
00:34:36,020 --> 00:34:38,800
flirting with you because they're going to want. But let's. Let's be honest here.

539
00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:43,120
How many people have we run into that have flirted with you or me or

540
00:34:43,620 --> 00:34:46,560
how many people have we flirted with that we know we're not going to play

541
00:34:47,060 --> 00:34:50,730
with? Yeah. I mean, come on. Yeah. This is the

542
00:34:51,230 --> 00:34:55,170
whole fun part of this. This lifestyle is that we're able to flirt

543
00:34:55,670 --> 00:34:58,890
and be flirty with whoever we want to be. Whether we're

544
00:34:59,390 --> 00:35:04,050
going to play with them or not is a completely different story. Right. So what's

545
00:35:04,550 --> 00:35:08,650
the. What's the reason for flirting with somebody that you're not going

546
00:35:09,150 --> 00:35:11,370
to play with? Well, sometimes flirting is just fun.

547
00:35:12,330 --> 00:35:15,810
Sometimes it's just fun. Yeah. Flirting with

548
00:35:16,310 --> 00:35:19,570
that intention of hopefully sealing the deal. I don't know. I mean,

549
00:35:20,070 --> 00:35:23,770
sometimes it's. It's a lot easier said than done. Mm.

550
00:35:24,490 --> 00:35:28,610
Yeah. Yeah. But I. I get what you mean in the fact that it kind

551
00:35:29,110 --> 00:35:33,090
of. The lines. Like the cross. Yeah. The lines kind of blurred because you

552
00:35:33,590 --> 00:35:36,010
don't know. Yeah. Like they're flirting with you,

553
00:35:36,810 --> 00:35:40,170
but they don't flirt this way. And it's like, okay, so what. What happens and

554
00:35:40,670 --> 00:35:44,450
where does it go? Yeah. And mostly the. And the people that. The majority

555
00:35:44,950 --> 00:35:47,990
of people that. To. That we're actually talking to.

556
00:35:48,230 --> 00:35:52,270
Yeah. Whether it's by yourself or me by

557
00:35:52,770 --> 00:35:55,830
myself or together in a group, we pretty much want

558
00:35:56,330 --> 00:36:00,230
to play with them. Yeah. We don't really hold conversations. Right. With True.

559
00:36:00,390 --> 00:36:03,990
Without that. Or not. They kind of fizzle if they're not

560
00:36:04,070 --> 00:36:07,990
into that. Right, right. So that's what I'm saying. Like, when does that

561
00:36:08,490 --> 00:36:11,790
come into play? Where. When the flirting only goes one

562
00:36:12,290 --> 00:36:15,190
way and doesn't come this way. Yeah. You know what I mean? So, like,

563
00:36:15,690 --> 00:36:18,510
someone's only flirting with me and doesn't flirt with you, or someone's. Only flirting with

564
00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:22,590
me and not flirting with you. I mean, we've had that. Yeah. Yeah, we've had

565
00:36:23,090 --> 00:36:26,870
that. And, you know, it can cause some upset feelings

566
00:36:27,370 --> 00:36:30,670
or some butt hurt feelings, you know, with couples, that sort of thing.

567
00:36:31,170 --> 00:36:34,310
Yeah. You Know, there's couples out there where, you know, a guy will feel jealous

568
00:36:34,810 --> 00:36:37,830
because his wife's getting all the attention, or the wife will feel jealous because the

569
00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:42,510
guy's getting all the attention. But I don't get jealous. I remove

570
00:36:43,010 --> 00:36:46,190
myself. Yeah, I know. And that's almost a form of

571
00:36:46,430 --> 00:36:50,230
preventing yourself from getting jealous. I remove. Yeah. You disconnect

572
00:36:50,730 --> 00:36:54,350
completely. I disconnect. I'm like. And I. Can. You start staring off into

573
00:36:54,850 --> 00:36:58,310
space. You don't really have contact with anybody.

574
00:36:58,810 --> 00:37:02,470
You just sit there. Yeah. And. Yeah, that's. I disconnect because if you can't read

575
00:37:02,970 --> 00:37:05,910
the room, there's no reason for me to be in. See, I. I feel like

576
00:37:06,410 --> 00:37:09,710
you're very unforgiving. I am sometimes. And this is not

577
00:37:10,210 --> 00:37:13,710
the community for that dud. Like, you have to understand that there's so

578
00:37:14,210 --> 00:37:17,510
many socially awkward people out there who don't know

579
00:37:17,830 --> 00:37:21,750
one. There's a whole group called neurodivergent

580
00:37:22,250 --> 00:37:25,790
swingers. I mean, let's face facts. There are a lot of people in the lifestyle

581
00:37:26,290 --> 00:37:29,190
who are neurodivergent. They don't know how to read a room.

582
00:37:29,430 --> 00:37:32,790
But what if. You know what I mean? What if you're. What if the flirting

583
00:37:33,290 --> 00:37:36,630
is extreme? That could also be a neurodivergent thing,

584
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:41,240
you know, Or. Or, you know, just the. What? You know, maybe an overconfident

585
00:37:41,740 --> 00:37:45,360
thing. You know, I mean, realistically, you. You have to give people the

586
00:37:45,860 --> 00:37:49,320
benefit of the doubt at least once. You have to kind of give them the

587
00:37:49,820 --> 00:37:53,199
opportunity. If you're unforgiving immediately and you go,

588
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:57,520
forget it. No, I usually lost interest. You've gotten better at it. I usually

589
00:37:58,020 --> 00:38:01,320
give them a few times. Yeah. And if. For the longest time, and if they

590
00:38:01,820 --> 00:38:05,360
haven't. And if they haven't read the room, I'm. I really do check out.

591
00:38:05,530 --> 00:38:09,250
Yeah. But I'm okay right now with myself. To okay, check out. Yeah.

592
00:38:09,750 --> 00:38:11,850
To be, like, peace. Yeah. You know,

593
00:38:13,370 --> 00:38:16,490
I am. But I am forgiving. And I totally understand the.

594
00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:20,290
The awkwardness, like, because I do not know

595
00:38:20,790 --> 00:38:24,490
how to flirt all the time. Right. So I do get it. But it is

596
00:38:24,990 --> 00:38:28,570
really hard when it's not reciprocated and, you know,

597
00:38:29,450 --> 00:38:32,700
they want you. Yeah, that's. Well, I mean,

598
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:37,140
that's. How do you know it if they don't reciprocate? I do because

599
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,740
they've said it. So, like, maybe. So that's a reciprocation.

600
00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:44,620
So, like, they. For them to say it. Well, they say it via

601
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,180
text, but then we meet them, and it's very different. Do you know what I

602
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,300
mean? Like. Well, then. Ought to tell you right there. It's a socially awkward situation.

603
00:38:51,700 --> 00:38:55,060
Yeah. I mean that. Yeah. I mean that alone. You.

604
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,020
You don't. You don't like that they don't read the room. But then at the

605
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,820
same time, you're kind of not reading the room. And then I get nervous of,

606
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,760
am I flirting too much? Am I making them feel awkward?

607
00:39:05,260 --> 00:39:08,880
You overthink. Am I making them feel awkward? Oh, I'm just gonna stick

608
00:39:09,380 --> 00:39:12,080
to my. That's crazy. I'm just gonna stick to what I do. Damn.

609
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,040
You know what? And I can ask. Yeah.

610
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,960
I can ask. But if I ask. Yeah. If I

611
00:39:19,460 --> 00:39:22,400
ask and it's like, it's. Gonna come out shitty. It's gonna come out shitty.

612
00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:25,920
Yeah. Because I'm gonna. I'm gonna ask, and then I'm gonna be like, okay,

613
00:39:26,420 --> 00:39:29,090
cool. Yeah. Because. Well, because you kind of have a tone when you say things

614
00:39:29,590 --> 00:39:31,210
like that. When. Whenever you get confrontational.

615
00:39:33,850 --> 00:39:37,650
Yeah. In person, it comes out. You think, everything I say is

616
00:39:38,150 --> 00:39:42,050
confrontational. You think everything. Like, you. Even one of my tone gets a little higher.

617
00:39:42,550 --> 00:39:45,690
You're like, you very. You know, it's not. Well, no. I mean,

618
00:39:46,190 --> 00:39:48,810
I've seen how you operate. I know how you are. Yes.

619
00:39:49,530 --> 00:39:52,770
People do not know how you are. No. So when you

620
00:39:53,270 --> 00:39:56,930
act a certain way with them, I know what you're doing. I know how I've

621
00:39:57,430 --> 00:40:01,410
been with you for a long time, and so I know the forgiving part

622
00:40:01,910 --> 00:40:04,050
of that. Yes. Others don't.

623
00:40:04,770 --> 00:40:08,170
And you're not very open with your. How you act.

624
00:40:08,670 --> 00:40:11,450
And a lot of time, I mean, you barely started telling people, well, I'm adhd,

625
00:40:11,950 --> 00:40:14,770
and so I'm kind of everywhere and that sort of thing. But previous to that,

626
00:40:15,010 --> 00:40:17,930
you just were who you were. You didn't discuss that. Open.

627
00:40:18,430 --> 00:40:22,020
Yeah. I feel like there is a big issue

628
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:26,460
with people in the community not being open with what they're interested in

629
00:40:26,620 --> 00:40:29,900
immediately. I think if everybody was open immediately

630
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,780
with what they were interested in, I agree. This would go a lot smoother for

631
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:37,820
everybody. I agree. And I've been actually utilizing that a lot lately.

632
00:40:37,980 --> 00:40:41,420
You know, if I'm interested in somebody, even if it's the second

633
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,060
or third time I've talked to them, I will tell them, hey, you know what?

634
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,890
I don't know what it is about you, but you spark an interest in me,

635
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,520
and I'd love to learn more and see where it goes from there.

636
00:40:51,020 --> 00:40:54,080
You know what I mean? And I keep it as. And if.

637
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:58,640
If it goes somewhere great. If it Doesn't.

638
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,080
Well, hey, I said. I said what I said, and at least they know.

639
00:41:02,580 --> 00:41:05,040
Yeah. You know what I mean? Just taking the guesswork. I did that in person.

640
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,320
Yeah. Yeah. Messenger, sometimes. Why not?

641
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:12,040
Because I'm not going to hold the conversation. Like, I'm literally going to step away

642
00:41:12,540 --> 00:41:15,600
from it. If they text me, that's different. But messenger, I don't

643
00:41:16,100 --> 00:41:17,680
know. I just kind of go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

644
00:41:18,180 --> 00:41:21,480
I mean, all of my messenger conversations, I. I let them know, hey, you know,

645
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:25,760
life happens. So, yeah, you can drop off at any time and

646
00:41:26,260 --> 00:41:29,400
you can pick up at any time, and we can pick this up, you know,

647
00:41:29,900 --> 00:41:33,040
tomorrow or whenever. Yeah. You know, like, I'm not gonna get hurt about it.

648
00:41:33,540 --> 00:41:36,960
Everybody's got their own life. Yeah. You know, but I don't know. I guess we're

649
00:41:37,460 --> 00:41:40,410
all different, though. Yeah. Awkwardness. Yeah.

650
00:41:40,490 --> 00:41:43,210
Anyways, we went a little bit over. Oh.

651
00:41:43,370 --> 00:41:46,410
So this one's a little bit of a longer quickie. This is a

652
00:41:46,910 --> 00:41:49,370
medium quickie. Is a quickie and a half. Yeah.

653
00:41:51,210 --> 00:41:54,329
Now it's. Now it's more of a quitty because we got to quit it now.

654
00:41:54,890 --> 00:41:58,810
Yeah. You like that? That was good. That was charismatic. That was good.

655
00:41:58,890 --> 00:42:01,850
All right, guys. Hey, thank you so much for joining us for the show.

656
00:42:02,350 --> 00:42:05,820
We appreciate you joining us for our long quickie. Be sure to check

657
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,660
us out on our social media. Our Facebook page has our.

658
00:42:09,740 --> 00:42:12,620
A link to our phone number where you can call or text us,

659
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:16,380
leave us voicemails. We want to interact with you. If you see our posts on

660
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:20,260
social media, comment, send us messages. We want to hear from you.

661
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:24,140
We want your wonderful questions and comments

662
00:42:24,460 --> 00:42:27,980
because y' all are wonderful people. Yes. So with

663
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:32,100
that, we appreciate you guys listening. We appreciate you guys being around,

664
00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:34,580
and we will see you next week.